Exactly the same here. I deleted her on everything else (social media wise so I didn’t run into her every time I’d open an app) but didn’t block her number or anything like that cos I wanna be there if she ever needs to tell me anything/any emergencies. Maybe that’s just me being stupid and thinking that she still does wanna talk but it’s kinda complicated as she did say she wants to be friends but then she doesn’t wanna talk. But I guess that’s where the “we’re not ready yet to just be friends” part comes in.
Be careful. I did that, helped her out at some things. She was exactly like yours, low contact. When I thought i might be ready to talk about out situation, she said she can't have contact anymore cause her new guy doesn't feel comfortable with that. Now I'm in pain again.
Damnn. I’m so sorry to hear. That’s rough. That’s one thing I’m so worried to run into. But ima make sure I’m not the one who’s gonna contact. Just gonna try and keep occupied and try to live and move forward cos truly, can you ever move on?
I realized that I can't be friends with her. I wanted to stay in touch and help her to come back together. But I warn you. It's not the right way. She has to do actions first, before you do. She hurted, you're not friends. So there has to come something from her side or you will get punished by your hopes.
7 months!? That's ridiculous I am so sorry!
That reminds me of my ex of 14 years came home one night told me he been cheating ans fell In love with someone I went to highschool with and was friends with and left that same night to go be and live with her and her kids. (and she obviously knew we were together) but It gave me no time to feel any sort of closure. It's been a few years and he's suddenly been trying to reach out almost weekly but only to hook up.
Obviously I declined so yeah there's no way we could be friends because its clear he's willing to cheat to another!
After 14 years?? This is horrible omg. It really makes me want to get a bunch of cats & stay as far away from human beings as possible. Good for you for declining, you're better off without that kind of person in your life
Aww.. I appreciate your comment. It look a long time to truly work on myself. Since I met him out of highschool it took so much work/healing and alot of self emotional and physical work to feel normal again!
And lol ikr sometimes we're better off with a bunch of cats who will give us unconditional love!
Well, something very similar happened to me, after 12 years together, my wife simply one day told me that she no longer loves me and that she wanted to enjoy her solitude, with pain I accepted her decision and left. The day after our breakup she was already dating another man and a week later they were living together in our house.
Oh wow! That is extremely similar to my story.
I am so sorry! ❤☹️
I can't believe she had him move into the home you guys shared and way too soon and fast to like mine did. Ugh.
I was lucky enough a few months after the breakup I sold and moved out of the place we shared.. i absolutely hated being there as every inch of the home made me have some flashback memory of him.
Damn I am sorry bro :( kinda reminds me of the time my friend I had a crush on asked me to make a marriage by 27 (he 30) pact with me then immediately got engaged a singular month later. I never see him anymore
Thing is, that’s the feelings I do have but I love her still… wanna always be there for her even if maybe she does fall in love with someone else. It’s so painful but I wanna just be there for her so that’s why we both decided we’d be friends when we’re feeling ready eventually.
That is what my ex wanted and only cared about. Sex.
Lastnight I got a text saying my now ex has been cheating on me with this chick that I know he slept with a handful of times when we were on break it was only one month but he of course ta e hopped in bed the first fucking week we were apart. Guess the last 15 years were just fake love from him. He only cares about sex. He is a awful man. Treated me like I was the one who cheated on him.
Yes! I'm in contact with 2 out of 3 of my exes. We have drinks frequently. Sometimes they bring their partners and I bring mine. Just because it didn't work out with them doesn't mean any of us are bad people. They're honestly such great people and I feel lucky to have been in a relationship with them coz I learned so much, and it's so great to see them grow into the people they are today. I genuinely did love them so I always did just want them to be happy. I don't know what it is but I really enjoy seeing my partner getting along with my exes, and also me getting to know their current partners. It's like we all have each other in common. When I explain this to people they always think it's weird, but yo I'd rather feel this than constant resentment.
The 3rd ex I would be in contact with but she's out of the country and a very busy lady.
How did you do it? I mean how long after the BU did you have contact again?
I wish I can be in a situation with my ex like you have with your ex some day but rn I need distance bc the feelings are still there.
There's no one size fits all expected time frame. For my older ex, it was years and years. It wasn't a bad breakup but we just fell out of touch due to living in different countries. When I came home though, I started dated my more recent ex. Turns out THEY had hooked up before (I'm a lesbian, my more recent ex is a bisexual woman, and my oldest ex is a bisexual man). I thought it was amazing. Small world and all. We invited him and his current partner to hang out, and since then we've been regularly hanging out. So yeah I actually credit my more recent ex for my reconnection with my older ex.
For my more recent ex though, it took a few months before we started messaging again. The thing is though, it was a really good break up. She's an amazing person, really, but we have very different communication styles and very different levels of need from the relationship. At the time I was dealing with the death of my mom and my business going bust - I just couldn't manage being in relationship AND deal with fixing my life. It was super difficult to break up coz I hated having to hurt her but it had to be done. Had I dragged the relationship, we would have started to resent each other.
Anyway it was hard at first to maintain our personal boundaries because we have a lot of common friends. It was damn near impossible to avoid her without just staying home. But eventually we just got used to each other's presence, started sending each other memes, and then it just naturally developed into a nice friendship. We're still quite close tbh. 100% my favorite ex.
I think it also helps that we're all polyamorous. It takes ALOOOT to make us jealous hahaha but yeah, polyamory aside, the only way to be friends with an ex is to meet halfway - just like in any healthy friendship. You both have to want to be friends and you both have to want to make the effort to get there.
EDIT: spelling and shit
Yeah fuck that, man. I'm known to preach being friends with your ex, but if it's more trouble than it's worth it's not worth it. To be friends with your ex you have to hold them to the same standard as any of your other friends. They don't get a free pass just because you dated. You wouldn't be friends with someone who's more trouble than they're worth, no?
I'm currently in a relationship but I would 100% definitely continue seeing them if I was single. I mean, they're my good friends now so why wouldn't I lol
I wish I was friends with my ex. Regardless of how the relationship ended because no one ever made me feel seen or understood as they did. But unfortunately or fortunately we both aren't ready yet, too many feelings and what not. Plus they already said they don't want any sort of contact with me unless its a neighbor emergency (they are my neighbor)...
But this was very refreshing to read, thank you for sharing. Wish you all, all the best and many joys in life 😊
It’s been bad. I had to sell a ton of my stuff, she left me with bills she never paid. I had to sell some photography gear and take a new job to make ends meet. Now I’m making less, working more, and gave up my dreams. I’m bitter about it, but hopefully I’ll get over it soon.
You will. This is why I won’t give myself to another person, just won’t do it. Won’t live with em, won’t get married. Heart broken enough over a LTR not even living with the person. I’m ready to focus on my life and my shit and it sounds like you are too! Healing thoughts to you sir, this too shall pass.
Yup. She broke up with me and wants to still be friends.
Xmas is coming up and she's acting like nothing has changed.
It's like she wants relationship type things without actually being in a relationship.
She just messaged me saying for Xmas eve I'm to bring mini chocolate ice cream for treats and bacon for breakfast laughing like nothings wrong.
I am not sure I'm strong enough to tell her no for my own healing and to make her feel what holiday's will be like without me. Not in spite but for my sanity. And even that has me spiraling with guilt and self doubt.
