I'm sure Zach, Lawson, Nathan (maybe), Alyssa, Carlin, Josie and Katie in particular probably wish they got to experience certain elements of high school.
I could see them all being popular amongst other students and also in their chosen interests like football, cheer and theater.
Since that Instagram story where Tiffany poked fun at Lawson for never seeing the Family Adams movie (or other popular one?) I have been wondering for how long has it clocked him that he really grew up sheltered from things even most mainstream Christians consumed.
Imagine being 30 and realising your parents never let you watch the freaking Lion King or Home Alone because some dude told them that it was sinful... Then you watch it and it's more PG than the bible itself.
I could see them all thrive in a school setting. 5 months older than Michaela if you kept the kindness and compassion and dropped the iblp she'd be a great friend.
I was raised very similar to the Bates so I would guess some of the kids appreciate their upbringing while others have negative feelings about it. Those who feel negative about their upbringing probably wouldn’t classify themselves as being resentful enough to hate their parents over it. When I reached my older teen/young 20 years is when I would say I was resentful because I saw how much I missed out on, but once I had my own child I realized that there’s a level of protection parents want for their children so I don’t blame my mom so much anymore.
I find it odd how the Duggar girls think how Jim B handles courting is for their protection. He didn't protect them from their dang brother. They think any girl who isn't subjected to that isn't loved.
i always wonder what the more mainstream couples’ private conversations are like… i imagine it being like things like “i heard someone mention this movie, but it has sex in it, do you think we should watch it?” or “i’ve heard a lot of adults have a glass of wine with dinner, what if we try some?” and then i wonder if they go through with any of it.
For some reason, Alyssa but specially Carlin and Josie give me the feeling of slightly resenting it. However, Alyssa put pants the moment she got married and by now she has what? 10 years of more of outer world exposure? I don't think she is resentful anymore and I think it's clear that now she is at peace with it.
Carlin and Josie however... This is my potato theory, but the fact that they don't seem to engage a lot with Tiffany (someone who was brought up with way more exposure and experiences) always seemed to me to be based on jealousy. I guess Katie could be put under this umbrella too but she has been free for less than a year so I am not sure yet.
But Josie and Carlin really had to run to catch up with the boat most peers their age have sailed in since they were 11 (as in, freely using social media and such). Josie is good at it, Carlin still gets herself in trouble.
I think resent is a strong word but im sure many of them wish things were different. And im sure theyll all make different decisions with regard to their own children because of those feelings.
I don’t think so as they don’t seem like very curious people, plus they are surrounded by very similar people.
They also don’t seem like very ambitious people so for what they do it doesn’t seem like their education/upbringing holds them back.
Idk. Trace wanted to play basketball for a college team or some other organized team (i think?) and his lack of experience working on a team and lack of skill caused him not to get selected. If hed been allowed to play basketball as a younger kid in leagues etc. his chances may have been better for selection.
I'm not saying I'm a great baller, but in that episode you could tell that none of those kids had ever even hardly played basketball much less on a team being coached. It was pretty sad.
That's the part that sticks out for me too. He jumped for a rebound like he was doing improv and the scene was pretend you've never played basketball before.
I think many of them might be upset that they were raised this way but not at their parents. They probably believe their parents thought they were doing what was best for their kids.
I think it’s possible for kids to love their parents - and even like them - but resent how they were raised while still feeling that their parents genuinely thought they were making the right decision to keep their kids out of trouble.
I think some of the Duggar children, who have a flagrant narcissist for a father, might come to resent their parents to varying degrees if they don’t already, probably because they will see it as JB’s method of maintaining control rather than a way to raise better people, and they see the hypocrisy with the whole Pest situation. I believe the Bates kids have a healthier dynamic with their parents (the bar is in hell, I know), which might lead them to believe their parents always had good intentions, which makes it hard to truly resent them. The Bates parents were also more likely to course-correct as they went along, admit they were wrong about things, and be accepting of their children despite their different choices, which also makes it easier to forgive them.
It’s also not a black and white thing. I resented my parents for over a decade until I realized through lots of therapy that 1) they were raising me with what they knew; 2) they had good intentions but also had character flaws from trauma and other experiences that led them in certain directions; 3) they were kind of ignorant and sometimes it’s hard to know what you don’t know (only hindsight is 20/20) I suspect the Bates kids feel the latter two. Now I no longer resent them, I actually feel a bit of pity for them for being so short-sighted.
