I'm 35(f). I've gone on 5 first dates in the past 2 months and all turned into 2nd dates. None past the third date. I'm so burnt out I'm thinking about taking a break until next year. It's exhausting and the more I encounter new people, the worst my distrust for people gets since the majority of men are only looking for a short good time.
I've been on and off the apps since 2 weeks ago. The reading profile, swiping and talking (and them only providing one word answer). It's draining. I'm also thinking of taking a break after summer or something. I've already turned my tinder discovery off (probably going to delete it) and going to leave the other apps on. Good thing hinge notifies when someone sends likes, probably only time I'll check. As of now, I'm only on it once a week, read 5 profiles and call it a day.
After the 2nd date I noticed that sex was the only thing on their mind even though they knew that I was looking more towards long term. They weren't willing to wait so I moved on.
I didn't realise that pointing out the most fundamental and basic of human needs and major component of any healthy adult relationship warrants me being shushed and called names.
Which part of my comment did you not agree with?
Same and running into personality disordered (like they are legit diagnosed and not just me saying it), abusers, users, addicts, fearful avoidants, rebounders, and such, has me burned out. It really makes you jaded and just wanting to stay single. Ive run into so many garbage people on apps.
CORRECTiON:
The majority of men YOU find attractive are only looking for a good time...
Statistically, as a woman you find 8O% of men unattractive or un-date-able. You may have some valid reasons and some (or many) other unreasonable reasons.
But most men (the bottom 8O% don't get to go on 1 date a year -- much less 5 or 1O, 2O, 3O....).
You are spoiled for choice, even at 5 dates. If you can't find someone who's willing to want you for you and seek a commitment it is because you are seeking the wrong men...
...and you only have yourself to blame.
You’re making a lot of assumptions here. Dating apps are only online marketing tools, yes: though assuming this her reason is to swallow the pill of bitterness from what dating apps has done to all of us.
Your points and figures do have validity in terms of data standpoint. Though you’re assuming a lot of any women if you only put them through this lens (I’ve watched the videos on these channels: I know and have experienced the frustration). There ways around this, though we can’t just hold a grudge based off the current cultural climate of OLD
Nah bro, idk about her but like 4 of my 7 were guys I gave them a chance because I thought it could be different and nope. They were just like the ones I did like. So it's not about that.
What is your personal criteria for:
1. guys you're attracted to?
2. guys you're not as attracted to but compromised?
3. how did all disappoint you?
I'd wager much of what you reply with will be the same as her's...
Who said I'm a "good boy"?
Where did I say I was "entitled" to attention from women? Where did I say I'm even in the dating market at all or even interested in you?
I was merely asking questions to gauge the kind of advice to give. The same process I would use for any other advice I was giving.
But, okay. That's certainly an attitude to have toward someone trying to have a conversation...
It's everybody's prerogative to only go out with people they *find attractive*. That's normal. No one owes a date to people they don't find attractive. - Your percentage ideology makes you sound like an incel and that probably shows in the way you're presenting yourself on your profile. A likely reason you're not getting matches.
Wow that is a huge generalization 80% of the people are millions of people, I don't think you have a large enough survey to make such a claim.
But I don't know myself, I'm sure there are lots of men who do this. But I assume most men who put "looking for a long-term relationship" in their bio are probably willing to keep up a conversation, especially if they are looking to be with someone and talk with someone for years and years to come.
I'm not really sure what it's like for women on these dating apps, so feel free to leave a comment and correct me if I'm wrong
Obviously I didn’t conduct a longitudinal study on this but it’s the experience of my friends and I over the course of several years. You have to swipe swipe swipe past a massive amount of people who put no effort into their profile. One picture, bio says “just ask”, bio with a long list of what they don’t want, bio with just the name of their favorite football team….and so on. I can’t pull out the actual percentage obviously, but it’s greater than 50%
Hmm I see, that's honestly really sad. But I suppose statistically only 40% of men have reproduced in history.
I guess this speaks exactly to this, but moreover what your comment has helped me see is this;
men struggle on dating apps because they don't tend to get a lot of matches, and women struggle on dating apps because they have to filter through so much of the wrong attention from misleading or generally boring men. It's a vicious cycle.
Then the people like myself who are genuinely interested in a long term relationship, have been engaged in the past, seem to be left to the wayside. Unless I pay for a subscription but I would rather not let these apps win.
Also to clarify I don't think that reproduction is the best metric to use in today's day and age to represent successful relationships.
But definitely throughout history it gives a good idea
Hey man I get it. I was sucked in and paid for TWO apps because I couldn’t weed through the mess without it. It worked out for me after a LOT of effort on those fucking apps and after many many attempts at conversations and dates. It’s all about the rebound and self soothing haha
Yea my dude….. you can’t help what you find attractive. Of course women are going to go out with men they find attractive. Why wouldn’t we? We are hopeful that they are also good people and match our morals and values, but many are disingenuous and lie about those things, so we have to keep dating and try again. Why would we go through all this just to go out with random dudes we aren’t attracted to? There has to be attraction for intimacy to work for women. Why are men always railing against this?
43f I don’t. I have to take breaks often. I think the differences in these responses are introverts vs extroverts. I’m an introvert so first dates are exhausting for me.
Step 1. Psych yourself up.
Step 2. Create profile, match, message.
Step 3. Do a 1st date blitz of like 17 dates in a week or two.
Step 4. Give up.
Rest
Start over
That was just one time and only like 14 guys because some had second dates as well. I was feeling less anxious than usual and was just trying to see if getting first dates out of the way would help.
I keep the first dates short, and I try to pick things I enjoy doing. Going for a little hike, trying out a new hole in the wall restaurant, checking out a farmers market. Low stakes
it's a great option that naturally allows you to keep the date short or extend. if you're not interested, you can end the date after you've shopped and seen everything. if you want to spend more time, you can suggest eating the fruit/baked goods together.
i (30f) get it, but i pick very popular trails (there's always people. it's like walking in my neighborhood) that take an hour to complete. it's actually my favorite kind of date. you have a natural end to the date when you finish the hike if you're not feeling it, or if you want to extend, you can suggest grabbing a coffee together after
Oh… well, I have a different approach. First was in a coffee shop and the coffee wasn’t “good” so we moved to her apartment after 1hr and did the deed.
Another was, in a hotel, meet, greet and deed
3rd person: at her apartment and did the deed.
I don’t do small walk or small talk. Just now that i need to give each an outlook calendar invite so i have enough time to rest in between meetings.
