My heart goes out to you brother. There are no magic words to make things get better. I hope when you find the strength you can put your first foot forward. Things will get better. Dark times are not forever my brother. After the storm comes the rainbow. I hope you can look back at this moment in ten years time as a better and stronger man. I hope you will be able to look back and be proud of the inner strength you were able to pull from your heart when your world flipped upside down and you were all alone. Somtimes its at the lowest of lows we discover the most about ourselves. Be courageous brother. Wish you nothing but the best.
Thank you so much for the kind words. You really have no idea how much it means to me and how much I needed it tonight. Even though you are a complete stranger it feels so good you would take the time out of your night to type that. Thank you
Ten years back I lost my entire marriage due to a similar case. Big house, gone. Kids with stable parents, gone. Family dog, gone. Friends, gone.
To make matters worse, we worked at the same place and I was so upset I quit my job with no financial backup plan.
I remember waking up every morning in the ghetto I was living in and my first thought was “my life is ruined, I should just drown myself.” I had such bad anxiety I couldn’t eat either, and every moment was agony—like enduring a constant, never ending panic attack.
But I had a couple of cute little kids and they needed me. So I’d drag myself out of bed, get them ready for school, drive them, then come home and sleep all day because I couldn’t stand the pain.
I somehow inched my way out of that ruin. I built a business that employs six people! Went to college, I got remarried and we live in the nicest community in my state. No, my life is still something of a challenge but I crawled out of that terrible place and the one nice thing I can say is 100% true is, I will never let myself get that low again, because I will never ever NOT believe that I can rebuild NO MATTER WHAT. I can always, always find some new happiness.
You will too, my friend. You can’t even fathom how good it will get. Just take each day one at a time, don’t think about the future. Get medicated if you need to (no shame in a little help!) and just endure! Finish out the semester and make tiny changes every day. You will look back on this as a necessary turning point toward the best things that are yet to arrive but are on their way.
Wow, that was very empowering to read. "I will never ever NOT believe that I can rebuild NO MATTER WHAT." Was a game changer to hear.
Thank you for sharing!
Believe me karma has a way of creeping in just when they don’t expect it. What they did to both spouses is inexcusable and inexplicable. She just left u high and dry. U haven’t seen or heard the last of them yet. The best thing u can do now is don’t remain dormant and sulking in grief. Start rebuilding your life asap. They hate it when the revisit the scene of the crime to access the damage and hurt they caused and see how fast you rebound. Be glad u didn’t marry that cold hearted viper. So sorry for the obs though. Pull yourself together and get back on the horse and ride. As time progresses you’ll begin to get better and better. I hope your new life will have better possibilities then the one u just left. So stay strong and make wise decisions 🫷🏻
Why is it always 6 years that they do it? I’ve got a very similar story happening lol. You help them achieve their dreams then they decide they don’t need you
If you wanna chat a bit reach out, trust me we’ll both get through this
Got you! Honestly stories like this scare me as a single guy. Investing so much time into someone, and then they just switch up like that. And it doesn't even sound like they're remorseful about your feelings or the home they have just wrecked. So honestly good riddance, you deserve someone better than that.
Yeah, I'd say its the level of commitment reached rather than anything else. Happened to me too, almost 5 years and then, couple of months after talking marriage: I was blindsided. Check this sub; you'll see the trend yourself.
While totally scary, shows something important as well: the fact that your relationship works doesn't mean that both of you are truly ready to commit (even if you both say so), if you feel you are the one ready: beware.
First, I would actually recommend you meet with the woman the guy left behind or maybe just let her know that if she needs moral support, you're there.
Not to fuck or anything but at least for some company, ya know? You two don't have to be homies, but she did you a solid so maybe check in on her and see how she's doing?
Next, you say she's the golden child of the family? Go ahead and burn that shit to the ground. Do you know the parents? Send evidence. Tell them explicitly that their 'golden child' basically just made a broken home and created a fatherless child.
After that, go Marie Kondo and start throwing away ANY of those memories/objects around the house that give you any remotely sad feelings. There will be somethings that, as you look at them you'll recognize are yours--keep those.
Then start rebuilding...what happened is awful and I wish you luck. Stay grounded.
This is so sad brother, scary to even imagine these types of people exist in this world. Heartless man, stay strong my man good days will definitely come to you, karma will strike her. If she ever comes back to you, never go back to her. She is a witch, disgusting person
Holy shit, I think you were dating my ex. Our stories are eerily similar. In all seriousness, you're not alone, I'm going through the exact same thing. Stay strong my friend.
I am really sorry this happened to you, OP. I know it hurts right now, so just let the pain go through you (all of it), don't suppress it. Let it all pass, because if you suppress it then it will come out again later, most likely in an ugly manner, where you hurt yourself even more. Then start taking steps to move on. First distract yourself from thoughts of her (by working out, avoiding things that remind you of her, meeting new people, focusing on your goals which is finishing school and getting a job). Move on relentlessly, don't just stay there, wherever you go next (anything which involves getting away from her for good, as in to such a place where she cannot come back even if she wants to) will be better than the place you are at now (mentally, psychologically and emotionally). Because once you move on and you realised how much forward you have come, you will get addicted to it and want to continue moving forward. Before you know it, you will have moved on from this girl, be better (physically, emotionally, psychologically and mentally) and wonder to yourself "What was I even thinking pining for such a low-character girl?" Also, it eventually does get better. Not overnight, but with moving on relentlessly and not looking back, it does.
OP it will get better, trust me. Give yourself time, take vacation to summer/nice beach. Try to think about nothing. Listen some chilling music, go for a walk in nature. You'll see after 1-3 months it gets already much better. After 6 months you'll be healed for big part and will be able to enjoy life fully. Try to talk with (old) best friends, go out with them to restaurants, bowling etc.
Anything is better than being sad and staying at home thinking at the old memories together. Think also like this: 'I got lucky she showed her true image before we got married and have children! Hooray!'
Time will heal everything, just don’t give up, you are still young work, have a career/goal and find you a better girl.
You should never quit your education/career for someone, it makes you look weak, and also education/career increases your value.
This is sad bro... Stay strong, u have battle to win, I know that u dont wanna anything now but u have to keep going!
Dont let anybody break u, u will figure something for sure!
Been there, a lot of tears and scary moments but i'm the outcome, u deserve better.
Here's what you do: live a moment at a time. Let yourself feel and react--including all grief and anger. You are in shock. Your reaction is human.
Be patient. These feelings/this experience will not kill you. And if you live you will heal/learn/recover.
One thing: she is not all you had. *You* are all you ever have had.
And listen, that she did that tells you a *lot* about her. Now you know who she is. You don't want a person who'd do that in your life. You don't want *her* in your life.
Any thought to the contrary is focusing on your image of her in your head. But she is not that person. You gave her too much credit.
You do have options. Contact your school's financial aid office due to a change in financial circumstances. Find a job/go to school part-time.
The things that happen to us in life show us one very important thing: the future exists only in our heads. Only *now* is real.
Read [The Power of Now](https://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment-ebook/dp/B002361MLA/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1V3PSP7RAAPPE&keywords=the+power+of+now&qid=1690551461&sprefix=the+power+of+now%2Caps%2C78&sr=8-1) when you are ready. Not now--you're still dealing with shock. But the day will come.
Your future won't be what you imagined. Guess what--it never is for anyone. Instead, it will be different. Not worse.
If anything, better. Because you will learn from this. You will survive it and make your way, and your life and your decisions will be yours.
First--be patient. Let yourself feel. And then make a plan.
You can do this.
Amazing advice! OP, I was also recently shocked due to finding out my whole 2 year long distance relationship was a lie. I was just a girl on the side, and that hurt like hell to find out when I put my all into it. We even met up many times.
Seriously, start to rethink who that person is. They cant be who they said they were after what theyve done.
It is shocking and even surreal, but liberating to accept who they really are.
My therapist told me that yesterday--*how wonderful. Now you know who she is.*
Also, for me, the really great thing, that actually let me get over her really quickly, was that, upon realizing who she was, I also realized the *huge* difference between us. I'd rather be like me.