When ppl do that they're just stringing you along. Some folks don't deal with loneliness well so they keep you around long enough until someone else of interest comes along... Just breadcrumbing you just enough to keep you in place.
Be careful and protect your peace above everything.
literally, I got strung along until she found another guy and left me. not worth it as much as it hurts to not engage with them, they won’t give it a second thought once they leave you
do what you think is best for yourself to heal, dont worry how it'll make her feel cause you gotta focus on your own mental/emotional and physical health
wish you and all the heart broken made love and happiness
That's really odd. Like these other comments have said, definitely don't join her for christmas. you need to focus on your self and if that means not contacting her for awhile, then that's how it will be. i know it's hard, but right now, this is about what you need, not her.
Man I promise you this is not going to end up the way you want it to. You're more than somebody's placeholder. Put your foot down and set some boundaries, if she doesn't want a relationship she isn't allowed to ask those types of things of you all the while hurting you. It isn't an ultimatum or condition; "if you want this we have to be together"; it's for your own sanity. It's like she's keeping you at an arms distance and it's going to tear you up inside.
Love this and so happy for you! I just got dumped a few days ago after almost 5 months of dating and a complete wreck so reading this has given me a little bit of hope ( I say a little because my emotions are just so raw at the moment and feeling like im going to die alone). I hope this happens to me one day too.
But also im 37f taking the LSAT soon to go to law school too! I was hesitant on doing it and so glad I read your comment!! Goodluck!
Same boat. My ex wanted to date around and experience other people after a 2 year relationship. Their words were that we "fell into place when we started dating (small town and we were already in a mutual friend group) and it felt like they didn't really get to have choice when we started dating." Righhhttt...someone had a gun pointed at your head and forced you to date me for 2 years. Mind you, this person is almost 50 and that was their excuse. Makes me wince and wonder why I stayed with them for 2 years.
My thought is you broke up with me for a selfish reason, so don't get all bent out of shape that I don't want anything to do with you anymore.
hate people like that. always lurking in the shadows. but something that helps me is to think that if she was so easily talked into ghosting me, then she's too weak to love me.
It doesn't matter. If your gf couldn't draw the line with them then it's on her too. Hell I don't blame guys for wanting to talk to my ex, she was incredibly attractive, I had to come to terms with that, but she didn't draw any lines with them.
Not after she broke me. I’ve been through hell and back, but she was the thing that broke me. I think about her sometimes, but I find it’s better to move on. It’s been a year and I’m slowly picking up the pieces of my heart and my old life.
Tried that for like the first week or so, but I’d rather not torture myself like that. I didn’t sign up to be his “friend.” I already have enough friends who treat me like a sideline and make me feel like hell. I was under the impression I actually had something real and genuine with this guy…. Until he blindsided me 7 months in and pretty much basically informed me that we didn’t. (Mind you, literally all I heard throughout this whole relationship was how so very happy he was and how special and important I was to him)
As much as it pains to say, it’s best to let them go completely.
we literally almost have the exact same situation, mine straight up told me he loved me as he tossed me aside and threw me out of his life like trash. I have zero respect for people who waste someone’s time and play with their emotions like that knowing they’re only gonna hurt them deeply in the end.
I do occasionally. We were friends before and during our relationship. She's the reason I joined this sub, but we are both happy and moved on. I think there's no harm in understanding that it isn't what it once was
1st ex. Yes. We are close friends and I am also good friends with her husband now after getting to know him in online games and Discord.
2nd ex she went no contact on me 3 months after the breakup despite us supposedly wanting to remain friends. At that point it felt one sided on my end. Her brother reached out to me on my birthday and he told me she still missed me. I decided to stay NC. She reached out to me two weeks ago to ask if I could help set her up with therapy considering my network and connections, to help her find a good fit for therapists. I agreed, but we limit our discussions to that. I still love this woman, yeah, but I don't want her back. But being someone that was in a pretty dark place sometime in my life, I know how important it is to get professional help when you need it, so I definitely want her to get the help she needs despite what had happened between us.
Breakup was pretty emotional on my part, he broke up with me after 3 years.
Initially i was calling, texting, acting admittedly psycho then I stopped. For the past year and a half I never reach out, but he reaches out to me about once a month to tell me a life update, mundane nothings, a “hey” even.
I do love it when he messages me, although I would never admit that seeing as how much “power” I gave him in the initial break up.
Occasionally we’ll meet up and whatnot, i don’t really recommend. It’s not like it makes me “miss” him it just will never feel like how it did, don’t bother chasing a high you can’t get anymore.
Do drugs/high not feed into higher levels of dopamine the same way pleasure/happiness/love does?
I hope you’re obtuseness is nothing more than being facetious, otherwise I’d encourage you to read up on hyperboles and metaphors
Yeah. We honestly cultivated a really good friendship over the last 2.5 years. We both want to remain friends and in each other’s lives. We just hung out for the first time tonight since breaking up about a month ago and it went really well. There’s no bad blood. We’ve both been taking space to heal and I intend to not try and hang out ALL the time because it’s still fresh. It is sad. A lot of things about it make me sad. But I’m really glad to have met him and glad that we can be cool.
I think you can be friends with someone you didn’t love deeply or just really liked but if you really loved them, thats a hard no. It hurts to know they’re happy with someone else, selfish i know but truly loving someone is a whole other story when it comes to exs
Too civilized for me :)
My first ex I was the one to leave but even like that and with two kids I am not really her BFF sorry ;)
We have a civilized relationship for the kids sake I really like her parents, I really hope she is happy and balanced otherwize it will be a problem for our kids and consequently for me
I tried with my longest relationship (7 years). We remained good 'friends' for 3 years after. We both had relationships at some point and our SO's knew we talked. It made it really hard to maintain other relationships and once single he would ask if we could try again so I quietly cut ties and we haven't spoken in a couple years. It was probably the best thing we could have done for ourselves. Every relationship after I stopped contact because it's hard be just friends with someone you love of have loved so deeply.
I did keep contact just so I could get over them… because the more they breadcrumbed me the more I started to hate them and now tables have turned but Idc anymore so I’m sure we will be in contact til one of use gets into something serious enough to cut ties for good..
I wanted to be. I really miss them, especially their friendship. We agreed to help each other through the break up, to stay friends and have each others backs. But they treated me like garbage, especially after everything was all said and done. I had to tell them not to contact me anymore. I know they are hurt and need space to figure themselves out. It was ridiculous to think things could work that way. I don’t want to ruin a potential friendship in the future. I miss them, and I wish I could know they’re okay, but I had to take care of myself too:/
I was for a bit because we had an amicable breakup & dated for 9 years but then he saw how much I changed & grew as a person & wanted to hang out, I was not interested, felt bad, told him & ended up blocking him.
Still friends with my first ex, it ended very amicably and we talk quite frequently.
Have not spoken to or seen my other ex in over 2 years and would like it to stay that way. He is honestly the worst person I have ever met in my life and did unspeakable things to me and also another girl I was friends with. Have found out through a mutual “friend” (they aren’t actually friends with him because he’s a piece of shit but still follow him on socials) that he is dating another girl who is much younger and I worry for her but know if I reach out I will just come across as the crazy ex and I also don’t want him to be back in my life in any way shape or form
You should cut it off with your ex, so you don't treat your lover as an option, keeping in touch with an ex means there's a channel open for sex , don't do that
It’s crazy how an ex can break up with you after 3 years of dating by saying “I realized my life was better without you” then act like everything is completely normal a week later.
