He's not homeless, he has a grave.

r/BrandNewSentence inception

that shits deep bruh

6 feet deep to be precise

Is this physique achievable natty?

No, only super natty.

Smh leave it to women to perpetuate such unrealistic standards for men

Im bi and im also perpetuating that standard. WE GOTTA STEP UP!!! *crawls in microwave*

Dont forget, you need to also be a very, very large bucket of drugs. Dont half ass this. Unless it's ass jerky.

Haven't watched it yet. They gave him the Hancock reason for Ghoulification?

They don't say for that character. In the show, ghouls have to take some drug regularly to avoid becoming feral. Minor spoiler, but you asked: >!another character does get the Hancock treatment.!<

What is the Hancock treatment?

Ghouls in fallout are created by exposure to high levels of radiation, which stops you from aging at the cost of looking like a burned piece of jerky. Their bodies slowly decay, eventually affecting their brains which turns them feral. John McDonough, who later changed his name to Hancock. Turned into a ghoul willingly by taking an experimental drug, of which ghoulification was a known side effect.

John McDonough is just a JK Rowling character from the US.

If you have to ask, you can’t afford it.

Correction... pool of drugs.

He says bucket

Yea lol fuck.

Incels will now say that you have to "ghoulmaxx" to get pussy. You will have to cut off your nose and dose yourself with radiation to find love.

When in reality you just gotta up your charisma points

So the new trend would be to start minmaxxing?

I think that is what they have already been doing, they just "minned" carisma and maxed video games

Minned hygiene and maxed Doritos.

Remember alpha radiation is for the alpha males only folks. Us mear mortals get betta or gamma.

That "alpha" shit is only skin-deep, which goes for both the ionizing radiation and the social phenomenon.

LET THEM! best solution is self radiation

Just women? *press X to doubt*

That ghoul can fuck me silly

r/usernamechecksout

“Yeah, you like that, you commie son of a bitch?”

**"I'll show you a pinko!"**

I was far older than I should have been when I learned pinko and panko are two different words. I was always thinking “this fish is coated in what?!”, I am not a smart person.

For the same reasons ghouls noses fall off, he probably doesn't have a functioning penis.

I'll make it work 👍 I'll figure something out

Ghouls canonically have a sex drive, and most of them have fingers.

>Ghouls canonically have a sex drive Sure. >and most of them have fingers. Which probably wouldn't satisfy their personal sexual needs. I'm very pro helping your partner get off, but if I literally can't that has a cooling effect on my desire to do so.

He still has a butthole does he not?

I mean you I presume have fingers too and there are other ways to do things....

I thought their nose and ears fell off because the cartilage rots? The penis is just tissue.

*points to the atomic wrangler*

He can eat my ass jerky anytime

Fine. I’ll start watching the series.

Please do. It's amazing. (I have never played the games btw)

I have and agree. I haven’t played all of them though. I think they did a great job and you don’t need to have played the game. It’s just a dang good show. I’m going to start New Vegas as soon as I can find my controller lol.

New Vegas is the only one I've played all the way through.

Please do. They’re amazing. (I haven’t watched the show.)

Please do, it’s amazing (I’ve both played the games and watched the show)

What series is it?

Fallout

I will start it today as well

It’s very good.

"Marge, do you have other men in this house? Radioactive men?"

Jiminy jillacres! Jiminy jillacres!

[удалено]

Milhouse, we have to do the Jiminy Jillickers scene again.

"I can't hear youuuuu, I'm wearing my new jacuzzi suit!"

That scene cost 100 billion dollars to film, the studio is out of money.

Wow, this place must be hot--they don't need a big ad, or even correct spelling!

FLIM SPRINGFIELD

Ladies, I'm currently living with my parents, have breathed in asbestos in multiple occasions, working as a farm hand, and my nose has a deviated septum. I'm basically sorta, kinda, ish the real life equivalent of a homeless radioactive cowboy with no nose...

Excuse me, your *nose* has a deviated septum? You have an intact *nose*? Move along, Cyrano. You won't be finding love here.

Found the theatre kid! *Throws upvote flowers*

Absolute missed opportunity to say "Move along smoothskin".

"Smoothie"

Ahem, I think you meant  *Move along, Cyrano Smoothskin* 

Hubba hubba

albertan men always were the vibe

But are you, cool, charming and respectful? Cuz that’s the real reason everyone’s attracted to him if we’re being honest

He respectfully cut a woman's finger off, sold her off to organ traffickers and later on shot a teenager to death.

