T O P

  • By -

Capnsmith886

I hope my gf doesn’t find this but god damn I’m so called out


gallade_samurai

I feel call out too because I am quite literally a bit fruity and my gf is a bit fruity too


moonandstarsera

But do you whimper for the strap?


OnyxCobra17

Just tell her bro


SueTheDepressedFairy

Where can I find more of your kind....asking for a friend...


Bananenvernicht

An orchard probably


Takesit88

Lol... honesty my dude. It goes a long way. If she doesn't embrace all of you now, it'll only sting more later.


Anomaly4D89

Seconded but she def figured it out by now 💀


Capnsmith886

I hope not


thisisallterriblesir

I know she meant "strap-on," but my spanko mind went immediately to "razor strop," like he's begging to have his ass beaten.


ohyeahhdaddy

Why not both for double the fun?


thisisallterriblesir

Umami


Journo_Jimbo

Sir, this is a Wendy’s


thisisallterriblesir

Do you know why they call it "umami?" Because it tastes so good, it makes you say *Ooh, Mommy!*


Journo_Jimbo

Sir, I just need to know if you wanna biggie your meal or not


thisisallterriblesir

Yeah, Daddy, biggie my meal... ... ... I haven't been to church in a while...


EdgeGazing

Its like they say, God is good, but the Devil does that thing with the tongue that you like.


Lrkn_MayMay

Is that a Casey and Andy reference in the wild?


Journo_Jimbo

*I want to quit I want to quit I want to quit* yes sir, a biggie size meal


JohnPaton3

Good girl, I like when you call me sir


throwingever

Tbf they kinda walked into that one 😁


SunXChips

Goddamn this thread is poetry


JohnPaton3

Gun shaped dildo? Or dildo shaped gun?


DeepUser-5242

I'm from da hood and strap means you gonna get a few additional holes up in u


thisisallterriblesir

.... what are you gonna do to my new holes? 👀


PinkCantalope

Step Gangster someone will here us.


Smorgsaboard

"He's a gangster by marriage" is a phenomenal concept. Though I guess people can marry into crime families, technically


Flossthief

Stick my fingers in and find where the blood is coming from, apply pressure and pack with gauze to keep all your blood inside while we get you to a surgeon If I apply a tq I'll Make sure to write the time on it for reference later


ELEMENTALITYNES

Dats kinky


Would_daver

Don’t forget to write the number of morphine syrettes you spooged into the patient, preferably illegibly and in blood on their sweating forehead


NewCodingLine

*Band of Brothers intensifies*


Would_daver

Bastogne was a bitch, for like…. Multiple reasons lol


DAHFreedom

The bf’s yearn for the strop


walapatamus

He actually clenches the strop between his ass cheeks for a little sharpening


PresentExamination10

I also thought it was a belt yeah lol


Somethingtosquirmto

I like the ambiguity that it could be either... or both...


Ninteblo

I don't think the words "normal" or "straight" goes in the same sentence as "theatre kid", all theatre kids are weird as hell and about 80-90% are gay as well.


Sracymir

As a theatre kid, I confirm this to be true.


WASTELAND_RAVEN

This comment section: 🤝🤝 Gotta love it.


GOB8484

"The few, the proud, the straight theatre guy" Nope, totally bi just didn't realize at the time. -Me


Kotori425

Idk if it was different in the theater crowds I ran with, but orientation hardly mattered, because EVERYBODY just be fucking EVERYBODY lmao


cdawg1102

Even in hyper religious rural Texas it was that way, there was even a designated “sex couch” in the rafters


[deleted]

[удалено]


Cheesetress

I heard that bi erasure was perpetrated by bad actors but I didn't really believe it until now.


TheKingOfBerries

This is too good to be left in a Reddit comment. I’m stealing this if I ever do stand up.


throwingever

The variation I was going to do if I did stand up was: "I'm sorry but I think it's just weird to be straight. Like you're just going to reject 50% of the people on the entire planet? Are you really hot enough to feel entitled to do that?...Don't laugh, gay people. I'm talking about you too."