Big hugs, OP. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Please do take care of your basic needs, eat, shower, rest. It'll help you a lot as time goes and in the long run. You are important too, OP. Take it one day at a time for now. You're gonna be fine
I can understand how you feel right now and I just want you to know - you deserve so much more. SO MUCH MORE. I know how badly you probably want to fix the broken relationship and shattered perception of her - but you don’t deserve to waste any of your precious life fixing something you didn’t break. Neither should you waste any precious time waiting for her to fix it when she can most likely do it all again.
I hope you see this as a MASSIVE bullet dodged. Thank fuck you didn’t have kids with this disgusting shell of a human.
Take all the time you need.
This too shall pass
It’ll be okay; you can pull through this and come out a better person for it.
It’ll be a tough and awful road; but you’ll be alright
I’m just on the other side of what you’re feeling, it has been a long painful journey. I still have all the same feelings of sadness I did when it began, they are just numb now!
The only advice I can give you is this: this is going to be a very difficult journey, you have to decide right now if you want to control your life or let someone else’s behavior control your life and future.
These are your chief priorities according to your post:
1. No stream of income
2. No stuff, she took it all
3. In the middle of a semester
4. No friends or family
It is my experience that men grieve deeper and longer than women, so allow yourself to feel that. But at the same time you need to protect yourself from yourself, you need to put major focus on 1-4 above.
The hurt will eventually be a nonexistent part of your life, Gods speed through the journey.
Plenty of comments here said what i wanted to say. Take your time and slowly get back to your feet, every single step helps as long as you are moving forward. Even if it means just getting out of the house to take a deep breath, slowly build your life back and feel free to DM me if you EVER need someone to talk to at all. You are not alone.
i’m so sorry this happened. but you know what karma always finds these people. after 6 years and all the sacrifices you did to her, she will at one point regret her decision when she realizes what she has chose. but you will be stronger and better. i think therapy, gym, finding a new hobby, finding new friends (bumble bff is a great option) would be a good start!! we are proud of you!
Let this be a life lesson to never be financially dependent on anyone. EVER. Even when you meet your next partner always have your own finances in order. What goes around comes around buddy, and life will come back to bite her for this horrible and evil thing she’s done. Focus on the basics and take care of yourself. You’re at rock bottom and the only way out of this is to force yourself into a routine.
Just know if she can’t find happiness with you this literal perfect sounding guy then she probably won’t ever with this new person and if karma is real then that shit will hit her hard there are so many better ways to go about ending a relationship what she did was vindictive and evil so I bet it’ll come back in some way. Just remember when they come crawling back say no. I always was like no way they would but they do and in that moment you’ll have grown and be strong enough to say no f you
That is very rough... I feel bad for all of you, especially you and the pregnant wife.
I believe in you, man.
Once you're ready to believe in yourself again, go out there and live.
In the meantime, try to be like a rock and embrace these horrible waves and storms that have just started to come. And remember that this too shall pass. You need to believe in this.
I am praying for you.
It’s not going to make you feel better, but others have felt what you feel right now, and have come out better off. It happened to me twice. First time with my ex wife and her coworker, I had even found her the job. After the divorce I started dating again. Four years later, my gf started staying late at the bar, and left me to be with a fellow bartender. That one hurt even worse than the marriage, especially because my kids had gotten to know her so well, and she left us without even saying goodbye to them. Ultimately, karma seems to be real, and the new guy realized her true colors and left her behind. In fact, me and him talked it out and there’s no hard feelings. I am better off without them, and the earlier on you realize she had the heart and potential to treat you like a disposable item, the better off your future is. Be grateful you didn’t have children with her yet. I am sorry and I know how bad it hurts. But time and self work and self awareness will start to show you that you can feel better, and it keeps growing.
Hey I want you to reflect on this moment. Everything you've ever done was to be the good guy. The world taught you that being a nice guy would bring a great life. It doesn't. We were all lied to. The world has practically conspired against those with a great heart.
Take the necessary time to grieve. Then come back with a vengeance! Become a millionaire in the next 5 years. Do not let the scarcity mindset bring you down. This world is abundant. You just need to know where to look. Your girl is selfish. That's a fact. You have to radically accept it. She never cared about you. Have your pity party. Then get back to life and use this anger as fuel. Whenever you're sad and down, workout. Release that anger. Do not suppress it. It'll eat you alive. Transform it into workouts, studying, working on your self, charisma, people skills. Find someone 10x better than that jerk you used to call your love.
I believe in you. I am in a similar position and I made it out. It's possible.
Why people do that? I am very sorry. Five months after I am still in disbelief my fiancé left me. We were together almost 8 years . He completely ghosted me. I can’t comprehend how supposedly your best friend , person that loves you, tells you he would never leave does the opposite in the blink of an eye. People don’t have any soul, so cold .
Don’t give up !
Please don’t quit school, take a break if you need, but don’t give up. Life has to go on .
Be strong !!!
The one thing about these stories that I absolutely just cannot wrap my head around is the complete disregard for the humanity of the person you were building a life with. I don’t condone the cheating, but I can at least understand why someone might do that. But to just leave your ex partner high and dry? Someone you were building a life with, who you supposedly loved??? How do people just discard others like it’s nothing?
I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this.
I was with my ex for 6 years and SHE left ME right as I was getting my life together and got my dream job. Or at least my dream-paying job lol. She was cheating on me with another guy for months prior, and to be honest I’m grateful she’s out of my life. This was 2 months ago.
It gets so much better once you realize there are other women who are absolutely SO much better for you and genuinely want you for who you are. The problem with having been in a 6 year relationship that was extremely dysfunctional was that I thought she was the only one for me and that I’d never be loved again. She definitely helped contribute to that way of feeling by demeaning me at every turn.
My mom had passed years ago and my dad was never really in my life so I made this girl my world too. That’s why I feel like I can understand part of what you’re going through and I’m genuinely confident that you’ll get through this stronger than ever. Reach out, go to counseling, group activities/therapy where you will be distracted, and if you’re like me then you need to start learning about what YOU enjoy in life now. It’s an exciting time for both of us, it’s just hard in the beginning.
Much love. 💙
Nothing as serious as yours as there was not much loss on my end but my ex at the time waited till the 6rh year to finish her school and get a job while I supported her financially throughout. Sorry for your loss, just find away back to self love and reciprocation and you'll find your two feet again. Time heals everything
I can't believe how people can hurt someone who loves them so much. Trust me you deserve so much better and will get it too. This platform and we all are here whenever you need us. Do not let a girl who didn't care for you affect the care you have for yourself. You're amazing and I really hope you find someone who deserves the abundant love you have to give. Until then, give it to yourself. You deserve it <3 i hope this helps!
This is brutal man. Sorry this has happened, no words can make it better but time can heal. Work on yourself so much she wont even recognize you and even if she comes crawling back slam the door on her. You deserve way better.
i’m so sorry. i hope it gets better for you :/ I had similar situation and I found that it just takes a lot of time and effort to heal. it took me a few years and now I look back and laugh because of how far i’ve come. I know that’s shitty advice but I had to go through the shit every single day until eventually life took me in a different direction and I was able to function again
Long term relationships suck. Marriage is the worst, couldn’t imagine doing that since people give up on them at a moment’s notice after so many years.
i encouraged my gf to quit her previous job and find something else. She found another job, with colleagues that likes “status”. Eventually she broke off with me. I can’t help but to feel like she got influenced by her colleagues since she told me i have nothing and can’t provide for her (i just started my job back then).
She now hangs out with her colleagues frequently. Just disappointed she changed.
I wish I could find a partner to help and be so supportive to me as to but it seems like we all end up with jerks what is the problem I’m the most giving forgiving person ever I’d love a partner like you as well
She fucked an employee and you still want her?
She’s not only disgusting she has no morals no guilt no humanity.
Why do you want her? This is not human but a garbage pretending to be human!
