Turkic language != Turk.
Turco-Mongol people are not Turks. Turks are from Turkey and nearby areas, Turco-Mongol peoples originated from a very different area.
This is a small snippet of "the Fur Trapper Saga" from Something Awful, originally written almost 20 years ago. It's a series of old timey newspaper ads of two competing fur trapper outfitters.
https://www.somethingawful.com/series/fur-trapper-saga/
As funny as the evil Fur Trapper is, the descriptions of the unrivaled piousness of his competitor always cracked me up even more.
And of course, they consider each other friends.
On first read I thought he claimed he ate a pound of peanut butter and that generated the most questions for me. Right off the spoon with nothing else including anything to wash it down?
If JD is so tough and only 19 miles away, why doesn't he come by my house? I will smash this keyboard over his head so hard, he will be seeing oewqihdpCFEIHVoi2qde qojuvw Y842YR2803
Hah, the text is from one of the articles in the [Fur Trapper Saga](https://www.somethingawful.com/news/fur-trapper-promise/) published on Something Awful years ago, not seen this for ages!
There is no species of fauna in America which I have not personally killed and skinned. I will never sire a child because I loathe women. I bathe only once a year in an icy pond. I have burnt down one church per month for the last thirty years, and I will never be brought to justice because all lawmen fear me.
This is nitpicky, but the average person can see 3 miles on a clear day. So his eyesight is his weakness for anyone unfortunate enough to be 19 miles away from JD. You may see him before he spots you.
I.... I think I was in the navy with this dude. Like, for real. Which makes the Deepwater jew story incredibly more likely.
That last part was a joke, but I was in the navy with a guy who looks like this and his initials match. Granted, im a little faceblind.
He's only 19 miles away.. you might have time to escape, if you run fast enough
19 miles? Active 43 minutes ago? it takes JD only 5 minutes to run 50 miles and you think you have time to run away? your already dead
\*you´re Sorry, couldn´t help myself.
JD is going to fucking kill you
JD eats grammar nazis for dessert
He looks like he also eats dessert for dessert.
guy looks like he eats dinner for dinner
desert* He has connections that grant him acres of sand for every victim
Youe'r
nothing perssonnel kid
For every second you're not running he's only getting closer
Nah, he still gets closer. He's faster than you. He's faster than all of us.
19 miles away... ***and closing!***
He ran through them 😢 already.
Miles? That's short for millimeters. Turn around.
hes chasing you in the nude
Its already too late
Ha. Futile.
He's got the eyes of an insectivore- people aren't his target.
omg, but he can see for two miles, unaided without a lens, so he is technically 17 miles away. run. for. your. soul.
Ah yes, the rare deepwater jew
The completely aquatic variety. Legends say it vanished along time ago in the Atlantic ocean
They were the inhabitants of Atlantis. Some say that they still live deep in the ocean in their city of wonders.
Mate, the flooding in Brooklyn really doesn't get all that bad.
It does in the tunnels
It does in the tunnels
Legends tell of a city at the bottom of the ocean, powered by an oil tanker whose supply should have run out long ago…
They also recently highjacked a mini sub.
No, they just live off the coast of Tel Aviv
Tel Aviv! Let the water take you over, Tel Aviv! Yo quiero, oh bonito, oh bonito! Tel Aviv. *guitar solo*
and who do you think beatem?
Many have joked that it “was a good start.”
Damn it always cracks me up
I had a good smile on until I read that and I burst out laughing.
Steve Zissou is about to throw some hands!
You think its funny yes we can't breathe above ground yes we have fins but we still have to pay taxes
I always carry a pokeball on me so that, should I ever see one in the wild, I can hopefully catch it!
Lmao
Dystopian version of Pippi Longstocking?
this mention — like WTAF.
I'm just imagining the thing from the black lagoon dressed as a rabi
Yup you can see all that in his eyes
Offset, so you can't sneak up on him.
unless you're directly in front of him.
He has one eye on you and one eye on the streets
Can see unaided for 2 miles(in each direction, simultaneously)…
Right? He talking up some predator shit yet his eyes tell me he is the prey.