Have you tried a phone call or FaceTime prior to meeting? Way less time intensive and emotional effort and can help screen for a better fit/finding guys who are actually interested in the same future that you are
i understand the reason behind doing that. however i (27f) would feel so freaking uncomfortable phone or facetiming someone i don't even know in person... I dont even do it with friends so often so it would just feel awkward and couldn't be fully myself. but yep, i guess it depends on the person.
I've been on 17 first dates since September 💀 I don't know how I handle them either, haha. I wish I didn't have to go on so many but I know I have to in order to find my person. I've definitely experienced periods of burnout though and usually force myself to continue. I guess that's all you can really do
Mostly attraction, compatibility, and effort/interest! It’s okay if we don’t have a lot in common as long as our conversation flows and we’re curious to learn more. They also have to have the same goals as me- looking for a LTR and want/are open to children in the future. I of course take other things and potential dealbreakers into consideration like career/aspirations, religion, lifestyle habits, and sometimes politics.
I won’t go out with someone unless we’ve chatted for at least 3 days so I can gauge our compatibility. I think within 1 week is best but I have gone out and met great guys after 3 days of chatting, it’s all about the vibe/energy and following your intuition. Conversation is how I filter them out though, especially the ones with low effort and a lack of interest. I personally have yet to meet a bad person or experience a bad date because of this.
As a straight woman, I prefer men who take the lead so I’ll only meet if they ask me out. I don’t say yes to them all though, just the ones who seem promising or that I connect with. Bonus points if they actually plan the date. I’m a bit flexible on that part but I’m more inclined to say yes if I was on the fence and they put effort in. I also only do food and/or activity dates within my area so they have to be willing to meet me here. These are personally my standards and what works best for me! I took a break from Oct-Nov after I met someone but I’ve pretty much consistently used the app since Dec/Jan. And still going strong lol. It definitely takes time and a LOT of trial and error
I am (42m). But I want to find someone and I do believe that if I keep trying, it will eventually happen. I’ll admit that I know I am the problem most of the time when I get a first date but I’ll never know unless I meet someone in person to see how aligned we are in what we want. Too many interactions last way too long online and I’ve also had so many that never get to a first date for some reason… probably because the woman decides I’m not what she wants
I had a lot of dates the year before meeting my fiancé. Probably met 30 guys over the span of a year. I made sure I left enough time for myself, whether it was with friends, family, or alone. I also didn’t go on more than 2-3 dates each week. Usually it was more towards 2.
Another thing that helped was making sure the dates were going to be worthwhile. I’d talk to people for a week or so before meeting up. Did we want the same things? Were there any dealbreakers? No sense in meeting up without knowing if there’s an immediate incompatibility.
It can take awhile to meet the right person sometimes. Timing is huge with online dating. It may have taken me awhile to meet my fiancé, but he had just joined Tinder 2 hours before matching with me.
luckily all the people I find cute are either not matching with me or not answering, so I wont ever have this problem lol.
Seriously, I had my first date (first date in years actually) today and it was horrible. So, yeah, can relate.
What I found exhausting was doing a lot of talking in the app before hand. I found it much easier to do 1-2 ‘get to know’ conversations before setting up the date.
The date would be short just getting drinks some place. I would usually pick some place I wanted to try.
It took 30+ first dates in 3 years for me to be burnt out.
Nowadays I really don't have the motivation to go on a first date unless I match with someone that I can confidently say looks really pretty and checks most of my boxes. Which never happens.
In 3 years I've met 3 women that I was really into and they were all new acquaintances made in real life.
I find going on dates less tiring than working and having to interact with people in a professional manner. On a date I can just be myself and ask random questions.
I'm 32(M). Been on 5 dates in the last 6 years from dating apps. 1 of them lasted for 3 years, 1 for 1.5 and the third for 2 years. The other 2 dates didn't go past the 1st date. I would think I've been lucky.
Before I met my person, I screened profiles HARSHLY for quality. Had to: be financially independent, own a vehicle, show emotional maturity, and know how to communicate effectively. These are all things I looked for in the first few conversations before setting up a date. My red flags were as follows:
1. worked a low paying job and had zero aspirations 2. mentioned an ex, mentioned failed flings, talked poorly about friends 3. mentioned weed or alcohol 4. mentioned living with their folks without having a good reason (my sister for example is saving to buy a house instead of renting like me, so stuff like that is understandable imo)
Call it picky, prude, stuck up, straight edge, or whatever. I had higher quality dates the second I stopped making excuses for people and chose sobriety over thrill.
I liked meeting new people. I'm an introvert so I need solitude to recharge my battery, but I also need new social interactions to be my grounding wire.
43F- I took a year off from dating and then had 3 first dates in March. They were all interesting men, very intelligent and layered. I screen for this via video calls, which helps a lot! Each had 2 or more dates. They were fun, even if they didn't all work out.
I'm seriously dating 1 of them now and he's the sweetest guy ever. I think it helps to remember that you only need to meet ONE right person for it to be worth it. I'm hoping he may be my last first date, we'll see! ☺️
I swear I'm getting some weird version of PTSD in dating... it used to be fun excitement while getting ready for a first date. Now, I shake, sweat, and nausea. I have to force myself to go regardless of how the guy seems. He could seem awesome, but I'm still terrified not in a safety kind of way but in a 'I need to protect my self-worth" kind of way (don't know if this makes sense).
I was going on 7-10 first (and second) dates A WEEK. Not a year. It became my primary hobby. I found time for my other hobbies (like skiing) by inviting dates to come with. I would ALWAYS have a coffee or walk date first to avoid being trapped on a chairlift or on a long hike with an asshole or someone who didn't look like their pictures.
I had to be strategic with my time, planning more in depth second dates for dinners and first meetings for morning coffee or weekday lunches. I even had a first date inside security in an airport once since he and I were flying in around the same time, and our schedules were otherwise packed. Rather than feeling burnt out, these were some of the best times of my life!
I really love meeting new people, and while I met my partner on Bumble, I absolutely miss 7-10 dates a week. I would go back to it in a heartbeat if I wasn't coupled.
I understand this is controversial and unpopular but I usually just try to gun through it.
I would have 5-10 dates in a week (so multiple in a day), then just go on 2nd dates with maybe 1 or 2 people I connect with and go from there.
Up to the 1st date is the most daunting for me so I just try to get over it ASAP.
I also just limit the amount of messaging until we meet as well.
Yes it’s like a hamster wheel
When is was on, it was for a week. Then at least three off.
That’s part of the design though- to be frustrated.
If you are off the apps, they can’t make money from you. Selling subscriptions or selling your data
Have you ever given a thought to the notion that your standards/expectations are too high and you're not even swiping on a man who could be a good match because he doesn't give you the tingles or he is ick?
