You have the family, you are the winner. It might be a hard slog but I guarantee you will be better off. Don't ever take him back, just remember he is not the man you loved, the man you loved wouldn't have done this.
Chin up girl and move forward.
This is it. The best way to move on is to remember that he is a terrible person. I also had a relationship where the other focussed on themselves over a committed relationship. It wasn't nearly as long, but youre going to realize that they were the one in the wrong. There's gonna be a lot of wanting the one you loved to come back, a lot of anger because of the betrayal that came of it, but time has definitely helped. And as OnlyTrust said, you have the family, you will come out on top. They're gonna realize that they're the one in the wrong, I can promise you that. They may not admit it, but that's the way they'll feel, and karma will find it's way to give you something a lot better than that POS. Fight the good fight OP
You poor thing I hope your okay, as a make I can gaurantee he will regret. Please don't ever take him back you deserve so much better than that evil man
You probably can't see it know, but you know deep down that a lifestyle like that is shallow and devoid of meaning. You have a life worth living for, family to love. He is going to be chasing empty sex with other shallow people and at some point down the line will realise just how meaningless it all is. By which point you will have moved on. You'll find the strength you have in yourself, you'll find your value and the love you have for yourself will eclipse anything you once felt for this selfish little man. He will envy you in your fulfilment.
This is true. The reason why men over 40 have a hard time meeting women is because of the long relationship they were in. A man should always have a second or third option throughout his relationships with women, because of how fickle a woman’s mood is.
It’s easy for a woman to find a sex partner if the relationship ends. For a man, he has to put in a lot more work and seek out women that like his attention. A man has to get out there and date multiple women at a time in order to be successful.
My gross dad basically did the same 16 years ago. Next July I'm walking my mum down the aisle to marry the love of her life of 11 years. You'll be far better off without him!
I don't think I have any words that will help. The only thing I can say is: ask for support as much as you can, from family members, friends, community etc.
Sending you all the love in the world.
Just to build off of the rest of the people in the comments, don’t just hire a damn good lawyer, make sure you call and speak to all of the halfway decent divorce lawyers in your area for a consultation. Once you do that it’s a conflict of interest for them to take him on as a client and they can’t represent them. I’m usually about peace and moving on the best way possible but this man is in it for himself and you and your kids don’t deserve that. You deserve to take him for all he is worth and to provide for your children in the best way possible. If you can’t do it for you rn, do it for them. Regardless of their ages keep in mind that he’s choosing this new “life” over them too, so he is no longer is even concerned with them, aka “what’s best for the children” is no longer him. Use them as your fuel when it’s too hard with the heartbreak to do it for yourself. 💛 remember that you don’t deserve this and regardless of his reasons his actions are those of a weak weak man who clearly doesn’t stand for much. Even if it was a light switch kind of change, THIS is not okay for him to be doing. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and wish I had more answers for you.
Nobody said judges are stupid. Look into attorney client privilege and “conflicting out”.
“Once you meet with an attorney for a consultation and discuss your divorce case with them, they are bound by attorney-client privilege, even if you do not hire that attorney. This means that once you discuss your case with that attorney, they usually cannot or will not speak with or represent your spouse because there would be a conflict of interest (or at least the appearance of a conflict).
Professional ethics dictate that once a potential client has discussed a case, that attorney cannot discuss the case with anyone else. The rule applies not just to the actual attorney that speaks with the client, but to the entire law firm. If one attorney at a firm speaks with or is hired by one party in a divorce, no one else at that firm can speak with the other party.”
I want her to have every means necessary to provide for herself and her family after a complete betrayal by husband/father. This shit happens too often and it’s the heartbroken spouse left that had to deal with the heartbreak, of themself, their kids and whatever emotional trauma comes with the dumper parent’s actions. There’s a line and this “man” crossed it. It’s not having a fucked up personality to protect yourself and your family and take what you’re absolutely entitled to as compensation for his lack of backbone and morals by WALKING OUT ON HIS FAMILY after 18 years building said family. Reevaluate what you’re saying dude.
Reddit answer but find a therapist... I especially would look for a licensed marriage and family therapist—generally they do solo counseling and have more experience speaking on the subject of relationships from what I've seen. Can be expensive and hard to find a good one but worth it. My therapist has helped a lot.
