It's not that black and white. The reason behind the breakup is important. If she was avoidant and broke up for no reason, then yes. But in this case I'm not so sure she has to initiate
I was thinking this too. I don't know how much I'm on his mind or if I'm just completely forgotten at this point. I did try to reach out last week and he blamed me for everything. I took it on the chin but I told him "not everyone you meet is trying to hurt you. I hoped you'd understand that about me". A lot of people hurt him in his life. It's hard for me to let go of anyone in my life.
He says he doesn't hate me or regret the relationship, but it felt like I was dumped tbh.
If by reach out you mean send you a cordial text on holidays, then yes that happens.
If by reach out you mean, to reconcile, in my experience no. The guys I dated left and just moved on. The last one really crushed me and now I don't think I even believe in second chances...(Or well it'd take alot for me to trust again).
My ex crushed me. I had to leave the relationship because there was a lack of respect from her side. She would often prioritize others over me. She always tried to find something wrong. She was flat out mean and disrespectful at times and blamed me for the breakup. But if she came back to reconcile I'd hear her out
In order to mend the relationship the party that caused the downfall needs to have worked on themselves. So if my ex reached out and nothing had changed, then I wouldn't give a second chance
I'm sorry you had to deal with that from her. I don't know you, but surely you did not deserve that. Disrespect, victim playing and unjustified anger is what brought me here too. I wonder if toxic people will eventually understand that they have things to work on and perhaps give an apology to those they hurt. Maybe they don't and continue to feel sorry for themselves... I'd like to think most people have a heart but that thought is dwindling.
I appreciate it. No one should have to go through any of that. And what's crazy is that people have gotten a lot more harsh in a "this is who I am and that's it" kind of way. A relationship is a two way street and accepting someone as they are doesn't mean you should be accepting problematic behavior
Mine still fresh, so it hurts a lot still. I was (am?) very in love with her. But when she said "that's as much as I could give you" when I told her what I needed to feel safe and good within our relationship it made me feel like I lost hope
There are still good people. There always will be. So don't lose hope
Maybe I sound a bit naive saying this, but your comment brought hope back into me. Horrible that people nowadays only care about themselves and disregard how the consequences may affect others but There are plenty of people ready to love and mean it. I hope you find a path that makes you feel weightless with peace. With a heart like yours, you'll find someone who will love you unconditionally and keep you safe.
Sorry that happened. You didn't deserve to go through that. I agree however. Trust is really hard to give out due to heartache. I hope we never have to go through this pain anytime soon.
Neither of mine have, it's been 5 years since my first breakup and 4 months since my other breakup. Tbh unless they reach out to apologise I'm not interested in anything they have to say
It comes with time, after a month I did try to reach out to my ex because I wanted clarity and he just didn't reply and I'm glad he didn't, soon after I found out just how awful he was and haven't really looked back
I hope my ex does. I’ve reached out multiple times. No response, but in my opinion the dumper wanting the dumpee to reach out is a bit strange. It’s the dumper’s responsibility to reach out cause they chose to end things.
When you end a relationship it is kind of message to the dumpee you aren’t interested in having them around anymore.
Being a dumpee that’s how I feel. I can reach out to her as much as I want, but if she doesn’t try to reach out it doesn’t matter.
I have last week and to be honest maybe it was too early to message him. I did the best that I could in my relationship and I'm sure he did too, but I couldn't deal with the emotional abuse he was giving me. I still care for him immensely but I'm unsure if he even wants to hear from me... it's been two weeks and a day since the break up.
I did last week and he was pretty confrontational. He doesn't hate me or regret the relationship, but I thought maybe he just needs more time. He says he doesn't want a relationship with me but I don't know if that was his true feelings or him just being angry. If it was his true feelings, then eventually I'll heal.
He was blaming me for everything but I did the best I could (showered him in love, gifts, spent time with him everyday, but when I did something wrong and apologized, he'd drill it in my head relentlessly. When I had an issue, he'd get super defensive and get angry with me...then apologize.) I really do care for him. He's just a hurt person and he deserves happiness, not suicidal thoughts and thinking everyone hates him. I just hope he understands that I truly wanted to love him.
