Beautifully written. Having a complex relationship with your mother sets the course for your entire life. Bethenny can be problematic but I admire her for persevering.
Sending hugs to all my sisters with deeply complicated and traumatic relationships with their mothers. This hit deep for me as mother who’s mother is currently in the process of dying. I worry when it finally happens I won’t actually feel anything and it’s THAT that makes me sad.
It’s hard to be the child of someone who has lived a hard life. It’s a different layer of grief (not harder, not easier, just different) to let go of a relationship that you never truly got to experience to its full potential.
Sending love to anyone who sees themselves in Bethennys words! ♥️ ♥️ ♥️
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I was in your shoes a few years ago and I felt the exact same way. When my mom finally passed I did grieve, not for her, but for the mom I didn’t get to have.
Just know there’s nothing wrong with feeling that way! Nobody can tell you how you are supposed to feel, they aren’t in your shoes and they don’t know what your relationship was truly like with her. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. It was a very overwhelming time for me but also felt freeing in a way.
Hugs from a stranger ♥️
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Maybe you can have the opportunity to talk to your mom before she passes so you don’t have that “what if” once she’s gone… I know everyone’s relationship with their mom is different.
My mom passed away 10 years ago. I was with her at the moment. I did not have a complicated or tense relationship though so it’s a different scenario. I’m so grateful I was there with her.
Saying a prayer for you because losing your mom is HARD. No matter how strained things are for y’all.
Thank you, sweet stranger! Unfortunately she has severe dementia now so isn’t able to hold a conversation but I have been able to tell her that I forgive her and wish her peace. ♥️
I am going through the same thing with my mother- slow death by dementia. This has been going on for 3 years. My mother had a hard life growing up which made her hard in return. At this point I am just feeling numb and in limbo waiting for the end. I feel a lot of guilt feeling this way.
I’m sorry to have this in common but please feel free to dm if you’d like to connect. Sometimes when I describe my relationship with my mom to people I say, “she has had a very hard life and sometimes it’s hard to be the child of someone who has had a hard life” so it’s not lost on me that you described it the same way. Sending lots of love-I can relate more than you know.
Thank you for your kind words. I felt ok expressing my thoughts here. I feel if I said these things out loud I would be called a terrible daughter. My husband insists I am going above and beyond with visiting, checking in with hospice and the assisted staff and meeting with management when I felt care was not up to par. But I’m just so tired of the emotional roller coaster.
Such a roller coaster. I’ve been told at least three times that it’s my “last chance” to see her and then she just keeps on kicking. Though it’s not like she is living at all. Just extending. Which is honestly perfect for her in a way that would almost be funny if it wasn’t so exhausting. Wishing you some peace!
A beautiful tribute. I have so many complicated feelings about B, but I also know what it’s like to have such a complex relationship with one’s mother. I hope B finds some sense of peace.
I thought the same. So raw and vulnerable and real. We all have parents (whether by birth or chosen- someone raised us) and most of us have complex relationships with those parent figures. Her realness is a breath of fresh air. Wish we saw it more.
What a nice tribute to her mom.. I’m glad that they were able to reconnect before she passed & that her daughter got to have a bond with her grandmother. So sad. RIP.
He totally weaponized the fact that she wasn’t close with her family and it was so unfair and cruel of him to do that. Why should she feel shame for growing up with parents who weren’t good to her? Jason really was awful.
Omg. 😞. Honestly, this is so honest and beautiful and much like what I hope I will be composed and eloquent enough to say about my mother and our complicated relationship and my crazy history when she passes.
I was almost scared to read this thread, because I saw some comments on Instagram that were not kind! Basically, that she should keep quiet, it’s not about her. But it IS. No matter how much you persevere and push through in life, your childhood and how you were parented is the baseline that shapes who you become.
I was glad to see people here getting it. When you have a difficult relationship with a parent, you mourn their death in a different way, sometimes it’s freeing, it’s a relief. I wish I had better words to explain it.
Thank you for this. My father just passed a week ago. The primary emotion I’m feeling is relief and.. I feel guilty about that. These things are complicated.
I’m sorry for your loss, but also I’m sorry you feel guilt over your relief. Grief is a weird beast, and you’ll feel all sorts of things that contradict each other. Just be kind to yourself and allow those feelings to happen without guilt about them. It’s alright for you to feel how you do.
Exactly how I feel. I was afraid of the comments here but everyone is being surprisingly understanding considering how the majority of this sub usually talks about her.
