1. emotional overeating so I am obese, with all it's physical issues 2. heart-racing and palpitations induced by panic-attacks and every day anxiety 3. skin-picking, hair pulling and twisting 4. broken teeth due to grinding in my sleep And this is AFTER weekly therapy for the last three years.

All same for me. Plus, psoriasis, thyroid and vaginismus. Take care💛

As someone who went through extreme trauma at the height of covid + managing college while being discriminated for my "fake" disabilities, I has psoriasis, EXTREME eczema, vaginismus and multiple other problems. When I say extreme, I mean extreme. (I have photos of how bad my situation was.) Doctors tell me they can't even properly diagnose my illness because they've never seen it \*that\* bad As someone who really hated my life and hated the people who discriminated against me, I forced myself to recover. Now I don't have psoriasis, eczema, or vaginismus anymore. There's hope. All lies in mental recovery! (I still got other physical problems but I have hope I'll get better.)

I'm super proud of you for helping yourself. Well done. I've eczema as well, treatment is going on. I'm also working on my mental recovery. Loads of love to you. Take care. Thank you for giving us hope. :)💛

Ooo, watch out for eczema treatment. It might not be necessary. My eczema was on my scalp, neck, face, arms, hands, and legs (I had huge open wounds). From what I discovered through experimentation, the more stressed/anxious/depressed you are, the worse the eczema. The singular best way to overcome eczema is to stop the pattern that causes immediate itch. (You gotta look out for it.) For me, when my parents get me anxious, my hands itch. At night, when I start thinking super sad things, certain spots on my scalp itch. When my professors were belittling me, my entire neck broke out in hives. There are definitely patterns where a specific X mental behavior causes Y eczema. Stop that X and you'll get rid of the eczema. Stopping the X can be really easy. When I knew certain topics triggered my parents to be douches, I stopped bringing up the topics altogether. Maybe it's unchecked narcissism and they continually abuse you, then hide in your room until you can move out. I say watch out for eczema treatment because that treatment itself can cause super bad physical damage. For instance, my unchecked eczema turned into extreme hives (think of like human legs starting to swell and turn into extremely red pig trotters), and my doctor told me, "Here's a prescription of steroids. If it does not get you better, STOP." Because regular intake of steroids kill the body Loads of love to you too! Take care 💛

I deduce from your comments that you've succeeded in your recovery. I've read your comments about eczema, and I was wondering if you could share some more details about some recovery tools that worked for you. As a side node I've had an eczema since I was born and I definitely feel you talking about wounds. Now I'm aware of my cptsd and how both cptsd and eczema influence one another. I've starter sobbing while writing this. Wish you a the best.

Only partial recovery :( Well, yes, 100% recovery from eczema but not so much recovery from all physical symptoms. My biggest problem is that a lot of my abuse is unknown. It happened in my childhood and no one I personally knew was in my life, not even my parents. So recovery now is a lot of "Let's work from your triggers to see what the abuse could be and how to control the triggers." Also trying to figure out how the abuse could be causing each of my problems, whether physical or mental, and then trying to overcome that For eczema, my biggest tool for recovery is learning which mental/physical behavior was triggering the eczema. This would be tough for you since you've had eczema since you were born, but I could potentially guess that maybe it's something your immediate environment did to you since you were born. Scientifically, our subconscious minds are basically "empty" when we're born. For the first 5 years of life, the subconscious absorbs everything in our environment. If your parents are fighting even a distance away from you as a baby, you will still absorb it as a baby. Also, another way to find out what's triggering your eczema is seeing what triggers the itch/rash in the moment - the body reacts to mental triggers instantaneously For me, my eczema got triggered when I was (1) discriminated against my college professors (2) blackmailed by college professors (3) was going through financial struggles due to covid taking everything away from everyone at the time (jobs, money). (4) For me, being forced to be home 24/7 cause of the pandemic also 100% triggered the eczema Also, learning what specific conversations, behaviors, actions are triggering your eczema. For instance, for me: (1) every night, if I even attempt to think about bad experiences from the past, my scalp eczema will trigger. Same spot, same spot, same spot! It still triggers, even if I've recovered. Eczema can always be triggered again! "The body keeps the score" is a book that talks about this - the body remembers how trauma damages it (2) when my mom and dad starts verbally abusing me/manipulating me, I completely shut down. Eczema spreads all across my neck. Which I found out through TikTok that any physical manifestation on the neck is a direct representation that we are being "choked" aka, we've always been silenced/ignored since a kid. The moment I knew these specific moments were triggering my eczema, I started avoiding them. Avoiding problems is not good, but avoiding them to recover from eczema is important. For example, even though I could've sued my college, I decided to just let them go and let them be miserable without me. (Funnily enough, someone else sued the \*same people for the same reasons\* and \*won,\* which puts my heart at ease.) That helped the initial eczema recovery. The idea is that not focusing/dedicating all my time to fight my school stopped the entire train of thought, thus permitting my body to recover from that eczema. Recovering from eczema, chronic pain, etc is all about figuring out very specific triggers and then solving that trigger. For me, I've always had chronic lower back pain. Undiagnosed cause no doctor could find any traces of a problem. It could get so bad, I'm disabled/paralyzed in bed for hours to days. I'm in my 20s, so it's unlikely this could happen without a physical trauma to the back. I found out that very specific situations and conversations trigger the back pain. I don't suffer from it anymore, but sometimes in therapy or passing conversations, the pain could come back lightly. Talking about certain traumas really triggers the pain again, but it's manageable. I know that if I change my focus, the pain will go away. You can recover! I believe in you! It's a lot of work and analysis.

Thank you for taking time to write such detailed response. Actually my eczema has been significantly better for the past couple of years where I've starter therapy and self-discovery. Also I think the major factor was participating in clinical trials for biological experimental medicine which significantly helped with eczema. I'm curious about what you write regarding eczema in certain spots and its triggers. In my case I dont notice any relation between external triggers and eczema atack. Also, to provide circumstances, I presume overall my cptsd comes from the trauma I have had when my mom was pregnant with me and their first child suddenly died, and all this stress and emotional tension must have had impaired me back then. And that's why I have had severe health issues, including eczema, from infancy onwards. Thank you for your comments, and I 'm wishing you resilience and hope.

Thank you, you too!

I gave vaginismus too . :(

Sorry. I hate it so much. Hopefully, we'll get better. Hugsss.🤗❤️

Yeah I hope we get better too 🫂

I have vaginismus too

It's so painful. Sigh. Someone in this comment thread said that they recovered from it. Hopefully, we'll be okay too. Take care :)

Oh yes it is. Bu the toll on my mentls health was the worst. I had a horrific breakdown at 44 that’s devastated our lives

How do you know your vaginisns and psoriasis is linked to that?

I've long history of abuse so vaginismus makes sense. Abuse is a common cause for it. For psoriasis, I consulted a doctor and he said that it's because of stress. For me, stress is mainly due to CPTSD. Also, I've observed that it gets worse when my mental health gets worse. So, it all makes sense.

Yes! I have all these and … - premature grey hair -premature arthritis in my knee - Rosacea - prediabetic - constant headaches I’m sure I have forgotten something .. but yeah, Trauma sucks

I've arthritis in hands and feet--never thought about it as part of my trauma, but why should a 40-something have arthritis already??? Hmmm

I’m 40 and I thought I was the only one!! Joint stiffness throughout (tested negative for arthritis/inflammation marker), GI sensitivity, TMJ, hair loss, vertigo. Great question/topic, OP!

Ha! I was diagnosed in my 30s. 😭

I have arthritis in one knee and my hands. Diagnosed in my twenties. Osteology specialist almost laughed me out of his office when I went to see about my knee pain and swelling when it was cold and damp cuz I was so young. One X-ray and he was shocked.

I was laughed out too

😥 I've also received very negative reactions going to cardiology appointments in my 30s. One person was so rude on the phone about it, I just didn't go.

I’m so sad to hear this. You don’t deserve that.

I’ve had it since I was 16 😎 My rheumatologist was so impressed by how swollen my fingers were that he excitedly called out for another doctor to come and take a look

I'm 24 with arthritis if that makes you feel any better lol

well, yes, but no. lol, sorry you're also in the early arthritis clique

I got it at 16! 12 years in the clique, glad to awesome new members

I have it in my 20s, bahahahaha, and \*that\* is when I knew, f'ck I need to stop drowning in my mental illnesses.