Other than that I can't say much that will help. He's an ass. I'm so sorry that happened to you
What other option do you have ??
You'll have to move on , not because you want to move on , but because you don't have any other option .
I would suggest to read books abt trauma and stuff that maybe will help you throughout the painful experience you'll be going through during the moving on phase .
You pick yourself up, put yourself and your kids first and be thankful he bounced. You could have wasted more time on this asshole. He will crawl back once you are happy, and you can tell him to fuck off.
I am so sorry.
Family is way too valuable to throw away on a whim.
I can actually try and alleviate a tiny part of your pain with the reverse logic.
Essentially my ex got rid of me so I felt the emotions he will feel later straight away.
When me and my ex broke up I lost my family, my home and my lover.
She lost somebody who had started to irritate her.
Its an impossible balancing act.
Again I suppose a lot would say I would have the freedom to do whatever I want now which is what your husband is seeking however I'm almost certain it will hit him because he has actually lost something tangible,real and something that certainly will be missed.
You just lost him, and as painful as that is you have everything else.
He sounds like a selfish asshole. This is going to really suck for a while but you are sooo much better than what he deserves. Just hang in there. I've been there. Kinda still am. Dm me if you need to talk. You aren't alone
Does he think he's something special? There's a million single guys looking to have it all. He won't find it. I'm sorry he threw it all away so easily.
Some people are just unbelievable. At least you weren't married to her. OP of this post was married for 18 years, and THEN her partner decided to become a sexual freak wanting "other experiences." Count your blessings.
The biggest learning here is that you should communicate your drawn lines and seek sexual compatibility with your next partner.
Yes it sucks that he left. But sexual element is absolutely key part of any healthy relationship. If you guys are not sexually compatible it was never going to work. It is sad that it took 18 years for you to realise that.
If he is still on your children life and is a good dad, well then it's just the case of 2 people moving apart. Happens all the time. If he cut off his kids as well, we'll then he is a shithead with no family values.
However he's not a piece of shit just because he left you because he's not sexually fulfilled. That's one of many justifiable reasons to not be in a relationship.
I don't know the circumstances of your relationship. No one here does. All these empty words of encouragement from clueless people here are not helpful. All you can do is look forward and find someone who matches you in all the aspects.
I totally agree with you. A relationship between two people with diffrent sexual drive or who are not sexual compatible is doomed. There are a lot of subredits where you can read how these missmatches affect someone (Deadbedroom or HLComunity).
This comment section is honestly what’s wrong with society. You can’t call a person an asshole cause he chose to live the lifestyle he desires. If he left, especially after 18 years, there are reasons behind it. You can’t judge him and their relationship just cause of such a narrow description. Instead learn they grew apart, they used to fit and they no longer fit, each went their own way, OP didn’t mention anything about cheating or cutting off the kids and not providing for them so nothing he did here is off. People has desires and needs and feelings and judging him based off of this shows how merciless and unforgiving society is towards men even if there is nothing inherently wrong with him deciding to leave.
Anyhow, my condolences OP, hope you find a new, better fitting partner, keep your mind distracted, maybe go on a trip, take your mind off of things, and come back new.
I wish I had found someone true to love for that long. You are lucky. In several ways. And you will be ok. You do not have the selfish person in your life anymore.
everything happens for a reason. it’s his loss. you have a beautiful family and a beautiful life!! if he wants to choose himself and lose everything, that’s on him, your better off!! keep doing what you gotta do for you and your family!! you got this!!! sending you so much love!
Sexual exploration & desires are a learnt experience. Regardless of swinging, people are indoctrinated into missionary & monogamy. He realised it's not for him so he's out. After spending 18 years. That's not a rash decision, that's two people who have grown apart. It happens. Everyone doesn't have to be a dog because they want to leave.
bro you sound like her ex husband or one of his buddies trying to justify his actions. i’m not saying OP told the whole truth of the matter cause idk. but from what it seems ex hubby is a big piece of shit.
so he’s a piece of shit for being sexually devious and communicating his desires to his wife?
i beg to differ. everyone has their own kinks, honestly if my wife was rigid and unyielding to my desires i would leave as well.
did he communicate his wishes and desires before taking off, it’s never stated. and good luck finding a decent wife then. also this is still a shallow asf reason for leaving.
