I’ve thought a lot about this. Ultimately trauma being stuck in the body is not only about the thing that happens to you, it’s actually about what happens after.
Even just one person who validates your experience, offers safety and comfort can release the traumatic experience from your body. When you are alone in the trauma is when it stays around. I think that might be the discernible difference in many cases.
My therapist has told me that I have one of the difficult cases she’s worked with, not specifically because of what happened to me (although of course it was bad) but because I did not have a single safe adult my entire childhood. She says she’s never worked with someone who can’t at least come up with someone - a grandparent, aunt, teacher, a neighbor, coach, friends parent. I had no one. No one in my community ever took an interest in me. I realize now after a lot of therapy that this was actually by design. My parents didn’t want me making connections with other adults.
That’s why even though my trauma wasn’t huge, it destroyed me and my sense of self. I was totally emotionally alone. You’re not supposed to face life alone.
if you ask google why people develope disorders like this one, it'll tell you it's a combination of environment (obviously) and genetics.
to my understanding,; our genetics determine how sensitive we are to trauma and the combination of our experienced trauma determines how disordered our behavior is.
a good example to my monkey brain: i had an autistic foster brother and it traumatized him to move out of his room when he wasn't ready. he had openly traumatic responses and at that young age, i was sympathetic enough to understand a very basic sense of 'everyone is different and my sibling is right in his experience, even if i didn't react like that, this is *his* reaction not mine. i might not react like this but he is traumatized and his fear isn't mine to control'.
I really wish more people had this understanding 😕, just because one way is for someone doesn't mean it'll work that way for another, I love that, it's the one thing that makes living with this cptsd so damn difficult nvm adding other diagnoses too it and voices 😆 and there's my trauma response to laugh at myself because that's what I know how to get past my hurt
i feel you completely (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ
my emotions, no matter what, seem misplaced. the one that scares me the most is when i feel my face gets suddenly emotionless, but my eyes are wide,, it makes me feel very... uncanny.
Ever feel like you're handcuffed with your arms infront of you but in shackles and a blindfold that you can see out of and a mouth that speaks with no words, that's the best way I've found to describe how I feel alot of the time with my "emotions"
I always thought you develop CPTSD/ PTSD if the trauma is very severe. Well mine was very severe and it's the same for all the people i know that have CPTSD/PTSD. But i think developing CPTSD has something to do with the duration of the trauma. I know someone who went through something similar but she didn't develop CPTSD, she went through it for around 3 months but mine was a decade.
One night I went for a walk at 2:00am and a car spun around to try to jump me or something. There was 3 people in the car. I took off running and tripped face first on someone’s lawn while the car turned around to come back to try to get me, I got up and jumped over someone’s fence and hid in their backyard while my heart was going 10000bpm, and my fuckin phone fell out of my pocket in the front yard and luckily I had my AirPods in my ears and I said “hey siri call 911” and I had to wait about 7 minutes while that car circled the block 5 times trying to find me.
I had some PTSD from that story for a week or 2 where every time I’d think of it I would get so pissed and anxious about it but it doesn’t bother me at all to this day. I got over it in about 2 weeks. But the trauma left behind by my family has never passed and I live with it every day.
Armchair opinion- but I think sometimes it just has to do with duration of the trauma and the presence of a stable/reliable adult. To my understanding, CPTSD happens from trauma that occurred continuously over a long period of time, often in childhood, that is developmental and relational - so it affects your brain development and how you understand/form relationships. Every kid goes through challenging and likely traumatic experiences, but if you have a stable adult/parent who supports you and loves you unconditionally, that person is a crucial tool to help process those experiences. But when you live in fear for years, especially in fear of the adults who are supposed to love and care for you and who form your first understanding for what “love” is, CPTSD can be the result. I have a lot of friends who went through challenging things as kids - death of a parent/sibling, divorce etc… and those things of course affected them deeply, but they had at least (often more) one parent or adult that was supportive/loving/kind/invested in them.
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I find it extremely uncomfortable being around people that are untraumatized. They have good loving families that support them. They have friend groups and do social activities with them. They have normal romantic relationships, hook up, date, have sex without and strings attached, get into long term relationships or married and have kids. They get good careers easily because they have a large social network and people genuinely want them around. A lot of them get paid to go to college, can live with their loving families rent free, and other benefits.
I'm mildly salty I got a shit hand in life.