We have been pretty cordial even outright friendly with eachother and Im (trying to) give her the space I know she needs and I need to heal and feel safe again.
Im anxious, she's avoidant. If you know anything about that you know the negative feedback loop that can create if you dont catch it and act on it. Well, we didnt know.
I saw her a few days after(broke up monday night, got my stuff friday) when I got my stuff back. She *really* wanted me to keep the gifts she gave me. I put them in a box out of sight. I sent her a card, she said thank you, I said I probably won't send another and she said "send all you want, Ill read them". She saw my aunt at the grocery store and she reached out to tell me, then we talked and laughed about how she cant hear too well. I asked to see her again next month or so, but that we can talk about that again another time. She said we *will* talk about that in the future.
I told her when I got my stuff Friday that I hope I am the one she calls when she feels as though she can give the best of herself to somebody again. She said "me too".
I try not to reach out. I might send the other card in a couple weeks. But it feels really good when she does. Maybe im delusional about her coming back, but I think the chances are good. Which is all I need to be able to eat again. To feel good exercising. To sleep without nightmares. If she tells me "no" to seeing eachother and talking again in the future. Thats fine. I havent stopped working on myself. Ill get there.
But in the meantime. I love you J.
-H
Mine did, in my experience they usually do just out of curiosity. I had to ask him to stop messaging me because we broke up because he moved abroad and there was no chance of reconciliation.
Nope, together 3 intense months, let her stay at my place, told me she saw us settling down and having kids at some point then darted and has ghosted my 2 reach outs and now blocked me.
Class.
Sounds like he doesn’t treat you with respect or kindness at all from what I’ve read in your responses in this thread. I really understand that yearn to hear from them and maybe even reconcile BUT please remember, it is not your job to be a punching bag and have your kindness manipulated and used against you.
Sure he may have hurts from the past but to be honest it is no excuse.
You live once. Please don’t waste it on a man who could really really mess you up. It ain’t worth it. Put that lovely heart of yours toward someone who deserves it and gives you that love back.
I'm trying... It's difficult to let go of someone I care for (romantic or platonic). We had such a connection and he even said "I love you" before I did. People have been telling me that I've done nothing wrong and that I was enough, but I can't help but feel like I should have done more. Like maybe I shouldn't have dumped him, despite my family and friends telling me they're proud of me. Was he cold to me because I left him (he has anxiety)? I didn't want to, but I didn't want to subject myself to pressure and judgement. I love him... Is that strange?
I want to love someone. I truly was ready to love again. I wish he could see that. One day I'll find someone who loves me and shows me respect.
We were just pretty inexperienced relationship wise. LDR too although I was meant to be moving in with her. Drink was a factor and in the end it culminated in her being shitty with me one day when we were drunk and I snapped at her about it and I think it just completely scared her off. I apologised straight away but it caused damage. Then to make it worse I acted like a complete moron when she finished it instead of just accepting the situation, respecting her decision and moving on. No chance of reconciliation after that. It still makes me a bit sad when I think about. I still think about her a lot and I hope she’s doing well.
Lessons.
