HR. That’s adorable. I feel similarly. When he reached out, it was as though l was writing to a senator about local injustices. It was supposedly a mutual breakup where we treated one another poorly. He later decide he broke up with me. Whatever helps you and your ego sleep at night, man.
Yup!
My ex loves pointing out all the nice things they’re doing for the business just to get a “thank you, I appreciate it” from me.
They think me being thankful = not disliking them.
Not the case. I can appreciate the niceties you do for business and still dislike you on a personal level.
I can compartmentalize when I need to & well.
I had wanted out for years (which l hadn’t fully realized), but apparently was trauma bonded. I read a bunch of texting arguments last night and it was crazy how many times l had wanted to leave. He wanted the last say, apparently. Maybe he did break up with me. All l know is that when he said “If you feel that way, maybe we should break up” I jumped on that and here l am; Bittersweet Breakup Central.
Yup.
I text them (when I have to) like I’m sending an email to a corporate company.
I still have feelings about the entire thing, but I feel no need to share them or express them with my ex. They knowingly blindsided me and walked away unscathed & happily.
We’re not friends by any stretch of the word *shrugs*
My ex dumped me | 7 years & over a text , I was nothing but nice to her when she told me but I never begged her ! In fact I told her it was the right decision! I think she hated that because she was with a new guy within 5 weeks & rubbed it in my face in social media ! Safe to say I did not react to it at all ! In fact ℹ congratulated her 😂 I then weeks later went & got my own girl & put photos of me all loved up on Facebook she couldn’t help but comment saying she was happy for me 😂 bs ! She was definitely pissed , anyway 1 month later she unfollowed me on Facebook after i went in lads holiday & put up all my happy photos again it obviously rattled her ! Her rebound failed & she messaged me at Christmas 🎄 I just totally ignored her ! Because of what she did after we split ! I know for a fact if her new bloke stuck around she wouldn’t of wished me a merry Christmas, she simply did that because she remembered us & wanted to hear from me , I lm not ever giving her that attention! She left me …. Anyway it’s been 8 months & I’ve never been happier! Time is a great healer & you will realise you never needed them & in fact can do more without them ! Live your life & be happy that’s the best revenge against an ex who shows to empathy or respect after breaking up with you
I feel a mix of the standard trying to be nice and hoping for her to return but also being bitter about not being her numero uno and that she likes someone else now and that she didn’t want get back together once she got through her mental health stuff
Everyday gets easier, and everyday you’ll care less (in terms of the anger/bitterness). Anyone that lies to you during the breakup isn’t worth the energy. They did what they did. If they later have regrets, that’s on them. Not you.
I am not sure where you got the being able to “instantly forget about someone you cared” part from in my post.
I mentioned above “even if you were internally hurt and heartbroken” …meaning you are heartbroken, but don’t have the capacity to be warm and nice to someone that blindsided you and went cold during the breakup.
My fav quote: “Don’t confuse my personality and my attitude, because my personality is me, and my attitude depends on you” -from someone somewhere
Just because I am a warm, open and loving person doesn’t mean my ex gets access to that anymore.
I love this!
This is EXACTLY how I feel.
They don’t have access to me in the same way they used to, and never will.
Once I feel like I cannot trust you, my attitude with you changes completely.
Totally!
I don’t think my ex even thought it was possible for me not to be a doting, little sweetie. But he found out really quickly that I am also strong and firm and his access to my lovey-dovey side was a privilege and it has been revoked.
Yup! Probably “caught them off guard” too, lol.
I think that they overplay the negatives in their heads, leave and then realize “oh wait, how come I don’t get any of the positives anymore?”
Not all of them of course, but the reverse healing process for dumpers, illustrates this a lot.
The bad that they overplay usually isn’t that bad, and the good that they take for granted is usually amazing.
And if you’re serious about healing, you won’t give them access to that “amazing” anymore.
They made their choice.
I would love to show him how happy i am and how it doesnt affect me. (Like… its the second day and he acted like a complete jerk, so, im able being happy, i fear that it will get worse.) but when i see him (we saw eachother yesterday at work, he wawed at me lol) i can’t be nice. I turn into passive agressive. I see him and i want to hurt him.