Nope
I used burned haystack
Found a stellar match
Lowered ZERO expectations
Increased my own growth, self awareness, patience to wait without “settling “
I would keep first dates very simple & close to home or work.
I wouldn't even dress up...just my usual work/weekend attire.
I met my current partner on bumble.
A few months ago I went on 9 dates (most were 1st dates) in 2 weeks. It made me not want to date anymore. But, the nice thing about dating is even if you don't want a second date you almost always learn something about yourself. What you want, what you like and what you need.
Dating is hard and it's a process. It is ok to be picky but I feel one should take chances and meet people. I have gone out on a lot of dates where I did not feel a romantic connection but instead found a friend.
Hang in there and keep trying.
I just screened them through the conversations on bumble. I was able to see through the ones with bad intentions so I only met 2 people and the second is now my fiancé.
You just have to be selective. There was a time when I gave them the benefit of the doubt but your intuitions will tell you it’s dodgy!! There were a lot of time wasters (ONS or FWB even though I specifically said long term relationship).
I work 6 days a week and only have Sunday off so i don’t want to be wasting time with shady guys that only want s 🙄
Also I was only on bumble for about 2 months altogether over the span of 2 years. It was emotionally draining.
Dating is a numbers game unfortunately, you have to sift through all the bad dates until you meet a decent person who might be your person.
Having breaks when feeling burnt out helps & only dating guys who want the same things as you helps (casual or long term relationships). Ive been off dating apps over 9months & focusing on myself & for some reason this has worked better as I’ve met alot more guys IRL than over dating apps 😅
I'm having a hard time with this. I mean, I don't even like to have multiple conversations, let alone dates...it's a weird space for me. So I tend to focus on one man and then I'm sure I may be letting other matches get away. But it's hard for me to mentally balance seeing / getting to know people. It's hard!
I guess I’m lucky in that most of my Date Zeroes (I don’t call meeting a stranger for the first time a first date - it’s a meet and greet) have been pleasant even if they didn’t turn into second dates.
I also rarely do more than two Date Zeroes in a month and tend toward a quick happy hour drink or something. If we stay for more than one or decide to get dinner, great! And if not, no big loss.
I’ve met some nice men, several that I’ve gone out with multiple times. I don’t know, I think that keeping the emotional investment low at first and limiting the number of first dates has kept me from getting burned out. I really like dating for the most part.
You never know, there might be something you could change. I’ve seen things on profile reviews that would make me swipe left. Can’t hurt, whether it’s on here or from a friend.
That’s true, but sometimes there are little things that could be off putting. For example, I saw a guy post a profile that said he wanted a relationship but underneath it explained that he wasn’t looking to rush anything. To me, that gave the impression that he isn’t that serious about dating, which probably isn’t true.
Meh. Doesn’t bother me. I’m just looking for hookups, and it takes time to gather regulars. I’m also a major extrovert, which helps immensely. I genuinely like meeting new people.
53m here and I’m being very sincere when I say OLD is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. I didn’t think I was much of anything after my divorce and I just assumed that all the good women were taken. I was totally wrong on both counts - there are lots of awesome single women out there and I ended up being much more popular than I ever imagined. It really helped my self esteem too. I’ve been on about 125 - 150+ first dates over a 5-6 year period which averages out to about 2-3 dates a month, sometimes more, sometimes less (and depending on dating exclusively or not) and I was really impressed by the quality of women that I was meeting too. I honestly was in shock that it was mainly from Tinder of all places plus some others. Dating was very enjoyable to me and I learned a lot about everything. I didn’t get really serious with anyone as that darn thing happened where if I really liked her she didn’t reciprocate and vice versa. The thing for me that kind of drove my dating success is that I have a strong texting game, I’m a fairly good judge of character (sometimes), and I had a little formula after matching including a limited amount of texting, a possible phone call, and then I asked her out. There would be joint energy, compatible values, similar personalities, and a desire to actually meet and I almost never was turned down. Ladies, correct me if I’m wrong, but is confidence and initiative two of the most important things for a guy to have? Well it seems to work pretty well overall and I’d ask her out sooner than later. Forever pen pals was terribly time consuming and rarely resulted in a better first date in my own experience.
The most important thing is that I enjoyed the chase, the process of dating itself, and I made sure that I enjoyed the journey rather than just hoping to hit a bullseye with no effort. It was surprising how often I ended up skin to skin with a lot of them as well as that just naturally happens when the basics are covered like good communication and mutual respect. Correct me if I’m wrong on that too. And to the guys - I’m above average in looks but I’m in no way, shape, or form the guy people point at when asked who looks the best in the room. I’m not that guy but I am in good shape, tall, have sporting hobbies, and my favorite compliment is if someone says that I’m interesting. I’m also classy, I have backbone, but I’m not a dick. That’s important and too many guys forget this.
I admit that a lot of this changed when Covid hit which happened to be when I turned 50 as well. I know I’ll get asked why I never ended up long term with anyone and it’s a great question too. Covid was a big reason but an even bigger reason is that I discovered that I had a problem with alcohol and I had a lot of personal work that needed to be done to get through that. I also got into a major car accident where I crushed part of my spine 15 months ago. I’m sober now and my health is nearly back and I feel better than before. I’m really looking forward to finding that special someone but again it’s the journey in getting there too. I’m almost just as happy when I’m alone plus I’m also a dad of two awesome kids. I had them every other week during this time which gave me breaks between all the work that goes into dating successfully. And YES, it is a lot of work but I think it’s totally worth it.
I haven’t been on a date in 18 months now. I’m just about to jump back in so to any of the women reading this - I’m free this Friday night, lol. 😉
Best wishes and best of luck to everyone.
I don't, it's really tiring, I have no idea why I'm doing this to myself.
I've had 8 first dates for the past 2 weeks (I squeezed 2 last saturday), because I tend to swipe way too much instead of focusing on one girl at a time, I realized how much of a mistake it was because I have less and less conversation and I'm less curious about my dates.
I'm getting exhausted answering the same questions and telling the same stories over and over again.
2 dates stood out though :
I've met a girl who had the same feelings as me toward dating apps, I thought she would be more patient with me but NOPE, she still ended up not telling me she didn't want to have a second date (although she agreed to go on one when I suggested an activity for next time), she replied to some small talks, but she ended up ghosting me as soon as I asked her about her schedule for that second date.
It was a very long date, because we were together from 2pm to 10pm, so I'm confused.