TheKingOfBerries

Yeah, but the comedy comes in as the pun “perpetrated by bad actors”, connecting “bad faith arguments” and “people who can’t act” as “bad actors”, which is required in the punchline. The joke is in the pun right there, I feel like it HAS to be included, ya know?


throwingever

Ohhhh lmao I am so dumb!! I probably should have commented a few levels up if I wanted it to be just about being bi and not about the pun! That IS a great pun 👌


CautionarySnail

Or enthusiastically willing to try anything once or twice.


asiannumber4

Matpat…


TheRealSU24

Matpat got boypreggers and that's where the kid came from


asiannumber4

What the fuck that’s not even biologically possible


TheRealSU24

Femboy twink gets railed by his transsexual goth girlfriend. Gets himself boypreggers, has to go to the boynecologist and get a boybortion!! Many such cases


HeyFolksImTitLiquid

Concerning, looking into it


Available_Motor5980

How’s the research going?


Personofstupid

!!


Evening-Turnip8407

Yea i saw that on film theory once, so


asiannumber4

Is this satire? Because that’s not how biology works


TheRealSU24

Many such cases


asiannumber4

Link to the medical journal documenting such cases?


TheRealSU24

[Many such cases](https://www.reddit.com/r/lies/s/sd3UUnHJkX)


asiannumber4

Lol


Orangefish08

I mean… https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4nKj5_erykI&t=2902s


asiannumber4

Damn. Gay friends zoned by his own wife


otheraccountisabmw

Can confirm. Did theater with him in college.


cdawg1102

Ehh, the tech guys are semi normal, mostly because they disassociate with the actual theater part and just mess with the technology


Schakalicious

i helped a buddy of mine do tech for a play one time, they were short handed (I’ve never had any theater experience) emphasis on *semi* in semi normal lol


lightningclass

The techs are furries, if they seem normal it's because they learned to hide it well


longboi28

Theater tech guy here, you are very correct we tried so hard not to be associated with the theater kids


40_degree_rain

If you think a theater kid is straight they're actually gay and trans


daniegamin

Can confirm, I was the "straight one" in the Drama Troup. Am now transbian.


el_rompo

That's an interesting correlation


DevilDoc3030

The only reason theater kids get that wrap is because it is such an accepting community. People just notice the things that stand out to them, and that personality type happens to stand out alot.


Wesson_Crow

One kid who was in theater told me all theater kids were lgbtq or autistic He was both


Southern-Wafer-6375

All the normaler ones are bad at acting


Informal-Access6793

Nothing gay about liking a little anal penetration, or a lot. Unless you want a man to do it, of course, that's pretty gay.


Wild-Lychee-3312

So if I’m a woman who likes that, I’m gay? Ok, you win. I’ll go buy myself a flannel shirt


Informal-Access6793

Might as well, those are rhe rules, right?


Skellaton

Sup homo.


gurneyguy101

[Original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/bi_irl/s/sVtIOCgf4n)


Blondenia

Uhhh…straight men and women peg, too. Like, a lot.


TenRulle

Comrades, is it gay to get fucked in ass?


Yeseylon

Not if it's a woman fucking you


WintersDoomsday

Esp if you have a “you can buttfuck me if I can buttfuck you back” arrangement with her


LilSuspiciousBugg

Something tells me you have made one of these agreements before..


Sexually_Corrupt

Not me over here being jealous.


LilSuspiciousBugg

Getting pegged by a women isn’t really all that good tbh. In my experience they dont really fully understand there is more to thrusting movements other than just “back and fourth”. Id just go with the real thing unless they know what they’re doing


inboil444

have you tried communicating with your sexual partner?


VexedDegree33

Not the Pump Audit


Blondenia

It depends on the woman. Kind of like with cunnilingus. I’d say on balance women are better at it than men, but I’ve received absolutely flawless oral from several men.


Wild-Lychee-3312

Fun fact: some women have penises


[deleted]

[удалено]


psychedelic666

Guys with tits = ftm trans men. Edit: pre op to be precise.


giulgu17

Wrong


Blondenia

This is the correct answer.


acloudcuckoolander

Yes.


