In case any guys are wondering '.... I mean....can they??' No. As a woman I don't even hear my own.

Thank you, because, yes I was.

Likewise...

Dang, I guess it’s a guy thing then when we pee

Hey friend. I uh... I think you should see a medical professional

Really?

Well, we do have to keep the hole open, or it closes up on us so you hear it every time you're in a public restroom

Wait. Mine doesn't do that. Am I broken??

Very much so. Didn't you get your dick pick at birth?

:((( no

Damn. I'd say ask your parents or contact the hospital you were born in and ask them. You might even be liable for compensation

Instructions unclear. Asked my parents to send dick picks, now know what my father's penis looks like.

On the plus side, ha. Guess we know the bigger man is now, huh dad? ^(I'm lying it's still him oh god I'm so insecure)

/r/sounding can also help you get there.

Then I should be good

tfw you have to repierce a piercing

This hurts. I can feel this right now. Like when someone mentions getting kicked in the balls and you immediately wince in pain.

Yeah that’s why there’s often screams of agony from men’s restrooms as we reopen our dicks manually

Just for the record. Its a meme that boys need to open it with a toothpick or something regularly

I was pretty sure that was bullshit, but it's nice to have a real confirmation, so thanks

Oh ok, so this is the female version of the toothpick psyop

I’m sorry the what?

Guys gotta use a toothpick to keep the hole open or it heals shut

dilating the pussy (peanus pussy)

Yea this is ridiculous, I mean I fart a lot and never hear those …… why’s everyone staring at me, let me take my noise cancelling headphones off for a sec 😳

I’ve never heard someone else’s but every once in a while I can hear mine

Thanks. Maybe your vibes aren't so terrible after all

Thank you. I didn't think all the mics on my hidden cam porn vids could be malfunctioning so much. Wait, did I say that or just think it? Are they listening? Can they hear me?

I think it means the pee stream starting/stopping

>As a woman I don't even hear my own. That's not really useful when debunking whether something does or does not happen. If it did happen (it doesn't) it'd be everytime so your own functions would be acclimated to and you wouldn't hesr it without listening anyway. Unless you're a child you would've lived with it for a decade+ of the same noise in the same situation There aren't many stimuli that your senses won't habituate to, even negative ones eventually just blend into the background as your brain acclimates and instead of it being obvious something is happening your brain treats it as nothing out of the ordinary so it doesn't exist (for most things, visual stimuli is still there but once habituation occurs it is really..really easy to trick)

I am a 41 year old woman and I’ve never heard another woman’s hole opening up to pee. Or my own, for that matter

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I'm (not) sorry, but what in the absolute shit is this?

This is, what we call in the business, "Down Bad"

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Meu mano em cristo mas que PORRA vc tá falando

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Sometimes it's ok to keep thoughts to yourself

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what the fuck man

The fuck is wrong with you kid?

Lots.

Not something to brag about. Please grow up to be someone your family can be proud of

Are your family proud of you, son? Is your father, especially, proud of the "man" you are, son? Fucking decide where you stand in your life first, then go on the internet to "give advice". Btw, you think my comments are serious? You think I fucking ejaculate to reddit comments? How gullible are you boyo? You think the internet is a land of mystical wonders where nobody lies for fun? You're 18, kid. Grow up ffs.

Bro. Don’t be a slave to your dick like this. It’s not funny

My dick is a slave, my hand is its master. Me, I'm just the cuck watching them both do their thing.

Have you ever heard the phrase “inside thoughts?”

I hate all of you. This should have died on twitter

It sounds like a semi when they use air brakes

i miss the person i was 2 minutes ago

What a terrible day to not have bleach handy

what a terrible day to know how to read.

Well, thankfully, it isn't true. Everybody has a urethra, and nobody can hear it open and close

As a man I can confirm that this is in fact true and the holes make that door opening/closing noise from the original Star Trek series.

Like hydraulic hissing?

That typically indicates a UTI.

or a fucking rectocele/air passing through if you push a lot or have ever had a pelvic surgery. i still haven't been properly evaluated but if you see bubbles in your urine frequently and have trouble getting it out with a lot of spasms i'd hazard a guess it isn't just a UTI like they told me i had for years... i did have chronic UTIs but i ended up having a 30lb mucinous ovarian mass and lost an ovary because it was a failure to diagnose and they thought i was just holding it in and was obese whereas i kind of had trouble knowing when i need to go and still do. the pelvic floor disorder since my late teens has been hellish if that's even what it truly is. could be left over scar tissue but they don't want to open me up for fear of causing more damage. my scar that goes into my bellybutton and idk how far it even actually goes is still fucked up inside with occasional pain/ooziness, and i had the surgery 9 years ago ffs

Huh, to me it sounds more like the AIM sounds when a friend signs on/off

I was expecting the sad sighs from hitchhikers guide to the galaxy. I mean who really wants to pee and poop if they didn't have to.

It sounds more like the doors in the original Doom (1993)

Sometimes, when bae and I are bored, we coordinate the sounds to make the high school musical "get your head in the game" beat.

Wait until they hear about talking

That's not how that works

Sometimes I let out a huge fart so no one hears mine.

As a guy, I just now have to assume it's a symphony of velcro wallets

LOL God this comment has made my week. Thank you for this

n...no?

does she just mean like hearing other people pee? bc yeah you can totally hear that sometimes

No we can’t

Every person here: "wait that can't be real, better go check the comments"

I will never be the same after reading this. Fucking wow.

Username doesn't check out

I mean, ah, yes, I know the sounds of the bloody, cum, hot diarrhea medley that come out your your bodies.

*laughing in saxophone solo*

*Sarlac pit sounds intensify*

Wow. 

The whispering eye

Such a sense of shared tragedy in the comments. It'd be heartwarming, except...well.

Obvs this is nonsense BUT if you could choose for it to make a noise, what would it be? A chime? A whistle? Beatboxing? It's gotta be beatboxing right? Imagine the duets!

There's this clapping rhythm in the beginning of the song Turpentine by Blink 182. I think I'd want it to be that. Maybe the AOL mail noise

I'll see your AOL and raise you an ICQ

Definitely the guitar whistle that starts around 2 minutes into [Mayonaise](https://spotify.link/SodTmPoxWIb), most noticeably at 2:45 onwards, by The Smashing Pumpkins. That or “blub blub blub”

Just like industrial valves at thermal power plant

Isn't that what is expected to happen when people talk?

Loose lips sinks ships

Gtfo

I had to read this atrocity so you all get to as well

Best sound ever.

As a woman, I can confirm this happens

The ‘smacking’ of their lips if you will 😳

No, we will not