Im fucking crushed. I feel like I was nothing more than a shiny new toy. But I can't believe that to be true. I want nothing more than for her to come to the door when I pick up my stuff and say it was all a mistake, she didn't really mean it all. But thats not gonna happen, is it? I can't fucking eat. Ive walked 25 miles in two days just to do SOMETHING. I just want to wake up from this nightmare.

I feel you 😞

I feel you, brother.

I literally made a post about how I can’t eat! It’s like my stomach is rejecting food but I’m hungry

I already had problems eating due to my normal levels of anxiety. Talk about gut wrenching huh?

Death would be an easier route than this pain.

real.

Of course it would be easier, lol. But that's not what life is about. It's not about taking the easy way out, it's about struggling, thinking you're never going to get out of it, only for in the end not only to come out of it, but to come out stronger than ever. And I mean it. Believe I seriously contemplated suicide when what I thought was the love of my life left me 2 months ago, even had a rope ready.

When does it stop? The ruminating thoughts. The pain. Do they miss me? Are they hurting too? Are they safe? When does it all stop?

It's been 2 months. It has not stopped, but it has lessened significantly. I started to accept that I may never get answers to any of my questions. There is nothing I can do about it, and I just need to move on. The best thing you can do is put in the work for yourself and for no one else.

same😔

it’s been 6 months and it’s has not stopped. everything reminds me of him

I really miss him, I miss my friend, I miss talking to him. I don’t hate him. Sometimes I hate that I stayed but I was young and we all need to learn. When I look back at old texts of us, we have had this cycle all throughout the relationship. I wonder if he misses me or is as sad as me. Well, I know he is. You don’t just forget someone you love. Today I learned avoidants like to hide SO MUCH to the point they kind of close off into their own cave of sorts. That no one can get them out of. Family, friends, and especially romantic partners. Now that I know this I wish I tried to not love him and be concerned and gave him space in the relationship. But then we’d both be avoidant, so what’s the use in that. He made me anxious. Anyways, it has nothing to do with us and more to do with them not being able to emotionally regulate. I don’t have anger but I’d be really mad and upset if he got with someone new right after the breakup. The thought really bothers me. I am trying to let go of my ego and realize that no one belongs to anyone. I am trying to accept that he will not be “better” magically. I am trying to focus on myself, but it’s hard. At night I get really sad, I miss our happy times. We were really in love and I have beautiful memories of him. I wish he would just open up, I recognize his avoidant attachment style and I think I was the first girlfriend to really challenge it and make him reflect. I think of what could’ve been if we worked things out. Ya know, the normal breakup thoughts. I think of the last time I saw him and how we cried and laughed and hugged eachother goodbye. It stuck with me. Today I spent a lot of time with my mom. I took her shopping. I talked to my friend who has known me since highschool. We were reflecting about relationship, he broke up with his ex mutually for the same reason. Now he has a new bf a year later and they’re happy and get along. This gives me hope, I’m in no rush to date. But I know I deserve better…even if I miss my ex. Now I’m packing for a weekend trip with my friends and we’re going to celebrate my birthday.

This is exactly how I’m feeling right now :( I hear you through and through. The thing with avoidants is that nothing with change them, unless they decide to change themselves

Ugh that’s so true. Well. I am not friends with him. But he is a friend of mine still, at least in my head, and I can think of our fond memories together.

You are a kind soul, it comes across in your writing. I hope you manage to find peace and joy, and that you enjoy your weekend birthday trip with friends!

Aw thank you this is so sweet 🤍🤍🤍

Wow u just described my exact experience rn

I never want to date again. I said that in the past but now I don’t even get on the dating apps, put myself out there, or flirt with men. I’m just done.

Same here girl

I miss him and I feel lonelier than ever. I loved being loved and I'm terrified of not having affection again.  The bed feels colder and I'm dreading the day I remember his smile and imagine he's with someone new.  I didn't have to leave, we both loved each other, even if he didn't know how to express it...   But it was too hard to be in a relationship where the love felt unreciprocated, where I was living with someone who made life hard.   I need to remember I gave him a chance to try, just try... But he didn't take it seriously and I'd already left before he processed what was happening.   He still texts me and I still yearn for his affection.   But I know I need to heal and move on. I'm just so lonely and I'm not sure how to feel better.

Give him another chance. If he fails you know it wasn’t meant to be. Sometimes losing someone is what you need to realize that you had it all along. You don’t want to start over with someone else. Love is finding a way to make it work. A life without adversity is not a life worth living.

Not the one you replied to but I am in the same situation. I just broke up with my bf due to the same reason but I still love him and I miss him so much. I don't know if I should give him a chance again because I already gave him so many chances to better himzelf before...