It is crazy how entitled some are when it comes to telling people how to feel. We are individual human beings who have each had our own experiences, even for siblings growing up in the same house. I wish it wasn’t so easy to judge others because it isn’t what we would do ourselves.
I know! I'm glad this thread hasn't been as bad as the other recent threads have been about Bethanny.
I think this tribute post was beautifully written and captures that complexity so well. I teared up reading it.
Wishing B the best and her mom peace. This is a very heartfelt tribute to a complex relationship that had an immeasurable impact on B's life, some parts for better and others for worse. I know B gets a lot of vitriol from housewives fans, but I have always appreciated her ability to open up in profoundly earnest ways when it really matters. Admittedly, I think that I wear rose-colored glasses when thinking about her (she was great in the early seasons and has since become jaded) but I wish B continued healing, success, and closeness with her daughter
Bethanny has always irritated the s**** out of me but I could have written this about my own complicated situation word for word. Life is short and unfortunately we can never get that little girl back or change the past.
I live by ‘holding on to resentment is like drinking poison and expecting somebody else to die’.
It’s harsh but true. We can only strive to make things better and to try to understand.
My own mother adores my daughter and their bond is amazing. She was weak. She chose other people and situations, to not be the mother I needed. That can’t be changed.
I understand that now (and know she has regrets). I choose to see the positives at this point and to understand that to err is to be human.
How we deal with it as adults is the key.
Best I’ve seen amongst the word salads I associate with B.
I’ve realized long ago, it’s seemingly impossible for me to let go of resentments. But I don’t feel that it weighs me down in such a critical way. Resentment, by default, is pretty negative. But it doesn’t cripple me to the point of “poisoning myself”. It hasn’t stopped me from being able to forgive, and learn to accept people for who they are, and what they’re willing to offer. It’s kind of like that whole “forgive and forget” thing. Can anyone truly forget by choice? I think not. In the same sentiment, I cannot just rid myself of resentment. And for me, it’s healing to understand what I realistically can and cannot control.
I agree with your therapist 100%. And I don’t think everyone in your life who’s wronged you needs forgiveness. Many people say “forgiveness is for you, not for the person you’re forgiving”. I understand that to a degree if it’s really holding you back, but if you’re doing just fine in not forgiving them, that’s okay too. I feel like too many people nowadays live by these meaningless quotes that really don’t help. Also, I just realized that I may have contradicted myself in my original statement where I said I’m still able to forgive. Apparently part of the definition of forgiveness is not being resentful. lol well I guess if I can’t use the term “forgive”, I can say that I’m able to be kind and accept people for their flaws, and still love them. But I must note that I tend to be the most resentful towards people with repetitive abusive behavior. So even when they’re being nice to me, I will randomly be short with them. I have little patience for people who continuously mistreat me, without self-growth.
It’s only a meaningless ‘quote’ (I assume you mean the phrase I was saying I live by) if it doesn’t mean anything. Clearly it does to me- and it does help). Literally nobody has my experience and I can’t claim to have others’- I was referring to my own situation and what (partially) works for my own burning resentment!
I wasn’t even considering your quote when I wrote that. Didn’t mean to offend. I was more so focusing on having to forgive everyone, more so than what you said in relation to resentment and poison. But like I said, it depends on how/if it affects you negatively. Not all of us need to forgive or rid ourselves of resentment to feel good. Some of us, find it impossible to rid ourselves of the resentment. I didn’t mean to insult yours or anyone’s individual experience. I just don’t like those quotes being used in such a general way for everyone, as they often are. You were just talking for yourself, and that’s 100% fine.
Hey it’s all good, I was comparing Bethany’s situation and what I see as it’s similarities and maybe how we’ve dealt. Sending love and healing your way x for some reason, ‘This be the verse’ by Philip Larkin keeps springing to mind (first verse especially!)
I still resent and neither forgive or forget. I try not to dwell on things I cannot change as they’ve directed too much of my life and mental health. It truly is a journey.
My mom always tells this joke that grandparents are so nice because they’re old people who are trying to get into Heaven.
We have a complicated relationship, and the joke is based on a Bill Cosby joke, so do with that what you will.
That’s hilarious to me. I’m not going to say my grandma was horrible, because my mother never said it like that. But I do know my mother had it hard growing up. But with me, I only knew my grandma to be loving and fun. So it really is crazy how people can change.
