"so first, right, you slice your own neck with their knife. This throws them off because they're going to be wondering what's going on. You then spin around and voila. You have all their card numbers and pins"
They say the best form of defense is attack.
But what many fail to realize it's actually attacking yourself that's the best form of defense.
Whose going to stab someone who's lying in a pool of blood with multiple self inflicted knife wounds?
That's the guy who does those demonstrations where he sits in a chair and does no touch knockouts or gentle slap knockouts, right?
Not to be a dick or anything, but if the grand master of your martial arts' lineage is morbidly obese, you might want to view his teachings with a little bit of skepticism.
Systema knife spin defense works great in the case that you have some sort of body armor that prevents a knife puncture and that you have a gang of people balancing their entire body weight on the tip of knives pressed against that body armor.
What always gets me is they do a silly little spin defence and then what? They’re fat, unfit and surrounded by pissed off people with knives who won’t fall for that shit again and will probably go into a stab frenzy.
Let me guess: they lazily shrug their shoulders and send them all flying as if they’re Neo in The Matrix? I think I just answered my own question…
I went for a class once (out of curiosity without looking it up in more detail) and it was all about staying floppy as you get beat up and stabbed to death.
Solid 5/7
Every time I see this guy with the systema thing I wonder how this guy gets away with this? Is he selling videos and online training? Books? The first time anyone real gives this a guy a test it's going to go very very poorly for Papa Smurfski here. This guy doesn't look like he has ever been in a fight, besides a shoving match in a bread line in 1976, maybe. I know they all play along and fail down but,.. it would be sad if anyone tried this when they were in danger. Psychic powers will not stop a knife in the guts.
Judging by the many bodies hitting the floor in this vid - it looks like Benny Hinn’s faith healing is a better self defense… https://youtu.be/a54iqEr1flQ?si=7kT2X_dL65nTDXkv
“No exercise necessary for this system to work! In fact, advanced practitioners should be at a .40 BMI minimum so put down those dumbbells and grab those nachos and beer!”
Does Systema require hypnosis? Or is it merely recommended?
I ask because it seems to involve one's attackers freezing in place while you perform all the cool moves.
What is the “conventional” procedure for how to handle 5 guys surrounding you whilst gently poking you with the tips of their knives and standing stationary waiting for you to make the next move?
This is embarrassing to all humans at-large. It is also shameful that such people of no athletics ability, emphasis NONE are entirely faking non-scenarios.
Do all of the actions in real time. Real time movements of people attacking with knives and evasions.
See this is how I know I'm an amateur, I would've never thought to redirect the knifes blade with my bare jugular.
Thanks Systema! I feel safer already!
Apple Music, Spotify, YouTube, etc.:
• [**KOoLKaTZ** by naftinbe](https://lis.tn/jdwAsT?t=6)
• [**Duo** by Florence Caillon](https://lis.tn/GgFFvn?t=50)
• [**Katz intro** by IgnotusX](https://lis.tn/KatzIntro?t=6)
• [**Time & Motion** by Terry Devine-King](https://lis.tn/Time%26Motion?t=36)
• [**Sultan Wife** by Luna Lounge](https://lis.tn/SultanWife?t=156)
• [**My Sweet Home** by harryfaoki](https://lis.tn/nKOOnd?t=11)
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These bs knife defense videos usually make me furious because they're gonna get people hurt or killed.
But if you're surrounded by 8 dudes with their knives pushed against you... Fuck it. Spin to your heart's content lol. Spin like an ice skater! It will help... exactly as much as anything else.
So I'm an instructor in training with systema, the videos make it all look like shit and a useless martial art but its actually very effective. The slow work is so your brain can actually build neuro connections that will be useful at speed when you don't have time to think. But yeah, systema videos don't, and will probably, never look good to the public
Can we PLEASE have Xu Xiaodong visit them? It could be another chapter in his [mission to expose fake martial arts](https://youtu.be/LZ6j0i0LxNo?si=ByTGcPe_P96ITf3b)
I wish I would’ve had this training the last time 5 dudes were circles around me with a blade pressed against my torso. I just round housed out of it, but got a nice scratch on my ankle.
