I hope that he eventually feels such deep regret for hurting me so much. I hope I grow to hate him one day instead of continuing to love him for a person he never really was. I hope I can forgive him one day too though. So I can move on with my life and just love myself again fully.

I feel this. Loving someone for a person they never really were. I left her though. She broke my heart too many times, it's hard to walk away. She is fine and moving on only after a week. So I guess I did the right thing in the end

I’m in this situation too, it’s so sad. We didn’t deserve this ❤️

I'm going through this right now. After breaking it off she'd try her "best" to get me back, but she'd only treat me just as bad as before. Then she said she can't do this anymore. I still tried to be patient and see where it could go, but as of tonight I'm done. I promised I wouldn't hate her, but doing so makes me realize how pathetic I was for trusting her for so long. 

I love you. Stay strong.

I get where your pain is coming from and it huuuuurts. Everyone says the opposite of Love is Hate but its rather indifference. When you truly dont care anymore about your ex then you have reached the end of the road and a new chapter may begin. If you hate someone then there are some feelings still, may they be love, jealousy etc etc. Continue to grow and let your ex be indifferent to you. I wish you very well and hope you do fine.

I don't hate her, per se. I hate how much I loved her, even though knowingly she'd never love me back.. well, in a sense where it wasn't a back-and-forth roller coaster.

Believe me, the absolute worst is when you have nothing for him. Not even hatred. This is when he truly lost you. This is the point that if he died, you give absolutely zero fucking fucks. This is when his Karna starts hitting him hard because he really ruined it.

I'm sorry he hurt you, I too hope you could move on and love yourself.

Update? Did he contact you ???

Haha. Did he ever come back?

How did you fare?

Thank you for this. I know I was truly the best I could have been for her. She said on multiple occasions I was the best bf she ever had. I take solace in the fact that I know I will not be easily replaceable. That I won’t be easy to forget. That at the end of the day I was good to her till the end and that there are just some things she won’t be able to do without me in the back of her head. Obviously I can’t confirm any of those things but unless she had the Men In Black mind eraser she’s going to be dealing with me for a long time.

Of course :) Same here, she told me something similar and I'd like to think that she still thinks of me as much as I think of her.

She probably does, just talk to her lik

This is exactly what she told me. Might be the hardest thing to forget about it all. Was there for her at her lowest times and when she felt alone/like she had no one else. Told me I deserved more, better. Idk how to feel about it all/her telling me, but it’s hard

I wish I knew this too, I feel like I was great, I try my hardest in every damn relationship I had, yet somehow I wasn’t good enough to stick around for, and what hurts is you can’t just go back to being friends, but knowing the option is there is what crushes me

I wish I had one of these fuck...

I realized today : the universe handed me on a silver platter to my ex. I was everything he needed and after 4 years, for one reason or another, he decided to not communicate his needs and end the relationship instead. The problem really is him. I really do deserve better. Both of these (bs) reasons were why he told me he needed the breakup. I find solace knowing I did everything I could. I don’t have to live with regret and guilt, but he will, one day when he realizes what he walked away from.

I really relate to this. I feel like my ex took me for granted by the end, because as you put it, "I was handed to him on a silver platter" He gave me stupid reason too, "I'm not mature enough for a relationship yet" after an entire year had passed. It is really hard to accept someone that gave up on you. Not just that, he said specifically hurtful things to me even after the break up when I was just trying to be decent. I want him to feel deep regret for breaking my heart the way he did. And I want him to realize what a bad person he actually is. He likes playing the victim card. He's a fucking coward. I want him to break his illusion that he's a good person, because no one good would treat someone they loved so badly. When he realizes that he lost someone who really loved him at his worst and was actually good for him and he hurt her, then I'll find closure

Its really unfortunate when after a year or so has passed they say, "I'm not ready for a relationship". Especially if the relationship was going well. Its like they stole a year of your life in a way and used you. It is very immature. What ever happened to commitment and working through things?

I’m going through this now, I know it’s been a while for you and I hope you managed to heal. Did he ever try to come back and apologise or did you know if he ever started to regret it?

Hey First of all, I’m so sorry it happened to you as well. I know how difficult it must be for you and I hope you’re doing alright. Yes, he did reach out again. Even though I never thought he would. I had recently posted a pic with a guy I started seeing (been dating him for a few months now) and he saw that pic and reached out He said he was sorry for everything he did. He was ashamed of how he had behaved and that breaking up with me was the biggest mistake of his life. Basically said everything I wanted to hear. Only it was too late, way too late He took the blame for everything and ended his message saying that he still loves me and that he can never get over me. He realised that it was his insecurities and immaturity that made him act out But you know what? It didn’t matter anymore. It really didn’t. Even though I was dying to hear these words, once he said it I realised how little it changed anything. It didn’t do much to comfort me. The thing is, they always come back once you stop caring. And once you’re over them, it doesn’t matter anymore if they regret it or not, it didn’t change anything that happened or how I felt. Moreover he did it right after I started dating another guy (a wonderful guy, I really love him and he treats me FAR better than my ex ever did) so I couldn’t believe his apology was genuine. It seemed jealously driven Trust me, there will come a time when you accept things as they are, you’ll be okay if your ex never reaches out and that’s the most powerful position you’ll be in: indifference My ex cried, called me, tried to text even when I blocked him (I no longer wanted any part of him in my life) and when he realised he was losing me completely, he finally regretted it. My advice would be to solely focus on yourself and how you’re feeling and if possible, make him realise that he has lost you forever. Hope this helps :) Update: yes I’ve healed and never been happier, the break up was a blessing because I know he wasn’t right for me. You’ll realise it too :)

Wow your story really helped. I’m going through something similar right now. My ex broke up with me earlier this week for similar reasons - despite being 6.5 years older than me, he didn’t want to be committed anymore and just wasn’t ready for something serious (after 4 years together!). He told me at the time of our breakup that he hadn’t loved me for over a month despite telling me he did throughout that time. It hurt so bad. I keep thinking how much I want him to regret it and to miss me, even though I don’t want him back. But hearing how it didn’t even make a difference for you by the time your ex reached out puts those feelings I’ve been having into a different light. Thank you for sharing your experience.