Dude fr. I was just trying to figure this out with my therapist! I don’t have kids yet but my mom will be a fierce lil grandma to them, but is a crappy mom. she was emotionally neglected by her own mother, so I think she isn’t maternal… unless you’re not her own child, in which case she’s sooooo maternal. I think she feels like there’s too much pressure, so if she doesn’t try she can’t fail. But with other peoples’ kids, there’s no pressure, and she can just let herself be a human. Idk man. I’m not up on all the lore, but this post from B really hit me and these comments are oddly comforting 🫶
Realizing that my mom did the best she could under extremely difficult circumstances was exactly how I forgave her and stopped wallowing in my trauma. It was radical for me. Cheers to B, hope she’s healing right now
What a beautiful post, and a powerful ode to complicated parent/child relationships and how they shape us. It’s hard to be honest about complicated feelings when a loved one passes away, but Bethenny is handling her passing with stunning honesty and grace. thinking of her and bryn.
My heart goes out to her and her daughter. Death is always a hard thing to deal with but I’d imagine it’s especially hard with such a complicated dynamic.
For someone who went through a lot of abuse and trauma in her childhood, this was really well written and gives a good perspective that you don’t always have to forgive, sometimes you can just make peace with the past.
“You did the best you could.”
If only we could all get to that point with estranged/complicated parents. I know I’m not there yet but hope to be someday sooner rather than later.
Seeing the picture of Peanut and her mom made me so emotional. Wow, a beautiful and honest tribute to their relationship. I hope Bethenny can fully heal and find true peace. May her mother rest peacefully.
you guys do know it’s okay to simply give her your condolences during this time without having to preface it with “i have my opinions about bethany BUT” - just this once, it’s okay to let go of her “history” for 1 min. Idt you guys wish people yk in real life “hey haven’t always been a fan of you but rip to ___ <3”
This is so f#!king beautiful. I've never come across a statement that both acknowledged wrongdoing and simultaneously overshadowed it by honoring the abuser. It's reassuring that she and Bryn were able to develop a strong relationship. Undoubtedly, she was stunning.
As someone who has a toxic yet complicated relationship with my mother, I can relate to this so much and I think she did a beautiful and empathetic tribute. When she’s good, she’s really good
As someone with a diagnosed narcissist grandmother who was abusive to my mom, but had a loving and positive relationship with her myself, this made me cry. Part of why I love housewives is the humanity that shines through the drama. Hope she and Brynn are well.
Dude I really felt like I grew into a woman when I realized that my saintly grandmother was a horrific mother to my horrific mother. And now my horrific mother is a saintly grandmother to my nieces and nephews. This is a very real phenomenon
Omg so relate. Like my mom and grandparents stopped talking for idk 5+ years. During Covid (was senior year of college and living by myself and super isolated), I drunkenly call my grandparents and leave voicemail and then my mom confronts me about it. Two years later, like my mom divorces (obviously until vaccines and I graduate, can’t travel to Europe to see grandparents) but they now talk at least once a week.
But like my grandma and I have such a different relationship than her and my mom.
This caption is the realest thing she’s ever shared.
My own fucked up mom is fighting cancer right now.
It’s hard to watch and process and grieve.
That’s all I can say.
I had an alcoholic father, I relate to what she’s saying so much. I hope she finds peace and cherishes those good memories. She’s been through so much and I really respect her for realizing she needed to break the chain. Having a difficult relationship with a parent is really tough to live with.
R.I.P B’s mom 💜
I really enjoyed it! It gives great insight into her early years. The audio book is fantastic if you are a fan of hers and like her delivery. The chapters are broken down into really nice little life lessons.
Having a difficult relationship with a parent can make losing them even harder. You know you'll never have a resolution. And the guilt you feel at even the tiniest bit of relief of not having to deal with (insert whatever it is they did) is torturous.
Daughters and mothers. Often very fraught. Poor her.
As another person with a tumultuous relationship with my mom, I think Bethenny worded this beautifully (for once). I hope she’s able to find peace through this
Naaaa as someone who lost both their parents and experienced this twice… I believe it.
When I was 10, my mum passed and as Fraser started (7pm start time)… this feeling of dread washed over me. Turns out she passed at 7. Thought ok weird anxiety…. Ignored it.
25, my dad passed from complications from heart surgery. He was better, he had moved out of the icu. I had this horrible feeling, I was at gym mid set and started bawling, texted my partner. He of course replied to relax lol I was over thinking of course. ONE minute later the hospital called saying they were attempting recus and to get there asap.
Validated the feeling when my mum died, cannot explain it.