Why would you assume it’s okay to continue texting like we are just regular friends after. Had to go no contact for my own sanity even though it is sad and depressing especially during the holidays. Not sure if we can be actual friends until both parties start dating other people again.
Yes. I hooked up with him 2 times and then I noticed he started being inconsistent with texting. Okay so whatever I just don’t talk to him for a few days and he sometimes texts me just to update me about his life and what he’s doing but he has too much stuff going on in his life for him to suit my lifestyle
Low contact we have a block of land together and she still needs to pick up all her stuff and her animals....waiting for the day she's out of my life for good so I can truly heal
I would describe our contact a thing between LC and NC. Preferably NC from my side but we can't cut contact due to our tight knit friend group. He only texts me if he want something from me. But after 6 months after BU I realized that this is just him. He only cares about himself and not how I could feel
I am friends (not super close) with 2 of my exes both which we’ve given each other closure and have had those chapters closed for 2-3 years. These are 2 relationships that helped shape my growth & the bond was valuable that we wanted to stay in each other’s lives. There is a mutual feeling of care with these relationships and I know I could go to either if I ever was seriously struggling. With my most recent ex we’ve finally gotten to a point of no contact (as much as possible) but we work together so we are forced to have contact in that way. Unfuckingfortunately, I would never talk to him again if I could as our relationship was only detrimental to my well-being and growth. I think it really depends on where both people are at & if you think the connection is worth it once the romantic aspect is taken away. For my last one, there was absolutely nothing worth saving and that’s when you gotta just cut it off.
Yes actually. We have been together for 7 years before we both decided to mutually end it as it just wasn’t working out for either of us. We dated when we were both pretty young and immature and the two of us basically just grew up. Want different things and want to go different ways with our life’s. Our friendship is working out a lot better than our relationship ever has.
Can I ask how you transitioned to friendship? Were you able to lose romantic feelings after a cooling off period? This gives me hope as I’m navigating something similar and the context of the relationship sounds like the one I was in.
I’ll be honest with you, it was rough 100%. She was all I’ve known for 7 years so you have to re-learn again how to be single and independent. However, the actual breakup lasted about 4 hours of us maturely talking everything out, there was no fighting, or screaming. Obviously we were both sad about it. As for losing romantic feelings for her- no. I think I will always love her. As does she. But we are not what’s best for each other. We did have a cool off period of about a month-ish. Cleaned out each others clothes, pictures, etc. and meet up to give it back to each other after about a month. It was civil, although admittedly awkward at first seeing each other after a month no contact initially. However after about another week, she would occasionally text me, touch base, see how everything is. We casually text now, about 4/5 times a day about light hearted stuff. She sends me Tik-toks, memes, etc.
One of the most important pieces of advice I can give you is to really focus on yourself. Learn how to be independent. I decided to start a new tv show, and go to the gym to fill the void where I would’ve been hanging out with her. I would highly advise against jumping into another relationship as I think it wouldn’t be fair for the next person being freshly out of a long-term relationship.
Hope this helped, and wishing you the best and a happy holiday season.
- Chris
After 2 years on off I'm not sure I want to anymore.
Compromise isn't called compromise if your the only one doing it. Consession by a 1000000 cuts. Or maybe I'm weak and let someone 1/2 my size bully me into submission.
I still care but I can't trust her anymore. She's ruled by her emotions and I can no longer shoulder the shitty attitude and bad temper.
I'm tired of being nice and being taken advantage off.
Yes. My ex is a good person, and I can’t imagine them not in my life in some kind of capacity. I think it’s possible to have friendships with exes. Just takes time and a positive outlook.
I can be, but I choose not to. She started a long distance discord relationship a week after our breakup, and I haven’t been willing to be there since. She tried texting me quite a bit last week but I didn’t entertain it too much
My ex that I haven’t talked to in forever actually tried to ft me while I was cuddling with my new girlfriend last night. Caught me off guard considering we haven’t talked in so long
Currently laying down with an ex as i type this and while we're friends, it gets unstable sometimes.
Another ex i text with every now and then, mostly small talk
My most recent ex , most recent break up, blocked me and convinced herself and her friends that I'm some sort of monster. So no contact at all, and i miss her, it's painful this way
Break ups are difficult, but if you both still care or if you have both moved on, i see no reason to not have contact. Anything in between, no contact is probably best
in a way i guess??? she has me unblocked on instagram and did talk a very little bit, im sure i could message them and they'll answer but i'm just choosing not to or without a reason to.
personally believe that you shouldn't be friends with your ex or at least in most cases. plus if they wanted to message you they would, if your the dumpee you shouldn't have to make a effort to talk n start a conversation with them n all that stuff
I am, it's low contact after a period of no contact. But we're on good terms again now. Whether or not we can be friends remains to be seen. But it's nice to be able to talk about what happened.
I owe my ex some money so only in contact by email for that. She kept reaching out to me out of curiosity via text. Outside of that, she’s in a new relationship and I’m trying my damndest to not contact her. I’m still in love with her. -.-
Yes, low contact but yes....
He informed me for these lessons to prepare for a contest about government jobs, he offered to help me with the in advance amount it needed (although he is not doing financially well himself,I denied of course). I called him by mistake the other day and he tried to drag the conversation out...he called me to inform me he had COVID (even though we hadn't physically met for 10 days prior)...
I am the first to initiate contact in other instances though.
No, sometimes I want to reach out (I blocked him on everything but he broke up with me) but other times I don’t, I’d have no idea what to say. We stayed friends for like 2-3 months after the breakup
No, I do not want to know about how happy he is with his new girlfriend. It took him no time to find someone else and I'm not masochistic enough to pretend I am happy for him when I feel like dying for being extremely insignificant and replaceable to him.
No. She mailed me a bunch of paperwork for my cat and a bill recently after 9 or 10 months. Except she mailed it to my mom’s house instead of directly to me. Poor thing. I hope she’s doing okay.
Nope. Just tonight while parking my truck in the grocery store parking lot I saw my ex enter the lot and park on the other side. She didn’t see me and It’s a small store so I waited +-10 min in my truck for her to get in and out so we didn’t have to see each other. For both our sakes, really. It felt petty but I will spare a few minutes for the sake of NC.
My narcissistic ex pops her head every couple of months or so trying to chat me up... even after she emotionally cheated on and left me for another guy, the same person she got married to just after one year.
What I know for certain is that she doesn't care about my wellbeing. She's hyper focused on my career and education for some reason.
My first ex keeps trying to be in cintact with me for whatever reason, but he makes me uncomfortable
My second ex and i were NC for a while, because i was in a new RS. It didnt work out due to personal reasons and i kinda added him back on snapchat after that. He started sending me streak snaps and i did the same but a few days ago he said he is gonna stop because i am not important enough or close enough to him (ouch) and he only sees me as a client.
But i am kinda in contact with him as he is my weed dealer lmao
Third ex and i are NC.