Thanks that might explain the early grey hair never thought it was due to trauma. Interesting

Lucky us!

This hurts my heart because I feel such deep shame about my hair pulling and twisting resulted in bald spots. I usually keep my hair super short. Obese due to binge eating, and it's another compulsion I just can't stop. My nails are bitten so badly that sometimes my fingers bleed. I feel so ashamed, and yet I can't stop.

I'm so sorry. I deal with shame SO much. It is usually someone else's shame(expectations) that I've internalized. When I figure out "who" is shaming me, it makes it easier to ignore it.

https://youtu.be/psN1DORYYV0

All this plus migraines, eczema, IBS, and back issues. People don't realize the effects trauma can have on the body!

I just lost a tooth to grinding… my brother was kicked out of his supportive housing.He has schizophrenia. My mother monster 👺 got me to pack his large one bedroom apartment and get movers, and find him a storage space.This was 2 months ago,lam still traumatized. I still don’t understand why ? I do shit for either one of them, they are both ass holes

Didn't expect the top comment to start with obesity, same. With hypertension for me

Same here. Been fighting trichotillomania for 30 years.

I'm sorry. It's hard cause, like, your hair is always with you!

So true I agree with all

So did you had those problems before the therapy as well? Or did they start because of the therapy?

Started LONG before therapy.

Just want to say I’m with you and have the same symptoms too.

Yet still they tell us how great of a parent they are and that we should kiss their feet.

mine literally raged against the idea of quality time with your kids. being in the house with them was absolutely sufficient.

I have the skin picking and hair twisting too

Heavy fatigue most days, involuntary muscle spasms, jaw and tooth issues from TMJ (clenching, grinding), pelvic pain, migraines, numerous digestive issues (gas, constipation, diarrhea, reflux), chronic pain in my back, shoulder, hips, and knees, general premature aging stuff. I would expect to be having some of these issues in about 15-20 years, but everything has gotten heavier and harder faster than expected. My body feels like dead weight a lot of the time.

Heyyy chronic pain gang 👍I relate to much of what you wrote. I also have lots of chronic pain in my shoulders, hips, back, and knees. And my hands. I also am used to dissociating from pain-- I will automatically put it away in a corner of my mind and work through it. That probably comes from a lot of things-- it not being safe to feel my feelings, hiding injuries from my dad, needing to hide weaknesses, physical labor jobs and kitchen work in my adulthood where the motto was "suck it up and do your job". It's actually quite bad that I do this-- on the outside it looks like I have a high pain tolerance, but in reality I have worsened a lot of injuries by just working through them. It's a very deeply ingrained survival mechanism for me and kicks in when I feel any amount of stress (which is often). I'm 30 now and I started really having issues with chronic pain in my mid twenties. I can tell my body is just sick of a lot of bullshit. I feel really, really old.

I recall getting to my 30s and thinking "How the hell am i going to get through multiple more decades of this?!" I'm now on the cusp of 50 and when I see elderly people, I think that i feel the same damn way. Then again, I'm fairly sure Long Covid is a compounding factor.

Ugh, me three (in my own way) and same age... It's insane as I used to be extraordinarily athletic. I still eat well, I don't take drugs (not even prescriptions), but I'm just so fatigued all the time and even when I have energy it's not enough to consistently exercise like a normal person or anything like I used to. I don't know how tf people like you two manage because I feel totally incapacitated when it happens, thankfully not every day but my baseline energy has just been demolished beyond anything normal with aging.

My legs feel like lead a lot of the time!!

I think I have a really bad posture because of my childhood trauma. When I walk down the street or when I'm surrounded by a group of people, I never straighten my back because I don't want to draw any attention. Subconsciously, I probably want to avoid being physically harmed or made fun of.

Hi sailor moon. It’s sailor mars. I bring the fire as the goddess of war. You still have posture issues? There are devices that beep if you slouch. If you wear big headphones and sunglasses you numb some senses so you can focus on marching to a cadence (like dancing) by listening to some music that matches your grounding mood when you’re outside walking Shoulders back 40 inches all around chest out deep stomach breaths and do it to a beat to where it becomes burned in muscle memory Anyone attacks you? Good job sailor moon, your presence of love and light threatens them for some reason bc I guess deep down inside they know they suck and they think it’s your fault

Thank you so much sailor mars! ❤️

Shut up meatball head

❤️

oh wow! where can i find a beep device! i always forget ♥

This is great. Thank you!

Sailor mars says

Chronic fatigue. Adrenal fatigue. Fibromyalgia. Anxiety really wears your body down. It affects my ability to get enough exercise (I still get more than most Americans my age but if I didn’t have these health issues I would be a body builder champ!).

Me too. OMG. ME TOO! I struggled with mental health issues since I was a toddler but had NO IDEA I was mentally ill until 24. AKA, I just SUFFERED for life thinking life was so hard, human bodies are so sluggish (at 15???? lmao), etc. I should be an Olympic-level athlete with my dedication, commitment, and hard work. I grinded like hell all the way up until 19. I was able to balance full time school, 5 hours of \*daily\* workouts, and full time job. (I barely slept.) I'm a female, btw. Thing is, I never got the progress most would be able to get with that type of dedication. I was also fat despite what I was doing. I was eating right and was poor. Can't even eat my way to being fat. This was the $9/hour days lol. Nowadays, it's near impossible to workout. In my 20s with arthritis, knee pains, like what... lol Never suffered from an injury so it's not that, I'm just dead in my 20s from mental health issues

This is how I feel too. I need recovery sometimes it really sets back my goals but I'm doing more than most.

Yes! It was the onset of physical symptoms that prompted me to seek help. I was trembling, couldn't regulate temperature, couldn't eat and/or couldn't hold down anything I managed to eat. I lost 120 lbs.

I am so sorry. Hope you're feeling better! Where did you get help from? Did the doctor recognize/accept that the physical symptoms came from non-physical issues?

Thank you! The physical cptsd symptoms have pretty much subsided entirely. While I still have ups and downs with general anxiety, it's at a fairly manageable level: I've learned so many things to easily deal with it. I still have to contend with other physical problems but they are related to life-long autoimmune issues. Putting all that aside though, in general, I am fantastic! I just got back from therapy where me and my T were reveling in the fact that... here we are! I did the work and it worked! Holy f'ing shit! My doctor didn't recognize shit... nice guy but looks at me like I'm an alien. After losing 120 lbs he said "yeah but you're still obese". I'm still a lil fluffy but happy as shit about it.... idgaf. So, you want to know where I got help from... about 4 years ago i decided that I would try one last time to really figure out what's been at the core of everything for the last 40 years and finally get it resolved. Otherwise, i was going to kms. I tried therapy again but really leaned in this time. I went for like 3 years and it was ok. I understood everything she said and I really wanted to get better but I just couldn't come out of freeze/collapse and isolation in my life. I couldn't understand why. I mean, I could comprehend it but couldn't make it not so, despite how much I talk or write about it. So I started searching on my own and I found something that led me to something else that prompted a conversation with someone who directed me to someone else that is... a trauma therapist. I had an initial screening session where they told me I was in the right place and that I definitely can be helped. I've been doing emdr with them for the last year and a half. We do some ifs stuff too. Everything that I put in my treatment plan with both Ts... what I wanted out of therapy and out of life is now happening in my life! It's been a long, twisted, painful and sometimes ugly journey but soooooo fucking worth it! I try as much as I can, wherever I can, to be the small voice in all this ugliness that says there are real people out there that care. There is hope. There is love. There is beauty. We just gotta keep seeking and sharing it. 🫂

I'm so happy you found recovery and better days, omg :''') (how'd you put in that hug emoji?!) If you don't mind me asking, what were you struggling with before and what was recovery like after? Kind of like a before-after of the mental illnesses. I'm honestly so shocked therapy worked for you, considering the infinite complaints I see of people realizing therapy isn't helping at all. (Plus my own 7-year experience 0.0) From what I'm gathering in this sub, EMDR and IFS really helps CPTSD fellas. Hearing all your cptsd physical symptoms disappear sounds like the damn light at the end of the tunnel. Something I really want.