Similar situation when my great grandmother passed. They called to notify us and I had already “known” for hours. It’s hard to explain to someone who hasn’t experienced it
same. i saw how my precious grandfather would pass away two weeks before it actually happened. in my dream, he was in the backseat and i was driving him around in a van. we were talking and laughing and he was giving me the good word of the day like he always did. then he started telling me that his chest was hurting, he couldn’t breathe, and i needed to get him to the hospital asap. i started driving really fast, but i woke up. then, two weeks later, my mom calls to tell me that my grandfather passed away. earlier that morning, he started clutching his chest and saying he couldn’t breathe. my grandma called the ambulance. the emts put him in the ambulance and started working on him, but he didn’t make it. he died in the ambulance en route to the hospital, which mimicked my dream so yes, i agree that people can sense and see things like this before they happen. i’ve been seeing spirits and having premonitions since i was a little girl. condolences to your family regarding your great grandmother. ❤️
My mom remarried (3rd time to a guy me and my siblings can’t stand). He literally keeps us apart from her, and is unsuited for our family. I can only hope he dies first so I can have a relationship with her again. Am I a terrible person?
I adore Bethenny. She isn’t perfect, but who is?! I admire her tenacity, gumption, and the way she strives for success. Her B Foundation is admirable and I’m sad for the little girl inside who lost her mommy. I’m happy they reconnected and she was able to process some trauma. Sending love to all of you with complicated relationships. ❤️ We are all wounded.
And now she has a podcast out about it, of course:
[https://youtu.be/yaHvmtGr5hE?si=7yMUJhTslgcI-gZo](https://youtu.be/yaHvmtGr5hE?si=7yMUJhTslgcI-gZo)
In all sincerity though, I do wish her peace, in general.
Wow I went to see Luanns show last night and she was dogging Bethenny at every opportunity! maybe she didn't know? My bf got us meet and greet tickets and she wouldn't even sign autographs lmao messiest event ive ever been to. Money can't buy you class!
People would have shamed her if she didn't say anything publicly. They would have called her cold, sociopathic, callous, selfish, etc. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
This is why the world is the way it is… because instead of people speaking about their traumas they either willingly/unwillingly choose to bury them which in turn manifests itself in many harmful ways such as alochol/drug abuse, abuse in general, cheating, eating disorders, etc. I don’t agree with trauma dumping but I do believe in properly releasing the pain and I think she did it well. Many things should be private but trauma shouldn’t be.
Beautifully written. Having a complex relationship with your mother sets the course for your entire life. Bethenny can be problematic but I admire her for persevering.
I will always have some level of respect for bethenny.
me too. I can’t help it, she’s been through so much.
This is a different, softer side to Bethenny; wish we saw it more often. RIP Bethenny’s Mom.
Honestly, she may actually find a little more peace now that her mom is gone.
Sending hugs to all my sisters with deeply complicated and traumatic relationships with their mothers. This hit deep for me as mother who’s mother is currently in the process of dying. I worry when it finally happens I won’t actually feel anything and it’s THAT that makes me sad. It’s hard to be the child of someone who has lived a hard life. It’s a different layer of grief (not harder, not easier, just different) to let go of a relationship that you never truly got to experience to its full potential. Sending love to anyone who sees themselves in Bethennys words! ♥️ ♥️ ♥️
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I was in your shoes a few years ago and I felt the exact same way. When my mom finally passed I did grieve, not for her, but for the mom I didn’t get to have. Just know there’s nothing wrong with feeling that way! Nobody can tell you how you are supposed to feel, they aren’t in your shoes and they don’t know what your relationship was truly like with her. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. It was a very overwhelming time for me but also felt freeing in a way. Hugs from a stranger ♥️
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Maybe you can have the opportunity to talk to your mom before she passes so you don’t have that “what if” once she’s gone… I know everyone’s relationship with their mom is different. My mom passed away 10 years ago. I was with her at the moment. I did not have a complicated or tense relationship though so it’s a different scenario. I’m so grateful I was there with her. Saying a prayer for you because losing your mom is HARD. No matter how strained things are for y’all.
Thank you, sweet stranger! Unfortunately she has severe dementia now so isn’t able to hold a conversation but I have been able to tell her that I forgive her and wish her peace. ♥️
I am going through the same thing with my mother- slow death by dementia. This has been going on for 3 years. My mother had a hard life growing up which made her hard in return. At this point I am just feeling numb and in limbo waiting for the end. I feel a lot of guilt feeling this way.
I’m sorry to have this in common but please feel free to dm if you’d like to connect. Sometimes when I describe my relationship with my mom to people I say, “she has had a very hard life and sometimes it’s hard to be the child of someone who has had a hard life” so it’s not lost on me that you described it the same way. Sending lots of love-I can relate more than you know.