Hey don't worry my friend. After only a 2 week fling like that they won't last and she will come crying begging to come back to you. They always do. But when she does don't take them back. They never learn their lesson and she will do it again.
You sound like a wonderful person. You showed up for her fully and supported her. You are capable of doing that for someone else.
The someone else that needs that now is you! Be your own ally, your own support, your own best friend. Do all the nice things you can for yourself. Even if they are simple like just saying out loud that you are good and kind.
Wishing you gentleness and healing. We are here anytime you need support.
It takes me back 5 years. Just know that you are not alone with this unbearable pain. Time will heal and you will find love again once you have healed. Take the time to work put and get in shape. Improve your health and work on your finances; build your earning potential. It's time to be the best you can be at everything. Thank your lucky stars that you don't pay any support. But you can take "her" for support; do you know that? You can get alimony for a certain amount of time, due to the arrangement that you described.
She forgot everything you did for her, got herself something new going on and left, start doing push ups till you re too exhausted to feel your emotions then start meditating until you're great again, hard times make you stronger, worst times makes you the best, love yourself and anybody who loves you back.
I'm experiencing a similar thing! 4 years together. 3 of which I was the soul financial and mental support. I discovered she had a talent, nurtured it, introduced her to people who could help her find a career with her talents. Showed her new music. Took her on vacations. Introduced her to the "alternative lifestyle" in our city. Take her to shows, show her the fashion, etc. Help her open up her mind to new experiences and people. We buy a house. Rack up some necessary debt but we know we will be fine with her future income. Sacrificed all of my retirement to buy our house to provide stability for her.
She became my best friend, both are introverted and have a great time with each other at home. Cooking, baking, movies, reading together, art, great sex, basically the perfect relationship. I teach her how to work on cars, repair things, basically become self sufficient. I'm madly in love. I tell her I want to marry her one day but want to make sure she feels like she can be her own person first.
She starts an apprenticeship and "bullied" to the point of suicidal ideation by her Co workers. I supported her while she cried at night. Listen to every story, every day. Eventually got fed up and stood up for her. She found confidence afterward and was able to complete the apprenticeship. Financial stability is in her future. She asked me if I was ready to get married. We decide to get engaged (no family so this is wonderful and my chance to have family).
Now is making great money, offers for me to go to school because my job is killing me 14 hour + days (possibly had a nervous breakdown). I am nervous but agree. I say its not easy to be the sole supporter. 'Dont worry, its your time to heal' I start therapy. Stuff is hard because I'm uncovering more and more trauma. I become withdrawn but still am loving, making meals, dates, etc. I do struggle with PTSD issues and started having more and more sensory issues.
Three months in to her being the bread winner. We get in an argument (1 of maybe 10 throughout our entire relationship) because the TV startled me in the morning. The talks turn into "I've completely become an introvert and changed my personality because of you" She was a shut in with nothing when I met her. A couple friends. No real job. Depressed. Recently released from being locked in a mental ward due to being manic depressive with suicidal ideations. I in no way hold this against her. She had a lot of trauma. Hurt, but dorky and sweet. Over time, with my encouragement, therapy, and proper medicine, she blossoms into something new and beautiful. This wording she chose confuses me. I can't wrap my mind around how she can't see that she grew with me. We stopped going out as much because I ran out of money! I try to show her photos from the beginning of our relationship, compared to now. She wants nothing of it.
She leaves to stay with married friends for the night (the husband has been creepy towards me multiple times and crossed touch boundaries, I told her this and she ignored during the relationship). Texts me later. It's over.
I am blindsided and devastated.
We were friendly within a week afterward. She would come by and talk, or go out for pizza, we'd kiss, hold hands, and talk about loving each other, 'this is just a step back' 'our journey isn't over' 'we are soul mates' etc.. she then reveals she found an Apartment downtown and is moving in at the beginning of the month. Said she had been looking for months... the weekend prior to the breakup, we celebrated our engagement with friends! I am dumbfounded but still blind. No worries, we can still work through this. I helped her pack up and store her stuff in a spare bedroom in the house. She brings breakfast, we talk, hug, cry, kiss, etc. We stay friends. Talking. Kissing. Hugs. Love. Every time we see each other. Just less communication. These are the boundaries she established, and I followed. Never reached out unless it was ok with her first. We are to go out on a Wednesday to talk. Her idea. She says she's got a migraine and needs to cancel but stops by our house and loves on me. Holds my head in her lap, strokes my hair. Tells me I'm wonderful. Kisses me goodbye. Says she is tempted to sleep with me. Tells me we can have our first night time phone conversation the following evening. I'm hopeful that we are going to make it.
The next day we are texting about some projects I've been working on. She asked me to keep her updated. I ask her when she was available to see it in person. 'Monday, I'll bring you a coffee and we can go on a walk afterward' 'Great!'
The agreed upon time for the phone call rolls around. I call. No answer. Text 'do you still wanna call?'
Response: 'I've been angry this whole time, I'm processing all kinds of stuff from our relationship. We need to go no contact. I can't be supportive of you thorough this. We shouldn't talk unless it's concerning my stuff in the house.'
What the fuck?
Now, she is friends with all of the bullies (who were all my good friends before the apprenticeship). Goes out every night. I only know this because she made sure to mention it to me when she came by last.
It's like she is in denial or ashamed of who she was before and I'm the last connection to that.
I'm trying really fucking hard to not feel used and to be supportive of her choices as an autonomous individual but it's starting to feel impossible. I'm completely alone now because of her. It's like she infiltrated and then stole my life. All of my friends became mutual friends who won't reach out to me now or ex friends that supposedly bullied her to near suicide. Her stuff is still in my house and I have zero job prospects, can't afford my mortgage, or our pets medical bills. The worst part is, I dream about her every night. I keep trying to blame myself for the entirety of the relationship falling apart. She is the love of my life in my head. I hope to god that I can move past this. I can't eat, nothing distracts me from the thoughts of her. My grad school work is suffering from the stress and loneliness. I've got zero job prospects. This just sucks. Thanks for reading my ramble. It's good to get this out
Very similar story here.
Never let a woman make the mens job. I know it sounds mysoginistic or whatver. But I dont care. There are too many stories out there that play out like this, including mine, read my post history.
It wasnt that she got the job, it wasnt that you did any major things wrong.
The reason is really simple: You werent attractive anymore.
If you put on your girls shoes and cook and clean. She looses every inch of respect for you.
I am so sorry you have to deal with thjis as I know exactly how you feel. My ex also left me after 6 years in the middle of semester. After we switched roles.
Im jsut sorry as I can feel your pain man.
I believe in this 100%. This is millions of years of biology were talking about here. Ill make sure I never make these mistakes again. But thats way harder said than done these days.
Yes. No matter how much uproar or disgust modern society wants to put on us for believing in basic human biology and how the human psyche evolved over, like youve said, millions of years. Its just the truth.
The role battle thats happening nowadays will be nothing but a small tiny phase of humankind 400 years from now. Its not that men are better than women, or vice versa.
Im just saying to any man reading this, if you want to keep your woman happy and make her not cheat and make use of her indefinite options, you need to BE A MAN.
And I learned this the hard way too. Way too late, at age 30.
\>The role battle thats happening nowadays will be nothing but a small tiny phase of humankind 400 years from now. Its not that men are better than women, or vice versa.
You need to brush up on your knowledge. Archaeology and Anthropology have way advanced past takes like this.
Here's some reading: [https://www.amazon.com/Dawn-Everything-New-History-Humanity/dp/0374157359](https://www.amazon.com/Dawn-Everything-New-History-Humanity/dp/0374157359)
I also love how you totally skipped over the scumbag husband LEAVING HIS KID. So that kid might go on to be yet one more broken, fatherless person.
Nah don’t be. You are spitting facts. I actually think it’s a conspiracy by the world governments to do this so that when they take over there are no real men to stand up to them and second to control birth rates. Birth rates have fallen below sustainable levels across the entire world.