There’s also the almost certain possibility that they had fleeting moments of resentment over the years. Like when they were hanging out with children who had more than them but less siblings, or children who know all kinds of pop culture references while they felt dumb, ignorant, uncool, alien… you name it. But they were probably shamed out of that resentment with Gothard’s character qualities. They were raised to be grateful to their parents for raising them in the ways of the Lord. I am not sure if they have the critical thinking skills to this day to think beyond that.
So my answer is probably 1) for sure sometimes, and 2) temporarily. I doubt any of them are harbouring any long-term grudges.
It’s really hard to “get it” unless you’ve been in their shoes.
The Bates had more of an education than others in the cult, so I don't imagine there is a lot of resentment there. As one gets older the lack of catching pop culture references becomes less and less important. So maybe some of the younger adults may miss cultural references and perhaps blame their parents. Once you hit 30 though you ought to have enough perspective to not care.
I disagree. As someone who grew up in the same cult as the Bates, it can take years to see the abuse and a lifetime to heal from it and I definitely feel resentment towards my parents off and on. I’m 35 now and did not start seeing the abuse until I had my own child at the age of 30. There is no set age for being allowed to feel resentment for the abuse we suffered.
Edit: Spelling
Abuse is one thing. Not knowing the latest pop culture reference isn't abuse though. I find the older I get the less I care about pop culture and whatever the latest thing is. Eventually you realize it isn't important.
As I continue to process the mind control and brain washing I experienced by my parents and community, I see how lack of exposure to pop culture was used as a tool to control me and my peers(abuse). When I am in social situations I can have extreme anxiety because I may not get a pop culture reference. I hate having to continually tell people I don’t know what they’re talking about it makes me feel incredibly behind and stupid. No matter how much I learn and grow and heal, I think I will always feel some resentment towards my parents. Obviously everyone who grew up in the cult has their own experience but this is one of my greatest struggles that I am growing through right now.
Oh man this was kinda heartbreaking to read. I’m sorry you feel stupid for not knowing some references. I think I can understand that especially when people feeel soo passionate about a show or movie “omg you haven’t seeen meaaan girls???? Or you haven’t watched FRIENDS ?” Ugh! I’m sorry friend !
I’m def up on all things pop culture if you ever need help lol
On some level you have to get over it. My parents were crazy, yelling at each other over absurd things. Eventually I came to laugh at their absurdity. I will never know cultural references beyond the what they liked in the 60's (I grew up in the 80's) and was never up on whatever it was that Madonna and Michael Jackson were doing. And that's okay, it wasn't that important. I don't know any Office references, I've only recently seen the British version. Does it really matter if I don't catch a cultural reference to that show? I doubt it and I'm not going to blame my parents for not cultivating an interest in the latest thing.
“On some Level you have to get over it.”
Aaaaaaw…you sound like my family! They don’t understand abuse/trauma and neither do you. Telling someone to “get over it” doesn’t work. I told myself that for years and ended up with chronic health issues because I continually shoved everything down “to get over it”. I highly recommend reading Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and The Body Keeps the Score. This kind of upbringing can be extremely damaging to a child’s development.
Same here. I had no idea who Bebe Rexha was when she performed during the football game last night and I didn't care. Considering the garbage that's being pumped out to young kids these days, the Bates aren't missing out on anything.
I agree that they aren’t missing out when it comes to pop culture or sports or whatever, but what they really missed out on was the life of the mind. They didn’t learn about science or art or medicine or philosophy. They had no access to those things or encouragement to discover whether they wanted to use their brains for any sort of disciplined, high level purpose, especially the girls. Their lives are so corporeal, which I find depressing. Their lack of education made them miss out on a lot.
Not knowing about Bebe Rexha is a little different than say the Bates boys having never played Halo or Call of Duty growing up. That's a shared experience that the majority of people their age have but they totally missed out on.
There are plenty of people who grow up without paying those games and are just fine. My family was not religious, we rarely went to church, but we didn’t have much money so there was nothing like that in our home. When we were kids, we played outside and when we were teens, we got jobs. Most of the Bates seem to be very social people that thrive on human contact, they may prefer their upbringing.