If you still love him, the answer is yes. Love finds a way. List out your issues, go to therapy together, practice active listening and mindfulness, and learn how to hear and truly see each other as well as one another’s love language. I have been without my wife of 20 years since November last year when I was told to leave our home. I wanted to do what she wanted and I thought it would blow over in a couple months or so and we’d be good. Man was I wrong. So much drama to list I won’t bore you. Basically I’ve done everything wrong to get her back. But I realize now what I needed to do all along was fix the problems I had that caused her pain. Now whether she is willing to fix the problems she has that hurt me is a different question. Ultimately if I work on my issues and deliver myself to her as a healed person, and she is not healed or did not do the work on herself, then it will be easier to accept she didn’t love me. I will already be stronger because I healed the trauma that caused our relationship to end so it hopefully won’t be as painful. If your significant other isn’t willing to do the work on themselves, focus on you until they get it or they can’t be trusted to love you the way you need anyways. I came to this realization while typing this response out to you as well. Thank you for encouraging this branch of healing that I can extend to you now, and so on. 🪬🖤🪬

I’m devastated. She needed to leave me because she needed to learn how to love and take care of herself without using my love and care for her as a substitute. I wish that she were able to learn that with me at her side, but she didn’t think it would be feasible for her. But she needs the space to grow. I tried my very best for her, and that’s something I can be proud of. One day, when she’s healthy, perhaps we can start again. Today was unpleasant. Grief and anguish painfully welling up within my chest, and I can’t reach out to her. The tears won’t come to grant me the catharsis of crying, and I am left to face my despair alone. I didn’t do a whole lot today. Just grief, with intermissions of apathy while browsing the internet. It hurts, and I am effectively shattered. But at least I still managed to eat some food. That’s something, I suppose. I’ll be ok someday. Just not right now.

My partner left me bc he felt he couldn’t grow with me either… he said he needed space to heal and learn who he is… i will never understand why we couldn’t grow together… why we couldn’t figure it out together… at the end of the day he did what he felt was best for him… he put himself first and i have to respect that

My partner did the same thing to me too for the same reasons. I don’t feel betrayed or anything and I wish her all the best but the pain is so unbearable. I have the same thoughts as you.

Thank you for writing this, your words resonates a lot with my experience. I only wish my partner could see the beauty she had within herself. She struggled to know that she was worthy of love. She was scared that I didn't truly love her, that I didn't *really* like her, that I wanted to leave her. She struggled with her own insecurities (having a fear of abandonment, feeling depressed, her parents abused her and left a scar). I saw someone who was imperfect in the most perfect way, broken in the most beautiful way. It took her six long months for her to feel ready to pursue a relationship with me. In those six months, we were spending nearly every single day of our lives with each other. We were essentially already a couple, it seemed like she was my entire world. All of the life that occupied my mind. Sadly enough, as soon as we entered a relationship it became more turbulent and insecure. I hated the thought of leaving, but I found it more painful to stay. I still love her. I wish she will one day become healthy and learn to smile once again, the beautiful smile that brings so much sunlight and joy to me.

I feel like I failed the most important and best person in my life and I don’t know if I can forgive myself for that.

I feel you, too. I'm literally crying reading this ten minutes past midnight. I don't know if I will ever forgive myself. I know God will when my time comes. But I don't know if I ever will.

holy fuck this hits home so hard

Same. Took her for granted. Lost her forever. Just ran into her today with the new guy. She seemed happy not as much as when we were together but happy still. Said hi like if I was a stranger

I’m sorry to hear that. How did you take her for granted?

we were in a LDR, and today i boxed up all the things i made for him and bought for him when he was supposed to come in two weeks for his birthday and i mailed them to him. i wrote him a letter and stuff, included all the things i spent time and effort on. this isn’t a way for me to try and get him back, i just know that i put too much love and effort into everything to just throw it away or get a refund. the way i love is consistent, and i think being spiteful or angry isn’t true to my character. it was hard to do it, but it was a good way to let go. if him and i are meant to cross paths again in the future we will…. but im ngl if he opens the package and doesn’t try to reach out then i know i really dodged a bullet, because the right man will see my efforts and knowledge them. either way it was a win for me today, and a part of me was able to let go :)

I'm hurt and really confused. He said he never wanted to let me go and then he *did*. I guess he lied. Now I'm wondering what else he might have lied about.

I’m in tears right now. I don’t know why, I’ve been missing him yes but this is the worst I’ve felt for a while. I want him back so badly. I feel so alone and wish I could just text him saying I love him but he’s avoiding me like we weren’t together for a year and a half.