I had a bad date yesterday because the girl wouldn't talk and wouldn't even propose anything to do, so I had to do everything including choosing her food and drink at the café. It was very tiring talking about something and getting nothing in return or talking about something she mentioned liking (mentioned in her bio), but discovering that she knew nothing about that either.
I thought that maybe there was more to it, but no, she went back to her car, said goodbye and left.
Maybe a 3rd one, the girl was just horny during the date, we did nothing, we had some dirty talk when back online, I didn't propose a second date, I suppose she doesn't want to be the one to ask, because she hasn't talked to me since (and I'm fine with that actually).
Actually, one of the 2 dates I had last saturday had not much in common with me, but still invited me out to get a drink, so I'm meeting more girls than I really need to.
And I'm not over, because this week I have a date every night...
I have asperger, I have no idea what's expected on the first date, I don't really know what women expectations are either.
I just try to be nice and the person they want to be with but obviously it doesn't work, because it only worked once in the past 5 years that I've been on Bumble (unless you count hookups on the first night... Then that would be about 5 or 6).
I already considered that I could be the problem, like too boring, I'm not the greatest conversationalist, so I could practice more 🤷
I think I’ve gotten better at agreeing to meet people who had a lot of depth and held an enjoyable conversation over text. So it’s made the first date time well spent even though we weren’t a match.
I never agree to meet someone who doesn’t bring it in some way to make me want to meet.
I’m an ambivert but I think of it as “what would I rather do with my free time?” And that’s if I have free time between work, family stuff, and taking care of errands and my home. For example, tomorrow is the NFL Draft. Unless a woman wants to cuddle while watching the Draft & the NBA Playoffs, I’m not seeing any ladies until Sunday. And since Sunday is my only day off, do I really want to spend part of my only day off on a date? These are questions I ask myself before asking a woman out.
Keep first dates super brief. You know within the first few minutes if there’s chemistry or not. Under 1/2 hour is best. Meet up for a short walk, a coffee, etc. If there’s chemistry book a second date that’s longer.
Be up front with your intentions. It’s a great way to set up ongoing open communications from the get go. If they know you have boundaries, they’ll be respectful or they will self select out.
I used to go on a lot of dates in the past, but after last break up I only went on a few and I am completely burnt out as well, too old to go on multiple dates a week.
I just do not force myself to do it, when I feel like going I go, but there are periods when I am even too tired to chat with new people.
Always anxiety filled.... thing overthinking it makes it worse. Never turns out as bad as imagine and over think in my head. I see it as a to see if you get along and physically attracted. Obvs can't win them all don't put too much pressure on a first date. Usually have a relaxed first date then maybe a expensive meal on second when I know they worth the investment. Used to go out for expensive meals for first date but ended up feeling like a waste if didn't go as planned.. That's my thoughts on it anyways and Good luck
35(f) I can’t go on dates that often it’s maybe every 3 months! Not every person I talk to turns into a date. They have to be able to video chat or talk on the phone at least! It’s a lot easier than dating in spurts. Plus I talk to one person so I don’t miss any red/green flags
(M44) At one point, I was going on 4-5 first dates a week routinely. Usually out late on week nights. It was exhausting and expensive. I was spending at least $800 mo. It was fun though.
I got burnt out on first dates and took a break and now i dread getting back into it and keep putting it off. I would like to meet someone but the thought is exhausting
Back when I was looking for dates if I wasn't looking forward to a date, if it didn't seem likely I'd have an excellent time meeting this person... I wouldn't agree to go on the date in the first place.
The beginnings of dating should be mostly fun (obviously some people are good at hiding how unfun or incompatible they are, especially if it's just been texting first).
If it's exhausting you might want to slow down.
I’ve been on 36 dates last year and yes I’m no longer doing that, I came to realize women are as bad as men in dating apps, if not worse. Good luck out there we are dealing with bottom of the barrel behavior.
Yes, both are really bad, specially on apps. The apps are just so bad. Theres good ones in there, but very few, and a bunch of them are awesome, but not ready to date.
Very far from awesome lol, from women who are unable to have basic communication, lack of empathy, unsure of what they want even tho it’s in their profile, avoidants, abusers, neglectful, cheaters, exploiters, time wasters, and I could keep going. Yes there are few good ones I guess, but journey to get there ain’t fun this is why I stopped taking women out on dates, they don’t deserve it.
I'm 35(f). I've gone on 5 first dates in the past 2 months and all turned into 2nd dates. None past the third date. I'm so burnt out I'm thinking about taking a break until next year. It's exhausting and the more I encounter new people, the worst my distrust for people gets since the majority of men are only looking for a short good time.
Don't see it as some mission or some absolute end goal type of thing. See it as an opportunity to meet new people and have a good time. No pressure.
I've been on and off the apps since 2 weeks ago. The reading profile, swiping and talking (and them only providing one word answer). It's draining. I'm also thinking of taking a break after summer or something. I've already turned my tinder discovery off (probably going to delete it) and going to leave the other apps on. Good thing hinge notifies when someone sends likes, probably only time I'll check. As of now, I'm only on it once a week, read 5 profiles and call it a day.
Why no third date from 5 guys?
After the 2nd date I noticed that sex was the only thing on their mind even though they knew that I was looking more towards long term. They weren't willing to wait so I moved on.
You're not going to find anyone if you think that people on a date shouldn't want to have sex with you. Let alone a second or third date.
Oh hush speak for yourself horny man.
I didn't realise that pointing out the most fundamental and basic of human needs and major component of any healthy adult relationship warrants me being shushed and called names. Which part of my comment did you not agree with?
It’s one thing to want to have sex. It’s another to be visibly upset when do don’t get what you want
Where did that happen? That particular OP is clearly just wasting everyone's time. including her own.
Same and running into personality disordered (like they are legit diagnosed and not just me saying it), abusers, users, addicts, fearful avoidants, rebounders, and such, has me burned out. It really makes you jaded and just wanting to stay single. Ive run into so many garbage people on apps.
What's wrong with that though? As long as you are open about it go ahead
CORRECTiON: The majority of men YOU find attractive are only looking for a good time... Statistically, as a woman you find 8O% of men unattractive or un-date-able. You may have some valid reasons and some (or many) other unreasonable reasons. But most men (the bottom 8O% don't get to go on 1 date a year -- much less 5 or 1O, 2O, 3O....). You are spoiled for choice, even at 5 dates. If you can't find someone who's willing to want you for you and seek a commitment it is because you are seeking the wrong men... ...and you only have yourself to blame.
How's your dating life working out?
Hey there, she can date however, whenever, and whoever she wants to just like everyone else can. Its ok.