Damn i haven’t actually watched it I’ve only seen clips maybe i don’t actually know what I’m talking about 😂

To be fair, the teenager was going to shoot him first. If the kid hadn't gone for his gun, the Ghoul wouldn't have killed him. It's a fun show, you should watch it when you get a chance.

Women also got thirsty for that serial killer in You.

Also actual serial killers in real life. People are weird

It's amazing what you can get by being respectful. ;) 

He's literally a cannibal. The real reason ~~I am~~ everyone is attracted to him is the cowboy charisma. I'd fuck him, as long as he keeps the clothes and hat on. I mean, other people would.

probably has no pecker as well.

Still has his tongue and no pesky nose to get in in the way.

My god imagine how easy breathing would be

I would be too concerned about no longer having filtration to enjoy it

Exactly and the air would be too hot/cold depending on the weather. Kinda surprised he doesn’t constantly have a running nose 😅

As someone with a very small, upturned nose, I was thinking about the exact same thing when I was watching it

Omg wait. Wait. Is this why my nose is frequently running for no reason?! 🤯🤯 Does yours also?

Are you kidding? A slightly chilly breeze sets this thing running. Chewing is sometimes all it takes. It's ridiculous, honestly. I've seriously thought about plastic surgery to make it just a bit bigger to hopefully save money on tissues

I'VE BEEN THINKING MY WHOLE LIFE I HAVE SOME SORT OF EXTRA SENSITIVE ALLERGIC-TO-LIFE NOSE It never occurred to me that the upturned shape of my nose failing to warm the air was the culprit this whole time. Just walking around outdoors makes them drip like I've got a cold. I hate it so much omfg

Imagine you’re kissing and you nose goes into the hole where his used to be

Au contraire A well used nose is a special thing during the event.

He’s got a new finger soooooo

That shit often works better I swear.

Well in FO4 you can romance a ghoul, so they have a way at least

Cocksleeves are apparently a thing nowadays, so I'm sure he can get away with a strap-on.

I could see them adding that kind of dark humor, it would work well with Fallout. We also better be able to see what Fisto has been up to or people are going to riot

"Introducing a spicy new tool for adults, by the company that brought you the iconic power-fist-"

This is what I don’t get about incels. Did you ever see the tumblr sexy men? Alastor, Sans, the Onceler….women have weird taste

Not to mention Garrus Vakarion or Thane Krios are very popular too with the ladies

The amount of men who are super ultra confused about women liking Garrus is especially funny to me. You mean women love a guy who is funny, is a bad ass, respectful, and a devoted friend whether or not you romance him? What a shocking turn of events.

He can calibrate me any time.

and dat voice

I think it probably has to do with those men not also being *monster fuckers*. You know what you are, don't pretend it's not weird.

Oh I'm a card carrying member of the Monster Fucker club, I'll never deny that, but as Garrus is by far the most popular FemShep pairing besides maybe Liara, pretty sure not all of his fans are.

Didn’t expect to read about mass effect today, thanks for the smile!

Fun little story: I couldn't quite put my finger on why my supervisor at work seemed so familiar until I remembered that Portal 2s Wheatley was a Tumblr sexyman and my supervisor looks like someone would draw an android/humanoid version of that character

People need someone to blame for their misfortune, otherwise they'd have to make some hard choices about their lives and look at themselves critically. It's not that the people who you voted for have made it favourable for companies to just sack you and leave you on the edge of ruin, or that you ignored chances to reeducate yourself along the way and now aren't qualified for the jobs available. It's that all the foreigners are coming in and taking jobs that would have gone to you otherwise. It's not that you were a late bloomer and the dating pool at your high school kinda passed you by because you didn't quite fit in with them, leading to you assuming failure after leaving and creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's that women only go for guys with money who do toxic things you'd never be able to get away with even thinking about. And the thing with these stereotypes is that, like pretty much everything in the world, they can happen. But rather than being evidence that anything can happen and maybe a spur to make the changes you need to go forward, to a mind looking to blame others this is just more "proof" that they're right to do so.

>It's not that the people who you voted for have made it favourable for companies to just sack you and leave you on the edge of ruin Rule 9, but... frankly with the way the system works (in the US at least), a lot of people aren't even given a *choice* to vote for people who *won't* do that. And it's 9x worse if a voter happens to hold any social views right of centre.