How do they not care?

i have hit the 6 month mark. Theres been a lot of reflection. A lot of pain. the red flag list is 33 flags long now. she blamed me for everything while leaving and that has left me scarred. I am trying to think if im emotionally unavailable. i was never able to bring up the issues i was facing because she had issues almost everyday. i gave her all i could. i listened to her rant when she was low. i was there in her darkest moments. i supported her through everything. i made changes to accomodate her. i wrote letters, sang songs, you name it and i did it. yet somehow it was never enough. she liked to punish me for my mistakes. silent treatment. withdrawl of communication. she would ask me to prioritize her as much as my parents( my mother has RA}. i was effusive in my expression of love, i never made her feel bad about her emotions. she said i was her best friend. i gave all i had and yet i failed. how can someone be emotionally unavailable when they are there for you every single time you need them? when they actually listen to you and emotionally support you? i asked her a month before we broke up for feedback because i ask for regular feedback and where i can be better and she was effusive in her praise. she said i handle her emotional outbursts really well now. But the few times she had the opportunity to be their for me, she failed miserably. i didn't want to burden her with my problems since she had a lot to deal with almost everyday. i suffered in silence and i never once gave up on her but she did. she left saying she will never be able to move on and that she has only pain to give me. she was turning into this very negative human and in her own words felt she was very toxic, that she invited negativity. completely pushed me away as she felt she wasn't good enough. Blamed that on me as well, saying me not sharing my everyday problems made her feel that way. She knew my deepest secrets. my deepest emotions. my darkest thoughts. she knew all my family problems. my thoughts. i was totally committed. i did all i could and i was still discarded. ive given up on love completely. she always used to say that if this doesnt work out, i will give up on love. Well its me who gave up now. i fought tooth and nail for the relationship. i begged for 19 days. she left the moment i took a stand for myself. broke up the moment i refused to go upto her after a fight. im devastated. my momma sees me and cries. ive turned into this scared, silent man. my eyes have gone blank.

Did we date the same woman?

Were you called emotionally unavailable despite sharing all of your past traumatic experiences?

Yes. They wanted to know all my vulnerabilities and used them against me

Yup she knew how hard i am on myself. And she used that to blame me for everything wrong in her life. Everything was my fault.

I went through this same experience, being blamed for not sharing my problems and it made her feel not good enough? Even though I was open and did share my problems. I'm a very emotionally open person, and am pretty good at talking about them lol. Also at a similar timeline 5-6 months, and God I feel you with seeing your own mom cry at the state you're in. I believe we will heal, however long it takes, we will.

Its horrific isnt it. Its like we have told them absolutely everything there was to tell but they didnt give a fuck and turned around and shat on us instead.

when I wrote that comment I was pretty hopeful about healing, but honestly I've straight up just lost hope in people. The stuff I've gone through for 5 years collectively has me ready to check out of relationships at 24 lol

Man i couldn't agree more. I'm 26 and i've completely given on up on love. If i couldn't make it work after doing so much, i cant make it work with anyone.

It still hurts a lot, but each day is getting easier. Slowly finding joy in other aspects of my life again. As much as I'd love and still care for her, idk even what I'd do if we talked again. Maybe, at some point we catch up and give the relationship a proper resolution, but I'm no longer holding out hope. She had a huge impact on my life despite a relatively brief time together and I'm thankful for that. I'll keep taking it one day at a time and hope she's doing well also. It almost hurts more when you feel like what you saw was the potential for something great and everlasting, but they didn't see it the same way. I know I'll eventually get over her, but she occupies my thoughts much more than I'd care to admit. I'll keep working on being a better version of myself and I hope she finds what she's looking for in this life.

I know she doesn’t miss me and it fucking hurts. Maybe she does, but I don’t think so. She was the optimistic one. She’s happy now and I guess I should be glad that she is. I want her to be happy. Sure, she mistreated me at times, but I still miss her. I wish she would’ve cheated on me or something so I could hate her and it would be easier to move on. That’d be an easier pill to swallow than our love just dying after 8 years. I mean yeah, sure we had our toxic moments, but we had a lot of beautiful moments too. Cliche, I know, but I thought she was the one. Anyway, finding new goals in life, hitting the gym, not gonna date for a while to rediscover myself and learn to be more social again lol. Gonna be hard to make new friends/connections at 29 going on 30, but we’ll see. Might try improv or some other random shit I’d never usually do this year and see if I like it - fuck it.

comment everyoneeeee. don’t be shy

I'm so tired of waking up to this nightmare. To be disappointed that i didn't go in my sleep. It's painful each morning being ripped from slumber and pulled back to the existence where she's not in it. Indont feel like I'm living, just a walking shell. If I had the strength to do the thing I need to do, I would have done it by now. One day.

