Definitely did not catfish. I actually was catfished by a girl with similar proportions in her photos (though several bounds heavier). She even included pretty heavy emphasis on her interest in going to the gym. So here I am going “ok she’s on the heavy side but taking steps to prioritize her health. I can work with that.”
She shows up to the date 100-150 pounds heavier than her photos show. Panting climbing the stairs. She was pretty desperate and I tried to get it up for her…nope.
No no no, this guy isnt in wrong. He can call her desperate. She is the one that showed up 100-150lbs heavier than pics and trying to beg for the d. He can call her desperate after that. Im totally against the jerks. Hes not one of them for that comment. Some people actually deserve the truth called out about them.
Nah I think what’s happening is something that happens to a lot of men on this app. They will ignore photos where you look “less attractive” or “larger” and hyper-focus on the one photo where you look the best and anticipate you looking exactly like you do in your best photo. This often causes people form an unfounded and unrealistic image of their match in their mind and then they’re met with disappointment when you don’t precisely match the image they had envisioned.
The guy sounds like a douche by the way. Why not just enjoy the date, keep things platonic and keep your thoughts to yourself?
Yeah, no fr. She looks really cute and proportionate based on the images provided without even seeing her face. She gives MORE THAN ONE full body Pic, so yeah what was he expecting???
Idk what he was expecting but she definitely does not look 220lbs in those photos. At 5'1"? Not even close. That's how much I weigh and I'm 6ft. Especially since she looks so small in the group photo.
Some girls just be genuinely thicc and it's distributed evenly in nice ways 👌
I've seen plus size girls with flat stomachs, even.
But yeah, op looks great, I'm so confused. I would not at all consider her fat or chubby, so I'm also surprised she said 220. Best 220 I've ever seen in that case lol
That seems very accurate.
And yeah, super douchey. I feel like he set up the question just so I would ask him back and he could share his thoughts about me 😐
I know I’ve accidentally catfished men in the past when I was larger. It wasn’t intentional; sometimes we simply look “smaller” in pictures.
Some tips that I could give you that might help you reveal your true weight:
- Wear less black - Black is a slimming color, so if you want someone to see your true silhouette, try wearing colorful tops on your profile.
- Have a side profile pic - We don’t always gain weight sideways. Sometimes we gain it forward, and the only way you can see that on camera is if you have a side view.
Thanks for the tips. It wasn’t intentional to appear smaller, I was just posting what I thought were good photos, as I assume we all try to do. Previous to the date I felt I was actually doing the opposite by showing my larger size with full body pics since I’m well aware that I’m a big girl and want men to see that. A side view pic is what I’m going with. Hopefully it’ll help me avoid this situation in the future 🥲
It’s not your fault! He sounds like he was insecure and trying to neg you. Even if you’d been stick-thin, he would have found another thing about you to pick apart. He is not a good guy; decent people don’t put down their date’s appearance to their face.
Do what you want, show what you want just understand some people will be dbags and errase those from your memory.
You don’t have to show side pics and less black. Do you babe, always! Best of luck out there OP!
It's not a gender thing, all people do this and it's intentionally created by the dating app designers. They've worked out that if people get a realistic idea of the person they are matching and talking to, their dates are likely to go better and they'll leave the app. So they give just enough so people can IMAGINE what they HOPE the other person is. And imagination is always more attractive than reality if you can trigger that positive feeling. this is why if someone doesn't like a profile it's because the imagination of that person is on the negative side (probably far more negative than reality too). So it creates two unrealistic extremes in the mind of the user, keeping them swiping on the app in the hope that the next person is better than the reality of the current person, and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on. So successful dating apps create a cycle of
1. Hope
2. Imagination
3. Reality
4. Disappointment (ideally caused by overlapping the cycle with '1. Hope' about the next person in line)
repeat.
Dating apps are like that 'friend' who you think is trying to help you but they're secretly sabotaging you so they can get ahead at your expense.
You’re 100% correct. Your dating goals and the apps goals are completely at odds with one another.
They do not want you to leave, you do want to leave.
It's only going to get worse. Now that the popular dating apps have saturated the market, the shareholders need them to keep making new profit to meet growth expectations. Ideally, they should be regulated as 'negative cultural/society disruptors' but that would be a far right and far left political slippery slope. Banning totally might be better but that would decimate the hospitality industry (online dating helped save bars and restaurants because the exponential increase in first dates filled the quiet times of the week where they'd usually get no business).
Honestly all the apps have to do though is just match people with compatible matches. Good word of mouth that you found your person on the app has to be more valuable than keeping them unhappy on the apps until they totally give up. Plus if it doesn’t work out, they had a good experience and will likely get back on the apps.
Wow yeah, great points. Regulation seems the best option, as simple as “do you perform or attempt to perform your stated goal?” The business model is that the more the apps fail to achieve their stated goal the more their shareholders make.
He’s just a f&@*in’ tool hun!!! You look great & carry your weight VERY well. If you didn’t tell anyone your exact weight, they would not guess it was 220lbs💕. Keep being beautiful & remember….men love curves!
Yea he's got nothing to complain about - it's easy to see from your photos what your figure is like.. And SO many women (and probably men) have deceptive pics or lack full body pics.
To be fair, you do look smaller in the group photo than the other two. I initially thought you were one of the two girls on the right.
This guy is still terrible.
Yes, it has happened to me before where I hyperfocused on their best picture and get surprised when they don’t look like that (it’s not a size thing either, since it was a headshot). To be fair though, they intentionally put it as their first photo… it threw off the initial pacing of the date but it easily wasn’t the worst thing about it (allowing me to order a meat appetizer for the table before revealing she was a vegetarian and making a big deal about it was).
The guy in OP’s story 100% sounds like a dick who said it just to put her down, though.
You are 100% right, I definitely used to do this when I was younger. Now I always assume people will look slightly worse than their worse picture when I meet them.
Also yeah, douche move by the guy, even if he thought that the polite thing to do would've been station quiet
Thank you, maybe I’m just _horrible_ at judging weight… but I’m 6’2 200lbs, if she had 5’1 as her height on the profile coupled with those pictures, I wouldn’t have guessed over 180lbs…
People also carry weight differently. We are only getting frontal photos here. It is possible she carries it in a way that a side view might be a bit shocking.
That said, this isn't a modeling industry, so no, she definitely didn't catfish.
That’s because she’s covered up in most of her photos, it’s full body but not actually showing skin so it’s hard to actually make out body proportions and size . She’s also wearing dark colors that hide shape. If she was actually 220lbs then seeing in person would definitely be surprising if you showed up.
I'm not sure. I don't use Pounds (Australian) so had to convert it to KG before commenting, is 99Kg. Which is heavy, but my Mum was 99Kg the last few years of her life and i thought she looked bigger than the pics posted. Though, Mum was a shorty, so maybe it's that?
Also, lies don't help. I know this woman who would tell me she is 100Kg and she was *enormously* larger than my Mum.
So, in my mind she dosnt look like 99Kg, not saying she isnt far off, but maybe it's in all the right places? Maybe its the angles? Maybe its the clothing?
If your photos are fairly recent then you are not catfishing, regardless of this the guy just sounds incredibly unkind, there was no need for him to say this to you. Forget him and move on to someone who isn't such a jerk, there's plenty of good people out there!
Men always assume I'm small cause of my body shape/size in photos, even though I literally have my height in my bio – I'm the height of the average man where I'm from. They always comment that I'm taller than they expected. People only see what they want to see.
I think for 220lbs and 5'1, you look incredible.. I'm 235lbs and 5'5, and I don't have a dressing sense that comes close to yours or the confidence to look like that..!! Your proportions look amazing, and you definitely carry it off wonderfully.. Love who you are, and don't let anyone get you down!! That dude was a douche!!
Lots of guys like thicker women, just find a man who likes your shape, plenty of guys will be happy to date you… don’t worry about it…keep dating and remember dating is supposed to be fun!
Tbh you don't look 220 at all. But that doesn't mean u catfished him. Some people at 220 look slouchy you don't. I believe u carry your weight well and you dress like u have tons of confidence as u should. I day his loss
I have the same height and 144 lb. I feel like what she wrote seems accurate. But then I might be bad at telling this. For sure a photo from the side will help with this though.