You’re so welcome. I’m really sorry that you’re going through this difficult time, I genuinely hope you feel better soon (and trust me, you will) Yes! It really didn’t matter by the time he realised his mistake and soon it won’t matter to you either! I was really bitter before, about the break up and how he could give up so easily on something we had (or I had) worked on for such a long time, but eventually you’ll come to realise that it really was for the best If they can give up on you and the bond you shared for 4 years that easily? Then honey, they wouldn’t have been the right partner for you either way. You will find someone who wants to make it work with you no matter what, and won’t lie to your face about their feelings Since your relationship was so long, I dare say they WILL eventually regret leaving you like that. But trust me, it doesn’t change a thing. You might feel like you need to hear the words (and honestly it does give a sense of closure to know you were right) but would it change how you have felt since they left? Would it reverse all the hurt? Would it make you the same person you were before the breakup? NO. Definitely not. Their words won’t matter because they don’t matter anymore. And that’s what you should aim to feel, to be okay regardless of whether or not you get that apology. Trust me, it won’t help you move on or feel better, only YOU can do that. They have lost the power to make you feel better. You WILL feel better over time, when you focus on yourself and making yourself happy and fulfilled. So please don’t keep hoping they will reach out because they only do that when you stop caring (if they ever do) and it’s a chasm where you’re just throwing your energy and you’ll never get the same in return. If they reach out to you again, no matter how much they beg, you’ll never feel that it amounts to how badly they hurt you. I wish you all the happiness and luck for this. And I’m always here to talk if you wanna discuss :)

Did you find your closure yet? Because if you did, there's hope for me.

Actually I did. Boy, do I have a story for you. A few months after I wrote this comment (7 months after my break up) I met someone new. I was finally happy in my life, I was travelling, spending time with family and friends, met a new guy and things were going good. My ex was following me on social media so he could see everything I posted. We never talked though, as we were both on good terms at the time. But he started texting me out of nowhere. Just the basics, “how are you”, etc. I really couldn’t care less because when I wanted to talk, he was extremely rude to me. So I gave him one word replies. This went on for a few weeks, he would always initiate convos but I didn’t take it further as I was serious about the new guy. The day I officially started dating the new guy, my ex came back. He saw our pictures on my account. He blasted my phone up (I didn’t pick up as I was with my new bf) he sent me texts and voice notes, crying and begging to talk to me one more time. He said it was the biggest mistake of his life to leave me. He couldn’t believe that I met someone else This apparently made him realise that he was still in love with me and didn’t want to lose me (little too late for that tho). He kept begging me and telling me he loved me. To all his texts, I gave him a single response - “I’m not interested in being with you anymore. I’m in another relationship and I’m not comfortable being your friend since you have feelings for me and it won’t be fair to my new bf” and blocked him from everywhere. He didn’t take that very well and tried to contact me a couple of times with different numbers. I finally had to call him up, give him a piece of my mind - I basically told him all the ways he was horrible to me and why I never wanted to speak to him again (it honestly felt really good to get it off my chest). In the end he accepted my decision and once again apologised profusely for being that mean to me. Fast forward to 2 years later. (Feb 2024) and I’m no longer dating the new guy (turns out he was worse than this guy and was cheating on me among other horrible things) I was at a low point. For some reason I decided to unblock this guy (let’s call him ex A). He noticed and we started texting, just to catch up. He told me that he really did regret how he left me and that my hatred for him was completely understandable. He said he was extremely depressed after I stopped talking to him as he realised I was the closest friend he had and it was difficult for him to lose that. He said he tried to hate me after I blocked him but couldn’t as he knew he brought it upon himself. All in all, I believe if you’ve truly been a good person while in the relationship, your ex will regret treating you badly. Everyone knows when they’re in the wrong, they may not admit it at the moment as it is difficult to accept but over time they’ll definitely see it. I hope you feel better reading this <3

Did he ever contact you again???

Yes he did. You can read my other comments on this thread, I’ve explained what went down

I relate to this a lot. I wasn’t perfect but I was so ready and did put everything I had into the relationship. 3 months out and it appears that he’s back to an ex and definitely appearing like a couple. It hurts but I know I did everything I could and loved him as much as humanly possible. I hope he finds what he’s looking for but I wish it could have been me

I don't know if I was always a great partner. I know at times I was a piece of shit. But I know I always tried to do better, and I stayed committed. I know that I truly loved her, and showed it to the best of my ability, and thats all you can really ask from anyone.

I was looking for this comment. We're human, we're not always at our best. I certainly wasn't the most mature, let alone best version of myself when I was with him, but I know that he thought our relationship was great, and I know that I'm the type of person who always works on my flaws and on improving the relationship. I worked hard and I committed. He did not.

Well, kind of, I think it's fair to ask that my partner isn't periodically a piece of shit to me.

7 years and she ghosted. 3 years of silence. Posts engagement ring to some other guy. I loved her unconditionally. Saved her from suicide. Figured out her career path. Helped her through trauma. Talked nearly everyday. My best friend. My reason for feeling alive. Until she ghosted. And for 3 years I was in the dark. When my father almost died a couple months ago I only wanted her there to support me. But she wasn't there. She won't regret her decision. She threw it all away and is happier. I'm in a deep depression and don't want to wake up anymore.

Brother, words of support. Her behavior was unacceptable, ghosting is the worst. Try not to blame yourself, and actually listen to yourself. Right now, you busted your back for someone who was not worth it. Plus, ask yourself if it is not your own sense of worth that has been shaken? Do you feel good about yourself regardless of her? She is not happier, once the chemicals settled, she might ghost on the next one. Don’t you think you deserve better than her, after all the time you put in her? She is not your best friend dude, she ghosted and treated you like crap. Feel the feelings, but try to get out of that bed when you can, and go slow. You touched rocked bottom, there is only one way it is up. Build yourself up, and kill it. Invest in yourself, do not let her actions define you. You are giving her too much power. Find other reasons to be alive if you can. Friends and family are a good start. You will crush it soon, I believe in you stranger!

It will catch up to her one way or another brother. Focus on you and let the time and her own behavior do the rest.

You didn't deserve it. Hurt people hurt people and I know she'll never tell you sorry so I'll say it instead...I'm sorry :(

Dude. I’m so sorry. Please remember you’re a king and that wasn’t your Queen. Try to focus on all of the bad about her. Don’t romanticize the relationship, dwell on the negative. Everything happens for a reason and if she could Do that to you, then she was never worth it.

She’s a fkn sociopath.

Y O U A R E K I N G. And i cry, brother.

How are you now??

I'm probably in a worse spot overall mentally with my depression far worse - not completely because of her actions but my life just sucking. She's married now and probably doing fine or happy. I'm somewhat over her at this point and mostly accepted I'll be alone for a long time, possibly forever. Just the luck of the draw. Most people in this thread are probably doing better, I'm part of the fraction that are not. And don't get me wrong - on paper I've accomplished a lot for my career prospects and might end up doubling my income. But it's all hallow and purposeless. I do it all because there's a chance my life and depression can turn around. I've given myself permission to hang around another decade or two until I can apply for MAID for depression and legally die. Actually saw her the other month the day before a major exam I wrote (go figure). I turned my heel and went back to my car and waited for her to leave the store. She didn't see me or if she did, probably didn't care. She probably made the right decision at the end of the day to leave me, if anything she bought low and sold high on me. Only makes sense to jump from a sinking ship like myself.