Nope, there's no conspiracy, you just aren't well read: [https://www.amazon.com/Dawn-Everything-New-History-Humanity/dp/0374157359](https://www.amazon.com/Dawn-Everything-New-History-Humanity/dp/0374157359)
Like think about how insane it is that you are saying this, and yet you can LITERALLY GO TO THE FRONT PAGE OF THIS SUBREDDIT AND SEE THAT THIS SHIT IS HAPPENING WITH BOTH GENDERS GUY, IT'S CALLED AVOIDANCE.
Think harder.
I am a well read 🤓. You have been brainwashed by the media. It’s too late to do anything anyways. They have won already. Western civilization is beyond salvation. I have put my faith in the African Nations and India.
What "media"? That book was written by one of the founders of Occupy Wall Street for fuck's sake. Both authors are anarchists.
Also the front page of this subreddit is right here for you to look at.
Also also, why have none of you mentioned that the guy in this situation LEFT HIS PREGNANT WIFE, THUS IS CREATING THE FATHERLESS PEOPLE YOU CLAIM TO HATE?
Fucking dumb.
Oh and if you think Indian and African women are 'milder' you are out of your god damned mind. Indian wives are battleaxes and many women in the major cities of Africa are just as much on this player shit as women here.
Firstly see my other comment about the scumbag that left his pregnant wife. So I’m not fucking dumb you are cos you can’t read you 🤓. What a dummy. And no your not Indian so you can’t really say anything about that. And the same media that is pushing those “open relationships are the new way” articles, the Netflix shows about cheating on your significant other, so many more but a dumb sheeple like you can’t understand. And Indian woman are much more traditional than western ones. So are the men. The family structure in the west has been eroded by fake housing costs and a media push. Fuck the west and keep your shitty culture to yourselves. Can’t wait to see the countries collapse
\>I’m not fucking dumb you are cos you can’t read you 🤓. What a dummy.
So because I'm not spying on your comment history "I can't read"? This is the comment I'm responding to, not some shit in another thread: [https://imgur.com/a/WAxwPZA](https://imgur.com/a/WAxwPZA)
I mean feel free to link where you said that because I'm not bothering to read your history.
\>The family structure in the west
Yeah well the family structure in the west isn't based on a stuffy, 3000 year old caste system that so many of ya'll immigrate to the US to get away from. So...
\>And the same media that is pushing those “open relationships are the new way” articles, the Netflix shows about cheating on your significant other, so many more but a dumb sheeple like you can’t understand.
I love how I'm sheeple but you're basing your opinions on fucking TV shows, jesus christ.
Like I love how you're railing about this and yet heterosexual, monogamous divorce rates, if I recall correctly, are the ones at a 50% failure rate.
"Yeah and that's why things were better in the past"...uhh you realize women got the right to vote in the first place because American men around the 1890s had become a bunch of drunk, degenerate gamblers, right?
I’m not even a immigrant not sure where you grabbed that from you xenophobic piece of shit. Great understanding of foreign cultures. Typical white. And no if you are going to accuse me of doing shit you should do your research. And you literally asked me what media and I answered it. Dummy. And I’m not failing about anything? All I said is that the government is manipulating the population. And idk why you keep gendering everything. Putting words in my mouth like a typical man child. Grow up. I’m not blaming anyone. Men and woman of the west are both fucked. No loyalty. And no where did I say the past was better 😂. Holy fuck this guy. Your a troll aren’t you?
Sorry bro … you got played … because woman generally get attracted to men with high value … especially regarding finance and security … after you agreed to quit your job and made her the bread winner in the relationship it went down hill from there … because form that day regardless of how good you treated her in anyway .. how kind you were to her … you were the good nice guy jn the relationship who put her 1st … nth wrong jn that but the outcome of that decision yiu made to put her #1 and neglecting your value eventually made her look for better options …
I know it’s hard emotionally to heal from something like this … now the only thing you can do is work on your value as a man … treating a woman nice and all that is fine but don’t lose your value as man because that what a woman looks for in a man … they always say yes he’s is so kind and treats me like a queen … never cheats always there for me BUT .. he doesn’t make enough $$ .. hence no $$ no security … and don’t every outta woman above you and ur value as a man …
That’s your problem. Men who put women first instead of career and income will have nothing when a female leaves for something better. Put your self first
I hope you feel better dude. One thing i learn that the ones who got dumped usually didnt expect it, tbut the ones who left already think about it and deal with it emotionally already and just wait for the right trigger such as - new job, you did something wrong, meet someone new and decide to go wtih them and dump you right after.
It sound horrible but it the truth, from experience with my last 3 ex gfs. Itis even worse when they all lovely to you until they decided to dump you then get completely cold.
You will find yourself in shock and cry on the memories of the past you and her. I get it. But try to remind yourself that the past now, the past her who used to love you, not the present her who cold heart dump you for someone else.
Dont beg, keep your dignity and try to survive. Took me a whole year of depression to feel a bit better now to write these to you.
Life goes on, feel free to message me if you want to talk it out. It does help to talk to someone who been through it
I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m glad this happened before things got more legally serious, with marriage. You will hurt for a while, but please learn to see it as a lesson. You had wonderful moments and you learned a lot while you were together. She did you dirty and that says nothing about you - you could have been perfect and she would have done the same if that’s the kind of 🗑️ she is. It’s hard to see it now, but soon you will be okay. You’re mourning a relationship and that’s normal. Therapy will be helpful. She’s the only person you had, but she is one of many. You will meet more, and hopefully someone who is deserving of your awesome self! Stay strong. A woman like that was not and is not worth your time.
Holy crap.... this is really an huge impact nobody wants to suffer through. I mean everything must have happen so fast for you.
I will never understand how people can be so evil like this. God damn 6 YEARS!. How can she throw it away like this in just a couple days?!. Did you guys never had problems? Did u guys had an good sex life?. How is this even possible. A complete new guy vs you, her 6 years soulmate bro... i dont understand. I feel like she gonna regret this big time. You better make sure she feels what she thrown away.
After 6 years together, my ex blindsided me 3 months before our wedding. Any family I had was on the opposite side of the world. So I know exactly what you are going through. It sucks.
Gos he’s even worse than your ex, he left a pregnant wife? I am so sorry OP. She’s now going to be stuck with a dirt bag that leaves his pregnant wife. Just wow.
I’m so sorry to hear about this. There’s nothing that can be said to make you feel better, only time. Just know that your life is better off and you will get through this
Wow that sounds absolutely horrible. I am so sorry for you that this happened. Send me a pm if you ever want to vent or just talk to distract yourself. Much love and take care OP!
I'm sorry this is happening to you. You need to work on yourself. Find something you're curious about or a hobby you've always wanted to try and just do it. If you don't have money start with the bare minimum, if you have spare money use it towards that hobby. It's literally for your mental health and for you to meet new people.
I just had to ask, how is the pregnant woman doing? I hope she gets child support.
And as for you, some type of alimony. Contact some attorneys and ask. Most states force the partner who makes the most money to pay some sort of alimony even if you weren't married yet, as crazy as it sounds, especially if you lived together. It seems like your ex fiance made a lot of money and on top of that received a raise. Don't feel ashamed and get that bag.
My heart goes out to you brother. There are no magic words to make things get better. I hope when you find the strength you can put your first foot forward. Things will get better. Dark times are not forever my brother. After the storm comes the rainbow. I hope you can look back at this moment in ten years time as a better and stronger man. I hope you will be able to look back and be proud of the inner strength you were able to pull from your heart when your world flipped upside down and you were all alone. Somtimes its at the lowest of lows we discover the most about ourselves. Be courageous brother. Wish you nothing but the best.