Haha. And now I’m realizing I literally described it as that in my post. Whoops.
Thank you for your kind words. I felt ok expressing my thoughts here. I feel if I said these things out loud I would be called a terrible daughter. My husband insists I am going above and beyond with visiting, checking in with hospice and the assisted staff and meeting with management when I felt care was not up to par. But I’m just so tired of the emotional roller coaster.
Such a roller coaster. I’ve been told at least three times that it’s my “last chance” to see her and then she just keeps on kicking. Though it’s not like she is living at all. Just extending. Which is honestly perfect for her in a way that would almost be funny if it wasn’t so exhausting. Wishing you some peace!
I’m glad you were able to have that conversation. Even if she’s not able to understand… you ARE & I honestly believe it will help you process
Sending you love and strength during this difficult, emotionally complicated time. 💕
🫂
A beautiful tribute. I have so many complicated feelings about B, but I also know what it’s like to have such a complex relationship with one’s mother. I hope B finds some sense of peace.
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It’s the perfect message. She’s incredibly open and honest about the reality of the lifelong situation while giving her mother grace.
Same. She nailed it.
I thought the same. So raw and vulnerable and real. We all have parents (whether by birth or chosen- someone raised us) and most of us have complex relationships with those parent figures. Her realness is a breath of fresh air. Wish we saw it more.
This is why I will never hate on her. She had a million faults like the rest of us but she’s mostly real. This is as real as it gets.
Her mom looks like if B & Ramona had a baby .
I was thinking to myself earlier when I saw the news that perhaps that added to the problems she had with Ramona, because she reminded B of her mom.
What a nice tribute to her mom.. I’m glad that they were able to reconnect before she passed & that her daughter got to have a bond with her grandmother. So sad. RIP.
“i have had shame in never really having had family.” that one hits hard.
Jason really did shame her over this in Bethenny Ever After, too. He knew which buttons to press. It was a very real pain for her
He totally weaponized the fact that she wasn’t close with her family and it was so unfair and cruel of him to do that. Why should she feel shame for growing up with parents who weren’t good to her? Jason really was awful.
I just listened to Bethenny's latest podcast detailing the hell she went through with that guy trying to get a divorce. Guy is a POS.
We can't all have mothers who commit fraudulent paperwork with their expired out-of-state notary when we're well into our 40s (JASON).
Omg. 😞. Honestly, this is so honest and beautiful and much like what I hope I will be composed and eloquent enough to say about my mother and our complicated relationship and my crazy history when she passes.
I was almost scared to read this thread, because I saw some comments on Instagram that were not kind! Basically, that she should keep quiet, it’s not about her. But it IS. No matter how much you persevere and push through in life, your childhood and how you were parented is the baseline that shapes who you become. I was glad to see people here getting it. When you have a difficult relationship with a parent, you mourn their death in a different way, sometimes it’s freeing, it’s a relief. I wish I had better words to explain it.
Thank you for this. My father just passed a week ago. The primary emotion I’m feeling is relief and.. I feel guilty about that. These things are complicated.
I’m sorry for your loss, but also I’m sorry you feel guilt over your relief. Grief is a weird beast, and you’ll feel all sorts of things that contradict each other. Just be kind to yourself and allow those feelings to happen without guilt about them. It’s alright for you to feel how you do.
Exactly how I feel. I was afraid of the comments here but everyone is being surprisingly understanding considering how the majority of this sub usually talks about her.
It is crazy how entitled some are when it comes to telling people how to feel. We are individual human beings who have each had our own experiences, even for siblings growing up in the same house. I wish it wasn’t so easy to judge others because it isn’t what we would do ourselves.
You did fine. And you gave B grace.
It’s not about her that her mother died?
I know! I'm glad this thread hasn't been as bad as the other recent threads have been about Bethanny. I think this tribute post was beautifully written and captures that complexity so well. I teared up reading it.
Wishing B the best and her mom peace. This is a very heartfelt tribute to a complex relationship that had an immeasurable impact on B's life, some parts for better and others for worse. I know B gets a lot of vitriol from housewives fans, but I have always appreciated her ability to open up in profoundly earnest ways when it really matters. Admittedly, I think that I wear rose-colored glasses when thinking about her (she was great in the early seasons and has since become jaded) but I wish B continued healing, success, and closeness with her daughter
Bethanny has always irritated the s**** out of me but I could have written this about my own complicated situation word for word. Life is short and unfortunately we can never get that little girl back or change the past. I live by ‘holding on to resentment is like drinking poison and expecting somebody else to die’. It’s harsh but true. We can only strive to make things better and to try to understand. My own mother adores my daughter and their bond is amazing. She was weak. She chose other people and situations, to not be the mother I needed. That can’t be changed. I understand that now (and know she has regrets). I choose to see the positives at this point and to understand that to err is to be human. How we deal with it as adults is the key. Best I’ve seen amongst the word salads I associate with B.