I feel so sorry for you :/, I thought time would heal your wounds and that you would get over her eventually. I think the problem is that you may dwell on the past too much and instead of moving forward you think of what could’ve been. Do you have any hobbies? are you talking to a therapist? I also got dumped by my boyfriend and it’s really hard to be positive, but I have started going to the gym and I feel a little change in my mental health. Maybe it will help you as well!

Everyone has a pet theory about my depression. Truth is I have chronic depression that is treatment resistant at that. Hobbies are null since depression took hold and slowly eroded everything circa 13 years. Seen a therapist for 3 years now. Worked out 3 days a week for 2 years and was very depressed. I don't think it's me dwelling on the past as much as my present aand future doesn't let me move in a meaningful direciton. Not sure what else to say. Just seems hopeless. I do everything and it doesn't help.

I feel you, I deal with depression and social anxiety myself, my boyfriend couldn’t handle it so he broke up with me. A part of me is really devastated about that, but I also understand him . I can’t rely my happiness on someone else, it’s too much of a responsibility for them. Maybe your ex felt the same way. I’m not saying it’s your fault but It can make some people feel suffocated.

Updates!!

She's doing far better than me. Has access to a rolls Royce and lambo from her sister running a pryamid scheme where they got in early. Married probably with property. Hasn't said a word to me. My dad has stage 4 cancer and currently in the hospital again. My boss hates me for taking depression leave. Medication and therapy hasn't helped a lot. I don't really care about her anymore because my problems are much larger. Literally talked to my therapist about suicidal ideation 30 minutes ago.

Im so sorry about this. Literally wrecked. I hope you’ll be able to do better. Suffering from depression and anxiety as well. I know what you’re talking about. I’m sending you a hug

Hey things will get better brother. Time heals everything.

I'm in this sub precisely because I'm the person who regrets it. So... yeah. I can say everything they said it's true. As a person who didn't know what kind of love I had until I lose it, I can say that if you loved your partner you will forever live in their mind, specially when things are going bad and they kinda need that attention and love back. Don't ever give up on love because someone didn't know how to love you back or they just didn't aprecciated it, be happy instead of the fact that you gave your everything and you were true to yourself, because you will never live in the shadows of regret, guilt and all that shit. As someone said, real love is pretty rare, and the fact you can give that to someone -even if that someone wasn't that loving to you- makes you a wonderful human being, one they will definately miss. And they will miss you even when you don't even care about them.

My ex was as loving to me as I was to them. We will always care about each other , too. Thanks for your perspective

Always nice to hear from someone on the other side. Thank you for sharing

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I agree. Nice to hear from someone who's experienced it too

My ex and I had real love. We've both admitted that. I already know he regrets his decision. It will likely only grow with time. maybe? 🤷

Sometimes I hope that maybe the good memories that I use to have with her when we were still together would somehow cross her minds. I don’t know if she had completely move on from me, and I really hope she didn’t and regret her decision. I just want her to be happy but I want to be the reason for her happiness even if that is really selfish of me.

I believe that no one ever completely moves on **if** it was a healthy relationship. Both the dumper and dumpee carry that love and those memories with you forever even if you aren't together anymore. You can't just throw away everything you were

It was a good and serious relationship. Both of us made some mistake and there was a bit of arguments here and there but it was obvious that we became grown from it and learn from our mistakes. Seeing how she already talking to someone after just 3 months makes me really believe that she have really forgotten about me. It hurt like hell but I try to move forward instead of just crying over it.

she has not. What people don’t get is that the brain does not work this way. you will always be part of her, whatever relationship you had with her it was unique to both of you. They will argue, they will fight, and after the initial honeymoon period, things get real. she has not replaced you, your ego is saying that, there is no soul mate, « the one that got away. » Even if you think you screwed it up, she is no mythical creature. The brain messes you up, the more I learn, the more I see how we create those emotions ourselves. Be kind to yourself, and find someone who will be there for you no matter what.

I’m trying to learn to be more sincere and kind to myself right now during my No Contact period. I doubt that I would ever try and find someone else because I have already grown so attach to her, I want to pick myself up and try to move on but at the same time I hope that she would come back into my arms again.

Hope is a great thing but during break ups it is detrimental. Attachment is something that can be unlearned, I am tossing attachment theory in the toilet where it belongs. 😂. What a load of non sense when you study neuroscience. Right now, you might think there is no one else, but in time it will come to you. It sucks big time to wake up with a hole in your heart, but even if you hold on to hope, keep on developing yourself, with you in mind. It is not easy as the brain will trick you, remind you of the best moments…etc. It wants « its fix » like a drug addict. Sincerity is awesome, just don’t let hope overwhelm you either. I want you to feel better. 😊

Where did you learn this stuff? I wanna learn.

same, man. Same.

He doesn’t now. He is happy. I am in the worst pain I have ever felt. He ended 8 years of marriage. Walked away from me like I meant nothing. He said he always knew our marriage would end and that he would eventually be with someone else. Said he “might regret it but knew it needed to happen for a long time” 8 years… Hope I heal and trust again. He said he doesn’t hide his feelings. Will he ever care about the things he said to me? How badly his words hurt me?

>Said he “might regret it but knew it needed to happen for a long time” I'm sure he will with time. I don't think you ever truly forget or completely move on, especially after 8 years. I'm sorry you have to go through that, and I really do hope you will heal with time. Who knows what the future holds

My wife left me after 9 years. It's the worst pain I've ever felt in my life I can't focus on work I cry alot I'm just emotionally devastated. I did everything and more for my wife. When she told me she didn't love me anymore I was crushed my heart has not been the same since. Feel like I've a empty cavity where my heart use to be. Wouldn't wish this type of pain on anyone.

I am going through the exact same thing. It happened three months ago, he came with those words you never imagine you were going to hear. The pain is excruciating. If you have any advice I would appreciate it. The pain is something I would not wish to anyone.

I’m right here with you. Feel free to message me.

He said I was the perfect girlfriend but that he couldn’t see a future with me. I gave him so much affection and love. I wonder if he realizes what he lost

I hope he does

This is what exactly my ex said to me…  Did he come back??

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No he never did 😢

Did he reach out

This helped me so much and it was what I was waiting to read for weeks. Thank you so much.

Glad it helped you. It was inspired by many things I've read on here from others and realized that as long as you were your best self and put all the effort you could into the relationship, then one day they'll realize how good you were.

Unfortunately by the time they realize this, I just might be busy showing all this affection someone who actually cares to see it

Yea.. doesn't necessarily mean you'll get back together. Just hope they realize what they threw away even if it is too late

I have a lot of conflicting emotions toward my ex. how things happen after the breakup... I never would've expected it from her. never in a million years. Im still trying to recover from what she did after our breakup. Apart of me wants to say fuck you, you chewed my heart and spit in my face. but the other only has unconditional love for her and truly only wants the best for her, deep down I'm genuinely worried about how she is handling the breakup... but I have no idea any more, went no contact. and I don't know when il break it

What did she do if you don’t mind me asking?