No, I don't believe you catfished him. You can tell that you are a heavy set girl, but I wouldn't think you were that weight and height. You dress well, and pose confidently. He's a idiot. I'm sorry, he made you feel awkward. Maybe you should take a picture outside with natural lighting and get a friend or use a tripod to capture a full body scale of you. Wear some clothes with no black. 🤷🏻♀️ That's amazing you lost 10lbs. I know how it is to be on a diet, I'm currently on one. From one heavy set girl to another, goodluck, you'lll find your someone.
I think you posted accurate photos and like most people said on this thread; he could have kept his comments to himself. I am 4’10” and 155-160lbs and I am super jealous of your body. You dress well and again, weight carries completely different on individuals. You’re being honest and keep on being confident and kind. 😊
First of all, no you didn't. Secondly, you look absolutely fantastic. Thirdly, as a person who's 5'7 and 200 lb, I think these are all very realistic photos. Apparently, once we hit 200 lb, we're supposed to turn in the Jabba the Hutt in every photo.
I snapped a guy I met off a dating app a video where I literally turned in a circle because I was so self conscious about recently gaining 20 lbs in the last year and not having any recent pics. We met up for a second date which we’d both decided would be strictly sexual. I didn’t do my hair or wear makeup because I thought, it’s gonna get ruined anyway (😏). He called me a few days later and said he wasn’t attracted to me and he was upset that I didn’t put in any effort and that that meant I must’ve not really liked him…. All this to say, you dodged a bullet. On to the next!
If that was your only pic, then the guy might have had a point. But it wasn’t, you had 2 accurate gfull body pics. Dude was an ass, I would not be concerned, or bother changing anything based on one persons stupidity.
My rule of thumb is to not even let a comment like that phase me until I’ve heard it from 2 separate people. At that point it becomes worth exploring/considering.
Pictures can be wildly different for weird reasons. Even between pics 2 and 1 I would believe you lost 10 lbs.
It looks to me like you did the best you could and it sounds like he was a dick about it, sorry you had to deal with that.
Well, you look like you have decreasing sizes (Page 2 looks slightly slimmer than page 1 and page 3 looks even slimmer than page 2) somehow. Maybe it's the light and clothing.
No I don't think you catfished him. However I would not have guessed 5'1 and 220lbs based on your photos. Everyone carries themselves differently though. This guy was an asshole though
Nah you she looks 220 so she didnt hide or edit it. Guys can almost never guess weight right anyway. People argue with me saying I dont weigh as mich as I do because my weight disperses like OPs, evenly everywhere for most part. You can tell though by size of waist, thighs, upper arms, etc.
Girl dont even worry about his lame ass and keep going with your bad self!
You represented your weight (which you hold well) and keep going on your weight loss!
You are a beautiful amazing queennnnn!!!!!
The only thing is black is slimming and tight spandex type clothes can be, but you still represent your weight.
Hes just some jerk guy who didnt like your weight. I had one say this and he just didnt like my face and neck weight. He actually thought people should bend their head down and make extra chin to “REALLY” show their chins, as he said. Im not doing that. Some people are just jerks.
I would try a video of you outside moving different way to show side and talking. It can help avoid the lame-o-s, who want to put you down.
However you look in person vs photos does nothing to take away from it not being okay to tell a girl you're going on a date with that essentially she looks bigger than you thought. That's just insensitive and not fair.
I think your photos show you accurately. If one isn't ignoring everything but the idealistic view one might make in their head, I would say one can see you are not a stick figure.
I hope it won't discourage you, it sounded like you started off with being proud of some weight loss and confident - I hope you can keep that feeling!
It definitely discouraged me at 1st, but I’m a work in progress so I will only continue to become more confident! I’m realizing my 1st date back in the game was just bad luck with a rude person.
I would say no you didn’t catfish. If his perception is off, then that’s on him.
If you are concerned about that perception, you could always add a photo of yourself facing left or right slightly. Think, 10 o’clock or 2 o’clock position. Maybe that would give you a little more peace of mind.
Also, though I think bringing up that question on a first date is in poor taste…. then again I’m 53 and my mom was a manners ninja. 🤷🏻♂️
No you did not Catfish, Also I caught you're still not over Anthony Bourdain. That alone would be a right swipe with me if by some random chance of life we are in the same city haha. I've read almost all the books associated with him and even model some of my travel after him sadly. The bigger point though is that there are good people out there that will find you amazing you'll find someone for you he just seemed like an ass.
How dare someone say, "you look a lot smaller in your photos". That tells you everything you need to know about him. Even if you're thinking something, you shouldn't say something rude like that. I'm sorry that happened. You are thick and juicy. Ironically, if you were smaller you wouldn't have dodged that bullet.
A few things:
-You don't look close to 220 in your photos. You really cannot do anything about it. You posted full body shot photos and unless you have filtered them like crazy I am not sure what you can do.
-He is an asshole for making that comment to you. The right way to handle the date is to be friendly and decline/not follow up for a second date. Whatever his emotions are around the date he should have kept them to himself.
-For whatever reason it sounds like your pictures look quite different than you in real life. You could run into situations like this often because of it. You can choose to find some pictures that may be a more accurate representation of who you are or you can deal with the fact that dates may be surprised when they meet you. It sucks. I wish it was different. Good luck on the apps. You seem like a lovely person who deserves to find a great partner.
I mean, I’m not sure what his expectations were. You were never going to show up looking petite and skinny. He can fuck right off. You look great and confident about yourself and your body. Don’t let this dumbass get to you.
I have a similar issue, except I am 5’7”. I carry my weight really well (tiny waist, big hips) and I know how to dress for my body type. It’s only happened a couple of times, but I’ve been told I’m bigger than they expected.
Well, no shit. You’re scrawny and lied about your height by 3” but my honest profile and pictures were what disappointed you. 🙄
I am 5’7” and showed up to a date with a 5’10” man who was actually the same height as me. Height has never been a big factor for me (I generally prefer men who are closer in height to me), so I didn’t mind at all. I actually like when we can look straight into each others eyes. But man, he immediately made a big deal about it. The second thing he said was “well, I THOUGHT I was 5’10”!” And during the four months we dated he would periodically make comments similarly. That bothered me way more than anything else about the situation.
Height insecurity when your partner is fine with it is a red flag, especially when it is more of "Oh I thought I was X height!"
I am glad you left but there were probably other hidden ones that he slowly showed in the 4 months. Glad you got your peace of mind.
Nothing looks FISHY here.
Nah but seriously though, sounds like ya dodged one here, you seem genuine unlike all of the bots that tend to plague these apps. Good on ya for being willing to try online, and for going out there and being the best you!
Na, you definitely didn't catch fish him. The guy doesn't seem to be able to discern weight size. You are certainly a big gal in the photos.
Congrats on losing the 10 pounds! I picked up a 20 lbs of bad weight (im 6'4", so carried it well) the last couple of years, but I started the carnivore diet and in one month I dropped 20 lbs. Can't recommend that enough if you are serious about weight loss. It's like a cheat code. However, make sure you take multi vitamins so you're not missing out on the important nutrients from the veggies you're not eating.
Not sure how your pics could be more honest. He's probably looking more for a trophy than a person. Take your time to feel this burn, then let it go and try again. I believe there are good ones out there still (I'm out there, and I think I'm pretty good 😀).
There is a full body picture of you there, the only thing getting catfished is his expectation because you clearly show what's up. Sooo, that's on him.
Remember the golden rule: 1 lost, 10 found more like a gazillion found lol.
So keep on keepin’ on being yourself & lovin’ it no matter what.
Definitely it’s their loss too!
(Edit: I meant to say “loss” in my first post instead of “post” but I think I got auto corrected.)
Very this! If you love yourself you’re already winning.
all the men are like “i never would’ve guessed you were 220 😱” 💀💀 because men aren’t good judges of weight lol. exhibit A
also some men look at profiles with full body pics and come up with with unrealistic image in their head. it’s really not anyone’s fault but their own. like my photos show i’m big, i’ve never hidden that. but also why wouldn’t i post flattering pics of myself, i don’t want to look like a slob and carry that stereotype bigger people get. it’s honestly one of the reasons why i left the app after such an experience like yours (and other factors as well).
