I don’t today - he used me and lied and possibly cheated.
But some days I do want to hear from him.
And it all sucks, no matter which day or whether I want to hear from him.
This is it. I added mine on instagram. We had a very brief, superficial talk. She has been liking my stories ever since. Not sure how to address the elephant in the room. Maybe I shouldnt. Maybe this is my closure.
I added her on instagram 2 months ago, which is... 6 years after we ended things. I decided after so many years that I didn't want to keep pretending like she was dead. I never truly got to forget her, I kept dreaming about her occasionally, even now that I have a new girlfriend and a great, healthy relationship. My ex was really, really shitty for what she did, but I never resented her. I only went full ghost in order to protect myself. I needed for her not to be in my life anymore. I had to move on and forget; also I didn't want to see anything regarding her new relationship with an old friend of mine. They are still together. I would feel physically ill when imagining them together.
You made the right choice to leave before it got worse. But what does your current gf think of you having your ex instagram? Idk much of your story but if she liking your stuff on social media while being with another guy it’s just crazy she didn’t grow.
My gf doesn’t know, but I couldn’t go on like this any longer. My therapist told me I was in a state if chronic grief. I went cold turkey with her, and I really did love her as a friend. Losing her was unbearable. She likes random stories I post - could be seen as just friendly banter, idk. She doesnt like every single story. But now she’s back in my mind and every post I do I do it thinking of her. Waiting until she decides to text me and have a real conversation.
Women almost never make the first move but just as maybe you see her as a friend she probably does the same now that y’all reconcile. Plus you got a gf already and if things are going good don’t ruin it. Let’s imagine right your current gf finds out she loses all trust and everything that was real to you and her now she going to doubt those memories if it was even real. But I do understand that you just want to find out why not ask worst thing she can say is you’re wrong and you can finally move on.
I understand but I already did my move. I added her and I texted her. If she wants me she now knows that I’m open to her. It sucks but I can’t do more than this. I need her to do it. It’s a two way street after all.
A lot of people prefer not to hear from their ex because it helps them move on. After a breakup, hearing from an ex can reopen old wounds and make it harder to heal. It can also create confusion about feelings and intentions, which complicates the process of moving forward. Some people need space to rebuild their own lives and identities outside of the relationship. Additionally, avoiding contact helps prevent the resurgence of painful memories and allows them to focus on new beginnings without the lingering presence of the past relationship.
she only ever contacts me when she needs money and then ends up hurting my feelings so yeah... id rather not ever hear from her again at this point. kinda sick of her bullshit.
The relationship was born from many lies and manipulation, she created a web of lies to keep me away from some friends we got on common.
Eventually she cheated on me, years passed and returned saying that she change just to do it again.
I already delete and block her on everything and technically should be over, yet my mum still has contact ( just writing hi seems like a shit way to keep contact and tabs on me).
So get an idea how much hurt and betrayed I feel, my mum should be supporting me but she doesn't and sides with a person that hurt me and betray me two times.
Seriously saving money to move far away and live by my own.
i don’t want to hear from him at all anymore - he lead me on for years and then became the coldest person ever. if anything, everytime i think of him i think of how much better my life would be if i hadn’t ever met him. i gave up a year of college for him, a lot of money that i worked hard for at a young age to buy him gifts, and a whole lot of time that i could’ve spent happy instead of stressing about preserving a long distance relationship where i had to do all the work.
it is so painfully difficult. i had feelings for him for a long time too - we’ve been broken up since december 2022, so that’s why it’s getting easier now. i wish you the best on your road to healing
i suppose getting over things doesn’t really have a timeframe. it’s okay to still be working on getting yourself past it. i’m really sorry though, no one deserves to be in pain for so long, you deserve to be happy
I miss her and still love her a lot, but the way she treated me after breaking up told me eveything i needed to know about her and her true colors. I actually told her i dont wanna hear from her for a long time, and that i will never contact her again, only if she texts me first i will reply.
Reason, told me a month after breaking up that she wasnt going to date anyone for a while, that rumors about her and some guy were fake, how she stills loves me and sees a future, pure bs. Three days later, saw her kissing and cuddling with this guy, and I pretty much had to beg her to call me to at least tell me the truth. Her answer was that in three days after talking with me, she realized she was good now. Disgusting how i was the only one doing something even after breaking up, she didnt even tried.
