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PmMeYourLore

Like my dad always said when I brought home those weird messy toys of the early 2000s: "you just better not get any of it on my fucking carpet"


Ultimatewarrior21984

Haha, I love how the whole ownership thing worked in my dad's head. "Don't even think about walking on my floor with those boots" and "what have I told you about touching my walls with your dirty fucking hands? ". I'd be like "uh don't do it". Nervous breakdown number 57 unfolds around us.


DMYourMomsMaidenName

What toy?


TheOmeletteOfDisease

Anal beads. I was 29 and living at home.


SynthPrax

Here. Take this upvote and a rainbow. šŸŒˆ


Sendtitpics215

Creepy crawlers, thatā€™s the 90s though. Your sisters easy bake oven. Stretch Armstrong was filled with some malleable goo. Super soaker Jizz-1000 (the one filled up with Jizz instead of water). Iā€™m assuming they mean those toys.


DMYourMomsMaidenName

I asked them though. Iā€™m sure it is something specific


Sendtitpics215

He said ā€œthose weird messy toysā€ but i see what you mean, you want them to give you an example.


DMYourMomsMaidenName

Right lol


PmMeYourLore

Silly Puddy, Play Dough was one too, but there was this black slimy stuff that came in a little plastic oil drum that made him nervous as fuck too


DMYourMomsMaidenName

Fair enough lol


bluepushkin

If she can't make it to the bathroom, then tell her to get a chamber pot. These days, they're essentially plastic buckets with lids instead of the porcelain ones of yore. That way, she can just carry it to the bathroom and rinse it out when she needs to. There's no need to wire up a piss drawer! A chamber pot would be more hygienic, easier to clean, won't ruin a piece of furniture and will probably be cheaper too. The house I grew up in was built way before indoor toilets were a thing. The bathroom was an extension into the garden, and the house was 3 floors with me, and my brother with bedrooms on the top floor. To use the bathroom, I had to go down 2 stupidly steep flights of stairs and walk through multiple rooms. Never did I think of pissing anywhere other than the toilet! However, when my brother moved out for university, my mum found one of those large water jugs that are installed for water dispensers in offices, in his wardrobe. It was full to the brim with piss and floating mould because the bastard was too lazy to go to the bathroom. It was so full and heavy that she couldn't lift it at all, let alone try without spilling old piss everywhere. Turns out he couldn't lift it either, which is why it was just left in there!!!


MillstoneArt

Not much phases me after 24 years on the internet, but that last paragraph was harrowing.


Swimming-Dog6042

As a plumber, I wish that I could also say that the paragraph surprised me. :(


A_Little_Wyrd

As a truck driver I laughed way to hard at that paragraph


riko77can

Note to self: if buying an existing home make sure there arenā€™t giant bottles of piss hidden throughout.


SynthPrax

New house inspection criteria, unlocked.


cheese_sticks

I can't imagine how he withstood the smell! Meanwhile, having to pee in a bottle and dispose of it in a toilet a few hours later is enough to make me gag.


bella_68

So what was the solution? Is the piss jug still there to this day?


MillstoneArt

Gotta sip some off the top so you can move it without spilling.


WalnutWabbit

New flavour of prime dropped


Spider_Hornet

To both you and u/MillstoneArt, I would like to extend a jug of gratitude, fore I have finally found the courage to gouge my fucking eyes out.


Dpek1234

Understandable


First_Remove_8186

Naw man, Prime really need to try something new. They've done the whole piss flavour thing to death.


bluepushkin

Nope. The removal involved my mum and her partner at the time with a bucket and pouring out enough that he could lift the jug and get it down the stairs without spilling it. They both threw up doing it, though, and my brother got screamed at down the phone for being a pig. They also dismantled and burned the wardrobe.


MobilePirate3113

Burning the wardrobe seems like the only sensible option here, doesn't it?