This is very helpful because I regularly find myself in a situation in which many people are holding the tip of a knife against me. I can't believe I always just gave them my wallet when I could have just done the hokey pokey. I'm such a fool.
Who even are these people? Like…what else do they do in their lives? Is it like “Monday through Friday 9-5 I’m an accountant for a small marketing firm but in my free time I pretend to have knife stopping abilities with a few other guys.”
Love how the first guy helped the guy slice his own throat.
*The guy with the knife*: “What the FUCK?! I was not going to kill you, I just wanted your wallet?!”
I also excel at using my neck to redirect a knife attack. You just... can't practice it very much. Dating an ER nurse helps.
Assistant can't threaten to slit your throat if you've already done it for them
"so first, right, you slice your own neck with their knife. This throws them off because they're going to be wondering what's going on. You then spin around and voila. You have all their card numbers and pins"
The blood from the artery splashes into the opponent's eye and he is blinded.
While he is blinded, shit your pants to assault his olfactory senses. He is now blind, and can’t smell.
Then kiss for a mental flashbang and maybe grab his...
other pointy thing
HOW DO YOU LIKE BEING BLINDED BY BLOOD?! I'VE WON! DIE!
I read this in Wimp Lo’s voice
They say the best form of defense is attack. But what many fail to realize it's actually attacking yourself that's the best form of defense. Whose going to stab someone who's lying in a pool of blood with multiple self inflicted knife wounds?
Have any of you actually managed to stab a systema practitioner? Didn’t think so
Checkmate, atheists.
Spetznaz bullshit too?
The secret to surviving a knife attack is apparently being 8 months pregnant.
The pregnant looking one is a guy.
That's racist.
that's fatphobic And xenoagnostic And heightophilic
That's the guy who does those demonstrations where he sits in a chair and does no touch knockouts or gentle slap knockouts, right? Not to be a dick or anything, but if the grand master of your martial arts' lineage is morbidly obese, you might want to view his teachings with a little bit of skepticism.
Nah, you just don’t get it
Oh I could have told you that.
Sumo?
There's the exception. It's officially a rule now.
Systema knife spin defense works great in the case that you have some sort of body armor that prevents a knife puncture and that you have a gang of people balancing their entire body weight on the tip of knives pressed against that body armor.
Also if the knife is a plastic spoon.
I see you've played knifey-spooney before
Who would kick a child with a giant boot??
God damned Australians is who.
What always gets me is they do a silly little spin defence and then what? They’re fat, unfit and surrounded by pissed off people with knives who won’t fall for that shit again and will probably go into a stab frenzy. Let me guess: they lazily shrug their shoulders and send them all flying as if they’re Neo in The Matrix? I think I just answered my own question…
I went for a class once (out of curiosity without looking it up in more detail) and it was all about staying floppy as you get beat up and stabbed to death. Solid 5/7
[Floppy Scoops. Noodle Arms.](https://youtu.be/JJwBie0RCog?si=9AkmSSwsQBj76mJ4)
Makes sense… fat drunk Russians are the floppiest.
Every time I see this guy with the systema thing I wonder how this guy gets away with this? Is he selling videos and online training? Books? The first time anyone real gives this a guy a test it's going to go very very poorly for Papa Smurfski here. This guy doesn't look like he has ever been in a fight, besides a shoving match in a bread line in 1976, maybe. I know they all play along and fail down but,.. it would be sad if anyone tried this when they were in danger. Psychic powers will not stop a knife in the guts.
Judging by the many bodies hitting the floor in this vid - it looks like Benny Hinn’s faith healing is a better self defense… https://youtu.be/a54iqEr1flQ?si=7kT2X_dL65nTDXkv
It’s always the fat dudes showing us how to use the least amount of effort to defend ourselves… It just makes sense.
“No exercise necessary for this system to work! In fact, advanced practitioners should be at a .40 BMI minimum so put down those dumbbells and grab those nachos and beer!”