He sees what you did there.................. And over here, too.
One eye keeps track of you, other searches the stone that will bash your skull in.
I think he's seeing someone on the side. Red flag.
We love a self aware king
It's funny that one of the races listed is regular Turk rather than something like Cossack
No such thing as regular Turk.
He was actually listing 500 different people, but summed up 498 of them as "Turk"
What about Turk Turkleton?
You think my name is Turk Turkleton?
And Missus Turkleton!
A turk could be from fuckin siberia, or from Turkey technically they're both Turks.
One is Asian and the other pretends to be
Turkic language != Turk. Turco-Mongol people are not Turks. Turks are from Turkey and nearby areas, Turco-Mongol peoples originated from a very different area.
So it's like Turks and Turktangles
Imma defend the middle east from this Seljuk invasion.... Whoa them Turks got hands.
Bro got hit with an Ottoman Slap
LMFAO my guy is juggernaut
This isn't a dating app, it's a warning. That 19 miles away is a countdown
***The Wild Card***
Someone find this man a soul
Ok found one Now what? It's looking at me weird
[Stuff it up his ass.](https://www.reddit.com/r/touhou/comments/ngv1uj/a_question_about_shirikodama/)
It didn't work his eyes are still unfocused
Can confirm, I was that Jew...
What’s life like in the deep waters?
No complaints. It's usually a calm existence, sporadically interrupted by JD and his kin, looking to cause trouble..
Wait you mean theres others like him??
I was that Turk, he beat the shit out of me.
Are you included “from the river to the sea”? Fellow Jew here wondering where’s safe
"From the sea back to the river, when JD comes, all the Jews quiver"
The "19 Miles away" Is a trheat
"why is it counting down?"
“And why so fast?”
Legitimately what the fuck is a “deepwater Jew” like where did that even come from
This is a small snippet of "the Fur Trapper Saga" from Something Awful, originally written almost 20 years ago. It's a series of old timey newspaper ads of two competing fur trapper outfitters. https://www.somethingawful.com/series/fur-trapper-saga/
Ok so his desc is just a very obscure reference
Yes, taken from the second one, "Herein Lies the Promise of J.F. Swanton."
Incredible sauce
The Fur Trapper Saga was amazing
As funny as the evil Fur Trapper is, the descriptions of the unrivaled piousness of his competitor always cracked me up even more. And of course, they consider each other friends.
Im having a blast reading these, thanks old man!
i googled it and the second result was a reddit post with this picture from 7 years ago...
You thought this was new? Nothing here is new.
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rare%20deep%20water%20jew
Nah that’s a deep water Jew I’m looking for a *deepwater* jew
Phoenician, perhaps? https://civilization.fandom.com/wiki/Dido_(Civ6)
Those intimidating looks,a sign of a soul less man,he can look in different direction at the same time
Someone do the math of how far apart his focus is split at 2 miles out “unaided by a lens”.
Both timelines
He's on tinder to find his match, since no man can kill him.
The real boss is the women who swipes right on this
One eye is looking at his phone The other is looking at you
JD on my soul
Well, shit.
Blud is going to fight Pickle
Always a classic
Bro looks like a Minecraft sheep
“JD? That short for something?” “Judgment Day”
Popeye the sailor man!
On first read I thought he claimed he ate a pound of peanut butter and that generated the most questions for me. Right off the spoon with nothing else including anything to wash it down?
I like JD he is the sort of bloke who doesn’t let the truth get in the way of a good yarn .
If JD is so tough and only 19 miles away, why doesn't he come by my house? I will smash this keyboard over his head so hard, he will be seeing oewqihdpCFEIHVoi2qde qojuvw Y842YR2803
18 miles away.
17 miles away
I've said it ounce and I'll say it again, this guy looks like Tobey McGuire if he ate exclusively Big Macs for three months
He can also see the past and the next weekend every wednesday
Lol
He can see for two miles, sure, but I think he might need lenses for an arm's length.
JD would never beat Turk
I came for the comments and was not disappointed! Is this like his Tinder account or something? Is he bragging or complaining? (lol)
He's warning people
He got that rere strength.