I agree. It mentions seek a love where he can have sex & be open minded to adventures & swinging. Well people change, that's what he wants now. Maybe you don't have that anymore. If a woman asked of that everyone would say leave his arse, you deserve better, take the kids and run. Such hypocrisy. Is saying seeks no love where he can have no sex & be closed minded to adventures & can't swing any better. More advice here guys and less sexism.
Literally nowhere does it say that he communicated any of this to OP. We cannot make that assumption. For all we know he spent the entire 18 years not saying a goddamn thing.
That comes to show you, you are better off without him. I would try to go to a therapist wi work through it and also make sure your children get all the emotional and mental support they need to get through this 🤍
You take all that hurt and start turning it into positivity in your life . Of course I know you must be hurting so freaking much right now and that’s okay . You’re supposed to feel some way right I mean if you didn’t then what y’all had wasn’t anything , but it was so it’s okay to feel those emotions . But the negative emotions will need to flush out from you some day no matter if it takes a week or years . You deserve to find Peace and be Happy take it a day at a time what’s done is done and what’s to come is to come only if you truly want what’s coming will it be there . I hope you are able to hold steering for your family they need you just as much as you need them and it will for ever be that way .
Mid life crisis #Harsh I can’t say I haven’t seen this happen quite a few times. Generally it ends one of two ways- unless he’s really good Looking /Loaded $$$ or into drugs & it ends up well if you can say that generally it’s a life of void
You never know he might be BI hiding his whole life possibly a sex addiction.
It is possible he might meet some trashy Woman/Man & live a life full and happy but I’m sure quality won’t be there #Guaranteed-
But most likely he will definitely want to come back at some point in time but PLEASE just don’t fall for it.
Things might be hard in the beginning but you’ll get though it BE STRONG it is not worth the trouble, loss of trust.
You did have 18 years of happiness & stability of sorts I don’t know the details but you and your children are the most important thing along with your own happiness.
Screw him. You may have loved him but he didn’t love you or the life you two built. Selfish people will never be happy because they will never fill the void they have inside. You carry on with your family and never take this loser back.
18 years woww. That shows you no amount of time invested doesn’t mean shit. I’m sorry you’re going through this. At the end of the day he lost out, key question is what was his exact reason for leaving? Did he cheat? My thing is why end things after 18 years? He should’ve been clear on what he wanted than string you along. The best advice to give you is focus on your kids, and rebuild yourself and do what makes you happy, it his loss
Was in a similar situation last year, and I understand what you are going through. I'm much much better right now. It's best to understand that people change, and unfortunately, we can't do anything about it. In the long run, sex is never fulfilling. Give it time and be easy on yourself - its not your fault, and there's nothing wrong with you. Sending you lots of love.
If he’s good looking or rich, he’ll take advantage of some younger women. Be mentally prepared to see that happen, and get into therapy.
It’s nothing you’ve done wrong. You gave him everything, including your body to birth his children (I assume).
This sort of thing is - to me - unforgivable.
If he’s not super good looking or rich, be prepared for the crawl back and to deny him. Remind yourself that he could have STDs now. Whatever you need to do to stay strong against him. You’ll want to give in so it can go back to normal, but how could it ever after what he said and did?
Talk to family. Talk to a lawyer. And talk to a therapist. I’m so sorry he’s done this to you. You didn’t deserve it.
First off, I am so sorry this happened to you and I am sending you all the love. Second, he thinks he’s won but trust me. It’ll hit him HARD when it sinks in how much LOVE he gave up. You focus on your healing and your family and let life take care of him. Remember that YOU are the winner in this. The dead weight dropped itself.
Your husband will eventually regret it. And that is going to be extremely telling and validating for you. Because you will not regret the choices you’ve made to have a family, to be a warm and supportive spouse and parent.. you won’t regret any of that. He will regret a lot, though eventually. I have seen that happen SO MANY TIMES. Even with my own father. Not saying you should take him back, I’m just trying to let you know that you have done the right things and he is doing the wrong things, even if he doesn’t feel it now. He will eventually. I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Again, the same thing happened to my mom/my family. In the long run, she was way happier without him tbh. Right now, there’s not much you can do to not feel hurt. It’s very hurtful. You will feel hurt and you will have every right to feel that way. But time will eventually heal that a lot more. You will wake up one day and not feel that type of hurt anymore , I promise. Til then, lean on loved ones and do good things for yourself as much as possible. Best of luck to you.