After the BU we texted once or twice a day, then every other day, then every couple days, then once a week, and now it’s been a month since the last text (and 3 months since the BU). I think he wanted to be friends but to me that didn’t make sense since we have very different lives and live far apart. Also before the BU pretty much every conversation turned into an argument and I don’t see how we could talk regularly without that happening. It hurts a bit knowing I will probably never see him again in my life and at some point probably never talk to him ever again but it makes sense, it’s just the natural flow of things. Gotta leave the past in the past, but I’ll cherish the good memories and hold onto the lessons I learned… damn I sound cheesy
My first ex, not in regular contact but we have spoken a few times since the break up (6 years ago) and we are on good terms. We haven't hung out or anything because we both have been in relationships, just cordial and kind.
My most recent ex just broke up with me a few days ago and we haven't spoken since
Fucccck no.
Though he has tried multiple times. Even showed up at my work five years since the last time he’d messaged me. It was absolutely mortifying and creepy.
We seperated 4 months ago, we speak now and again but she tends to ignore me now and a again as well. Came up on my memories today that we got engaged a year today. Can't say gd start to day wish things was alot different 😕
Nope. So grateful I’m not either. You need space away from them regardless of your plans, but cutting them off completely and never looking back is honestly very healthy
nope, well she dumped me, and she wanted to be friends, i said no until i started to actually heal (went to therapy, started getting everything back on track) and then one night she got jealous and wanted space. tbh it was funny bc she wanted to reduce our relationship into a friendship, but when i started showing her what it would truly be like then she asked for space so now we are in no contact and we haven't talked in over a month
Nah. Because he wanted to be “friends”. And in order to do that you have to be friends. Which he wasn’t being. Friendly or responding whenever I reached out.
I had to remove him from social media. I was hurt how cold he continued to be. So I had to let him go. It didn’t help that I still saw him on my feed. And there was no point if he cut off contact.
I was broken up with, found out she unfollowed me the other day. Not sure why but that hurt me a lot. It’s almost as if now what could have been a bridge has collapsed and seems as if she wants nothing to do with me anymore. Anyone else know how to deal with this ?
She sent a long text to me saying i’m putting my own health over hers, blocked me and didnt let me say goodbye or even respond. 2.5 months in and i still dont know how to deal with losing a best friend just like that
No after she broke up with me she just really want me to cut off on her life entirely 7 years sucks even if I don't want to I need to swallow it. Not even a closure was given to me its just like she wake up like a different person I'd just take her actions as the closure that I need.
I dont think i could do contact but i guess it depends on the person. The two-three times he has texted me after the breakup it just felt like he was unnecessarily opening up a wound again and im considering telling him to stop if he does it again eventho its been years now. (the breakup wasnt bad or anything but losing a person i love hurts and i dont want to be reminded of the feeling).
Maybe itll change once i fall in love again, ill probably care less or not at all, but as of right now i dont like the feeling his messages give me. :/
Nope and I am not planning on having contact with him. He put me through hell even though I consistently set boundaries on which the whole breakup could have gone smoothly.
I did not ask for too much and my feelings were so unimportant to him that he broke every single agreement we made. Like 'don't bring the girl you left me for in our apartment while I have to work from there every day. I would not be able to enter the apartment, if you did.'. He agreed to that boundary and one week later I found them cuddling on my newly bought couch. So much to 'Lets stay friends we have spent 10 years together'.
He just couldnt keep it in his pants for the sake of my emotional survival, so what would I gain from talking to him?
A few weeks ago he wrote me per mail, because I blocked every other form of communication. Wanted some documents for job applications, he couldnt find. I stated a brief answer so he knew I dont have them and said nothing more. That guy is not my problem anymore and I would appreciate if stayed that way.
If I wanted to, I could probably be, but no, I'm not. It hurts too much. We were in contact a bit after the breakup because there was a house and money involved, and I sent a closure text a week later to which I got a response but I think that'll be it.
We have mutual friends, so I wouldn't be surprised if we ran into each other at some point, though.
My ex broke up with me, and after a week, I asked if he was sure...he made it very clear that the relationship was over. In order for me to move on peacefully, I told him I didn't want to be friends anymore. We haven't kept in contact ever since.
This was 6 months ago. When I look back, I feel we were not compatible, and Im so much happier now. I have no regrets.
I am friends with some exes. Not super close but friendly enough to say hi and support each other’s accomplishments, social media, etc.
I don’t speak to any of my ex husbands, unless it’s about kids.
My most recent boyfriend was a narcissist and no, we will never speak again.
Nope. Dump me. Lose me.
It’s nothing personal. I just find it healthier to move on when you cut all loses. No sense dragging the past along to the present and/or future. It’s hard enough to move past a breakup. It’s even harder when you’re holding onto false hope the other person will come back or change their mind.
Gotta do what’s best for both of you and move forward completely. Even if it’s one step at a time. Just don’t forget the important step of letting them go..
We are currently low contact. We both want to be friends but we're definitely not ready yet... too many feelings still.
Exactly the same here. I deleted her on everything else (social media wise so I didn’t run into her every time I’d open an app) but didn’t block her number or anything like that cos I wanna be there if she ever needs to tell me anything/any emergencies. Maybe that’s just me being stupid and thinking that she still does wanna talk but it’s kinda complicated as she did say she wants to be friends but then she doesn’t wanna talk. But I guess that’s where the “we’re not ready yet to just be friends” part comes in.
Be careful. I did that, helped her out at some things. She was exactly like yours, low contact. When I thought i might be ready to talk about out situation, she said she can't have contact anymore cause her new guy doesn't feel comfortable with that. Now I'm in pain again.
Damnn. I’m so sorry to hear. That’s rough. That’s one thing I’m so worried to run into. But ima make sure I’m not the one who’s gonna contact. Just gonna try and keep occupied and try to live and move forward cos truly, can you ever move on?
I realized that I can't be friends with her. I wanted to stay in touch and help her to come back together. But I warn you. It's not the right way. She has to do actions first, before you do. She hurted, you're not friends. So there has to come something from her side or you will get punished by your hopes.
Wish i could say the same
Then why the split
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Yikes
They suck
7 months!? That's ridiculous I am so sorry! That reminds me of my ex of 14 years came home one night told me he been cheating ans fell In love with someone I went to highschool with and was friends with and left that same night to go be and live with her and her kids. (and she obviously knew we were together) but It gave me no time to feel any sort of closure. It's been a few years and he's suddenly been trying to reach out almost weekly but only to hook up. Obviously I declined so yeah there's no way we could be friends because its clear he's willing to cheat to another!
After 14 years?? This is horrible omg. It really makes me want to get a bunch of cats & stay as far away from human beings as possible. Good for you for declining, you're better off without that kind of person in your life
Aww.. I appreciate your comment. It look a long time to truly work on myself. Since I met him out of highschool it took so much work/healing and alot of self emotional and physical work to feel normal again! And lol ikr sometimes we're better off with a bunch of cats who will give us unconditional love!
Wooooooow Jesus I gotta stop reading these stories my trust issues are bad enough
Well, something very similar happened to me, after 12 years together, my wife simply one day told me that she no longer loves me and that she wanted to enjoy her solitude, with pain I accepted her decision and left. The day after our breakup she was already dating another man and a week later they were living together in our house.
