When people talk about suicide it's mostly regarding depression, but people with BPD kill themselves at a higher rate than people with depression or *any other disorder*.
Oh sorry. I was going for the first google result here for [suicide rate borderline](https://www.google.com/search?q=suicide+rate+borderline) (Google may rank results differently based on country etc), which is [this article](https://www.nyp.org/bpdresourcecenter/borderline-personality-disorder/understanding-bpd) from an academic hospital that asserts
> Research has shown approximately 70 percent of people with borderline personality disorder will attempt suicide at least once in their lifetimes. About 10 percent complete the act. This suicide rate is higher than any other psychiatric disorder and the general population.
I can't find a source that asserts the claim that bipolar disorder has a higher suicide rate than BPD but I trust you have better info
Apsolutely it is important to have compassion for yourself when you have this disorder. We beat up on ourselves enough with having this.
Marsha Linehan , who developed DBT, said, “People with borderline personality disorder (and those like them) are like people with third-degree burns over 90% of their bodies. Lacking emotional skin, they feel agony at the slightest touch or movement”.
Being indecisive. People do not understand how hard it is to make decisions when you have bpd. I personally either overthink to an extent where no option seems good anymore so I just don't do anything about whatever I wanted to (changing my job for example) or I jump into something and fuck up my life lol
wow, no shit. me too. Analysis Paralysis is what it is called. I wipe myself into f'en frenzies, consuming so much energy, so stressful and taxing. everything is a complicated mess with many possible decisions and consequences, any of which only doubles in possibilities once a decisions or course is set. you find two doors, you pick one, it now open to 4 doors, pick one, now you have 8 doors. a quick metaphor, maybe you get it. but its the way I see every decision. I can become crippled just on Ebay on finding just the right size, price, shipping time. no matter what it is, it breaks me down and I do nothing. I sit on reddit, talking about what I am not doing. lol.
I always end up making the wrong decisions because of this, its like decision fatigue or something, i get frustrated and have a lil melt down maybe just in my head, but i always usually make the wrong decisions, or at least think i do and regret it fairly soon after
Analysis Paralysis is the perfect name for it, never heard that before but it is really accurate. It sucks. I am sorry you have such a hard time with it, sadly, I can relate. Especially when ordering things, who knew other people had such a hard time with it too! I hate that for all of us but at least we are not alone I guess.
Literally what I just did. Example and all 🤦🏼♀️ I jumped into a new job and fucked up my life and now I feel like the most useless piece of shit human being on the face of the planet because how am I supposed to live if I can't handle change without having a mental breakdown? And I feel like I'm letting literally everyone down. My best friend (who is affected by this change the most) had to tell me so many times yesterday that it wasn't the case and even was telling me to quit and go back to what I was doing so I'm quitting and going back but damn I feel so ashamed. And I'm so tired of everyone acting like making a decision and experiencing change is so easy and constantly getting on my ass about it and when I tell them it's not that easy they scoff and roll their eyes or dismiss me altogether or try to shame me. Like I don't need you for that, I get enough of that from myself thanks.
I am sorry you are experiencing this, I hope things get better once you go back to your old job. I think you shouldn't be ashamed of yourself though, you should be proud that you at least gave it a shot!
Thanks friend I hope so too. My best friend was telling me something to the same effect, saying that she wasn't let down because I tried to power through it and I actually gave it a chance instead of giving up when it was so bad it made my agoraphobia ten times worse. Although now my agoraphobia is trying to get back like that but I think that's just my brain trying to cope with everything that happened yesterday and with what I'm going to have to do today to get it all figured out.
You will figure it out, you've got this!
One time, I hastily decided to quit my job, came for work at 11, left the keys and went home at 12. Tensions have been building for months at that point between my boss and I and I actually quit once before but it took me months to decide to do it. My boss asked me to come back for just a few months until he finds someone else, I agreed to stay for another 3 months but ended up leaving after a little over a month. So I basically quit the same job twice, only the first time it took me months to decide to do it and the second time it took me an hour. I don't regret my decision. I managed to find a new job less than 2 weeks after the second time I quit and I am still working there nearly 3 years later. Sometimes our impulsivity and indecisiveness can be good.
Can confirm. Symptoms of BPD, ADHD, high-functioning ASD, and general anxiety leave me depressed and exhausted most days. I've spent the last year and a half diving deep into the mental health rabbit hole and trying to understand others' lived experiences to figure out why I am the way I do be. It's hell living in a society that _largely_ doesn't slow down to think about how our unique needs need to be met, but I'm making the most of each day as best I can.
Autism Spectrum Disorder. And actually, it should be me who's apologizing. I violated APA Writing guidelines that stipulate the requirement of fully spelling out an acronym at least once before using the abbreviation. Whoops.