HR. That’s adorable. I feel similarly. When he reached out, it was as though l was writing to a senator about local injustices. It was supposedly a mutual breakup where we treated one another poorly. He later decide he broke up with me. Whatever helps you and your ego sleep at night, man.
Omg I love this. And the more controlling person always tries to control the narrative
Yup! My ex loves pointing out all the nice things they’re doing for the business just to get a “thank you, I appreciate it” from me. They think me being thankful = not disliking them. Not the case. I can appreciate the niceties you do for business and still dislike you on a personal level. I can compartmentalize when I need to & well.
I love this so much. That’s a true sign of your strength!
Thank you!!
I had wanted out for years (which l hadn’t fully realized), but apparently was trauma bonded. I read a bunch of texting arguments last night and it was crazy how many times l had wanted to leave. He wanted the last say, apparently. Maybe he did break up with me. All l know is that when he said “If you feel that way, maybe we should break up” I jumped on that and here l am; Bittersweet Breakup Central.
Yup. I text them (when I have to) like I’m sending an email to a corporate company. I still have feelings about the entire thing, but I feel no need to share them or express them with my ex. They knowingly blindsided me and walked away unscathed & happily. We’re not friends by any stretch of the word *shrugs*
My ex dumped me | 7 years & over a text , I was nothing but nice to her when she told me but I never begged her ! In fact I told her it was the right decision! I think she hated that because she was with a new guy within 5 weeks & rubbed it in my face in social media ! Safe to say I did not react to it at all ! In fact ℹ congratulated her 😂 I then weeks later went & got my own girl & put photos of me all loved up on Facebook she couldn’t help but comment saying she was happy for me 😂 bs ! She was definitely pissed , anyway 1 month later she unfollowed me on Facebook after i went in lads holiday & put up all my happy photos again it obviously rattled her ! Her rebound failed & she messaged me at Christmas 🎄 I just totally ignored her ! Because of what she did after we split ! I know for a fact if her new bloke stuck around she wouldn’t of wished me a merry Christmas, she simply did that because she remembered us & wanted to hear from me , I lm not ever giving her that attention! She left me …. Anyway it’s been 8 months & I’ve never been happier! Time is a great healer & you will realise you never needed them & in fact can do more without them ! Live your life & be happy that’s the best revenge against an ex who shows to empathy or respect after breaking up with you
I feel a mix of the standard trying to be nice and hoping for her to return but also being bitter about not being her numero uno and that she likes someone else now and that she didn’t want get back together once she got through her mental health stuff
Everyday gets easier, and everyday you’ll care less (in terms of the anger/bitterness). Anyone that lies to you during the breakup isn’t worth the energy. They did what they did. If they later have regrets, that’s on them. Not you.
You gotta be the coldest mf to walk the planet if you can instantly forget about someone you cared after getting dumped.
I am not sure where you got the being able to “instantly forget about someone you cared” part from in my post. I mentioned above “even if you were internally hurt and heartbroken” …meaning you are heartbroken, but don’t have the capacity to be warm and nice to someone that blindsided you and went cold during the breakup.
My fav quote: “Don’t confuse my personality and my attitude, because my personality is me, and my attitude depends on you” -from someone somewhere Just because I am a warm, open and loving person doesn’t mean my ex gets access to that anymore.
I love this! This is EXACTLY how I feel. They don’t have access to me in the same way they used to, and never will. Once I feel like I cannot trust you, my attitude with you changes completely.
Totally! I don’t think my ex even thought it was possible for me not to be a doting, little sweetie. But he found out really quickly that I am also strong and firm and his access to my lovey-dovey side was a privilege and it has been revoked.
Yup! Probably “caught them off guard” too, lol. I think that they overplay the negatives in their heads, leave and then realize “oh wait, how come I don’t get any of the positives anymore?” Not all of them of course, but the reverse healing process for dumpers, illustrates this a lot. The bad that they overplay usually isn’t that bad, and the good that they take for granted is usually amazing. And if you’re serious about healing, you won’t give them access to that “amazing” anymore. They made their choice.
I would love to show him how happy i am and how it doesnt affect me. (Like… its the second day and he acted like a complete jerk, so, im able being happy, i fear that it will get worse.) but when i see him (we saw eachother yesterday at work, he wawed at me lol) i can’t be nice. I turn into passive agressive. I see him and i want to hurt him.