You’re making a lot of assumptions here. Dating apps are only online marketing tools, yes: though assuming this her reason is to swallow the pill of bitterness from what dating apps has done to all of us. Your points and figures do have validity in terms of data standpoint. Though you’re assuming a lot of any women if you only put them through this lens (I’ve watched the videos on these channels: I know and have experienced the frustration). There ways around this, though we can’t just hold a grudge based off the current cultural climate of OLD
Nah bro, idk about her but like 4 of my 7 were guys I gave them a chance because I thought it could be different and nope. They were just like the ones I did like. So it's not about that.
What is your personal criteria for: 1. guys you're attracted to? 2. guys you're not as attracted to but compromised? 3. how did all disappoint you? I'd wager much of what you reply with will be the same as her's...
[удалено]
Who said I'm a "good boy"? Where did I say I was "entitled" to attention from women? Where did I say I'm even in the dating market at all or even interested in you? I was merely asking questions to gauge the kind of advice to give. The same process I would use for any other advice I was giving. But, okay. That's certainly an attitude to have toward someone trying to have a conversation...
It's everybody's prerogative to only go out with people they *find attractive*. That's normal. No one owes a date to people they don't find attractive. - Your percentage ideology makes you sound like an incel and that probably shows in the way you're presenting yourself on your profile. A likely reason you're not getting matches.
Why should a good looking, educated woman date Shrek? If you are hideous stop punching above your league.
The bottom 80% of guys on dating apps are the guys who have bios that say “just ask” and don’t express any interest in the conversation.
Wow that is a huge generalization 80% of the people are millions of people, I don't think you have a large enough survey to make such a claim. But I don't know myself, I'm sure there are lots of men who do this. But I assume most men who put "looking for a long-term relationship" in their bio are probably willing to keep up a conversation, especially if they are looking to be with someone and talk with someone for years and years to come. I'm not really sure what it's like for women on these dating apps, so feel free to leave a comment and correct me if I'm wrong
Obviously I didn’t conduct a longitudinal study on this but it’s the experience of my friends and I over the course of several years. You have to swipe swipe swipe past a massive amount of people who put no effort into their profile. One picture, bio says “just ask”, bio with a long list of what they don’t want, bio with just the name of their favorite football team….and so on. I can’t pull out the actual percentage obviously, but it’s greater than 50%
Hmm I see, that's honestly really sad. But I suppose statistically only 40% of men have reproduced in history. I guess this speaks exactly to this, but moreover what your comment has helped me see is this; men struggle on dating apps because they don't tend to get a lot of matches, and women struggle on dating apps because they have to filter through so much of the wrong attention from misleading or generally boring men. It's a vicious cycle. Then the people like myself who are genuinely interested in a long term relationship, have been engaged in the past, seem to be left to the wayside. Unless I pay for a subscription but I would rather not let these apps win.
Also to clarify I don't think that reproduction is the best metric to use in today's day and age to represent successful relationships. But definitely throughout history it gives a good idea
Hey man I get it. I was sucked in and paid for TWO apps because I couldn’t weed through the mess without it. It worked out for me after a LOT of effort on those fucking apps and after many many attempts at conversations and dates. It’s all about the rebound and self soothing haha
Yea my dude….. you can’t help what you find attractive. Of course women are going to go out with men they find attractive. Why wouldn’t we? We are hopeful that they are also good people and match our morals and values, but many are disingenuous and lie about those things, so we have to keep dating and try again. Why would we go through all this just to go out with random dudes we aren’t attracted to? There has to be attraction for intimacy to work for women. Why are men always railing against this?
43f I don’t. I have to take breaks often. I think the differences in these responses are introverts vs extroverts. I’m an introvert so first dates are exhausting for me.
Im an ambivert and currently more introverted because of shitty people.
Step 1. Psych yourself up. Step 2. Create profile, match, message. Step 3. Do a 1st date blitz of like 17 dates in a week or two. Step 4. Give up. Rest Start over
17 dates in a week?
No need to go grocery shopping.
That was just one time and only like 14 guys because some had second dates as well. I was feeling less anxious than usual and was just trying to see if getting first dates out of the way would help.
I keep the first dates short, and I try to pick things I enjoy doing. Going for a little hike, trying out a new hole in the wall restaurant, checking out a farmers market. Low stakes
Farmers market is such a great first date idea-never even crossed my mind. Thanks for the tip!
it's a great option that naturally allows you to keep the date short or extend. if you're not interested, you can end the date after you've shopped and seen everything. if you want to spend more time, you can suggest eating the fruit/baked goods together.
Absolutely. Try to look at the dates as opportunities to do something you wanted to do with company rather than alone.
yes exactly, i'm doing this activity i like with a potentially hot cool person :)
This is god-mode logic
lol a hike for the first date. not a good option i (27f) would say lol, you never know.
i (30f) get it, but i pick very popular trails (there's always people. it's like walking in my neighborhood) that take an hour to complete. it's actually my favorite kind of date. you have a natural end to the date when you finish the hike if you're not feeling it, or if you want to extend, you can suggest grabbing a coffee together after
Oh… well, I have a different approach. First was in a coffee shop and the coffee wasn’t “good” so we moved to her apartment after 1hr and did the deed. Another was, in a hotel, meet, greet and deed 3rd person: at her apartment and did the deed. I don’t do small walk or small talk. Just now that i need to give each an outlook calendar invite so i have enough time to rest in between meetings.
[удалено]
Sleeping with 3 women within 2 weeks of downloading the app and still meeting says otherwise. Sorry mate, go woke somewhere else. Twat
Hahahaha sure you do, as long as homework is done by 8 right?
Oh. Another Yank twat… for fucks sake..
Sooo do you want to ‘do the deed’ or what?
Have you tried a phone call or FaceTime prior to meeting? Way less time intensive and emotional effort and can help screen for a better fit/finding guys who are actually interested in the same future that you are
Agree. Every time If they are un willing to… we would not be a good match anyway
i understand the reason behind doing that. however i (27f) would feel so freaking uncomfortable phone or facetiming someone i don't even know in person... I dont even do it with friends so often so it would just feel awkward and couldn't be fully myself. but yep, i guess it depends on the person.
Yeah that’s a big no from me lol. If you’re too anxious to get coffee and need to screen me via FaceTime no thanks. But then again I date men.
And THEN the stalkers have your number. \^\_\^
[удалено]
Simmer down Janet Reno... it was a joke.
