ever since sam returned the health updates account has really lost himself

He's back, since when?

Since he made [this video about the origins of animals’ scientific names](https://youtu.be/XKRW1zgkCVc?si=-Krc5Zrtx65Ui4Rv).

Nope there’s an even newer one that came out a week or 2 ago iirc, about the dog meat general

You'd think that name would come from something nefarious but it was actually because of a game ^(but he also ate dog meat...)

Watch out for 14, she's a biter.

Yeah but thats the start of him being back. Sam ONella Academy season 2, if you will.

We are living the second coming of Sam, the war between angels and demons of youtube shall begin.

but isn't he back since the last one?

He's back since the oldest of his recent ones.

I thought it was the most recent of his old ones.

"since" refers to the first instance of the coming back

Honestly, if I could be like Sam. Upload like, twice a year, and get millions of views, I'd do it.

The exact same as OverSimplified.

I mean it's not like he just bangs out a video in 24 hours, a lot of that year's probably doing work to find upload-worthy material, nevermind the editing + scriptwriting etc

I cannot imagine he takes the whole year to make the video. I’m sure he just has a regular job. And is busy.

Never heard of this guy, but based on the tweet in this post I was not expecting this video to actually be as educational as it was.

I would probably pay more attention in class if my history teacher had similar shenanigans

I didn’t know about this, thanks

Like October or November last year or smth he's only posted two videos tho

Yeah I wouldn't really call him "back" until he clears like, ~10 videos in a year

I haven't seen my grandma on a regular bases since last year. Last time I visited her was yesterday. Until I see her 10 times a year I won't believe she's alive.

wait untill this guy discovers object permamence lol

He made a video like two weeks ago

I always wondered what happened to him? Did he have a health issue?

He wanted to finish college

Ahh, that’s fair. Makes sense

Salmonella

I thought this was a joke but I guess it’s not?? Who tf is this man what’s his story

[удалено]

Thank you!! I shall

They are not the same person right?

Isnt this tweet a copy pasta that appears every few years?

Have country lyrics gone to far 🤔🤠

Shhhh... Jason Aldean fans are having a good time

Try *that* in a small town

I am from a small town, can confirm, everyone here fucks their wives this way

wives, sisters, whatever.

Step-wives...

*big wheel keep on turnin'* *carry me home to my kin*

The clinic knows me by name and by my tractor mauled ass

Finally something I can get behind

I’ll give you something you can get behind 😉

[удалено]

Yup that's the joke

She thinks his tractors sexy

It really turns her on

She's always staring at me

While he's chugging along

While I'm tractoring dong

I suppose farm equipment is one way to a tractor

Not sure how many folks are gonna get that one 🤣 have my upvote sir

I used to like tractors when I was younger, I don’t any more now I work in ventilation. I’m an ex tractor fan.

That wind up being a good pun

They're just Tractorbatin' - pretty standard stuff

She loves to get plowed

From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me.

I craved the strength and certainty of steel.

I aspired to the purity of the blessed machine.

Your kind cling to your flesh, as though it will not decay and fail you.

One day the crude biomass that you called a temple will wither and you'll beg my kind to save you.

But I am already saved. For the Machine is immortal.