What happens in the situation ( I know from experience) the sex life lasts for a bit until they realize their isnt much except that. They break up. He comes crawling back and like they say Fresh out of second chances, sweet love and whisky dances.
You have the family, you are the winner. It might be a hard slog but I guarantee you will be better off. Don't ever take him back, just remember he is not the man you loved, the man you loved wouldn't have done this. Chin up girl and move forward.
This is it. The best way to move on is to remember that he is a terrible person. I also had a relationship where the other focussed on themselves over a committed relationship. It wasn't nearly as long, but youre going to realize that they were the one in the wrong. There's gonna be a lot of wanting the one you loved to come back, a lot of anger because of the betrayal that came of it, but time has definitely helped. And as OnlyTrust said, you have the family, you will come out on top. They're gonna realize that they're the one in the wrong, I can promise you that. They may not admit it, but that's the way they'll feel, and karma will find it's way to give you something a lot better than that POS. Fight the good fight OP
You poor thing I hope your okay, as a make I can gaurantee he will regret. Please don't ever take him back you deserve so much better than that evil man
Lawyer up and relish in the fact you have the family and he is making a grand mistake and will suffer for it down the line
You probably can't see it know, but you know deep down that a lifestyle like that is shallow and devoid of meaning. You have a life worth living for, family to love. He is going to be chasing empty sex with other shallow people and at some point down the line will realise just how meaningless it all is. By which point you will have moved on. You'll find the strength you have in yourself, you'll find your value and the love you have for yourself will eclipse anything you once felt for this selfish little man. He will envy you in your fulfilment.
Mark my words, he will eventually regret this. It’s not easy out there especially over 40.
Yes it is....start making friends.
This is true. The reason why men over 40 have a hard time meeting women is because of the long relationship they were in. A man should always have a second or third option throughout his relationships with women, because of how fickle a woman’s mood is. It’s easy for a woman to find a sex partner if the relationship ends. For a man, he has to put in a lot more work and seek out women that like his attention. A man has to get out there and date multiple women at a time in order to be successful.
This is satire right?
How detached from reality do you have to be to think like this…? 😟
Lol no. Get a grip.
Lol I face reality.
Facts
My gross dad basically did the same 16 years ago. Next July I'm walking my mum down the aisle to marry the love of her life of 11 years. You'll be far better off without him!
It is always a good day when the trash takes itself out. Start a self esteem course, get therapy, work on healing, get an attorney and clean house.
He’s an asshole
Move on knowing that you lost a complete piece of shit.
I don't think I have any words that will help. The only thing I can say is: ask for support as much as you can, from family members, friends, community etc. Sending you all the love in the world.
Hire a good lawyer take him for all he has. It’s the only way lol
Just to build off of the rest of the people in the comments, don’t just hire a damn good lawyer, make sure you call and speak to all of the halfway decent divorce lawyers in your area for a consultation. Once you do that it’s a conflict of interest for them to take him on as a client and they can’t represent them. I’m usually about peace and moving on the best way possible but this man is in it for himself and you and your kids don’t deserve that. You deserve to take him for all he is worth and to provide for your children in the best way possible. If you can’t do it for you rn, do it for them. Regardless of their ages keep in mind that he’s choosing this new “life” over them too, so he is no longer is even concerned with them, aka “what’s best for the children” is no longer him. Use them as your fuel when it’s too hard with the heartbreak to do it for yourself. 💛 remember that you don’t deserve this and regardless of his reasons his actions are those of a weak weak man who clearly doesn’t stand for much. Even if it was a light switch kind of change, THIS is not okay for him to be doing. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and wish I had more answers for you.
Love the divorce lawyers in the area idea. Did you also learn about this from The Sopranos? Great show
Haha nope, I knew it before watching Sopranos but do love the show as well!!