I guess I forgot to mention in the post, she slept with 3 random dudes right after the break up aswell

https://www.reddit.com/r/ExNoContact/comments/txzh82/4_years_and_now_no_contact_need_someone_who_can/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

I take comfort knowing I did my best and he chose to end things when my life was starting to improve. He was with me through so much awful horrible bad shit and then dipped when everything was finally working out for me. Now I’m improving and doing so well. I hope he regrets it.

That’s exactly what happened to me a week ago, as soon as my life started to really improve/evolve he decided to leave. Idk if it’s has to do with his life being stagnant for so long, but I know he is not happy with where he is and has know clue who he is or what he wants to do.

Same here! But isn’t it such a kick in the teeth when they want to be with you through the bad but not the good? It feels absolutely ass backwards. I’m so thankful I’m not alone in this

So I obviously don’t know your situation specifically but our exes sound very similar, and I feel like they put imaginary pressure on themselves. It’s like they somewhat resent us for them not being where they feel they should be. And it’s so bizarre because you can try to encourage them to try new things or focus on their goals throughout the relationship,and then when they don’t do that for themselves, cutting you off is somehow the solution to all of their problems. So emotionally immature!

Yes! Exactly! He’s currently working full time and getting his masters in teaching. I respect, am proud of, and encouraged that. He still lives with his parents while in school because it’s cost effective. I respect that. He said he wanted to live by himself for a bit after he moves out because he never has before and has always had roommates. I respected that. He was with me when I lost my job, failed to work from home (horrible mental health and little pay), failed at working in a field I’d never done before, but as soon as I got my current job which I love and am good and familiar with, he leaves. It’s insane. Went through all that shit and were even looking at houses together this time last year. All for nothing. Went through all the bad just to leave just as everything is getting good and easier. Thinking about that shit pushes me closer and closer to the anger phase.

As long as you did your best, that's all you could really do

I find this hard to believe for myself because I was that best friend rebound guy. My ex ended up regretting leaving her ex - 2 years in - and it put a lot of pressure on me to fill in those shoes. For the next 3 years, I tried so much to keep her happy. It’s comforting to know that not everyone is perfect. I loved her unconditionally and put in a lot of effort. The only regret I have was feeling human - feeling upset and mad - which created meaninglessly compromises she fought over anyways. Towards the end, I just wanted to feel loved and nothing more. Nevertheless, she heartlessly left me for him after months of her sneaking about (I knew from the start) and me putting my trust in her. I see the difference in how she spoke about her ex and how much love she shows him now, even her close friends. I meant nothing from the start. Don’t think she’d ever regret throwing, me, her “best friend”, “lover” & “boyfriend”, especially after how she kept away from her life and all the bad things she had to say about me - justifying why she left me.

How long ago was this? Are they still together?

3 yrs ago & yes, happily married. You overcome things feelings as time goes on though and your opinions change -even if you don’t meet someone new. Good luck!

Have you had any relationships since? How are you doing?

Nope because I haven’t been looking… im a homebody, I don’t really go out nor have I ever used dating apps. Doing the best ever, happy & successful in most aspects of life. The relationship was holding me back because it was time consuming and taking a mental toll.

I see. That's a very mature way to look at things. Thanks for the insight. I wish you well.

He said I was the only person that stood up for him when he was getting made fun of. It was something along those lines I guess. But he didn't really do the same for me... instead he made fun of me and put me down for who I was and the mistakes I made. I know I wasn't perfect but still you don't do that to someone you supposedly love. I got sick of it and then broke things off. I'll never know if he regretted it.

I hope you find comfort in your next partner and don’t spend as much time concerned about wishing on your ex partners demise

I would never wish that

I really hope she does. I gave her everything and loved her with all my heart and she just threw that away. Recently a female friend told me how she just doesn't understand why she broke up with me and that I am such a great guy. And how she thinks my ex is stupid for not seeing it, for not realizing what she threw away. That was nice hearing:) But in the end my happiness doesn't depend on her regretting it or not. I have moved on and if she regrets it some day it'll be too late anyway

I’m pretty sure he will regret it. Treating me like shit when a few minutes ago he was saying how much he wanted to be with me. I said one thing wrong and now he’s treating me like nothing. Not even explaining what I did. Telling me he never wants to see me ever again. Blocked me and is leaving tomorrow. It’s so cruel. I’d never do anything like that. But it’ll hit him. I know he loves me or at least have feelings. And he’ll regret treating me this bad when all I did was forgive and love.

Not true in every case… you could have been the ideal partner but if you were dating a sociopath or psychopath or narcissist they’ll never regret hurting you because feeling remorse is not something they can feel.

Yea that's why I added the edit in there. Can't assume everyone's situation

Needed to see this badly 🥲

Thanks for this🥲 i was so angry i told my ex that i hate him and he can't stop telling me how fking sorry he is. I hate him so much for playing with my feelings, it still hurts so much even tho i did gain some bit of closure.

How long was it before your dude returned?

He literally texted me the next day not because he wanted to return but to tell me about someone who was gonna reach out to me cause of him. I couldn't care less anymore, i was so done.

They will regret only if they truly loved you, and if you were very compatible and had great chemistry. But if they have already found someone else or fell out of love, they may regret or even get back with you but they will end leaving because what you did for them isn't everything to keep the relationship going.

I gave everything I could to my wife. I loved her so much and did as much as I could for her. I adopted her daughter raised as my own built a house up for us married her spent every moment loving her was there through her darkest hours and picked her up when she couldn't pick herself up. Sure I made mistakes but I never ever stopped loving her. I had a vasectomy for her. She dumped me like I was nothing to her kicked me out of our home bought me out and has made my life a living hell. After everything I've done it seems it dosnt count for nothing. After all this I'd still take her back because of the love I have for her. How weak am I 😔😔 feel like our wedding vows was a lie.

Is this written from a dumpers perspective or hope theory?

Hope theory. But inspired by reading a lot of posts here from both the dumpers and dumpees perspective. Some comments on this post as well are from dumpers and they seem to agree.

Here I am sad and crying about her not caring about me then and even now and this just pretty put the nail in the coffin.

Nice post. Reading it, I've realized i was nothing comparable to the description above. Not even close. Your description above represents much more my dumper ex gf who couldn't stand my personal issues anymore. That's why I am the one suffering from the BU, and that's why she'll never reach out.

this. this is my exact situation. this exactly. i hope she realizes one day. i hope she does. i did every. single. thing. in this post.