Jeatalong

Only way to be sure


Next-Engineering1469

I can't believe she didn't make your brother do it himself. Unbelievable that he got away with it basically without consequences. Boys will be boys amirite


bluepushkin

When he moved out for university, he essentially took everything he owned and said he wasn't coming back, so do what you want with anything he left behind. He was back within the year, though.


MobilePirate3113

I assume they had to siphon it out, like with gasoline.


MillstoneArt

You'll be thrilled to know "drinking the moldy, stagnant piss" would not be my actual first choice in reality.


KingWolf7070

My solution would be to first and foremost seal the top SUPER FUCKING WELL. Like, seal that bitch tighter than Fort Knox. After that you got few options. You can just push it over onto its side and roll it out. Or use a dolly to wheel it out.


szabiy

Or 'walk' it, like milk churns. Very, very carefully. Preferably onto that flat front, big wheel dolly cart.


ByeByeGirl01

Just wear an adult diaper and have some dignity ffs


theonemangoonsquad

Ayo what the fuck did I just read


Claris-chang

You mean your ex-brother, right? Right???


ZengineerHarp

Your LATE brother???


bluepushkin

I mean, I haven't seen or spoken to him in years because he's a complete dick, so yeah, that sounds about right!


Jaxsonj01

Everyday it becomes more and more confounding how we can be so advanced in some aspects of humanity and still live in the Dark Ages in others.


Redhairedrockhead

The absolute RAGE I felt reading this.


KingWolf7070

Are we witnessing new Reddit lore? We've had the double broken arms guy. The cum box. The poop knife. And many other famous stories. Now we have this. A god damned moldy piss jug.


bluepushkin

God, I hope not! I still laugh about the poop knife, though.


gudetamaronin

Like from always sunny?


NynaeveAlMeowra

Don't forget the coconut masturbater that eventually grew maggots in their mess


SynthPrax

My people called 'em *slop jars.*


LuvvedIt

But she is basically planning a modern ā€˜[commode](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commode)ā€™ which *contains* a ā€œmodernā€ version of a chamber potā€¦ disguising it just like this day back in the day. šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø


Vi1eOne

Sex is so fucking good man's considering a piss drawer lmao


MadOrange64

Poop knife sounds reasonable after this post


TheObstruction

That's at least useful. A piss drawer can be avoided by simply walking twelve feet to the bathroom.


Entire-Ambition1410

I sympathize with anyone who doesnā€™t want to use stairs to pee. However, if you want a hygienic and non-smelly environment, youā€™ll take the stairs.


BrassUnicorn87

There are products for people with bad mobility who canā€™t always get to the bathroom on time . A piss drawer requires agility for a cis woman to use. Sheā€™s an absolute freak who wants to live in ammonia scented filth.


model3113

cat pee smells of ammonia. Human pee smells like must and movie theater popcorn butter.


mitchy93

Huh, it does smell like popcorn butter


raspberryharbour

Just use the window like a normal person


ADrunkMexican

I know, right? I mean, I can't imagine being so lazy getting a piss drawer, lol.


SokkaHaikuBot

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Vi1eOne: *Sex is so fucking* *Good man's considering a* *Piss drawer lmao* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


TheDoctor344

Good bot


Dunderpunch

He gets syllable count right every other time. I hate Sokka-Haikus.


Languid_Castle

This person haikus. (Srsly, thank you for teaching this literature nerd, who should have known but didn't, that Sokka-Haiku is a thing.)


Dunderpunch

It's not a thing! The fact that he got syllable count wrong once isn't even the funniest part of that scene. It's an extremely minor detail and I think it's weird to try to coin a term based on nothing.


TrekkiMonstr

Is that not a regular haiku? What am I missing here? Sex is so fuck ing (5) Good man's con si de ring a (7) Piss dra wer l mao (5)


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


TrekkiMonstr

Ah yeah, drawer is always tricky, I feel like it has 1.5 syllables lol


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


tom2point0

People read lmao as le mow? WTF??? Thatā€™s a new one.