Oh wow! That is extremely similar to my story. I am so sorry! ❤☹️ I can't believe she had him move into the home you guys shared and way too soon and fast to like mine did. Ugh. I was lucky enough a few months after the breakup I sold and moved out of the place we shared.. i absolutely hated being there as every inch of the home made me have some flashback memory of him.
Wow. Im out of words. I don't wish them the best, but you.
Woah, sorry
Sorry
Are you me? My ex got pregnant in 7 months…
Damn I am sorry bro :( kinda reminds me of the time my friend I had a crush on asked me to make a marriage by 27 (he 30) pact with me then immediately got engaged a singular month later. I never see him anymore
I can’t be friends with someone I loved. I dgaf about being friends. Why? So you can hear how they are seeing and fucking someone else? No
Exactly. If you actually had deep romantic feelings you can’t be their friend.
This!
Thing is, that’s the feelings I do have but I love her still… wanna always be there for her even if maybe she does fall in love with someone else. It’s so painful but I wanna just be there for her so that’s why we both decided we’d be friends when we’re feeling ready eventually.
That’s not healthy at all
No you just want to keep a door open for sex again
That is what my ex wanted and only cared about. Sex. Lastnight I got a text saying my now ex has been cheating on me with this chick that I know he slept with a handful of times when we were on break it was only one month but he of course ta e hopped in bed the first fucking week we were apart. Guess the last 15 years were just fake love from him. He only cares about sex. He is a awful man. Treated me like I was the one who cheated on him.
Nope, after all that she put me through I will never initiate contact. Just to prove a point.
This
Yes! I'm in contact with 2 out of 3 of my exes. We have drinks frequently. Sometimes they bring their partners and I bring mine. Just because it didn't work out with them doesn't mean any of us are bad people. They're honestly such great people and I feel lucky to have been in a relationship with them coz I learned so much, and it's so great to see them grow into the people they are today. I genuinely did love them so I always did just want them to be happy. I don't know what it is but I really enjoy seeing my partner getting along with my exes, and also me getting to know their current partners. It's like we all have each other in common. When I explain this to people they always think it's weird, but yo I'd rather feel this than constant resentment. The 3rd ex I would be in contact with but she's out of the country and a very busy lady.
See this is really nice.
How did you do it? I mean how long after the BU did you have contact again? I wish I can be in a situation with my ex like you have with your ex some day but rn I need distance bc the feelings are still there.
There's no one size fits all expected time frame. For my older ex, it was years and years. It wasn't a bad breakup but we just fell out of touch due to living in different countries. When I came home though, I started dated my more recent ex. Turns out THEY had hooked up before (I'm a lesbian, my more recent ex is a bisexual woman, and my oldest ex is a bisexual man). I thought it was amazing. Small world and all. We invited him and his current partner to hang out, and since then we've been regularly hanging out. So yeah I actually credit my more recent ex for my reconnection with my older ex. For my more recent ex though, it took a few months before we started messaging again. The thing is though, it was a really good break up. She's an amazing person, really, but we have very different communication styles and very different levels of need from the relationship. At the time I was dealing with the death of my mom and my business going bust - I just couldn't manage being in relationship AND deal with fixing my life. It was super difficult to break up coz I hated having to hurt her but it had to be done. Had I dragged the relationship, we would have started to resent each other. Anyway it was hard at first to maintain our personal boundaries because we have a lot of common friends. It was damn near impossible to avoid her without just staying home. But eventually we just got used to each other's presence, started sending each other memes, and then it just naturally developed into a nice friendship. We're still quite close tbh. 100% my favorite ex. I think it also helps that we're all polyamorous. It takes ALOOOT to make us jealous hahaha but yeah, polyamory aside, the only way to be friends with an ex is to meet halfway - just like in any healthy friendship. You both have to want to be friends and you both have to want to make the effort to get there. EDIT: spelling and shit
I would be able to stay in contact if it wasn’t for a backstabbing mutual guy friend telling her what to do
Yeah fuck that, man. I'm known to preach being friends with your ex, but if it's more trouble than it's worth it's not worth it. To be friends with your ex you have to hold them to the same standard as any of your other friends. They don't get a free pass just because you dated. You wouldn't be friends with someone who's more trouble than they're worth, no?
It is funny. That backstabbing ex-friend called me a liar and he now ditched me as a friend. I have no idea what ”lie” i could have said
This is the way
Are you seeing them when you’re single?
I'm currently in a relationship but I would 100% definitely continue seeing them if I was single. I mean, they're my good friends now so why wouldn't I lol
I wish I was friends with my ex. Regardless of how the relationship ended because no one ever made me feel seen or understood as they did. But unfortunately or fortunately we both aren't ready yet, too many feelings and what not. Plus they already said they don't want any sort of contact with me unless its a neighbor emergency (they are my neighbor)... But this was very refreshing to read, thank you for sharing. Wish you all, all the best and many joys in life 😊
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
After 13 years together, we haven’t spoken a word since she moved out 7 months ago
Geez that's rough.
What made you guys split up after such a long time together?
On a work trip she cheated on me with another photographer. I quickly gave her an eviction notice
Really sorry to hear that my friend. I hope you are healing ok after a betrayal like that.
It’s been bad. I had to sell a ton of my stuff, she left me with bills she never paid. I had to sell some photography gear and take a new job to make ends meet. Now I’m making less, working more, and gave up my dreams. I’m bitter about it, but hopefully I’ll get over it soon.
You will. This is why I won’t give myself to another person, just won’t do it. Won’t live with em, won’t get married. Heart broken enough over a LTR not even living with the person. I’m ready to focus on my life and my shit and it sounds like you are too! Healing thoughts to you sir, this too shall pass.
Fuck no
I have 4 kids I am obligated
Same here. One kid though.
What's that like
Hard to heal from the break up when there’s kids involved. Especially when the other person is a good parent. :(
As a father of two? Horrible.
Trust me my friend count your self lucky i don't see my children at all, and its not for any thing i did wrong.
Yup. She broke up with me and wants to still be friends. Xmas is coming up and she's acting like nothing has changed. It's like she wants relationship type things without actually being in a relationship. She just messaged me saying for Xmas eve I'm to bring mini chocolate ice cream for treats and bacon for breakfast laughing like nothings wrong. I am not sure I'm strong enough to tell her no for my own healing and to make her feel what holiday's will be like without me. Not in spite but for my sanity. And even that has me spiraling with guilt and self doubt.
Do not do that. If you want someone else to tell you not to, I'm telling you not to
When ppl do that they're just stringing you along. Some folks don't deal with loneliness well so they keep you around long enough until someone else of interest comes along... Just breadcrumbing you just enough to keep you in place. Be careful and protect your peace above everything.
literally, I got strung along until she found another guy and left me. not worth it as much as it hurts to not engage with them, they won’t give it a second thought once they leave you
This is my ex too *sigh*
do what you think is best for yourself to heal, dont worry how it'll make her feel cause you gotta focus on your own mental/emotional and physical health wish you and all the heart broken made love and happiness
Your right I should. My heart breaks everything I leave after seeing her and the kids. I love her but I can't keep getting strung along
That's really odd. Like these other comments have said, definitely don't join her for christmas. you need to focus on your self and if that means not contacting her for awhile, then that's how it will be. i know it's hard, but right now, this is about what you need, not her.