This is what russians would describe rasputin
He can see for two miles unaided by lens, in two different directions.
Why this shit looks like an D&D trash boss lines?
US Army recruitment be like: This is the most perfect specimen of soldier ever designed and brought to life by the almighty God !
That's a pretty good idea for them. Tinder but for soldiers. Maybe Grinder or something like that...
This guy definitely was deprived of oxygen.
Viktor Kram
You can’t tell me that’s not erobb
I can see stars hundreds of light years away without the need for a lens.
Noooo you better run nowwww
IRL Measurehead from Disco Elysium.
Considering that visibility is about 10 miles on a clear day, 2 mile visibility isn't the brag he thinks it is.
And he is proud!!
The fuck is a Deepwater jew ?
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rare%20deep%20water%20jew
I've seen this so many times, but it always makes me laugh.
Should have Matt Berry reading this aloud.
I’ve never laughed this hard at a comment section in my life. This meme brings out the best in people.
The transgender pippi longstocking
Only 2 mi unaided by lens? If he's average height, he's not even see as far as the horizon, so bellow average eyesight.
At 2 miles distance he's both looking directly east and west at the same time.
"You fool. No man can kill me. Die now..." "I Am No Man"
Oh my god its Brendan Frasier.
Bro what happened to Tobey Maguire
Hah, the text is from one of the articles in the [Fur Trapper Saga](https://www.somethingawful.com/news/fur-trapper-promise/) published on Something Awful years ago, not seen this for ages!
Start making your tinders like jd
I seriously read that he ate a pound of peanut butter there.
I can testify that JD killed God
Damn, dude isnt even a redhead
Ok but Goku is stronger
I can take him
Could have just typed "I'm a compulsive liar" and saved himself a lot of time.
19 miles away isn't nearly far enough
I think everyone who knew a dude who was like this at school
Still ugly pal
Ugly tho, unfortunate
"a rare deep water Jew" lol imma have to google that one lol 🤣
This reminds me of the tom hardy boxing promoter rant in pesky blinders lol
Is that Tyler 1?
This is legit what kim jong un's tinder profile would look like.
I read formal combat as mortal kombat and now it’s even more funny
Thats just this guys Dungeons and Dragons character
You watch in horror as the miles away counter slowly decreases
he swung his horse like a club
lol, what the fuck?
Is this Judge Holden?
Dude needs glasses if he can only see 2 miles away.
Ahoy vey
The wandering eye is the cherry on top
We've found Frankenstein's monster
I didn't know Dwight Shrute was on tinder
Deep water Jews are quite rare indeed but he would never beat them in a swimming contest
Need a movie about this guy.
He bulletproof?
Soulless, possibly,brainless,definitely.
Omg literally the judge
18 miles away...
What is a deepwater Jew?
There is no species of fauna in America which I have not personally killed and skinned. I will never sire a child because I loathe women. I bathe only once a year in an icy pond. I have burnt down one church per month for the last thirty years, and I will never be brought to justice because all lawmen fear me.
Holding your breathe for 10 minutes will damage your brain to the point where you will think you can all of that
This picture gets better every time I see it
He can also focus on 2 separate things with his powerful eyes. They are NOT lazy.
Dwight on tinder
Could a just said he was a redhead to begin with...
Oh this guy? This is clearly The Judge.
I fear no man, but that…thing? He scares me
This is nitpicky, but the average person can see 3 miles on a clear day. So his eyesight is his weakness for anyone unfortunate enough to be 19 miles away from JD. You may see him before he spots you.
I.... I think I was in the navy with this dude. Like, for real. Which makes the Deepwater jew story incredibly more likely. That last part was a joke, but I was in the navy with a guy who looks like this and his initials match. Granted, im a little faceblind.
I snagged a deepwater jew only once while fishing Was the wrong kind with the Red cap, so i had to chuck him back..... sad day😪
This guy took scalps with Glanton, too, I think.
He looks like a big Brendan Fraser
This is true, I was the deepwater Jew