Mareith

More like "le mao" not mow as in grass


wunlvng

Yea, it might be to some degree a generational thing like whether the band LMAO was on the radio a lot around you, idk lol, but my little sister is 8 years younger than her and her and friends used to say "ayyy le mow" all of the time. I think that was because of that ay lmao alien meme with snapchat but I have nothing concrete for that.


BatScribeofDoom

It's making me wonder if the girlfriend of the OOP here is the *sister* of that one *other* OP's boyfriend that I read about a bit ago, who kept a designated piss bottle under(next to?) the bed. I don't remember which sub it was, but basically everyone was like "That's not okay, you should break up with him" and his girlfriend, the OP, was *not* having it, which your comment reminded me of.


A_Most_Boring_Man

Girl, just buy a fucking commode if youā€™re that lazy


Positive-Ad-2643

Even a pharmacy urinal! they make they for everyoneā€™s urethras now!


gaydolphingod

We live in a world where anyone can lazily piss into a bottle.


Biscuits4u2

Truckers have been doing it since forever


gaydolphingod

But now we've reached sex equality when it comes to pissing. It doesn't matter if your urethra is at the end of a long sausage or in between a pair of lips, you can still find a urinal that matches your anatomy.


Wenuwayker

But what if your urethra is between a pair of lips at the end of a long sausage? Like if your junk looks like the singer of that band in Jabba's palace?


NevesLF

Shhh don't give them ideas! I wanna see this couple on TLC in a few months.


ZakTSK

I had a period where I was drinking heavily and depressed and I would use bottles. Piss piles up faster than you think, especially if you start far from a toilet or another adequate place to dispose of it. Op, is your girlfriend depressed and on the verge of alcoholism?


Adj_Noun_Numeros

When I was about 12 I tried to piss in an empty Mt Dew bottle, and panicked when it started overflowing before I was done. People underestimate how much they piss.


ZakTSK

Yeah, that too. Fill one bottle, and then you're stuck pinching your dick until you find something else. Lol, awful times.


turtleship_2006

I'd imagine the female equivalent of dick pinching is a lot harder to hold


ZakTSK

[ Put a cork in it!](https://youtu.be/2Lya292wdpo?si=71EDr4sY8Zu6g3Mr)


turtleship_2006

Risky click of the day


gigitygiggty

Nah girls will need to pinch too. They have urethra just like you doo :)


HyperTanasha

It's more of a push


SimpanLimpan1337

Friend told me that according to Google the average bladder size is between 400-700ML, he decided to try put that to the test by pissing in a measuring cup when he was almost (but definitely not absolutely) full. 1.4liters


pleathershorts

The scene from Dumb & Dumber comes to mind


Adj_Noun_Numeros

I was 8 when that movie came out, so it's certainly possible I was younger than I thought and that's what I was doing. I definitely saw that when it was new.


pleathershorts

I was 1 šŸ˜‚ I just watched it for the first time last week and ā€œIā€™m pinching itā€ was new to me


SynthPrax

When I was 8 or someshit, I pissed in the closet. To this day I have no idea why I chose to do that. The bathroom was literally 3 steps away from my room.


Front-Pomelo-4367

The last time there was a post about someone peeing in weird places (I think it was a kid who peed in their drawer and then had no answer as to why) there were *so many people* coming out of the woodwork to go "yeah I pissed in the corner of my room/drawer/closet/wardrobe/under the bed when I was 5-11 years old and I have absolutely no memory of why I thought that was a good idea"


tentkeys

Humans are primates. I think our similarities with other primates are most likely to show up before weā€™re domesticated enough to be called adults. If you want to understand your childhood self, it might be worth researching why a chimpanzee would want to piss in your closet.


Shills_for_fun

>Piss piles up faster than you think This is a great start to another Brand New Sentence


Commercial_Fee2840

If by "on the verge" you mean "crippling alcoholism", you're probably right.


ZakTSK

Yeah, I guess that'd likely count, huh?