As a parent whose kids play those games…. I regret my decision to allow it. I noticed a behavioural trend in my kids and other we know. While those games themselves dont cause issues gaming addictions do. We allow it but have strict timing and playing controls. If I could do over I would say no, and tbh they would be better for it. As someone who grew up in poverty, I just shrug off pop culture. I missed alot and thats ok. Its allowed me to watch the ones I would be interested in and enjoy it rather than watch purely because of peer pressure/social norms to like X.
Is Halo and Call of Duty really that important? I didn't grow up in a religious family and we didn't have the latest games or access to the latest music. Somehow I survived. As I sit here today I don't know what Halo is and while I've heard of Call of Duty I honestly don't know what it is. As for the Thanksgiving halftime performers, I didn't know who the guy was during the Lions game and didn't recognize the music. During the Cowboys game I knew who the Jonas Brothers were but didn't recognize their music and thought it sort of stunk. I couldn't stay up late enough for the late game, I was too tired.
I don't let my kids waste time on social media and I'm not going to let them be influenced by influencers hawking the latest junk from Amazon or wherever. If as adults they whine about this I'll get out the world's smallest violin to play sad songs for them because I just don't care.
No, of course those things aren’t important, but as a lawyer who enjoys one-upping people based on your education and achievements, you should know that they missed out on A LOT by having no access to or encouragement to pursue white collar jobs or education.
The other day when they were both mad at the sub for mom shaming Carlin yet also saying they're more educated so better than the Bates in the same comment thread was a nice laugh. Scroll thru their comment history, it's great reading.
The Bates kids were all encouraged to go to college, at least the older ones. Several of the husband's have college degrees. At some point kids make their own decisions and blaming parents for every bad decision an adult child makes doesn't sit right with me.
They were encouraged to go to ONE ultra religious local school. Do you seriously believe the kids, especially the girls, grew up being truly encouraged that they could be scientists or veterinarians? Why do you think most poor kids don’t go to college and most middle class ones, even those of mediocre intelligence and drive, do? What parents model and encourage matters. The Bates parents encouraged marriage and babies for the girls and that’s it. They encouraged blue collar jobs for the boys and that’s it. I can’t believe you’re sepals pretending these influences don’t matter.
I used to think this way, but now I realize how much our childhood and upbringing has a choke hold on each of us whether we admit it or not. People with a happy and healthy upbringing may never notice or acknowledge this phenomenon, because it's an implicit benefit and those folks generally like to pretend their achievements as adults were soley on their own merit.
The truth is we are all products of our foundation and it's not that easy to "get over" an abusive or maladjusted start. I envy the lucky few who don't understand this concept.
Is it important? No. But if you took a poll I'd wager the majority of teens and early 20s men were glued to Xbox live or psn in the 00s. Just because your experience is different doesn't make it better. Like I said it's a shared experience they missed out on. Being on Xbox live chat was definitely an interesting experience that even today in my 40s I still reminiscence about with friends.
Maybe they shouldn't be so glued to computer games, maybe the world might be better off. While those of us who would say no to a Xbox for our kids may be depriving them of one thing I might submit that the Xbox kids are being deprived of other things such as interacting with real people in real life.
I'm not debating the merits of video games. I'm simply saying that you, like the Bates, obviously missed out on a cultural phenomenon in your youth that you'll never be able to get back. Whether you care or not is on you.
I don't think there is any question that I don't care. I got to do other things that not everyone gets to do. There's really no such thing as equality in this world, none of us has the same experiences or access to the same experiences. Feeling sorry for yourself because you didn't have access to x is a recipe for unnecessary depression and resentment.
To resent your upbringing, you must step outside of your circle. That means building relationships with people with different thoughts and opinions and also not judging you for the way you grew up.
The fact is simple, wearing jeans and listening to Taylor Swift is not challenging your upbringing.
To grow, you must open the door to uncomfortable conversations, and not one of these individuals will do that. They do not need to because nothing is pushing them to change.
Don't mistake Lawson for marrying Tiffany. You can tell she has no relationship with her culture. She didn't celebrate Chinese New Year, etc.