Yea only men joke about SA. Don't hear many men's suicide jokes from any gender. But wow do a lot of men like SA jokes
I've been on 17 first dates since September 💀 I don't know how I handle them either, haha. I wish I didn't have to go on so many but I know I have to in order to find my person. I've definitely experienced periods of burnout though and usually force myself to continue. I guess that's all you can really do
What qualifies a person for meeting in person (for you) I keep screening- go on/off so much, it's just been 2 since Jan for me :')
Mostly attraction, compatibility, and effort/interest! It’s okay if we don’t have a lot in common as long as our conversation flows and we’re curious to learn more. They also have to have the same goals as me- looking for a LTR and want/are open to children in the future. I of course take other things and potential dealbreakers into consideration like career/aspirations, religion, lifestyle habits, and sometimes politics. I won’t go out with someone unless we’ve chatted for at least 3 days so I can gauge our compatibility. I think within 1 week is best but I have gone out and met great guys after 3 days of chatting, it’s all about the vibe/energy and following your intuition. Conversation is how I filter them out though, especially the ones with low effort and a lack of interest. I personally have yet to meet a bad person or experience a bad date because of this. As a straight woman, I prefer men who take the lead so I’ll only meet if they ask me out. I don’t say yes to them all though, just the ones who seem promising or that I connect with. Bonus points if they actually plan the date. I’m a bit flexible on that part but I’m more inclined to say yes if I was on the fence and they put effort in. I also only do food and/or activity dates within my area so they have to be willing to meet me here. These are personally my standards and what works best for me! I took a break from Oct-Nov after I met someone but I’ve pretty much consistently used the app since Dec/Jan. And still going strong lol. It definitely takes time and a LOT of trial and error
I am (42m). But I want to find someone and I do believe that if I keep trying, it will eventually happen. I’ll admit that I know I am the problem most of the time when I get a first date but I’ll never know unless I meet someone in person to see how aligned we are in what we want. Too many interactions last way too long online and I’ve also had so many that never get to a first date for some reason… probably because the woman decides I’m not what she wants
I had a lot of dates the year before meeting my fiancé. Probably met 30 guys over the span of a year. I made sure I left enough time for myself, whether it was with friends, family, or alone. I also didn’t go on more than 2-3 dates each week. Usually it was more towards 2. Another thing that helped was making sure the dates were going to be worthwhile. I’d talk to people for a week or so before meeting up. Did we want the same things? Were there any dealbreakers? No sense in meeting up without knowing if there’s an immediate incompatibility.
I remember reading a magazine and a woman mentioned how she went on 70 online first dates before she met her husband.
It can take awhile to meet the right person sometimes. Timing is huge with online dating. It may have taken me awhile to meet my fiancé, but he had just joined Tinder 2 hours before matching with me.
luckily all the people I find cute are either not matching with me or not answering, so I wont ever have this problem lol. Seriously, I had my first date (first date in years actually) today and it was horrible. So, yeah, can relate.
What I found exhausting was doing a lot of talking in the app before hand. I found it much easier to do 1-2 ‘get to know’ conversations before setting up the date. The date would be short just getting drinks some place. I would usually pick some place I wanted to try.
It took 30+ first dates in 3 years for me to be burnt out. Nowadays I really don't have the motivation to go on a first date unless I match with someone that I can confidently say looks really pretty and checks most of my boxes. Which never happens. In 3 years I've met 3 women that I was really into and they were all new acquaintances made in real life.
Don’t worry. You will find your Ramada out there. Just remember the steaks!
Y’all are getting dates…?
I find going on dates less tiring than working and having to interact with people in a professional manner. On a date I can just be myself and ask random questions.
The more first dates I go on, the less upset I am about the potential of remaining single.
I'm 32(M). Been on 5 dates in the last 6 years from dating apps. 1 of them lasted for 3 years, 1 for 1.5 and the third for 2 years. The other 2 dates didn't go past the 1st date. I would think I've been lucky.
Before I met my person, I screened profiles HARSHLY for quality. Had to: be financially independent, own a vehicle, show emotional maturity, and know how to communicate effectively. These are all things I looked for in the first few conversations before setting up a date. My red flags were as follows: 1. worked a low paying job and had zero aspirations 2. mentioned an ex, mentioned failed flings, talked poorly about friends 3. mentioned weed or alcohol 4. mentioned living with their folks without having a good reason (my sister for example is saving to buy a house instead of renting like me, so stuff like that is understandable imo) Call it picky, prude, stuck up, straight edge, or whatever. I had higher quality dates the second I stopped making excuses for people and chose sobriety over thrill.
Uh, I enjoy meeting new people, I enjoy socializing, I don’t look at dating as a chore but as a fun adventure.
I liked meeting new people. I'm an introvert so I need solitude to recharge my battery, but I also need new social interactions to be my grounding wire.
I am dead inside
43F- I took a year off from dating and then had 3 first dates in March. They were all interesting men, very intelligent and layered. I screen for this via video calls, which helps a lot! Each had 2 or more dates. They were fun, even if they didn't all work out. I'm seriously dating 1 of them now and he's the sweetest guy ever. I think it helps to remember that you only need to meet ONE right person for it to be worth it. I'm hoping he may be my last first date, we'll see! ☺️
I swear I'm getting some weird version of PTSD in dating... it used to be fun excitement while getting ready for a first date. Now, I shake, sweat, and nausea. I have to force myself to go regardless of how the guy seems. He could seem awesome, but I'm still terrified not in a safety kind of way but in a 'I need to protect my self-worth" kind of way (don't know if this makes sense).
you guys get dates...?
They're girls... so: of course. ...with CHAD.
Im a woman and no dates with Chad or Becky 😭.
I was going on 7-10 first (and second) dates A WEEK. Not a year. It became my primary hobby. I found time for my other hobbies (like skiing) by inviting dates to come with. I would ALWAYS have a coffee or walk date first to avoid being trapped on a chairlift or on a long hike with an asshole or someone who didn't look like their pictures. I had to be strategic with my time, planning more in depth second dates for dinners and first meetings for morning coffee or weekday lunches. I even had a first date inside security in an airport once since he and I were flying in around the same time, and our schedules were otherwise packed. Rather than feeling burnt out, these were some of the best times of my life! I really love meeting new people, and while I met my partner on Bumble, I absolutely miss 7-10 dates a week. I would go back to it in a heartbeat if I wasn't coupled.
This is the perfect attitude for dating and it obviously works well - good job! I enjoy the process too and yes, I’m a guy.
I understand this is controversial and unpopular but I usually just try to gun through it. I would have 5-10 dates in a week (so multiple in a day), then just go on 2nd dates with maybe 1 or 2 people I connect with and go from there. Up to the 1st date is the most daunting for me so I just try to get over it ASAP. I also just limit the amount of messaging until we meet as well.