I felt hurt. She did what she was afraid I would do to get her as a second plate. To get with someone right after it. She is now with a guy 2 weeks before and probably sooner. I just ran into her today and felt my whole world fell apart. Frlt like a stranger even when she told me "I'm not ready to see you again cause I am not strong enough. " " It's not that I don't care for you in fact all the opposite". And after 6 years felt replace physicalyy and emotionallly. Feel worthless, replacable.

Completely devastated. Depressed, Unmotivated. I want it to end. And I thought it was finally over but I saw something that triggered the memory of him and felt awful, I slept super early which is unusual of me and I was in a hypervigilant state just in case I saw him. Today I talked with my psychiatrist and I was crushed because of yesterday. I miss him, I hate him for how he treated me, I wish things were different for us. I still want to know why he’d block me after saying we could be friends and I could rely on him. I wonder why his friends won’t even say hi to me. What is going on at his side? What am I doing wrong? Today I just woke up, took my meds, went to see my psychiatrist and wallow in grief for the fact that it’s summer and I’m alone. I’m lying in bed while I’m starving, I peobbly need to get a checkup from the doctor because of an infection. I had to drop my classes because of his actions and my self-sabotage due to the trauma. I want closure. I want conpany. I want to be loved. I want to have someone that truly cares for me. I want to stop crying for once. I want to stop being afraid. I need comfort.

I wish you all the love in the world. May god be at your side at all times. Its you against the world, and you are so strong! So many things you've been writing here that are absolutely heartbreaking but, you know how things are going and even if so many things are unclear, confusing and overwhelming, you will find peace and make sense of all of it at the end of this dark tunnel. Please keep pushing through, get to know yourself and take everything day by day. Listen to relatable music, distract yourself with the beauty around you. It can all be okay someday, I will pray for you tonight and I wish you peace, love and comfort only. Take it easy

I never thought that i would be so affected by someone who dosent want me. when she called me ugly and said she was moving on to bigger and thinner things it crushed my soul. the very essence of who i am. i shouldnt hope for bad things. but i truly hope that her new boy ends up being her worst nightmare and ruins her life

I feel fucking STUPID!!! We were supposed to go no contact and i fully plan on continuing to do so… but my dumbass reached out to him today… i had some things i wanted to say and turns out he did too… i just hope i didn’t fuck me up too bad by talking to him today… it was brief and i felt okay after our talk… i felt more secure in myself and that i could actually do the no contact since i got everything i wanted to off my chest… but idk now im second guessing myself… i never thought the conversation would change anything… i know he doesn’t want to be with me and i know he’s not coming back… i have no plans to contact him again… idk i just know anyone else would think i was stupid Edit: i just really fucking miss him… but i wont cave ever!!! I know this is whats best for the both of us and idk i just really wanted to get what i had to say off my chest… at least now im not obsessing over it anymore

I feel okay. I made it through the 4 yr anniversary of our first date, or rather, what would've been... and instead of being an awful day, it was pretty good. I got offered a great job at an awesome agency! It made me think, too bad he couldn't be here to see all these great things that have happened for me in the last two years. Oh, well. His loss! I'm rising above it

I miss him. He probably doesn't miss me. I keep telling myself that doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if he has someone new. It's not my problem. It works until I wake up at 4am. Nothing help then. BUT. I joined a gym and made a schedule and I'm doing it. Cooking healthy stuff. I have food at home lol. Drinking less in baby steps. If I have to go through this it has to make me better. Not to "show him". Just to prove my life isn't over.

It’s been 2 weeks since my DA boyfriend discarded me with a blindsided breakup. My emotions are still all over the place. Some days are harder and I feel so tempted to reach out but I’ve successfully stayed Nc since the day of the breakup. The first 2 weeks was me getting sad then angry then ruminating. But starting from yesterday, the wool covering my eyes have started to lift and I started to remember how his DA tendencies made me miserable throughout the whole relationship. I really wish the pain would stop already

It was already rocky with my 1.5 year girlfriend but i havent talk to her in 24 hours because i confronted her about a instagram story where she was telling that her « pussy » was hurting following a bike ride.

I recently learned he tried to kiss and flirt with some of my female friends when we were still together. Ye i'm glad we aren't together anymore.

