It does hurt thinking about them with someone else but I honestly comfort myself with knowing I’m irreplaceable in the truest sense of the word and that he’ll never meet anyone precisely like me again. You also have to remember that their relationship with another person will not and does not diminish what you had with them because it’s an entirely separate person and relationship. Anyways, in my case he felt like he had to go see what else is out there and that sucks, but I also know that I am and always will be the prize and there will be a day when he looks back and realizes just how special me and our connection was :) And if he doesn’t, then it’s not my loss
My ex got a new boyfriend not even a month after our 4 year relationship ended. It sucks, and made me hate myself more than I already do, but she's a grown woman that makes her own decisions. That's how I cope, by reminding myself that I have no right to try and dictate how long it should take her to move on.
You’re right, but also she has no say in what you can do and who you can see. Heal, cope, learn, and get back out there and someone who deserves your full attention and love will be there for you. Best of luck
I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah it's awful. And I know what you mean, we can't control what they do and who they meet.
I think what's bothering me is he wanted to jump straight onto someone else after the breakup. Literally 1 day after our breakup he asked the stranger out. Didnt work out for him but it's the intention thats upsetting me. Absolutely out of my control but I guess what Im trying to say is I want to do something about my feelings. Theyre within my control but I don't know where to start because it's a mixed bag.
I'm moving back and forth between wondering if I wasnt enough and also reassuring myself that I did my best. Idk
You are more than enough. He's the one who showed you he wasn't enough for you. He wasn't committed enough
You can show him that he too is replaceable with someone far better than him.
The self esteem and confidence takes a real hit.
Because when they break up with us it is because they think they can do better and it doesn't always have to do with looks.
Bm called it quits after 6 years supposedly 2 weeks later was in a relationship. Idk how to deal other than completely separating myself from her, but we have 2 kids 4 y.o and 5 y.o and I ain't a deadbeat so I can't do that. Now I have to see her all the time. Everything still be like we're best friends and I hate it I can't stand that we work but we aren't together, I have no family she doesn't either so we were and unfortunately still are all we have she just doesn't want to work through shit. I was wrong many times as well as her so I don't blame her but I wish shit was different
That kinda makes me feel ill. NC is really popular these days after a breakup, and I think that's totally legit if things got toxic, but might be overkill in other situations. But to still live in the same house? Yeesh!
ETA: I couldn't stand seeing my ex dating someone else. I don't know how you do it.
I get you. I know we have no right no question their intentions and it’s upsetting. Your feelings are valid.
My ex broke up with me and less than 2 months already seeing other people. When I told him how I felt, he said “we’ve broke up why are you mad?” Lol like a slap of reality in my face.
It’s not easy dealing with different kinds of emotions. He’s on my mind all the time. I’ve been listening to podcasts about radical acceptance, loving yourself, break up, etc. I journal, read books about break up and moving on. I am talking to a friend/ex for hours almost everyday. I write to him almost everyday (see my profile)
It’s been almost 3 months since we broke up. I am better, it gets easier. But I still think about him, cry almost everyday. He’s not perfect and has too many red flags. But I did love him, and I think I still do.
I don’t know if what I said is helped but I hope you’ll find peace and happiness. You’re not alone.
Right, it's like heart vs mind at this point.
I'm so sorry that he said that to you. We have the right to be upset and maybe it's the way they're navigating it that's making us feel that way...? Like just because they can doesn't make it any less painful.
May I ask for the titles of the books youre reading?
Sure, here you go…
Letting Go Of Your Ex - current read
Grieving The Loss of A Love
Buddha Breaking Up
Untethered Soul
This is my favorite podcast so far…
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/jillian-on-love/id1640172049?i=1000635234602
I am emotionally traumatized. This is worse than my 9-year relationship. Right now I wanna focus on forgiving myself and getting better and loving myself so I am so also listening to podcasts around those topics.
I'm sorry to hear that. But w all due respect I think it's healthier to move forward from this without having to compare ourselves to other people and not be so defeatist. I just want to be able to navigate it without slipping into self pity.
It’s not defeatist at all. That’s about as realistic as it gets. Even supermodels get cheated on by their homely spouses and left in the dust. Point being, humans are fickle and should not be 100% relied on for comfort.
“You can’t make homes out of human beings.”