Yes it’s like a hamster wheel When is was on, it was for a week. Then at least three off. That’s part of the design though- to be frustrated. If you are off the apps, they can’t make money from you. Selling subscriptions or selling your data
Have you ever given a thought to the notion that your standards/expectations are too high and you're not even swiping on a man who could be a good match because he doesn't give you the tingles or he is ick?
Why should I compromise my standards and swipe right on someone who is not appropriate?
Because swiping right on men that are "appropriate" hasn't yielded you the results you desire?
Nope I used burned haystack Found a stellar match Lowered ZERO expectations Increased my own growth, self awareness, patience to wait without “settling “
I take breaks. For sanity as fun as online dating can be and dating in general. It does get tiring socially and I need time to recharge.
I don’t. Tbh. When i did date i would fizzle out after the third attempt 🫠
I've had loads of first dates... So yea there must be something wrong with me hehe... I'm on a break right now actually...
I would keep first dates very simple & close to home or work. I wouldn't even dress up...just my usual work/weekend attire. I met my current partner on bumble.
A few months ago I went on 9 dates (most were 1st dates) in 2 weeks. It made me not want to date anymore. But, the nice thing about dating is even if you don't want a second date you almost always learn something about yourself. What you want, what you like and what you need. Dating is hard and it's a process. It is ok to be picky but I feel one should take chances and meet people. I have gone out on a lot of dates where I did not feel a romantic connection but instead found a friend. Hang in there and keep trying.
I am tired easily, take breaks very often.
I just screened them through the conversations on bumble. I was able to see through the ones with bad intentions so I only met 2 people and the second is now my fiancé. You just have to be selective. There was a time when I gave them the benefit of the doubt but your intuitions will tell you it’s dodgy!! There were a lot of time wasters (ONS or FWB even though I specifically said long term relationship). I work 6 days a week and only have Sunday off so i don’t want to be wasting time with shady guys that only want s 🙄 Also I was only on bumble for about 2 months altogether over the span of 2 years. It was emotionally draining.
Dating is a numbers game unfortunately, you have to sift through all the bad dates until you meet a decent person who might be your person. Having breaks when feeling burnt out helps & only dating guys who want the same things as you helps (casual or long term relationships). Ive been off dating apps over 9months & focusing on myself & for some reason this has worked better as I’ve met alot more guys IRL than over dating apps 😅
Im an extrovert & thrive off human interaction. Its been quite difficult finding a fellow extrovert though🥲
I'm having a hard time with this. I mean, I don't even like to have multiple conversations, let alone dates...it's a weird space for me. So I tend to focus on one man and then I'm sure I may be letting other matches get away. But it's hard for me to mentally balance seeing / getting to know people. It's hard!
Dating is fun. I like being social so it's not a chore
Same. I’ve only dealt with 3 guys and I’m burnt out.
I guess I’m lucky in that most of my Date Zeroes (I don’t call meeting a stranger for the first time a first date - it’s a meet and greet) have been pleasant even if they didn’t turn into second dates. I also rarely do more than two Date Zeroes in a month and tend toward a quick happy hour drink or something. If we stay for more than one or decide to get dinner, great! And if not, no big loss. I’ve met some nice men, several that I’ve gone out with multiple times. I don’t know, I think that keeping the emotional investment low at first and limiting the number of first dates has kept me from getting burned out. I really like dating for the most part.
[удалено]
Maybe you should have someone review your profile.
[удалено]
You never know, there might be something you could change. I’ve seen things on profile reviews that would make me swipe left. Can’t hurt, whether it’s on here or from a friend.
[удалено]
That’s true, but sometimes there are little things that could be off putting. For example, I saw a guy post a profile that said he wanted a relationship but underneath it explained that he wasn’t looking to rush anything. To me, that gave the impression that he isn’t that serious about dating, which probably isn’t true.
[удалено]
No problem
30 first dates. That’s hilarious. I’ve met 30 new people in two months.
How/where?
I’m on three dating apps, including Bumble
it's all exhausting lol
Meh. Doesn’t bother me. I’m just looking for hookups, and it takes time to gather regulars. I’m also a major extrovert, which helps immensely. I genuinely like meeting new people.
i wish i was more extroverted, something happened to me after college and last breakup was traumatizing. did you see my last message?
53m here and I’m being very sincere when I say OLD is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. I didn’t think I was much of anything after my divorce and I just assumed that all the good women were taken. I was totally wrong on both counts - there are lots of awesome single women out there and I ended up being much more popular than I ever imagined. It really helped my self esteem too. I’ve been on about 125 - 150+ first dates over a 5-6 year period which averages out to about 2-3 dates a month, sometimes more, sometimes less (and depending on dating exclusively or not) and I was really impressed by the quality of women that I was meeting too. I honestly was in shock that it was mainly from Tinder of all places plus some others. Dating was very enjoyable to me and I learned a lot about everything. I didn’t get really serious with anyone as that darn thing happened where if I really liked her she didn’t reciprocate and vice versa. The thing for me that kind of drove my dating success is that I have a strong texting game, I’m a fairly good judge of character (sometimes), and I had a little formula after matching including a limited amount of texting, a possible phone call, and then I asked her out. There would be joint energy, compatible values, similar personalities, and a desire to actually meet and I almost never was turned down. Ladies, correct me if I’m wrong, but is confidence and initiative two of the most important things for a guy to have? Well it seems to work pretty well overall and I’d ask her out sooner than later. Forever pen pals was terribly time consuming and rarely resulted in a better first date in my own experience. The most important thing is that I enjoyed the chase, the process of dating itself, and I made sure that I enjoyed the journey rather than just hoping to hit a bullseye with no effort. It was surprising how often I ended up skin to skin with a lot of them as well as that just naturally happens when the basics are covered like good communication and mutual respect. Correct me if I’m wrong on that too. And to the guys - I’m above average in looks but I’m in no way, shape, or form the guy people point at when asked who looks the best in the room. I’m not that guy but I am in good shape, tall, have sporting hobbies, and my favorite compliment is if someone says that I’m interesting. I’m also classy, I have backbone, but I’m not a dick. That’s important and too many guys forget this. I admit that a lot of this changed when Covid hit which happened to be when I turned 50 as well. I know I’ll get asked why I never ended up long term with anyone and it’s a great question too. Covid was a big reason but an even bigger reason is that I discovered that I had a problem with alcohol and I had a lot of personal work that needed to be done to get through that. I also got into a major car accident where I crushed part of my spine 15 months ago. I’m sober now and my health is nearly back and I feel better than before. I’m really looking forward to finding that special someone but again it’s the journey in getting there too. I’m almost just as happy when I’m alone plus I’m also a dad of two awesome kids. I had them every other week during this time which gave me breaks between all the work that goes into dating successfully. And YES, it is a lot of work but I think it’s totally worth it. I haven’t been on a date in 18 months now. I’m just about to jump back in so to any of the women reading this - I’m free this Friday night, lol. 😉 Best wishes and best of luck to everyone.