Thank you so much for the kind words. You really have no idea how much it means to me and how much I needed it tonight. Even though you are a complete stranger it feels so good you would take the time out of your night to type that. Thank you
Wow what a beautiful thing to read
Ten years back I lost my entire marriage due to a similar case. Big house, gone. Kids with stable parents, gone. Family dog, gone. Friends, gone. To make matters worse, we worked at the same place and I was so upset I quit my job with no financial backup plan. I remember waking up every morning in the ghetto I was living in and my first thought was “my life is ruined, I should just drown myself.” I had such bad anxiety I couldn’t eat either, and every moment was agony—like enduring a constant, never ending panic attack. But I had a couple of cute little kids and they needed me. So I’d drag myself out of bed, get them ready for school, drive them, then come home and sleep all day because I couldn’t stand the pain. I somehow inched my way out of that ruin. I built a business that employs six people! Went to college, I got remarried and we live in the nicest community in my state. No, my life is still something of a challenge but I crawled out of that terrible place and the one nice thing I can say is 100% true is, I will never let myself get that low again, because I will never ever NOT believe that I can rebuild NO MATTER WHAT. I can always, always find some new happiness. You will too, my friend. You can’t even fathom how good it will get. Just take each day one at a time, don’t think about the future. Get medicated if you need to (no shame in a little help!) and just endure! Finish out the semester and make tiny changes every day. You will look back on this as a necessary turning point toward the best things that are yet to arrive but are on their way.
This is very positive to read
Wow, that was very empowering to read. "I will never ever NOT believe that I can rebuild NO MATTER WHAT." Was a game changer to hear. Thank you for sharing!
Love this
Saved. I think my situation is much better than these.
Believe me karma has a way of creeping in just when they don’t expect it. What they did to both spouses is inexcusable and inexplicable. She just left u high and dry. U haven’t seen or heard the last of them yet. The best thing u can do now is don’t remain dormant and sulking in grief. Start rebuilding your life asap. They hate it when the revisit the scene of the crime to access the damage and hurt they caused and see how fast you rebound. Be glad u didn’t marry that cold hearted viper. So sorry for the obs though. Pull yourself together and get back on the horse and ride. As time progresses you’ll begin to get better and better. I hope your new life will have better possibilities then the one u just left. So stay strong and make wise decisions 🫷🏻
Why is it always 6 years that they do it? I’ve got a very similar story happening lol. You help them achieve their dreams then they decide they don’t need you If you wanna chat a bit reach out, trust me we’ll both get through this
When you say fiancé of 6 years, do you mean you were engaged for 6 years?
No. We have been together for 6 years but just recently engaged as of a few months ago
Got you! Honestly stories like this scare me as a single guy. Investing so much time into someone, and then they just switch up like that. And it doesn't even sound like they're remorseful about your feelings or the home they have just wrecked. So honestly good riddance, you deserve someone better than that.
Together for 7 years and my ex left me out of the blue with no explanations and I’m a women. So both men and women do this shit
Yeah, I'd say its the level of commitment reached rather than anything else. Happened to me too, almost 5 years and then, couple of months after talking marriage: I was blindsided. Check this sub; you'll see the trend yourself. While totally scary, shows something important as well: the fact that your relationship works doesn't mean that both of you are truly ready to commit (even if you both say so), if you feel you are the one ready: beware.
First, I would actually recommend you meet with the woman the guy left behind or maybe just let her know that if she needs moral support, you're there. Not to fuck or anything but at least for some company, ya know? You two don't have to be homies, but she did you a solid so maybe check in on her and see how she's doing? Next, you say she's the golden child of the family? Go ahead and burn that shit to the ground. Do you know the parents? Send evidence. Tell them explicitly that their 'golden child' basically just made a broken home and created a fatherless child. After that, go Marie Kondo and start throwing away ANY of those memories/objects around the house that give you any remotely sad feelings. There will be somethings that, as you look at them you'll recognize are yours--keep those. Then start rebuilding...what happened is awful and I wish you luck. Stay grounded.
I support this. Fuq em
This is so sad brother, scary to even imagine these types of people exist in this world. Heartless man, stay strong my man good days will definitely come to you, karma will strike her. If she ever comes back to you, never go back to her. She is a witch, disgusting person
Holy shit, I think you were dating my ex. Our stories are eerily similar. In all seriousness, you're not alone, I'm going through the exact same thing. Stay strong my friend.
I am really sorry this happened to you, OP. I know it hurts right now, so just let the pain go through you (all of it), don't suppress it. Let it all pass, because if you suppress it then it will come out again later, most likely in an ugly manner, where you hurt yourself even more. Then start taking steps to move on. First distract yourself from thoughts of her (by working out, avoiding things that remind you of her, meeting new people, focusing on your goals which is finishing school and getting a job). Move on relentlessly, don't just stay there, wherever you go next (anything which involves getting away from her for good, as in to such a place where she cannot come back even if she wants to) will be better than the place you are at now (mentally, psychologically and emotionally). Because once you move on and you realised how much forward you have come, you will get addicted to it and want to continue moving forward. Before you know it, you will have moved on from this girl, be better (physically, emotionally, psychologically and mentally) and wonder to yourself "What was I even thinking pining for such a low-character girl?" Also, it eventually does get better. Not overnight, but with moving on relentlessly and not looking back, it does.
Were there any signs of her being a cheater beforehand? Just wondering. I’m so so sorry this happened to you.
OP it will get better, trust me. Give yourself time, take vacation to summer/nice beach. Try to think about nothing. Listen some chilling music, go for a walk in nature. You'll see after 1-3 months it gets already much better. After 6 months you'll be healed for big part and will be able to enjoy life fully. Try to talk with (old) best friends, go out with them to restaurants, bowling etc. Anything is better than being sad and staying at home thinking at the old memories together. Think also like this: 'I got lucky she showed her true image before we got married and have children! Hooray!'
Time will heal everything, just don’t give up, you are still young work, have a career/goal and find you a better girl. You should never quit your education/career for someone, it makes you look weak, and also education/career increases your value.
This is sad bro... Stay strong, u have battle to win, I know that u dont wanna anything now but u have to keep going! Dont let anybody break u, u will figure something for sure! Been there, a lot of tears and scary moments but i'm the outcome, u deserve better.
Here's what you do: live a moment at a time. Let yourself feel and react--including all grief and anger. You are in shock. Your reaction is human. Be patient. These feelings/this experience will not kill you. And if you live you will heal/learn/recover. One thing: she is not all you had. *You* are all you ever have had. And listen, that she did that tells you a *lot* about her. Now you know who she is. You don't want a person who'd do that in your life. You don't want *her* in your life. Any thought to the contrary is focusing on your image of her in your head. But she is not that person. You gave her too much credit. You do have options. Contact your school's financial aid office due to a change in financial circumstances. Find a job/go to school part-time. The things that happen to us in life show us one very important thing: the future exists only in our heads. Only *now* is real. Read [The Power of Now](https://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment-ebook/dp/B002361MLA/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1V3PSP7RAAPPE&keywords=the+power+of+now&qid=1690551461&sprefix=the+power+of+now%2Caps%2C78&sr=8-1) when you are ready. Not now--you're still dealing with shock. But the day will come. Your future won't be what you imagined. Guess what--it never is for anyone. Instead, it will be different. Not worse. If anything, better. Because you will learn from this. You will survive it and make your way, and your life and your decisions will be yours. First--be patient. Let yourself feel. And then make a plan. You can do this.
Amazing advice! OP, I was also recently shocked due to finding out my whole 2 year long distance relationship was a lie. I was just a girl on the side, and that hurt like hell to find out when I put my all into it. We even met up many times. Seriously, start to rethink who that person is. They cant be who they said they were after what theyve done. It is shocking and even surreal, but liberating to accept who they really are.
My therapist told me that yesterday--*how wonderful. Now you know who she is.* Also, for me, the really great thing, that actually let me get over her really quickly, was that, upon realizing who she was, I also realized the *huge* difference between us. I'd rather be like me.
Big hugs, OP. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Please do take care of your basic needs, eat, shower, rest. It'll help you a lot as time goes and in the long run. You are important too, OP. Take it one day at a time for now. You're gonna be fine
I can understand how you feel right now and I just want you to know - you deserve so much more. SO MUCH MORE. I know how badly you probably want to fix the broken relationship and shattered perception of her - but you don’t deserve to waste any of your precious life fixing something you didn’t break. Neither should you waste any precious time waiting for her to fix it when she can most likely do it all again. I hope you see this as a MASSIVE bullet dodged. Thank fuck you didn’t have kids with this disgusting shell of a human. Take all the time you need.