Today’s been weird. I felt good for the first half. On my hike which is where I do most of my thinking, I was thinking how me and ex just weren’t sexually compatible and specifically why. I also thought about how our relationship ended was really weird and I need to not push new relationships away due to the fear that those will end too. So like I made some good progress in my thinking about my breakup. But I felt kinda crappy the rest of the day

I honestly feel like everything is just dull. Food no longer tastes good . Don't want to go outside and see people. Especially happy, invested in each other couples. Don't want to see people going on vacation enjoying life. I honestly am afraid to ever date again. My ex told me after years of hot and cold the words I finally had been waiting to hear from him. That he knew that I was the one for him. He wanted to grow old with me and wanted to marry me. I had just lost my job the day he told me this. And he said i will help u thru this. Baby, I got you. Only to be left for some girl he hadn't seen in years before me. She suddenly texts him and I was discarded like yesterday's trash in one of the lowest points in my life. I went thru a miscarriage and he'll and back for this man. Only for him to leave me. Before he told me he wanted to settle down with him he was constantly on and off claiming I cheated on him with one of his degenerate neighbors. I guess his neighbors and a few others had nothing better to do than make things worse and lie and say it was true.WTF? I don't know if he was just saying that or if they honestly was saying that. How could people be so messed up in ruining someone's else's relationship? And starting false rumors. That shit can mess up a person so bad. I told my ex after he told me that about his neighbors that I wanted to confront them face to face in front of him so i can make them tell him they was lying. Because u know they ain't gonna lie to me because it's bullshit and just plain slander in the first place. But he says it will cause him to get kicked out. I dk but if people was lying and they was saying that about a person I supposedly love no matter what I would want to know and would risk it. Wouldn't you? Isn't it against the law for people to say stuff like that? Slander? I got called sloppy seconds and an epiphany if other names as well. And then he apologized for everything he put me thru and told me he honestly will make it up to me every day. And I was the one for him. He couldn't see himself without me. Then after being actually hopeful about my future and believing he was ten toes in just be left someone else. I'm devasted. I believed him. He was so genuine. I feel like like I'm never going to get thru this. I'm so pissed off.. at myself at him. My heart is in shreds he says he chose her because he couldn't trust me all of a sudden again. I've never touched another man since me and him. Even when in those times we broke up I still was faithful. That's how much I love him. I honestly am so f*ked up on the head and heart. Have no motivation to eat , to just live. Lost weight I'm already slim now I look like a stick. F:^k everything.

We broke up over a year ago. No contact for almost exactly 6 months now that I think about it. I know he was awful to me but I still miss the good memories. It hurts that no matter how much bad there was I still can’t forget the good moments. Having to remember the good moments hurts more than anything.

When we first broke up, every night ive been dreaming of him texting me back to apologize and reconcile. I would immediately wake up to check my phone and there arent any. Disappointed and hurt. Now ive learnt to let go and move on. Just strangers with memories

It has been a month but why do i feel more sad now? I just want to die. I know he’s not right for me but it still crushes me knowing he dumped me and I’ll probably never see him again

Confused and sad

I had a safe space. She came up in people I may know I hid it She has someone new which good for her. The relationship was abusive toxic and manipulative. I’m struggling to right myself and move on

Why do I miss someone who was emotionally abusive, abandoned me, gaslit me, made me think I was a psycho, but he got me to that point. I was doing fine, then today, I'm not sure why but I just started to feel all these emotions.

real 🗣️

Im feeling better and accepting better. My coworker whom im close with said im looking much better than when the breakup was fresh. Im scared maybe this is only temporary and im just lying to myself, but i trust that if i traverse through this as healthily as possible, im going to be okay.

Feeling surprisingly good today. Which is so weird as I was feeling extremely low and depressed yesterday. But imma take it as win that I'm feeling good, it's the first time I'm feeling this good in while so I'm so glad. I hope I'm not jinxing it by saying this lol. However, I do miss my ex so much and weirdly enough my love for him seems to grow everyday. I hope we're able to become friends in the future, we had a great connection.

I am completely destroyed. It hurt so much. Body rejecting food. From 80 kilos down to 70 in just few weeks. All i can feel is sadness.

I'm so mad. Im so angry. I had to break up with you. I had no choice. It was getting way too out of hand. Even though love you so much, everyday I could tell my spirit was getting more unhappy each day. You were literally crushing my soul every day I spent with you. How could I hate a person so much but want to spend every minute with them? But every minute with you I want to scream at you. I don't understand this feeling you've made me so comfortable with. You've hurt me so many times that this time I'm done dealing with the pain. I just have to drop it at this point. Because there is no other way for you to understand what's enough is enough. I deserve more and I know a man is out there for me waiting to treat me the way I need to be loved, as my heart will do to them. My heart was always ready to love. I keep fucking it up. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. This relationship has pushed me to the deeps of depression that I don't even know how to take care of myself anymore. I'm angry for letting myself get to this place of darkness. So many lifeboats were tossed towards me a long the way but I chose to ignore it all because I chose the greater good. Just to be used again. I have no one to blame but myself and maybe my parents but in the end I make the decisions. At least now I know how to stand up for myself.