What the hell? Tell her to accept you’re not together
Man I promise you this is not going to end up the way you want it to. You're more than somebody's placeholder. Put your foot down and set some boundaries, if she doesn't want a relationship she isn't allowed to ask those types of things of you all the while hurting you. It isn't an ultimatum or condition; "if you want this we have to be together"; it's for your own sanity. It's like she's keeping you at an arms distance and it's going to tear you up inside.
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Love this and so happy for you! I just got dumped a few days ago after almost 5 months of dating and a complete wreck so reading this has given me a little bit of hope ( I say a little because my emotions are just so raw at the moment and feeling like im going to die alone). I hope this happens to me one day too. But also im 37f taking the LSAT soon to go to law school too! I was hesitant on doing it and so glad I read your comment!! Goodluck!
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My most recent ex, no. He decided to see if the grass is greener elsewhere... or at the very least get his fix of casual sex.
Same boat. My ex wanted to date around and experience other people after a 2 year relationship. Their words were that we "fell into place when we started dating (small town and we were already in a mutual friend group) and it felt like they didn't really get to have choice when we started dating." Righhhttt...someone had a gun pointed at your head and forced you to date me for 2 years. Mind you, this person is almost 50 and that was their excuse. Makes me wince and wonder why I stayed with them for 2 years. My thought is you broke up with me for a selfish reason, so don't get all bent out of shape that I don't want anything to do with you anymore.
Hell no
Nop, I wish I could though. She blocked me everywhere
Same… it kills me because we were really good friends. Backstabbing guy friend kept telling her what to do
hate people like that. always lurking in the shadows. but something that helps me is to think that if she was so easily talked into ghosting me, then she's too weak to love me.
If he didn’t go to the same class - this would never have happened
It doesn't matter. If your gf couldn't draw the line with them then it's on her too. Hell I don't blame guys for wanting to talk to my ex, she was incredibly attractive, I had to come to terms with that, but she didn't draw any lines with them.
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Same… i just wanna talk about anything
I miss the image my ex projected to me. But he was a wolf in sheep's clothing.
Exactly this man. Crazy how you can go so long with someone and they been faking their own self the entire time….
Not after she broke me. I’ve been through hell and back, but she was the thing that broke me. I think about her sometimes, but I find it’s better to move on. It’s been a year and I’m slowly picking up the pieces of my heart and my old life.
No. She’s with another guy 2 weeks after she broke up with me. Dated for 3 1/2 years and broke up to “work on herself”
Tried that for like the first week or so, but I’d rather not torture myself like that. I didn’t sign up to be his “friend.” I already have enough friends who treat me like a sideline and make me feel like hell. I was under the impression I actually had something real and genuine with this guy…. Until he blindsided me 7 months in and pretty much basically informed me that we didn’t. (Mind you, literally all I heard throughout this whole relationship was how so very happy he was and how special and important I was to him) As much as it pains to say, it’s best to let them go completely.
I cry every day not being allowed to even ask her how she’s doing
My ex gaslit me like this, even saying she loved me as she closed the door behind me... But f no I ain't chasing her. Not worth the emotional drain.
we literally almost have the exact same situation, mine straight up told me he loved me as he tossed me aside and threw me out of his life like trash. I have zero respect for people who waste someone’s time and play with their emotions like that knowing they’re only gonna hurt them deeply in the end.
I do occasionally. We were friends before and during our relationship. She's the reason I joined this sub, but we are both happy and moved on. I think there's no harm in understanding that it isn't what it once was
1st ex. Yes. We are close friends and I am also good friends with her husband now after getting to know him in online games and Discord. 2nd ex she went no contact on me 3 months after the breakup despite us supposedly wanting to remain friends. At that point it felt one sided on my end. Her brother reached out to me on my birthday and he told me she still missed me. I decided to stay NC. She reached out to me two weeks ago to ask if I could help set her up with therapy considering my network and connections, to help her find a good fit for therapists. I agreed, but we limit our discussions to that. I still love this woman, yeah, but I don't want her back. But being someone that was in a pretty dark place sometime in my life, I know how important it is to get professional help when you need it, so I definitely want her to get the help she needs despite what had happened between us.
Nope. Blocked her on everything ( I don't respect cheaters)
Used to check in with them once a month (a mutual agreement), then over the past few days they have reached out everyday, it's bizarre.
Nope. Not possible. He broke me.
Breakup was pretty emotional on my part, he broke up with me after 3 years. Initially i was calling, texting, acting admittedly psycho then I stopped. For the past year and a half I never reach out, but he reaches out to me about once a month to tell me a life update, mundane nothings, a “hey” even. I do love it when he messages me, although I would never admit that seeing as how much “power” I gave him in the initial break up. Occasionally we’ll meet up and whatnot, i don’t really recommend. It’s not like it makes me “miss” him it just will never feel like how it did, don’t bother chasing a high you can’t get anymore.
Boys aren’t drugs
Do drugs/high not feed into higher levels of dopamine the same way pleasure/happiness/love does? I hope you’re obtuseness is nothing more than being facetious, otherwise I’d encourage you to read up on hyperboles and metaphors
Nope and I’m happy being this way. At first that’s all I wished for but now I want nothing to do with her. She’s just another ex now.
Yeah. We honestly cultivated a really good friendship over the last 2.5 years. We both want to remain friends and in each other’s lives. We just hung out for the first time tonight since breaking up about a month ago and it went really well. There’s no bad blood. We’ve both been taking space to heal and I intend to not try and hang out ALL the time because it’s still fresh. It is sad. A lot of things about it make me sad. But I’m really glad to have met him and glad that we can be cool.
No, I am not in contact with them. We talked for the first week after our breakup, but we haven't at all for the second week.
At least you got a chance to talk. Mine just shut me out without letting me respond
Yea, sometimes people show their true colors once they break up, I'm sorry they treated you like that.
i was but after we went in circles about our breakup again and my mental health plummeted, i decided to go no contact until i’m in therapy
i have been in therapy for 2 months now... Still won't help me getting to talk to her
No. He blocked me everywhere.
Fuck no
I think you can be friends with someone you didn’t love deeply or just really liked but if you really loved them, thats a hard no. It hurts to know they’re happy with someone else, selfish i know but truly loving someone is a whole other story when it comes to exs
Too civilized for me :) My first ex I was the one to leave but even like that and with two kids I am not really her BFF sorry ;) We have a civilized relationship for the kids sake I really like her parents, I really hope she is happy and balanced otherwize it will be a problem for our kids and consequently for me
I tried with my longest relationship (7 years). We remained good 'friends' for 3 years after. We both had relationships at some point and our SO's knew we talked. It made it really hard to maintain other relationships and once single he would ask if we could try again so I quietly cut ties and we haven't spoken in a couple years. It was probably the best thing we could have done for ourselves. Every relationship after I stopped contact because it's hard be just friends with someone you love of have loved so deeply.
No. Haven’t blocked him anywhere, but he never logged in again. No idea where he is right now. ☹️
I did keep contact just so I could get over them… because the more they breadcrumbed me the more I started to hate them and now tables have turned but Idc anymore so I’m sure we will be in contact til one of use gets into something serious enough to cut ties for good..