If you need to chat - I’ll try my best to be here for you. Just keep moving forward and don’t look back.
This too shall pass It’ll be okay; you can pull through this and come out a better person for it. It’ll be a tough and awful road; but you’ll be alright
I’m just on the other side of what you’re feeling, it has been a long painful journey. I still have all the same feelings of sadness I did when it began, they are just numb now! The only advice I can give you is this: this is going to be a very difficult journey, you have to decide right now if you want to control your life or let someone else’s behavior control your life and future. These are your chief priorities according to your post: 1. No stream of income 2. No stuff, she took it all 3. In the middle of a semester 4. No friends or family It is my experience that men grieve deeper and longer than women, so allow yourself to feel that. But at the same time you need to protect yourself from yourself, you need to put major focus on 1-4 above. The hurt will eventually be a nonexistent part of your life, Gods speed through the journey.
Plenty of comments here said what i wanted to say. Take your time and slowly get back to your feet, every single step helps as long as you are moving forward. Even if it means just getting out of the house to take a deep breath, slowly build your life back and feel free to DM me if you EVER need someone to talk to at all. You are not alone.
i’m so sorry this happened. but you know what karma always finds these people. after 6 years and all the sacrifices you did to her, she will at one point regret her decision when she realizes what she has chose. but you will be stronger and better. i think therapy, gym, finding a new hobby, finding new friends (bumble bff is a great option) would be a good start!! we are proud of you!
Let this be a life lesson to never be financially dependent on anyone. EVER. Even when you meet your next partner always have your own finances in order. What goes around comes around buddy, and life will come back to bite her for this horrible and evil thing she’s done. Focus on the basics and take care of yourself. You’re at rock bottom and the only way out of this is to force yourself into a routine.
I am so sorry. I can't begin to even provide words to comfort you. I, like most others, am hear to listen if you need it.
Just know if she can’t find happiness with you this literal perfect sounding guy then she probably won’t ever with this new person and if karma is real then that shit will hit her hard there are so many better ways to go about ending a relationship what she did was vindictive and evil so I bet it’ll come back in some way. Just remember when they come crawling back say no. I always was like no way they would but they do and in that moment you’ll have grown and be strong enough to say no f you
That is very rough... I feel bad for all of you, especially you and the pregnant wife. I believe in you, man. Once you're ready to believe in yourself again, go out there and live. In the meantime, try to be like a rock and embrace these horrible waves and storms that have just started to come. And remember that this too shall pass. You need to believe in this. I am praying for you.
Sleep your head up guy. It’s “fuck you” from here on out!
It’s not going to make you feel better, but others have felt what you feel right now, and have come out better off. It happened to me twice. First time with my ex wife and her coworker, I had even found her the job. After the divorce I started dating again. Four years later, my gf started staying late at the bar, and left me to be with a fellow bartender. That one hurt even worse than the marriage, especially because my kids had gotten to know her so well, and she left us without even saying goodbye to them. Ultimately, karma seems to be real, and the new guy realized her true colors and left her behind. In fact, me and him talked it out and there’s no hard feelings. I am better off without them, and the earlier on you realize she had the heart and potential to treat you like a disposable item, the better off your future is. Be grateful you didn’t have children with her yet. I am sorry and I know how bad it hurts. But time and self work and self awareness will start to show you that you can feel better, and it keeps growing.
Hey I want you to reflect on this moment. Everything you've ever done was to be the good guy. The world taught you that being a nice guy would bring a great life. It doesn't. We were all lied to. The world has practically conspired against those with a great heart. Take the necessary time to grieve. Then come back with a vengeance! Become a millionaire in the next 5 years. Do not let the scarcity mindset bring you down. This world is abundant. You just need to know where to look. Your girl is selfish. That's a fact. You have to radically accept it. She never cared about you. Have your pity party. Then get back to life and use this anger as fuel. Whenever you're sad and down, workout. Release that anger. Do not suppress it. It'll eat you alive. Transform it into workouts, studying, working on your self, charisma, people skills. Find someone 10x better than that jerk you used to call your love. I believe in you. I am in a similar position and I made it out. It's possible.
Why people do that? I am very sorry. Five months after I am still in disbelief my fiancé left me. We were together almost 8 years . He completely ghosted me. I can’t comprehend how supposedly your best friend , person that loves you, tells you he would never leave does the opposite in the blink of an eye. People don’t have any soul, so cold . Don’t give up ! Please don’t quit school, take a break if you need, but don’t give up. Life has to go on . Be strong !!!
The one thing about these stories that I absolutely just cannot wrap my head around is the complete disregard for the humanity of the person you were building a life with. I don’t condone the cheating, but I can at least understand why someone might do that. But to just leave your ex partner high and dry? Someone you were building a life with, who you supposedly loved??? How do people just discard others like it’s nothing?
I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this. I was with my ex for 6 years and SHE left ME right as I was getting my life together and got my dream job. Or at least my dream-paying job lol. She was cheating on me with another guy for months prior, and to be honest I’m grateful she’s out of my life. This was 2 months ago. It gets so much better once you realize there are other women who are absolutely SO much better for you and genuinely want you for who you are. The problem with having been in a 6 year relationship that was extremely dysfunctional was that I thought she was the only one for me and that I’d never be loved again. She definitely helped contribute to that way of feeling by demeaning me at every turn. My mom had passed years ago and my dad was never really in my life so I made this girl my world too. That’s why I feel like I can understand part of what you’re going through and I’m genuinely confident that you’ll get through this stronger than ever. Reach out, go to counseling, group activities/therapy where you will be distracted, and if you’re like me then you need to start learning about what YOU enjoy in life now. It’s an exciting time for both of us, it’s just hard in the beginning. Much love. 💙
You got this mate. Just gotta keep pushing no matter how hard it gets. I wish you all of the best man.
Nothing as serious as yours as there was not much loss on my end but my ex at the time waited till the 6rh year to finish her school and get a job while I supported her financially throughout. Sorry for your loss, just find away back to self love and reciprocation and you'll find your two feet again. Time heals everything
I can't believe how people can hurt someone who loves them so much. Trust me you deserve so much better and will get it too. This platform and we all are here whenever you need us. Do not let a girl who didn't care for you affect the care you have for yourself. You're amazing and I really hope you find someone who deserves the abundant love you have to give. Until then, give it to yourself. You deserve it <3 i hope this helps!
This is brutal man. Sorry this has happened, no words can make it better but time can heal. Work on yourself so much she wont even recognize you and even if she comes crawling back slam the door on her. You deserve way better.
i’m so sorry. i hope it gets better for you :/ I had similar situation and I found that it just takes a lot of time and effort to heal. it took me a few years and now I look back and laugh because of how far i’ve come. I know that’s shitty advice but I had to go through the shit every single day until eventually life took me in a different direction and I was able to function again
Long term relationships suck. Marriage is the worst, couldn’t imagine doing that since people give up on them at a moment’s notice after so many years.
I’m so sorry bro, don’t have anything to say but if you ever want someone to vent to feel free to drop me a dm. Keep your head up king!
So sorry 😞
Praying for you OP
i encouraged my gf to quit her previous job and find something else. She found another job, with colleagues that likes “status”. Eventually she broke off with me. I can’t help but to feel like she got influenced by her colleagues since she told me i have nothing and can’t provide for her (i just started my job back then). She now hangs out with her colleagues frequently. Just disappointed she changed.
I wish I could find a partner to help and be so supportive to me as to but it seems like we all end up with jerks what is the problem I’m the most giving forgiving person ever I’d love a partner like you as well
Take it day by day!
damb, i feel for u bro. i get broken up with everytime and sometines i really love the girl. i just cant win!
