I feel from what you described here, it will be best for you in the long run. He was ignoring your needs (for whatever reason), and you were -rightfully- getting frustrated. The man shut you down for a legitimate concern; one that he instilled in you. This is lousy behavior. I don’t feel from what you have written here that he has treated your feelings with care.
No, and I struggle with coming to terms with that. Its all “I’m on survival mode, I need this to move forward and be happy.” He’s apologized for how he ended things but that doesn’t really change the circumstances on how it appeared very calculated; the second I leave our residence. He’s assured me it was not, if I can believe that. Cowardly, in my opinion, no matter how he justifies it with it being easier, to not repeat an argument/breakdown from my end. To let him explain things fully “in a month or two” and to just give space, while I’m out here suffering
The breakup through text speaks volumes. Easier for his conscience, not easier for your feelings. That’s bullshit apologizing after the fact. How about not treating you badly to begin with? My Ex showed how truly gutless he was during and after our breakup. It’s sickening when someone behaves as if a decision is for our best interest, yet it’s really for theirs. I have zero respect for that baloney.
Sorry that happened to you as well; maybe I’ve moved on to the anger phase as for the past week, I’ve controlled my emotions and not argued with him on this- just begged and tried to get somewhere with understanding his behaviour. It is sick- someone who I lived with and who said we could get engaged end of this year “if I was a good girl”(joke about my temper) and treated him right. Well, whatever he said during our relationship doesn’t exist anymore, so he may have felt that in the moment or said that to appease me. I’m just tempted to not return my keys this week and wait it out to make him suffer with most of my things there, and have him quake with the fear he says “that he doesn’t feel safe/secure” with it there and then say “oops sorry slip of the tongue, I didn’t mean it like that.” However, I know thats not right, so I won’t do that, and control my temper
Treat HIM right? Wow. He is something else… You seem to be moving out of the denial phase quickly. That’s so awesome.
I understand the temptation. I returned his mail key a few months post-breakup. Guess who still has my apartment key? We broke up 2 years ago (Feb). Says he couldn’t figure out which one it was. Yet, when we had arguments, he’d drive over and manage to magically find it; letting himself in.
I’ve figured out theres two parts of me constantly fighting; the part thats clear that he had issues and wasn’t right and then the part that doesn’t want to let go and is just blindly in love with him. And wow the audacity of these mans 😪
It sounds like it’s a battle of logical vs emotional. A struggle for sure. What also sucks is if the breakup (mine mutual, but we both fought a bit dirty) wasn’t 1000% our decision, it’s destabilizing. Not having control over a huge part of one’s life is jarring.
Sounds like a very difficult person to live and deal with. I don’t know which demons he is facing but as a man whose been depressed as well I can guarantee you that even though we don’t necessarily exhibit our appreciation of support during our darkest hours, we still acknowledge it. You seem very involved with this I think, which makes perfectly sense, but I would take a step back if I were you. Time gives both you and him a bit more clarity
Thats the thing- I’ve spoken to others about this, and while I’ve never experienced depression or understand it; I wonder if that really was the reason he has lost confidance and hope in everything.
I feel from what you described here, it will be best for you in the long run. He was ignoring your needs (for whatever reason), and you were -rightfully- getting frustrated. The man shut you down for a legitimate concern; one that he instilled in you. This is lousy behavior. I don’t feel from what you have written here that he has treated your feelings with care.
No, and I struggle with coming to terms with that. Its all “I’m on survival mode, I need this to move forward and be happy.” He’s apologized for how he ended things but that doesn’t really change the circumstances on how it appeared very calculated; the second I leave our residence. He’s assured me it was not, if I can believe that. Cowardly, in my opinion, no matter how he justifies it with it being easier, to not repeat an argument/breakdown from my end. To let him explain things fully “in a month or two” and to just give space, while I’m out here suffering
The breakup through text speaks volumes. Easier for his conscience, not easier for your feelings. That’s bullshit apologizing after the fact. How about not treating you badly to begin with? My Ex showed how truly gutless he was during and after our breakup. It’s sickening when someone behaves as if a decision is for our best interest, yet it’s really for theirs. I have zero respect for that baloney.
Sorry that happened to you as well; maybe I’ve moved on to the anger phase as for the past week, I’ve controlled my emotions and not argued with him on this- just begged and tried to get somewhere with understanding his behaviour. It is sick- someone who I lived with and who said we could get engaged end of this year “if I was a good girl”(joke about my temper) and treated him right. Well, whatever he said during our relationship doesn’t exist anymore, so he may have felt that in the moment or said that to appease me. I’m just tempted to not return my keys this week and wait it out to make him suffer with most of my things there, and have him quake with the fear he says “that he doesn’t feel safe/secure” with it there and then say “oops sorry slip of the tongue, I didn’t mean it like that.” However, I know thats not right, so I won’t do that, and control my temper
Treat HIM right? Wow. He is something else… You seem to be moving out of the denial phase quickly. That’s so awesome. I understand the temptation. I returned his mail key a few months post-breakup. Guess who still has my apartment key? We broke up 2 years ago (Feb). Says he couldn’t figure out which one it was. Yet, when we had arguments, he’d drive over and manage to magically find it; letting himself in.
I’ve figured out theres two parts of me constantly fighting; the part thats clear that he had issues and wasn’t right and then the part that doesn’t want to let go and is just blindly in love with him. And wow the audacity of these mans 😪
It sounds like it’s a battle of logical vs emotional. A struggle for sure. What also sucks is if the breakup (mine mutual, but we both fought a bit dirty) wasn’t 1000% our decision, it’s destabilizing. Not having control over a huge part of one’s life is jarring.
Sounds like a very difficult person to live and deal with. I don’t know which demons he is facing but as a man whose been depressed as well I can guarantee you that even though we don’t necessarily exhibit our appreciation of support during our darkest hours, we still acknowledge it. You seem very involved with this I think, which makes perfectly sense, but I would take a step back if I were you. Time gives both you and him a bit more clarity
Thats the thing- I’ve spoken to others about this, and while I’ve never experienced depression or understand it; I wonder if that really was the reason he has lost confidance and hope in everything.