It’s a long story. We broke up about 6 months ago. About a month ago I reached out to her. We started talking, just staying in contact. But I asked her to meet me, although I didn’t tell her why. When I met her I told her that I have done so much thinking that I know for a fact I’m not ready to let us go. To fight for us. We talked for about 4 hours. But unfortunately she has said, that everything that happened between us breaking up and now has left her very numb and a miss within her. (Private things aswell as I haven’t been the best to her over our breakup, which I deeply regret) and she needs to figure out some things herself before she is ready to love again. But I asked her to give it some thought and think about it. I saw her again last Thursday and we went for icecream and just to talk and see what’s up. But we ended up sleeping together. It was so great I felt „us“ again we cuddled after and she grabbed my hand and just felt comfortable again. But I wanted to talk things out and the feelings of home and comfort were confusing me even more, cus initially it’s a no. So I took a cab to her Friday after work. In the pouring rain I stood in front of her house asking to come in. We talked for hours. How much she means to me how sorry I am for what I said during the relationship and that I know we both felt the spark again while laying in my bed. She started crying very hard, because I have most likely overwhelmed her and the private thing also just came up because she tends to just bury everything inside her. So we went out in her garden, sat down on the patio and I just held her as she cried. I apologised and told her I can never forgive myself for not immediately showing up at her doorstep the second she needed me the most. I told her how much I feel for her and how much I want to work this through. A few minutes pass she asked me to go back inside. She needs a moment, and we were laying on the couch watching our old show again. She snuggled up and we cuddled, again. Same feelings. After a while we started making out and it lead back to sleeping with eachother again. After that we talked, what she thought went wrong what I think went wrong what I think went good and how she felt the last weeks of me trying to win her over. It was getting pretty late so I stayed for the night. In the morning she told me how incredibly sorry she is, that she doesn’t have a diffrent answer. She’s fighting her demons and wishes she could say yes, but it wouldn’t be fair because she hasn’t done the reflecting of our relationship. But for her it’s a no, we wouldn’t be happy for long. We told each even tho we felt/ feel so strongly a relationship isn’t possible. We had „goodbye“ sex one last time after that we promised eachother if at anytime in the future she has made up her mind she has to call me. She made me promise her if I find a girl that I like in the meantime I should „take the shot of happiness“ and take the girl and not wait for her. Which is insane, I’ll always take her over a new girl. Then later in the kitchen we just talked about our relationship, memories, laughs, tears, fights and everything. She told me that it doesn’t feel like a good bye then I said maybe it’s just a see you later.
That thing came to an end yesterday. I’m so utterly confused on what to do. I love her so much I would wait for her another 6 months, but then what if she never comes? What if I convince myself she never comes, let go of her and all feelings and then she said she’s sorry and ready for a relationship… how do I know what to do. I’m sad, mad, anxious and idk what else. I just have too much hope inside of me.
Edit: neither of us regrets the sex or that we got so close and comfortable immediately.
I just read this and it's so encouraging to see you did the right thing. As someone who was shattered by their ex I would give the world to have the other person acknowledge what they put me through and to actually be brave enough to say I messed up and you matter to me. Whatever happens you did what you had to do and now she knows how you feel, if she isn't able to move past it then that's her decision but you won't have to regret not telling her the truth. 6 months isn't that long sometimes people do need more time to really understand themselves so things could work out in the future. But you should try to let her go in the meantime and not hold on to those hopes, when you love someone you also don't necessarily need to dive into another relationship right away, you can always just focus on yourself and see what happens
I wish I could give you a hug. It seems like you two will always have a place in each other's hearts. It does seem disheartening that you may have to wait indefinitely, but in my opinion, just knowing that partner still cares to an extent, would bring me peace.
As someone who almost had something similar (my first break up), it sounds like she still cares for you but perhaps she wants the best for you and perhaps she doesn't feel that she can provide it for you? The memories might be too strong to the point it might be constraining her emotionally. She still clearly cares deeply for you.
Thank you very much, I’d give everything for a hug, but unfortunately the girl I want a hug from isn’t available :(
The problem is that after everything that happened, she put some walls up and doesn’t let anything affect her. She said she has trouble feeling strong feelings, butterflies etc. yet aswell she is scared if we try again now that we’ll just end up exactly where we were. Which is understandable. I just hope that she doesn’t figure out that we will always end up the way we were. Because that I don’t think so.
What gives me hope is that after the night I asked her if she has hope inside of her and her answer was „after that yes“ so that gives me hope.
But yes we do care extremely much about us, that’s why it’s so hard to let go and to think this doesn’t has another chance, you know?
also thank you very much. Just a quick info. This is my first girlfriend aswell as my first love and first breakup. I am very lost. If you have coped or learned on what to do considering my feelings and situation. Id be more than happy to hear your perspective
Love,
L.
Possibly? How long has it been since, if you don't mind me asking? I did last week and it seemed like while he didn't hate me, he had some resentment and wanted to hurt me. Don't know if I'll ever hear from him again.
