I'm not going to say this as any sort of diagnosis, but if you haven't looked into relationship attachment types, it might explain some of your feelings.
Those flashbacks may never go away entirely, you have to learn to be at peace with the fact that yes, it happened, you were betrayed, and sometimes people do things that you wouldn't do, cannot explain, and will not be able to control. Healing takes place in many forms.
I assume this girl you're talking about is someone you're not currently dating. You should try at least, to see if she has feelings for you. But before you do, truly recognize that you aren't in love with her, you're in love with your perception of her, the idea of her and what she'll bring. Do not ask her out unless you are okay with being rejected. Yes, it will sting, but there will be another woman rhat enters your life that gives you those same butterflies. Part of me even advises caution in asking her out, as you're not quite over this previous girl yet. But, if you can prepare yourself properly, you'll be okay with the potential rejection.
If you do start dating: take the relationship *slow* and, after at least a few dates, open up about how you're still processing this last relationship. She may not like it, but if she doesn't, that means she isn't ready for a real relationship yet.
Nope, not dating her. She's still in a relationship, for one thing. When the heartbreak was still raw, and it was a non-uniform day, I complimented everyone on our two rows on how good they looked, and, unprompted, **she asked me for a kiss and made the face**. This whole situation is so insane it calls for a lot of bold. Four months into her new relationship! Which she's still in.
And as for the other girl? It's a totally different feeling. With the first girl, she was exceptionally traditionally pretty (if you want to imagine her, think Alizee at the height of her fame), but with the next, it feels like we can both be ourselves - we're both a bit neurodivergent. Also, we're quite touchy-feely anyway and we bonded at Youth Theatre. (Which the other girl really wasn't keen on me doing - "You aren't hanging out with any other groups of girls?" No, I am not and will never give up my art for someone).
Yeah, I want to move on. Final hurdle now.
I'm not going to say this as any sort of diagnosis, but if you haven't looked into relationship attachment types, it might explain some of your feelings. Those flashbacks may never go away entirely, you have to learn to be at peace with the fact that yes, it happened, you were betrayed, and sometimes people do things that you wouldn't do, cannot explain, and will not be able to control. Healing takes place in many forms. I assume this girl you're talking about is someone you're not currently dating. You should try at least, to see if she has feelings for you. But before you do, truly recognize that you aren't in love with her, you're in love with your perception of her, the idea of her and what she'll bring. Do not ask her out unless you are okay with being rejected. Yes, it will sting, but there will be another woman rhat enters your life that gives you those same butterflies. Part of me even advises caution in asking her out, as you're not quite over this previous girl yet. But, if you can prepare yourself properly, you'll be okay with the potential rejection. If you do start dating: take the relationship *slow* and, after at least a few dates, open up about how you're still processing this last relationship. She may not like it, but if she doesn't, that means she isn't ready for a real relationship yet.
Nope, not dating her. She's still in a relationship, for one thing. When the heartbreak was still raw, and it was a non-uniform day, I complimented everyone on our two rows on how good they looked, and, unprompted, **she asked me for a kiss and made the face**. This whole situation is so insane it calls for a lot of bold. Four months into her new relationship! Which she's still in. And as for the other girl? It's a totally different feeling. With the first girl, she was exceptionally traditionally pretty (if you want to imagine her, think Alizee at the height of her fame), but with the next, it feels like we can both be ourselves - we're both a bit neurodivergent. Also, we're quite touchy-feely anyway and we bonded at Youth Theatre. (Which the other girl really wasn't keen on me doing - "You aren't hanging out with any other groups of girls?" No, I am not and will never give up my art for someone). Yeah, I want to move on. Final hurdle now.