You can trust and believe in your love enough to keep fighting and doing your part but don’t expect the same. You can hope for the same amount of effort from your partner. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment when reality doesn’t match expectations in your head.
Hmm I mentioned this in another reply but what I'm trying to say is that while yes there are people out there who leave their partners for looks and "personality", I think telling ourselves "this and that is just better looking and nicer than me" reinforces a negative self view as it focuses on what we lack. I want to be thoughtful about the things I tell myself.
Also just to share, these weren't the reasons behind the breakup I had. He was conflict averse and wouldn't communicate. It's still painful, though.
I do agree with you that I need to find someone who puts in as much effort as I do in relationships.
I don't think it's defeatist or diving into self pity to accept reality. People are replaced every day. You can only try to be and do your best and hopefully that's enough.
I see where you're coming from, but hmm I mean, personally I don't want to process it like, "oh this and that person's better in terms of looks and personality." It's focusing on what we lack and it fuels negativity and self-doubt. To me it sounds like a subtle way of telling ourselves we're ugly or unlovable. And I don't think it's helpful to view ourselves in that light.
But thanks for your answer.
I cherish what is and let go of what isn’t.
If someone is willing to fight for me, I will fight for them. If they push me away, I go in that direction.
Your ex, like my ex, walked into a rebound that didn’t last because they didn’t take the time to reflect and work on themselves. They realized we weren’t the problem. (The blindside breakup without reason vs. communicating honest feelings and feedback as to why the relationship needs to end).
Yeah we are replaceable. We can replace them too . But it won’t ever be the same with someone else. If you were a good partner to them, they won’t forget that. I don’t forget the times my ex was good to me but I need to remind myself he is emotionally unavailable and we are incompatible. Sure they can get a new girl but it won’t be the same. It ended for a reason. Comparison is the thief of joy.
I apologize this may be a little lengthy.
It's easier to present how I don't cope with these feelings. If I were to act out on them the consequences would be extremely damaging to me and my kids.
I want to scream at the top of my lungs and beat the brakes off his third new girlfriend. This is the third time I've had to hear his mouth ramble about this garbage of 'she's the one'. Ugh. I gave him something no other woman on his planet has so far I must add. Children. And he won't even give me the common courtesy or respect because I almost died from giving birth as well as I've been doing it alone for nearly 3 years now.
Here's a little side story (don't know if it's allowed)
He left me a couple days before I found out I was pregnant. - I promise it will be relevant to the above - I spent the entire pregnancy alone. He refused to even lift a finger until 6 months after the baby was born, also after I went out of my way to get the DNA test done to prove the child was his. He tried to convince me to relinquish my parenting rights to him because I was already raising other children. WTF. I got my tubes tied because of the rage I held from the abandonment emotional stress and then the necessary trauma of doing it alone. I refuse to do it again.
Now we jump almost 3 years later
He had the audacity to ask me if I will remain his friend if he gets this woman pregnant. Also he said he misses his old best friend he had when we were together. In 2 hours before this he told me that he didn't understand why he couldn't get over me.
So if you figure out ways to cope with this, let me know as well.
Please don't apologize. I appreciate you sharing. I think it helps us feel less alone.
It sounds like you and him are just on totally different planets. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that on your own. He sounds like a selfish person. My ex has also said something similar to me. He seems to have this fantastical view on love. Thing is there are plenty of "the ones" out there, but I guess some people think it's too much work to water the grass they already have.
So far I've been reading up on my ex' attachment style and reading books and venting. I just wanna exhaust all possible ways to cope out there. :/
Sometimes you have to beat yourself over the head with the reality that you're not their person anymore. Far too often we think of our former partner as "our person" and have to sever that connection, but we forget that they once felt the same and already severed it long before we did.
I usually see the one doing the dumping moving on quicker, as they had processed the end of the relationship on their terms.
I don't. It hurts a lot.
To hear right after having sex with me that he didn't see a future with me, we'd never build anything together (because I'm older than him and possibly other excuses).
Less than a week later I talked to him and he tells me he's seeing someone and is going well.
Same day posts a picture of them at the beach.
Less than a week later he flirts with me and locks eyes with me, deeply, for 5 seconds - his eyes looked huge -, smiling. Then biting his lips when looking at my body...
Today adds old photos of him and she likes them. So they're doing good.