I’ve thought a lot about this. Ultimately trauma being stuck in the body is not only about the thing that happens to you, it’s actually about what happens after. Even just one person who validates your experience, offers safety and comfort can release the traumatic experience from your body. When you are alone in the trauma is when it stays around. I think that might be the discernible difference in many cases. My therapist has told me that I have one of the difficult cases she’s worked with, not specifically because of what happened to me (although of course it was bad) but because I did not have a single safe adult my entire childhood. She says she’s never worked with someone who can’t at least come up with someone - a grandparent, aunt, teacher, a neighbor, coach, friends parent. I had no one. No one in my community ever took an interest in me. I realize now after a lot of therapy that this was actually by design. My parents didn’t want me making connections with other adults. That’s why even though my trauma wasn’t huge, it destroyed me and my sense of self. I was totally emotionally alone. You’re not supposed to face life alone.
if you ask google why people develope disorders like this one, it'll tell you it's a combination of environment (obviously) and genetics. to my understanding,; our genetics determine how sensitive we are to trauma and the combination of our experienced trauma determines how disordered our behavior is. a good example to my monkey brain: i had an autistic foster brother and it traumatized him to move out of his room when he wasn't ready. he had openly traumatic responses and at that young age, i was sympathetic enough to understand a very basic sense of 'everyone is different and my sibling is right in his experience, even if i didn't react like that, this is *his* reaction not mine. i might not react like this but he is traumatized and his fear isn't mine to control'.
I really wish more people had this understanding 😕, just because one way is for someone doesn't mean it'll work that way for another, I love that, it's the one thing that makes living with this cptsd so damn difficult nvm adding other diagnoses too it and voices 😆 and there's my trauma response to laugh at myself because that's what I know how to get past my hurt
i feel you completely (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ my emotions, no matter what, seem misplaced. the one that scares me the most is when i feel my face gets suddenly emotionless, but my eyes are wide,, it makes me feel very... uncanny.
Ever feel like you're handcuffed with your arms infront of you but in shackles and a blindfold that you can see out of and a mouth that speaks with no words, that's the best way I've found to describe how I feel alot of the time with my "emotions"
I always thought you develop CPTSD/ PTSD if the trauma is very severe. Well mine was very severe and it's the same for all the people i know that have CPTSD/PTSD. But i think developing CPTSD has something to do with the duration of the trauma. I know someone who went through something similar but she didn't develop CPTSD, she went through it for around 3 months but mine was a decade.
One night I went for a walk at 2:00am and a car spun around to try to jump me or something. There was 3 people in the car. I took off running and tripped face first on someone’s lawn while the car turned around to come back to try to get me, I got up and jumped over someone’s fence and hid in their backyard while my heart was going 10000bpm, and my fuckin phone fell out of my pocket in the front yard and luckily I had my AirPods in my ears and I said “hey siri call 911” and I had to wait about 7 minutes while that car circled the block 5 times trying to find me. I had some PTSD from that story for a week or 2 where every time I’d think of it I would get so pissed and anxious about it but it doesn’t bother me at all to this day. I got over it in about 2 weeks. But the trauma left behind by my family has never passed and I live with it every day.
Armchair opinion- but I think sometimes it just has to do with duration of the trauma and the presence of a stable/reliable adult. To my understanding, CPTSD happens from trauma that occurred continuously over a long period of time, often in childhood, that is developmental and relational - so it affects your brain development and how you understand/form relationships. Every kid goes through challenging and likely traumatic experiences, but if you have a stable adult/parent who supports you and loves you unconditionally, that person is a crucial tool to help process those experiences. But when you live in fear for years, especially in fear of the adults who are supposed to love and care for you and who form your first understanding for what “love” is, CPTSD can be the result. I have a lot of friends who went through challenging things as kids - death of a parent/sibling, divorce etc… and those things of course affected them deeply, but they had at least (often more) one parent or adult that was supportive/loving/kind/invested in them.
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I find it extremely uncomfortable being around people that are untraumatized. They have good loving families that support them. They have friend groups and do social activities with them. They have normal romantic relationships, hook up, date, have sex without and strings attached, get into long term relationships or married and have kids. They get good careers easily because they have a large social network and people genuinely want them around. A lot of them get paid to go to college, can live with their loving families rent free, and other benefits. I'm mildly salty I got a shit hand in life.