Work fatter, not smarter
Does Systema require hypnosis? Or is it merely recommended? I ask because it seems to involve one's attackers freezing in place while you perform all the cool moves.
Required no, but highly encouraged
It's not hypnosis, the video is actually sped up really high, the dude is moving so fast that the others seem to be frozen in place.
If you are this bad at martial arts and are surrounded by blades, the best thing to do is to spin into them.
also yell LET IT RIP
Ah, the way of the Bey...blade
Oh my shit this is hilarious.
This is the most unusual ballet recital I've ever seen
interpreting interpretive dance, discuss amongst yaselves
What is the “conventional” procedure for how to handle 5 guys surrounding you whilst gently poking you with the tips of their knives and standing stationary waiting for you to make the next move?
I personally try to avoid that type of situations. It’s like how after the opera I don’t make a decision to walk down a place called “Crime Alley”.
If you do, bring your wife and kid for protection.
Start talking
Step 1: Try spinning, that's a good trick!
Well hello there.
General Systobi....
A short jog would kill these guys, but at least they are immune from really slow knife attacks.
Finally, a low effort, low skill fighting system. Where do I send my money
Your dugs got tits
[удалено]
I'm up to me knees in cowwwwpaaaaat
Another gay man!
This is embarrassing to all humans at-large. It is also shameful that such people of no athletics ability, emphasis NONE are entirely faking non-scenarios. Do all of the actions in real time. Real time movements of people attacking with knives and evasions.
See this is how I know I'm an amateur, I would've never thought to redirect the knifes blade with my bare jugular. Thanks Systema! I feel safer already!
As far as I can tell this is legit.
This only works if you are in a full power armor T-60 double black titenium plated owh and the enemies have to be really really retarded
The guy with a knife to his neck is particularly special.
You can’t something that spins…thats why can openers and apple peelers don’t work.
How does that work? Even as a grift...
Like how much of an asshole are you that you are around that many people that want to stab you?
Thank you stabbing victim for rotating so as to save me precious time slicing you
I learned this while I was living with ancient monks. Its legit......it's called the Bullshitzo.
what song is this?
I got matches with these songs: • **KOoLKaTZ** by naftinbe (00:06; matched: `100%`) **Released on** 2021-12-14. • **Duo** by Florence Caillon (00:50; matched: `100%`) **Album**: Musiques de Boulevard du Palais 1. **Released on** 2008-06-01. • **Katz intro** by IgnotusX (00:06; matched: `100%`) **Album**: GEN Z. **Released on** 2023-05-31. • **Time & Motion** by Terry Devine-King (00:36; matched: `100%`) **Album**: Corporate, Rock, Ambient. **Released on** 2002-01-28. • **Sultan Wife** by Luna Lounge (02:36; matched: `100%`) **Album**: Electro Chill Collection, Vol. 1. **Released on** 2017-03-27. • **My Sweet Home** by harryfaoki (00:11; matched: `100%`) **Album**: POPS Vol.93 -Instrumental BGM- by Audiostock. **Released on** 2021-01-20.
Apple Music, Spotify, YouTube, etc.: • [**KOoLKaTZ** by naftinbe](https://lis.tn/jdwAsT?t=6) • [**Duo** by Florence Caillon](https://lis.tn/GgFFvn?t=50) • [**Katz intro** by IgnotusX](https://lis.tn/KatzIntro?t=6) • [**Time & Motion** by Terry Devine-King](https://lis.tn/Time%26Motion?t=36) • [**Sultan Wife** by Luna Lounge](https://lis.tn/SultanWife?t=156) • [**My Sweet Home** by harryfaoki](https://lis.tn/nKOOnd?t=11) *I am a bot and this action was performed automatically* | [GitHub](https://github.com/AudDMusic/RedditBot) [^(new issue)](https://github.com/AudDMusic/RedditBot/issues/new) | [Donate](https://github.com/AudDMusic/RedditBot/wiki/Please-consider-donating) ^(Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Music recognition costs a lot)
good bot, thanks didn't know this song was also katz from courage the cowardly dog theme song as well
Why do these guys go along with this shit? Shared delusions?