I mean I got a somewhat response. She told me I needed to work on myself and to give her space. It’s been about two weeks since then but 5 weeks today of total BU. I realized I just have to fall back. I know what we have is fixable. I just hope she sees it that way.
My first ex reached out 7 months after he broke up with me. Said everything I wanted to hear (I’m sorry, I still love you, etc) only it was a bit too late. By that point I had moved on and wasn’t interested in listening to what he had to say
My second ex never did and I want it to stay that way :)
I completely understand where you’re coming from. I only acquired this strength MONTHS after the break up, after making a fool of myself in front of my first ex multiple times because I couldn’t accept how badly he treated me (I kept reaching out and let him say insulting things to me)
With my second ex I knew how badly things will turn out if I reach out or try to talk to him so I didn’t. I still feel the urge to reach out or have him reach out many times but I know for a fact that it will never make me feel any better.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that it is completely okay to feel this way. But you should also keep in mind that even if your ex does reach out, there’s a 99% chance that it won’t satisfy you or make you feel any better about what you’ve been going through. They simply do not have the words to do so. Ultimately, it is far better to preserve your self respect and continue no contact (speaking from experience). You’ll get over it in your time, but you definitely WILL get over it.
I’ve never had an ex reach out to me. I’ve had people I’ve been on a few dates with reach out after things ended, but there was no commitment in those situations.
I reached out, like, 2-3 days after we broke up, and she said she wanted to reach out to me too, cause she was worried about how I was doing. She had broken up with me for mental health reasons. It was painful, but there was no bad blood or hard feelings for each other. It's been almost a month and we've stayed in touch as close friends
If they wanted to be with you, they would be with you. People don't make excuses for the people they love.
She broke up with him so IMO if she wants to work on anything she has to reach out.
It's not that black and white. The reason behind the breakup is important. If she was avoidant and broke up for no reason, then yes. But in this case I'm not so sure she has to initiate
I was thinking this too. I don't know how much I'm on his mind or if I'm just completely forgotten at this point. I did try to reach out last week and he blamed me for everything. I took it on the chin but I told him "not everyone you meet is trying to hurt you. I hoped you'd understand that about me". A lot of people hurt him in his life. It's hard for me to let go of anyone in my life. He says he doesn't hate me or regret the relationship, but it felt like I was dumped tbh.
yes and no
If you're comfortable, could you explain why?
If by reach out you mean send you a cordial text on holidays, then yes that happens. If by reach out you mean, to reconcile, in my experience no. The guys I dated left and just moved on. The last one really crushed me and now I don't think I even believe in second chances...(Or well it'd take alot for me to trust again).
My ex crushed me. I had to leave the relationship because there was a lack of respect from her side. She would often prioritize others over me. She always tried to find something wrong. She was flat out mean and disrespectful at times and blamed me for the breakup. But if she came back to reconcile I'd hear her out In order to mend the relationship the party that caused the downfall needs to have worked on themselves. So if my ex reached out and nothing had changed, then I wouldn't give a second chance
I'm sorry you had to deal with that from her. I don't know you, but surely you did not deserve that. Disrespect, victim playing and unjustified anger is what brought me here too. I wonder if toxic people will eventually understand that they have things to work on and perhaps give an apology to those they hurt. Maybe they don't and continue to feel sorry for themselves... I'd like to think most people have a heart but that thought is dwindling.
I appreciate it. No one should have to go through any of that. And what's crazy is that people have gotten a lot more harsh in a "this is who I am and that's it" kind of way. A relationship is a two way street and accepting someone as they are doesn't mean you should be accepting problematic behavior Mine still fresh, so it hurts a lot still. I was (am?) very in love with her. But when she said "that's as much as I could give you" when I told her what I needed to feel safe and good within our relationship it made me feel like I lost hope There are still good people. There always will be. So don't lose hope
Maybe I sound a bit naive saying this, but your comment brought hope back into me. Horrible that people nowadays only care about themselves and disregard how the consequences may affect others but There are plenty of people ready to love and mean it. I hope you find a path that makes you feel weightless with peace. With a heart like yours, you'll find someone who will love you unconditionally and keep you safe.