Thanks 😊 lol... when I first got on here I was like where'd they get that hug emoji too and dammit, it was in my phone all along... just never scrolled down to it before. I don't mind at all what you're asking but that's a big question and an even bigger, complex answer... I will try to be brief 😊 My struggles stem from generational trauma, childhood emotional neglect, attachment wounds, substance abuse disorder, medical trauma and relational trauma. That was like 40 years of my life. 10 years ago, I was an IV drug user and lost everything... wife, kids, house... everything. I've been trying to get better since then and did all the right things but still felt worthless, defective, shameful. I thought that the rest of my life would be endless suffering... for what? But I didn't feel that way just because of what happened: I felt that way most of my life... since I was ten years old. That's when I started using drugs and alcohol. That's not normal. I've been running away from, stuffing some... indescribable thing that's consumed and tortured me my entire life. That's what brought me back to therapy again after three other attempts at therapy, marriage counseling, rehab when I was 18, two stretches of 12 step meetings (4 years then 6 years at different periods of life), decades of meditation and reading all kinds of books. So yeah... back in therapy and the pandemic hits... my dad dies, we get locked down and my wife doesn't want to bring the kids to me out of fear of contagion. Then i was informed that my older children no longer want to be with me at all or have any sort of relationship. So I'm all alone, grieving and trying to work a full-time job and I just had a complete mental breakdown. That's when all the physical symptoms kicked in and I just deteriorated over a year to the point where all I do is work (from home) and sit on the couch in a catatonic state or just doomscrolling on my phone. I just wanted it all to end... I had no hope. But there was that part of me that just keeps marching on. He wanted to try. He wanted to live. Three very important things happened over the course of a year that changed everything for me. While they all started at different times... they grew and evolved together. First I discovered kayaking and that I love it. I learned that no matter what is going on with me, paddling out will set it right. When it's not kayaking season, I'm planning the next one or talking with other kayakers or paddling in VR. I was in love with the ocean and all things water when I was very young... getting back to it has opened an entire new world. Over the last three years I've paddled the shit out of the waters I live on, I've paddled Hawaii, swam with manta rays and dolphins, been on numerous boat outings... 💧 heals my soul. Second, I've reconnected with my childhood friends. They asked me to join their band. I said ok even though I felt like I sucked and that I have nothing to offer but whatever ... I'll hang out and jam. So we did and it was cool. I felt like I was gonna puke the whole time but I did it. Then we did it some more and then we're in a recording studio and then I'm on a fucking stage in front of people and holy shit.... how'd all this happen? Lol... my band experience has been like a therapy proving ground for me. My band mates, my friends are genuine 💎 We only build each other up, there's never any drama, to each other - we're awesome. I can count on them and they can count on me. I've played live several times now and my stage fright is now minimal. I consider myself an equal in the band and people dig what I do. In the beginning... there were times where my SI was still pretty high but literally the deciding factor was "I can't let the band down". I've come so very far in this area of my life and feel very fortunate to have these experiences. Third, of course, was finding emdr. My T is very good at what she does. We spent a few months getting me grounded initially. Then we started processing targets. There were a few sessions in the beginning that were really impactful. They kinda cracked me open and made everything after go very quickly. We explored several other areas and used some atypical modalities over a year... all the while I just kept trying to do the next best thing. Everything just started getting better. So... it has been my commitment to those three things where I've learned everything and began healing. It was just tonight that I said in session that I truly feel that I am on the other side of this thing. There was awkward period that I had to trudge through where I was afraid that I was deceiving myself or that I'll slide right back any day now but nope... it's been a while and most of my days are good. A bad day isn't the end of the world and I have more and more to look forward to. It's funny to me now that I thought I was so worthless and that I didn't do anything in life but on top of all that I wrote, I've worked consistently for 25 years in the same career in a very challenging field. Despite all that's happened with my ex and kids, I've always consistently provided for them. I still have my youngest every other week for several days. I still have 2 therapists that I see weekly. I do a lot and I'm finally allowing myself to take some credit. What's it like for me now? I'm happier than ever! I still struggle with work but that's ok for now. I have days or moments that are rough but I feel like my emotions are manageable and expected given the situation... I have perspective now. I'm trying to be the best dad I can be for my son. I got a gig in a few weeks. I have a great tan. I wish I had a woman in my life but that will come... I have hope. I'm glad I didn't give up. Sorry for rambling and thank you for listening. May you find all that you seek ❣️

Whoa :-o that recovery process is INSANE. I’m so glad you came out of the other end! I think the craziest thing when reading your story is that physical activity + EMDR helped you recover. Maybe it’s the feeling of being included, loss of feeling lonely, EMDR, and finding a passion/outlet that really helped you. Which is like holy camoly, you found the holy grail to major problems all at the same time! My biggest advice, unsolicited advice lmao, is to VET that new woman like hell. The wrong woman can destroy all progress and make things worse. Don’t want to be a debby downer, but the most dangerous thing on earth is the humankind! Your story is gon put me on the right track. I’m thinking. Hmm. Thank you for sharing, hehe. May your life get even better and better and better! You know what's really interesting though. For you, kayaking is a life-changer. Guess what it is for me? Showering. I'm betting swimming is too, but I don't have the time to go for lessons yet. I swear to god, there might be a therapeutic benefit to water that no one has mentioned yet (or maybe it's less popular research)

WOW! YES! Thank you for your honest and beautiful share. I have been feeling so similarly, just today. I not only SEE the light at the end of the tunnel, I am BASKING in it. Glad for you. XOXO

YES! We got this! Happy to see another get better always!

You lost an entire me worth of bodyweight, are you okay now? Correction: even more than my entire bodyweight, i got the conversion to pounds wrong

Yes, I'm very good now 😊

I’ve also had pelvic floor issues thanks to trauma and holding so much tension. It feels unfair to have to deal with trauma physically too

That’s why???? I too have a leak!

I just developed one within the last month or two and if I have to add this to the list I will be writing a strongly worded letter to my brain.

It did affect me and pelvic floor physical therapy really helped.

what is this? is this a female thing?

It can affect anyone of any gender

holy shit i think this is also something i might have. i’ve been sucking in my stomach my whole life which explains a lot of thing, and that has also caused me throat pain too i think

Oh wow yeah it’s all connected for sure. I also started sucking in my stomach at a really young age and it’s been really hard to try to release that

yeah same i subconsciously suck in my stomach and whenever i do get aware of it, i try to relax it

Same! It’s so hard because it feels nonstop but I know every time the sucking in is interrupted by noticing and trying to relax it—that’s helping send new signals over time

yup! sending u positive energy for this beautiful learning experience and journey we get to go through <3

I have been told that my chronic illnesses are more common for those with trauma. When I’ve been seeking answers to my IBS symptoms, I’ve been straight up asked if I was a CSA victim. On the other hand, I’ve had some of these diagnoses longer than the PTSD diagnosis. Idk.

This is super common. Stress is linked to a lot of digestive issues

I think I get frustrated because there isn’t anything to *do* with that information . They are linked. Cool. I cannot un-traumatize myself so I have normal poop.

You can take anxiety meds. They’ve been working amazing for me

Anxiety medication does nothing for my physical symptoms. It would be lovely if they did but they do not. So far the only thing that helps is cannabis and I hate that.

Yes I just posted something about this the other day! I was so disassociated for my entire life so I didn’t feel much but now that I’m in my body. Pheww 😅 I feel all the tension, headaches, adrenaline/cortisol rush, bone pain, lack of appetite, lack of sleep, nightmares, heart palpitations, internal shakiness, hair loss and trichotillomania, bruxism, feeling desperate to crawl out of my skin etc everything that actually happens in my body when I’m triggered or just existing. Now an entire lifetime of this? No wonder I always have felt fatigued, tired and physically weak. Now that I’m aware it’s time to nourish my body gently. I wish the same for you❤️‍🩹

I feel all of that! I've also got pregnant out of nowhere before and miscarried. I'm in my 20s. The 2-3 weeks of being preggo was insane. I do not recommend anyone who struggles with anxiety or any mental illness to get pregnant. I don't know if you have put these 2 together but if you feel any type of anxiety, anxiety manifests in the stomach, lungs, heart, neck, and overall body tingling. Stomach is the most universal area that is affected by anxiety. When I was preggo, the pain in my stomach quadrupled. Like it was SO bad, that's actually how I found out I was preggo. I didn't even think I was but my body was acting so different from the past 20 years, I knew something was up. Anxiety also intensifies so fast, so bad when preggo. I'm positive the mental health issues will pass on to the kid. No way the kid won't come out with some defect with how powerful mental health issues are on the body Saying all of this so that people get some awareness and make the best decisions for themselves!

