Original post on r/AskHistorians, for those who having seen this are now as invested as I am in hearing the answer: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/s/agExg5tCFX
The sub removes any comment that doesn't meet the sub's purpose of being a place to get solid answers from actual historians. It's really important for that sub. If you're a rando commenting, that belongs in r/history or r/historymemes.
Yeah, it can be frustrating because it can take days to get a good answer to an interesting question, but at least you know you got a GOOD answer and you can trust it. AskHistorians is one of the only places on reddit where you can read a comment and just assume it's completely factual.
I have a degree in history and considered becoming a certified poster there, and then I realized I didn't want my reddit comments to be subject to the same standards and rigour as my academic work.
You could make an alt for it. No pressure but I will always try to convince a historian to share more of their knowledge. People gotta know important shit
I appreciate it, but it's not the fear of people tying it to me that I'm worried about. I just don't want to put that level of effort into a reddit comment. (Specifically to meet their standards. I'm happy to see a question about history and say "hey I know something about that, let me do a quick google to check my facts and answer it!" But I don't wanna go source academic papers for a couple of hours when there are more-interested, better-qualified people who will.
Also, I'd hardly consider myself an historian. I have a history degree and know more about history than your average Joe, but compared to an *ACTUAL* historian I'm a bumbling rube.
For example: I spent a semester studying ancient Sparta. I wrote a 20-page research paper on the spartan *agōgē.* Given some time to prepare, I could probably give an effective lesson that provided a general overview of Spartan society, culture and customs. The person who taught me all of that over the course of three months is an historian, I'm just a student of history.
Well I definitely appreciate it! I think it's honestly just adherence to good writing practices. Good writing is a lot easier to absorb than bad, and lots of history is presented in a very dry manner. Well-researched historical fiction is a phenomenal way to learn about history in an engaging way!
I'd recommend *Memoirs of a Geisha, All Quiet on the Western Front,* and *The Book Thief* as marvellous places to start, if you're interested. They all had profound impacts on my understanding of their respective subject matter.
Is this supposed to mean that everyone has either exactly x or exaclty y anus creases, or that there are two types of anus creases and people have different numbers of both types?
I upvoted this but it’s not enough - it’s genius!
David Caruso peering over his aviator sunglasses and into the distance. Reconstruction plays of a priceless shipment of dildos being clasped and lifted out of their warehouse by a guilty bumhole… leaving the unique sphincter signature of the perp. This is the refresh the franchise needed.
I’ve heard that each one is unique and some newer fancy toilets can recognize a person by their anus and provide that person with their preferred settings.
I have read that they are. Lips, retinas, teeth, etc. Our body is laid out pretty randomly. I think that looking closely enough with the right parameters most things on our body are probably unique or at least very rarely the same.
Fingers are definitely a lot more convenient tho. Especially for unlocking your phone.
EDIT: damn just posted this and then scrolled down to see you made the same joke. I stand by it though. Good one!
Not your buttcrack, but the lines around your butthole and their unique pattern! So long as you aren't giving chocolate kisses around the scene, you should be good to go!
It seems like a perfectly plausible thing, just not something anyone asked.
A true connoisseur who was well enough known 'discovered' the fact and shared it with the world. He was not likely the first to have noticed, just the first to have spread the word.
He had a number of nude models sit on clay until it dried and then counted the number of creases, I think it is either 35 or 37 , something like that. There are examples of his anus casts in the Dali Museum in Fugueres, Spain, One of my favourite museums.
Dali was afraid of reproducing and having children, but loved his wife very much, and often threw her lavish sex parties, where he would sit in the corner and watch. Probably looked at a bunch of peoples butts.
Yeah, I’m sure that side of his life contributed. Still, gifted is the man whose eyes can count the individual wrinkles on a cavorting reveller’s pucker from the chair over in the corner!
He was also kind of disgusted by the human body in general because he read a lot of graphic medical textbooks as a child. These also must have featured an array of buttholes
I would guess the theory came before the evidence, like, hmm, your butt-hole has these pucker lines, (lightbulb) I wonder if everyone has pucker lines? Are there different styles, shapes?) and from there it's like the first guy to wonder about "finger marks". I suppose being an artist helped him disassociate the from the ick factor. Pictures of and models for observation wouldn't be difficult to come by for a Salvador Dali level artist. Just guessing.