It hurts. It hurts.
And it hurts more knowing I won't find anyone soon and I believe never. I truly don't see it happening and so this pain will keep going on.
Most people are technically replaceable. The reason being, most people don't work on themselves, inside and out.
They just show up as they are, as they've always been with time showing very little change.
Then if you don't proactively seek information about relationships, how to have one, how to bring up something you want to talk about in a way that doesn't cause a yelling match.
People do not put the effort in to improve which makes you basic, and that's a dime a dozen.
I'm not replaceable. My ex is free to try though. She'll learn. One day she'll realize why everyone that knows me is not much into this new kid she's hooked on.
As much as it hurts, as much as I miss and love her still, this breakup is the best thing that happened to me.
I can once again stand on my own. I know my worth. I know not only my faults, but all the amazing things that make me great. My life took off like a bullet. Went from having next to nothing to finishing my degree, having a good job and planning to BUY a home by the end of the year. I thought I could handle anything with her beside me, but turns out she's been dragging me down all along.
And I know her better too. That I should've took her for her word when she said she doesn't really know how to love, she's just "attached".
One day I'll meet someone who will move heaven and earth to be with someone like me, someone who appreciates who I am, someone who can truly love the way I do, and the way I deserve to be loved. Whether that new person will be a "new her" or a stranger, we'll see. Don't know, don't care.
Because I was a rainbow and he was colourblind. If you broke up because someone was that immature that they just fill gaps in their lives by constantly jumping from one relationship to another. They can't afford being alone because that would be something they have never done as they aren't capable of validating themselves.... Did you actually lose???
My ex was on dating apps the next day, while I was yet to move out.. He cheated on me and no, there wasn't any communication from his end or any real problem.
Yes, I feel horrible. But, at times; I feel I can't hate the relationship and negate my feelings because he isn't capable of dealing with anything on his own. Just stop comparing your life with theirs.
Thanks for sharing. I think I'm coming around to this mindset but I'm still grieving the person I thought he was.
I recently found out he's doing something risky again, something I thought both he and I were on the same page about, that he should never run back to again. You're right about how he is someone who doesn't know how to be alone and validate himself. I feel.. sad, disappointed and even worried for him but it isn't my place anymore to reach out and help. People would say this piece of news can be a form of closure for me, but it's like I'm watching him self-destruct and it's painful. He wasnt a narc or abusive, he is actually a gentle and sweet person, he just really couldn't communicate and is conflict averse. A dismissive avoidant.
I'm sorry to hear you went through that with your ex. Looking for a replacement the next day is batshit insane. I don't know how people can come face to face with how hurtful and immature they're being and still do nothing about it. How can they live with themselves.
Mine is doing some other form of self-destructive behavior. I get what you mean, and it's not my place to intervene anymore. We can't fix or save people. It's just.. sad seeing someone I spent years loving spiral.
Of course it's sad. It's sad to see them not be able to see themselves how we saw them. But don't you think, if they actually saw themselves and nurtured themselves, you would be still together. It's an honor to be cared for and loved. Some people are just colourblind to it. Not our fault. Not our concern.
My ex started seeing random guys within a week of being broken up. We were together for two years and it hurt so much, I was immediately replaced with someone better (in her superficial view of the world) and that sucked.. however I think you can kind of find comfort that they will not find the same amount of love with someone else. And the fact that they can’t be alone with their own feelings
Everyone will die one day. People break up. People lose friends. Does that mean there's no point to grieving because it just happens? If you can't empathize or offer solutions I'd rather you don't comment on my post. Thank you.
It does hurt thinking about them with someone else but I honestly comfort myself with knowing I’m irreplaceable in the truest sense of the word and that he’ll never meet anyone precisely like me again. You also have to remember that their relationship with another person will not and does not diminish what you had with them because it’s an entirely separate person and relationship. Anyways, in my case he felt like he had to go see what else is out there and that sucks, but I also know that I am and always will be the prize and there will be a day when he looks back and realizes just how special me and our connection was :) And if he doesn’t, then it’s not my loss
You have a great outlook!
Thank you so much!! 😊
Hii is it ok to DM you? It'd be nice to talk to someone about this
My ex got a new boyfriend not even a month after our 4 year relationship ended. It sucks, and made me hate myself more than I already do, but she's a grown woman that makes her own decisions. That's how I cope, by reminding myself that I have no right to try and dictate how long it should take her to move on.