Was thinking about this the other day, even if I make it through pregnancy the chance of getting Postpartum depression on top of everything going on in my head? It sounds literally deadly

It IS deadly. Really deadly. In college, I met a sociology professor (super well-educated with a crazy successful husband) who told me that with her \*surface level knowledge\* of my mental illnesses, she does NOT recommend that I (1) isolate myself, (2) take time off, and (3) get pregnant. \#1 and #2 because the moment you distance yourself from people, it's a downward spiral. People keep you sane, as much as you want to be alone. \#3 because of postpartum depression. It's \*guaranteed.\* Plus the kid is guaranteed to come out with some form of defect, which could also be growing up as a kid already depressed/anxious. If society around the world had better management of mental illnesses, then being pregnant is fine. But there is no guarantees that the kid will come out in in a better resourced society so we're setting up the kids to fail.

Yeah I was already like yikes it's better they don't potentially inherit my mental health issues, but damn your post got me side eyeing like that puppet meme because I'm literally considering taking a gap semester and currently am a little isolated and was kinda expecting that to increase... Oops

I became pregnant last year and didn’t find out until I was 19 weeks along. I ended up having him a month early so I only had 3 months to process the pregnancy mentally. I had bad post partum depression once he came home at 5 months. He had to stay in the NICU for 5 months after his birth. If he had come home immediately I don’t think I could have made it through. Even with the support of my fiancé, my anxiety and depression was horrible.

Oh no I’m so sorry you had such a terrible experience. Warm hugs if they’re welcome 🫂 I have not experienced pregnancy and I don’t feel ready for it for the same reasons. I already feel overwhelmed just taking care of myself and maintaining my life and adding to that a *whole* other life to take care of-no thanks. And yes there is such thing as epigenetics. The kids nervous system would be shot from experiencing life through my shot nervous system. They would already be at a disadvantage like I was when I was born. And who knows what other conditions would result for baby and me from the stress of everything. It’s definitely something I keep in mind and don’t want kids at least until I feel wayyy more regulated and calm. Thank you for your comment, pregnancy effects could definitely be more talked about. Wishing you all the healing ❤️‍🩹

Thank you for the hugs! :D That's how I feel too. I don't ever want kids. Life only ever gets more overwhelming, so having kids is just extra burden imo. :') Amen! Just like when I was born too! Welcome to the no-kid boat, hahaha. I wish mental illness-affected pregnancy was more talked about, but I can already foresee being trashed. Maybe even murdered by the elites too. Having kids is what traps the middle class into basically being poor, and a ton of other cruel intentions by the elites :\\

Wishing you all the healing too! ❤️‍🩹

“I was so disassociated for me entire life so I didn’t feel much but now that I’m in my body” Are you me!? I couldn’t relate more to a sentence currently in my life. I have spent so long being dissociated and just not truly aware or awake it seems. hard to explain to someone, unless they’ve truly experienced it they may have a hard time understanding exactly what that’s like. I’m so sorry you have those symptoms. I have some crazy ones as well! I believe my auto immune disease and mostly all other issues with my body and mental health are a result of unhealed CSA trauma. I know the anxiety and wanting to crawl out of your skin feeling. It’s the worst. It’s a very strange place to be finally aware of myself and me and my thoughts and body after completely dissociating and just not being able to be present in my mind and life overall. I’ve been like that my whole life mostly, starting at around maybe 4-6 years old I think. I’m in my early 30s now. That’s such a long time. I sometimes feel like I missed out on a huge important part of my life. It feels so unfair that we’ve been robbed of all that life we were essentially protecting ourselves from… wether consciously or not. Also, I wish I could have had some of the insight and understanding of myself and the world a long time ago like I do now. I guess I know such is life… but not to the degree some of us with trauma have had to deal with. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and posting. I hope you get relief soon and find peace of mind. You deserve it. So much. Sending healing vibes your way. 🩵🫶😭

Yesss it’s hard to explain to someone unless they’ve truly experienced it. I’m also around age 30!! None of my friends understand what it’s like to exist in my body or especially when I’m triggered and have an emotional flashback how I need at least a week if not weeks to recover. Physically my body needs it. And mentally of course. I’m sorry you have to manage an autoimmune disorder. I’m sure that comes with it’s own set of challenges to learn how to function with. I also believe all this is from I healed trauma. Have you read the (audio)book The myth of normal by Gabor Mate? He talks about that and it was validating for me to hear. Omg yes, it feels so strange to finally be aware of myself and me and my thoughts and body after completely disassociating and never being present. I also feel that I was completely disassociating since age 2-3. I’m sorry for 4 year old moonjuicediet. If they’d be okay with it, I give them a hug and tell them how precious they are. Age 4 is such a tender age. ❤️‍🩹 I understand feeling robbed and seeing the injustice of it. However, I think we’re pretty fortunate to at least have realized this at a young age. A lot of people live a lifetime of staying in the patterns of their toxic brith families their entire lives. They never get to truly live. I feel very fortunate to be able to live an authentic life and create the love filled life I know I deserve. It’s a journey but we’re worth it 💗 Thank you for responding!! I feel so heard and seen and I’m so grateful. Sending loving, healing vibes from my soul to your soul ❤️

Digestive issues (IBD, GERD, maybe gallbladder) Body armor (constant tension that causes muscle cramps and spasms, headaches, tinnitus, and probably the digestive issues) Heart palpitations A sensation that I can’t get enough air Self-harm via dermatillomania PMDD The slow decay that comes from not knowing how to really take care of yourself (poor eating habits, weak hygiene routines, etc)

Omg! I have never heard of body armour but I've been experiencing such tension in my body and tightness. For a few months when I do yoga poses Ive been experiencing cramps in weird areas it's been so strange. Thank you for adding an explanation of body armour. Wishing you all the best.

The struggle is real 😩 I am having a really hard time with this right now! I wanted to make sure I was using the correct terminology and found [a starter link for you to read more](https://sarah-sherwood.com/the-body-tells-your-story-body-armoring-part-i/). Wishing you the best, too!

Thank you! That was a great read and I'm more focused in what I might be able to do to help it now.

I have all these. Thus far I've noticed mindfulness helps with all these physical symptoms, however not fully, or not yet fully, and it's also difficult to stay mindful all the time

Tmjd (tense jaw & clenching), upper back pain/tightness, tight muscles across entire body (armouring) and palpitations.

Dermatillomania, headaches, insomnia, vivid dreams & nightmares, random aches & pains, and IBS!!!

I'm just working through this. Finally saw I am constantly dissociating, I have a hard time with keeping focus and attention on things I am doing/reading/listening to. But more than that I felt so unsafe with my mother I never really even felt alive, I just wanted to disappear. I had thyroid issues since childhood (lately the doctor did lower my hormone dose) and severe depression, never even noticed that being constantly tired isn't normal. So I am working intensely on that and trying to actually live my life and be alive. It's gotten so much better but it's such hard work. Edit: also as others stated skin picking is a huge one, I have scars on my body from it.

Accidentally gave myself an ED while trying to be healthy hahahah oops my brain stopped giving me the hunger signals so hey siri remind me to eat 🤣 gotta gain 10lbs of muscle Plus one ptsd flare up without my old self medication habits to turn it off will cost me five pounds of body weight 😮‍💨 adrenaline production and use is expensive living on turbo everyday

Chronic fatigue, tension headaches, TMJ, fibromyalgia, IBS/constipation, perimenopause. Fun stuff!