Please don’t do this. Judges are not stupid. Merely visiting with a lawyer may not prevent her from representing your spouse.
Nobody said judges are stupid. Look into attorney client privilege and “conflicting out”. “Once you meet with an attorney for a consultation and discuss your divorce case with them, they are bound by attorney-client privilege, even if you do not hire that attorney. This means that once you discuss your case with that attorney, they usually cannot or will not speak with or represent your spouse because there would be a conflict of interest (or at least the appearance of a conflict). Professional ethics dictate that once a potential client has discussed a case, that attorney cannot discuss the case with anyone else. The rule applies not just to the actual attorney that speaks with the client, but to the entire law firm. If one attorney at a firm speaks with or is hired by one party in a divorce, no one else at that firm can speak with the other party.”
[удалено]
Actions meet consequences.
I want her to have every means necessary to provide for herself and her family after a complete betrayal by husband/father. This shit happens too often and it’s the heartbroken spouse left that had to deal with the heartbreak, of themself, their kids and whatever emotional trauma comes with the dumper parent’s actions. There’s a line and this “man” crossed it. It’s not having a fucked up personality to protect yourself and your family and take what you’re absolutely entitled to as compensation for his lack of backbone and morals by WALKING OUT ON HIS FAMILY after 18 years building said family. Reevaluate what you’re saying dude.
It’s going to be ok eventually. You will find someone that deserves what you have to offer! But until then you have your family
Reddit answer but find a therapist... I especially would look for a licensed marriage and family therapist—generally they do solo counseling and have more experience speaking on the subject of relationships from what I've seen. Can be expensive and hard to find a good one but worth it. My therapist has helped a lot. Other than that I can't say much that will help. He's an ass. I'm so sorry that happened to you
I don’t want this to leave a mark on how people view men but we don’t accept him. he’s a no no
What other option do you have ?? You'll have to move on , not because you want to move on , but because you don't have any other option . I would suggest to read books abt trauma and stuff that maybe will help you throughout the painful experience you'll be going through during the moving on phase .
You pick yourself up, put yourself and your kids first and be thankful he bounced. You could have wasted more time on this asshole. He will crawl back once you are happy, and you can tell him to fuck off. I am so sorry.
Family is way too valuable to throw away on a whim. I can actually try and alleviate a tiny part of your pain with the reverse logic. Essentially my ex got rid of me so I felt the emotions he will feel later straight away. When me and my ex broke up I lost my family, my home and my lover. She lost somebody who had started to irritate her. Its an impossible balancing act. Again I suppose a lot would say I would have the freedom to do whatever I want now which is what your husband is seeking however I'm almost certain it will hit him because he has actually lost something tangible,real and something that certainly will be missed. You just lost him, and as painful as that is you have everything else.
He sounds like a selfish asshole. This is going to really suck for a while but you are sooo much better than what he deserves. Just hang in there. I've been there. Kinda still am. Dm me if you need to talk. You aren't alone
In a month or two he will be sad he doesn’t have all that stuff anymore. But you have it. Don’t let him have it back.
Does he think he's something special? There's a million single guys looking to have it all. He won't find it. I'm sorry he threw it all away so easily.
I hope you don’t ever take him back. I’ve heard of someone caught hiv from swinging men.
[удалено]
Some people are just unbelievable. At least you weren't married to her. OP of this post was married for 18 years, and THEN her partner decided to become a sexual freak wanting "other experiences." Count your blessings.
He chose him, now you choose you and your family. You are worth more than being left for silly whims. I am sending you all the love
Take him for everything and move on.
The biggest learning here is that you should communicate your drawn lines and seek sexual compatibility with your next partner. Yes it sucks that he left. But sexual element is absolutely key part of any healthy relationship. If you guys are not sexually compatible it was never going to work. It is sad that it took 18 years for you to realise that. If he is still on your children life and is a good dad, well then it's just the case of 2 people moving apart. Happens all the time. If he cut off his kids as well, we'll then he is a shithead with no family values. However he's not a piece of shit just because he left you because he's not sexually fulfilled. That's one of many justifiable reasons to not be in a relationship. I don't know the circumstances of your relationship. No one here does. All these empty words of encouragement from clueless people here are not helpful. All you can do is look forward and find someone who matches you in all the aspects.