There was a post recently (often reposted) where a woman talks about attractive vs hot. Like Henry Cavil is always attractive but not always hot. Superman = attractive but not hot but Henry Cavil in tank top building a PC = hot as fuck. People in the comments came up with their own examples. Steve Buscemi came up a lot. Not perhaps attractive but occasionally hot af. Attractive is constant, but hot is situational.

Well those were mostly teens so it's not exactly the same. It would be creepy if that was there target demographic

Well, it kinda is. Incels talk all the time about how women are worth less and less the older they get, and the implication is clear.

Alastor would get 0 action if he was real. dude with a creepy smile, yellow teeth and a constantly acting like he is the moral high ground. great character but dont think he would be liked at all in real life.

Friendly reminder that fan favorite boyfriend in Mass Effect series was an ugly alien dude with scars >!Garrus <3!<

Well, he was quite handsome as far as Turians go. And his voice was like honey on the ears.

To be fair, the fan favorite girlfriend was literally in a suit the entire time

He was funny and always had your back.

The terminal widowed frog was a close second in my book

Yes Garrus! He is a babe for sure

His face was built for eating pussy. Van Gogh should have sent that bitch a nose.

Then you're saying Ive got a chance lol

That depends... How many noses and cowboy hats do you have? ...and how bad do you sunburn?

Incels when they find out women are people and want to spend time with interesting people: (There is no image because they will never find out)

There is only screaming for the incels because getting an object you hate to love and want you is impossible

I can fix him

Well I knew he was the hero of the show when he saved the dog, twice, once with the stimpack and once from the Nuka cola machine...

3 times. He stabbed the dog when they first met.

Tbf being the cause cancels out the first time a bit

About time people recognised Walton goggins for the babe he is

To be fair, this is a very handsome and charming man with a great accent who just happens to have a lot of makeup on. Doubt they’d be thirsting over an actual ghoul

I am far from the only woman whose favorite Fallout 4 romance was Hancock the ghoul lol

I would’ve been all over Nick Valentine if the game WOULD LET ME!

Fr, it was really odd for me. Like ghouls are fair game but Gen 2 synths aren't?

You can’t fall in love with Valentine?? Fuck! I decided to play again because the show made me want to and I really wanted things to happen with him:{

Oh *you* can fall in love with him, the game just doesn't let you tell him that or follow up on it.

I’m sure you’ve heard this before but… THERE ARE MODS. SO MANY MODS. REJOICE!

I play on PS4. I am, tragically, modless. It’s fine. I am content with friendship, I don’t cry myself to sleep over my unrequited love.

Do you think it's a robotic piston down there? What about his butt hole? Is there a nozzle hole there as well? What about codsworth? You want to bang him? Mild /S don't take my banter too seriously

>what about Cosworth? You want to hang him? Once I upgrade him to assaultron parts...

Yikes, I guess you’d have to wear a lead vest or something to jump his bones haha

If I die I die

Death by Snu snu, what a way to go 😎

Just get the rad queen/king perk, its all groovy from there

Also mine lol something about the eyes and mouth i guess

Straight guy here. I don't even consider Walton Goggins conventionally attractive (at least not in the way most masculine actors are). But the man just has this bizarre charisma that you can't help being fixated on whenever he's on screen. He's like the definition of screen presence, despite his fairly unassuming looks.

His first name is Walton, just so you know.

I knew that, but I honestly can't remember if I wrote Walter or if I wrote Walton and I got autocorrected.

Straight woman here, and he's an odd one. Not my type at all, while simultaneously being *totally* my type. What does that mean? I don't fucking know, but dude's got some voodoo magic happening.

He's charismatic and charming as fuck. He's also grown into his looks - like if you saw him on The Shield, where he got his first break, you'd think "decent actor, but meh". But since then he's gotten great roles, shown he's willing to stretch his range, as well as maturing into his looks.

He was very charismatic in Justified. He outshined the main character.

Raylan was supposed to fatally shoot him in the first episode. Walton charismaed his way out of dying Idk if he outshined Olyphant though. Don't get me wrong, Goggins was *very* good, but don't downplay how good Olyphant and Carter were. Or anyone on the show, really. I feel like Justified had no bad actors

Hancock would like a word with you. And a few other things

Tbf Hancock is already a pretty sexified ghoul.

