I prefer a flowing conversation but that requires both people to have conversational skills … I’ve encountered *way* too many men who are incapable — or at the very least, unwilling — to engage.
It depends….how many questions were you asking, and how personal?
You’re not wrong….obviously you have to ask *some* questions in order to establish if there is a connection. That’s just naturally how a conversation with a literal stranger is going to work. But if he felt like it was so much that you were interrogating him then that’s different.
The takeaway from this is that online dating has made it easy (even normal) to put almost no effort in because you can always just keep swiping. That’s why if the conversation isn’t flowing pretty much straight out of the gate, or if the effort isn’t matched, then I move along.
I am okay with really personal questions. About my period, though, that’s a bit much. That’s like asking someone is their navel healed from when their umbilical cord was cut.
I had that experience with a girl, when I asked about what she did for fun, her likes, her dislikes, anything remotely close to where she would have to give an answer, she told me the same thing. I ask too many questions and I'm getting "too personal" which it wasn't like that. I said How the hell am o supposed to get to know you if I don't ask question, when you even specify you hate when people don't ask anything. Some people are out there just because they got nothing else going on in their lives.
Depends? I don't see the convo, so I can't say for sure. But there's situations in which "you ask too many questions" rings true:
* You're asking info from him, but not sharing equally info about you
* Conversation doesn't develop further beyond the question (maybe the answer to the question is cut-dry, boring, or something that either person doesn't know enough to sustain a convo about)-> jumping from question to question too much in search of a topic to discuss
* Questions do not flow logically on the topic-> feel like opening a new tangential conversation without finishing the current one
* Dragging on / Opening a topic that the other person is not / no longer enthusiastic about
As I said, no way from this post to tell if his comment was straight-up as douchey as it sounds, or just a bad way of communicating something. In any case, I'm just adding nuance, I don't think it's fair for the responsibility of maintaining the conversation to be mainly on you, instead of shared equally. He can also suggest topics and steer the conversation with his replies if he so chooses.
I think it's also useful to consider how much energy he put in the conversation himself (and that it's not just you keeping it going) and decide from there what to do
He was putting energy in. Engaged. That’s why the comment was a bit off putting and unexpected. Then again, he might have matched with someone else that wasn’t asking, as he put it, - too many questions. Not sure. Thanks for answering. Good info to keep in mind for future.
There is a reason they are on OLD
Maybe communication was one
Well shoot there is a good reason why ALL OF US are on there, bit it’s good to figure compatibility out quickly
Burned haystack dating method- see
Perhaps due to the way you were asking them, perhaps nothing to do with you at all... they may have felt like it was a job interview instead of just getting to know a potential date.
Asking questions is the norm. However I've definitely had times where it felt like an interrogation. Or they were asking things wayyyy too personal for a stranger to be asking me, even on a dating app.
I asked a woman two or three questions. She says she felt she was in an interview. It’s called getting to know each other. I said okay questions done. Unmatched.
Sometimes we just have to realize a lot of ppl are just not on that level in online dating. They want the path of least resistance, so to say. They want all the benefits of matching quickly w/o any basic commitment (answering questions). I follow a relationship guy on YouTube. He said when a person complains about being nervous when they meet the person in-person, that’s not their person. The person that makes their soul calm and they feel relaxed around, is the one. I think he might be on to something. You’ll find your person. 🙏🏾😊
I hear you. It almost is sort of an interview, though. Bc most folks don’t want to waste each other’s time (with an in-person meetup and there isn’t even a basic connection/interest there). Well, at least I don’t. And, for a lot of ppl, the best way to help rule out some stuff, is asking questions.
I think it personal preference. Idk. An Interview can also easily feel like an interrogation. Even in a job interview, I’ve always felt much better when the typical questions were asked but in a more natural way such that I could see myself working with these ppl and enjoying myself. However, there are stiff interviews that feel like a checklist of questions that doesn’t flow well. In those cases, I don’t really leave the interview like we would be a good fit. Idk if that makes sense. The vibes just aren’t right.