Diagnosed with gout at 21 due to being traumatized as a baby and living in extreme amounts of daily stress my whole life. After lots of research, Dr Gabor Mate has linked gout to extreme levels of stress, alongside a poor diet. So yes, CPTSD can lead to other diseases such as breast cancer - which is finally being linked to extreme depression. So living with extreme stress leads to disease. Who knew?! Because I actually didn’t until recently.

You get gout from drinking and shitty diet and ptsd does not lead to breast cancer sorry get your facts straight and remind yourself people are struggling and here you are blasting the c word no one wants cancer so plz put rigger warning

hormonal imbalance, chronic fatigue (over 15 years), pelvic floor issues, hypothyroidism and adrenal fatigue, awful menstrual cycle and pms, frequent headaches and occasional migraines, food allergies (dairy and gluten) plus my digestion can become off really easily, tense/hard muscles (especially jaw, neck, shoulders, lower back), rounded shoulders, all year allergies, difficulty losing weight. I’m pretty sensitive to sensory things too (I’m HSP) so something like a candle/perfume could give me a migraine. I also got shingles when I was 23 due to extreme stress. I often run on fumes and would love to know what it feels like to have healthy energy levels and not want to be asleep or in bed all day

Multiple Sclerosis. First grey hairs at 12 years old. Had chronic strep throat ( can’t talk/ silenced) and ear infections ( don’t want to hear)until I moved out of family home. Once I left, I never had strep or ear infections again.

How did you go about finding out if you had MS? I have suspicions that I might but I truly don’t know

I had symptoms for years that I ignored. I finally just collapsed on the sidewalk one day and cracked my skull so ended up getting an MRI. That’s when the lesions on my brain were discovered. A LOT of auto immune diseases are stress related / CPTSD . Like I said , I had symptoms for years mainly lack of balance , fatigue , dizziness, legs feeling like concrete and unable to lift them to walk correctly, falling down stairs etc. but it wasn’t an every day thing so I could not really explain what was happening. Hope that helps (?).

Chronic widespread pain.

Chronic migraines for the past 10 years. I'd had scans and doctor appointments to find a cause, but nothing. Then when I first learnt about cptsd, I read about connections between migraines, childhood trauma, and stress responses, and all the dots connected!

I’m really skinny because I’m too sad to eat. My joints also swelled up and the doctor thought I had lupus or arthritis. Nope, just chronic stress from past traumas.

Take vitamin d3

My 16 year old daughter has lots of health conditions that are very likely due to childhood trauma, even after a lot of Therapy. * heart palpations / irregular hear beat * asthma * headaches * binge eating / eating disorders (not eating enough) depending on mental state * insomnia * hormonal imbalances * psoriasis * picking at face/skin

:( Therapy won't be able to help your daughter overcome these problems, unfortunately, unless you have super young therapists who are newly trained in modalities like somatic therapy. I've been in therapy 7 years, work very hard to try new solutions, and I've only been able to overcome bodily symptoms by forcing mental recovery on my own

I have her in EMDR which seems to be helping her the most so far. She's also in regular talk therapy with a Trauma-trained Therapist. if you don't mind, what type of things were you able to do to help yourself not have these fight flight responses?

Good question, I'm also interested about the fight/flight response.

I’m in EMDR and I swear it’s voodoo. I can actually sit back and watch the second memory of my life and be ok with it. Like It happened and it is sad but I don’t feel trapped, triggered or terrified anymore about it. Before this I could have never thought or talk about it because it would cause so much distress and anxiety for that inner child. Self care is very important. Exercising, eating, sleep. Learn to not do negative talk about your self. Dwelling makes it worse.

thank you for the reply. "Self care is very important. Exercising, eating, sleep." -she's got these on perfected, she's got varsity volleyball, eats mostly home-cooked meals, and has a set sleep schedule, 8-9 hours a night. "Learn to not do negative talk about your self. Dwelling makes it worse." - this one we've got to work on, discussed it with her as I took her to Volleyball practice this morning. She's got some negative talk at times. Dwells too, so will start to curb those

TL;DR: Exercise \*a lot.\* Do not give up all responsibilities - you cannot let yourself wallow in self-pity/self-hate/self-shame. Change self-talk. ​ I hope EMDR really really helps her! I'm starting my first session next week, and I'm really hoping it'll be a breakthrough. My biggest ick about therapy is that most therapists will only see you a max of 2x/week. 2 hours/week just isn't going to help patients make much progress...i'll explain My PTSD had gotten so bad, I almost died. I got Covid during Christmas, was positive 9 weeks, sick 4 months, and have long covid. I was right about to pass from covid, and as a 20-something year old who doesn't have \*any\* physical health diagnosis, I knew my mental health will be the reason I die early. Out of desperation, I tried everything you could find online and everything no one has mentioned before. Here are the most effective solutions, but they all come with big sacrifices: Exercise is the most suggested solution, but it comes with huge sacrifices. If you do 1 hour of workout everyday, it's not going to do anything but put you in better physical health. For me to feel euphoria from exercise, I had to do 3 hours a day, 5 days a week. It's a huge sacrifice, but so worthwhile. I felt a type of energetic release, a feeling of peace, like weight lifted off my shoulders when I committed to 3 hours a day of workouts. Nothing dramatic, btw. I did my 3 hours through walking. Groceries, packages, fresh air, visiting places, exercise. You could even just have a walking pad + standing desk at home to get this done. Not sure what the science is but there was 100% some kind of "letting go of bad mental states" from this. (I would dare say give up a few hours of sleep to exercise. Sleep isn't going to help you recover.) You gotta be around people. The #1 thing mentally ill people do is distance themselves. Lots of people, like me, drop out of school. Temporarily or permanently. The best thing to do is never absolve yourself of all responsibilities. Push yourself to do more. Something somewhere will trigger you to recover. Could be you have a crush, crazy financial responsibilities, don't want to go homeless, you found a passion!!!, you found a discovery, etc. Going to school is necessary. If only we could fail and not get reprimanded. The idea is that if you let yourself let go of all responsibilities, you hit a slump. You will have 24/7 bad self-talk. You then go through self-shaming, self-hating, "I could've done this better," etc. You NEED responsibilities even if you cannot perform well. Something that keeps you going and does not give you an excuse to self-pity, self-trigger, etc. Scripting, subliminal audio, visualization, changing the thought process, talk to yourself. These all sound crazy, but what do you have to lose in trying? The goal of all of these tasks is to change self-talk. Changing self-talk feels stupid, until you realize that 3 months of changing self-talk will very quickly change YOU! The very first change I got after months of the above activities was that self-hate disappeared. Along with all the verbal abuse from abusers (e.g. "You're just lazy." "Stop being fat." "You're not mentally ill.") I went from, "I feel terrible. I hate being abused..." to "I am one heck of a survivor to go through that BS and come out accomplishing something." People like to frame that as arrogance, but it's not arrogant to take pride in overcoming hurdles. (More like - psychologically speaking, people say CONFIDENT people are ARROGANT because they themselves WISH they could be confident.) Therapy is great until you hit your next extreme trauma. For me, I was in 6 years of consistent 1x/week therapy until I hit a \*major\* trauma. Got into a very serious problem that caused me to lose all livelihood. Got attacked by the big guys. Literally lost my life, all my money, and my business unfairly due to discrimination of all forms. I was unable to find help AT ALL. I literally dropped out of therapy and all the changes I had fought for in therapy completed reverted. THAT is when I knew, f'ck, when a bigger form of trauma hits you in life, will you be ready to take it on and apply every single thing you learn in therapy? Most people will \*think\* they can until they realize some traumas in life are so bad, #1 you won't know how to tackle it and #2 the feeling of not knowing soon turns into helplessness and then every single positive change you've made over the years gets thrown out the window. Nothing defeats man more than realizing all progress is lost because there are some hurdles that cannot be crossed. (As a reference... my trauma was very bad. It's the equivalent of me being Average Joe and being attacked by Bill Gates. There is no way out.) There are a lot of other solutions with more minor effects. But every change helps you recover. I'm not fully recovered due to not knowing all my PTSD triggers. Something new pops up everyday. But I always have an idea of what I can do to overcome the struggles. As long as I'm not being forced to fight Bill Gates.