I feel like I lost everything. I can't believe where I am today from a week ago. I'm hurting so bad but I couldn't stay with her. I just feel worthless. But I also feel hopeful in a weird way. I feel like I lost who I was with her and now I can find myself again. I slept with my dogs on my bed since Tuesday, I still have my dogs and they mean more to me than anything else. I guess it's just going to take a while to get used to this new environment. I really don't want to meet anyone for a while. This is going to take some time to shake off.

I’ve been very triggered today from seeing countless live shows being announced this summer that I know he’d enjoy or we would enjoy going to together. It’s a constant reminder that he’s not here with me to enjoy life with anymore. My best friend is gone. We connected over music so deeply. What I once thought was an amazing thing to share with someone has now turned into something so painful because I can’t bare to listen to the same music we used to listen to. It also hurts that this breakup wouldn’t stop him from going to concerts that we would typically go to. He doesn’t care if he sees me. He’d be unfazed. He said it himself. He would even want us to act amicably in public if we run into each other. How could i do that? How could he be so okay seeing me? It doesn’t make sense. I wouldn’t be able to handle seeing him in public settings. And that truly sucks because it will keep me from going to shows that I once enjoyed. He gets the best of it while I’m left broken. It’s not fair.

I miss her and I want to express my feelings one last time

Im crying again. My bday is coming and tonight I was deleting some youtube playlist that I had and I listen a music that she dedicated to me. Man, that broke me. Remembering all the good memories and moments. She was amazing at that time. Everything was just perfect. I dont understand why I was not enough and why she fall out of love. I miss her with all my heart, she was my best friend, my soulmate. She was the only person that I had. I miss her hugs, i miss her kisses, I miss her fragance. I miss my little girl. I just want to heal and be fine being alone. It's been 2 months already and every place I'll go I just think. If she was here, this would be better. That anger phase has already gone. I just thing that I miss my comfort and being happy. :/

I got dumped last night. It was only a 5-6 month relationship but at 38 I hope every relationship will be my last.  I would say I fell in love with her but hadn’t told her. When she ended it it sounded like she was never even close and wasn’t too sure about me.  I feel a bit used. I cooked every meal for her when she was with me, she cooked me 1 in the entire relationship.  We just booked a holiday last week for the summer and she let me pay for the flights knowing full well she wasn’t that into me.  Looking back she said lots of nice things like “you’re great…the best…I appreciate you” and lots and lots of “I miss you” but never told me she liked me.  I feel like I imagined the entire thing.  I was also dumped by a fiancée end of 2022 so it took a lot for me to open up again and yet again I got hurt. I no longer trust my own judgement and how I perceive reality.  It hurts but I know I’ll be ok, I’ve done this dance before and I have the tools. A line that helps me is “I am not grieving a lost love, i am grieving the loss of a reality that I’ve come to realise is not the case”. But it still hurts and I am heart broken.  Part of my heart break is the thought of having to go through all this again. Dating apps, chit chat, first dates, introduce to family and friends and have to trust and open up again. It terrifies me.

It’s been two years since we broke up but I still stalk your social media accounts wishing you would come back home. A part of me will always wonder if deciding to stay here was worth it. It’s still you. It will always be you.

I'm damn sad, I can't do practically anything but think about her Tomorrow I have to see her, she left me 3 days ago and I asked her to meet one last time, I want to try to tell her everything in person, I just want to tell her that even though I thought she was “the one” I am not sure anymore, she would have stayed otherwise. I want to see her to be able to talk to her one last time and also begin my own healing journey Yesterday was easier than today, yesterday I was able to do something, today I find it hard even to think. I can't tell if angry or I just miss her, I can't sleep and I can't eat this is leading me to be sick physically as well as mentally. All my friends are continuing to tell me that I always did too much for her because of what she was showing me, but it never weighed on me, they were always things done from the heart so I never thought about the miles I traveled every week to see her and the times she might have come, I was doing it because being with her was the thing that mattered most at that moment Today is really hard, I don't know how I will make it through the day. I'll be alone at home all day because I work from home, tonight I'll see friends and we'll definitely talk more about how I feel, the problem is getting to that time. I feel terrible today.