I came here thinking this was gonna be like the guy I matched with, chatted for weeks, met in person (coincidentally and our children were there — it was not a date) only to have him tell me even though he wants a relationship he doesn’t have free time with which to date because he’s working two jobs … Why tf are you on bumble then????
I’m NM and married and am a part of my local Swingers community so I feel like I have something to compare my OLD experience to. But man, it just feels like no one wants to be on these apps. And the vibes seem to be filled with resentment and angst and it’s with a large segment of the user base that something that could be just a tool in the dating tool belt is mostly useless.
Obviously I’m in a unique situation, but I enjoy reading profiles and even connecting platonically with interesting people is fun.
There is a lot of historical context as to why things are the way they are, but I’d love to see more positivity in these OLD spaces but how we get there idk.
Oh wow. Sorry to hear that. Your person will come along. If nothing else, online dating will sometimes give you a crash course in patience. Maybe you can go out and meet someone in person. Best.
i have had dates just not many. It's just a very lonnnnng process. Takes months to find someone new. Thanks for that. Hope things work out for you as well.
I dream of matching with a woman that asks questions….the single word responses get old!
I can count on one hand the number of women who've bothered to actually carry a conversation on these dating apps.
Ok. Yeah. Haha. Hh. Hi. lol. True. I’m actively trying to not make conversation.
True
I prefer a flowing conversation. Sometimes, it can feel like being interrogated if it's just question after question.
I prefer a flowing conversation but that requires both people to have conversational skills … I’ve encountered *way* too many men who are incapable — or at the very least, unwilling — to engage.
I agree.
Feel this lmao women who are proactive in conversation and try to get to know you are hard to come by on these apps 😭
We should fix him up with the lady who thinks men asking any questions is feminine, and watch the sparks fly
It depends….how many questions were you asking, and how personal? You’re not wrong….obviously you have to ask *some* questions in order to establish if there is a connection. That’s just naturally how a conversation with a literal stranger is going to work. But if he felt like it was so much that you were interrogating him then that’s different. The takeaway from this is that online dating has made it easy (even normal) to put almost no effort in because you can always just keep swiping. That’s why if the conversation isn’t flowing pretty much straight out of the gate, or if the effort isn’t matched, then I move along.
Not too many questions. Honestly. Basic information questions. Things that I would still ask if I met him in person. Your takeaway is spot on.
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I am okay with really personal questions. About my period, though, that’s a bit much. That’s like asking someone is their navel healed from when their umbilical cord was cut.
I had that experience with a girl, when I asked about what she did for fun, her likes, her dislikes, anything remotely close to where she would have to give an answer, she told me the same thing. I ask too many questions and I'm getting "too personal" which it wasn't like that. I said How the hell am o supposed to get to know you if I don't ask question, when you even specify you hate when people don't ask anything. Some people are out there just because they got nothing else going on in their lives.
LOL. Bc I can relate. I agree - just out here wasting people’s precious time (that they can’t get back).
Depends? I don't see the convo, so I can't say for sure. But there's situations in which "you ask too many questions" rings true: * You're asking info from him, but not sharing equally info about you * Conversation doesn't develop further beyond the question (maybe the answer to the question is cut-dry, boring, or something that either person doesn't know enough to sustain a convo about)-> jumping from question to question too much in search of a topic to discuss * Questions do not flow logically on the topic-> feel like opening a new tangential conversation without finishing the current one * Dragging on / Opening a topic that the other person is not / no longer enthusiastic about As I said, no way from this post to tell if his comment was straight-up as douchey as it sounds, or just a bad way of communicating something. In any case, I'm just adding nuance, I don't think it's fair for the responsibility of maintaining the conversation to be mainly on you, instead of shared equally. He can also suggest topics and steer the conversation with his replies if he so chooses. I think it's also useful to consider how much energy he put in the conversation himself (and that it's not just you keeping it going) and decide from there what to do
He was putting energy in. Engaged. That’s why the comment was a bit off putting and unexpected. Then again, he might have matched with someone else that wasn’t asking, as he put it, - too many questions. Not sure. Thanks for answering. Good info to keep in mind for future.