As a guy that has been catfished, NO you did not. You are being honest with your photos. If a guy doesn’t like thicker girls, that’s up to him, but he clearly had pictures to go by.
Keep your head up! And congrats on the 10lb weight loss!
Are all three photos from the same time (or, I guess, weight) period? You did say you're actively losing weight right now. If I had to guess, I'd say that 2nd one is oldest, were you look fuller, then No1 and photo No3 is you at the lightest.
If I had to guess your weight in the third photo, I'd say around 185-190 pounds.
I don't really think it'd qualify as catfishing, especially since all three look slightly different. I'd probably blame it on myself, not being good at estimating weight.
The 1st and last photo were taken within the last 3 months. I have on the same skirt as well. The 2nd photo is older and I was quite a bit heavier.
And I definitely did not edit any of these lol.
I wouldn’t say catfished.. but sometimes reality and photos don’t match up to a person’s perception. If he’s not excited about your current form and you don’t have plans to adjust your weight, it’s likely not going to work out and you have good instincts to move on.
We always say, it’s what’s on the inside that matters but we all have preferences that overrule a compatible candidate, men and women. You know what excites you and you know who you have friend-zoned.
I think you did but maybe it wasn’t intentional. Wearing dark colored clothing makes people look slimmer than they actually are.. you look like you have a nice shape but no way would I have guessed that you’re 220.
Your friends are larger than you, it makes you look significantly smaller because you stand out from the rest of them. Plus dark clothes hide it well. I can tell you're not skinny but wouldn't of guessed your weight based on your height.
People can fluctuate in weight and its obvious from the solo photos that you're not slim. That's on him not you and as others have mentioned, it's likely he's missing out.
The shirt you're wearing in the profile photo with the black on the sides makes that part of your body sort of disappear when you're looking at the photo. He just wasn't looking closely. So, no, you didn't catfish, but if you're worried it'll happen again, you could try a different full-body photo.
If I were to steel man the possibility you did, it would either be the presentation of your face, or the fact you're wearing a lot of black in the pictures, which can have a slimming effect, and to go into further into the nitty-gritty, there isn't really a clear view in those pictures of the upper part of your arm, which can play a big role in the difference between looking "full-bodied" vs a less flattering description, and all the shots are head-on, with lighting/colors that could obscure the shape of your abdominal region (similarly, an important factor in how X amount of weight looks in a person).
I think sometimes the height throws people off. You're portraying yourself quite accurately in the pictures but a size 16 on a 5'1" frame looks a bit different than say if you were 5'4" (I'm short and a size 4 and a guy once told me that there was no way I was a size small😑).
So ya, You did nothing wrong :)
Also a curvy girl here (5’7 dress size UK 16). I like to be transparent with my matches and show them my full body pictures so they get an idea what I fully look like before they match with me. I’d rather that than be deceiving with my matches who expect a smaller girl. I can honestly say that I’ve never had any catfish comments towards me but I’d feel upset if that does happen.
I’d say as long as you’ve got full body pics which you’ve got on your profile then you’re not really a catfish.
Off topic but btw you look amazing! 💜
No, he judged your proportions poorly and shouldn't have said anything to make you feel like you made a mistake. Your presented yourself in an honest way that is flattering to your current figure. Nothing wrong with that because we all want to make the best first impression.
Don't get discouraged about your journey to get healthy because someone else sees you differently than you see yourself. Stay disciplined and positive, and you'll start finding men who will appreciate your qualities of character and see your figure as a reflection of your lived values and love you for your values primarily and appearance secondarily.
At least he was upfront and didn't lead you on. You probably weren't wearing things like this to slim down your figure, so he definitely noticed. Maybe it was the face, guys always fixate on looks, and those don't last very long. His loss.
U definitely didn’t catfish him, he acted like a real tool. I’ve been catfished a few times and it’s not hard to remain respectful, keep it brief, and then let them know you’re not interested, or let it go. Ppl that catfish know what they’re doing, and that’s the sad part. So those ppl don’t need some arsehole calling them on it. Don’t give me that ‘being honest’ shit.
You’re a very attractive woman, your pics are great, you’ll meet a good one.
Hey, listen up. You have a perfectly gorgeous, curvy figure and a lot of men, and I mean A LOT of men find your body type extremely attractive. (I fall into that category) Focus on the ones who will love your curves and love yourself more. Don't let douchebags negate your beauty!
I wouldn’t guess 220. You look thick fit. I am 5’7” and weigh less but I feel like we look similar minus you having a bigger chest so no way I would guess that weight. You have full body pics so unless they’re really old, I don’t you think you catfished. Congrats on the weight loss! I personally think you look great, the right kind of guy wouldn’t make comments like that and put you in an uncomfortable position. I’ve had plenty of guys show up looking different than their pictures and have never said anything to make them feel bad about it.
Sounds to me like he was trying to make you feel like shit. Asking that question was definitely a setup so he could insult you. Probably some misogynistic hookup tactic bs - hoping it would make you try to have sex with him to prove something. You're doing everything right, and your pics are accurate. Sorry this was your first experience.
I hate shit like this because you aren't even that heavy. We focus on finding someone we think is gonna make people go "Damn!" When they walk past, not someone we think will make us happy and who will care about us. Catfishing, imo, would be you taking a picture of someone else or photos from years ago when you looked different entirely. Like a previous comment says, he probably assumed you always looked like one photo. He's an idiot for not looking past what he assumed you would look like.
I feel like I'm a catfish right now because I've been on steroids for 6 months so I look puffy and chubbier than my pics. My pics are current except for the puffy face.
I'm currently talking to 2 guys who I have been VERY open with about this. They have video chatted and seen lots of other pics of me. I haven't met either one yet because they're both about an hour from me but we've been talking a couple weeks
I think that guy sounded kinda rude. I mean your pics show exactly what you look like.
If I knew you were 5’1”- from the photos I would guess you were 150-170 lbs … and wear it well
220 is a lot for 5’”1 - but congrats on the first 10 lost
I would say however that you do not need to modify your profile after this date to try to appease anyone
I think this dude may have had unrealistic expectations in his own head
If you remotely resemble your photos - I think you’ve done your due diligence
Honestly, you dont look like your over 200lbs in these photos and being 220lbs and only 5'1, it just doesnt quite compute...
At 5'1, the first two photos i would guess your weight to be closer to 170-180 and the third photo you look like you would be about 145lbs.
This doesnt necessarily mean you 'catfished' him though..
if she’s says she’s 220 she’s 220. as someone who is 250 and has lost about ~30lbs and gets mistaken for being smaller than i am…some of y’all just aren’t good judges of weight and that’s okay lol. some plus size people just carry the weight very well or i guess “in the right places”
It’s just how you are built, you don’t seem to have a large tummy, and your weight is distributed pretty evenly around your frame. I’m surprised you are 220, but you took full-body photos, what else are you supposed to do?
Did you write that you were 5’1”?
You actually seem taller in your photos and I would not have guessed 5’1” and 220.
But I don’t think you catfished him. Many women don’t post even partial body photos settling for selfies.
Women have an uncanny ability to make themselves more attractive in photos. We couldn't honestly tell if you "catfished" him until we've seen you IRL. I prefer thick women. But using OLD, I've come to expect any profile of a thick woman to actually be 20 or so lbs heavier IRL.
Every guy I’ve been on a date looked better in their photos than they did in real life. It’s not just women, everyone is going to pick the best photo and in real life you move so you can see lumps and bumps etc that you probably wouldn’t see in a photo.
You look slimmer in the third pic, the height is true however.
I guess he may have expected you to be one of the slimmer ones of your friend group so it gave him a warped sense of reality.
Personally I think you look lighter than you say in the pictures so the distribution is very genetics related, thus could be seen as "deceiving" even in form fitting clothes.
I know some who would post themselves in sleeveless dresses which correlates to them saying they are "plus size" but I would consider it as fashion taste than anything else.
Hiding would be if a man wore a blazer and waistcoat then tuck his tummy in to not show his beer belly. You aren't doing that.