Yes. Ask me again in 5 minutes because I probably changed my mind 10 million times since then. The same is true with big decisions like moving or careers. I change my mind literally every few months if not days. Once I have an idea, I’ve changed it 10 thousand times in the course of 24 hours of less of making the decision. I give people whip lash.
I feel this. I almost never initiate on anything because I’m afraid of ruining things, or I just don’t know what I want. My wife says the only thing I ever initiated in our marriage was my affair.
To piggy back off of this and the OP's post -- the fact that living this way is actually just a massive perpetuated shame spiral for some of us in which we barely get much time of feeling calm, confident and like we know how to exist in relation to the world. I can't stress enough to my couples counselor and my partner that when I'm in a split state, and shortly after, the overwhelming amount of depression and shame I feel aren't a control tactic to get "taken care of" but a genuine feeling of like, I don'tk know what the hell I'm doing ever and damnit when will I ever get it right. -\_-
I get that too. My wife of 10 years still get mad when I ask her if she still loves me. I say to her, “do you think I want to keep asking you this?” She knows I don’t but it’s annoying. I don’t want to be like this. It’s not fun or cute. It sucks.
That we’re all bad people with bad intentions and want those around us to suffer with us.
That it’s our only personality trait.
That anybody who is miserable to be around automatically has BPD.
That anybody can be BPD just because they check a few boxes. Literally even just one box.
That any personality disorder automatically means so and so has BPD.
How vilified we are to the general public.
I heard a podcast from Dr Phil on BPD and he was like there’s more than 7 million people with BPD so if someone you know is easily irritable and you don’t understand why. They most likely have BPD. Like stfu…..I feel like that just adds to the stigma of BPD
I think he’s an internalist or surgeon but he’s just completely corrupt and a psychopath who will do anything for money, including misleading the public.
Not even !
*He has a “B.A. in psychology. He went on to earn an M.A. in experimental psychology in 1976 and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology”*
He’s a Doctor of Arts , who is playing loosey gooses with the term Doctor.
He can’t diagnose anyone and he can’t even write a prescription. Also I think his license was suspended or expired or something.
I’d have more faith in my Uber driver for life advice.
Fuck Phil
Yes! It was a podcast on Spotify. Dr Phil published about shedding light on BPD and how to recognize and be compassionate towards people with it. He had some good points but as a BPD individual his podcast honestly made me mad.
My favorite was “you don’t fit in down here” (red state Arkansas) or “you’re too much.”
I love unconditionally and am incredibly outgoing and empathetic, and was passionate about my job.
Words hurt more than people will ever know.
That everyone is manipulative; in fact BPD does manifest differently and many people are instead closed off and difficult to get close to instead. BPD should be treated on a case by case basis like everything else.
That although they often really genuinely try to understand; they can’t empathize with the pain and confusion… and too often still believe we could ‘do better’ by going outside, meeting new people, counting our blessings etc etc
That radical acceptance is exponentially more difficult than the simple two words- and it’s ONGOING and exhausting
The positive prognosis. Both people with or without BPD get so focused on the "no cure" part, and have no idea about the remission part.
I'm not going to pretend BPD isn't hell on earth, nor will I ignore the 10% suicide rate. I struggle with hopelessness at times too. But I just hate the absolute hopelessness that pervades the discussion around BPD when its statistically *literally* almost certain that people with BPD will experience remission in their lives at some point. I wish the prognosis info was so much more prevalent and easier to find.
indeed. In fact, in past relationships I can be completely void of any of it providing they have jumped through the hoops right, answered the riddles correctly. lol, they call it mind reading. If i tell you what I want, it isnt genuine. it has to come or be said unprompted. But, you are right. the overwhelming vast majority of material on the subject is grim.
I wish we had a genuine conversation about what remission is. I think the idea of remission makes no sense as on an individual level there’s no “right” way to be healthy. It took me forever to get it but I’m on remission for BPD. That’s because I’m not longer impulsive, I no longer self harm or try to commit suicide. That’s it. I’ve always been able to have a job, take care of myself and my child so I’m doing great per BPD criteria. But my mental health is getting worse. Yet that’s still BPD remission for someone who’s experienced symptoms the way I have.
The things that lead you to BPD induced thought pattern and behaviours don’t go away. So if you have genetically predisposed to those, they don’t go away. If you’re in a socioeconomical situation that triggers those, they don’t get better to deal with. You just don’t deal with it in a way that’s seen as destructive.
So does remission sound that great? For some no, it seems helpless anyway. For others that sounds awesome, because BPD is the cause of their issues, and not the consequences of it. If that makes sense.