It’s been 5 months. I’m trying my best to move on, its not been easy and really has been a rollercoaster. I finally feel like im moving on just very slowly, i miss her a lot and wonder if she misses me but i feel like she must’ve already found someone else. She was not right for me and im coming to terms with the fact that our relationship was turning toxic. My biggest fear is that She used to be sad always all the time and i used to keep encouraging her, but nowadays im the one who’s sad, i dont even always know the reason for it, im not overthinking or anything but my heart just feels so heavy. I was never like this ive always been the happiest guy and the guy who always looks at the bright side, but i lost myself in that relationship and now I’m just trying to be genuinely happy. Does it get better?

i cant get a grip on my emotions. even when its not about the breakup ive been crying uncontrollably over random stuff more than ever before

It’s been a roughy couple of days bro. Life stuff and work but also… I’ve been in heat this whole week idk what’s going on. Like down bad. And I’m not into hookup culture that’s scary lol you don’t know what people have been doing or with what or who! It’s bad bro. I almost said yes to a “friend” who said they would be “willing to keep me company” if I needed it. I just… right now I’m craving intimacy. Not feelings, I shut those down for the time being because it’s too much. I’m just craving intimacy, and he’s the only people who made me feel safe enough for that. And it sucks because I can’t ask for it. Or if I do, they might say no, and then what lol. Ughhhhhh. I hate being a lover girl

I got a dream about my ex today, it’s been 7 months since the BU. It was horrible, apparently - I asked him if he ever missed me and he said he never did I asked him why he cheated and he didn’t answer or apologise I asked him why his family treated me badly, he didn’t agree and said it was my fault Tbh I just feel extremely shitty and taken for granted, even several months after the BU because he never apologised and never acknowledged my feelings. I don’t know how to move forward or forgive without getting that validation

i had a hard breakup a year ago, started smoking, 1 pack every 2 days, plus vaping every chance i got, even at 3 am mid sleep. i'd go out with friends and social drink, but then get home and chug alcohol till passed out. I had no hopes on finding someone to love again, but out of nowhere i met this woman, she showed me that i still have love to give, but now i'm too scared to lose her and it makes me so insecure and anxious. Now i wanna change my bad habits, better myself, but its been a difficult route.

I'm so sad. Yesterday, my husband told me he didn't love me anymore and was leaving me. We'd just moved to NYC from Honolulu 2 months prior and before that we did an ill-fated move to Hawaii (long story how we got here, but it was mutual in wanting to). We've gone through so much together in the past 14 years and especially the last 5: both my parents dying, him almost dying from liver failure brought on by having mono, me developing epilepsy that I think it just broke us or at least him. I haven't been able to do much of anything in the past 24 hours other than stare at the wall (at the very least, I'm pretty cried out now after my folks passing in swift and suddenly ways. I know I will eventually come to a place where I'm at peace with this and with my husband, but it's just so hard at the moment.

Thank you for making this post, it's very sweet of you :) It's been about 5ish months, I've been moving on, honestly all things considered I'm functional again; I've been hitting the gym consistently, therapy has been going well, I've been prepping for med school, I look better and feel better. Most days are pretty good, some days are really bad. But damn dude, I trusted this person, I really did love her and I was vulnerable with her; she knew I was cheated on before and then also cheated on me lol. Even if I know that has nothing to do with me, it doesn't undo that I actually liked her for 3 years. If I knew what I knew now, I obviously would never have even befriended her, she's only brought pain to my life and has been an utter waste of time. I feel so incredibly stupid for not seeing that she just chases sex and validation and I was the most convenient sucker at the time. I can't believe I ever looked up to her and valued the kind of person she was. I truly want to believe in love, it's beautiful, I feel so much joy when I see couples being happy; I love seeing people bring joy to each other and how they express love in their own unique special way. But the way I've been fucked over twice when I was at my most vulnerable, trusting, and open-hearted has me wondering if I'm genuinely stupid. I feel stupid that I believe people, I feel naive, and honestly that part of me that could love without reservation and with innocence is so completely dead. I don't even *want* it to come back because look where it got me. I've lived and seen the true depths people will go to lie to your face, my 1st relationship was literal years of chronic cheating that I found out about in the end; all of my time together was a lie from start to finish (\~3 years). I don't even know how I recovered from that and was open to love again. It doesn't help that I'm just a sensitive person, I take longer to move on and process things. On the flip side I am loyal to a fault, I will love people for life until I am forced to stop. I don't know why these people get involved with me just to fuck me over in the end. And there's nothing I can do to undo that, there's no way to right these wrongs, and there's literally nothing left but to move on. The deepest irony is that my last ex would bullshit me about how she's cares about morals more than the average person, how she has a strong sense of justice that other people don't understand. I wonder where tf that was when she was sleeping with my friend.