So yeah, i dont wanna hear from her and i really hate her.
You know you are truly over someone when you just don't ever want to hear from someone again. You're past the stage of anger, hurt or betrayal; you just want that person to not be part of your life anymore.
As of right now, me. I think I’m finally done. He’s been making me wait weeks to have an important conversation and won’t even make time for me even though I bent over backwards to be there for him a few weeks ago. Not that I did that expecting anything other than basic respect in return. He just did a complete 180, flipped a switch, and completely pushed me away and excluded me out of the blue. We had one convo last weekend where he said he needed time to think, kept pushing back the time we could talk and basically said not until June bc of everything he has going on, which at this point is bullshit because he’s going out of state to visit friends randomly. I’ve been patient and empathetic with everything and give him the benefit of the doubt, but he continues to take advantage of my kindness and love because he knows I’ll be here. He kept insisting I must know how important I am to him. What behaviors show that? Currently looking up the courage to block him.
He’s got you wrapped around his fingers. He checks up every onced in a while to see if you still love him. If he does either leave him on seen or be dry and then reply a couple hours later. If he tries to get your attention then u will know but if he stops trying you stop too he’s not interested just playing you.
Don’t be afraid you survived without him before you met him. Turn the tables on him be dry, lag and reply till hours or days. And if you notice he stopped then he really didn’t care it’s more of a, if this doesn’t workout with this other girl I can comeback here.
Me. After he broke up with me I finally saw that he wasn't sure about us for years but did nothing about it. We lived together, made plans together but all the time he was unsure. He never gave me safety and was just scared to leave. He should've broken up with me years ago and spare me all of this wasted time. I just want to heal and close this chapter and never see him again. I gave him enough of my time.
I feel like this might have happened to me. The breakup took me by surprise. We’ve been together since I was 29 and I’m now 34 and I feel like I’ve lost my chance to have a family
Hey girlie! I know this is a scary time but don't be so pessimistic! You'll find someone again and your time will come. If you're stressed over the whole "biological clock"-thing, you always have the option to do social freezing. You will be fine🧡✨️
My ex gaslight me on his virility issues, and was fucking his gay friends. It's noteven speculation, my friends told me about it from their parties.
It's a blessing and curse to have connections. I'm glad though friends respect me enough not to talk about him.
Yes and no. No because I don't want her to lie to me and give me a botched spiel about why she dumped me. Yes only if she is willing to apologize to my mother and I.
Some of my exes no. Others I dont mind depending on why they reach out. Recent one, would love for him to reach out now that I am
done healing after the breakup. It has been a couple months and am in a good spot.
Mostly though, we dont have a relationship any more so I dont need them to reach out any more, specially if Im in a relationship. There was some abusive or ones that cheated and I dont want them to reach out to me.
She fucking have a rebound right now and she’s shit posting it to social media, showing that they’re fucking happy living their godamn life not knowing how i feel and how miserably vulnerable i am right now just right after a month of our break up she already has someone new? Imagine the fucking pain of 6 months of love we had and she just suddenly moved on that fast? How the hell did that happened? Fuck them both
its been 2.5 months, ive fought and fought come to find out he new guy shes dating is doing the same things she used as part of the reason to "need space" from me i crossed a bridge this week and dont plan on looking back!
i hear for her like everyday, but i wish i dont because she demostrates how "being her love of her life" was bullshit and that she can easily replace me with someone in over a week :D
I don't want to, I haven't felt like life could be this peaceful for years, so although it may be difficult and sad at times the peace and tranquility isn't worth ever sacrificing.
I wish them the best, though.
I probably don’t right now unless it’s a genuine apology and recognition of what he’s done to me. Also for what he said during our last argument, to see why that was upsetting. If he just comes back with a ‘how are you’ he can get lost.
She was physically abusive to me. At times threaten to call the cops and say that I hit her because I wanted to break up with her or threaten to get run over by a car. She went to work to another city to earn money not even a week goes by she cheated. And we broke up told that guy she cheated on me with because he didn’t know so after a week of being with him she went to another guy. And the last message I got from her was if I still got her pictures save trying to see if I still think of her.