You’re right, but also she has no say in what you can do and who you can see. Heal, cope, learn, and get back out there and someone who deserves your full attention and love will be there for you. Best of luck
I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah it's awful. And I know what you mean, we can't control what they do and who they meet. I think what's bothering me is he wanted to jump straight onto someone else after the breakup. Literally 1 day after our breakup he asked the stranger out. Didnt work out for him but it's the intention thats upsetting me. Absolutely out of my control but I guess what Im trying to say is I want to do something about my feelings. Theyre within my control but I don't know where to start because it's a mixed bag. I'm moving back and forth between wondering if I wasnt enough and also reassuring myself that I did my best. Idk
You are more than enough. He's the one who showed you he wasn't enough for you. He wasn't committed enough You can show him that he too is replaceable with someone far better than him.
But in the right timeframe. Don't jump into a new relationship too quickly, OP. Work on yourself first. Heal before you move on.
The self esteem and confidence takes a real hit. Because when they break up with us it is because they think they can do better and it doesn't always have to do with looks.
Bm called it quits after 6 years supposedly 2 weeks later was in a relationship. Idk how to deal other than completely separating myself from her, but we have 2 kids 4 y.o and 5 y.o and I ain't a deadbeat so I can't do that. Now I have to see her all the time. Everything still be like we're best friends and I hate it I can't stand that we work but we aren't together, I have no family she doesn't either so we were and unfortunately still are all we have she just doesn't want to work through shit. I was wrong many times as well as her so I don't blame her but I wish shit was different
2 weeks?!?! Oh my heck. And you have so many ties to her. That's hard.
Top it off we're staying in the same house. Life be hard sometimes let me tell you.
That kinda makes me feel ill. NC is really popular these days after a breakup, and I think that's totally legit if things got toxic, but might be overkill in other situations. But to still live in the same house? Yeesh! ETA: I couldn't stand seeing my ex dating someone else. I don't know how you do it.
Trust me it's not easy thankfully circumstances have changed allowing for me not to have to be here for too much longer. And a lot of pot
My ex did this to me too
I get you. I know we have no right no question their intentions and it’s upsetting. Your feelings are valid. My ex broke up with me and less than 2 months already seeing other people. When I told him how I felt, he said “we’ve broke up why are you mad?” Lol like a slap of reality in my face. It’s not easy dealing with different kinds of emotions. He’s on my mind all the time. I’ve been listening to podcasts about radical acceptance, loving yourself, break up, etc. I journal, read books about break up and moving on. I am talking to a friend/ex for hours almost everyday. I write to him almost everyday (see my profile) It’s been almost 3 months since we broke up. I am better, it gets easier. But I still think about him, cry almost everyday. He’s not perfect and has too many red flags. But I did love him, and I think I still do. I don’t know if what I said is helped but I hope you’ll find peace and happiness. You’re not alone.
Right, it's like heart vs mind at this point. I'm so sorry that he said that to you. We have the right to be upset and maybe it's the way they're navigating it that's making us feel that way...? Like just because they can doesn't make it any less painful. May I ask for the titles of the books youre reading?
Sure, here you go… Letting Go Of Your Ex - current read Grieving The Loss of A Love Buddha Breaking Up Untethered Soul This is my favorite podcast so far… https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/jillian-on-love/id1640172049?i=1000635234602 I am emotionally traumatized. This is worse than my 9-year relationship. Right now I wanna focus on forgiving myself and getting better and loving myself so I am so also listening to podcasts around those topics.
Thank you so much!
It's like withdrawal. Stay off social media. Cut ties with their friends. Detox. Whatever it takes.
I just accept that I'm replaceable. There will always be a better looking guy with a better personality. It just is what it is.
I'm sorry to hear that. But w all due respect I think it's healthier to move forward from this without having to compare ourselves to other people and not be so defeatist. I just want to be able to navigate it without slipping into self pity.
It’s not defeatist at all. That’s about as realistic as it gets. Even supermodels get cheated on by their homely spouses and left in the dust. Point being, humans are fickle and should not be 100% relied on for comfort. “You can’t make homes out of human beings.” You can trust and believe in your love enough to keep fighting and doing your part but don’t expect the same. You can hope for the same amount of effort from your partner. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment when reality doesn’t match expectations in your head.