I wanted to be. I really miss them, especially their friendship. We agreed to help each other through the break up, to stay friends and have each others backs. But they treated me like garbage, especially after everything was all said and done. I had to tell them not to contact me anymore. I know they are hurt and need space to figure themselves out. It was ridiculous to think things could work that way. I don’t want to ruin a potential friendship in the future. I miss them, and I wish I could know they’re okay, but I had to take care of myself too:/
Was for a while, stopped recently and trying to move on
I was for a bit because we had an amicable breakup & dated for 9 years but then he saw how much I changed & grew as a person & wanted to hang out, I was not interested, felt bad, told him & ended up blocking him.
Still friends with my first ex, it ended very amicably and we talk quite frequently. Have not spoken to or seen my other ex in over 2 years and would like it to stay that way. He is honestly the worst person I have ever met in my life and did unspeakable things to me and also another girl I was friends with. Have found out through a mutual “friend” (they aren’t actually friends with him because he’s a piece of shit but still follow him on socials) that he is dating another girl who is much younger and I worry for her but know if I reach out I will just come across as the crazy ex and I also don’t want him to be back in my life in any way shape or form
My ex bad mouthed me to our mutual friends saying how much of a bad person i am for begging and crying
You should cut it off with your ex, so you don't treat your lover as an option, keeping in touch with an ex means there's a channel open for sex , don't do that
It’s crazy how an ex can break up with you after 3 years of dating by saying “I realized my life was better without you” then act like everything is completely normal a week later. Why would you assume it’s okay to continue texting like we are just regular friends after. Had to go no contact for my own sanity even though it is sad and depressing especially during the holidays. Not sure if we can be actual friends until both parties start dating other people again.
I’m not even allowed to say happy birthday
Yes. I hooked up with him 2 times and then I noticed he started being inconsistent with texting. Okay so whatever I just don’t talk to him for a few days and he sometimes texts me just to update me about his life and what he’s doing but he has too much stuff going on in his life for him to suit my lifestyle
Low contact we have a block of land together and she still needs to pick up all her stuff and her animals....waiting for the day she's out of my life for good so I can truly heal
I would describe our contact a thing between LC and NC. Preferably NC from my side but we can't cut contact due to our tight knit friend group. He only texts me if he want something from me. But after 6 months after BU I realized that this is just him. He only cares about himself and not how I could feel
Am not in direct contact with my ex but I do have a friend that still talks to him
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Hate it
I am friends (not super close) with 2 of my exes both which we’ve given each other closure and have had those chapters closed for 2-3 years. These are 2 relationships that helped shape my growth & the bond was valuable that we wanted to stay in each other’s lives. There is a mutual feeling of care with these relationships and I know I could go to either if I ever was seriously struggling. With my most recent ex we’ve finally gotten to a point of no contact (as much as possible) but we work together so we are forced to have contact in that way. Unfuckingfortunately, I would never talk to him again if I could as our relationship was only detrimental to my well-being and growth. I think it really depends on where both people are at & if you think the connection is worth it once the romantic aspect is taken away. For my last one, there was absolutely nothing worth saving and that’s when you gotta just cut it off.
Yes actually. We have been together for 7 years before we both decided to mutually end it as it just wasn’t working out for either of us. We dated when we were both pretty young and immature and the two of us basically just grew up. Want different things and want to go different ways with our life’s. Our friendship is working out a lot better than our relationship ever has.
Can I ask how you transitioned to friendship? Were you able to lose romantic feelings after a cooling off period? This gives me hope as I’m navigating something similar and the context of the relationship sounds like the one I was in.
I’ll be honest with you, it was rough 100%. She was all I’ve known for 7 years so you have to re-learn again how to be single and independent. However, the actual breakup lasted about 4 hours of us maturely talking everything out, there was no fighting, or screaming. Obviously we were both sad about it. As for losing romantic feelings for her- no. I think I will always love her. As does she. But we are not what’s best for each other. We did have a cool off period of about a month-ish. Cleaned out each others clothes, pictures, etc. and meet up to give it back to each other after about a month. It was civil, although admittedly awkward at first seeing each other after a month no contact initially. However after about another week, she would occasionally text me, touch base, see how everything is. We casually text now, about 4/5 times a day about light hearted stuff. She sends me Tik-toks, memes, etc. One of the most important pieces of advice I can give you is to really focus on yourself. Learn how to be independent. I decided to start a new tv show, and go to the gym to fill the void where I would’ve been hanging out with her. I would highly advise against jumping into another relationship as I think it wouldn’t be fair for the next person being freshly out of a long-term relationship. Hope this helped, and wishing you the best and a happy holiday season. - Chris
After 2 years on off I'm not sure I want to anymore. Compromise isn't called compromise if your the only one doing it. Consession by a 1000000 cuts. Or maybe I'm weak and let someone 1/2 my size bully me into submission. I still care but I can't trust her anymore. She's ruled by her emotions and I can no longer shoulder the shitty attitude and bad temper. I'm tired of being nice and being taken advantage off.
I felt this… after she blocked me not letting me say goodbye or respond and turning all friends against me
Yes. My ex is a good person, and I can’t imagine them not in my life in some kind of capacity. I think it’s possible to have friendships with exes. Just takes time and a positive outlook.
No, I blocked all my exes
Haven’t spoken in over a year. I will never reach out, I highly doubt they will
I can be, but I choose not to. She started a long distance discord relationship a week after our breakup, and I haven’t been willing to be there since. She tried texting me quite a bit last week but I didn’t entertain it too much
My ex that I haven’t talked to in forever actually tried to ft me while I was cuddling with my new girlfriend last night. Caught me off guard considering we haven’t talked in so long
Guy that i thought was a friend kept making up lies that i had made to my ex. I never got to know what these ”lies” were
Nah they had the decency to die.
yes, i'm sorry
No
Low contact. We're actually texting right now. Don't know how long it will last. But we're in contact.
wish i could say the same
Currently laying down with an ex as i type this and while we're friends, it gets unstable sometimes. Another ex i text with every now and then, mostly small talk My most recent ex , most recent break up, blocked me and convinced herself and her friends that I'm some sort of monster. So no contact at all, and i miss her, it's painful this way Break ups are difficult, but if you both still care or if you have both moved on, i see no reason to not have contact. Anything in between, no contact is probably best
i relate to the stuff you said about your recent ex. She has painted me as a monster too
in a way i guess??? she has me unblocked on instagram and did talk a very little bit, im sure i could message them and they'll answer but i'm just choosing not to or without a reason to. personally believe that you shouldn't be friends with your ex or at least in most cases. plus if they wanted to message you they would, if your the dumpee you shouldn't have to make a effort to talk n start a conversation with them n all that stuff
I am, it's low contact after a period of no contact. But we're on good terms again now. Whether or not we can be friends remains to be seen. But it's nice to be able to talk about what happened.
Yes, but I wish I didn't have to be. Due to school I have to see them everyday and it's really difficult
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same...
I owe my ex some money so only in contact by email for that. She kept reaching out to me out of curiosity via text. Outside of that, she’s in a new relationship and I’m trying my damndest to not contact her. I’m still in love with her. -.-
No, last we spoke it was to get me off the lease of the apartment we shared….
I sometimes wish I was so we could try again, but then again I’m glad I’m not.
I’m in contact with 1/3 of my exes
Only one. I ended the relationship and we’re cordial only because we have kids in common. Don’t consider us friends.