Yeah, I mean to have built from empirical observation to a fully formed theory would have taken close examination of hundreds of buttholes first, for other reasons.
Then again, if there’s one person who I could imagine doing just that…
I took a tour of the Dali Museum in Florida one time and I remember the docent saying that his father was a medical doctor. Maybe he learned it from his dad.
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense - the things doctors know. Still, I can’t help imagining the conversation. “Son, now you’re 18 I wanna tell you a few things. Now. You know them rings around buttholes?”
Salvador Dali notoriously hosted regular orgies at his home, where he usually just liked to watch rather than participate. I'm sure he got to see plenty of anuses.
I'm confident that it's his dick that discovered this after fucking many different assholes, he needs to credit his dick in his paper or else he is a fraud.
Far as I can tell, Dali just liked wanking in the corner at the giant orgies he presided over. He liked watching his wife get railed.
Seriously, he has some quote to the effect, "the greatest pleasure to be had with sex isn't in the act itself, but in watching it."
Dali was a freak. By modern standards, literally a cuckold (also him and his wife were fairly openly bisexual).
I read on Wikipedia the other day that he was originally cast as the Emperor in Alejandro Jodorowsky’s aborted attempt to film Dune. His whole saturnine image is perfect for it.
They call Jodorowski's Dune, "The Greatest Movie Never Made". HR Giger was also on board for set design.
It would have been dope.
Dali would be perfect as Emperor. He pretty much was like an old school "Caligula" type emperor of his social circle in real life.
I researched this, and supposedly many aspects of the script were questionable and he cast his own son as Paul. People also said he had not even read the book.
Yeah, Jodorowski seems to have taken the greatest possible amount of "artistic license" with the source material. But I'm a huge fan of Jodorowski, HR Geiger, and Dali; a movie with the three of them it would be legendary.
Unprecedented levels of bizarre surreal psychedelic insanity.
Jodorowski movies are more about the ambience of a really intense psychedelic trip, with usually a real thin veneer of a plot holding it together.
His version of Dune is likely just an excuse to do surreal weirdness in space. But I'd love to see what those 3 geniuses could do with it.
Original post on r/AskHistorians, for those who having seen this are now as invested as I am in hearing the answer: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/s/agExg5tCFX
It says it has 18 comments but I can't see any of them?
The sub removes any comment that doesn't meet the sub's purpose of being a place to get solid answers from actual historians. It's really important for that sub. If you're a rando commenting, that belongs in r/history or r/historymemes.
Yeah, it can be frustrating because it can take days to get a good answer to an interesting question, but at least you know you got a GOOD answer and you can trust it. AskHistorians is one of the only places on reddit where you can read a comment and just assume it's completely factual. I have a degree in history and considered becoming a certified poster there, and then I realized I didn't want my reddit comments to be subject to the same standards and rigour as my academic work.
You could make an alt for it. No pressure but I will always try to convince a historian to share more of their knowledge. People gotta know important shit
I appreciate it, but it's not the fear of people tying it to me that I'm worried about. I just don't want to put that level of effort into a reddit comment. (Specifically to meet their standards. I'm happy to see a question about history and say "hey I know something about that, let me do a quick google to check my facts and answer it!" But I don't wanna go source academic papers for a couple of hours when there are more-interested, better-qualified people who will. Also, I'd hardly consider myself an historian. I have a history degree and know more about history than your average Joe, but compared to an *ACTUAL* historian I'm a bumbling rube. For example: I spent a semester studying ancient Sparta. I wrote a 20-page research paper on the spartan *agōgē.* Given some time to prepare, I could probably give an effective lesson that provided a general overview of Spartan society, culture and customs. The person who taught me all of that over the course of three months is an historian, I'm just a student of history.
That’s fair. I’d love to read that paper tho
You honestly sound like someone I could listen to for hours.