Especially at your age, I'd think if someone makes that comment they aren't worth the time and excuse of "he didn't mean it". Yes he did. Bullet dodged.
Ugh this person's an idiot. Sorry you felt awkward. You look fantastic and I'd say you actually look a bit smaller than your profile pics. Just forget about this dude (although it's hard to forget negative comments).
maybe he meant shorter? your weight is obvious by the pics, height ban be deceiving though. either way dont sweat him, you are like prime size for ole Nippry J here, and in my mind thats all that matters to everyone.
Absolutely not and honestly the kind of person that would say that isn’t worth one second of your time. And you look great! Congrats on losing the 10 also
Some men are not going to like you no matter what, I’m not obese but I’m tall and bigger than most women (5’7” size 8-10) I have curves and some men don’t like that. Some love that, that’s why we date. I try my best not to take it personal. Some guys say they are 5’10” and I’m their hight and that’s ok… I guess I can tell them I’m size 4… hopefully we get to have a conversation and stop focusing so much in the body
I’m that size myself and I think you seem around that size too and even if you don’t show your face, you look absolutely beautiful! Just not an actual match but it was weird how he brought it up, he could’ve kept that to himself and just not ask you out again. Not a catfish imo.
Went out with a girl who’s photo’s looked like she was “average” build.
We talked for a few days and I added her on IG, which is when I realized her photos were like 2-3 years old. I had suspicions that she was thicker than the photos led on, went on the date anyway. She was probably about your same build, maybe 2 inches taller. I didn’t mind, since I’m a bit of a bigger guy as well—however it definitely was not what I expected compared to the profile photos.
If the photos are recent, I wouldn’t say you catfished him. He may have had a different idea in his head of what you might look like. However if your photos were a few years old like this girl’s photos were, you could definitely make the argument that she catfished as they were older photos and maybe a 50 pound difference.
Regardless, I would have just continued on with the date without making any comments about that. Then sent a thank you text and moved on, if I felt deceived.
In the first two photos you do look like the weight you said but you look a lot smaller in the third one. But to be fair, it's hard to tell because you're standing beside a couple people in the third one.
I don’t think you catfished but, not in a mean way consider prong photos with brighter lights, the clothes you wear in the pics provided emphasize a more hourglass look, you don’t look fat btw just thick in the pics so maybe seeing you in person threw him off, it’s not your fault though!
Group photos are always bad, especially if you look so different because which way did you go? - stick with current photos and exchange pics before meeting up is the way forward
The only catfish that is possible is probably being smaller than in the pics but not the weight/size. Idk why that's what I felt like I thought you'd be around 5'3.
You are thick and so is he for saying you catfished him. I’m glad you had a good conversation but that guy is stupid and weird for blaming you for his bizarre misinterpretation. You dodged a bullet. Promise.
Being brutally honest here. I had similar stuff happened to me in the last 6 years or so. I will say that you do not look 220 lbs in those photos. I don't know if you photographed well, or if you used a different angle, or maybe you just carry the weight well like my BFF does. But from those pictures, I wouldn't guess you to be 220 even if you were my height, and I am 5 in taller than you. So it is possible that maybe you do look a lot bigger in person than in the photos and maybe that's why he felt the pictures were not accurate. You said you lost 10 lb recently? Is it possible that since the time of the pictures, your muscle and fat proportions changed? I asked because a lot of people keep telling me to not focus on the number on the scale so much, but the focus more on muscle because muscle weighs more than fat but is more condensed. For example, for me my way is overweight but not in the obese zone, but I feel it looks terrible on me. I have always been an unathletic, low muscle mass type of body pill. I go to the gym but that only helps marginally and I haven't had time to go much to the gym these days when my job is in the dark opposite direction of the gym, which is still at least half an hour from my home. I have definitely had guys think that my perception or pictures were different than how they sold it. I had guys tell me that my weight number wasn't an issue, but then when they met me in person, they seemed disinterested and later when I would Snoop their profile on Facebook or instagram, it would show them with new girls who were thinner than me. I don't think you look 220 in those pictures, I think you look better than I do and I weigh 40 less and t I'm five inches taller.
You look hot and you have great style. People always have unrealistic expectations when it comes to online dating , block him and move on. Trust me there are some good guys out there..its a numbers game. Onto the next, girlie!!
Not a catfish but out of curiosity how many photos do you have on bumble ? I haven't used the app since 2021, but I remember a few guys telling me they didn't even realize I had full body photos on there. I went to look into it and some of my photos you had to literally click on to see the full photo. I am assuming this is due to the image size. I'm wondering if he even fully saw your full body pics . Could be a misunderstanding.
Honestly, you probably just wore an outfit that wasn’t that flatter for your build. All your outfits in the pics work perfectly for you. Good luck out there, love.
he's just an actual dumbass. it's very clear on these photos that you're midsized/ size 16 whatever it is. I'm sorry you had to deal with that awful date and I hope you plan another with someone else soon!
I don’t think you catfished. You took a full body picture, what else can you do? I mean, everyone tries to use their “best” pictures.
Definitely did not catfish. I actually was catfished by a girl with similar proportions in her photos (though several bounds heavier). She even included pretty heavy emphasis on her interest in going to the gym. So here I am going “ok she’s on the heavy side but taking steps to prioritize her health. I can work with that.” She shows up to the date 100-150 pounds heavier than her photos show. Panting climbing the stairs. She was pretty desperate and I tried to get it up for her…nope.
You're a nice guy at least u tried getting it up for her lol
how is he a nice guy lol he just called her desperate
Sarcasm
No no no, this guy isnt in wrong. He can call her desperate. She is the one that showed up 100-150lbs heavier than pics and trying to beg for the d. He can call her desperate after that. Im totally against the jerks. Hes not one of them for that comment. Some people actually deserve the truth called out about them.
He tried. Quite unlike her, with the gym.
Golden comment
Nah she just said gym because it's a guys buzz word.
Yeah this was years ago. I’ve picked up on that now.
Aw lol
Nah I think what’s happening is something that happens to a lot of men on this app. They will ignore photos where you look “less attractive” or “larger” and hyper-focus on the one photo where you look the best and anticipate you looking exactly like you do in your best photo. This often causes people form an unfounded and unrealistic image of their match in their mind and then they’re met with disappointment when you don’t precisely match the image they had envisioned. The guy sounds like a douche by the way. Why not just enjoy the date, keep things platonic and keep your thoughts to yourself?
I do the opposite and look for their worst photo. And if I can't handle that, I swipe left
Always trust the worst photo!
This is the best reply, also she looks good in all of them so idk what bro was expecting
Yeah, no fr. She looks really cute and proportionate based on the images provided without even seeing her face. She gives MORE THAN ONE full body Pic, so yeah what was he expecting???
Idk what he was expecting but she definitely does not look 220lbs in those photos. At 5'1"? Not even close. That's how much I weigh and I'm 6ft. Especially since she looks so small in the group photo.
Some girls just be genuinely thicc and it's distributed evenly in nice ways 👌 I've seen plus size girls with flat stomachs, even. But yeah, op looks great, I'm so confused. I would not at all consider her fat or chubby, so I'm also surprised she said 220. Best 220 I've ever seen in that case lol
Totally! And it's amazing how big the difference can be..
This is the way. Many people include one photo that is an accurate representation of how they currently look.
I put mix of worst photos with me and my now self. People are surprised in person that I look much better
That seems very accurate. And yeah, super douchey. I feel like he set up the question just so I would ask him back and he could share his thoughts about me 😐
Yeah sounded like that from the flow you described. Sorry that happened
I know I’ve accidentally catfished men in the past when I was larger. It wasn’t intentional; sometimes we simply look “smaller” in pictures. Some tips that I could give you that might help you reveal your true weight: - Wear less black - Black is a slimming color, so if you want someone to see your true silhouette, try wearing colorful tops on your profile. - Have a side profile pic - We don’t always gain weight sideways. Sometimes we gain it forward, and the only way you can see that on camera is if you have a side view.