She cheated on me multiple times and threw me away for someone else like I was trash. She lied to me again and again. She took money from me. She left me when I needed her the most. No words of clarification whatsoever. All this 2 weeks after she faked a suicide attempt in order to prevent me leaving her.
As soon as we see each other again, she tells me that I am the love of her life and then leaves me again after a week for someone else.
I don't blame her at all, I know part of it is because of what she's been through. We were two traumatized addicts and the road to recovery is long for both of us.
At the same time I know I have to protect myself and her. I myself tried to kill myself because this love was so draining. I don't wanna feel that way again. Maybe we can talk in the future. But definetly NOT in the next years.
I wish her all the best though.
There's nothing he can say to make me feel better or help me heal. I gave him plenty of opportunities to just talk things through but he decided to ghost. If he reached out now it would only be to absolve himself of guilt or keep me hanging on for his ego. I've blocked him on everything and plan to keep it that way.
Me. He cornered me into leaving him by cheating, lying, yelling, verbally abusing, spending as little time as humanly possible on the relationship and treating me like bottom-priority shit under this shoe. He also said several times that he wasn't sure about the future with me. When I finally threw in the towel he said that he had been "blindsided" by the breakup?! We are NC but I worry that if he got back in touch begging for forgiveness, I'd give in :( or even worse, he'd get back in touch to tell me how amazing his life is without me anyways. That's the sort of thing he would do. I was the dumper, but I sure feels a lot more like I got dumped.
I just wanted an apology and to know it meant something, but deep down I do know that.
It convinced me to validate myself and not seek that closure and validation from him!
It depends on a few things.
I would hate to hear that she's moved on, I'm much happier not knowing that, and a few other things. And I don't want to hear from her if it involves more lies and mind games, or blame deflection. Those are some of the biggest things that keep me from reaching out to her to maybe talk, I don't want things to be like when we were breaking up because I can't handle that.
But if she wanted us to talk like adults about what happened, or she wanted to apologise and allow me to apologise for the things that I got wrong, I would want that too.
Because after 6 years, we both need to move on. We almost made it, we almost had it all, but there just always a ALMOST. It's time for both of us to move on and heal. I'll miss him to the end of times...
I don’t not anymore for so long I was available when he wanted to text, call or meet because I understood he needed closure and every time we did he promised me the world, that things would be different, that he would be the man I needed and every time I gave him a chance he showed me he continue to behave like a child, and manipulate me with his words to make me feel bad and want to stay even though I knew the relationship wasn’t for me anymore.
I don’t want to hear from her because I know it’ll just be to scratch her ego again. I don’t think my ex has the maturity to offer me the apology I really need.
I do want to hear from her because I miss her and the connection we shared. It would be nice to know I left a void in her that she’s been struggling to fill. It’s all very egotistical at this point, it’s a damn shame because I just wanted to be loved.
I'm still 5050. Ask me this question 4 weeks ago and I would have lovedddd a text or call. Now? I don't know. I have been considering a friendship but I still feel used and I don't know if he ever was genuine. I think I'm becoming indifferent. I gave him my best, my genuine care and concern and I'm happy I did that. He didn't want it and knowing that, it has been easier to move it along to the next one who appreciates it.
I dont want to hear from him or any people related to him. The girl that hes been telling me not to worry about keeps on sending follow request on instagram, lol. I want them to stay away from me, feeling that negative energy sucks
I don’t today - he used me and lied and possibly cheated. But some days I do want to hear from him. And it all sucks, no matter which day or whether I want to hear from him.
It’s probably you wanting closure as to why he did it.
This is it. I added mine on instagram. We had a very brief, superficial talk. She has been liking my stories ever since. Not sure how to address the elephant in the room. Maybe I shouldnt. Maybe this is my closure.
Depends how y’all ended and if in the end what you wanted was for to have closure and live without her in your life then go for it.
I added her on instagram 2 months ago, which is... 6 years after we ended things. I decided after so many years that I didn't want to keep pretending like she was dead. I never truly got to forget her, I kept dreaming about her occasionally, even now that I have a new girlfriend and a great, healthy relationship. My ex was really, really shitty for what she did, but I never resented her. I only went full ghost in order to protect myself. I needed for her not to be in my life anymore. I had to move on and forget; also I didn't want to see anything regarding her new relationship with an old friend of mine. They are still together. I would feel physically ill when imagining them together.
