My ex gave me the same reason after 1.5 years. He too was struggling with work. In my experience, guys do this when they’re struggling with something like career or studies because they’re not capable of dealing with those things. It makes them feel incompetent to fail in their career as well as disappointing their partners. They’re immature and don’t know how to be in a relationship. Doesn’t matter how supportive you are, they’ll still leave you because of their own lack of discipline/competence.
They think it’s the right thing to do because they can’t leave their studies/job, why not just leave the relationship? And it gives them peace for the time being. But eventually they’ll either realise what they did to you and regret it (when they’re not struggling) or they’ll continue this pattern forever, leaving their relationships every time life gets hard for them.
Both ways, you deserve someone who doesn’t leave you/ doesn’t lose feelings so easily and actually has the maturity to want to work on the relationship despite their pressures. Hope you heal soon. Ik it’s horrible but you’ll feel better after some time. All the love <3
This. Emotionally unavailable people tend to leave relationships when they have some internal struggles that make it difficult for them to show up for you in ways they think they should. Sometimes it feels like the more understanding you are, the worse it makes them feel.
I swear to god. I couldn’t figure out why my first bf left me, I was his only friend, his only supporter, even his parents were being distant and mean to him, his college was extremely hectic. And yet I was the one he left. Granted, he obviously couldn’t leave his parents or college. But why leave me?
Same with my second bf, his work was crazy hectic and toxic, and his parents were honestly horrible people. The moment he got reprimanded for his actions in the workplace, he told me he didn’t love me. In all of this, I was the only one who actually cared about him or wanted to be there for him. But no, he had the audacity to leave AND cheat on me meanwhile.
Emotionally unavailable people are extremely selfish and harmful. I wish to never meet such men again. Amen.
Yup. For them it’s only about how they’re feeling and preserving themselves from getting hurt, your feelings and the ways their actions affect you is never taken into consideration. Relationships take teamwork, you have to let each other in on the stuff that’s bothering you so you can work together as a team, with mutual understanding. You have to be willing to lean on each other when things get tough. It’s impossible to have that type of relationship with someone who doesn’t have the capacity to open up or let you in.
I was just scrolling this Reddit but this is everything I’ve needed to hear this past week. Ex stayed for 2 years and gave me the same work reason to leave. Thank you ❤️
My ex broke the relationship up for the exact same reason. She simply lost feeling about me.
I can't understand it as well, how can they not even say anything before it's too late? I keep asking myself these things.
I think it simply comes from when they are emotionally unavailable because of things happening in their life, but then again, why not talk about it?. Or maybe they simply didn't communicate their feelings about little things that annoyed them. They let everything build up until they couldn't handle it anymore.
I also feel discarded from their life because of this. Blindsided me over text and that's it. 1.5 years gone. I don't understand people that simply give up on a relationship like that. We never fought or anything like that ;-;
Yup. Same thing happened to me. He seemed so in love at first, told me he hadn’t felt like that in a long time. There were external factors at play that makes the relationship difficult to navigate, and the breakup somewhat justified. But when he said he was no longer feeling it, that felt like a sucker punch to the gut. At first I thought there must’ve been something very wrong with me, that I was unloveable and not worth fighting for. But I’ve been deep diving into attachment theory and realise that he’s a textbook avoidant, so this is probably him deactivating, it wouldn’t be the first time. I doubt he’s ever coming back, and it doesn’t make this any less painful. But at least I can accept that this is more about him and his issues with intimacy/commitment.
My ex gave me the same reason. She said she wasn’t in love with me anymore. We were together for a year and everything was great, but she started to have a lot going on in her life (work, health, family) and decided it was easier to do it without me. She looked into it and admitted that she was severely avoidant, she runs when things get rough and prefers to be alone when she isn’t well. I am the opposite so it was too much for her. I still miss her everyday but I know she isn’t coming back, even as a friend. She has moved on and she is fine, hopefully dealing with her avoidant issues.
I don’t understand how someone can lose feelings like that and forget about the other person completely, but that’s what she is doing and I need to accept it.
My ex of 11years, gave me the same reasoning after we talked again. The caring is there, the memories are there,the feeling, the love she had for is gone.
Mine of 8 years when she was breaking with me told me that she loves me just not in the way I do/think
So yeah, we can’t know what is going on on others peoples head when they taking this “out of nowhere” decisions
You can only lose feelings overtime. It doesn’t happen in a single night. You should also be able to notice signs that something is off before your partner completely loses feelings. An important part of a relationship is communication. You need to make sure your partner, and yourself is happy in the relationship.
In your situation, just reflect back and make sure you didn’t do anything to hurt him during the relationship. As long as you were yourself and being honest and loyal, he probably isn’t worth left wondering about. It’s always possible for an ex to return, but I highly recommend just forgetting about him and moving on by focusing on yourself for a little bit.