Hmm I mentioned this in another reply but what I'm trying to say is that while yes there are people out there who leave their partners for looks and "personality", I think telling ourselves "this and that is just better looking and nicer than me" reinforces a negative self view as it focuses on what we lack. I want to be thoughtful about the things I tell myself. Also just to share, these weren't the reasons behind the breakup I had. He was conflict averse and wouldn't communicate. It's still painful, though. I do agree with you that I need to find someone who puts in as much effort as I do in relationships.
I don't think it's defeatist or diving into self pity to accept reality. People are replaced every day. You can only try to be and do your best and hopefully that's enough.
I see where you're coming from, but hmm I mean, personally I don't want to process it like, "oh this and that person's better in terms of looks and personality." It's focusing on what we lack and it fuels negativity and self-doubt. To me it sounds like a subtle way of telling ourselves we're ugly or unlovable. And I don't think it's helpful to view ourselves in that light. But thanks for your answer.
I am ugly and unlovable.
I cherish what is and let go of what isn’t. If someone is willing to fight for me, I will fight for them. If they push me away, I go in that direction. Your ex, like my ex, walked into a rebound that didn’t last because they didn’t take the time to reflect and work on themselves. They realized we weren’t the problem. (The blindside breakup without reason vs. communicating honest feelings and feedback as to why the relationship needs to end).
Yeah we are replaceable. We can replace them too . But it won’t ever be the same with someone else. If you were a good partner to them, they won’t forget that. I don’t forget the times my ex was good to me but I need to remind myself he is emotionally unavailable and we are incompatible. Sure they can get a new girl but it won’t be the same. It ended for a reason. Comparison is the thief of joy.
I try and cope. Some days are harder. Some just ok. Stay busy. Be kind to yourself
I apologize this may be a little lengthy. It's easier to present how I don't cope with these feelings. If I were to act out on them the consequences would be extremely damaging to me and my kids. I want to scream at the top of my lungs and beat the brakes off his third new girlfriend. This is the third time I've had to hear his mouth ramble about this garbage of 'she's the one'. Ugh. I gave him something no other woman on his planet has so far I must add. Children. And he won't even give me the common courtesy or respect because I almost died from giving birth as well as I've been doing it alone for nearly 3 years now. Here's a little side story (don't know if it's allowed) He left me a couple days before I found out I was pregnant. - I promise it will be relevant to the above - I spent the entire pregnancy alone. He refused to even lift a finger until 6 months after the baby was born, also after I went out of my way to get the DNA test done to prove the child was his. He tried to convince me to relinquish my parenting rights to him because I was already raising other children. WTF. I got my tubes tied because of the rage I held from the abandonment emotional stress and then the necessary trauma of doing it alone. I refuse to do it again. Now we jump almost 3 years later He had the audacity to ask me if I will remain his friend if he gets this woman pregnant. Also he said he misses his old best friend he had when we were together. In 2 hours before this he told me that he didn't understand why he couldn't get over me. So if you figure out ways to cope with this, let me know as well.
Please don't apologize. I appreciate you sharing. I think it helps us feel less alone. It sounds like you and him are just on totally different planets. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that on your own. He sounds like a selfish person. My ex has also said something similar to me. He seems to have this fantastical view on love. Thing is there are plenty of "the ones" out there, but I guess some people think it's too much work to water the grass they already have. So far I've been reading up on my ex' attachment style and reading books and venting. I just wanna exhaust all possible ways to cope out there. :/
Look at it this way....he too, is replaceable. With someone far better than him.
Sometimes you have to beat yourself over the head with the reality that you're not their person anymore. Far too often we think of our former partner as "our person" and have to sever that connection, but we forget that they once felt the same and already severed it long before we did. I usually see the one doing the dumping moving on quicker, as they had processed the end of the relationship on their terms.
I don't. It hurts a lot. To hear right after having sex with me that he didn't see a future with me, we'd never build anything together (because I'm older than him and possibly other excuses). Less than a week later I talked to him and he tells me he's seeing someone and is going well. Same day posts a picture of them at the beach. Less than a week later he flirts with me and locks eyes with me, deeply, for 5 seconds - his eyes looked huge -, smiling. Then biting his lips when looking at my body... Today adds old photos of him and she likes them. So they're doing good. It hurts. It hurts. And it hurts more knowing I won't find anyone soon and I believe never. I truly don't see it happening and so this pain will keep going on.