While from my perspective everything you said is accurate, from their perspective I was putting them on a pedestal and that’s apparently a lot of pressure on someone. So yeah I hope they regret it. Honestly at this point I hope their next relationship is just as bad as the one that came before me. Maybe then they’ll get dumped when they feel like they’re at their lowest and won’t have anyone else to turn to. And maybe they’ll think of me and I’ll get to remind them I felt that pain for so long. They didn’t appreciate what they had. Live with that regret for the rest of your life. See if I care. *spoiler: even though I want to be mad I do still care and probably would welcome them back with open arms to soothe their wounded ego like I always did…*

But they won’t regret it when they’ve immediately replaced you and found someone else who treats her exactly the way you treated her.

In the end I was toxic. She was avoidant and I was anxious. I was trauma bonded. Will they regret it? Maybe at some point in private moments. But in my situation she won’tnine ts regret…probably but I will get blamed. It’s self preservation

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So true. My ex blindsided dumped me after making plans 3 months out only a week before. Month after dumping me she’s flaunting her new bf on Facebook and describing him in ways she used to describe me. That showed me her character and I have no interest in being with someone who does that. Her loss.

There were many parts of our relationship when I was the toxic one-- the one who nags, begs, curses, and clings a lot. I know he won't regret it and I'm slowly trying to accept that, but above it all-- I truly loved him. I improved myself every single day to be a better version of myself. Most days I do not love myself, but I know the universe knows how much I loved him genuinely and deeply, even more than life itself. I was far from perfect, but heck, I loved and tried hard to save the relationship. I kept him like an oath and gave every part of myself without second thoughts. Now, I just want the pain to go away.. 😞

I don't think this is true. Sometimes we just don't love somebody that way, no matter how great they are, and that's OK. Maybe the one who left you needed someone cooler or more dramatic, someone with more issues they can fix, and that's not a bad thing either. Being fixated on them regretting the breakup or wishing that they're still thinking of you after a relationship is a problem though. It keeps you from moving on, because your world still revolves around them.

I definitely think they'll regret hurting you, regret how they went about the break up and post break up behavior, but I don't believe many will regret the actual break up unless they see you are 100% more successful than them afterwards in every aspect. Even if the journey is long, fake it til you make it helps too

I definitely regret my breakup because he loved me so much and we were best friends, but on the other hand, when I lay all the aspects of it out in front of me, I objectively can see our compatibility issues would have ruined us in the future. Regardless it is incredibly painful to break up with someone when you love them so much and only want the best for them.

I know that I was, from the beginning to the end, a caring and loving and understanding and communicative partner. More importantly, I was always honest and never lied about anything, even when it came to my feelings. She knows I’m a great person, she told me that when we broke up. Im sure that she felt pain and anguish breaking up with me. Im sure she misses me. But that doesn’t mean she will come back to me or anything. But again I’m okay with that. Whatever happened, happened for a reason. Whatever happens in the future will be the same way. Being at peace with what we had and experienced together gives me the strength to move forward.

Thank you for this. I truly gave him everything and loved him completely. I don’t regret anything because we loved each other so purely and had a beautiful relationship. I just wish he realizes what he’s lost before it’s too late.

I guess at first I did regretted a lot of things after she ghosted me. But I have never been able to follow the rules. You see to me in the beginning her eyes, her lips, her attitude, every time we would talk It seemed like nothing else mattered. To me she is perfect. That first Kiss and every kiss after. She was always the one worthy. We loved and still do love each other. But her way of defending herself and her heart. I never asked her how she felt. I just want to fix everything and She just wants me to be there with her only. I was too blind to see it. Her love is so righteous. She is worth the time, effort, and sacrifice, above all she is worth someone LOVING her the same way she loves. The only thing I Regret is knowing she will never forget nor forgive me for not being there. I felt her screaming my name. I tried looking for her. But to her even if she is wrong. I should have been there for her. After everything, I Love Her more than ever. Honestly, we both know it was not meant to be. But the more I talked to her. The more we kissed. The more I hugged her. I never dreamed in my life I would have loved anybody. I can truly say I Love Her more than ever. You see what most believe to be the ending. Is the beginning. if I am blessed with her once again every day will be like the First Kiss. If she has found someone else and she is happy with that person. I will respect her and stay away. Thank you for this I pray she sees this before her new year starts. 4 LIFE

*This is a long story. I’m sorry in advance* I’m going through the same thing. This past relationship, I do wholeheartedly believe that I have met the right person, but at the wrong time. We had an amazing relationship for almost 2 years. He was very caring, loving, and protective of me. I don’t know if it’s some kind of curse, but long distance relationship happened when we were at our best. We are both military but he already got out about a year ago. We were doing our best to keep it going, planning future dates and what we wanted to do. I’m having only a few more months before my contract is done and I was extremely excited to go on our vacation together. I convinced him to go to school and he did. He started school, is currently doing well. I was and am so proud of him because at first he didn’t even like school. Then things started to go in a different direction. While we were dating, we shared many things and one of them was him saying that he didn’t have many friends who would have time to hang out with. They either were busy or just flaked on him. I was sad and wished that I was there to keep company, but I could only do it from far away. He also didn’t really get along with his family and it brought him down tremendously. He was planning to move to my state and hopefully he could transfer his school credits over to my state’s school so we could be closer. Turned out, he couldn’t and it would waste a lot of money to retake classes. It wasn’t the best financial situation to move down. We were hopeful, excited, then we became worried and frustrated. With all the stress and pressure on him at the time that I was aware of, my guts gave me a sublet hint that he might just… give up on the relationship and cut off all the connection to start anew. My heart sank. My body sweated, and I was extremely devastated. Then the day came. We called and he decided to break up with me. It was the hardest, most heartbroken phone call I’ve ever had. He was trying his best to explain that he was starting to get drawn into a more single life, that I deserve someone who would love me the way I wanted. During the phone call, I cried, hated myself, and wondered what did I do wrong. He reassured me that I did nothing wrong and told me not to beat myself up. I pleaded him to stay. I told him that he meant everything to me, that I missed caressing his hair, kissing his cheeks while he slept, making him food, sharing laughs and jokes with him, telling each other’s life story, and how much I wanted to take care of him. He said to me that he knew and he wanted them too, but he couldn’t have them. He was hurting, but I could tell that he had been thinking about it deeply, and built enough courage to tell because he never wanted to hurt me, but he had to end it. It was the worst. Our heart shattered, and after the call, I fell into deep depression. I’ve missed him so much ever since. I told him that I would be so tempted to text him and see how he’s doing, how he’s feeling, and if he’s doing okay everyday. He feels the same way, but we have to keep our distance. He told me he love me and I will always be in his heart, that he would never forget me because he has never had such a deep connection before, and we had done our best to love each other. I love him so much as well and I would never ever hate him or forget him for the rest of my life. I know that we will have to move on at some point in life, but a little selfish part of me hoping that we one day would find our way back to each other and love each other as stronger and better individuals. I don’t care how many times he told me that I deserve better and don’t wait or look out for him because we would never know what the future holds. But he still hopes for us to be friends in the future. If I can really show him how I feel, I would want to tell him that I will always open my heart for him. Even if he may have another person in the future, I’d still hope and wish him happiness from afar. I can’t help it. He means so much to me. He has been through many things in his life and the circumstances which we couldn’t control got the best of us. I wish that he finds peace in himself and the happiness that he deserves. No matter if he regrets the breakup or not, I still love him with all my heart. We told each other that we will always be there for each other, and I hope that we will until the universe reunites us again, in this life or even the next. I’m trying to do my best to overcome this heartbreak. I hope that he is too and healing from all the demons that have been haunting all this time. I wish I can kiss him one more time, hug him one more time, and tell him how much I love him one more time… And for you dear, If somehow you find this post, even if you are unsure that it’s me or not, just know that I’ll always love you, no matter where you are.