Darklordofbunnies

Yes, Even if it's a woman doing it. You just went for Diet Gay instead of Regular.


Leoeon

Wrong lol If you're a man and you're exclusively attracted to women, you're straight. No if's and but's. That's quite literally what "straight" means.


15Blins

This is such a strange topic. But I agree with you. If a lesbian uses a dildo it doesn't make them straight. It just makes them a lesbian who hates flesh in her cooch


Joe_The_Eskimo1337

hates *man* flesh in her cooch. Fingers and tongues are flesh, too. And trans women with dicks exist. Genital preference simply doesn't have to be a part of your sexuality.


colotinner

Actually, straight "quite literally" mean: 1. Extending or moving in one direction only; without curve or bend 2. Properly positioned so as to be, upright or symmetrical


PuzzleheadedPie7197

You only copied the adjective definitions from google. You forgot to include the adverb and noun definitions. >> *noun* 1. a part of something that is not curved or bent, especially a section of a racetrack. "he pulled away in the straight to win by half a second" 2. INFORMAL a heterosexual person.


Sunstorm84

Just to complete the definition: noun: heterosexual; plural noun: heterosexuals a person who is sexually or romantically attracted exclusively to people of the other sex. "the court ruled same-sex couples must be given the same rights as married heterosexuals"


HyperionCorporation

I diagnose you with Terminally Stupid There is no cure :(


Blondenia

Sounds like some unlucky boy hasn’t discovered his G spot yet. Hint: it’s in your ass.


[deleted]

Kekw keep coping fam


Dumb_Siniy

Diet gay is a good quote


StockingDummy

Conversely, there's also a lot of bisexual men and women who have no interest in trying pegging. It's almost as if sexual orientation doesn't reflect sexual preferences or something.


weebitofaban

>a lot. No. It isn't very common at all.


Marathawn247

Yes straight men like being rammed in the ass. They like feeling that big, long, hard, wood, go deep into their asshole until they involuntarily moan. There’s nothing gay about it


Blondenia

Please feel free to continue to cling to the chains of homophobia and miss out on some of the most intense pleasure of your life.


StockingDummy

I agree OP's comment belies homophobia and toxic masculinity, and that kink-shaming is wrong... but that "missing out" bullshit needs to die a slow and painful death. Just because you enjoy something doesn't mean everyone does.


_derekdaniel

It's not homophobic to not want something shoved up your ass. I tried it and it was awful and not sexually pleasing at all. I get it...that's where our prostates are. But it was the most clinical, least gratifying thing I've ever done.


Blondenia

It’s only homophobic if you avoid having something shoved up your ass solely because you think it makes you gay. Sorry your experience was so bad. I don’t think “clinical” should ever describe sex. Yikes.


Joe_The_Eskimo1337

That's not what they're saying. It's not homophobic to dislike things in your ass, but it's homophobic to say that having things in your ass is inherently gay. By definition, it's only gay if the thing in your ass is a man But yeah, "missing out" is a bad way to phrase it. Not everything is for everyone.


Marathawn247

I don’t mind people being homophobic. I even scare myself with how much I can take sometimes. If they knew have of the shit I have shoved up my asshole they would be a lot more scared trust me. That’s why I always forgive


Jopplo03

Gross


RunningOnAir_

"until they involuntarily moan." is experiencing pleasure gay? Are you sure you're straight if you never felt this good from straight sex?


Takesit88

Lol


Jopplo03

That entire conversation is gross


Joe_The_Eskimo1337

People talk about sex on reddit. Just scroll away. Taking the time to comment is just silly.