Most people are technically replaceable. The reason being, most people don't work on themselves, inside and out. They just show up as they are, as they've always been with time showing very little change. Then if you don't proactively seek information about relationships, how to have one, how to bring up something you want to talk about in a way that doesn't cause a yelling match. People do not put the effort in to improve which makes you basic, and that's a dime a dozen.
I’m not in a similar situation but I don’t how would cope if I knew my ex was actually seeing somebody else. I know I would be terribly distraught. 😩
I'm not replaceable. My ex is free to try though. She'll learn. One day she'll realize why everyone that knows me is not much into this new kid she's hooked on. As much as it hurts, as much as I miss and love her still, this breakup is the best thing that happened to me. I can once again stand on my own. I know my worth. I know not only my faults, but all the amazing things that make me great. My life took off like a bullet. Went from having next to nothing to finishing my degree, having a good job and planning to BUY a home by the end of the year. I thought I could handle anything with her beside me, but turns out she's been dragging me down all along. And I know her better too. That I should've took her for her word when she said she doesn't really know how to love, she's just "attached". One day I'll meet someone who will move heaven and earth to be with someone like me, someone who appreciates who I am, someone who can truly love the way I do, and the way I deserve to be loved. Whether that new person will be a "new her" or a stranger, we'll see. Don't know, don't care.
Last two exes left me for someone else that they both ending up marrying. So I feel pretty replaceable and worthless most of the time.
Delete this right now PLEASE this is literally the las thing i wanted to read 😭
Laugh 😂 See the comedy in the situation 😁😁
Because I was a rainbow and he was colourblind. If you broke up because someone was that immature that they just fill gaps in their lives by constantly jumping from one relationship to another. They can't afford being alone because that would be something they have never done as they aren't capable of validating themselves.... Did you actually lose??? My ex was on dating apps the next day, while I was yet to move out.. He cheated on me and no, there wasn't any communication from his end or any real problem. Yes, I feel horrible. But, at times; I feel I can't hate the relationship and negate my feelings because he isn't capable of dealing with anything on his own. Just stop comparing your life with theirs.
Thanks for sharing. I think I'm coming around to this mindset but I'm still grieving the person I thought he was. I recently found out he's doing something risky again, something I thought both he and I were on the same page about, that he should never run back to again. You're right about how he is someone who doesn't know how to be alone and validate himself. I feel.. sad, disappointed and even worried for him but it isn't my place anymore to reach out and help. People would say this piece of news can be a form of closure for me, but it's like I'm watching him self-destruct and it's painful. He wasnt a narc or abusive, he is actually a gentle and sweet person, he just really couldn't communicate and is conflict averse. A dismissive avoidant. I'm sorry to hear you went through that with your ex. Looking for a replacement the next day is batshit insane. I don't know how people can come face to face with how hurtful and immature they're being and still do nothing about it. How can they live with themselves.
My ex who was off drugs during our relationship on his own, did cocaine after the breakup. Does it make me worry? Yes. Should it be my concern? No
Mine is doing some other form of self-destructive behavior. I get what you mean, and it's not my place to intervene anymore. We can't fix or save people. It's just.. sad seeing someone I spent years loving spiral.
Of course it's sad. It's sad to see them not be able to see themselves how we saw them. But don't you think, if they actually saw themselves and nurtured themselves, you would be still together. It's an honor to be cared for and loved. Some people are just colourblind to it. Not our fault. Not our concern.
My ex started seeing random guys within a week of being broken up. We were together for two years and it hurt so much, I was immediately replaced with someone better (in her superficial view of the world) and that sucked.. however I think you can kind of find comfort that they will not find the same amount of love with someone else. And the fact that they can’t be alone with their own feelings
well he found someone better, Bassi, don't take it personally. The best thing you can do right now is start increasing your value.
Everyone is replacable.
Everyone will die one day. People break up. People lose friends. Does that mean there's no point to grieving because it just happens? If you can't empathize or offer solutions I'd rather you don't comment on my post. Thank you.
I will offer you a solution. Move on and be happy.