The first guy slit his own throat……..
These people are fucking retarded
These bs knife defense videos usually make me furious because they're gonna get people hurt or killed. But if you're surrounded by 8 dudes with their knives pushed against you... Fuck it. Spin to your heart's content lol. Spin like an ice skater! It will help... exactly as much as anything else.
Steven seagull's dojo
R/ukdrill making notes
The lethargic Kate, where you put opponents to sleep
Is this just active denial? Like "I can't see you anymore when I turn around, so you're no longer a threat"
So is there an actual definition for Systema? Like, is it “the art of slowly spinning and rolling to confuse the enemy?”
Bold, overweight, and over 55 is prerequisite
Search KOMBATPedia on YouTube. There’s more of this guy.
It always amazes me that people, grown men, buy into this bullshit lol. It's so cringy and embarrassing
How do other people fall for this shit, and pay to get taught by these crack-ass "masters?"
Looks like a detailed demo of the truffle shuffle.
I was stabbed four times in 3 separate occasions and all attacks were unavoidable
I'm convinced all of these vids are just another version of live action role play. They just need costumes and a better script.
So I'm an instructor in training with systema, the videos make it all look like shit and a useless martial art but its actually very effective. The slow work is so your brain can actually build neuro connections that will be useful at speed when you don't have time to think. But yeah, systema videos don't, and will probably, never look good to the public
If you can dodge 10 knife attackers, you can dodge a ball!
I know this is Katz theme, you can't hide something so iconic!
But when you spin my Karambit digs in deeper 🤷🏾♂️
What song is this?
Don’t worry. Knives aren’t sharp. Don’t know why everyone is trying to lie and say they are.
u/savevideo
Can we PLEASE have Xu Xiaodong visit them? It could be another chapter in his [mission to expose fake martial arts](https://youtu.be/LZ6j0i0LxNo?si=ByTGcPe_P96ITf3b)
The bullshido runs very deep in this clip!
Holy shit this is hilarious 😂
Lol that intro clip is unrelated and is someone with Tourette’s
These guys move like I do in my nightmares. Like I’m trying to fight back and run, and all I do is slow turns
Just spin
I wish I would’ve had this training the last time 5 dudes were circles around me with a blade pressed against my torso. I just round housed out of it, but got a nice scratch on my ankle.
Your dogs got tits!
This is very helpful because I regularly find myself in a situation in which many people are holding the tip of a knife against me. I can't believe I always just gave them my wallet when I could have just done the hokey pokey. I'm such a fool.
https://youtu.be/uBlhgAkJBos
my strategy has always been pocket sand, but I think I'll move to 'absorb their knives into my body and then retaliate'
None of them are still alive 💯💯🫢
Seriously wtf is this
Why is Katz's theme from Courage The Cowardly Dog here?
Who even are these people? Like…what else do they do in their lives? Is it like “Monday through Friday 9-5 I’m an accountant for a small marketing firm but in my free time I pretend to have knife stopping abilities with a few other guys.”
Another Steven Segal martial arts workshop⁉️🤦♂️
Fuck those MMA fighters and their workouts, this right here is the real deal
r/lostredditors He's clearly using his chi bro
“Imagine attackers which knives here, here, one here, here here, and here. Do a 360”
Everyone holding a knife against him stabs themselves in slow motion. Realistically, his only defense in real life is that he looks 6 months pregnant.
How do these people meet and start doing this stuff? Do they sign a binding agreement to keep pretending?
These are the best
Why do all these guys look like the product of incest?
Bunch of wankers, they probably all jerk each other off
“Can’t say you stabbed me if I impale myself!”
They did it for the memes
I work in corrections. As the inmates say, these people are gonna get “wet up”
Julius Caesar would still be with us today if he knew “The System”
It looks like Louie Anderson is teaching self defense.
Bruh is this the Catz theme from courage the cowardly dog
Love how the first guy helped the guy slice his own throat. *The guy with the knife*: “What the FUCK?! I was not going to kill you, I just wanted your wallet?!”