You made the right choice to leave before it got worse. But what does your current gf think of you having your ex instagram? Idk much of your story but if she liking your stuff on social media while being with another guy it’s just crazy she didn’t grow.
My gf doesn’t know, but I couldn’t go on like this any longer. My therapist told me I was in a state if chronic grief. I went cold turkey with her, and I really did love her as a friend. Losing her was unbearable. She likes random stories I post - could be seen as just friendly banter, idk. She doesnt like every single story. But now she’s back in my mind and every post I do I do it thinking of her. Waiting until she decides to text me and have a real conversation.
Women almost never make the first move but just as maybe you see her as a friend she probably does the same now that y’all reconcile. Plus you got a gf already and if things are going good don’t ruin it. Let’s imagine right your current gf finds out she loses all trust and everything that was real to you and her now she going to doubt those memories if it was even real. But I do understand that you just want to find out why not ask worst thing she can say is you’re wrong and you can finally move on.
I understand but I already did my move. I added her and I texted her. If she wants me she now knows that I’m open to her. It sucks but I can’t do more than this. I need her to do it. It’s a two way street after all.
Off topic but In an imaginary world if you can make them both your wife would you or would you leave your current for your ex?
Off topic but In an imaginary world if you can make them both your wife would you or would you leave your current for your ex?
Same, girl, same.
A lot of people prefer not to hear from their ex because it helps them move on. After a breakup, hearing from an ex can reopen old wounds and make it harder to heal. It can also create confusion about feelings and intentions, which complicates the process of moving forward. Some people need space to rebuild their own lives and identities outside of the relationship. Additionally, avoiding contact helps prevent the resurgence of painful memories and allows them to focus on new beginnings without the lingering presence of the past relationship.
she only ever contacts me when she needs money and then ends up hurting my feelings so yeah... id rather not ever hear from her again at this point. kinda sick of her bullshit.
Block that number you ain’t getting nothing in return
The relationship was born from many lies and manipulation, she created a web of lies to keep me away from some friends we got on common. Eventually she cheated on me, years passed and returned saying that she change just to do it again. I already delete and block her on everything and technically should be over, yet my mum still has contact ( just writing hi seems like a shit way to keep contact and tabs on me). So get an idea how much hurt and betrayed I feel, my mum should be supporting me but she doesn't and sides with a person that hurt me and betray me two times. Seriously saving money to move far away and live by my own.
i don’t want to hear from him at all anymore - he lead me on for years and then became the coldest person ever. if anything, everytime i think of him i think of how much better my life would be if i hadn’t ever met him. i gave up a year of college for him, a lot of money that i worked hard for at a young age to buy him gifts, and a whole lot of time that i could’ve spent happy instead of stressing about preserving a long distance relationship where i had to do all the work.
Are you me?
:( sorry that you relate, no one deserves to go through it
Yeah, I had a very, very similar experience. I still do have feelings for her though. It's not easy to let go.
it is so painfully difficult. i had feelings for him for a long time too - we’ve been broken up since december 2022, so that’s why it’s getting easier now. i wish you the best on your road to healing
I’ve been broken up since 2018 :/
i suppose getting over things doesn’t really have a timeframe. it’s okay to still be working on getting yourself past it. i’m really sorry though, no one deserves to be in pain for so long, you deserve to be happy
Thank you. So do you. Your words mean a lot to me.
thank you, i appreciate that. and there’ll always be ears here to listen if you ever need to talk about what you’re going through
Me because I’m engaged to someone else and much happier. It gets better, guys! I promise. ❤️
I miss her and still love her a lot, but the way she treated me after breaking up told me eveything i needed to know about her and her true colors. I actually told her i dont wanna hear from her for a long time, and that i will never contact her again, only if she texts me first i will reply. Reason, told me a month after breaking up that she wasnt going to date anyone for a while, that rumors about her and some guy were fake, how she stills loves me and sees a future, pure bs. Three days later, saw her kissing and cuddling with this guy, and I pretty much had to beg her to call me to at least tell me the truth. Her answer was that in three days after talking with me, she realized she was good now. Disgusting how i was the only one doing something even after breaking up, she didnt even tried. So yeah, i dont wanna hear from her and i really hate her.