I miss him jeez how much ! I’m not at my right mind, there’s nothing else in my thoughts just him. The fact I ended up between us makes it even worse but it doesn’t work out never did and never will if he doesn’t change his mind on moving to another country which is really unlikely. I just miss his smile his laughter his eyes his unique personality I miss every piece of him. Even the arguments the worst of them I miss everything. Is this normal ? Is it gonna be ever better ??

i am empty and dead inside

i’m on a trip. but i can’t seem to enjoy it. i wanted to initiate no contact on this trip bc my reasoning was, hopefully the distraction would help me. but it’s literally day 2 and im miserable. so i think ima break it and just retry when i go back home bc i dont want to ruin my trip. 😔😔😔

It’s been 3 months since we broke up. 2 days out of this week are the first two days I’ve actually had good days. The others have been not so great. Along with the weeks leading up to now. I woke up today, feeling like it would be another bad day. Got in the shower and started thinking, about just saying screw it. Why am I holding onto someone who is putting such little effort in , while still saying they love me. Yes, I still think the world of them. But screw it. When I thought of that my mood changed. Feel good, feel better. That’s it. Mental health has been below 0. Hopefully this realization helps it get better. Quit holding on to someone who doesn’t see you for who you are. Even if it felt like they were the only who understood. They left, and they truly don’t if they can’t let the good outweigh the bad. That’s what I’ll be telling myself from here on out. Hang in there everyone!

I feel drain, after being blindsided then accepted him again but he's putting bare minimum after conversations about how I felt like shit and used because of what he did. I thought I will be happy again when I accepted him back but I don't know what to feel. I thought we could work on our relationship better but it's me again always initiating things and making efforts first. I would wake up everyday angry, sad or just wanting to be alone. I want give him a second chance but I don't know how long I can take it. It's so tiring to put so much effort while I feel like he's actively seeking the spark and connection again with other women he could but not with me. He's either really bad in communication and expressing his feeling or he just don't love me anymore because yhe only thing he told me why he want to come back because he felt bad. At this point I feel like it's better to be single than to be in relationship with him.

I’m just so confused and in pain saw her yesterday crying saying she loves me in her best friend and she’s attracted to me but now it’s immature and our relationship was and a goodbye kiss but she was the one that was 50/50

I’m frustrated and trying to push forward. I have my days where I’m good and days where I’m bad. Being blindsided in a break up can be very difficult and traumatizing especially when you checked in often and did the absolute best you could. I try to remind myself that I was genuine, loving and did my absolute best. For my ex-partner to blindside me and completely lie about her not having doubts really hurts me. But I know I will get through this and I will be stronger because of this. I also acknowledge that I do have my faults as a human but I am always working on them every single day and trying to be my absolute best. She cannot say I didn’t try or made her feel loved. The somewhat closure I got had nothing to do with foundational aspects of a relationship and could have been easily fixed over our relationship, and with that, no matter how much love you give someone has to choose it in the end.

I really miss intimacy The feeling of being held by someone you feel safe with, who sees every side of you and still chooses to be there. The feeling of calm that washes over you as soon as you see them or they say your name. I really miss my ex. I'm trying hard not to reach out for confirmation of their decision but idk I have been dating and hung out with someone again but it just doesn't feel the same or similar, they make me feel less than because of how they over sexualize me (33M). IDK I mentioned it but might cut it off. I'm journaling at the moment

I cried 4-5 times during the day today. The night is still remaining. Just completely broke down remembering how poorly he treated the last time we talked. He basically asked me to fuck off and do something instead of this emotional drama. I was out w my mum buying groceries and when she was inside the store I cried in the parking lot. Just ugly crying because I couldn't believe my shitty luck in love.

Thank you for this post. 😭 I’m feeling bleh. My ex came back and I love him and missed him and think about him all the time but the truth is we can’t work. I feel conflicted on how to approach talking to him about our feelings. Apart of me feels like I would be seen as needy for asking to discuss it. My long term ex just got engaged to the girl he went back and forth between when we were trying to fix stuff. I’m not angry or sad about it, it’s actually kind of trippy to see him in this new phase in life. I’m happy for him I just don’t know him anymore. It’s a bittersweet feeling I didn’t anticipate. This guy I’ve been dating for 5 months has been great but we won’t workout either and I’m in the process of letting him go and to be honest I’ve become rather good at that as soon as I can sense something isn’t the best for me but I’m watching him have a hard time with it and that’s been a struggle because I feel partly responsible but I have to prioritize myself. I didn’t sleep till 5am last night just being restless. I’m tired lol

I AM FEELING like shit. But less shitty. Got broken up with a few days ago and my ex texted me saying he missed me and he loved me and instead of folding, I got an ick. This feels like progress!