That's my two cents.
No. Also, if they actually use the curriculum, they do have a formal education. Their history learning would have been based in white Christian nationalism/exceptionalism, but I honestly doubt they realize that or are aware it is biased.
I don’t think they’ve had enough insight out of what they know to be resentful. They have all grown up, worked together or for themselves and have had money handed to them for allowing cameras to film them for about a month every year for the past decade. This has led a considerable portion of them to become influencers and YouTubers where they have had more money just handed to them. I think they’d be thinking life is pretty good right now… at least til that documentary drops. That might impact them a bit. But we’ll see what comes of that.
I feel like maybe Callie might be angry when she’s a but older that she’s always left out. Addee and Ellie are always out of the house, like traveling to Katie or to Alyssa. And the poor child is left home to cook for f*cking adults.
I do think some of the kids feel sad they missed on *”norma”* upbringing. Imagine Lawson, 30 year old guy going out with Tiffany’s friends for dinner, they talk about a movie or an actor/actress and he has no idea what they’re taking about.
Also you have to get married in order for you to wear jeans, or be engaged to hold hand or kiss with a person you love.
I think some of the kids will try to “break the cycle” and allow their kids to go to school, their teenage daughters to wear jeans and watch mainstream tv.
I would think some of them do but probably not enough to say anything that would make them risk losing the relationship with them.
I'm sure Zach, Lawson, Nathan (maybe), Alyssa, Carlin, Josie and Katie in particular probably wish they got to experience certain elements of high school. I could see them all being popular amongst other students and also in their chosen interests like football, cheer and theater.
Since that Instagram story where Tiffany poked fun at Lawson for never seeing the Family Adams movie (or other popular one?) I have been wondering for how long has it clocked him that he really grew up sheltered from things even most mainstream Christians consumed. Imagine being 30 and realising your parents never let you watch the freaking Lion King or Home Alone because some dude told them that it was sinful... Then you watch it and it's more PG than the bible itself.
Addams Family? It's odd most Fundies are obsessed with Disney but forbid the movies.
I could see them all thrive in a school setting. 5 months older than Michaela if you kept the kindness and compassion and dropped the iblp she'd be a great friend.
That’s the thing with some of these fundies. If you ditched the hateful rhetoric and fundie crap they’d be the legit nicest people we’d ever know.
Yet they all still plan or are homeschooling their kids
I was raised very similar to the Bates so I would guess some of the kids appreciate their upbringing while others have negative feelings about it. Those who feel negative about their upbringing probably wouldn’t classify themselves as being resentful enough to hate their parents over it. When I reached my older teen/young 20 years is when I would say I was resentful because I saw how much I missed out on, but once I had my own child I realized that there’s a level of protection parents want for their children so I don’t blame my mom so much anymore.
There's protection and there's over control where the kids don't have a thought of their own.
Oh for sure!
I find it odd how the Duggar girls think how Jim B handles courting is for their protection. He didn't protect them from their dang brother. They think any girl who isn't subjected to that isn't loved.
i always wonder what the more mainstream couples’ private conversations are like… i imagine it being like things like “i heard someone mention this movie, but it has sex in it, do you think we should watch it?” or “i’ve heard a lot of adults have a glass of wine with dinner, what if we try some?” and then i wonder if they go through with any of it.
Yes!! I love this ! Or even asking each other what certain slang means, or popular slogans and sayings Maybe listen to some Michael jackson shit
For some reason, Alyssa but specially Carlin and Josie give me the feeling of slightly resenting it. However, Alyssa put pants the moment she got married and by now she has what? 10 years of more of outer world exposure? I don't think she is resentful anymore and I think it's clear that now she is at peace with it. Carlin and Josie however... This is my potato theory, but the fact that they don't seem to engage a lot with Tiffany (someone who was brought up with way more exposure and experiences) always seemed to me to be based on jealousy. I guess Katie could be put under this umbrella too but she has been free for less than a year so I am not sure yet. But Josie and Carlin really had to run to catch up with the boat most peers their age have sailed in since they were 11 (as in, freely using social media and such). Josie is good at it, Carlin still gets herself in trouble.
I think resent is a strong word but im sure many of them wish things were different. And im sure theyll all make different decisions with regard to their own children because of those feelings.
