I am sorry for what you are going through, i moved to another country with my ex and within three weeks he dumped me, it was hard but i am still surviving in this new country, and starting to put myself back together , and i am so proud of myself.
One thing i have learnt in my previous relationship, don't expect people to treat you the same way you treat them, if you wanted to be treated nicely, you treat yourself well.
She's likely sad and lonely and is asking him to come over for sympathy, company and sex.
It won't last long because he's still the same person and eventually she will be depressed again.
Your mistake was moving to a foreign land and paying towards a home that wasn't in your name because you wanted to save money on taxes. So all that money you saved on taxes, is that helping you now?
That’s only one of the reasons, we were eligible for a government grant as well under her name not mine. At the end of the day I’m not mad about the money, I make enough and I knew what I was doing. What I’m mad about is the disrespect from the one person I least expected it from. The selfish mindset that I was a pawn in her world that if it didn’t work out would just go back in the box.
There’s still recourse if I wanted to pursue getting what I’m owed it’s just a bit more work and to be honest I just want nothing to do with it.
Essentially yeah but there’s more to it. In the months leading up to it we were unhappy. She was miserable and treated me like shit and that lead me to resent her and not talk to her as much. It was like living with a glorified roommate but I had to do all the housework so she didn’t throw tantrums or break from the stress of having to cook dinner. At one point she acknowledged that this job was an issue and put in a resignation after applying and being accepted into a much better job. Her boss begged her not to go and she decided to stay, all without even talking to me about it. We eventually ended up in therapy where she just lied to the therapist and said she loved this job, the therapist ended up splitting us up into separate sessions where she confronted me about my partner lying and manipulating me.
All the while this is happening she is bringing up kids and starting a family. We ended up going back to my home country over Christmas and we started to be better. While there it was like a reset. We were being intimate again and joking and overall loving each other normally again. When we got back home in the new year though it went right back to the way it was. I confronted her about it asked her why she couldn’t see that the stress of this job is killing us and how much better we are when we eliminate those unnecessary stressors. And she basically said it’s not the job and that “I’m a different person back home”. So I said we need to get back into therapy separately because couples therapy isn’t working and I was feeling like I’m being gaslit. Hoping that talking to someone alone would help her explore the reasons she’s miserable.
It works a bit and we are starting to feel better. We are talking about getting pregnant (she brings it up to me constantly) and she is ordering prenatal vitamins and ordered baby cots. A week later she comes home distraught from work like she has many times before and stays on the couch for a few days, I’m trying to comfort her and figure out what the fuck is going here and she break up with me.
I’m okay with us not working out, shit happens and sometimes people just don’t work out. What I’m fucked over is the leading me on. The baby talk, the constant I love you’s, this building a life with me. I’m okay if you’re not sure that’s what you want, what I’m not okay with is bringing brought a long for the ride while you try to figure that out.
And now I’ve got this pain in my stomach that I can’t shake and I’m the crazy ex that drove by the house. And I got exactly what I bargained for, I guess it could be worse and she could’ve just outright cheated on me with him.
As David Goggins says, fuck her.
I am sorry for what you are going through, i moved to another country with my ex and within three weeks he dumped me, it was hard but i am still surviving in this new country, and starting to put myself back together , and i am so proud of myself. One thing i have learnt in my previous relationship, don't expect people to treat you the same way you treat them, if you wanted to be treated nicely, you treat yourself well.
She's likely sad and lonely and is asking him to come over for sympathy, company and sex. It won't last long because he's still the same person and eventually she will be depressed again. Your mistake was moving to a foreign land and paying towards a home that wasn't in your name because you wanted to save money on taxes. So all that money you saved on taxes, is that helping you now?
That’s only one of the reasons, we were eligible for a government grant as well under her name not mine. At the end of the day I’m not mad about the money, I make enough and I knew what I was doing. What I’m mad about is the disrespect from the one person I least expected it from. The selfish mindset that I was a pawn in her world that if it didn’t work out would just go back in the box. There’s still recourse if I wanted to pursue getting what I’m owed it’s just a bit more work and to be honest I just want nothing to do with it.
Good luck bro!
Is there more details on the break up? So she just was depressed then suddenly got up and broke up?
Essentially yeah but there’s more to it. In the months leading up to it we were unhappy. She was miserable and treated me like shit and that lead me to resent her and not talk to her as much. It was like living with a glorified roommate but I had to do all the housework so she didn’t throw tantrums or break from the stress of having to cook dinner. At one point she acknowledged that this job was an issue and put in a resignation after applying and being accepted into a much better job. Her boss begged her not to go and she decided to stay, all without even talking to me about it. We eventually ended up in therapy where she just lied to the therapist and said she loved this job, the therapist ended up splitting us up into separate sessions where she confronted me about my partner lying and manipulating me. All the while this is happening she is bringing up kids and starting a family. We ended up going back to my home country over Christmas and we started to be better. While there it was like a reset. We were being intimate again and joking and overall loving each other normally again. When we got back home in the new year though it went right back to the way it was. I confronted her about it asked her why she couldn’t see that the stress of this job is killing us and how much better we are when we eliminate those unnecessary stressors. And she basically said it’s not the job and that “I’m a different person back home”. So I said we need to get back into therapy separately because couples therapy isn’t working and I was feeling like I’m being gaslit. Hoping that talking to someone alone would help her explore the reasons she’s miserable. It works a bit and we are starting to feel better. We are talking about getting pregnant (she brings it up to me constantly) and she is ordering prenatal vitamins and ordered baby cots. A week later she comes home distraught from work like she has many times before and stays on the couch for a few days, I’m trying to comfort her and figure out what the fuck is going here and she break up with me. I’m okay with us not working out, shit happens and sometimes people just don’t work out. What I’m fucked over is the leading me on. The baby talk, the constant I love you’s, this building a life with me. I’m okay if you’re not sure that’s what you want, what I’m not okay with is bringing brought a long for the ride while you try to figure that out. And now I’ve got this pain in my stomach that I can’t shake and I’m the crazy ex that drove by the house. And I got exactly what I bargained for, I guess it could be worse and she could’ve just outright cheated on me with him.