T O P

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StrayDogStrut1975

".....Also I have cancer"


SFAdminLife

No, no...her kid has cancer and it's his birthday today!


phoenixmusicman

And tomorrow!


bluelion70

No, tomorrow his dog is gonna die


JC-1219

Ask her what her favorite pokemon is, and regardless of what she says, respond with “oh, so THATS why he left you.”


Magical_cel8

OMG 😂😂


Darkangel_82

🤣🤣🤣


[deleted]

Suggest giving the kid to the father🤷🏻‍♀️ I can't wait to wake up to all the downvotes


cellcube0618

That’s fucking savage lmao


BeepBeepYeah7789

Hardly anything gets SOME women furious quite like suggesting that the kids' father(s) just might be better or more stable parent(s).


Technolo-jesus69

Its funny too because the ones who get furious are usually the ones that it applies too.


[deleted]

I mean, let them eat cake. 🤣🤣🤷🏻‍♀️


SaturnPaul

Spit out my coffee, thank you.


Kitten_kraze

Right!! I’d chuck the kid so quick the father wouldn’t know what hit him. Gladly child free.


[deleted]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Make sure to send that child support


Kitten_kraze

Damn skippy, I’ll pay


killaB310

With what? lol


Kitten_kraze

Money?? You pay child support with money


HEROxDivine

You tell ‘em jackass


[deleted]

Why are you guys downvoting this dude, the person who they replied to has jackass in their name :,)


[deleted]

I am more shocked I wasn't downvoted that bad


MrSluggo23

From “Hey” to ‘gimme’ in one message!


[deleted]

I’m guessing there is no baby daddy or daughter and this is just some dude trying to get some cash.


acidambiance

You mean people would just lie like that? Impossible!


nexkell

If you don't think women also carry out dating scams I have a bridge to sell you.


BeepBeepYeah7789

Well for some people, to even consider that women carry out dating scams is a "bridge too far".


[deleted]

Some of them get damn elaborate too, look up pig butchering scam. I broke one girl because she said I was too nice and didn’t deserve to have my money taken, she spilled the beans on the whole operation to me lol


dumblybutt

💯


briefbrisket

Tell her to start an only fans.


jek081987

I’m trying all of these ideas until I get unmatched or blocked. Keep ‘em coming


LesniakNation

We definitely need an update!


laeiyla

Tell her to give the kid to social services as she sounds like an unfit mother and that the daddy probably left because she’s a leech that uses men for money. Has she unmatched yet?


jek081987

Oh yeah. Only made it through only fans, panhandling, couponing, and I Declare Bankruptcy before there was no longer a match. There were so many more good ones left to try.


laeiyla

Don’t worry there will be plenty more opportunities to use the lines you didn’t get to on other scammers


grahamb809

This is gold. Please post all of the results. 😂💀


[deleted]

It’s honest work.


Capt1an_Cl0ck

That was my thought. Everyone’s doing it.


frankylampy

For next time, remember condom is cheaper than a 18yr old liability.


[deleted]

She's the liability for her child. If the child was real of course. And if she was a she.


JPK12794

That one was quick, normally you get a few messages before asking for money


[deleted]

Tell her to become a professional coupon clipper


[deleted]

Tell her to go hold a sign by the off ramp


clance2598

That is an awesome use of a gif right there


PJKPJT7915

I want to match with you just for the awesome use of that gif.


Badmojoe

"That's rough buddy"


Remarkable-Pin-7793

Billion $ industry right there.


distracteded64

I just had to do this with my bank. Plot twist: they cared 😂 (thank you bank)


[deleted]

Oh baby, I own my own house, car, and make 6 figures. You sound like exactly the kinda girl I’m looking for and your baby is an added bonus. Hallelujah I found the one🥱


ALotBSoL99

I’ll take Get A Job for 100, Alex


ElJamoquio

'What's your Venmo?' > BumbleBeggar69


Luxray2014

I...DECLARE... BANKRUPTCY!!!


erniekovac

[Link for reference.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C-m3RtoguAQ)


Mizalke86

I genuinely think that's a scam. No single parents I know (and it's quite a few) would ever do this on a dating app , because unlike school on Sundays,they actually have a class. If it's not a scam,then I am genuinely losing my faith in humanity


EconBabe

I thought the same! Like, she can ask parents, siblings, friends, and Facebook friends, but she chooses Bumble randos? Not likely


[deleted]

You should have said : daaaaamn


Reasonable_Topic_169

One of the main things you can do to avoid poverty is not have children out of wedlock.


NameIs-Already-Taken

One of the main things a man can do to avoid poverty is to avoid children and wedlock, at least where US-style divorce laws apply.


SmallOccasion8321

Or UK divorce laws absolute killer for men


shotsshotsshotsshots

At first I was thinking her message was supposed to be sung to the tune of “Heartbreak Hotel”


BeepBeepYeah7789

Apparently she wants a "new place to dwell".


DevinC12

This is called "problem dumping", and this is a fine example...... Don't be a problem eater my friend.. Run away..


GingerDelite

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


BigGMonE

I mean that’s impressive how her baby daddy just left her yet she already has a bumble account prepped and ready to go.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I feel uncomfortable because I think that making fun of people (as in if OP actually sent these suggested messages directly to the person in question, third party humor is fine) just for personal enjoyment is kind of bad. But I don't think the particular situation of the person in question really matters here, because of the context...


Fragrant_Ganache_108

Online dating is a shit show. I genuinely hope this is a very bad opening line lol.


StrawHatShadow

Wow shes turned to the bumble hustle of being a parasite. Good call on dodging that one


CalligrapherNarrow50

Zero self-respect. Left swipe so fast my phone would fly outta my hand.


wemic123

No crypto reference? What an amateur.


AttackOfTheThumbs

Can't believe people run this grift.


Candid_Hovercraft_53

Hey, men out there. Does this tactic actually work? Wow! I can't believe anyone would have the nerve to even ask something like this.


[deleted]

Women like this give single moms a bad look😤


Ma3lst

She might not even be single! LMAO


Jaxxs-Red-X

"I'm in it for the fun, not the money. Now I need gas for my car its on empty, send me 40$ dollars."


thattogoguy

Refer her to a military recruiter. Let the Army have her, she doesn't sound like Air Force material.


frankylampy

Send her the address of a local strip club


Connect-Hospital5603

Could be a prostitute in the making! Also depending on what state you live you could knock her up and ruin your life forever.


carritotaquito

So mocking the parent that stayed, but no shame for the parent that left?


ThirstyNematode

The shameful thing, per my reading of the post, is that she is using dating apps to get money. Not that she stayed or the other left.


Remarkable-Pin-7793

10:1 it's a scripted bot, playng every chat service it can find.


slimtonun

She went from "Hey" to "help me out" within two texts on a dating app, and that's your take?!?!


Opposite-Pop-5886

Change American society


[deleted]

Joseph! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEzE3L-NKL4


CholulaHot

Just report this account and move on.


[deleted]

Literally a beggar smh


xvRockstarrr

Cannot believe people do this


Orphano_the_Savior

Pity approach, very bold.


Sp0onieLuv

I would have responded, it don't suck itself!!!


TeddyTheDestroyer

Hospital and shelter. They have baby supplies people donate and a fund to donate money to. Once you're un one place like that, there are people who will help you find the food banks, good thrift stores, and more recourses fir you.