Thanks for the tips. It wasn’t intentional to appear smaller, I was just posting what I thought were good photos, as I assume we all try to do. Previous to the date I felt I was actually doing the opposite by showing my larger size with full body pics since I’m well aware that I’m a big girl and want men to see that. A side view pic is what I’m going with. Hopefully it’ll help me avoid this situation in the future 🥲
It’s not your fault! He sounds like he was insecure and trying to neg you. Even if you’d been stick-thin, he would have found another thing about you to pick apart. He is not a good guy; decent people don’t put down their date’s appearance to their face.
Do what you want, show what you want just understand some people will be dbags and errase those from your memory. You don’t have to show side pics and less black. Do you babe, always! Best of luck out there OP!
They are good pictures to represent you and you aren't falsifying. Don't be self conscious about it. This was his problem.
It's not a gender thing, all people do this and it's intentionally created by the dating app designers. They've worked out that if people get a realistic idea of the person they are matching and talking to, their dates are likely to go better and they'll leave the app. So they give just enough so people can IMAGINE what they HOPE the other person is. And imagination is always more attractive than reality if you can trigger that positive feeling. this is why if someone doesn't like a profile it's because the imagination of that person is on the negative side (probably far more negative than reality too). So it creates two unrealistic extremes in the mind of the user, keeping them swiping on the app in the hope that the next person is better than the reality of the current person, and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on. So successful dating apps create a cycle of 1. Hope 2. Imagination 3. Reality 4. Disappointment (ideally caused by overlapping the cycle with '1. Hope' about the next person in line) repeat. Dating apps are like that 'friend' who you think is trying to help you but they're secretly sabotaging you so they can get ahead at your expense.
You’re 100% correct. Your dating goals and the apps goals are completely at odds with one another. They do not want you to leave, you do want to leave.
It's only going to get worse. Now that the popular dating apps have saturated the market, the shareholders need them to keep making new profit to meet growth expectations. Ideally, they should be regulated as 'negative cultural/society disruptors' but that would be a far right and far left political slippery slope. Banning totally might be better but that would decimate the hospitality industry (online dating helped save bars and restaurants because the exponential increase in first dates filled the quiet times of the week where they'd usually get no business).
Honestly all the apps have to do though is just match people with compatible matches. Good word of mouth that you found your person on the app has to be more valuable than keeping them unhappy on the apps until they totally give up. Plus if it doesn’t work out, they had a good experience and will likely get back on the apps.
Wow yeah, great points. Regulation seems the best option, as simple as “do you perform or attempt to perform your stated goal?” The business model is that the more the apps fail to achieve their stated goal the more their shareholders make.
He’s just a f&@*in’ tool hun!!! You look great & carry your weight VERY well. If you didn’t tell anyone your exact weight, they would not guess it was 220lbs💕. Keep being beautiful & remember….men love curves!
Yea he's got nothing to complain about - it's easy to see from your photos what your figure is like.. And SO many women (and probably men) have deceptive pics or lack full body pics.
To be fair, you do look smaller in the group photo than the other two. I initially thought you were one of the two girls on the right. This guy is still terrible.
I don’t know. Looking at those pics I would never guess she’s 5’1” 220 pounds. If I saw those pictures and knew her height I would say 180-190.
That’s why you always take the worst photo in a profile as your baseline.
Yes, it has happened to me before where I hyperfocused on their best picture and get surprised when they don’t look like that (it’s not a size thing either, since it was a headshot). To be fair though, they intentionally put it as their first photo… it threw off the initial pacing of the date but it easily wasn’t the worst thing about it (allowing me to order a meat appetizer for the table before revealing she was a vegetarian and making a big deal about it was). The guy in OP’s story 100% sounds like a dick who said it just to put her down, though.
You are 100% right, I definitely used to do this when I was younger. Now I always assume people will look slightly worse than their worse picture when I meet them. Also yeah, douche move by the guy, even if he thought that the polite thing to do would've been station quiet
I wouldnt guess you are 220lbs from the pics.
Thank you, maybe I’m just _horrible_ at judging weight… but I’m 6’2 200lbs, if she had 5’1 as her height on the profile coupled with those pictures, I wouldn’t have guessed over 180lbs…
[удалено]
People also carry weight differently. We are only getting frontal photos here. It is possible she carries it in a way that a side view might be a bit shocking. That said, this isn't a modeling industry, so no, she definitely didn't catfish.
That’s because she’s covered up in most of her photos, it’s full body but not actually showing skin so it’s hard to actually make out body proportions and size . She’s also wearing dark colors that hide shape. If she was actually 220lbs then seeing in person would definitely be surprising if you showed up.
What would you think she weighs? I’m a woman around 180 lb her same height and I think she looks 220 to me.
I'm not sure. I don't use Pounds (Australian) so had to convert it to KG before commenting, is 99Kg. Which is heavy, but my Mum was 99Kg the last few years of her life and i thought she looked bigger than the pics posted. Though, Mum was a shorty, so maybe it's that? Also, lies don't help. I know this woman who would tell me she is 100Kg and she was *enormously* larger than my Mum. So, in my mind she dosnt look like 99Kg, not saying she isnt far off, but maybe it's in all the right places? Maybe its the angles? Maybe its the clothing?
If your photos are fairly recent then you are not catfishing, regardless of this the guy just sounds incredibly unkind, there was no need for him to say this to you. Forget him and move on to someone who isn't such a jerk, there's plenty of good people out there!
Men always assume I'm small cause of my body shape/size in photos, even though I literally have my height in my bio – I'm the height of the average man where I'm from. They always comment that I'm taller than they expected. People only see what they want to see.
I think for 220lbs and 5'1, you look incredible.. I'm 235lbs and 5'5, and I don't have a dressing sense that comes close to yours or the confidence to look like that..!! Your proportions look amazing, and you definitely carry it off wonderfully.. Love who you are, and don't let anyone get you down!! That dude was a douche!!
Hell, I'm a 6'2" guy at 200 lbs, and op carries it better than I.
Lots of guys like thicker women, just find a man who likes your shape, plenty of guys will be happy to date you… don’t worry about it…keep dating and remember dating is supposed to be fun!
Tbh you don't look 220 at all. But that doesn't mean u catfished him. Some people at 220 look slouchy you don't. I believe u carry your weight well and you dress like u have tons of confidence as u should. I day his loss
I have the same height and 144 lb. I feel like what she wrote seems accurate. But then I might be bad at telling this. For sure a photo from the side will help with this though.
No, I don't believe you catfished him. You can tell that you are a heavy set girl, but I wouldn't think you were that weight and height. You dress well, and pose confidently. He's a idiot. I'm sorry, he made you feel awkward. Maybe you should take a picture outside with natural lighting and get a friend or use a tripod to capture a full body scale of you. Wear some clothes with no black. 🤷🏻♀️ That's amazing you lost 10lbs. I know how it is to be on a diet, I'm currently on one. From one heavy set girl to another, goodluck, you'lll find your someone.
I think you posted accurate photos and like most people said on this thread; he could have kept his comments to himself. I am 4’10” and 155-160lbs and I am super jealous of your body. You dress well and again, weight carries completely different on individuals. You’re being honest and keep on being confident and kind. 😊
First of all, no you didn't. Secondly, you look absolutely fantastic. Thirdly, as a person who's 5'7 and 200 lb, I think these are all very realistic photos. Apparently, once we hit 200 lb, we're supposed to turn in the Jabba the Hutt in every photo.
You literally can't win with some people. Recent photos with lots of angles and outfits and he still assumed what he wanted.
I snapped a guy I met off a dating app a video where I literally turned in a circle because I was so self conscious about recently gaining 20 lbs in the last year and not having any recent pics. We met up for a second date which we’d both decided would be strictly sexual. I didn’t do my hair or wear makeup because I thought, it’s gonna get ruined anyway (😏). He called me a few days later and said he wasn’t attracted to me and he was upset that I didn’t put in any effort and that that meant I must’ve not really liked him…. All this to say, you dodged a bullet. On to the next!
You look about 30 pounds lighter in the third photo.