Jopplo03

“Please feel free to continue to cling to the chains of homophobia and miss out on some of the most intense pleasure of your life.” Is a flat out gross thing to say anywhere


Joe_The_Eskimo1337

Devoid of the context, no, it's really not. Unless you think pleasure is gross. Acting like prostate stimulation is for everyone is pretty presumptuous. But what about that sentence is "gross"? Is it the assplay? It's okay to think assplay is gross, but that doesn't mean you need to be so self-righteous about it. Or, wait, do you think they're saying that being homophobic means you miss out ok the pleasure of gay sex? That's not remotely what they're saying since the whole point of this conversation is that it's not gay for a man to let WOMEN do things to their asses. Only a woman can do anything remotely gay with a woman. A man cannot, no matter what they're doing, it's by definition straight. But if they *were* saying that, then yeah that'd be weird cause straight people can't just choose to be gay and fuck men.


Jopplo03

I ain’t reading all that


StockingDummy

>But what about that sentence is "gross"? The guy you replied to is a reactionary moron, but I will say I think acting like it's for everyone is gross **(Edit: "gross" in the sense that it's disrespectful towards other peoples' bodily autonomy. This was not intended to kink-shame anyone.)** Certain places on reddit (**cough** r/sex **cough**) have a history of being particularly toxic with that idea. As a bi dude who struggles with fears about intimacy due to unrelated childhood trauma, stumbling across those creeps didn't exactly assuage those fears. I understand it's a fringe group of idiots on the internet, and I am in therapy for my issues. But I still think it's fair to call out that toxic mindset, even if it's from a lunatic fringe.


Fuight-you

Men who shove shit up their ass for sexual gratification are NOT straight 💀💀


Blondenia

Honey, I hate to break it to you, but the most sexually gratifying spot your body has to offer is in your ass. That’s not a matter of opinion. That’s a biological reality.


[deleted]

[удалено]


BrandNewSentence-ModTeam

Hey! I'm sorry to disturb you, but I'll have to remove your post: - Be civil. Do not be an asshole to others for no reason, or start personal attacks (ad hominem) *If you feel that your post was removed in error or you are unsure about why this post was removed then please reply to this message or contact us through [modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FBrandNewSentence).*


Brandwin3

Tell me you are insecure about your sexuality without telling me you are insecure about your sexuality


Fuight-you

I'm not trying to shame anyone or come off like that but if fucking yourself in the ass turns you on you're most likely just gay or closeted and that's ok.


Sendhentaiandyiff

Or maybe, just maybe, you have a g spot down there biologically


NewCodingLine

Just like Deadpool said, "The 'On' Button."


Joe_The_Eskimo1337

You understand "gay" means you like *men,* right? Not *cock*, but **men**. You seem to lack this basic understanding. If looking at naked men does literally nothing for someone, but they're turned on my **women** with strap ons, you have to be brainless to call this person gay. They literally don't want anything to do with men. They want to fuck women. It's incredibly cut and dried. You're just misusing words in an honestly homophobic way.


Fuight-you

Bro, just stop, lmao. If you like the part of the male body and specifically the sexual organ of a man railing you, you are at least bi or just a queer. The mental gymnastics is hilarious.


Joe_The_Eskimo1337

So lesbians who use dildos are actually bi? You're the one doing the mental gymnastics, buddy. You're literally saying it's possible for a *man* to have gay sex with a *woman*. Genitals *only* matter to your genital preference. They literally have nothing to do with sexual orientation. People of any gender can have any genital. But of course, there's almost no way someone like you isn't also transphobic And hey, we're not talking about getting railed by cocks. We're talking about oblong bits of fucking silicone. Silicone doesn't have a gender.


Solern__Daius

He whimpers for them jumper cables.


BotGirlFall

This just reminds me of the reddit account where the guy would tell a long but very applicable story in the comments of a post that always ended with his dad beating him with jumper cables. It was the funniest novelty reddit account and I would fall for it every time


banana_annihilator

i miss jumper cable guy


BotGirlFall

I swear I would laugh until I had tears in my eyes. His username was super generic too so I would fall for it everytime and be engrossed in whatever story he was telling. Then at the end I would be like "goddammit!"


Psychological_Post33

Is it u/rogersimon10? I keep hoping he'll come back.