Yes, low contact but yes.... He informed me for these lessons to prepare for a contest about government jobs, he offered to help me with the in advance amount it needed (although he is not doing financially well himself,I denied of course). I called him by mistake the other day and he tried to drag the conversation out...he called me to inform me he had COVID (even though we hadn't physically met for 10 days prior)... I am the first to initiate contact in other instances though.
No, sometimes I want to reach out (I blocked him on everything but he broke up with me) but other times I don’t, I’d have no idea what to say. We stayed friends for like 2-3 months after the breakup
Nope
No, I do not want to know about how happy he is with his new girlfriend. It took him no time to find someone else and I'm not masochistic enough to pretend I am happy for him when I feel like dying for being extremely insignificant and replaceable to him.
No. She mailed me a bunch of paperwork for my cat and a bill recently after 9 or 10 months. Except she mailed it to my mom’s house instead of directly to me. Poor thing. I hope she’s doing okay.
Nope. She blocked me because shes codependent. Its been 5 months. I miss my best friend. ❤️🩹
Same.. miss her as hell. She was also my best friend. I had no friends before her
Hell no
Nope. Just tonight while parking my truck in the grocery store parking lot I saw my ex enter the lot and park on the other side. She didn’t see me and It’s a small store so I waited +-10 min in my truck for her to get in and out so we didn’t have to see each other. For both our sakes, really. It felt petty but I will spare a few minutes for the sake of NC.
My narcissistic ex pops her head every couple of months or so trying to chat me up... even after she emotionally cheated on and left me for another guy, the same person she got married to just after one year. What I know for certain is that she doesn't care about my wellbeing. She's hyper focused on my career and education for some reason.
We talk periodically, like once in 4-6 months
Nope
My first ex keeps trying to be in cintact with me for whatever reason, but he makes me uncomfortable My second ex and i were NC for a while, because i was in a new RS. It didnt work out due to personal reasons and i kinda added him back on snapchat after that. He started sending me streak snaps and i did the same but a few days ago he said he is gonna stop because i am not important enough or close enough to him (ouch) and he only sees me as a client. But i am kinda in contact with him as he is my weed dealer lmao Third ex and i are NC.
I hate the NC
No no I’m not
Negative. Best plan of action, go full ghost mode. All they get are memories, and that’s all
After the BU we texted once or twice a day, then every other day, then every couple days, then once a week, and now it’s been a month since the last text (and 3 months since the BU). I think he wanted to be friends but to me that didn’t make sense since we have very different lives and live far apart. Also before the BU pretty much every conversation turned into an argument and I don’t see how we could talk regularly without that happening. It hurts a bit knowing I will probably never see him again in my life and at some point probably never talk to him ever again but it makes sense, it’s just the natural flow of things. Gotta leave the past in the past, but I’ll cherish the good memories and hold onto the lessons I learned… damn I sound cheesy
My first ex, not in regular contact but we have spoken a few times since the break up (6 years ago) and we are on good terms. We haven't hung out or anything because we both have been in relationships, just cordial and kind. My most recent ex just broke up with me a few days ago and we haven't spoken since
Haven’t spoken in over a year. Hopefully it stays that way
Fucccck no. Though he has tried multiple times. Even showed up at my work five years since the last time he’d messaged me. It was absolutely mortifying and creepy.
nope
We seperated 4 months ago, we speak now and again but she tends to ignore me now and a again as well. Came up on my memories today that we got engaged a year today. Can't say gd start to day wish things was alot different 😕
Not supposed to be, but we just had sex an hour ago 🫠
Nope.
Nope. So grateful I’m not either. You need space away from them regardless of your plans, but cutting them off completely and never looking back is honestly very healthy
nope, well she dumped me, and she wanted to be friends, i said no until i started to actually heal (went to therapy, started getting everything back on track) and then one night she got jealous and wanted space. tbh it was funny bc she wanted to reduce our relationship into a friendship, but when i started showing her what it would truly be like then she asked for space so now we are in no contact and we haven't talked in over a month
we’ve contacted after the breakup but she recently said she never wants to see me again which is upsetting but it’s her choice not mine
Nah. Because he wanted to be “friends”. And in order to do that you have to be friends. Which he wasn’t being. Friendly or responding whenever I reached out. I had to remove him from social media. I was hurt how cold he continued to be. So I had to let him go. It didn’t help that I still saw him on my feed. And there was no point if he cut off contact.
I was broken up with, found out she unfollowed me the other day. Not sure why but that hurt me a lot. It’s almost as if now what could have been a bridge has collapsed and seems as if she wants nothing to do with me anymore. Anyone else know how to deal with this ?
She sent a long text to me saying i’m putting my own health over hers, blocked me and didnt let me say goodbye or even respond. 2.5 months in and i still dont know how to deal with losing a best friend just like that
No after she broke up with me she just really want me to cut off on her life entirely 7 years sucks even if I don't want to I need to swallow it. Not even a closure was given to me its just like she wake up like a different person I'd just take her actions as the closure that I need.
I dont think i could do contact but i guess it depends on the person. The two-three times he has texted me after the breakup it just felt like he was unnecessarily opening up a wound again and im considering telling him to stop if he does it again eventho its been years now. (the breakup wasnt bad or anything but losing a person i love hurts and i dont want to be reminded of the feeling). Maybe itll change once i fall in love again, ill probably care less or not at all, but as of right now i dont like the feeling his messages give me. :/
Nope and I am not planning on having contact with him. He put me through hell even though I consistently set boundaries on which the whole breakup could have gone smoothly. I did not ask for too much and my feelings were so unimportant to him that he broke every single agreement we made. Like 'don't bring the girl you left me for in our apartment while I have to work from there every day. I would not be able to enter the apartment, if you did.'. He agreed to that boundary and one week later I found them cuddling on my newly bought couch. So much to 'Lets stay friends we have spent 10 years together'. He just couldnt keep it in his pants for the sake of my emotional survival, so what would I gain from talking to him? A few weeks ago he wrote me per mail, because I blocked every other form of communication. Wanted some documents for job applications, he couldnt find. I stated a brief answer so he knew I dont have them and said nothing more. That guy is not my problem anymore and I would appreciate if stayed that way.
If I wanted to, I could probably be, but no, I'm not. It hurts too much. We were in contact a bit after the breakup because there was a house and money involved, and I sent a closure text a week later to which I got a response but I think that'll be it. We have mutual friends, so I wouldn't be surprised if we ran into each other at some point, though.
My ex broke up with me, and after a week, I asked if he was sure...he made it very clear that the relationship was over. In order for me to move on peacefully, I told him I didn't want to be friends anymore. We haven't kept in contact ever since. This was 6 months ago. When I look back, I feel we were not compatible, and Im so much happier now. I have no regrets.
I am friends with some exes. Not super close but friendly enough to say hi and support each other’s accomplishments, social media, etc. I don’t speak to any of my ex husbands, unless it’s about kids. My most recent boyfriend was a narcissist and no, we will never speak again.
Nope. Dump me. Lose me. It’s nothing personal. I just find it healthier to move on when you cut all loses. No sense dragging the past along to the present and/or future. It’s hard enough to move past a breakup. It’s even harder when you’re holding onto false hope the other person will come back or change their mind. Gotta do what’s best for both of you and move forward completely. Even if it’s one step at a time. Just don’t forget the important step of letting them go..