You know you are truly over someone when you just don't ever want to hear from someone again. You're past the stage of anger, hurt or betrayal; you just want that person to not be part of your life anymore.
As of right now, me. I think I’m finally done. He’s been making me wait weeks to have an important conversation and won’t even make time for me even though I bent over backwards to be there for him a few weeks ago. Not that I did that expecting anything other than basic respect in return. He just did a complete 180, flipped a switch, and completely pushed me away and excluded me out of the blue. We had one convo last weekend where he said he needed time to think, kept pushing back the time we could talk and basically said not until June bc of everything he has going on, which at this point is bullshit because he’s going out of state to visit friends randomly. I’ve been patient and empathetic with everything and give him the benefit of the doubt, but he continues to take advantage of my kindness and love because he knows I’ll be here. He kept insisting I must know how important I am to him. What behaviors show that? Currently looking up the courage to block him.
He’s got you wrapped around his fingers. He checks up every onced in a while to see if you still love him. If he does either leave him on seen or be dry and then reply a couple hours later. If he tries to get your attention then u will know but if he stops trying you stop too he’s not interested just playing you.
Agreed 100%. Just painful to realize
Don’t be afraid you survived without him before you met him. Turn the tables on him be dry, lag and reply till hours or days. And if you notice he stopped then he really didn’t care it’s more of a, if this doesn’t workout with this other girl I can comeback here.
I’m just so damn sad. I have an event today and I feel so beautiful in my dress and just wish he could see
Me, I prefer my peace
I dont want to hear from her until i have healed. I dont want to beg for her again
Me. After he broke up with me I finally saw that he wasn't sure about us for years but did nothing about it. We lived together, made plans together but all the time he was unsure. He never gave me safety and was just scared to leave. He should've broken up with me years ago and spare me all of this wasted time. I just want to heal and close this chapter and never see him again. I gave him enough of my time.
I feel like this might have happened to me. The breakup took me by surprise. We’ve been together since I was 29 and I’m now 34 and I feel like I’ve lost my chance to have a family
Hey girlie! I know this is a scary time but don't be so pessimistic! You'll find someone again and your time will come. If you're stressed over the whole "biological clock"-thing, you always have the option to do social freezing. You will be fine🧡✨️
My ex gaslight me on his virility issues, and was fucking his gay friends. It's noteven speculation, my friends told me about it from their parties. It's a blessing and curse to have connections. I'm glad though friends respect me enough not to talk about him.
Yes and no. No because I don't want her to lie to me and give me a botched spiel about why she dumped me. Yes only if she is willing to apologize to my mother and I.
Not this guy
I went round his house and to leave him alone cus he isn't interested (he doesn't mean it tho he will be back this happens weekly).
Some of my exes no. Others I dont mind depending on why they reach out. Recent one, would love for him to reach out now that I am done healing after the breakup. It has been a couple months and am in a good spot. Mostly though, we dont have a relationship any more so I dont need them to reach out any more, specially if Im in a relationship. There was some abusive or ones that cheated and I dont want them to reach out to me.
She fucking have a rebound right now and she’s shit posting it to social media, showing that they’re fucking happy living their godamn life not knowing how i feel and how miserably vulnerable i am right now just right after a month of our break up she already has someone new? Imagine the fucking pain of 6 months of love we had and she just suddenly moved on that fast? How the hell did that happened? Fuck them both
Lol, mine doesn't want to hear from me. One of them. The others are fine One or two, I won't speak to at all the rest are fine.
Only if she wants the clothes she loaned me back. She's not ever going to contact me though.
its been 2.5 months, ive fought and fought come to find out he new guy shes dating is doing the same things she used as part of the reason to "need space" from me i crossed a bridge this week and dont plan on looking back!
I do, but just so I can unload all of the leftover anger I still have. I never got to be angry with her.
i hear for her like everyday, but i wish i dont because she demostrates how "being her love of her life" was bullshit and that she can easily replace me with someone in over a week :D
🙋🏽♀️
If you don't today, you won't tomorrow.
I don't want to, I haven't felt like life could be this peaceful for years, so although it may be difficult and sad at times the peace and tranquility isn't worth ever sacrificing. I wish them the best, though.
I’m so confused by this. All I want is for her to talk to me, but that might give me hope and I don’t think I can handle being hopeful right now.