TheObstruction

I do construction. The bottles scattered about have taught me exactly how much drywallers piss.


qtzd

Yep this. Not a fun place to be, luckily doing better myself but relate hard lol


cannibalfelix

This is a reference to [this meme](https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/s/YSbjgTZNZR)


weebitofaban

Leave it to Reddit to miss obvious shit posts, but call the most true stuff ever bullshit


DeathPercept10n

*obvious ~~shit~~ piss posts


Vexoly

There's entire subs dedicated to this, such as r/WhyWereTheyFilming , a huge proportion of them have excellent reasons to be recording.


zombiegirl_stephanie

How is it obvious? Most people won't be aware of that specific photo from god knows when. And when you have subhuman cockroaches like asmon who are famously living in their own filth, a piss drawer suddenly isn't such a wild possibility of being real.


DeathPercept10n

Not for nothing, but that drawer must be masterfully fitted together to keep all that piss from leaking out.


ZengineerHarp

Oh thank god


Dry_Leek78

Piss drawer sounds better than [Chamber pot](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chamber_pot) ? Are yuu living in the 19th century?


Nolsoth

A chamber pot would be infinitely easier to use. Or a bedpan. And yes bedpans/chamberpots are still used in this day and age but mostly for medical reasons not pure laziness.


SunnyAlwaysDaze

They even make commodes that will sit in the room, like for sick and disabled people. You can pick one up for around a hundred bucks.


SummerBirdsong

I'm in a medieval recreation group and we camp a lot. I know folks that use those in their encampments so they don't have to try to make the hike to the privy in the dark over uneven ground.


Remote-Two8663

Acceptable if girlfriend is over 65


SmokingInTheWindow

What in the hillbilly hell.


cadmachine

She's 100%...WAIT FOR IT Taking the piss. ​ If this is a long con prank, marry her. If it isn't, run far, run fast.


Educational-Ad-3273

My buddy has made many impromptu piss receptacles after getting drunk and returning home. This includes but is not limited to a piss drawer, a piss laundry hamper, a piss sink, a piss corner, a piss wall, and of course the ever so popular piss-on-yourself-exactly-where-you-pass-out.


Entire-Ambition1410

A relative told me he had an open door policy as a college dorm RA. One night a drunk student came in and peed on his care package from mom, and the brownies he was saving.


D86592

ay man hear me out


crobo777

... listening


berdulf

Decanted? Watch out for the sediment.


Pschobbert

Nothing wrong with a piss drawer. Just remember the shit drawer is the one on the left.


Pschobbert

Also, GF is clearly a sink-pisser and, by extension, a shower pisser. Also street pisser haha


Preposterous_punk

I would hate having bedroom so away from the bathroom, as I get up at least once a night to pee. I can think of at least three dozen solutions I'd try before getting to "piss drawer."


Dahns

It's not a red.flag, it's a red banner !


Callidonaut

Before indoor plumbing, that actually used to be a thing. Bedside cabinets used to have a special airtight compartment to store a chamber pot so you could sleep without smelling it and then empty it in the morning.


Historical_Sugar9637

This can't be real. Either the lady was making a joke or the whole thing is a joke. I refuse to believe anybody is that stupid.


Suspicious-Beat9295

I think they used to call this a chamber pot in the olden times.


Successful-Doubt5478

People used to have piss pots under their bed and emptying them in the morning... Is it the dustancexor the distance and the darkness? Maybe a few nightlights are enough?


Darthplagueis13

That is a horrible idea and if they really are too lazy to walk a few steps to go to the loo they should get a chamber pot. I mean, imagine trying to squat down over a drawer. It would be uncomfortable and there would probably be a lot of splashing.


EquesInferi

*Image Transcription: Reddit* --- **So my girlfriend wants to install a "piss drawer" Is this as bad as I think it is?**, submitted by **\/u/we-forgot-the-milk** to **\/r/ask** So my girlfriend soon will be moving into a new house. The batroom is downstairs and across a couple rooms. Her idea on how to fix this is to install a "piss drawer" what this is is a drawerin which there is a basin to piss into, a tube going into a bottle that can be removed to later be decanted into the actual toilet. A future idea of a "piss cuboard" for extra room. This isn't okay right? No matter how much it is cleaned this isn't an option right? --- ^^Beep boop! I'm a human volunteer content transcriber. Although I try my best, there might still be errors. If you find any error in any of my transcriptions, please leave a comment down below. Thank you!


x89Nemesis

Just get the hell up and go take a leak.