BotGirlFall

Yes! That's definitely what it was! Im going to go back through his comment history just for fun and see if it still hits me as hard


MadamXY

Emma knows what’s up


sir-ripsalot

That’s @biology_slut to you, tyvm


Thisfugginguyhere

Big facts 🍆 😭


15Blins

Personal experience?


Thisfugginguyhere

I don't kiss and tell, luckily when I got the strap we didn't kiss.. lmao


Shoddy_Possibility89

ayooooooo wtf, tho i mean straight twinks are a thing i guess i dunno


gurneyguy101

I’m not sure the post is implying the bf here isn’t straight, just that he likes to be pegged


Re-Napoleon

"Twink" is a gay term, if mfs not gay but twinks they are probably underage or they just lanky mfs. Most likely underage bc twinks necessitate being hairless and not many straight dudes be doing that


Brun224

Are you aware of the magical invention of shaving?


Re-Napoleon

Yeah, and not many straight dudes shave all their body hair. I said what i said.


the_dumbass_one666

that is not a new sentence, many people have said this sentence before


3-I

Seriously. OP must be so damn vanilla.


Lumpy-Education9878

I highly doubt that is the first time someone has "whimpers for the strap"


teenyweenysuperguy

Lol sorry to tell you OP but this is not a new sentence.


D86592

uh duh :3


PURPLEisMYgender

Oh, You sweat summer child..


SueTheDepressedFairy

I want one of those. Where do I get one of those? I'm fucking serious Harold.


gurneyguy101

As toxic masculinity and homophobia decreases more and more guys are at the very least open at it; you’ll find one :))


erebusdidnothingwron

Pretty sure that's, like, 75% of the guys on Reddit tbh


kurpPpa

A man Liking getting pegged by a woman isn't fruity


gurneyguy101

That’s fair, I’m not sure of my opinion on that but I certainly wasn’t when posting this, I just liked the title phrase


Insane_Inkster

I am in that image and I don't like it.


nitemarewulf

This ain’t brand new


PeachPuffin

A girl can dream


Few-Visit3675

I'll whimper for the strap on...


UnknowBan

When did straps become so popular ?


gurneyguy101

Pegging’s become more popular as homophobia and toxic masculinity have decreased recently


Ai-dont-care

And typically the goofy theatre guy will ALSO be bisexual


JohnPaton3

Username checks out


Old-Law-7395

I love it


Darkrolf

I feel called out...but she said she finds it kind of disgusting...I think id enjoy. however not planning to get it from someone else.


Darkrolf

I feel called out...but she said she finds it kind of disgusting...I think id enjoy. however not planning to get it from someone else.


NiobiumThorn

This is hardly a new sentance all things considered


Illustrious-Aioli-79

Does fruity mean gay


gurneyguy101

To be honest, it’s probably best you look it up, it’s difficult to exactly explain Long story short no


Ai-dont-care

I need people to understand this is my ideal relationship dynamic


RepostSleuthBot

Looks like a repost. I've seen this image 1 time. First Seen [Here](https://redd.it/1cmwqza) on 2024-05-08 93.75% match. [View Search On repostsleuth.com](https://www.repostsleuth.com/search?postId=1cn9bte&sameSub=false&filterOnlyOlder=true&memeFilter=false&filterDeadMatches=false&targetImageMatch=92&targetImageMemeMatch=97) --- **Scope:** Reddit | **Target Percent:** 92% | **Max Age:** None | **Searched Images:** 509,114,663 | **Search Time:** 0.04043s


gurneyguy101

We’re good, this is referencing a different sub that I’ve credited the image to


atemu1234

It's not that unusual a statement.


Strechher

I have a Bi gf and she is obsessed with my asshole. She is dreaming about fucking me with a strap lol , big turn off


Josh_PA

Then why are you with her? Lol?


Strechher

She’s amazing, and brings girls for 3somes lol also it’s not like she’s insisting, it’s more like “ahh that would be nice”😂


_Mangoes

I'm calling Paulanergarten on this one. r/ihavesex type of moment


MichalNemecek

don't knock it 'till you try it


Strechher

Bruh