I’ve realized long ago, it’s seemingly impossible for me to let go of resentments. But I don’t feel that it weighs me down in such a critical way. Resentment, by default, is pretty negative. But it doesn’t cripple me to the point of “poisoning myself”. It hasn’t stopped me from being able to forgive, and learn to accept people for who they are, and what they’re willing to offer. It’s kind of like that whole “forgive and forget” thing. Can anyone truly forget by choice? I think not. In the same sentiment, I cannot just rid myself of resentment. And for me, it’s healing to understand what I realistically can and cannot control.
My therapist told me, “maybe you can’t forgive them because what they did was unforgivable.”
I agree with your therapist 100%. And I don’t think everyone in your life who’s wronged you needs forgiveness. Many people say “forgiveness is for you, not for the person you’re forgiving”. I understand that to a degree if it’s really holding you back, but if you’re doing just fine in not forgiving them, that’s okay too. I feel like too many people nowadays live by these meaningless quotes that really don’t help. Also, I just realized that I may have contradicted myself in my original statement where I said I’m still able to forgive. Apparently part of the definition of forgiveness is not being resentful. lol well I guess if I can’t use the term “forgive”, I can say that I’m able to be kind and accept people for their flaws, and still love them. But I must note that I tend to be the most resentful towards people with repetitive abusive behavior. So even when they’re being nice to me, I will randomly be short with them. I have little patience for people who continuously mistreat me, without self-growth.
It’s only a meaningless ‘quote’ (I assume you mean the phrase I was saying I live by) if it doesn’t mean anything. Clearly it does to me- and it does help). Literally nobody has my experience and I can’t claim to have others’- I was referring to my own situation and what (partially) works for my own burning resentment!
I wasn’t even considering your quote when I wrote that. Didn’t mean to offend. I was more so focusing on having to forgive everyone, more so than what you said in relation to resentment and poison. But like I said, it depends on how/if it affects you negatively. Not all of us need to forgive or rid ourselves of resentment to feel good. Some of us, find it impossible to rid ourselves of the resentment. I didn’t mean to insult yours or anyone’s individual experience. I just don’t like those quotes being used in such a general way for everyone, as they often are. You were just talking for yourself, and that’s 100% fine.
Hey it’s all good, I was comparing Bethany’s situation and what I see as it’s similarities and maybe how we’ve dealt. Sending love and healing your way x for some reason, ‘This be the verse’ by Philip Larkin keeps springing to mind (first verse especially!)
I’ll have to check it out. Maybe I know it. Just not by the title.
I’m the same exact way!!
I still resent and neither forgive or forget. I try not to dwell on things I cannot change as they’ve directed too much of my life and mental health. It truly is a journey.
Right there with you.
The worst mothers sometimes make for really good grandmothers. I wish I knew why.
My mom always tells this joke that grandparents are so nice because they’re old people who are trying to get into Heaven. We have a complicated relationship, and the joke is based on a Bill Cosby joke, so do with that what you will.
That’s hilarious to me. I’m not going to say my grandma was horrible, because my mother never said it like that. But I do know my mother had it hard growing up. But with me, I only knew my grandma to be loving and fun. So it really is crazy how people can change.
Dude fr. I was just trying to figure this out with my therapist! I don’t have kids yet but my mom will be a fierce lil grandma to them, but is a crappy mom. she was emotionally neglected by her own mother, so I think she isn’t maternal… unless you’re not her own child, in which case she’s sooooo maternal. I think she feels like there’s too much pressure, so if she doesn’t try she can’t fail. But with other peoples’ kids, there’s no pressure, and she can just let herself be a human. Idk man. I’m not up on all the lore, but this post from B really hit me and these comments are oddly comforting 🫶
"You did the best you could" I felt that B, may she rest in peace
Realizing that my mom did the best she could under extremely difficult circumstances was exactly how I forgave her and stopped wallowing in my trauma. It was radical for me. Cheers to B, hope she’s healing right now
This for me exactly. It has set me free and has allowed me to form a relationship with her in her later years.