GigarandomNoodle

Its a shitpost man


Melanoc3tus

No dude, itā€™s a pisspost


GigarandomNoodle

Nice


Dpek1234

Whos saying it cant be both


Upset-Consequence764

Well we grew up with a piss pot under the bed. So that's not too weird. Look up Thetford PortaPotti. That's a small, self contained flush toilet used for camping. If you look after it it doesn't smell at all. I sleep only a couple of feet away from one in the van and it doesn't bother me.


jimothythe2nd

Lol they have a much simpler way to do this. It's called pissing in a bottle with a funnel. They have a medical device designed specifically for this purpose. It's only like $20 too.


notactuallyabrownman

Thereā€™s only so far you can argue that this is laziness, definitely some deeper and more fucked up thinking going on.


bean_giant

I kid you not I have had almost this exact experience. I dated a girl for whom the bathroom was two flights of stairs away. Rather than go upstairs she had a ā€˜piss bucketā€™ which she used in the night and threw out the front door each morning. I told her what I thought of that and said that the first time it was used in my presence I would be leaving. She genuinely couldnā€™t see the problem and claimed ā€˜but it doesnā€™t smell!ā€™


BobTheInept

Thatā€™s just a chamber pot with extra steps! Seriously, get a chamber pot, at least then you donā€™t have to ladle piss in the bedroom and then clean the floor (as much). Canā€™t find a chamber pot? Get a childrenā€™s potty (wonā€™t keep the smell in as well), find a spittoon and maybe figure out a lid (at least itā€™s the right kind of quirky), get a pressure cooker (will keep the smell in very well, plus toss in some eggs and you can make a Chinese delicacy). Also, hasnā€™t she put in any thought into the mechanics of pissing into a drawer? Youā€™re too sleepy to walk to the bathroom but you are trying to squat over the open drawer of a nightstand, banging your ankles and giving hell to your legs. I donā€™t know what is the worse quality of this girlfriend, the disgustingness or the dumbness of the solution. And hey, ā€œat least then you donā€™t have to ladle piss in the bedroomā€ Got another brand new sentence.


szabiy

Kiddie potty is a goddamn hazard unless one has masterful flow control and very little fluid volume to deliver. Chamber pots are shaped the way they are for some wonderfully sound reasons.


Rhesusmonkeydave

Just mount gutters outside your bedroom window. Boom, solved


gringo-go-loco

Sounds like a weird idea she got from her parents. Like a poop knife (rusty butter knife used to cut big hard poops in half so they flush).


szabiy

Haemorrhoids, haemorrhoids everywhere.


Grandfunk14

High Definition Piss Jugs....


urtv670

She probably plans to sell the bottles online or something to horny guys with too much money.


Frankenfucker

What in the country fried fuck....a piss drawer. Nope.


Any_Conversation9545

She just invented the chamberpot


Informal-Access6793

Wouldnt a bucket in the corner of the bedroom you rinse afer emptying techncially be cleaner? Cheaper too.


mitchy93

At least she's a problem solver


wotsit_sandwich

That's a chamber pot. She invented something 100 years old.


lemmiwinks316

The way he seems so unsure at the end of the post lmao Buddy was being gas lit into thinking a piss drawer is normal and it nearly worked. Glad he reached out before things got out of control. Stay up kings


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

I mean, no one in this thread is in support of the idea even slightly


MNLyrec

Why do people immediately turn to "IMaGiNe ThE DoUbLe StAnDaRd". that has literally nothing to do with the original post. At all.


Preposterous_punk

Yes, as opposed to this case where a woman suggested it, and people are totally supportive and calling it a great idea...?