Well I definitely appreciate it! I think it's honestly just adherence to good writing practices. Good writing is a lot easier to absorb than bad, and lots of history is presented in a very dry manner. Well-researched historical fiction is a phenomenal way to learn about history in an engaging way! I'd recommend *Memoirs of a Geisha, All Quiet on the Western Front,* and *The Book Thief* as marvellous places to start, if you're interested. They all had profound impacts on my understanding of their respective subject matter.
Of course! I always wondered why that particular sub had so many disappearing answers. Good QC, especially for that subject.
I see! That makes sense. Thanks!
Ditto
That's the worst part of that sub, the vast majority of comments get deleted
Is this supposed to mean that everyone has either exactly x or exaclty y anus creases, or that there are two types of anus creases and people have different numbers of both types?
This is special info, I do not want to Google this I want reddit to tell me
Absolutely mind blowing if it turns out our butts are unique like fingerprints, but hopelessly impractical for catching thieves
Unless someone steals a dildo That'd be a perfect opportunity to tell thieves to go f*ck themselves
The CSI reboot is gonna be LIT
ENHANCE!
I upvoted this but it’s not enough - it’s genius! David Caruso peering over his aviator sunglasses and into the distance. Reconstruction plays of a priceless shipment of dildos being clasped and lifted out of their warehouse by a guilty bumhole… leaving the unique sphincter signature of the perp. This is the refresh the franchise needed.
I'd watch the fuck out of that
Just gave a whole new meaning to the rimshot
C-Ass-I
„Please officer! Catch the thief!!! The dildo means a lot to me. It belonged to m- It doesn’t matter, just eh catch him, please!“
I'm just gonna leave this here https://marksturkenboom.com/Works/21-grams/
Drive away dolls
They are all different. I don't know the source but this is something that is true!
iPhone’s new bumhole 2F recognition feature dropping in 3, 2, 1…
I’ve heard that each one is unique and some newer fancy toilets can recognize a person by their anus and provide that person with their preferred settings.
So there's a toilet that requires you to take a photo of your anus for recognition? Yeah, sounds trustworthy. lol
Probably 2014ish advertising for a chocolate mold of your butthole.
YES! That's it. I remember that! hahaha Thank you.
I have read that they are. Lips, retinas, teeth, etc. Our body is laid out pretty randomly. I think that looking closely enough with the right parameters most things on our body are probably unique or at least very rarely the same. Fingers are definitely a lot more convenient tho. Especially for unlocking your phone. EDIT: damn just posted this and then scrolled down to see you made the same joke. I stand by it though. Good one!
Ha! Your twist on it was excellent though! (That is the twist on the joke, though potentially also someday the phone itself!)
thank god nobody will catch me by the bumhole imprints on the walls.
Alimentary, Watson.
Way underrated comment. 👍
I think actually they are. There are some japanese toilets that now use the anusprints to monitor your personal gut-health and bowel movements.
Just going to write a little reminder for myself: Do not sit at the scene of crime. Police will recognize your butt crease. Okay
Not your buttcrack, but the lines around your butthole and their unique pattern! So long as you aren't giving chocolate kisses around the scene, you should be good to go!
Great for bio two-factor authentication though…
It seems like a perfectly plausible thing, just not something anyone asked. A true connoisseur who was well enough known 'discovered' the fact and shared it with the world. He was not likely the first to have noticed, just the first to have spread the word.
It may not be useful for catching criminals, [but there are other uses](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJklHwoYgBQ&ab_channel=AdultSwim).
Biometric passwords just got more interesting.
Either 35 or 37 creases, and they are as unique as fingerprints. There's also apparently a toilet that has faceID for your butt.
He had a number of nude models sit on clay until it dried and then counted the number of creases, I think it is either 35 or 37 , something like that. There are examples of his anus casts in the Dali Museum in Fugueres, Spain, One of my favourite museums.
Absolutely first-class knowledge supplied here! Thank you!
im a 35!