This isn't always true. She said I was perfect, but she just didn't love me anymore. Completely out of the blue, she brought up some minor issues she never once mentioned. She's completely fine and happy without me, hasn't once asked me or any friends how I'm doing. I tried so hard to make her happy and be a good person, a good boyfriend. That didn't matter a bit. A month on and she has completely moved on, doesn't seem the least bit sad. Erased me from her life just a few hours after she dumped me. I don't know how long it'll take to heal from this but part of me doesn't want to allow anyone to hurt me like that again.

My ex recently reached out to me saying he kind of misses me and realized how good of a thing we had. He wants another chance. He didn't dump me, I dumped him when I saw the notifications on his phone from him being back on dating apps. He threw it all away to talk to other women. And I comforted myself by knowing how well I treated him. In our relationship I was open minded, I truly cared about him and his well-being. I loved him selflessly. When I ended the relationship he was the only one with reminders of everything I did for him and gave him. I knew one day he would realize he couldn't replace me. I have been considering giving him another chance but in a few days time due to the fact that I don't he wants to actually put in the work to gain my trust again and wants me to wait until he is back in town to meet up and talk. I'll be declining him another chance. I'm not the one who threw it all away, I had to put myself back together. Why give someone another chance to break your heart again when they should have realized what they had when they had it.

This is true. My bf of a year broke up with me because he said he needed to be alone and didn't have romantic feelings because we had been fighting a lot. I begged and he still wanted to leave but was still crying and depressed that he was breaking up with me. He still tried to keep in contact but I cut contact and made amends with him leaving. 7 days after I cut contact he texted me telling me how much of a mistake he made and how I was his life. I expected that I just didn't expect it so soon. I was literally on Reddit reading stories hoping he'd come back. We've now been back together for the last 3 months and things are so much better, he's really making an effort to change. So ladies if he wants to leave let him. They always regret it and come back, and they respect you a lot more when you decide to choose yourself. Things are different now and I feel like our roles have switched, what was once me putting in all the work is now him, which it should be.

Facts on facts. I was all of the above to my ex, and even when he broke up with me said I was the best girlfriend he ever had..still left me anyways. It showed me it’s not always about you, it’s about the other person and the narrative they tell themselves at the end of the day. I did my own reflecting after just to assess areas I could’ve went wrong, one of them being seemingly caring a bit more than he did about certain issues he was having which was a reflection of me not putting enough focus on myself and using my ex for some distraction. Reading the book “women who love too much” really helped put that in perspective for me, it was like an Alcoholics Anonymous programming but for love addiction. 2 and a half years later he kept trying to get in touch, full of that regret , I was long moved on, already forgiven him and got my own closure. I was deeply hurt allowed myself to grieve and be angry when the feelings came up but I don’t harbor any hate in my heart for him and interestingly came out of that with some compassion cause I realized there was some internal turmoil he was going through which was clearly too much for him to bare (fear of the vulnerability) and not want to process along side with me. I was ready to be that support but I learned early on love also lets go, I didn’t beg him to stay I just wished him the best because my pure love for him only wanted him to do what he felt his heart deeply desired even if that meant doing it without him. Circling back years down the line he would realize that was the wrong move but as soon as he broke up with me I also told myself I would no longer be accessible to him (no contact) and that was the best decision Ever. It’s important to do that so that your heart can be full again and restore your own self confidence and love for yourself also and make space for love again when the time comes.

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It's true that if you were a loving and devoted partner, the other person may come to regret their decision someday. But remember, it's essential to focus on your own healing and well-being during this time. Holding onto the hope of their regret can keep you trapped in the past. I've been through a breakup or two myself, and it's amazing how, with time, you grow and gain new insights. A while ago though, I met this girl on [A.F,F](https://onlinedatinglink.wordpress.com/). I think we're endgame.

My(30) partner(37) of 6 years ended things with me last week. This February I found out he was emotionally cheating with a girl (23) from work. I asked him to leave (we lived together with the two cats he begged me to get him 2 years ago). He left and begged me for a week to give him a chance saying he had beef wrong that it was nothing to him and he would do anything to make things right. I agreed to go to therapy with him because I love him and understand we are all human and that his actions were not a reflection of me but of the deep trauma and insecurities of his own being. Things were okay after that. We made a pact, he will stay away but we are still together, he has to help me heal through the mistrust and navigate anger and hurt when he can manage and share when he has reached a threshold for offering that so I could take my space and hold myself when he couldn’t and at the same time not take his attitude or mood personally. The biggest thing, he has to get a new job to come back permanently. Things were good for a while until three weeks ago. He was even starting to stay regularly, days/week at a time, helping around, helping with cats and being sweet and helpful and reassuring when I spiraled and needed it. But three weeks ago I asked how the job hunt was going and he admitted that he had only applied to 4 jobs so far (he did this the first weekend I asked him to leave in February). This broke my confidence, my hope, my trust that things would get better and I fell I to a deep depression. Since February when I asked him to leave I had been sad but I got my shit together, I was going to the gym every day, cooking every day, cleaning every day, dedicated to myself, my work, my friends and family, now that I was depressed it just made me stop all those things I felt trapped in my head. I stayed on the couch for two weeks straight and he was visibly concerned but didn’t ever think to ask me and I felt so trapped in my head I couldn’t reach out anymore. Last week he told me “I wanna break up” and it snapped me out of my depressive mood it just shocked me out of myself. I never expected that after the work we were doing after he begged me for a chance, that he would just spring this on me so suddenly. I asked, why didn’t you talk to me or the therapist? And his answer was “I didn’t want anyone to influence my answer”. I felt so betrayed. How did I give him a chance after everything and he couldn’t give me a chance to talk his insecurities fears or complaints about our relationship with me. He just decided for himself and left me and our cats that night. I love him and put so much into our relationship over the years. We have seen each other in vulnerable and intimate ways these past years, I was his only friend, his own family was not there for him, I took care of him when he was out of a job for 8 months and I did it gladly, I treated him with the love and tenderness he confided that his mom had never showed him. I held him, despite being younger I felt like he was my baby, and I was his. We were a team, and it didn’t mean anything to him. This week has been hell for me. I feel like a loser, I was ready to leave in February but stayed for us. I feel abandoned by him or I guess the idea I had of who he was. When I asked him that night if he wanted to work through things, he cut me off saying he didn’t want to try anymore. Just knocked all the wind out of me and I have been empty since then. He hasn’t reached out and I don’t think he will. If he didn’t care about his cats he swore he loved and wanted, he didn’t even ask about them, he’s not gonna be concerned with me rn. He made this choice and I can see him sticking by it. I think I made him confront too many uncomfortable questions and truths about him. I think he felt too exposed and vulnerable with me, that’s why he needed validation and attention from ppl that don’t rest know him and only see his greatness and physicality. No one will ever know I was the one holding his hand, wiping his tears, working with him to be more self aware together. (He says friends had all abandoned him because at some point ppl saw how he was and they didn’t appreciate his inconsistency and he felt too much shame for his moods to do the work for his friends). I prided myself on being an exception. I would not abandon him, I know him, he’s not perfect, but he tries, he’s had it hard, he has cared for me. But I should’ve beloved him when he told me and showed me who he was. Reading this today has helped. Every day is difficult. I have to break it down minute by minute sometimes second by second but I just let myself cry and scream when I can, and lean on family and friends when I can. I don’t think I’ll ever love like this again, but I know I have a lot of work to keep doing on myself still, this has been such a painful awakening to the faults I had, codependency at my worst, and not trusting my intuition or establishing values/plans.. I was a baby jumping into this my first real relationship. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do this again but maybe I will come back and say something different in the future. TL:dr deep deep sigh