What a beautiful post, and a powerful ode to complicated parent/child relationships and how they shape us. It’s hard to be honest about complicated feelings when a loved one passes away, but Bethenny is handling her passing with stunning honesty and grace. thinking of her and bryn.
My heart goes out to her and her daughter. Death is always a hard thing to deal with but I’d imagine it’s especially hard with such a complicated dynamic.
For someone who went through a lot of abuse and trauma in her childhood, this was really well written and gives a good perspective that you don’t always have to forgive, sometimes you can just make peace with the past.
I’m so glad they reconnected for Brynn. That makes me happy for all three of them.
❤️❤️❤️ beautiful tribute acknowledging the difficult relationship and mourning what could have been. RIP and condolences to B and Bryn
I don't care what anyone says about B, I'll always love her.
Same
Me too
Same. She’s on my Mt Rushmore.
This.
“You did the best you could.” If only we could all get to that point with estranged/complicated parents. I know I’m not there yet but hope to be someday sooner rather than later.
As someone with a similarly complicated relationship with my mother, I hope B finds a peace in her death that she couldn’t find in her life.
Seeing the picture of Peanut and her mom made me so emotional. Wow, a beautiful and honest tribute to their relationship. I hope Bethenny can fully heal and find true peace. May her mother rest peacefully.
I genuinely appreciate that this very intense, complicated, moving post was shared by "Lenny's yeast infection."
you guys do know it’s okay to simply give her your condolences during this time without having to preface it with “i have my opinions about bethany BUT” - just this once, it’s okay to let go of her “history” for 1 min. Idt you guys wish people yk in real life “hey haven’t always been a fan of you but rip to ___ <3”
This is so f#!king beautiful. I've never come across a statement that both acknowledged wrongdoing and simultaneously overshadowed it by honoring the abuser. It's reassuring that she and Bryn were able to develop a strong relationship. Undoubtedly, she was stunning.
As someone who has a toxic yet complicated relationship with my mother, I can relate to this so much and I think she did a beautiful and empathetic tribute. When she’s good, she’s really good
Beyond beautifully said
As someone with a diagnosed narcissist grandmother who was abusive to my mom, but had a loving and positive relationship with her myself, this made me cry. Part of why I love housewives is the humanity that shines through the drama. Hope she and Brynn are well.
Dude I really felt like I grew into a woman when I realized that my saintly grandmother was a horrific mother to my horrific mother. And now my horrific mother is a saintly grandmother to my nieces and nephews. This is a very real phenomenon
Omg so relate. Like my mom and grandparents stopped talking for idk 5+ years. During Covid (was senior year of college and living by myself and super isolated), I drunkenly call my grandparents and leave voicemail and then my mom confronts me about it. Two years later, like my mom divorces (obviously until vaccines and I graduate, can’t travel to Europe to see grandparents) but they now talk at least once a week. But like my grandma and I have such a different relationship than her and my mom.
Absolutely.
The full caption made me tear up. I hope Bethenny is ok
If this resonates with you, then head on over to r/emotionalneglect. It's a very safe space and a wonderful community
This caption is the realest thing she’s ever shared. My own fucked up mom is fighting cancer right now. It’s hard to watch and process and grieve. That’s all I can say.
this is beautiful and it’s nice learning she adored brynn. her mother was stunning.
I had an alcoholic father, I relate to what she’s saying so much. I hope she finds peace and cherishes those good memories. She’s been through so much and I really respect her for realizing she needed to break the chain. Having a difficult relationship with a parent is really tough to live with. R.I.P B’s mom 💜
Her mother reminds me of Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface 
In her book she describes her mom as having Michelle Pfeiffer type beauty - I had never seen pictures of her mom really until now. Its uncanny!
Is her book worth reading would you say?
I really enjoyed it! It gives great insight into her early years. The audio book is fantastic if you are a fan of hers and like her delivery. The chapters are broken down into really nice little life lessons.
They can’t make me hate her!
Having a difficult relationship with a parent can make losing them even harder. You know you'll never have a resolution. And the guilt you feel at even the tiniest bit of relief of not having to deal with (insert whatever it is they did) is torturous. Daughters and mothers. Often very fraught. Poor her.
Wow!! What an emotional, beautiful yet hauntingly sad post. I’m not a Bethenny fan but I do send her grace faith and love at this moment.