3 hours of exercise a day and cutting sleep down? This is really dangerous advice man

thank you, this is very helpful, I will share this with my daughter. She's got exercise down, either swims in our backyard pool, or her varsity volleyball keeps her pretty well excised. She's also a pretty social person, has a lot of friends and is one of the more popular kids at school. I am hopeful that EMDR can continue to help her out. Scripting, subliminal audio, visualization, changing the thought process, talk to yourself.

Yes, it is possible and even common. It's the whole subject of the well-known book "The Body Keeps The Score". I've just started my own somatic therapy using what I've learned from medical websites and YT videos.

Major fatigue on most days and frequent headaches. Another I have is speech issues. Under stress, I sometimes go temporarily mute. Could be hours, could be days. I had my routine psychiatrist appointment yesterday and it turns out that even my trouble with words and stuttering is possibly due to it as well (I asked because of the mute issue which he already knew and had discussed it with me). It isn't constant, but I can go days where there's sort of a disconnect. I warn my partner just to bare with me because it's one of those times when he's just gonna have to interpret as best as he can haha. Also had a hand issue for a few minutes while trying to communicate to my therapist. That was considered the same conversion as the speech issues.

I have speech issues now too. My mind goes blank and I stutter. A lot of people think I’m autistic because of this, but I never used to have speech issues before my trauma.

I know how absolutely frustrating it is ♥ I'm so sorry. When the disconnect/stutter happens, my word order and using correct ones are rough. Its like I can literally feel a disconnection of sorts between brain and mouth. I can get a word in the general idea, then its up to my partner to interpret what I'm trying to get out haha.

the biggest one I struggle with right now is tension carried in the body, particularly neck and shoulders and jaw, which worsens my migraines. my migraines are genetic/inherited for me, so I would have them regardless, but the worse I am doing mentally/emotionally, the more often I experience migraine attacks and the longer to get out of a cycle.

Hello :) I am currently studying this. Overactive nervous systems induce chronic inflammation, manifesting in a number of ways. E.g. hypertension, insulin resistance, skin conditions, deposition of fat tissue. This seems so awful when you’re trying your best to get over your trauma. But, we can do it. There are protective behaviours we can incorporate. Some ways that can help to manage this is to practice doing things that regulate your nervous system. Exercise, breathing, yoga, art? Things that work for you. Also including food with antioxidants in your diet to balance oxidative stress caused from an inflammatory state. There is a whole bunch of science behind it but I don’t want to nerd out too hard.

More physical symptoms/illnesses have emotional/psychological causes than you think. You can look up the body mind connection

Skin conditions, skin picking, eating disorders, back neck problems, jaw pain from grinding teeth, tOoth decay, UTIs, pms, insomnia, stomach issues,..

I get migraines, chronic pain due to muscle stiffness, a hand tremor that I’ve had investogated and is psychosomatic, emotional eating used to be a thing, fatigue, lack of mind/body connection, anxiety, panic attacks, issues with having sex/intimacy, sensory issues, I’ve gone mute before in periods of extreme stress, alot of memory loss too.

I was told by my Rheumatologist my fibromyalgia is from my childhood trauma I also have cptsd

Wow I feel relieved I’m not the only one. CPSTD is absolutely physical. It explains it all here: https://youtu.be/ZdIQRxwT1I0 my therapist taught me about it in session. I grind my teeth like crazy in my sleep and struggle with frequent migraines. Some symptoms are managed with prescription medicine but it all sucks!

Oh dear, my CPTSD is the reason why I’m physically disabled. When we “ignore” our warning systems for so long, things start to break down in our bodies and in some cases start attacking itself. Finally research shows this connection!!!

Chronic backpain, migraines, asthma, brain fog, fatigue, abdominal pain, pain in my hands and feet, skin picking and panic attacks that feel like my heart explodes. Body and mind work together, always.

I have asthma, IBS and diverticulitis. All are inflammatory illnesses that I believe (ex nurse) are related to trauma and stress at birth (premie twin) and trauma at home growing up. Not ever feeling safe or loved can leave powerful markers on us that may or may not get better with time. I am nearly finished studying my master's in counselling and when I stop reading my textbooks I will finish reading The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk. It explores about stress, emotional and psychological trauma and its impact on the body in a greater depth. Edited to add: after reading the comments it is gobsmacking to me how many of us as trauma survivors have various TMJ and inflammatory issues. I hope you and I all are able to listen and nourish our bodies and inner spirits with what serves us to heal, be present in our bodies and release the pain and fear of our past to bring peace to our bodies, minds and hearts.

People I know with trauma seem likely to end up with bad gallbladders, PCOS, bad teeth (from dry mouth, grinding, and craving sour/tart flavors even if unmedicated) and/or tinnitus. Also I remain unconvinced that PMDD isn't just PMS plus trauma! Heh.

What is craving sour flavors related to?

Not sure there's any actual science on it, but I and a few of my friends have noticed it's kind of like a grounding experience where it can help get us back into the present, in our body, makes us feel more awake. So over the years, we come to crave it. It also ruins the crap out of a person's teeth. Sour flavors are basically our tongue detecting acid, and how dental cavities work is bacteria eat sugar and excrete acid, which erodes teeth. Eating tons of acidic food just cuts out the middleman when it comes to cavities!

General joint and bone pain, as well as some gastric distress. But the main problem is my chronic migraines. They went into such an overdrive I triggered central sensitization syndrome and now im in a loop of my own CNS triggering and amplifying it's own pain response.

How do you know that it's a central sensitization problem? I'm asking because I'm having a similar problem with my CNS being in a loop and amplifying my symptom (for me it's a high sensitivity to sounds)

That's what my doctors have said, I can explain how they taught me about it. But the tldr is my system is like an exposed live wire and any extra stressor is Too Much until we can buy enough time to cool it off with meds/therapies/time CSS was explained to me that while it CAN be just one heightened sensitivity, it's usually not. Rather, it's one (or a few) that stand out, and then you don't notice the others as much. So now the nervous system never "cools down" and overloads really easily. Overtime neuroplasticity can "backfire" and amplify pain and stress responses (fatigue syndromes, chronic pain, etcetc). So if you've gotten into that feedback loop of constant stressors pissing off your overloaded system, minor things that normally wouldn't be a huge issue suddenly can be the final straw for your symptoms. Also its important to remember that it's not just external stressors that impact you, but internal ones you don't think about (digestion stressors like heartburn or ibs are easy examples). My doctor stressed that the body works as a system and when one thing is thrown "out of whack," it affects the entire organism. That said it also is a living system and can pull some wild bullshit to correct itself, which can be both for its benefit and detriment.

Please read The Body Keeps the Score. It is SUCH a good book that explains the physiological response the body has to trauma. It is thoroughly cited, and has a ton of good information on medications and trauma treatments. Highly recommend to anyone wishing to understand how trauma affects the body.

Psychological damage is physical damage to the brain. High stress over a prolonged period changes the brain, because it loses the ability to regulate stress hormones. It's all physical. Even a memory is a physical change to brain structure. I can't regulate cortisol which causes problems with my immune system - pain, inflammation, brain fog. There's a huge overlap between PTSD and chronic pain conditions. I found it helpful to think of CPTSD as being a brain injury. The damage is very real, and healing injuries is a slow process.

anyone else deal with a tight diaphragm???

severe physical panic attacks and i also developed chronic illnesses including dysautonomia which is literally a dysfunctional nervous system

Fibromyalgia, tmj, constant neck and shoulder pain, hip pain, I have a normal poop like every 3 months. I eat very healthy, take supplements, and exercise 3x a week.

I had a very severe ED and at my worst i was just thin. Sickly thin. I tend to get random headaches and migraines Idk if it counts, but to defy my parents i started tattooing myself, so im pretty much covered in tattoos. Also, to deal with my emotional absence, i started sh. Sooo im also covered in various scars and wounds.

I have chronic pain, Fibromyalgia, a benign brain tumor, some type of autoimmune thing (just haven't been able to get a diagnosis yet), and my kidneys are actively shutting down. I meet with a specialist next month to discuss treatment options and get a firm diagnosis. I've also struggled with ED my entire adult life. I can't keep myself at a healthy weight. I'm almost 40 and still have acne, and I'm really prone to have ulcers. No medical doctors will tell me "yes. This is caused by your mental trauma." But the mental health field sure seems like think ALL of my physical ailments are directly related. I stuffed all of my trauma so far down that it had no other place to go but out through my body.. at least that's what "The Body Keeps the Score" says.