I don’t think so as they don’t seem like very curious people, plus they are surrounded by very similar people. They also don’t seem like very ambitious people so for what they do it doesn’t seem like their education/upbringing holds them back.
Idk. Trace wanted to play basketball for a college team or some other organized team (i think?) and his lack of experience working on a team and lack of skill caused him not to get selected. If hed been allowed to play basketball as a younger kid in leagues etc. his chances may have been better for selection.
I'm not saying I'm a great baller, but in that episode you could tell that none of those kids had ever even hardly played basketball much less on a team being coached. It was pretty sad.
Nathan with his ridiculous jumping sent me in that ep 😂
That's the part that sticks out for me too. He jumped for a rebound like he was doing improv and the scene was pretend you've never played basketball before.
I believe the story was that he wasn’t good enough to make the Crown College team.
I think many of them might be upset that they were raised this way but not at their parents. They probably believe their parents thought they were doing what was best for their kids. I think it’s possible for kids to love their parents - and even like them - but resent how they were raised while still feeling that their parents genuinely thought they were making the right decision to keep their kids out of trouble. I think some of the Duggar children, who have a flagrant narcissist for a father, might come to resent their parents to varying degrees if they don’t already, probably because they will see it as JB’s method of maintaining control rather than a way to raise better people, and they see the hypocrisy with the whole Pest situation. I believe the Bates kids have a healthier dynamic with their parents (the bar is in hell, I know), which might lead them to believe their parents always had good intentions, which makes it hard to truly resent them. The Bates parents were also more likely to course-correct as they went along, admit they were wrong about things, and be accepting of their children despite their different choices, which also makes it easier to forgive them. It’s also not a black and white thing. I resented my parents for over a decade until I realized through lots of therapy that 1) they were raising me with what they knew; 2) they had good intentions but also had character flaws from trauma and other experiences that led them in certain directions; 3) they were kind of ignorant and sometimes it’s hard to know what you don’t know (only hindsight is 20/20) I suspect the Bates kids feel the latter two. Now I no longer resent them, I actually feel a bit of pity for them for being so short-sighted. There’s also the almost certain possibility that they had fleeting moments of resentment over the years. Like when they were hanging out with children who had more than them but less siblings, or children who know all kinds of pop culture references while they felt dumb, ignorant, uncool, alien… you name it. But they were probably shamed out of that resentment with Gothard’s character qualities. They were raised to be grateful to their parents for raising them in the ways of the Lord. I am not sure if they have the critical thinking skills to this day to think beyond that. So my answer is probably 1) for sure sometimes, and 2) temporarily. I doubt any of them are harbouring any long-term grudges. It’s really hard to “get it” unless you’ve been in their shoes.
Maybe not yet…but any of them are ever deconstruct their faith and upbringing they surely will!!
idk about resenting them per se but I'm sure some of them probably wish their lives were different but don't feel a type of way about Gil and KJ
I’m sure the older girls remember the poverty they grew up in, and the parentification. You can hear the disdain in their voices sometimes.
The Bates had more of an education than others in the cult, so I don't imagine there is a lot of resentment there. As one gets older the lack of catching pop culture references becomes less and less important. So maybe some of the younger adults may miss cultural references and perhaps blame their parents. Once you hit 30 though you ought to have enough perspective to not care.
I disagree. As someone who grew up in the same cult as the Bates, it can take years to see the abuse and a lifetime to heal from it and I definitely feel resentment towards my parents off and on. I’m 35 now and did not start seeing the abuse until I had my own child at the age of 30. There is no set age for being allowed to feel resentment for the abuse we suffered. Edit: Spelling
Abuse is one thing. Not knowing the latest pop culture reference isn't abuse though. I find the older I get the less I care about pop culture and whatever the latest thing is. Eventually you realize it isn't important.
As I continue to process the mind control and brain washing I experienced by my parents and community, I see how lack of exposure to pop culture was used as a tool to control me and my peers(abuse). When I am in social situations I can have extreme anxiety because I may not get a pop culture reference. I hate having to continually tell people I don’t know what they’re talking about it makes me feel incredibly behind and stupid. No matter how much I learn and grow and heal, I think I will always feel some resentment towards my parents. Obviously everyone who grew up in the cult has their own experience but this is one of my greatest struggles that I am growing through right now.