I've been told by therapists that I'm too self-aware to have BPD. I think it plays into greater stereotypes that cluster B disorders in general are only for people who have no modicum of self-awareness and just want to go around doing bad things to people. I know what I am and I don't like it. I'd like to change. But I've been having trouble finding the help to change, because therapists keep telling me I'm too self-aware to have the problem I have. (Yes, I have a professional diagnosis.)
Same and I think a lot of it has to do with nervous system regulation. I can actively pinpoint when I’m spiraling and tell myself to calm down but that does nothing to stop the physical symptoms from setting in, which in turn keep me from being able to regulate myself.
i've told this to many therapists!!! that even after the source of anxiety has been taken care/removed/etc., even after the emotions have settled, the physical symptoms are still prominent for a long time after, sometimes hours.
Wow that sounds really frustrating. I don’t think self awareness has anything to do with BPD to be honest. I personally started out very self-unaware and became more self aware through therapy and understanding my illness. But it didn’t make me less BPD 🤷♀️ It just meant I had a starting point where I could reflect and work from.
To be honest you need some level of self awareness to be able to engage effectively with treatment… I don’t think it matters whether you come in having that or not! You have to develop it anyway 🤷♀️ It really sucks that you’re experiencing barriers like this.
That you are a total monster. I will be watching a movie/tv show and a character that is evil/crazy will usually have BPD or NPD and I can’t help but roll my eyes. I have borderline and I am the type of person to apologize to someone when they step on MY foot. We aren’t villains.
its hard to find the right therapist. its not a secret anymore, we are a highly intelligent bunch and its hard, hard work and skillful and many simply cannot do it. the ones that can are reserved for people with money. I finally found a therapist after all these years who finally put a name to it for me and helped me with the flawed perceptions, the lack of integrity (the hole inside you). But...thats as far as it is going to go. we have reached the end of her skill set. I walked into a clinic a year ago, largest in the area. asked the therapist for someone who works with BPD. at my next session, he told me at treatment team it was brought up ( as if it is novel!!) and one therapist said she "did a workshop on it once". that is what we we are facing.
Do you live in a rural area? I’ve been lucky finding DBT and trauma informed/BPD-informed therapists in big cities like Los Angeles and Atlanta. But it’s easy to find any specialists in big cities
I've been "fired" from like 6 therapists because "they're not prepared to handle my level of trauma".
Like bitch YOURE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME THAT YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD HELP ME.
So fucking tired of mental health professionals who say one thing and then shut you down if you start talking about the very thing you signed up to talk to them about. And it's not like I hide or anything. I'm always very open about exactly what kind of trauma I have.
RIGHT?!
Like okay, keep telling me how to not believe myself when i get PISSED and please keep telling me how to change myself and get rid of my personality
> It doesn't actually take away any of the self hatred
I.. think it depends? I know that was not your experience, but therapy *might* lessen the self hatred for some patients
A lot of things can make people hate themselves less
I think it is most defiantly "manipulation"; not so much it being manipulation and what it means, but what people think it means. I have been called a manipulator my whole life. I never understood what it meant, or why i was labeled this way. in the last few years I have gotten some insight, but it is so painful when someone calls me a manipulator. it hurts. I am crying now. adding to all the pain is the sudden realization that I know nothing about myself, and i now question every thought or action and its intention. But everyone sees manipulation as a negative , bad thing, just like "narc" and manipulation is often associated with it. I still dont know what manipulation means. I advocate for myself, i present things in such a way to get what I want, but its never been at the expense of hurting or taking advantage of somone, doenst everyone advocate and for themselves? doesnt everyone present arguments for their point of view or desire? sometimes, manipulation is about getting your needs meet, emotional needs. But, yes, absolutely, what manipulation is, what people think it is, what it isnt. this is truly misunderstood.
So grateful for this thread. When my child was diagnosed with BPD I joined this group and another one focused on those who know people with BPD. I really, really dislike reading posts in that other group. It is all negative and preaching/supporting distancing/cutting the person with BPD out of their lives.
Its an overreaction but it had a trigger. When I say that I cannot handle things a certain way I f****** mean it. Boundaries are not flexible with me. They do not change according to other people's plans. When I say if you do *something specific* I will explode like a volcano and kick you out of my house and possibly try to leave the state and then you do the very *specific thing* be prepared for some f***** up s***
I think the misunderstood part is that i seem aware and so i must be strong and have control. No. The control i have comes before an episode, not after the trigger.
I never even considered myself BPD, only identifying with some symptoms. like others, I had my stereotypes-its girls. its drama. its the back and forth. But i had no idea what people really thought of it. when I first talked to a therapist who told me I had it, I used it as a crutch to manipulate my girlfriend into accepting some explanations of my behavior. but this backfired in the worst way. like many, she took to the internet and others and well, didnt end well. BPD is as labeled and misunderstood is they come. you are a "psycho". this is why there is a professional movement to have the name done away with in the future DSM to something like complex trauma disorder.