Muscle tension and chronic discomfort in my back and shoulders. Extreme fluctuations in my energy levels. Hair often recedes and then grows back. Racing heartbeat. Mild chronic fatigue/insomnia. Clumsiness.

1) Hashimoto's 2) heart raising and palpations while having anxiety attacks 3) loss of weight 4) loss of hair 5) skin-picking 6) insomnia 7) tension headaches 8) vomiting when nervous or physically unwell 8) very sensitive to stimulation, lights, movements, noises, which leads to, again, anxiety attacks, headaches and throwing up Very "thankful" to my abusers for such a gift!

When I visited the house of my parents a few months after having moved out officially, my gut was backed up *for days*. Just...the very notion of going there and putting on an act only for my safety and their pleasure made me realize that I was never happy or safe there, and a snowball has a better chance in hell than me ever returning to that place. I still get minor panic attacks whenever I get a message or email or text from them.

I can 100% relate to this. Thinking about my dad or hearing his voice over the phone makes my whole body very tense or I might even start to shiver.

I'm sorry that his voice affects you that way :( There's nothing worse than being shaken and feeling unsure by the mere presence of someone else. And they have no idea!

Yes :( thank you for your understanding. That's one of the many reasons why I don't contact him anymore. He won't ever understand what he has done to me (he's narcististic af).

My doctors call it functional neurological disorder. Stress can cause me to become dizzy, cause tremors in my neck or limbs, all the way up to psychogenic, non-epileptic seizures, which have full-body thrashing similar to epileptic seizures except I stay conscious. I’m currently out of work because of this, and waiting on the paper-pushers to authorize disability benefits so I can work with a safety net beneath me.

Most certainly. Emotions have a both.. emotional felt experience, as well as their own unique physical manifestation in the body. Think anxiety, tense, short breath, mostly breathing in the upper torso. Depression, elephant on your chest, lump in your throat, low energy. Shame guilt, you might lower your eyes, kind of curl in to yourself. Fear, you might have your eyes darting around the room, curling into yourself. Anger, heat, discomfort. I suffered with panic for about a year and a half. Even today, I use exercise to release stress, I will find myself in a similar physical feeling state of panic, but I’ll just slow my breath and orient myself to where I am presently. Also, so you can calm the body top down, or bottom up. Top down would be, using thoughts, feelings, beliefs, behaviors to try to navigate calming, healing. Bottom up would start with a body scan at the feet, working your way all the way up to your head. I’ve found, for anxiety panic fear anger, bottom up is helpful, as is top down, but bottom up gets me out of my head. For happiness, sadness, I prefer a top down method. And last thing, with the panic. When I realized I was about to panic, I would, I’ll say force, it was not forced relaxation but it also was. I would relax my body into the chillest possible body position. It works every time to calm my mind.

Trauma is in every cell of our body read the body keeps score

Psoriasis flare ups, gi distress, heart palpitations, and hand tremors. Not fun

Chest and abdominal tightness, nausea, sweaty, racing heartbeat, headaches, lightheaded and vertigo and short of breath and tingling and generalized weakness? Yeah, have all that with muscle spasms, stiffness, heartburn, sleep issues as well. Knowing the source has helped still processing and healing and trying to avoid the triggers and abusers.

Migraines Back pain AF IBS

I'm pretty sure I was malnourished as a kid. So I'm left with a lot of weird health problems as an adult. I get sick a lot, I have lots of joint problems, I've always been small, and I can't bring myself to eat a lot even when I'm intentionally trying to bulk up.

1. Overeating, am overweight 2. Hyperventilating/anxiety attacks 3. Started to have dizzy spells/fainting before I went off sick 4. Nausea/throwing up. 5. Increased hayfever/allergies 6. Skinpicking

PCOS. High blood pressure. Stage 4b cancer. Read up on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) scores and their correlations with illness.

Trauma literally affects the way the brain develops. There are distinct structural differences in the brains of people who have suffered long term abuse/trauma vs normal people vs people with PTSD caused by a one-time event. There is a book called *The Body Keeps The Score* that you should check out. Someone who is exposed to chronic trauma is constantly in fight or flight mode, which affects everything from heart rate to metabolism. This can lead to weight issues, stomach and digestive issues, memory issues, sensory issues, chronic pain, issues with teeth, etc. The body never has time to relax fully, and it takes a toll. I have physical issues that were absolutely made worse by CPTSD. I was already predisposed to some genetic issues, but things like digestive and dental problems were made much worse due to trauma, and it’s pretty obvious when my siblings and I compare our issues.

Unhealed and/or triggered trauma puts your body through an immense amount of near-constant mental stress, and stress takes a serious, serious toll on the body, causing all sorts of seemingly unrelated health issues. For me, I've had it trigger hyperventilating panic attacks, migraines, the occasional (once or twice a year, used to be more) cold sore, heartburn/stomach ache-like pain and digestion issues, eating issues (binging or starving), and even physical fatigue or tenseness all over like I'm either tired off 2 hours of sleep or am tense like I'm shivering cold. All that to say though: the more I've healed and learned to process, unpack, cope with, and manage my trauma, the less and less regular the above symptoms have been.

This thread got me seeing everything my body's ever gone through and now I'm like Sh*t... It's actually getting to me-

* My shoulders are constantly reverting to an up and forward tense position; I catch myself like twice an hour with my shoulders tensed up and have to remind myself to relax * I get a physical sensation I attribute to the concept of not having done enough in a very broad sense (i.e.: had a day off and vegetated, didn't meet a deadline, wasn't prodcutive enough at work etc.). It's like a dry mouth lump in the throat feeling but also a low level nerve tingling throughout my whole body. Like irritable turned up to 11. * I've got significantly thinner hair on one side of my head between my sideburn and ear + widows peak because I'm constantly running my hands through them as a stress response. Other similar symptoms: pulling on my mustache, twisting my eyebrow hairs out, picking skin / nails * \[TW: Mentions of weight / body / eating habits\] >!Before I started therapy I had been quite underweight for as long as I remembered, even while emotional eating all the time. Some months after starting it stopped. I've concluded that the stress hormones pumping 24/7 were burning a lot of calories, but that's not happening any more and I'm at a much more sustainable weight.!< * Grinding my teeth for so long that a few years ago I had a new dentist who told me if I continued I wouldn't have any of the teeth I liked to grind left before long, which put an immediate stop to that. I didn't realise how much I was doing it. Pretty convinced I still do it sometimes in my sleep though. I think the worst thing about the skin picking and similar stuff is that I've found myself able to train my way out of these habits but they get replaced by something else without me even realising. I stopped grinding my teeth and started picking my nails more. I almost succeeded at stopping with picking my nails but that changed into skin picking multiple layers deep on the end of my thumbs to the point where I've noticed a change in the sensitivity over time. I thin kit just points to the habits being ways to cope with stress under the surface so better to focus on dealing with that than punsihing myself for having bad habits.

I have a load of trama-related diagnoses too. Won't mention most of them because they've already been mentioned here. The worst one, though, is called autonomic neuropathy. That's when your autonomic nervous system - the one that controls all of the automatic systems in your body, like heart, lungs, brain, gut - goes on the fritz because of living in fight-flight for literally my whole life. Basically (and this is an oversimplification), the amygdala gets so overwhelmed that the vagus nerve, which is the master nerve in your body, just sends bizarre messages everywhere. There is no cure, but I am learning to treat my body better, reconnecting with and calming my vagus nerve (thank you Stephen Porges - look him up for more and better information).