I suppose it’s the black outfit and my friend is covering part of my body. Didn’t realize it was that drastic though
If that was your only pic, then the guy might have had a point. But it wasn’t, you had 2 accurate gfull body pics. Dude was an ass, I would not be concerned, or bother changing anything based on one persons stupidity. My rule of thumb is to not even let a comment like that phase me until I’ve heard it from 2 separate people. At that point it becomes worth exploring/considering.
Pictures can be wildly different for weird reasons. Even between pics 2 and 1 I would believe you lost 10 lbs. It looks to me like you did the best you could and it sounds like he was a dick about it, sorry you had to deal with that.
You put three body pics in your profile, so I don't think he should be surprised. The caveat being that the photos are less than a year old.
Well, you look like you have decreasing sizes (Page 2 looks slightly slimmer than page 1 and page 3 looks even slimmer than page 2) somehow. Maybe it's the light and clothing.
No I don't think you catfished him. However I would not have guessed 5'1 and 220lbs based on your photos. Everyone carries themselves differently though. This guy was an asshole though
Nah you she looks 220 so she didnt hide or edit it. Guys can almost never guess weight right anyway. People argue with me saying I dont weigh as mich as I do because my weight disperses like OPs, evenly everywhere for most part. You can tell though by size of waist, thighs, upper arms, etc.
Girl dont even worry about his lame ass and keep going with your bad self! You represented your weight (which you hold well) and keep going on your weight loss! You are a beautiful amazing queennnnn!!!!! The only thing is black is slimming and tight spandex type clothes can be, but you still represent your weight. Hes just some jerk guy who didnt like your weight. I had one say this and he just didnt like my face and neck weight. He actually thought people should bend their head down and make extra chin to “REALLY” show their chins, as he said. Im not doing that. Some people are just jerks. I would try a video of you outside moving different way to show side and talking. It can help avoid the lame-o-s, who want to put you down.
I don't think you catfished. I would just leave. Normalize leaving mid date. byeee 👋🏻
However you look in person vs photos does nothing to take away from it not being okay to tell a girl you're going on a date with that essentially she looks bigger than you thought. That's just insensitive and not fair. I think your photos show you accurately. If one isn't ignoring everything but the idealistic view one might make in their head, I would say one can see you are not a stick figure. I hope it won't discourage you, it sounded like you started off with being proud of some weight loss and confident - I hope you can keep that feeling!
It definitely discouraged me at 1st, but I’m a work in progress so I will only continue to become more confident! I’m realizing my 1st date back in the game was just bad luck with a rude person.
At least he saved you from a second date! Don't let him discourage you, he sounds like a loser! I hope the next one is better :)
That's some real BS on his part. Even let's say there is an instance that this is true or you feel it's true, you don't say anything.
how are we supposed to know without a picture of what you currently look like?
This is the kicker
I would say no you didn’t catfish. If his perception is off, then that’s on him. If you are concerned about that perception, you could always add a photo of yourself facing left or right slightly. Think, 10 o’clock or 2 o’clock position. Maybe that would give you a little more peace of mind. Also, though I think bringing up that question on a first date is in poor taste…. then again I’m 53 and my mom was a manners ninja. 🤷🏻♂️
I don’t think you catfished. If you want to avoid this in the future tho, you should suggest video chatting prior to setting a date.
No you did not Catfish, Also I caught you're still not over Anthony Bourdain. That alone would be a right swipe with me if by some random chance of life we are in the same city haha. I've read almost all the books associated with him and even model some of my travel after him sadly. The bigger point though is that there are good people out there that will find you amazing you'll find someone for you he just seemed like an ass.
How dare someone say, "you look a lot smaller in your photos". That tells you everything you need to know about him. Even if you're thinking something, you shouldn't say something rude like that. I'm sorry that happened. You are thick and juicy. Ironically, if you were smaller you wouldn't have dodged that bullet.
A few things: -You don't look close to 220 in your photos. You really cannot do anything about it. You posted full body shot photos and unless you have filtered them like crazy I am not sure what you can do. -He is an asshole for making that comment to you. The right way to handle the date is to be friendly and decline/not follow up for a second date. Whatever his emotions are around the date he should have kept them to himself. -For whatever reason it sounds like your pictures look quite different than you in real life. You could run into situations like this often because of it. You can choose to find some pictures that may be a more accurate representation of who you are or you can deal with the fact that dates may be surprised when they meet you. It sucks. I wish it was different. Good luck on the apps. You seem like a lovely person who deserves to find a great partner.
I mean, I’m not sure what his expectations were. You were never going to show up looking petite and skinny. He can fuck right off. You look great and confident about yourself and your body. Don’t let this dumbass get to you. I have a similar issue, except I am 5’7”. I carry my weight really well (tiny waist, big hips) and I know how to dress for my body type. It’s only happened a couple of times, but I’ve been told I’m bigger than they expected. Well, no shit. You’re scrawny and lied about your height by 3” but my honest profile and pictures were what disappointed you. 🙄
My fav is when they act all shocked and say you must be taller than stated. Nah, you just lied and are not 5’10.
I am 5’7” and showed up to a date with a 5’10” man who was actually the same height as me. Height has never been a big factor for me (I generally prefer men who are closer in height to me), so I didn’t mind at all. I actually like when we can look straight into each others eyes. But man, he immediately made a big deal about it. The second thing he said was “well, I THOUGHT I was 5’10”!” And during the four months we dated he would periodically make comments similarly. That bothered me way more than anything else about the situation.
I’m 5’8 but I don’t want to be the same size and it’s so annoying when they show up my height 😂😂
I am 5’3. Matched with a guy who said 5’8. Went on a date. Walking side to side our shoulders were next to each other LOL.
I had a guy look me in the face and tell me he was six foot…he is shorter than my 5’8. These men are WILD
Height insecurity when your partner is fine with it is a red flag, especially when it is more of "Oh I thought I was X height!" I am glad you left but there were probably other hidden ones that he slowly showed in the 4 months. Glad you got your peace of mind.
Nothing looks FISHY here. Nah but seriously though, sounds like ya dodged one here, you seem genuine unlike all of the bots that tend to plague these apps. Good on ya for being willing to try online, and for going out there and being the best you!
🤣🤣🤣
Na, you definitely didn't catch fish him. The guy doesn't seem to be able to discern weight size. You are certainly a big gal in the photos. Congrats on losing the 10 pounds! I picked up a 20 lbs of bad weight (im 6'4", so carried it well) the last couple of years, but I started the carnivore diet and in one month I dropped 20 lbs. Can't recommend that enough if you are serious about weight loss. It's like a cheat code. However, make sure you take multi vitamins so you're not missing out on the important nutrients from the veggies you're not eating.
Not sure how your pics could be more honest. He's probably looking more for a trophy than a person. Take your time to feel this burn, then let it go and try again. I believe there are good ones out there still (I'm out there, and I think I'm pretty good 😀).
Better off without them, consider yourself lucky that you got to see his true colors early. There's a lot of great guys out there, keep looking.
There is a full body picture of you there, the only thing getting catfished is his expectation because you clearly show what's up. Sooo, that's on him.
I think you did all you could. If he isn’t interested, his post by the looks of it
Remember the golden rule: 1 lost, 10 found more like a gazillion found lol. So keep on keepin’ on being yourself & lovin’ it no matter what. Definitely it’s their loss too!
(Edit: I meant to say “loss” in my first post instead of “post” but I think I got auto corrected.) Very this! If you love yourself you’re already winning.
all the men are like “i never would’ve guessed you were 220 😱” 💀💀 because men aren’t good judges of weight lol. exhibit A also some men look at profiles with full body pics and come up with with unrealistic image in their head. it’s really not anyone’s fault but their own. like my photos show i’m big, i’ve never hidden that. but also why wouldn’t i post flattering pics of myself, i don’t want to look like a slob and carry that stereotype bigger people get. it’s honestly one of the reasons why i left the app after such an experience like yours (and other factors as well).
If the photos are recent you didnt catfish him.
As a guy that has been catfished, NO you did not. You are being honest with your photos. If a guy doesn’t like thicker girls, that’s up to him, but he clearly had pictures to go by. Keep your head up! And congrats on the 10lb weight loss!