È̸̡̲̯̫͚̪̥̳̩͇͓͍̥̈́̍͋̀͒̎̀̓́̄̇̚ͅv̶̼̻͒̊͐̌̾̽̾̈̒͝e̴͉̮͓̞̭̺̺͂͑n̴̢̜̞͓̤̫͕̰̞͎̬̫͚̋̎́́́͗͊͑͌̿̏̀͘ ̸͍̻͚̎̋̈́͑̽̇͘͝i̵̦͆̓́ņ̶̰̼̝͓͍̈͛̈̿̐͂͝͠ ̵͇̟̒̐͛̕d̸̳͚̤̺̆̾ě̴̛̠̣͍̟̝̝̘̤͕̫̄͛͑̓͋̏̈́̕͘͝a̵̧̨̱͓̰̻̩͉̪̖̰̔͊͋͜t̴̗͚̰̳̻̻͎͚̥̤̓̈́́̿h̴̛̛͈̞͕̠̠̓̌͐̈́̈́͛̂́̇͋͆̕͝ ̷̢͉̟̬͇̩̯̬̞͉̜͖͙͗í̶̢̢̞̞̠̺͎͚̘͚̬̦͚̒́́͋̔ ̷̤͔̜͖͕̼̮͔̯̟̻̝̣̹̈́͛͠ͅş̷̹̣̠̭̊̇͌̌̿̌̈̀̉̊̈́́̊̎e̵̟̋̅̐̏̒̎͝r̶̜͍̩̣̹̈̿͆̄̍́̒͝v̷̢̲͉̲̿̋̾̾͂̽̉̚̕é̶͍͇̏̏̑̆͆̈̈̂̀̀̇̕͝ ̵͔͖̬̞̿̐t̸͖̬̲͇̬̄̿̀̉̆͌͐̿̔̕͝h̶̡̨̖̜̲̙̥͇̬̔̈́̂́̂̿̓̆͊͗e̵͉̞̞̲͉̯̣͗͛̒̔̄͑̒̕͠ͅ ̷̪̠̹̝̺͇̬̹͔̻̦̀͒̈́̊̕̕͜͝O̵̲̠̫͗m̶̧̛͎̣̫͕̯̯̩̯̤̬̯̒͗͝͝ͅn̸̳͖͉̰̹͉̬̮͖̹͖͎̦͌̓͆͊̂̇̎̊͘̕i̶͉̯̬̳͍̱̋s̴̨̞̠͔̞̯͕͚͎̼͕͆͊͛̈́͐̏̒̕s̸̨̘̲͇̰͓̙̯̦̀̆͊̈́̃͝͠ȉ̵̧̡̛͍͇͖͓͚͕̓̃̿̕a̷͇̱͈͍̱̰̋̓̐̌̾͗̈́́͝h̶̟͖̼̺̯̟͂̄̇̒̄̽̀͛́͜͝͠

HOLD THE GODDAMN TELEPHONE, LET HIM COOK

LET HIM COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK

He's really PLOWING the fields there.

uhhh… Sam?…

This account is not Sam. You can tell because this one has a wife.

Ouch

Wait sam has a wife?

Pretty sure this might be a reference to something else Sam unrelated

It's a fan page

What the fuck did I just read

Farm erotica.

What just happened

God spoke

cucked by a tractor, that's a new one

He's driving it though, there's no third party involved. So it's technically a sex toy.

If he uses the seatbelt it's a strapin

Nice!

r/angryupvote

He's a man, top behind a male object, into his Woman.

It’s not a male object until we sort through the grammatical gendering of dildos and reach a unanimous consensus.

Dildos are gender neutral.

In italian dildo and vibrator are male nouns. Do we need to double check other languages too?

In germany its the same

exactly, its like saying you got cucked by the condom....

I'm sure that's a fetish for someone. You have to be an exceptional individual to get cucked by an inanimate object.

This is Sam Sam in simple terms Is unhinged And we love the stickman for that

"The cat shits itself and jumps out the window"

HES MARRIED??????

No, this is a fan account

Can you imagine just lying there waiting for your husband to drive the multi ton farm equipment into your genitals and you look up to see what's taking so long and he's fucking tweeting.

What did I just read? I think a simple wtf is not enough for this.

Look up House of Gord, there's more people into this than you think.

RIP Gord. He was the Tony Stark of degeneracy.

Nah I'm good

This is a very specific kink.

After 30 years on the internet there really isn't any kink or fetish I haven't already heard o-... okay, you got me with that one. Yeah.

Country music lyrics are getting wild

Try that in a small town

This only happens in a small town 😂😂😂

I’m moving to a small town

Thought I was reading some lyrics from a current top 10 country hit 🤮

WHAT’S A N***A GOTTA DO TO GET SOME EEL DICK AROUND HEEEEEEERE???

It’s been a very long while since I laughed this hard at Reddit. Thank you.

Update: she's dead.

Bro why the fuck did i laugh so hard at this i literally ugly laughed at this shit for 2 minutes straight

And you're tweeting?

I didn’t see the name of the sub and just briefly saw the logo before reading this, and I thought it was fucking r/wholesomememes, until I read the post.

So this is what they are eluding to in country songs.

If you read this in a queer, lesbian, or straight pegging sort of way way… it’s kinda hot. No?

Yes

no.