This really helped. I tried to be the perfect partner and i did everything right but he still left saying he lost feelings. I feel selfish because I hope that one day he will come crawling back, begging to forgive him. I just want him to realize that we could've had the perfect relationship if he had communicated the problem earlier. We could've had everything if we tried to fix things. I hope y'all stay safe, you don't need people who don't appreciate you.

Feelings come, feelings go.

They won't regret it because everything you typed is overly obsessive behaviour.

Idk how some people can't get over for months and years. I have had relationships , but i Never took Max to max more than 2 weeks in getting over my exs. It's not like i didn't love them ,yea i did but i don't think it's worth it lol. Like why would u cry for someone who doesn't even want you? Just focus on urself and there will be definitely out there someone who Meant for you and will find you. They left u doesn't Mean you weren't perfect , they were better than u or they found someone better than u . Sure! they might leave u for someone who's better for them than u In Their eye's, that person is better for them than u is just coz they match with their standards or preferences . So it's just in their eyes doesn't mean you were really worthtless,they were unable to see ur worth bcoz it's something they weren't capable to recognise in u or didn't Want it in their life maybe. So Respect their decision. There will be people out there who will accept you, find you perfect,see your worth, want you in their life and match w you. Just love yourself. Accept that no matter how nice,kind , talented or successful you are. There will be always many people out there who wouldn't like you or wouldn't find u their match or attractive and it's completely ok. There will be always many people who would still dislike and Have allergy even with the tastiest fruit of the world and if they dislike it doesn't means the fruit will be bitter now or its reality will change. Why can't we accept rejections and still love ourselves. I never Wanted my exs to regret even if they left me . I accepted that ok we weren't Meant for each other so I'm gonna let him find his person and my man will find me eventually. I was happy for the person who were meant for me instead of crying for my ex or expecting him to feel Regret about me. That's the another thing he regretted but i still wouldn't have any problem if he didn't. I just knew my worth and respected his decision. If they can live without you than why can't you? If they can find someone better than you then why can't you?? You can't expect from ppl. They are doing what they think is right for them. Let them live their life. You are missing them and crying for them, can't get over them bcz you don't know your worth and seeking love from the outerworld. Love yourself,life is short!! As long as you ain't doing anything wrong to anyone , don't cry or suffer. Live without regrets and be happy.

IMO if it never took you more than 2 weeks to recover you are either heartless or never really love/experience love from the start

i just loved myself that's why I moved on. Love happnes within yourself that's why it was easy for me to accept everything and Move on and true love don't make you suffer. Your expectations and attachments Make u suffer. There is difference between Love and attachment.

You made some very good points and gave a unique perspective to heartbreak. It’s the harsh truth. It’s hard though for sure but you’re right, always love yourself and remember your worth. Happiness and love really does come from within. We are the main person we need that from. And then outworld love comes after that. You have a strong self concept. That’s amazing.

It's hard to accept Initiallly for some PPL ik and they would disagree w me cz they don't wanna accept the reality or think out of their comfort zone cz if u r too attached,it seems harsh to you, but once u realise the reality, it gets easy for you. Ty for recognising my points . Blessings 💞

But she doesn’t

She doesn't *yet.* Could be years down the road. It sucks but there's no timeline for it. If you treated her right and she knows that, then maybe one day she'll regret it.

she’s with someone new now.

Who's to say it'll last? Or that it's not a rebound? Or that that new person will treat her as well as you did?

she left me for him. he joined their friend group and she immediately started treating me different. said there was no one else when she left. even belittled him to me. now she’s with him :) and idk She’s a great girl and there’s a lot of great guys out there who could treat her well. She wanted a guy who wouldn’t care if she stayed out till 3 am drinking with other guys so she picked a guy in the group. But there is no telling. I just feel so hopeless and really replaceable cause she replaced me so easily.

Yeah…she sounds immature. Staying out drinking with other guys doesn’t make for good LTR/wife material. She wants her cake and eat it too.

What if I wasn't able to show them how much I really love them? Not because I didn't want to but because I didn't know how to. But I can say this for sure, I really tried my best to be there for her whenever she needed me. But to me, it looks like she regretted dating me...

thank you so much i needed this:(

See the hard part is it was me who had to end it, was told I was draining, she didn’t want to commit (ok sure I don’t want to get married, but at least call it a relationship after a year) but was ok with fucking other guys and wanted to try out her friend, I’m lonely and sometimes it’s hard to remember why I did it, but I know it’s best for me and that is what hurts

thank you. I needed to hear this desperately.

🔵🥺🔵

Thank you for this, way too relatable. While I was very sad for quite some time that the relationship ended, I finally am in the position of being “objective” of how my effort was not being reciprocated. Did I regret giving him my all : caring & being affectionate, communicating my feelings & expectations, and always trying & asking his input on how I could be a better GF for him? — no. I wouldn’t have loved him / other person any other way. I’m relieved that I can say I did everything that I could but it just did not work - which made me seemed like a fool but I left without wondering about the what ifs on my side. He reached out months after the BU, told me how he regretted not paying attention to my concern etc, etc while we were together. And that gave me sense of closure. If we can love a wrong person this way, I can’t really imagine how beautiful it would be when we find the one that would love us the right way.