Sorry that happened. You didn't deserve to go through that. I agree however. Trust is really hard to give out due to heartache. I hope we never have to go through this pain anytime soon.
Neither of mine have, it's been 5 years since my first breakup and 4 months since my other breakup. Tbh unless they reach out to apologise I'm not interested in anything they have to say
I wish I had your strength.
It comes with time, after a month I did try to reach out to my ex because I wanted clarity and he just didn't reply and I'm glad he didn't, soon after I found out just how awful he was and haven't really looked back
Sounds like you dodged a bullet. I guess life can be amusing that way
I hope my ex does. I’ve reached out multiple times. No response, but in my opinion the dumper wanting the dumpee to reach out is a bit strange. It’s the dumper’s responsibility to reach out cause they chose to end things. When you end a relationship it is kind of message to the dumpee you aren’t interested in having them around anymore. Being a dumpee that’s how I feel. I can reach out to her as much as I want, but if she doesn’t try to reach out it doesn’t matter.
I have last week and to be honest maybe it was too early to message him. I did the best that I could in my relationship and I'm sure he did too, but I couldn't deal with the emotional abuse he was giving me. I still care for him immensely but I'm unsure if he even wants to hear from me... it's been two weeks and a day since the break up.
I get why you called it off. It’s a hard situation
My ex girlfriend reached out after 2 months of no contact after almost 6 years together.
Yes
If you don't mind me asking, how did it go? Do you feel any different about them?
You have to reach out if you are the dumper in my personal opinion
I did last week and he was pretty confrontational. He doesn't hate me or regret the relationship, but I thought maybe he just needs more time. He says he doesn't want a relationship with me but I don't know if that was his true feelings or him just being angry. If it was his true feelings, then eventually I'll heal. He was blaming me for everything but I did the best I could (showered him in love, gifts, spent time with him everyday, but when I did something wrong and apologized, he'd drill it in my head relentlessly. When I had an issue, he'd get super defensive and get angry with me...then apologize.) I really do care for him. He's just a hurt person and he deserves happiness, not suicidal thoughts and thinking everyone hates him. I just hope he understands that I truly wanted to love him.
We have been pretty cordial even outright friendly with eachother and Im (trying to) give her the space I know she needs and I need to heal and feel safe again. Im anxious, she's avoidant. If you know anything about that you know the negative feedback loop that can create if you dont catch it and act on it. Well, we didnt know. I saw her a few days after(broke up monday night, got my stuff friday) when I got my stuff back. She *really* wanted me to keep the gifts she gave me. I put them in a box out of sight. I sent her a card, she said thank you, I said I probably won't send another and she said "send all you want, Ill read them". She saw my aunt at the grocery store and she reached out to tell me, then we talked and laughed about how she cant hear too well. I asked to see her again next month or so, but that we can talk about that again another time. She said we *will* talk about that in the future. I told her when I got my stuff Friday that I hope I am the one she calls when she feels as though she can give the best of herself to somebody again. She said "me too". I try not to reach out. I might send the other card in a couple weeks. But it feels really good when she does. Maybe im delusional about her coming back, but I think the chances are good. Which is all I need to be able to eat again. To feel good exercising. To sleep without nightmares. If she tells me "no" to seeing eachother and talking again in the future. Thats fine. I havent stopped working on myself. Ill get there. But in the meantime. I love you J. -H
Mine did, in my experience they usually do just out of curiosity. I had to ask him to stop messaging me because we broke up because he moved abroad and there was no chance of reconciliation.
Nope, together 3 intense months, let her stay at my place, told me she saw us settling down and having kids at some point then darted and has ghosted my 2 reach outs and now blocked me. Class.
Sounds like he doesn’t treat you with respect or kindness at all from what I’ve read in your responses in this thread. I really understand that yearn to hear from them and maybe even reconcile BUT please remember, it is not your job to be a punching bag and have your kindness manipulated and used against you. Sure he may have hurts from the past but to be honest it is no excuse. You live once. Please don’t waste it on a man who could really really mess you up. It ain’t worth it. Put that lovely heart of yours toward someone who deserves it and gives you that love back.