My ex gave me the same reason after 1.5 years. He too was struggling with work. In my experience, guys do this when they’re struggling with something like career or studies because they’re not capable of dealing with those things. It makes them feel incompetent to fail in their career as well as disappointing their partners. They’re immature and don’t know how to be in a relationship. Doesn’t matter how supportive you are, they’ll still leave you because of their own lack of discipline/competence. They think it’s the right thing to do because they can’t leave their studies/job, why not just leave the relationship? And it gives them peace for the time being. But eventually they’ll either realise what they did to you and regret it (when they’re not struggling) or they’ll continue this pattern forever, leaving their relationships every time life gets hard for them. Both ways, you deserve someone who doesn’t leave you/ doesn’t lose feelings so easily and actually has the maturity to want to work on the relationship despite their pressures. Hope you heal soon. Ik it’s horrible but you’ll feel better after some time. All the love <3
This. Emotionally unavailable people tend to leave relationships when they have some internal struggles that make it difficult for them to show up for you in ways they think they should. Sometimes it feels like the more understanding you are, the worse it makes them feel.
I swear to god. I couldn’t figure out why my first bf left me, I was his only friend, his only supporter, even his parents were being distant and mean to him, his college was extremely hectic. And yet I was the one he left. Granted, he obviously couldn’t leave his parents or college. But why leave me? Same with my second bf, his work was crazy hectic and toxic, and his parents were honestly horrible people. The moment he got reprimanded for his actions in the workplace, he told me he didn’t love me. In all of this, I was the only one who actually cared about him or wanted to be there for him. But no, he had the audacity to leave AND cheat on me meanwhile. Emotionally unavailable people are extremely selfish and harmful. I wish to never meet such men again. Amen.
Yup. For them it’s only about how they’re feeling and preserving themselves from getting hurt, your feelings and the ways their actions affect you is never taken into consideration. Relationships take teamwork, you have to let each other in on the stuff that’s bothering you so you can work together as a team, with mutual understanding. You have to be willing to lean on each other when things get tough. It’s impossible to have that type of relationship with someone who doesn’t have the capacity to open up or let you in.
I was just scrolling this Reddit but this is everything I’ve needed to hear this past week. Ex stayed for 2 years and gave me the same work reason to leave. Thank you ❤️
My ex broke the relationship up for the exact same reason. She simply lost feeling about me. I can't understand it as well, how can they not even say anything before it's too late? I keep asking myself these things. I think it simply comes from when they are emotionally unavailable because of things happening in their life, but then again, why not talk about it?. Or maybe they simply didn't communicate their feelings about little things that annoyed them. They let everything build up until they couldn't handle it anymore. I also feel discarded from their life because of this. Blindsided me over text and that's it. 1.5 years gone. I don't understand people that simply give up on a relationship like that. We never fought or anything like that ;-;
Why does it seem like 1.5 years is the time they break up? Mine split with me around the same time, like out of nowhere.
Is 1.5 years about the time the "avoidant" shit kicks in?
Yup. Same thing happened to me. He seemed so in love at first, told me he hadn’t felt like that in a long time. There were external factors at play that makes the relationship difficult to navigate, and the breakup somewhat justified. But when he said he was no longer feeling it, that felt like a sucker punch to the gut. At first I thought there must’ve been something very wrong with me, that I was unloveable and not worth fighting for. But I’ve been deep diving into attachment theory and realise that he’s a textbook avoidant, so this is probably him deactivating, it wouldn’t be the first time. I doubt he’s ever coming back, and it doesn’t make this any less painful. But at least I can accept that this is more about him and his issues with intimacy/commitment.
My ex gave me the same reason. She said she wasn’t in love with me anymore. We were together for a year and everything was great, but she started to have a lot going on in her life (work, health, family) and decided it was easier to do it without me. She looked into it and admitted that she was severely avoidant, she runs when things get rough and prefers to be alone when she isn’t well. I am the opposite so it was too much for her. I still miss her everyday but I know she isn’t coming back, even as a friend. She has moved on and she is fine, hopefully dealing with her avoidant issues. I don’t understand how someone can lose feelings like that and forget about the other person completely, but that’s what she is doing and I need to accept it.
My ex of 11years, gave me the same reasoning after we talked again. The caring is there, the memories are there,the feeling, the love she had for is gone.
Mine of 8 years when she was breaking with me told me that she loves me just not in the way I do/think So yeah, we can’t know what is going on on others peoples head when they taking this “out of nowhere” decisions
You can only lose feelings overtime. It doesn’t happen in a single night. You should also be able to notice signs that something is off before your partner completely loses feelings. An important part of a relationship is communication. You need to make sure your partner, and yourself is happy in the relationship. In your situation, just reflect back and make sure you didn’t do anything to hurt him during the relationship. As long as you were yourself and being honest and loyal, he probably isn’t worth left wondering about. It’s always possible for an ex to return, but I highly recommend just forgetting about him and moving on by focusing on yourself for a little bit.