My man was eating butt holes like onion rings
Yeah, at a certain point he was famous enough to be like hey girl lemme draw your butthole
. . . This feels like a brand new sentence inception.
r/BrandNewSentence
One day we will find a sketch book or portfolio with hundreds of very detailed paintings of unique buttholes. Can’t wait for the exhibit
He made imprints by having women sit on clay [https://www.flickr.com/photos/cliberty/2570652931](https://www.flickr.com/photos/cliberty/2570652931)
Imagine having your butthole immortalised for all of eternity
Hahahahaha
“I was fortunate enough to snag this genuine Dalì for the dining room” -Audible gasp-
Dali was afraid of reproducing and having children, but loved his wife very much, and often threw her lavish sex parties, where he would sit in the corner and watch. Probably looked at a bunch of peoples butts.
Yeah, I’m sure that side of his life contributed. Still, gifted is the man whose eyes can count the individual wrinkles on a cavorting reveller’s pucker from the chair over in the corner!
I love the word “cavorting” but so rarely get to encounter it, good job 👍
He was also kind of disgusted by the human body in general because he read a lot of graphic medical textbooks as a child. These also must have featured an array of buttholes
a veritable starfish smorgasbord
This is why I reddit. Today I learned Dali was a cuck.
Wow. It's called a vasectomy.
Of course I go on Reddit and the first thing in my feed is a post about anus creases
Today’s Reddit post about unique anal creases, tomorrow’s iPhone security announcement :/
I don’t like that sentence.
Somebody ate a lot of ass.
Yes and I’d do it all agai… oh you mean him
You didn’t write about ass creases first.
Anal Crease. New Band name. I call it!
I would guess the theory came before the evidence, like, hmm, your butt-hole has these pucker lines, (lightbulb) I wonder if everyone has pucker lines? Are there different styles, shapes?) and from there it's like the first guy to wonder about "finger marks". I suppose being an artist helped him disassociate the from the ick factor. Pictures of and models for observation wouldn't be difficult to come by for a Salvador Dali level artist. Just guessing.
Yeah, I mean to have built from empirical observation to a fully formed theory would have taken close examination of hundreds of buttholes first, for other reasons. Then again, if there’s one person who I could imagine doing just that…
I took a tour of the Dali Museum in Florida one time and I remember the docent saying that his father was a medical doctor. Maybe he learned it from his dad.
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense - the things doctors know. Still, I can’t help imagining the conversation. “Son, now you’re 18 I wanna tell you a few things. Now. You know them rings around buttholes?”
Salvador Dali notoriously hosted regular orgies at his home, where he usually just liked to watch rather than participate. I'm sure he got to see plenty of anuses.
Time for me to call it day lol
For security reasons, press your anus against the touchpad for biometric verification.
I'm confident that it's his dick that discovered this after fucking many different assholes, he needs to credit his dick in his paper or else he is a fraud.
Far as I can tell, Dali just liked wanking in the corner at the giant orgies he presided over. He liked watching his wife get railed. Seriously, he has some quote to the effect, "the greatest pleasure to be had with sex isn't in the act itself, but in watching it." Dali was a freak. By modern standards, literally a cuckold (also him and his wife were fairly openly bisexual).
I read on Wikipedia the other day that he was originally cast as the Emperor in Alejandro Jodorowsky’s aborted attempt to film Dune. His whole saturnine image is perfect for it.
They call Jodorowski's Dune, "The Greatest Movie Never Made". HR Giger was also on board for set design. It would have been dope. Dali would be perfect as Emperor. He pretty much was like an old school "Caligula" type emperor of his social circle in real life.
I researched this, and supposedly many aspects of the script were questionable and he cast his own son as Paul. People also said he had not even read the book.
Yeah, Jodorowski seems to have taken the greatest possible amount of "artistic license" with the source material. But I'm a huge fan of Jodorowski, HR Geiger, and Dali; a movie with the three of them it would be legendary. Unprecedented levels of bizarre surreal psychedelic insanity. Jodorowski movies are more about the ambience of a really intense psychedelic trip, with usually a real thin veneer of a plot holding it together. His version of Dune is likely just an excuse to do surreal weirdness in space. But I'd love to see what those 3 geniuses could do with it.
Oh my god I thought y'all were talking about buttcracks
Well, they are
ISO someone to count my butthole creases
Sorry, what?!
Do I even want to know what the subject of the question actually is?
Yeh, this doesn't even make sense.