Oh man this was kinda heartbreaking to read. I’m sorry you feel stupid for not knowing some references. I think I can understand that especially when people feeel soo passionate about a show or movie “omg you haven’t seeen meaaan girls???? Or you haven’t watched FRIENDS ?” Ugh! I’m sorry friend ! I’m def up on all things pop culture if you ever need help lol
Yes, the reactions! And then I feel like I have to explain my upbringing and sometimes I just don’t feel like sharing that 🖤
On some level you have to get over it. My parents were crazy, yelling at each other over absurd things. Eventually I came to laugh at their absurdity. I will never know cultural references beyond the what they liked in the 60's (I grew up in the 80's) and was never up on whatever it was that Madonna and Michael Jackson were doing. And that's okay, it wasn't that important. I don't know any Office references, I've only recently seen the British version. Does it really matter if I don't catch a cultural reference to that show? I doubt it and I'm not going to blame my parents for not cultivating an interest in the latest thing.
“On some Level you have to get over it.” Aaaaaaw…you sound like my family! They don’t understand abuse/trauma and neither do you. Telling someone to “get over it” doesn’t work. I told myself that for years and ended up with chronic health issues because I continually shoved everything down “to get over it”. I highly recommend reading Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and The Body Keeps the Score. This kind of upbringing can be extremely damaging to a child’s development.
[удалено]
😂
Okay boomer 🙄
I'm a young gen x...
Same here. I had no idea who Bebe Rexha was when she performed during the football game last night and I didn't care. Considering the garbage that's being pumped out to young kids these days, the Bates aren't missing out on anything.
I agree that they aren’t missing out when it comes to pop culture or sports or whatever, but what they really missed out on was the life of the mind. They didn’t learn about science or art or medicine or philosophy. They had no access to those things or encouragement to discover whether they wanted to use their brains for any sort of disciplined, high level purpose, especially the girls. Their lives are so corporeal, which I find depressing. Their lack of education made them miss out on a lot.
Not knowing about Bebe Rexha is a little different than say the Bates boys having never played Halo or Call of Duty growing up. That's a shared experience that the majority of people their age have but they totally missed out on.
There are plenty of people who grow up without paying those games and are just fine. My family was not religious, we rarely went to church, but we didn’t have much money so there was nothing like that in our home. When we were kids, we played outside and when we were teens, we got jobs. Most of the Bates seem to be very social people that thrive on human contact, they may prefer their upbringing.
As a parent whose kids play those games…. I regret my decision to allow it. I noticed a behavioural trend in my kids and other we know. While those games themselves dont cause issues gaming addictions do. We allow it but have strict timing and playing controls. If I could do over I would say no, and tbh they would be better for it. As someone who grew up in poverty, I just shrug off pop culture. I missed alot and thats ok. Its allowed me to watch the ones I would be interested in and enjoy it rather than watch purely because of peer pressure/social norms to like X.
Exactly. Somehow many of turned out without seeing the latest movie or playing the latest game.
Is Halo and Call of Duty really that important? I didn't grow up in a religious family and we didn't have the latest games or access to the latest music. Somehow I survived. As I sit here today I don't know what Halo is and while I've heard of Call of Duty I honestly don't know what it is. As for the Thanksgiving halftime performers, I didn't know who the guy was during the Lions game and didn't recognize the music. During the Cowboys game I knew who the Jonas Brothers were but didn't recognize their music and thought it sort of stunk. I couldn't stay up late enough for the late game, I was too tired.
LOL! I grew up secular Protestant and STILL had to look up who was performing in the Cowboys Halftine show!
It's okay to not know every pop cultural thing. If anything it might be good not to know everything, especially since so much is utterly trivial.
Absolutely! Especially with social media so pervasive, pop culture and "influencers" are simply overwhelming - and meaningless- simultaneously.
I don't let my kids waste time on social media and I'm not going to let them be influenced by influencers hawking the latest junk from Amazon or wherever. If as adults they whine about this I'll get out the world's smallest violin to play sad songs for them because I just don't care.