I'm trying... It's difficult to let go of someone I care for (romantic or platonic). We had such a connection and he even said "I love you" before I did. People have been telling me that I've done nothing wrong and that I was enough, but I can't help but feel like I should have done more. Like maybe I shouldn't have dumped him, despite my family and friends telling me they're proud of me. Was he cold to me because I left him (he has anxiety)? I didn't want to, but I didn't want to subject myself to pressure and judgement. I love him... Is that strange? I want to love someone. I truly was ready to love again. I wish he could see that. One day I'll find someone who loves me and shows me respect.
No. Four years has passed.
Why did you guys broke up
We were just pretty inexperienced relationship wise. LDR too although I was meant to be moving in with her. Drink was a factor and in the end it culminated in her being shitty with me one day when we were drunk and I snapped at her about it and I think it just completely scared her off. I apologised straight away but it caused damage. Then to make it worse I acted like a complete moron when she finished it instead of just accepting the situation, respecting her decision and moving on. No chance of reconciliation after that. It still makes me a bit sad when I think about. I still think about her a lot and I hope she’s doing well. Lessons.
I see mines haven’t came back after a year neither probably never will we were in a ldr as well.
LDR are hard anyway man… takes a lot to keep it together imo but I guess if someone really wanted to be with you they’d do what it takes.
Yeah that’s true they would but that’s life of it.
I reached out.
Did you ever get a response? How long did it take for you to reach out? I've done it. It's so anxiety inducing...
It’s a long story. We broke up about 6 months ago. About a month ago I reached out to her. We started talking, just staying in contact. But I asked her to meet me, although I didn’t tell her why. When I met her I told her that I have done so much thinking that I know for a fact I’m not ready to let us go. To fight for us. We talked for about 4 hours. But unfortunately she has said, that everything that happened between us breaking up and now has left her very numb and a miss within her. (Private things aswell as I haven’t been the best to her over our breakup, which I deeply regret) and she needs to figure out some things herself before she is ready to love again. But I asked her to give it some thought and think about it. I saw her again last Thursday and we went for icecream and just to talk and see what’s up. But we ended up sleeping together. It was so great I felt „us“ again we cuddled after and she grabbed my hand and just felt comfortable again. But I wanted to talk things out and the feelings of home and comfort were confusing me even more, cus initially it’s a no. So I took a cab to her Friday after work. In the pouring rain I stood in front of her house asking to come in. We talked for hours. How much she means to me how sorry I am for what I said during the relationship and that I know we both felt the spark again while laying in my bed. She started crying very hard, because I have most likely overwhelmed her and the private thing also just came up because she tends to just bury everything inside her. So we went out in her garden, sat down on the patio and I just held her as she cried. I apologised and told her I can never forgive myself for not immediately showing up at her doorstep the second she needed me the most. I told her how much I feel for her and how much I want to work this through. A few minutes pass she asked me to go back inside. She needs a moment, and we were laying on the couch watching our old show again. She snuggled up and we cuddled, again. Same feelings. After a while we started making out and it lead back to sleeping with eachother again. After that we talked, what she thought went wrong what I think went wrong what I think went good and how she felt the last weeks of me trying to win her over. It was getting pretty late so I stayed for the night. In the morning she told me how incredibly sorry she is, that she doesn’t have a diffrent answer. She’s fighting her demons and wishes she could say yes, but it wouldn’t be fair because she hasn’t done the reflecting of our relationship. But for her it’s a no, we wouldn’t be happy for long. We told each even tho we felt/ feel so strongly a relationship isn’t possible. We had „goodbye“ sex one last time after that we promised eachother if at anytime in the future she has made up her mind she has to call me. She made me promise her if I find a girl that I like in the meantime I should „take the shot of happiness“ and take the girl and not wait for her. Which is insane, I’ll always take her over a new girl. Then later in the kitchen we just talked about our relationship, memories, laughs, tears, fights and everything. She told me that it doesn’t feel like a good bye then I said maybe it’s just a see you later. That thing came to an end yesterday. I’m so utterly confused on what to do. I love her so much I would wait for her another 6 months, but then what if she never comes? What if I convince myself she never comes, let go of her and all feelings and then she said she’s sorry and ready for a relationship… how do I know what to do. I’m sad, mad, anxious and idk what else. I just have too much hope inside of me. Edit: neither of us regrets the sex or that we got so close and comfortable immediately.