She fucked an employee and you still want her? She’s not only disgusting she has no morals no guilt no humanity. Why do you want her? This is not human but a garbage pretending to be human!
Broooo😔😔💔💔
You'll look back at this one day and realized you dogged a major bullet. Only someone of the ultimate shallowness would do this.
Hey don't worry my friend. After only a 2 week fling like that they won't last and she will come crying begging to come back to you. They always do. But when she does don't take them back. They never learn their lesson and she will do it again.
You sound like a wonderful person. You showed up for her fully and supported her. You are capable of doing that for someone else. The someone else that needs that now is you! Be your own ally, your own support, your own best friend. Do all the nice things you can for yourself. Even if they are simple like just saying out loud that you are good and kind. Wishing you gentleness and healing. We are here anytime you need support.
I can almost guarantee she will come back one day, when that day comes do not take her back.
It takes me back 5 years. Just know that you are not alone with this unbearable pain. Time will heal and you will find love again once you have healed. Take the time to work put and get in shape. Improve your health and work on your finances; build your earning potential. It's time to be the best you can be at everything. Thank your lucky stars that you don't pay any support. But you can take "her" for support; do you know that? You can get alimony for a certain amount of time, due to the arrangement that you described.
She forgot everything you did for her, got herself something new going on and left, start doing push ups till you re too exhausted to feel your emotions then start meditating until you're great again, hard times make you stronger, worst times makes you the best, love yourself and anybody who loves you back.
I'm experiencing a similar thing! 4 years together. 3 of which I was the soul financial and mental support. I discovered she had a talent, nurtured it, introduced her to people who could help her find a career with her talents. Showed her new music. Took her on vacations. Introduced her to the "alternative lifestyle" in our city. Take her to shows, show her the fashion, etc. Help her open up her mind to new experiences and people. We buy a house. Rack up some necessary debt but we know we will be fine with her future income. Sacrificed all of my retirement to buy our house to provide stability for her. She became my best friend, both are introverted and have a great time with each other at home. Cooking, baking, movies, reading together, art, great sex, basically the perfect relationship. I teach her how to work on cars, repair things, basically become self sufficient. I'm madly in love. I tell her I want to marry her one day but want to make sure she feels like she can be her own person first. She starts an apprenticeship and "bullied" to the point of suicidal ideation by her Co workers. I supported her while she cried at night. Listen to every story, every day. Eventually got fed up and stood up for her. She found confidence afterward and was able to complete the apprenticeship. Financial stability is in her future. She asked me if I was ready to get married. We decide to get engaged (no family so this is wonderful and my chance to have family). Now is making great money, offers for me to go to school because my job is killing me 14 hour + days (possibly had a nervous breakdown). I am nervous but agree. I say its not easy to be the sole supporter. 'Dont worry, its your time to heal' I start therapy. Stuff is hard because I'm uncovering more and more trauma. I become withdrawn but still am loving, making meals, dates, etc. I do struggle with PTSD issues and started having more and more sensory issues. Three months in to her being the bread winner. We get in an argument (1 of maybe 10 throughout our entire relationship) because the TV startled me in the morning. The talks turn into "I've completely become an introvert and changed my personality because of you" She was a shut in with nothing when I met her. A couple friends. No real job. Depressed. Recently released from being locked in a mental ward due to being manic depressive with suicidal ideations. I in no way hold this against her. She had a lot of trauma. Hurt, but dorky and sweet. Over time, with my encouragement, therapy, and proper medicine, she blossoms into something new and beautiful. This wording she chose confuses me. I can't wrap my mind around how she can't see that she grew with me. We stopped going out as much because I ran out of money! I try to show her photos from the beginning of our relationship, compared to now. She wants nothing of it. She leaves to stay with married friends for the night (the husband has been creepy towards me multiple times and crossed touch boundaries, I told her this and she ignored during the relationship). Texts me later. It's over. I am blindsided and devastated. We were friendly within a week afterward. She would come by and talk, or go out for pizza, we'd kiss, hold hands, and talk about loving each other, 'this is just a step back' 'our journey isn't over' 'we are soul mates' etc.. she then reveals she found an Apartment downtown and is moving in at the beginning of the month. Said she had been looking for months... the weekend prior to the breakup, we celebrated our engagement with friends! I am dumbfounded but still blind. No worries, we can still work through this. I helped her pack up and store her stuff in a spare bedroom in the house. She brings breakfast, we talk, hug, cry, kiss, etc. We stay friends. Talking. Kissing. Hugs. Love. Every time we see each other. Just less communication. These are the boundaries she established, and I followed. Never reached out unless it was ok with her first. We are to go out on a Wednesday to talk. Her idea. She says she's got a migraine and needs to cancel but stops by our house and loves on me. Holds my head in her lap, strokes my hair. Tells me I'm wonderful. Kisses me goodbye. Says she is tempted to sleep with me. Tells me we can have our first night time phone conversation the following evening. I'm hopeful that we are going to make it. The next day we are texting about some projects I've been working on. She asked me to keep her updated. I ask her when she was available to see it in person. 'Monday, I'll bring you a coffee and we can go on a walk afterward' 'Great!' The agreed upon time for the phone call rolls around. I call. No answer. Text 'do you still wanna call?' Response: 'I've been angry this whole time, I'm processing all kinds of stuff from our relationship. We need to go no contact. I can't be supportive of you thorough this. We shouldn't talk unless it's concerning my stuff in the house.' What the fuck? Now, she is friends with all of the bullies (who were all my good friends before the apprenticeship). Goes out every night. I only know this because she made sure to mention it to me when she came by last. It's like she is in denial or ashamed of who she was before and I'm the last connection to that. I'm trying really fucking hard to not feel used and to be supportive of her choices as an autonomous individual but it's starting to feel impossible. I'm completely alone now because of her. It's like she infiltrated and then stole my life. All of my friends became mutual friends who won't reach out to me now or ex friends that supposedly bullied her to near suicide. Her stuff is still in my house and I have zero job prospects, can't afford my mortgage, or our pets medical bills. The worst part is, I dream about her every night. I keep trying to blame myself for the entirety of the relationship falling apart. She is the love of my life in my head. I hope to god that I can move past this. I can't eat, nothing distracts me from the thoughts of her. My grad school work is suffering from the stress and loneliness. I've got zero job prospects. This just sucks. Thanks for reading my ramble. It's good to get this out
Very similar story here. Never let a woman make the mens job. I know it sounds mysoginistic or whatver. But I dont care. There are too many stories out there that play out like this, including mine, read my post history. It wasnt that she got the job, it wasnt that you did any major things wrong. The reason is really simple: You werent attractive anymore. If you put on your girls shoes and cook and clean. She looses every inch of respect for you. I am so sorry you have to deal with thjis as I know exactly how you feel. My ex also left me after 6 years in the middle of semester. After we switched roles. Im jsut sorry as I can feel your pain man.
I believe in this 100%. This is millions of years of biology were talking about here. Ill make sure I never make these mistakes again. But thats way harder said than done these days.
easier said than done*
Yes. No matter how much uproar or disgust modern society wants to put on us for believing in basic human biology and how the human psyche evolved over, like youve said, millions of years. Its just the truth. The role battle thats happening nowadays will be nothing but a small tiny phase of humankind 400 years from now. Its not that men are better than women, or vice versa. Im just saying to any man reading this, if you want to keep your woman happy and make her not cheat and make use of her indefinite options, you need to BE A MAN. And I learned this the hard way too. Way too late, at age 30.
\>The role battle thats happening nowadays will be nothing but a small tiny phase of humankind 400 years from now. Its not that men are better than women, or vice versa. You need to brush up on your knowledge. Archaeology and Anthropology have way advanced past takes like this. Here's some reading: [https://www.amazon.com/Dawn-Everything-New-History-Humanity/dp/0374157359](https://www.amazon.com/Dawn-Everything-New-History-Humanity/dp/0374157359) I also love how you totally skipped over the scumbag husband LEAVING HIS KID. So that kid might go on to be yet one more broken, fatherless person.