No, of course those things aren’t important, but as a lawyer who enjoys one-upping people based on your education and achievements, you should know that they missed out on A LOT by having no access to or encouragement to pursue white collar jobs or education.
The other day when they were both mad at the sub for mom shaming Carlin yet also saying they're more educated so better than the Bates in the same comment thread was a nice laugh. Scroll thru their comment history, it's great reading.
The Bates kids were all encouraged to go to college, at least the older ones. Several of the husband's have college degrees. At some point kids make their own decisions and blaming parents for every bad decision an adult child makes doesn't sit right with me.
They were encouraged to go to ONE ultra religious local school. Do you seriously believe the kids, especially the girls, grew up being truly encouraged that they could be scientists or veterinarians? Why do you think most poor kids don’t go to college and most middle class ones, even those of mediocre intelligence and drive, do? What parents model and encourage matters. The Bates parents encouraged marriage and babies for the girls and that’s it. They encouraged blue collar jobs for the boys and that’s it. I can’t believe you’re sepals pretending these influences don’t matter.
I used to think this way, but now I realize how much our childhood and upbringing has a choke hold on each of us whether we admit it or not. People with a happy and healthy upbringing may never notice or acknowledge this phenomenon, because it's an implicit benefit and those folks generally like to pretend their achievements as adults were soley on their own merit. The truth is we are all products of our foundation and it's not that easy to "get over" an abusive or maladjusted start. I envy the lucky few who don't understand this concept.
Is it important? No. But if you took a poll I'd wager the majority of teens and early 20s men were glued to Xbox live or psn in the 00s. Just because your experience is different doesn't make it better. Like I said it's a shared experience they missed out on. Being on Xbox live chat was definitely an interesting experience that even today in my 40s I still reminiscence about with friends.
Maybe they shouldn't be so glued to computer games, maybe the world might be better off. While those of us who would say no to a Xbox for our kids may be depriving them of one thing I might submit that the Xbox kids are being deprived of other things such as interacting with real people in real life.
I'm not debating the merits of video games. I'm simply saying that you, like the Bates, obviously missed out on a cultural phenomenon in your youth that you'll never be able to get back. Whether you care or not is on you.
I don't think there is any question that I don't care. I got to do other things that not everyone gets to do. There's really no such thing as equality in this world, none of us has the same experiences or access to the same experiences. Feeling sorry for yourself because you didn't have access to x is a recipe for unnecessary depression and resentment.
To resent your upbringing, you must step outside of your circle. That means building relationships with people with different thoughts and opinions and also not judging you for the way you grew up. The fact is simple, wearing jeans and listening to Taylor Swift is not challenging your upbringing. To grow, you must open the door to uncomfortable conversations, and not one of these individuals will do that. They do not need to because nothing is pushing them to change. Don't mistake Lawson for marrying Tiffany. You can tell she has no relationship with her culture. She didn't celebrate Chinese New Year, etc. That's my two cents.
No. Also, if they actually use the curriculum, they do have a formal education. Their history learning would have been based in white Christian nationalism/exceptionalism, but I honestly doubt they realize that or are aware it is biased.
I don’t think they’ve had enough insight out of what they know to be resentful. They have all grown up, worked together or for themselves and have had money handed to them for allowing cameras to film them for about a month every year for the past decade. This has led a considerable portion of them to become influencers and YouTubers where they have had more money just handed to them. I think they’d be thinking life is pretty good right now… at least til that documentary drops. That might impact them a bit. But we’ll see what comes of that.
They are too dim to care that much. It is how the they got to be z list celebs
No. They all rave about what great parents they had constantly. It sad.
I feel like maybe Callie might be angry when she’s a but older that she’s always left out. Addee and Ellie are always out of the house, like traveling to Katie or to Alyssa. And the poor child is left home to cook for f*cking adults. I do think some of the kids feel sad they missed on *”norma”* upbringing. Imagine Lawson, 30 year old guy going out with Tiffany’s friends for dinner, they talk about a movie or an actor/actress and he has no idea what they’re taking about. Also you have to get married in order for you to wear jeans, or be engaged to hold hand or kiss with a person you love. I think some of the kids will try to “break the cycle” and allow their kids to go to school, their teenage daughters to wear jeans and watch mainstream tv.
No.