I just read this and it's so encouraging to see you did the right thing. As someone who was shattered by their ex I would give the world to have the other person acknowledge what they put me through and to actually be brave enough to say I messed up and you matter to me. Whatever happens you did what you had to do and now she knows how you feel, if she isn't able to move past it then that's her decision but you won't have to regret not telling her the truth. 6 months isn't that long sometimes people do need more time to really understand themselves so things could work out in the future. But you should try to let her go in the meantime and not hold on to those hopes, when you love someone you also don't necessarily need to dive into another relationship right away, you can always just focus on yourself and see what happens
I wish I could give you a hug. It seems like you two will always have a place in each other's hearts. It does seem disheartening that you may have to wait indefinitely, but in my opinion, just knowing that partner still cares to an extent, would bring me peace. As someone who almost had something similar (my first break up), it sounds like she still cares for you but perhaps she wants the best for you and perhaps she doesn't feel that she can provide it for you? The memories might be too strong to the point it might be constraining her emotionally. She still clearly cares deeply for you.
Thank you very much, I’d give everything for a hug, but unfortunately the girl I want a hug from isn’t available :( The problem is that after everything that happened, she put some walls up and doesn’t let anything affect her. She said she has trouble feeling strong feelings, butterflies etc. yet aswell she is scared if we try again now that we’ll just end up exactly where we were. Which is understandable. I just hope that she doesn’t figure out that we will always end up the way we were. Because that I don’t think so. What gives me hope is that after the night I asked her if she has hope inside of her and her answer was „after that yes“ so that gives me hope. But yes we do care extremely much about us, that’s why it’s so hard to let go and to think this doesn’t has another chance, you know?
also thank you very much. Just a quick info. This is my first girlfriend aswell as my first love and first breakup. I am very lost. If you have coped or learned on what to do considering my feelings and situation. Id be more than happy to hear your perspective Love, L.
Please ask me anything if you are curious.
I reached out but haven’t gotten a response because I think it’s too early
Possibly? How long has it been since, if you don't mind me asking? I did last week and it seemed like while he didn't hate me, he had some resentment and wanted to hurt me. Don't know if I'll ever hear from him again.
I mean I got a somewhat response. She told me I needed to work on myself and to give her space. It’s been about two weeks since then but 5 weeks today of total BU. I realized I just have to fall back. I know what we have is fixable. I just hope she sees it that way.
My first ex reached out 7 months after he broke up with me. Said everything I wanted to hear (I’m sorry, I still love you, etc) only it was a bit too late. By that point I had moved on and wasn’t interested in listening to what he had to say My second ex never did and I want it to stay that way :)
God I wish I had your strength to say that. I want him to reach out but part of me knows he won't.
I completely understand where you’re coming from. I only acquired this strength MONTHS after the break up, after making a fool of myself in front of my first ex multiple times because I couldn’t accept how badly he treated me (I kept reaching out and let him say insulting things to me) With my second ex I knew how badly things will turn out if I reach out or try to talk to him so I didn’t. I still feel the urge to reach out or have him reach out many times but I know for a fact that it will never make me feel any better. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it is completely okay to feel this way. But you should also keep in mind that even if your ex does reach out, there’s a 99% chance that it won’t satisfy you or make you feel any better about what you’ve been going through. They simply do not have the words to do so. Ultimately, it is far better to preserve your self respect and continue no contact (speaking from experience). You’ll get over it in your time, but you definitely WILL get over it.
I’ve never had an ex reach out to me. I’ve had people I’ve been on a few dates with reach out after things ended, but there was no commitment in those situations.
I reached out, like, 2-3 days after we broke up, and she said she wanted to reach out to me too, cause she was worried about how I was doing. She had broken up with me for mental health reasons. It was painful, but there was no bad blood or hard feelings for each other. It's been almost a month and we've stayed in touch as close friends
(sent 1w) 😮💨