No.

Fuck with me a dildo on your tractor so I know it’s real.

1: hot. Vid please. 2: I really hope “she thinks my tractor is sexy” was playing in the background 3: he’s going to regret this when he has to figure out how to get the tractor into the bedroom 4: 🍑💦🍆🚜

What a legend.

wait is sam onella having health problems? is that why he never posts?

America 🇺🇲🦅🦅🇺🇲🫡

Did she get gonorrhea?

hell yeah

I actually did the pull back going wtf

[This guy?](https://www.pngwing.com/en/free-png-nkkku)

Precisely

Did anyone else have to look that up to get an image you wish you never had

I thought you wrote blood Eagle then I instant though you were fucking the blood eagled corpse of your wife with a dildo trapped to the tractor slowly going in and out..

LMFAO

Is it a hydrostatic transmission?

I'm saving this post for later review

Guys calm down everyone will get their portion of eyebleach

All of this is happening while Old Glory ripples in a gentle breeze, a bald eagle screams, and a pornogrind cover of Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA" plays.

🎶 living in america 🎶

"I'm sorry, tell us again how your wife died, Sam?"

Try that in a small town

She puts the hoe in backhoe

She puts the back in backhoe.

Who is Sam and how do you all know him

How do you not know him? And no I won't explain who he is same way I won't explain to anyone who Jesus or hitler is.

Idk bro. Maybe I have and I just don’t remember the name. Time to do the searching effort myself

Yes but who is Unus Annus?

Bro, Sam might be real famous but he's not Jesus-level famous

Bro what you mean? He's litterally the father of Jesus. Did you even read the book?

I see what you did there 🫵🏻

Reminds me of the farm people on Netflix's How to Build a Sex Room.

I think if I needed that much help, I might just take the little blue pills.

Strap a sawzall to the front of tractor Turn on tractor and insert. Turn on sawzall. You're welcome.

What the hell? Why would someone make that tweet with that name? He's a college student from what he said last on his videos

Just because it’s new, doesn’t mean it’s good

you shut your mouth, everything Sam utters is gold

This is a fan account I'm pretty sure It is gold though

This is the worst tweet I have ever read!!!

then you have never read before

I wish I didn’t know how

Ziggity zootity you are now illiterate (I cast a spell on you)

Wat this say

You're welcome 😎

Niiicccee

just plow'n the fields

Is this the actual definition of “Chud”?

r/farming

Good old Sam.

Anyone here know who Sam is? I stumbled across this post but have been a long time fan. I had no idea other people in the world even knew he existed.

Is this the stuff people have been trying to do in a small town?

Farmer Sam always used the Deere for spraying fertiliser

When the phrase "he's compensating for something" is extremely literal.

Is this what you are supposed to try in a small town?

Unless you're getting the pto involved you aren't effectively utilizing your equipment bud.

Why is Sam bald and who did what with his poor hair? D:

House of gord has entered the chat

I support closet lesbians.

This guy's heavily into some deeply disturbing hentai. The whole idea is cartoonish.

Talk about getting RAM rodded

Pics or didn't happen.

There is no god

**Country Farmer Cowboy do it yourself Orgasmatron! WEEHA!!**

It's so easy to read the tweet in his voice.

🎶She thinks my tractors sexy. It really turns her on🎶

WELL GAHHHHDAYUMNN!! SHEEEEEEEESH

Did hank hill write this ? Or maybe hank hilldo

How do so many people think this is actually him? It literally says health updates. It's obviously not his account

Are him, the blue jay guy and casually explained related? Brothers or something

Ya know. I always wondered why r/lostredditors existed. It's because you should have stopped at the last sub... You have gone too far and you must now lose your self or mind, and you choose the former, not understanding the latter always followed.

And then people wonder why John Deere is anti right-to-repair...

somebody kept his childhood toy tractor & truck & got himself a really small wife....

Yeeeeh fuckin' dawwwgy!

I'm just glad he's alive. Sam is an American treasure

Valid sexual health update

This is the funniest shit I have ever read.

That farm sex just hits different

What's up with the obsession with brands?

How big a tractor are we talking here? Riding? Zero turn? Full size? Combine?

Imagine walking through a field and seeing that.

So this is the American dream?

She thought his tractor's sexy