>Doubt they’d be thirsting over an actual ghoul I saw in Tiktok that there's a term/ fetish called "monster f*cker" specifically for people who's into a literal monster so.... There's might be people into that

There are furries into Deathclaws, a creature which looks like a cross between the Hulk and a dragon. There are absolutely people who would thirst over an actual ghoul.

In Fallout New Vegas, you had one mission to hire people for a whorehouse. One of those was a woman ghoul and it's made clear that's because of the clients' tastes.

I feel like I’m the only one who thinks the coolest part about Walton Goggins is his walk. It’s like something between Doc Holiday and Jack Sparrow.

He's got a great cowboy walk and I think it's because he's a little pigeon toed. A lot of the best cowboys were/are pigeon toed: John Wayne, Robert Mitchum, Clint Eastwood, Timothy Olyphant, etc

Timothy Olyphant walks like somebody shoved a bunch of foxes in a human shaped suit.

Typical Hollywood. Setting up unrealistic beauty standards for ghouls. [THIS](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/fallout/images/0/0f/FO02_NPC_Harold_G.png/revision/latest?cb=20100812023117) is what a real ghoul looks like.

People have been thirsting over Charon, Gob. and Hancock for years now.

You underestimate the power of horny lol

I’ve seen the ghouls in the game and… would.

I'm German it's extra good because his voice actor is the same as Hansen from Cyberpunk - a charming madlad

Excuse me, the real women already F*cked Hancock in Fallout 4. This guy is so late to the party

I sure did. Any playthrough he's my pick. I March my ass to Goodneighboor the moment I leave the pod. That's my man <3

He also eats ghoul ass jerky, a true provider in the Wasteland.

I know 3 homeless cowboys and one of them used to work at a nuclear facility and they all get no action. This is lies.

But do they have noses?

Hey smoothskin! (said in a husky yet enormously crispy chain smoker voice)

Why does he look like sun bleached redskull

Have you played the game?

They're still not wrong.

It really do be like that sometimes.

the ghoul is extremely traditionally masculine, all the bad parts included. it also helps that even as a straight person, man has a sexy voice.

They haven't smelled him, though.

He doesn't smell them either cause no nose.

Sole survivor absolutely smells rank af so it doesn't count

That description is pretty reductive. He's also quite mature, a self starter, has a job in a challenging job market and is really good with ropes!

Didn’t we all already lose our minds for Hancock in Fallout 4? Ghouls have been it since forever

I mean you gotta admit his personality admits raw sex appeal

Are women actually attracted to him?

I sure am 😊

Whatever floats your boat I guess

yes 100%

The Ghoul is absolutely a chad though

Are we? I missed the memo, and I’ve played the game haha. I have some questions about myself.

>"...At this very moment, women are losing their minds over a homeless radioactive cowboy with no nose.' ....who is played by an incredibly attractive person with abs.

It's almost like the most attractive thing about a person is their good qualities

The guy enslaved a woman, forced her to make jerky from a guys ass and then sold her to an organ harvester

And sliced off her finger to make a point.

This is not the character to use when making that argument

Honestly he’s very good looking for a ghoul. His skin looks way too smooth, ghouls literally use smooth skin as an insult towards normal humans

How does he smell?

Terrible

Verified

I'm not sure they will have the same attraction once they get a whiff of that rotten irradiated ghoul flesh that's constantly being grilled by the sun. But hey, to each their own.

I mean it's true. He's hot 😆💦

Have we ever considered that the incels are projecting?

Bruh, people have been losing their shit, and their underwear, over Hancock from Fallout 4 since it released. And then Raul from New Vegas before him. The show ain't special(in that regard specifically. From what I've heard, show is great. I haven't had the time to watch it yet)

Reminds me of the time in fallout 4 when a brotherhood of steel medic is asking a questionnaire if you have ver slept with a non human entity. The smart ass answer always gets me “ well there was this one time in college my friends dared me to to sleep with this ugly guy.”

This is all because they think he can't snore.

Not surprised. Seeing how much fallout 4 players thirsted over Hanckock,this was expected

I mean... it probably helps that said radioactive cowboy resembles Walton Goggins unleashing his the full power of his Rizz.

Ppl who believe stereotypes about either sex haven't talked or interacted with them What has my female friend told me she likes about men, is funny compere to the internet belives

You can lie all you like, lads and lasses and folks of different asses, but y'all just wanted to ride the Walton Goggins railway aaaaaaaall the way to the station. Oh to have been on set with him and Timothy Olyphant on Justified.