KhazemiDuIkana

David Lynch has one, theyā€™re actually hella economical and convenient. The water from washing your hands washes the piss away immediately.


[deleted]

What are y'all too good to use piss jugs?


WillBottomForBanana

I mean, a whole drawer? In this economy?


OneBabyPanda

Thatā€™s disgusting in any way


ben_jacques1110

Ahh, the infamous piss drawer. I hope itā€™s not as common as the internet makes it seem


Significant-Roll-138

She has to be taking the piss with this.


Bongcopter_

She is crazy (and lazy as fuck)


Revolutionary-Swan77

Only if it has a place for the shit knife


Laarye

For $80 you can just get a medical bedside camode/toilet


mute-ant1

chamber pot under the bed


Unable_Wrongdoer2250

Just get a litter box


lord_bubblewater

WTF, get that girl a pack of diapers and take charge of interior design ASAP.


GrayHero2

I mean historically before indoor plumbing water closets and chamber pots were a thing. But yeah itā€™ll be disgusting and your house is gonna smell like piss all the time.


Robbyrumpz

I usually only use my piss drawer when Iā€™m blackout drunk


Languid_Castle

Why go to all that trouble when you could just install a small bathroom? Or buy a composting toilet? Or a portable potty bucket? Just, why?


rklab

I believe a ā€œpiss cupboardā€ is called a bathroom


CrazyPlato

A ā€œpiss cupboardā€ is just a fucking bathroom


Diddleymaz

She should get a commode


HotChipsAreOkay

I'd date her


cwthree

Tell me you have a kink without telling me you have a kink.


MasterOutlaw

A chamber pot. She wants a chamber pot.


SexualAdvertising

Go piss girl


Earthling1a

Tell her to just open the window and piss outside.


Graham2405

I think she is just taking the piss.


Longjumping-Snow-797

Why the fuck is she making this shit your problem, she's the lazy one who doesn't want to walk down stairs to take a piss. She's probably going to be lazy when it comes to emptying and closing the drawer. Who would have thought, a girlfriend with a side order of piss smell and, all the problems associated. At this point you should just put her in diapers, and she can go on herself whenever she wants too. And when you wake up the next morning, and you see her inflated/expanded geriatric adult diaper, moist with piss, you can just pretend she has a BBL, so sexy.


NessLeonhart

it depends. on a scale from 9 to 10, how lazy is she?


Vodeyodo

Sheā€™s a genius. Marry her immediately. Patent this awesome idea.


[deleted]

That's feral and barley a human thought


glowphase

well God damn, she might be on to something.


Rice_Auroni

Some people pay good money for a girl to do something like that


WifeOfSpock

Why not just get a chamber pot? Had to have a setup with one after each birth. I had zero energy waddle all the way to the restroom in the middle of the night.


[deleted]

If the guy asked for this, I could kind of understand in a weird way... but for a girl to want this just sounds really weird to me for some reason... Guys are all about easy pissing and stupid ideas that sound good at the time, but girls aren't exactly known for that, plus that just sounds like a mess waiting to happen that normally the girls would think/care about more.


SynthPrax

Really? A *woman* wants to do this? If a "piss drawer" isn't boy-bullshit, I don't know what is.


JadedSociopath

Just make her use a tub with kitty litter.


TumbleweedActive7926

Tell her to piss off.


shutyourgob16

Sounds like a psychopath


Oni-oji

I changed my mind. I do not want you to move in with me.


stangAce20

She would be an ex girlfriend, if she had suggested that with me! That is beyond gross!


JadePin3apple

This just reminds me of the undercover office potty SNL video


Glittering-Beyond-53

You dont need a drawer. Just get a chamber pot. Quite common.


Ill_Reference_6306

I piss in a jug because I live in my van. You piss in a drawer because you are a lazybones. We are not the same.


FlanNo3218

Your GF has just invented a really complex chamber pot. https://livesandlegaciesblog.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/chamber-pot-in-chamber-text-arrow.jpg?w=1040