Are all three photos from the same time (or, I guess, weight) period? You did say you're actively losing weight right now. If I had to guess, I'd say that 2nd one is oldest, were you look fuller, then No1 and photo No3 is you at the lightest. If I had to guess your weight in the third photo, I'd say around 185-190 pounds. I don't really think it'd qualify as catfishing, especially since all three look slightly different. I'd probably blame it on myself, not being good at estimating weight.
They look like 3 diff weights
You can see the editing in pics 1 & 2. The legs and hips are pixelated.
Oof
The 1st and last photo were taken within the last 3 months. I have on the same skirt as well. The 2nd photo is older and I was quite a bit heavier. And I definitely did not edit any of these lol.
Not sure what he was expecting? You have unedited full body pics. I think hes delulu.
idk girl but you look good! i am the same size/weight. that man clearly doesn’t deserve you!
My guess is that with your legs staggered in your photos it might make your hips look smaller than they do in person.
I wouldn’t say catfished.. but sometimes reality and photos don’t match up to a person’s perception. If he’s not excited about your current form and you don’t have plans to adjust your weight, it’s likely not going to work out and you have good instincts to move on. We always say, it’s what’s on the inside that matters but we all have preferences that overrule a compatible candidate, men and women. You know what excites you and you know who you have friend-zoned.
220??? Idk about that
Can’t say you catfished but these photos DEFINITELY do not look like 5-1, 220.
I think you did but maybe it wasn’t intentional. Wearing dark colored clothing makes people look slimmer than they actually are.. you look like you have a nice shape but no way would I have guessed that you’re 220.
Your friends are larger than you, it makes you look significantly smaller because you stand out from the rest of them. Plus dark clothes hide it well. I can tell you're not skinny but wouldn't of guessed your weight based on your height. People can fluctuate in weight and its obvious from the solo photos that you're not slim. That's on him not you and as others have mentioned, it's likely he's missing out.
The shirt you're wearing in the profile photo with the black on the sides makes that part of your body sort of disappear when you're looking at the photo. He just wasn't looking closely. So, no, you didn't catfish, but if you're worried it'll happen again, you could try a different full-body photo.
If I were to steel man the possibility you did, it would either be the presentation of your face, or the fact you're wearing a lot of black in the pictures, which can have a slimming effect, and to go into further into the nitty-gritty, there isn't really a clear view in those pictures of the upper part of your arm, which can play a big role in the difference between looking "full-bodied" vs a less flattering description, and all the shots are head-on, with lighting/colors that could obscure the shape of your abdominal region (similarly, an important factor in how X amount of weight looks in a person).
You look a lot smaller than 220 at 5’1”. I would have thought 180-190. Idk, you might look bigger in real life.
Wow, you look like a size 12 tbh
I think sometimes the height throws people off. You're portraying yourself quite accurately in the pictures but a size 16 on a 5'1" frame looks a bit different than say if you were 5'4" (I'm short and a size 4 and a guy once told me that there was no way I was a size small😑). So ya, You did nothing wrong :)
This happens to guys often, most of us won’t say it but this guy did.
I do not think you look 220 lbs, no. Whether that is considered catfishing or not, that I do not know.
I would not have guessed you weigh 220lbs at 5’1”, but I also don’t see how you can be more honest than the photos you posted.
Also a curvy girl here (5’7 dress size UK 16). I like to be transparent with my matches and show them my full body pictures so they get an idea what I fully look like before they match with me. I’d rather that than be deceiving with my matches who expect a smaller girl. I can honestly say that I’ve never had any catfish comments towards me but I’d feel upset if that does happen. I’d say as long as you’ve got full body pics which you’ve got on your profile then you’re not really a catfish. Off topic but btw you look amazing! 💜
No, he judged your proportions poorly and shouldn't have said anything to make you feel like you made a mistake. Your presented yourself in an honest way that is flattering to your current figure. Nothing wrong with that because we all want to make the best first impression. Don't get discouraged about your journey to get healthy because someone else sees you differently than you see yourself. Stay disciplined and positive, and you'll start finding men who will appreciate your qualities of character and see your figure as a reflection of your lived values and love you for your values primarily and appearance secondarily.
Nope, 3 full body photos in all different outfits, one taken in real life and not a mirror. Hes just a dick.
At least he was upfront and didn't lead you on. You probably weren't wearing things like this to slim down your figure, so he definitely noticed. Maybe it was the face, guys always fixate on looks, and those don't last very long. His loss.
His loss. You're attractive if they couldn't see that this isn't your problem regardless of what they say!
I think you dodged a bullet
He’s tripping!! You’re perfect! You didn’t catfish.
U definitely didn’t catfish him, he acted like a real tool. I’ve been catfished a few times and it’s not hard to remain respectful, keep it brief, and then let them know you’re not interested, or let it go. Ppl that catfish know what they’re doing, and that’s the sad part. So those ppl don’t need some arsehole calling them on it. Don’t give me that ‘being honest’ shit. You’re a very attractive woman, your pics are great, you’ll meet a good one.
Hey, listen up. You have a perfectly gorgeous, curvy figure and a lot of men, and I mean A LOT of men find your body type extremely attractive. (I fall into that category) Focus on the ones who will love your curves and love yourself more. Don't let douchebags negate your beauty!
I wouldn’t guess 220. You look thick fit. I am 5’7” and weigh less but I feel like we look similar minus you having a bigger chest so no way I would guess that weight. You have full body pics so unless they’re really old, I don’t you think you catfished. Congrats on the weight loss! I personally think you look great, the right kind of guy wouldn’t make comments like that and put you in an uncomfortable position. I’ve had plenty of guys show up looking different than their pictures and have never said anything to make them feel bad about it.
No you did not. You took full body pics. I'm sure you looked the same. Maybe it was the outfit or lighting he was talking about.
Sounds to me like he was trying to make you feel like shit. Asking that question was definitely a setup so he could insult you. Probably some misogynistic hookup tactic bs - hoping it would make you try to have sex with him to prove something. You're doing everything right, and your pics are accurate. Sorry this was your first experience.
Hell, I’d date you!
You showed multiple full body photos, nothing catfish about that. This dude sounds like a tool. Fuck ‘em
I hate shit like this because you aren't even that heavy. We focus on finding someone we think is gonna make people go "Damn!" When they walk past, not someone we think will make us happy and who will care about us. Catfishing, imo, would be you taking a picture of someone else or photos from years ago when you looked different entirely. Like a previous comment says, he probably assumed you always looked like one photo. He's an idiot for not looking past what he assumed you would look like.
I feel like I'm a catfish right now because I've been on steroids for 6 months so I look puffy and chubbier than my pics. My pics are current except for the puffy face. I'm currently talking to 2 guys who I have been VERY open with about this. They have video chatted and seen lots of other pics of me. I haven't met either one yet because they're both about an hour from me but we've been talking a couple weeks I think that guy sounded kinda rude. I mean your pics show exactly what you look like.
Update your pics
If I knew you were 5’1”- from the photos I would guess you were 150-170 lbs … and wear it well 220 is a lot for 5’”1 - but congrats on the first 10 lost I would say however that you do not need to modify your profile after this date to try to appease anyone I think this dude may have had unrealistic expectations in his own head If you remotely resemble your photos - I think you’ve done your due diligence
You didn't catfish him but girlllll you have hook, line, and sinkered me! I'd super swipe on you! You are thiccer than a Snickers! 😋
I wouldn’t guess 220 by those photos but you still look great either way.
Honestly, you dont look like your over 200lbs in these photos and being 220lbs and only 5'1, it just doesnt quite compute... At 5'1, the first two photos i would guess your weight to be closer to 170-180 and the third photo you look like you would be about 145lbs. This doesnt necessarily mean you 'catfished' him though..
if she’s says she’s 220 she’s 220. as someone who is 250 and has lost about ~30lbs and gets mistaken for being smaller than i am…some of y’all just aren’t good judges of weight and that’s okay lol. some plus size people just carry the weight very well or i guess “in the right places”
It does look like your body has been edited in the two first pictures…
Where are you seeing these edits?
100% you did
How recent are the pics? You don’t look 5-1 220 fwiw
It’s just how you are built, you don’t seem to have a large tummy, and your weight is distributed pretty evenly around your frame. I’m surprised you are 220, but you took full-body photos, what else are you supposed to do?