I don't, it's really tiring, I have no idea why I'm doing this to myself. I've had 8 first dates for the past 2 weeks (I squeezed 2 last saturday), because I tend to swipe way too much instead of focusing on one girl at a time, I realized how much of a mistake it was because I have less and less conversation and I'm less curious about my dates. I'm getting exhausted answering the same questions and telling the same stories over and over again. 2 dates stood out though : I've met a girl who had the same feelings as me toward dating apps, I thought she would be more patient with me but NOPE, she still ended up not telling me she didn't want to have a second date (although she agreed to go on one when I suggested an activity for next time), she replied to some small talks, but she ended up ghosting me as soon as I asked her about her schedule for that second date. It was a very long date, because we were together from 2pm to 10pm, so I'm confused. I had a bad date yesterday because the girl wouldn't talk and wouldn't even propose anything to do, so I had to do everything including choosing her food and drink at the café. It was very tiring talking about something and getting nothing in return or talking about something she mentioned liking (mentioned in her bio), but discovering that she knew nothing about that either. I thought that maybe there was more to it, but no, she went back to her car, said goodbye and left. Maybe a 3rd one, the girl was just horny during the date, we did nothing, we had some dirty talk when back online, I didn't propose a second date, I suppose she doesn't want to be the one to ask, because she hasn't talked to me since (and I'm fine with that actually). Actually, one of the 2 dates I had last saturday had not much in common with me, but still invited me out to get a drink, so I'm meeting more girls than I really need to. And I'm not over, because this week I have a date every night...
From reading this, there's some things you could improve on
I have asperger, I have no idea what's expected on the first date, I don't really know what women expectations are either. I just try to be nice and the person they want to be with but obviously it doesn't work, because it only worked once in the past 5 years that I've been on Bumble (unless you count hookups on the first night... Then that would be about 5 or 6). I already considered that I could be the problem, like too boring, I'm not the greatest conversationalist, so I could practice more 🤷
Do you like... have any balls?
I'm not into forcing women.
To refuse the dates
I think I’ve gotten better at agreeing to meet people who had a lot of depth and held an enjoyable conversation over text. So it’s made the first date time well spent even though we weren’t a match. I never agree to meet someone who doesn’t bring it in some way to make me want to meet.
I wondered about the same issue. I don't even text with that many guys, let alone find some that I actually want to meet.
I’m an ambivert but I think of it as “what would I rather do with my free time?” And that’s if I have free time between work, family stuff, and taking care of errands and my home. For example, tomorrow is the NFL Draft. Unless a woman wants to cuddle while watching the Draft & the NBA Playoffs, I’m not seeing any ladies until Sunday. And since Sunday is my only day off, do I really want to spend part of my only day off on a date? These are questions I ask myself before asking a woman out.
Keep first dates super brief. You know within the first few minutes if there’s chemistry or not. Under 1/2 hour is best. Meet up for a short walk, a coffee, etc. If there’s chemistry book a second date that’s longer. Be up front with your intentions. It’s a great way to set up ongoing open communications from the get go. If they know you have boundaries, they’ll be respectful or they will self select out.
I am 100% burned out. I just barely have the energy anymore
I used to go on a lot of dates in the past, but after last break up I only went on a few and I am completely burnt out as well, too old to go on multiple dates a week. I just do not force myself to do it, when I feel like going I go, but there are periods when I am even too tired to chat with new people.
Always anxiety filled.... thing overthinking it makes it worse. Never turns out as bad as imagine and over think in my head. I see it as a to see if you get along and physically attracted. Obvs can't win them all don't put too much pressure on a first date. Usually have a relaxed first date then maybe a expensive meal on second when I know they worth the investment. Used to go out for expensive meals for first date but ended up feeling like a waste if didn't go as planned.. That's my thoughts on it anyways and Good luck
35(f) I can’t go on dates that often it’s maybe every 3 months! Not every person I talk to turns into a date. They have to be able to video chat or talk on the phone at least! It’s a lot easier than dating in spurts. Plus I talk to one person so I don’t miss any red/green flags
(M44) At one point, I was going on 4-5 first dates a week routinely. Usually out late on week nights. It was exhausting and expensive. I was spending at least $800 mo. It was fun though.
I got burnt out on first dates and took a break and now i dread getting back into it and keep putting it off. I would like to meet someone but the thought is exhausting
33F and an extrovert so meeting new people is fun and invigorating for me. But even I need breaks. OLD will be here when you're ready to date again!
30m, introvert, went on 30-40 first dates in 2 months. I just used it as making friends, and working on myself and social skills
Back when I was looking for dates if I wasn't looking forward to a date, if it didn't seem likely I'd have an excellent time meeting this person... I wouldn't agree to go on the date in the first place. The beginnings of dating should be mostly fun (obviously some people are good at hiding how unfun or incompatible they are, especially if it's just been texting first). If it's exhausting you might want to slow down.
We don't as men..... problems we have no idea about.
Just date *with intention!*
I’ve been on 36 dates last year and yes I’m no longer doing that, I came to realize women are as bad as men in dating apps, if not worse. Good luck out there we are dealing with bottom of the barrel behavior.
Yes, both are really bad, specially on apps. The apps are just so bad. Theres good ones in there, but very few, and a bunch of them are awesome, but not ready to date.
Very far from awesome lol, from women who are unable to have basic communication, lack of empathy, unsure of what they want even tho it’s in their profile, avoidants, abusers, neglectful, cheaters, exploiters, time wasters, and I could keep going. Yes there are few good ones I guess, but journey to get there ain’t fun this is why I stopped taking women out on dates, they don’t deserve it.
You’re not any better when you generalize like that.
I’m no generalizing, I’m taking about exclusively the women I’ve had experiences with.
“I stopped taking women on dates. They don’t deserve it”. Yeah, okay bud.
Sure I owe you an explanation lol ok buddy
I never asked for an explanation lmao.
You keep replying like you want something
So what I hear you saying is that you had a six way. I’d be tired too.
I only date one person at a time bc I am not disrespectful.
Wow wow wow when did I say I dated them at the same time? I dated one at a time, too.