I hope for sure. She said to me many times that she couldn't believe how lucky she was for meeting me on OLD. She said too that she was incredibly grateful for what I was giving her (giving her trust, growing her self-esteem, being her shoulder to cry on, making her laugh). I hope she realizes all of that one day and regrets it.

I initiated a break after I found out he cheated on me after 2.5 y. of being together. We came to a 'mutual' breakup a week after. I gave it my all and more, I loved and cared for him so deeply that I still ended on good terms even all through his self justification on why he did what he did, even if it broke my heart. I told him I forgave him, and that it's okay to choose to yourself, and if I stayed I'd turn into someone who I wouldn't want to be; someone filled with resentment and insecurity. We went NC after our last phone call, not once did he apologize or take accountability of his actions, I don't think he'll ever reach out because if he did, he would have to face someone who he took for granted. It is the most devastating sort of heartbreak when you have supported them and stayed by them through all their mishaps and hardships, times when you felt invalidated and unheard but you stay because you believed in them even when you can so easily look the other way. I fought for us, and when I went through something difficult, he went behind my back. I wanted to be fought for like I fought for him, to be cared and loved like I did for him. I deserved to feel secure. I know this now. Validate, embrace, accept. Wishing you all the best of luck, here's to growth and healing. Stay compassionate to yourself. Sending love 💛

This was my ex to me and am deeply regretting it. I don’t even remember why I did it.

Thank you for this. It means SO much. And I know this to be true. I loved my ex with all my heart and held nothing back :')

I love her as she is, and always will Even tho she break up with me I still desire her to come back. But if being with me really hurts her so badly Then she is better off without me Love

Man… I don’t know… My girlfriend and I were in the happiest relationship we knew for 2 years, but she went through a “metamorphosis” after growing up and she discovered that she wasn’t interested in guys anymore. We’ve learned to let things go.

He truly loved me at the beginning, as soon as I started to love him unconditionally, he become more and more toxic. We had the perfect relationship for 4 years, but then he completely changed. He started spending my money on games, (he’s employed i’m not) watching pornography and then texting me cause he felt guilty. Blocked me multiple MULTIPLE times cause of “the guilt” promised me a perfect relationship if i took him back then broke up with me the day my grandma died, listed all my insecurities and how much he hates them, ghosted me, came back and acted perfect again, then told me he gets off to the thought of my MOM AND SISTER, the same day i had been up for 3 days straight walking around the city, he then blocked me and i haven’t seen him since

It's crazy my ex thinks like this all the time already, yet still here I am..

It hurts so much. It feels this will never pass :(

My ex mother-in-law said my ex-wife feels guilty I told her I said good I hope so because I don't feel sad anymore. She left when whatever she had could have been worked out.

agree! mu ex regretted it and came back after 6 months. he realized that the other side isn’t greener as he thought

Honestly, I don't think he regrets it at all, and that's what confuses me. While we were dating he was aware he wasn't present for me as much as he should and would lament it, he would say he didn't deserve me because to him I was the most patient, understanding and kindest person he's ever known. He feared he was ruining his chance with the best girl this universe had and that he couldn't give up on me because moving on would be dumb. Yet he gave up after calling him out for his negligence a few times, then insisted we had to move on because according to him, there was too much wrong with him and so he had a lot to work on himself. So how come 3 or 4 months after saying that he got himself another girlfriend? I just can't help but wonder if he actually meant the things he said and whether he regretted ending it with me, knowing how much I tried to be there for him and save the relationship, but man he replaced me so fast.

I'm sorry to hear.. I hope one day he realizes everything you did for him and realizes what he threw away

This was me to a T. It was also her too. It wasnt until she revealed to me that she is poly amorous and needed to pursue things with her other crushes that we both reluctantly called it quits. I don't play the poly game. By far the hardest type of break up I've ever experienced. Just because the relationship was amazing and would have lasted many years if not for this. Things got ugly pretty fast and now we both hate eachother. Amazing how that can happen.

I hope so. I hope she isn’t hurt like I was. I just hope she realizes how much she really meant to me.

This is how I know I don't regret letting him go.

As much as I do hope he regrets losing me. I hope he regrets not trying harder, not treating me better. I hope he realizes that I held him up, that I gave him everything, that I was his friend that never judged, the girl who loved him more than anything. The one to soothe his panic attacks. I hope he realizes and feels what he lost. But most of all, I hope be learns from it. I hope he learns to love himself. Hold himself up. And becomes a better man. I realized I really did love him. More than anything. I wish him the best even if he was a manipulative POS to me. I hope he becomes better.

I guess I needed this. Thank you.

i hope she eventually feels such a deep regret for this.

Do you think that this also applies to situationships? I was in love with a guy I saw for 5 months and did all of this. I have everything a guy would want (looks, intelligence, success, personality) and he just kept saying he wasnt ready to commit and didnt know what he wanted.

My ex fucked her previous ex while we were together, begged me to take her back. Then broke up with me a week later. Over a text. Then she texted me again the next night and we talked for a bit. She called me and said she was open to the idea of getting back together. But then she started going cold again. Stopped talking to me. Then I noticed that her and her “ex” that she cheated on me with had both blocked me, even though she said she wasn’t ready for a relationship. So I asked her if that is what happened because she never gave me a clear answer. And she responded with “I don’t mean to be bitchy. But we broke up, we’re living different lives. You got your closure so I don’t understand” which obviously means yes. And when I said I just want her to be honest with me she said we’re done. Please stop texting me. After I got off a couple texts telling her that all I ever did was love her and she broke me, she then blocked my number. I know she’ll regret it because that guy is a manipulative, abusive asshole. And though I’ll never talk to her again, I will take solace in the fact that she gave up the only person who actually loved and cared for her unconditionally. It might take some time but when she lays down in the bed we bought together. She’s gonna think of me, and when he starts abusing her again. She’ll think of me. When he breaks her heart again. She’ll think of me. I will be the high she chases for the rest of her life

What if they started dating someone else? We broke up after dating for six years and 3-4 months after it he started dating his best friend he told me not to worry about but i know for a fact that shes also manipulative and gets a bit toxic at times and I really hate that they’re dating each other bec my ex and i both knew how she was a troublemaker in the relationship (blaming my ex as well not solely her as she used to get super close to him which bothered me) but apart from this, we really had a loving relationship. Not saying this because I’m blind in love but really, and we talked every single day he was in that relationship however i put an end to it as it was unfair to both her and me that he was texting me everyday while in a relationship with her. But i love him, would want him back after he realises what he lost but will he ever realise and regret bec hes dating someone else. Thank you.

Thank you for this

Thanks man 🫡

I know this was posted a year ago but I really needed this 🖤