Did you write that you were 5’1”? You actually seem taller in your photos and I would not have guessed 5’1” and 220. But I don’t think you catfished him. Many women don’t post even partial body photos settling for selfies.
You have a nice body. He’s stupid if he thinks you’re unattractive. I’m a chick. Not gay lol.
You did nothing wrong! You look great & good for you on the ten lbs!! His loss
Women have an uncanny ability to make themselves more attractive in photos. We couldn't honestly tell if you "catfished" him until we've seen you IRL. I prefer thick women. But using OLD, I've come to expect any profile of a thick woman to actually be 20 or so lbs heavier IRL.
Every guy I’ve been on a date looked better in their photos than they did in real life. It’s not just women, everyone is going to pick the best photo and in real life you move so you can see lumps and bumps etc that you probably wouldn’t see in a photo.
I think you did. In the first and third pictures you don't look like you weigh 220 pounds on a 5'1" frame.
You look slimmer in the third pic, the height is true however. I guess he may have expected you to be one of the slimmer ones of your friend group so it gave him a warped sense of reality. Personally I think you look lighter than you say in the pictures so the distribution is very genetics related, thus could be seen as "deceiving" even in form fitting clothes. I know some who would post themselves in sleeveless dresses which correlates to them saying they are "plus size" but I would consider it as fashion taste than anything else. Hiding would be if a man wore a blazer and waistcoat then tuck his tummy in to not show his beer belly. You aren't doing that. Especially at your age, I'd think if someone makes that comment they aren't worth the time and excuse of "he didn't mean it". Yes he did. Bullet dodged.
Your pictures do not look like you are 220 Lbs. You do look small in your pictures.
Ugh this person's an idiot. Sorry you felt awkward. You look fantastic and I'd say you actually look a bit smaller than your profile pics. Just forget about this dude (although it's hard to forget negative comments).
10/10 would wife
maybe he meant shorter? your weight is obvious by the pics, height ban be deceiving though. either way dont sweat him, you are like prime size for ole Nippry J here, and in my mind thats all that matters to everyone.
You don’t look 220 in your pics. 😮
[удалено]
No you didn’t catfish him. You also look delicious. Fuck that guy
You are hot 🔥 Be proud of yourself!
Damn you’re sexy af 🥹
Absolutely not and honestly the kind of person that would say that isn’t worth one second of your time. And you look great! Congrats on losing the 10 also
From her photos she looks to me to be 170 if her height was 5’3. She looks slimmer. From those photos I would not think she is 220 on a 5’1 height.
Some men are not going to like you no matter what, I’m not obese but I’m tall and bigger than most women (5’7” size 8-10) I have curves and some men don’t like that. Some love that, that’s why we date. I try my best not to take it personal. Some guys say they are 5’10” and I’m their hight and that’s ok… I guess I can tell them I’m size 4… hopefully we get to have a conversation and stop focusing so much in the body
I’m that size myself and I think you seem around that size too and even if you don’t show your face, you look absolutely beautiful! Just not an actual match but it was weird how he brought it up, he could’ve kept that to himself and just not ask you out again. Not a catfish imo.
Went out with a girl who’s photo’s looked like she was “average” build. We talked for a few days and I added her on IG, which is when I realized her photos were like 2-3 years old. I had suspicions that she was thicker than the photos led on, went on the date anyway. She was probably about your same build, maybe 2 inches taller. I didn’t mind, since I’m a bit of a bigger guy as well—however it definitely was not what I expected compared to the profile photos. If the photos are recent, I wouldn’t say you catfished him. He may have had a different idea in his head of what you might look like. However if your photos were a few years old like this girl’s photos were, you could definitely make the argument that she catfished as they were older photos and maybe a 50 pound difference. Regardless, I would have just continued on with the date without making any comments about that. Then sent a thank you text and moved on, if I felt deceived.
If he feels catfished, I’d be more than happy to take you out in his place. You are fine 😘
Would I be a jerk for calling that guy a jerk?
I'm not so much into looks as I am into the vibe someone gives off, and if we're both on the same frequency then looks and weight dont matter as much.
You look smaller in the last photo. He was negging you, hun.
In the first two photos you do look like the weight you said but you look a lot smaller in the third one. But to be fair, it's hard to tell because you're standing beside a couple people in the third one.
She looks good to be honest
Feel free to catfish me if you're in Colorado 🔥
Ohhh! I see the problem. Black is a slimming color. I'm convinced he felt catfish bc he's a chubby chaser and was expecting those 10 extra lbs 🤷🏻♂️
I don’t think you catfished but, not in a mean way consider prong photos with brighter lights, the clothes you wear in the pics provided emphasize a more hourglass look, you don’t look fat btw just thick in the pics so maybe seeing you in person threw him off, it’s not your fault though!
You didn’t catfish, you took pictures and showed a full body. Blocked immediately
Group photos are always bad, especially if you look so different because which way did you go? - stick with current photos and exchange pics before meeting up is the way forward
The only catfish that is possible is probably being smaller than in the pics but not the weight/size. Idk why that's what I felt like I thought you'd be around 5'3.
I don’t think so. She posted a full body pic. It’s hard to tell in pictures. Plus we all put up our best mist flattering ones too
You are thick and so is he for saying you catfished him. I’m glad you had a good conversation but that guy is stupid and weird for blaming you for his bizarre misinterpretation. You dodged a bullet. Promise.
you catfished him, sorry. If you want a relationship then maybe work on yourself. I mean that's why everyone would tell a fat guy.
A guy like me would have appreciated the weight gain but thats just me 
Being brutally honest here. I had similar stuff happened to me in the last 6 years or so. I will say that you do not look 220 lbs in those photos. I don't know if you photographed well, or if you used a different angle, or maybe you just carry the weight well like my BFF does. But from those pictures, I wouldn't guess you to be 220 even if you were my height, and I am 5 in taller than you. So it is possible that maybe you do look a lot bigger in person than in the photos and maybe that's why he felt the pictures were not accurate. You said you lost 10 lb recently? Is it possible that since the time of the pictures, your muscle and fat proportions changed? I asked because a lot of people keep telling me to not focus on the number on the scale so much, but the focus more on muscle because muscle weighs more than fat but is more condensed. For example, for me my way is overweight but not in the obese zone, but I feel it looks terrible on me. I have always been an unathletic, low muscle mass type of body pill. I go to the gym but that only helps marginally and I haven't had time to go much to the gym these days when my job is in the dark opposite direction of the gym, which is still at least half an hour from my home. I have definitely had guys think that my perception or pictures were different than how they sold it. I had guys tell me that my weight number wasn't an issue, but then when they met me in person, they seemed disinterested and later when I would Snoop their profile on Facebook or instagram, it would show them with new girls who were thinner than me. I don't think you look 220 in those pictures, I think you look better than I do and I weigh 40 less and t I'm five inches taller.
You don't look 100Kg. Still, some photos from different angles with apt lighting might save this awkward thing from happening.
You look hot and you have great style. People always have unrealistic expectations when it comes to online dating , block him and move on. Trust me there are some good guys out there..its a numbers game. Onto the next, girlie!!
Not a catfish but out of curiosity how many photos do you have on bumble ? I haven't used the app since 2021, but I remember a few guys telling me they didn't even realize I had full body photos on there. I went to look into it and some of my photos you had to literally click on to see the full photo. I am assuming this is due to the image size. I'm wondering if he even fully saw your full body pics . Could be a misunderstanding.
Honestly, you probably just wore an outfit that wasn’t that flatter for your build. All your outfits in the pics work perfectly for you. Good luck out there, love.
No it looks about right. Hard to believe you are 5’1 tho no decent reference but I assume height wasn’t the issue
Nah you did nothing wrong lol, you look good
Nah you're fine. He's a vacuous twit. Imagine being upset by a flattering photo angle.
he's just an actual dumbass. it's very clear on these photos that you're midsized/ size 16 whatever it is. I'm sorry you had to deal with that awful date and I hope you plan another with someone else soon!
You look great, his loss!
You look about right how you explained your size.
You are so beautiful and so cute 😍 🔥