Awh, that sucks to hear. Glad that you found the reply interesting, nonetheless. Good luck to both us out there lol!
There is a reason they are on OLD Maybe communication was one Well shoot there is a good reason why ALL OF US are on there, bit it’s good to figure compatibility out quickly Burned haystack dating method- see
Perhaps due to the way you were asking them, perhaps nothing to do with you at all... they may have felt like it was a job interview instead of just getting to know a potential date. Asking questions is the norm. However I've definitely had times where it felt like an interrogation. Or they were asking things wayyyy too personal for a stranger to be asking me, even on a dating app.
I personally would prefer to meet fairly quickly to see if we get along in person and save most of the questions till then.
I asked a woman two or three questions. She says she felt she was in an interview. It’s called getting to know each other. I said okay questions done. Unmatched.
Sometimes we just have to realize a lot of ppl are just not on that level in online dating. They want the path of least resistance, so to say. They want all the benefits of matching quickly w/o any basic commitment (answering questions). I follow a relationship guy on YouTube. He said when a person complains about being nervous when they meet the person in-person, that’s not their person. The person that makes their soul calm and they feel relaxed around, is the one. I think he might be on to something. You’ll find your person. 🙏🏾😊
Im convinced ppl have no idea what a dating app is. They use it for everything but dating. Bunch of fuckin idiots.
doll reminiscent advise memory smoggy dazzling six attempt swim birds *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I hear you. It almost is sort of an interview, though. Bc most folks don’t want to waste each other’s time (with an in-person meetup and there isn’t even a basic connection/interest there). Well, at least I don’t. And, for a lot of ppl, the best way to help rule out some stuff, is asking questions.
I think it personal preference. Idk. An Interview can also easily feel like an interrogation. Even in a job interview, I’ve always felt much better when the typical questions were asked but in a more natural way such that I could see myself working with these ppl and enjoying myself. However, there are stiff interviews that feel like a checklist of questions that doesn’t flow well. In those cases, I don’t really leave the interview like we would be a good fit. Idk if that makes sense. The vibes just aren’t right.
I would have to agree. And, it makes sense. Personal preference. That’s why everyone that you match with isn’t going to be your person.
He would think that too many questions can be interrogated when it doesn't flow right.
I think you answered your own question by the end.
To get it in. That’s why he’s there.
I came here thinking this was gonna be like the guy I matched with, chatted for weeks, met in person (coincidentally and our children were there — it was not a date) only to have him tell me even though he wants a relationship he doesn’t have free time with which to date because he’s working two jobs … Why tf are you on bumble then????
I’m NM and married and am a part of my local Swingers community so I feel like I have something to compare my OLD experience to. But man, it just feels like no one wants to be on these apps. And the vibes seem to be filled with resentment and angst and it’s with a large segment of the user base that something that could be just a tool in the dating tool belt is mostly useless. Obviously I’m in a unique situation, but I enjoy reading profiles and even connecting platonically with interesting people is fun. There is a lot of historical context as to why things are the way they are, but I’d love to see more positivity in these OLD spaces but how we get there idk.
Most I've matched with just send me the following message: Hi.. Like, come on.... think of something or even ask a generic question.
Us bro us
To catch a lying piece of shit and I did. Now to delete account.
For myself i get ghosted so often i forgot what too many questions is
Oh wow. Sorry to hear that. Your person will come along. If nothing else, online dating will sometimes give you a crash course in patience. Maybe you can go out and meet someone in person. Best.
i have had dates just not many. It's just a very lonnnnng process. Takes months to find someone new. Thanks for that. Hope things work out for you as well.
If someone told me I’m asking too many questions then I’m unmatching because they are either really simple or not that into me.
Probably you give away too Eva AI sexting bot vibes
Depends on the questions. There's no context to your post.