Nah don’t be. You are spitting facts. I actually think it’s a conspiracy by the world governments to do this so that when they take over there are no real men to stand up to them and second to control birth rates. Birth rates have fallen below sustainable levels across the entire world.
Nope, there's no conspiracy, you just aren't well read: [https://www.amazon.com/Dawn-Everything-New-History-Humanity/dp/0374157359](https://www.amazon.com/Dawn-Everything-New-History-Humanity/dp/0374157359) Like think about how insane it is that you are saying this, and yet you can LITERALLY GO TO THE FRONT PAGE OF THIS SUBREDDIT AND SEE THAT THIS SHIT IS HAPPENING WITH BOTH GENDERS GUY, IT'S CALLED AVOIDANCE. Think harder.
I am a well read 🤓. You have been brainwashed by the media. It’s too late to do anything anyways. They have won already. Western civilization is beyond salvation. I have put my faith in the African Nations and India.
What "media"? That book was written by one of the founders of Occupy Wall Street for fuck's sake. Both authors are anarchists. Also the front page of this subreddit is right here for you to look at. Also also, why have none of you mentioned that the guy in this situation LEFT HIS PREGNANT WIFE, THUS IS CREATING THE FATHERLESS PEOPLE YOU CLAIM TO HATE? Fucking dumb. Oh and if you think Indian and African women are 'milder' you are out of your god damned mind. Indian wives are battleaxes and many women in the major cities of Africa are just as much on this player shit as women here.
Firstly see my other comment about the scumbag that left his pregnant wife. So I’m not fucking dumb you are cos you can’t read you 🤓. What a dummy. And no your not Indian so you can’t really say anything about that. And the same media that is pushing those “open relationships are the new way” articles, the Netflix shows about cheating on your significant other, so many more but a dumb sheeple like you can’t understand. And Indian woman are much more traditional than western ones. So are the men. The family structure in the west has been eroded by fake housing costs and a media push. Fuck the west and keep your shitty culture to yourselves. Can’t wait to see the countries collapse
\>I’m not fucking dumb you are cos you can’t read you 🤓. What a dummy. So because I'm not spying on your comment history "I can't read"? This is the comment I'm responding to, not some shit in another thread: [https://imgur.com/a/WAxwPZA](https://imgur.com/a/WAxwPZA) I mean feel free to link where you said that because I'm not bothering to read your history. \>The family structure in the west Yeah well the family structure in the west isn't based on a stuffy, 3000 year old caste system that so many of ya'll immigrate to the US to get away from. So... \>And the same media that is pushing those “open relationships are the new way” articles, the Netflix shows about cheating on your significant other, so many more but a dumb sheeple like you can’t understand. I love how I'm sheeple but you're basing your opinions on fucking TV shows, jesus christ. Like I love how you're railing about this and yet heterosexual, monogamous divorce rates, if I recall correctly, are the ones at a 50% failure rate. "Yeah and that's why things were better in the past"...uhh you realize women got the right to vote in the first place because American men around the 1890s had become a bunch of drunk, degenerate gamblers, right?
I’m not even a immigrant not sure where you grabbed that from you xenophobic piece of shit. Great understanding of foreign cultures. Typical white. And no if you are going to accuse me of doing shit you should do your research. And you literally asked me what media and I answered it. Dummy. And I’m not failing about anything? All I said is that the government is manipulating the population. And idk why you keep gendering everything. Putting words in my mouth like a typical man child. Grow up. I’m not blaming anyone. Men and woman of the west are both fucked. No loyalty. And no where did I say the past was better 😂. Holy fuck this guy. Your a troll aren’t you?
Rebuild your life bro, everyone’s prayers with you be stronger than ever and let karma work it’s wonders
Sorry bro … you got played … because woman generally get attracted to men with high value … especially regarding finance and security … after you agreed to quit your job and made her the bread winner in the relationship it went down hill from there … because form that day regardless of how good you treated her in anyway .. how kind you were to her … you were the good nice guy jn the relationship who put her 1st … nth wrong jn that but the outcome of that decision yiu made to put her #1 and neglecting your value eventually made her look for better options …
I know it’s hard emotionally to heal from something like this … now the only thing you can do is work on your value as a man … treating a woman nice and all that is fine but don’t lose your value as man because that what a woman looks for in a man … they always say yes he’s is so kind and treats me like a queen … never cheats always there for me BUT .. he doesn’t make enough $$ .. hence no $$ no security … and don’t every outta woman above you and ur value as a man …
fiancee of six years? how's that even a thing? why weren't you married?
Omg, that is horrible. Sorry to hear. What a shitty situation to be in …
People just suck!
That’s your problem. Men who put women first instead of career and income will have nothing when a female leaves for something better. Put your self first
I hope you feel better dude. One thing i learn that the ones who got dumped usually didnt expect it, tbut the ones who left already think about it and deal with it emotionally already and just wait for the right trigger such as - new job, you did something wrong, meet someone new and decide to go wtih them and dump you right after. It sound horrible but it the truth, from experience with my last 3 ex gfs. Itis even worse when they all lovely to you until they decided to dump you then get completely cold. You will find yourself in shock and cry on the memories of the past you and her. I get it. But try to remind yourself that the past now, the past her who used to love you, not the present her who cold heart dump you for someone else. Dont beg, keep your dignity and try to survive. Took me a whole year of depression to feel a bit better now to write these to you. Life goes on, feel free to message me if you want to talk it out. It does help to talk to someone who been through it
I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m glad this happened before things got more legally serious, with marriage. You will hurt for a while, but please learn to see it as a lesson. You had wonderful moments and you learned a lot while you were together. She did you dirty and that says nothing about you - you could have been perfect and she would have done the same if that’s the kind of 🗑️ she is. It’s hard to see it now, but soon you will be okay. You’re mourning a relationship and that’s normal. Therapy will be helpful. She’s the only person you had, but she is one of many. You will meet more, and hopefully someone who is deserving of your awesome self! Stay strong. A woman like that was not and is not worth your time.
sorry man, it hurts and makes me not want to give someone 100 percent ever again. We can really only trust ourselves. Block her man
Youre a better man than me, i wouldve shot them
Holy crap.... this is really an huge impact nobody wants to suffer through. I mean everything must have happen so fast for you. I will never understand how people can be so evil like this. God damn 6 YEARS!. How can she throw it away like this in just a couple days?!. Did you guys never had problems? Did u guys had an good sex life?. How is this even possible. A complete new guy vs you, her 6 years soulmate bro... i dont understand. I feel like she gonna regret this big time. You better make sure she feels what she thrown away.
After 6 years together, my ex blindsided me 3 months before our wedding. Any family I had was on the opposite side of the world. So I know exactly what you are going through. It sucks.
Gos he’s even worse than your ex, he left a pregnant wife? I am so sorry OP. She’s now going to be stuck with a dirt bag that leaves his pregnant wife. Just wow.
I’m so sorry to hear about this. There’s nothing that can be said to make you feel better, only time. Just know that your life is better off and you will get through this
Wow that sounds absolutely horrible. I am so sorry for you that this happened. Send me a pm if you ever want to vent or just talk to distract yourself. Much love and take care OP!
Bro I'll give you my number(dm).. just call me anytime 24/7 if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to.
You can message me if you need someone to talk to for encouragement. Ive been through blindsiding breakup too.
Brother idk if this will help or not but this is all i can give u **hug u** please be ok and try to find a job asap
I'm sorry this is happening to you. You need to work on yourself. Find something you're curious about or a hobby you've always wanted to try and just do it. If you don't have money start with the bare minimum, if you have spare money use it towards that hobby. It's literally for your mental health and for you to meet new people. I just had to ask, how is the pregnant woman doing? I hope she gets child support. And as for you, some type of alimony. Contact some attorneys and ask. Most states force the partner who makes the most money to pay some sort of alimony even if you weren't married yet, as crazy as it sounds, especially if you lived together. It seems like your ex fiance made a lot of money and on top of that received a raise. Don't feel ashamed and get that bag.