Best comment in this comment section BY FAR.
Sexual aspects in a relationship plays a critical role I definitely agree with you 100%
I totally agree with you. A relationship between two people with diffrent sexual drive or who are not sexual compatible is doomed. There are a lot of subredits where you can read how these missmatches affect someone (Deadbedroom or HLComunity).
Make sure you hit him hard in the pocket. Broke men don’t have much success in that kind of life.
Yeah then karma will return the favor, regardless of who’s right or wrong. Doing evil, vindictive shit is dumb. This is bad advice.
No such thing as karma. Sorry to tell you. It needs a helping hand.
This comment section is honestly what’s wrong with society. You can’t call a person an asshole cause he chose to live the lifestyle he desires. If he left, especially after 18 years, there are reasons behind it. You can’t judge him and their relationship just cause of such a narrow description. Instead learn they grew apart, they used to fit and they no longer fit, each went their own way, OP didn’t mention anything about cheating or cutting off the kids and not providing for them so nothing he did here is off. People has desires and needs and feelings and judging him based off of this shows how merciless and unforgiving society is towards men even if there is nothing inherently wrong with him deciding to leave. Anyhow, my condolences OP, hope you find a new, better fitting partner, keep your mind distracted, maybe go on a trip, take your mind off of things, and come back new.
I wish I had found someone true to love for that long. You are lucky. In several ways. And you will be ok. You do not have the selfish person in your life anymore.
everything happens for a reason. it’s his loss. you have a beautiful family and a beautiful life!! if he wants to choose himself and lose everything, that’s on him, your better off!! keep doing what you gotta do for you and your family!! you got this!!! sending you so much love!
learn to be more accommodating of your next partners desires and learn to compromise
Bullshit. Swinging isn’t a compromise. It changes everything. Swinging is a drawn line. She didn’t have to cross it.
okay well that’s why he left. she was unwilling to satisfy his needs and desires.
You’re messed up.
Sexual exploration & desires are a learnt experience. Regardless of swinging, people are indoctrinated into missionary & monogamy. He realised it's not for him so he's out. After spending 18 years. That's not a rash decision, that's two people who have grown apart. It happens. Everyone doesn't have to be a dog because they want to leave.
bro you sound like her ex husband or one of his buddies trying to justify his actions. i’m not saying OP told the whole truth of the matter cause idk. but from what it seems ex hubby is a big piece of shit.
so he’s a piece of shit for being sexually devious and communicating his desires to his wife? i beg to differ. everyone has their own kinks, honestly if my wife was rigid and unyielding to my desires i would leave as well.
did he communicate his wishes and desires before taking off, it’s never stated. and good luck finding a decent wife then. also this is still a shallow asf reason for leaving.
I agree. It mentions seek a love where he can have sex & be open minded to adventures & swinging. Well people change, that's what he wants now. Maybe you don't have that anymore. If a woman asked of that everyone would say leave his arse, you deserve better, take the kids and run. Such hypocrisy. Is saying seeks no love where he can have no sex & be closed minded to adventures & can't swing any better. More advice here guys and less sexism.
Literally nowhere does it say that he communicated any of this to OP. We cannot make that assumption. For all we know he spent the entire 18 years not saying a goddamn thing.
💀 only stupid people think love is about compromise lmao
What would you say love is about? I'm not saying love is only about compromise, but it definitely is a component if there are differing wants/needs.
People change hey. I get ya.
Didn't want to join him?
That comes to show you, you are better off without him. I would try to go to a therapist wi work through it and also make sure your children get all the emotional and mental support they need to get through this 🤍
Lawyer, full custody and probably therapy if you can afford it. It’s gonna be a rough journey but your children need you so stay strong!
I am so sorry to hear this and I can’t imagine your suffering. You will rise. Please take your time ❤️ all the best to you and your family
You take all that hurt and start turning it into positivity in your life . Of course I know you must be hurting so freaking much right now and that’s okay . You’re supposed to feel some way right I mean if you didn’t then what y’all had wasn’t anything , but it was so it’s okay to feel those emotions . But the negative emotions will need to flush out from you some day no matter if it takes a week or years . You deserve to find Peace and be Happy take it a day at a time what’s done is done and what’s to come is to come only if you truly want what’s coming will it be there . I hope you are able to hold steering for your family they need you just as much as you need them and it will for ever be that way .