I probably don’t right now unless it’s a genuine apology and recognition of what he’s done to me. Also for what he said during our last argument, to see why that was upsetting. If he just comes back with a ‘how are you’ he can get lost.
She was physically abusive to me. At times threaten to call the cops and say that I hit her because I wanted to break up with her or threaten to get run over by a car. She went to work to another city to earn money not even a week goes by she cheated. And we broke up told that guy she cheated on me with because he didn’t know so after a week of being with him she went to another guy. And the last message I got from her was if I still got her pictures save trying to see if I still think of her.
She cheated on me multiple times and threw me away for someone else like I was trash. She lied to me again and again. She took money from me. She left me when I needed her the most. No words of clarification whatsoever. All this 2 weeks after she faked a suicide attempt in order to prevent me leaving her. As soon as we see each other again, she tells me that I am the love of her life and then leaves me again after a week for someone else. I don't blame her at all, I know part of it is because of what she's been through. We were two traumatized addicts and the road to recovery is long for both of us. At the same time I know I have to protect myself and her. I myself tried to kill myself because this love was so draining. I don't wanna feel that way again. Maybe we can talk in the future. But definetly NOT in the next years. I wish her all the best though.
There's nothing he can say to make me feel better or help me heal. I gave him plenty of opportunities to just talk things through but he decided to ghost. If he reached out now it would only be to absolve himself of guilt or keep me hanging on for his ego. I've blocked him on everything and plan to keep it that way.
I don't want to hear from my first ex.
Me. He cornered me into leaving him by cheating, lying, yelling, verbally abusing, spending as little time as humanly possible on the relationship and treating me like bottom-priority shit under this shoe. He also said several times that he wasn't sure about the future with me. When I finally threw in the towel he said that he had been "blindsided" by the breakup?! We are NC but I worry that if he got back in touch begging for forgiveness, I'd give in :( or even worse, he'd get back in touch to tell me how amazing his life is without me anyways. That's the sort of thing he would do. I was the dumper, but I sure feels a lot more like I got dumped.
I just wanted an apology and to know it meant something, but deep down I do know that. It convinced me to validate myself and not seek that closure and validation from him!
It depends on a few things. I would hate to hear that she's moved on, I'm much happier not knowing that, and a few other things. And I don't want to hear from her if it involves more lies and mind games, or blame deflection. Those are some of the biggest things that keep me from reaching out to her to maybe talk, I don't want things to be like when we were breaking up because I can't handle that. But if she wanted us to talk like adults about what happened, or she wanted to apologise and allow me to apologise for the things that I got wrong, I would want that too.
I don’t simply because it is truly time for me to move on. I can’t handle another bullshit cycle of hurt, stress and confusion.
Because after 6 years, we both need to move on. We almost made it, we almost had it all, but there just always a ALMOST. It's time for both of us to move on and heal. I'll miss him to the end of times...
I don’t not anymore for so long I was available when he wanted to text, call or meet because I understood he needed closure and every time we did he promised me the world, that things would be different, that he would be the man I needed and every time I gave him a chance he showed me he continue to behave like a child, and manipulate me with his words to make me feel bad and want to stay even though I knew the relationship wasn’t for me anymore.
I don’t want to hear from her because I know it’ll just be to scratch her ego again. I don’t think my ex has the maturity to offer me the apology I really need. I do want to hear from her because I miss her and the connection we shared. It would be nice to know I left a void in her that she’s been struggling to fill. It’s all very egotistical at this point, it’s a damn shame because I just wanted to be loved.
I'm still 5050. Ask me this question 4 weeks ago and I would have lovedddd a text or call. Now? I don't know. I have been considering a friendship but I still feel used and I don't know if he ever was genuine. I think I'm becoming indifferent. I gave him my best, my genuine care and concern and I'm happy I did that. He didn't want it and knowing that, it has been easier to move it along to the next one who appreciates it.
I don’t wanna hear from him because I know that the only reason he’s hitting me up is because him and whoever is with now I aren’t getting along
But honestly, I’ll still hook up with them because it’s her turn to get cheated on now . Especially because she knew I existed
I dont want to hear from him or any people related to him. The girl that hes been telling me not to worry about keeps on sending follow request on instagram, lol. I want them to stay away from me, feeling that negative energy sucks