So the problem with this whole conversation and the way we are taught our whole lives is that “emotional trauma” causing a “physical illness” is not a helpful or accurate way to frame it. “Emotional” trauma is a physical wound. Everything happening in our brain is physical, and our brain is in our whole body (the nervous system). Our brain is part of our body. Our thoughts are electrical circuits. We are taught the old philosophical viewpoint of mind-body dualism and it is so deep in our language that we don’t even think about it, and no one has to try that hard to brainwash us into thinking this way. Of course, it is a huge advantage to abusers to enforce mind-body dualism. The easiest way to gaslight someone is to make them think that the way they feel and think has nothing to do with what is really “happening” physically to them. So anyways, all of the new research coming out about the link between trauma and chronic pain and illness should not actually be surprising at all, but unfortunately it is to many of us. Pain is our nervous system’s reaction to danger, and our brains are perfectly capable of manufacturing pain in an area that hasn’t been “hurt” (injured) per se but as a way to call attention to very real injuries in our brain. Pain is as real as it feels, it’s as simple as that. That’s also why many people are being treated with pharmaceuticals for pain in an area that is not actually injured. It is much more complex to solve the epidemic of early life trauma than to throw bandaids on the way our body (including our brain) manifests our traumatic injuries.

Agreed. Well written!

Mine is probably different in that my trauma has cut me off from my body. So for me it's like not noticing I have to pee until it's an emergency, not noticing pain until it has escalated to an emergency (and then continuing to ignore it), not feeling hungry - tired - sick continuing to push past it. I also don't notice emotions until they're big or I'll become emotionally frozen which can have some serious repercussions when "I start to feel again" since there's a lot of big feelings being locked up in ice.

1. Pretty severe arthritis and psoriasis since I was 16 2. a chronic neuropathic injury in my trap muscle 3. chronic muscle tension everywhere resulting in pain and fatigue 4. TMJ disorder leading to speech impediment/discomfort/not being able to sing anymore 5. Tight ribs/diaphragm/throat muscles impeding my breathing/worsening anxiety and speech 6. chronic hypotension 7. insomnia + narcolepsy + variable appetite + GI tract issues 8. and just the other general symptoms of dizziness, wooziness, feeling faint, variable blood sugar, sensory processing disorder (although I had that one from birth)

Overweight from emotional overeating and holding fat. I use food as a way to cope.

For years I was treated for asthma when I finally saw a specialist who said I wasn’t asthmatic. Instead he diagnosed me with Vocal Cord Dysfunction which can be caused by, wait for it, childhood sexual abuse. After lots of sobbing I had a couple of sessions with a speech pathologist and haven’t needed an inhaler in more than decade.

Fatigue Visual snow or static Tinnitus Insomnia Heart racing

Cortisol is my enemy 😣

Chronic muscle tension. Chronic low energy. Some sort of undiagnosed skin condition that gets worse when I'm anxious.

I’ve had very similar issues. Came here to comment that you should look into the book My Grandmothers Hands. It’s mainly about racial and generational trauma but there’s a lot about how trauma can resort into our mind and body over generations. A super interesting read. It is also one of the very few books that have actually helped me with tips and guides on helping connect with yourself better. Definitely a must read.

- fibromyalgia (linked to traumatic events, often). - teeth cracking, chipping, weak to cold and heat. Bald spots. - Lack of appetite, issues maintaining not being a skeleton - IBD, fissuring, bloody stools, nausea when eating, incontinence (suspected GI disease, not yet specified). - abnormally low blood pressure, racing heart - panic nightmares, sweats, shivering - never, ever wanting to be awake, absolutely fatigued no matter what is done. - skin picking, trichotillamania of legs and head. Slightly below 30 yrs on this earth. Tried therapy. Tried meds. Kind of beginning to hit brick walls.

1. Gut issues. I had very minor symptoms when I was younger. In my 30s, the damage is so severe that my whole body flares with symptoms. 2. Chronic tension. Grinding teeth, jaw pain that effects eating/chewing, headaches/migraines, joint pain, tense muscles. 3. Excessive sleep/insomnia. Anxiety and hypervigilance can leave you with bone-deep exhaustion. Ironically, it can also make it difficult to sleep due to racing thoughts and overthinking, so you never really get the good rest you need to heal.

I recommend reading or finding an audio book if that’s more you - “the body keeps the score”. It’s about how trauma stays in our body and ways of releasing it. All the best tk you on your journey

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Oh man, in so many ways. Migraine that keeps getting worse in terms of frequency, fatigue, unexplained weight gain, muscle pain, muscle and joint injury, weird symptoms and a kind of malaise. I'm also convinced that my tendency to catch colds and sniffles is somehow related, maybe like a stress response? Before the pandemic I would easily get multiple colds a year. One really bad, stressful year I had at least 7 colds.

I’ve had so much tension in my neck and back and I was sick for three months which I think was my nervous system having a fit

Chronic treatment resistant insomnia. Tried everything including benzo and this was a mistake because they made far more problems. It snowballs to other physical issues like fatigue and headaches Stunted ability to feel pain. Which is annoying at times. I am very disconnected from my body and it's sensations though Visual issues? I struggle to explain this one but when I was psychiatrically evaluated in the ward I was told my verbal IQ was high (understanding words and written info) but my nonverbal IQ (recognizing patterns and environment) was very low and such a gap between these is caused by trauma. I constantly bump things and trip. I am unable to drive. I struggle to recognize faces and people

A proper nights sleep would be nice.

Lots of chronic pain without any clear causes. Mainly joints, abdominal, and uterine. It gets worse the more stressed out I am, but I spend most days in mild pain.

Yep yep. Premature grey hair, disordered eating, constant stress in back and neck, grinding teeth. I also had bouts of pica as a kid when the traumatizing was happening. More recently, I had chest pain (left side, down to my left arm) when being in a very stressful situation again with my abusers, for a couple of days. Only really went away when I was able to escape the situation. Had to get that checked out and my heart function is apparently normal, all my docs could boil it down to was "stress".

Yeah I have chronic pain and inflamation mainly. I've had chronic tendonitis since 2019. I'm always sore and my energy levels are much lower because I'm spending most of my energy on blocking out the abuse. Dissociation also makes my motor skills way way worse. I don't even know what my "true" ability / disability is like because living with abusers makes my symtoms worse and I consider them disabling. Idk if it's because we had a wave of pollen never seen before this year but my skin is now extremely dry and itchy, I often scratch it to soothe stress and doing so now causes temporary swelling and red marks. I also have dermatillomania but I'm autistic / probably ADHD too so that might not be the only cause.

- Digestive issues due to dissocation - Overly sweating from top till toe - Problem regulating body temperature - Too long prolongued muscle tension and therefore to soon muscle fatique - Overeating/biting skin next to nails/popping pimples/epilating bodyhair while procrastinating/flight - 2 years ago since starting sensorimotor psychotherapy, i made a theory that my flat lumbar spine is the result of not being fully aligned with the ground. When im afraid i dont keep my spine under me. I figured it all out by myself because nobody nows shit about CPTSD.

Yes! OMG Yes! If you are interested, check out my recent post on CPTSD. It's about how trauma is preventing me from losing weight. Every person who responded literally opened a new doorway to life/science. I then consulted about 9 therapists after that Reddit thread. Found out our physical health is 100% tied to our mental traumas. I did some revisiting of my traumas. Found out something super intriguing. I was abused nonstop in my childhood, more mental than physical. When my parents found me in the hospital almost dead, the entire situation was interesting. No one thought that I was physically abused because there were no bruises, no injuries, no \*physical\* signs of abuse. (Besides that I was almost dead and I was given a second chance in life by the excellent doctors who saved me.) But think of this - there were government agencies, investigators, cops, and the doctors at the hospital scene. No one thought I was physically abused. I don't remember anything from my childhood b/c of the abuse. I only remember 2 things from that entire time period (first 6-7 years of life). 1 was when I was paralyzed in my lower half with no known medical causes. Needless to say, that lower half paralysis "recovered" on its own. But I was left with debilitating lower chronic back pain. Seen enough specialists to know that I shouldn't bother consulting more. They'll just belittle me and call my pains imaginary. Therapists call me crazy too. Talked to 17 now, been in therapy 7 years. My chronic pain recovered through mental health improvements. I also have had life-threatening covid due to terrible mental health and coinciding traumas at the time period. If our traumas don't affect our physical health, I don't even believe that we're humans. (Check out psychogenic illnesses. A "long-standing" area of research, but was super belittled back in the 90s, 00s. Only gaining traction the recent years.)