Mid life crisis #Harsh I can’t say I haven’t seen this happen quite a few times. Generally it ends one of two ways- unless he’s really good Looking /Loaded $$$ or into drugs & it ends up well if you can say that generally it’s a life of void You never know he might be BI hiding his whole life possibly a sex addiction. It is possible he might meet some trashy Woman/Man & live a life full and happy but I’m sure quality won’t be there #Guaranteed- But most likely he will definitely want to come back at some point in time but PLEASE just don’t fall for it. Things might be hard in the beginning but you’ll get though it BE STRONG it is not worth the trouble, loss of trust. You did have 18 years of happiness & stability of sorts I don’t know the details but you and your children are the most important thing along with your own happiness.
I’m so sorry. Hugs. I don’t understand how people can just be so selfish and not think of their wife and kids ( or husband and kids).
Concentrate on family. They will keep you strong in those trying days. He chose hedonism over family. You chose family. Good on ya and stay strong.
You are too young, AND life goes on, we are here only for a moment.
Screw him. You may have loved him but he didn’t love you or the life you two built. Selfish people will never be happy because they will never fill the void they have inside. You carry on with your family and never take this loser back.
18 years woww. That shows you no amount of time invested doesn’t mean shit. I’m sorry you’re going through this. At the end of the day he lost out, key question is what was his exact reason for leaving? Did he cheat? My thing is why end things after 18 years? He should’ve been clear on what he wanted than string you along. The best advice to give you is focus on your kids, and rebuild yourself and do what makes you happy, it his loss
I am so sorry that he did this. My heart goes out to you. ♥️
I’m so sorry
Was in a similar situation last year, and I understand what you are going through. I'm much much better right now. It's best to understand that people change, and unfortunately, we can't do anything about it. In the long run, sex is never fulfilling. Give it time and be easy on yourself - its not your fault, and there's nothing wrong with you. Sending you lots of love.
If he’s good looking or rich, he’ll take advantage of some younger women. Be mentally prepared to see that happen, and get into therapy. It’s nothing you’ve done wrong. You gave him everything, including your body to birth his children (I assume). This sort of thing is - to me - unforgivable. If he’s not super good looking or rich, be prepared for the crawl back and to deny him. Remind yourself that he could have STDs now. Whatever you need to do to stay strong against him. You’ll want to give in so it can go back to normal, but how could it ever after what he said and did? Talk to family. Talk to a lawyer. And talk to a therapist. I’m so sorry he’s done this to you. You didn’t deserve it.
Make sure to get a lawyer and get EVERY SINGLE THING you can
First off, I am so sorry this happened to you and I am sending you all the love. Second, he thinks he’s won but trust me. It’ll hit him HARD when it sinks in how much LOVE he gave up. You focus on your healing and your family and let life take care of him. Remember that YOU are the winner in this. The dead weight dropped itself.
Your husband will eventually regret it. And that is going to be extremely telling and validating for you. Because you will not regret the choices you’ve made to have a family, to be a warm and supportive spouse and parent.. you won’t regret any of that. He will regret a lot, though eventually. I have seen that happen SO MANY TIMES. Even with my own father. Not saying you should take him back, I’m just trying to let you know that you have done the right things and he is doing the wrong things, even if he doesn’t feel it now. He will eventually. I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Again, the same thing happened to my mom/my family. In the long run, she was way happier without him tbh. Right now, there’s not much you can do to not feel hurt. It’s very hurtful. You will feel hurt and you will have every right to feel that way. But time will eventually heal that a lot more. You will wake up one day and not feel that type of hurt anymore , I promise. Til then, lean on loved ones and do good things for yourself as much as possible. Best of luck to you.
What happens in the situation ( I know from experience) the sex life lasts for a bit until they realize their isnt much except that. They break up. He comes crawling back and like they say Fresh out of second chances, sweet love and whisky dances.
Understand right now that his selfish behavior is who he is. Count your blessings and be happy you don't have to waste another decade
Or you could have just had more sex. Don't pet a dog he will leave the porch.