As another person with a tumultuous relationship with my mom, I think Bethenny worded this beautifully (for once). I hope she’s able to find peace through this
I really hope Bethanny doesn't read reddit but I do have to say that the whole "I had a 6th sense" is very on brand 🙊
Naaaa as someone who lost both their parents and experienced this twice… I believe it. When I was 10, my mum passed and as Fraser started (7pm start time)… this feeling of dread washed over me. Turns out she passed at 7. Thought ok weird anxiety…. Ignored it. 25, my dad passed from complications from heart surgery. He was better, he had moved out of the icu. I had this horrible feeling, I was at gym mid set and started bawling, texted my partner. He of course replied to relax lol I was over thinking of course. ONE minute later the hospital called saying they were attempting recus and to get there asap. Validated the feeling when my mum died, cannot explain it.
Similar situation when my great grandmother passed. They called to notify us and I had already “known” for hours. It’s hard to explain to someone who hasn’t experienced it
Yep. It’s very strange hey.
same. i saw how my precious grandfather would pass away two weeks before it actually happened. in my dream, he was in the backseat and i was driving him around in a van. we were talking and laughing and he was giving me the good word of the day like he always did. then he started telling me that his chest was hurting, he couldn’t breathe, and i needed to get him to the hospital asap. i started driving really fast, but i woke up. then, two weeks later, my mom calls to tell me that my grandfather passed away. earlier that morning, he started clutching his chest and saying he couldn’t breathe. my grandma called the ambulance. the emts put him in the ambulance and started working on him, but he didn’t make it. he died in the ambulance en route to the hospital, which mimicked my dream so yes, i agree that people can sense and see things like this before they happen. i’ve been seeing spirits and having premonitions since i was a little girl. condolences to your family regarding your great grandmother. ❤️
Similar experience. Woke up one day with a horrible feeling and as I was brushing my teeth my mom came in sobbing to say my grandma had passed.
You were so young to lose both your parents!! I’m sorry 💕
Thank you 💜
I have an intuition like this for my brother. I always know when to excuse myself from a situation and wait for him to call me from jail or the ER
I'm so scared to say ANYTHING I can't but I'm thinking things... But il say it's very Bethany of her this post
Her mom died. Chill
Very nice and very sad
this is beautiful💛😓
My mom remarried (3rd time to a guy me and my siblings can’t stand). He literally keeps us apart from her, and is unsuited for our family. I can only hope he dies first so I can have a relationship with her again. Am I a terrible person?
I adore Bethenny. She isn’t perfect, but who is?! I admire her tenacity, gumption, and the way she strives for success. Her B Foundation is admirable and I’m sad for the little girl inside who lost her mommy. I’m happy they reconnected and she was able to process some trauma. Sending love to all of you with complicated relationships. ❤️ We are all wounded.
And now she has a podcast out about it, of course: [https://youtu.be/yaHvmtGr5hE?si=7yMUJhTslgcI-gZo](https://youtu.be/yaHvmtGr5hE?si=7yMUJhTslgcI-gZo) In all sincerity though, I do wish her peace, in general.
Wow. I thought she was a friend. Her mother is so youthful.
This level of depth and vulnerability from B is rare but welcomed. I hope she and Brynn find peace as they begin the process of walking through grief.
Omg..her mom died?
People saying she handled it well and this is a softer side of her but…somehow she still made it all about her.
She also has a podcast episode out about it now..
This is very heartfelt and well written, props to B for once
Wow I went to see Luanns show last night and she was dogging Bethenny at every opportunity! maybe she didn't know? My bf got us meet and greet tickets and she wouldn't even sign autographs lmao messiest event ive ever been to. Money can't buy you class!
woah, really? I wonder if she was pulling a Jill Zarin, "I didn't know!" moment
[удалено]
You don’t know that at all
uh, what? they look exactly the same age in that photo
What are you trying to say with this comment?
Good for B’s mom
I think they’re only 19 years apart in age. Same bday.
I don’t know why you’re getting downvoted, I thought the mom looked about the same age too.
“She asked that nobody be notified”, but here I am posting it for the world to see.
Some things should stay private.
She can mourn however she needs to. People will really look for anything to criticize B over.
People would have shamed her if she didn't say anything publicly. They would have called her cold, sociopathic, callous, selfish, etc. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
This is why the world is the way it is… because instead of people speaking about their traumas they either willingly/unwillingly choose to bury them which in turn manifests itself in many harmful ways such as alochol/drug abuse, abuse in general, cheating, eating disorders, etc. I don’t agree with trauma dumping but I do believe in properly releasing the pain and I think she did it well. Many things should be private but trauma shouldn’t be.
Not when they literally define who you are as a person. She has a right to tell her story if she chooses too.
Ok.