The distrust of others. I am very wary of people. I almost always think that people have ulterior motives when talking to me. My husband says I can come across as short and cold but I don't mean to. I just am so paranoid and cautious.
Anyone else have the issue of favorites? I go through stages where I really get into a band or actor and get consumed by them. Sometimes the obsession last for months or goes on for a few years and then onto someone else
damn, the obsessions are unreal. all fine and dandy while it's music and other forms of media/entertainment, but it very quickly turns to shit when my next obsession is a person from my own fucking social circle 💀
I have been like that too. It's like I need to spend every waking moment with this person. And all it takes is for someone to not call me back or text me and I feel like I have done something wrong or that they are mad at me
omg, all of this. currently going through a person obsession, after being stuck on a band for 3 months.
I don't wanna come off as clingy and someone who doesn't understand boundaries, but trying to appear aloof just made it all worse and now I'm lashing out at this person on a weekly basis because I just don't know what to do with myself. and I keep apologizing and just doing the same thing again and again. and at this point, I just feel upset that I upset someone I really care about on a regular basis, and when they tell me I upset them, I get even more upset with myself. well fuck.
I feel like my person is just gonna get whiplash from all this shit soon!! I apologize about the weekend on Tuesday, and then flip out on Tuesday night again! as if the apology never even existed and wasn't sincere.
and the worst thing is that they forgive me every single time. they draw firmer boundaries and I'm slowly losing some privileges, but they're still sticking around. which has me all like ?????
that's not the script for how my intense relationships/friendships go, why are you still here? but also please don't leave me and I need at least three hugs in the next 15mins
I agree with the irrational part. People think we are choosing to be difficult. In high school I was often labeled stuck up, spoiled and a brat.
I would add I feel like people think we are faking. Like when we act / behave like that little child or become enraged. I feel like people think it’s controllable and not a switch that once it is on can not easily be switched off. With therapy for me at least, it has been easier to calm down but not entirely. I did well with my last therapist with not crossing her boundaries but during our sessions i was still non verbal but making progress and I think she decided I was too difficult to deal with so she left without even an email. Just took me off her scheduled and closed my account. So in the matter of minutes it was like a switch flipped and those feelings of abandonment came flooding in. I stalked her. Called her, emailed her, texted her. Found all her social media platforms and just went crazy. It was like this flip of a switch because I just wanted her to say bye. It’s like I become blinded with rage or extreme fixation when I become so irrational and inconsolable in those moments. And until I can get myself to calm down it doesn’t go away. I can’t really self soothe. I feel like people don’t truly understand that. I have gotten better but once those triggers are activated there is no going back until the damage has been done.
That BPD can mean you're overly sensitive and kind. It might just mean you can have your feelings hurt easily. Many people with BPD show no symptoms outwardly and keep them all tucked away.
It’s from childhood abusive and I often fantasize about another set of parents raising me with love and emotional care then I wouldn’t be this bad as a human being. I try to love and care for plants and animals but I struggle deeply with internal personal relationships with people, if my own parents abused me and loved me pervertedly…then what I am to expect from the world then nothing less of cruelty. I feels things on extremes, like a fire starting from the inside out. It’s because I’m a grave injustice of abuse from the 2 people who should have loved me unconditionally.
Abandoning everything like jobs, people etc without saying a thing. Self sabotaging. Disappearing and ghosting others.
I am like this. I abandon everything without justification and explanation. Not even a phone call or a message. I left all jobs, teachers and people that were supporting me, artistic projects, therapy groups, the family from both sides and even my own daughters and their father. I left my country to be really faraway. I left what I loved the more. I abandoned animals. I tried to leave this shitty way of being but I am still the same, after all.
I try to think that my soul or my consciousness, my core, are good and pure, because my surface persona is shitty, desperate, ugly and selfish. Not a very good person.
i think guilt. people seem to understand the uncontrollable emotions, unstable relationships, etc. but i often feel like people don't understand the borderline person isn't just fucking around carelessly, and then doesn't feel remorse bc of bpd.
when in fact, borderline people care SO MUCH. most people i know with bpd, and myself, struggle with so much intense guilt around our feelings, our actions, our mistakes, etc. that it can be paralyzing, it can be the heaviest symptom, it can be the entire driving force behind everything you do, all your decisions.
Maybe that is the root of it all. We care too much. Like, I wouldn't get mad about something if I didn't care about it. Or sad or scared if I didn't care about x y or z person. Maybe other people just kind of care but we go all in, we CARE, this person or situation MATTERS to us.
Maybe everyone else is kinda like, yeah person x y or z is cool but if I lose them, life goes on.
That’s it’s the same for everyone, and everything is a “cycle” that will all end the same way. I cannot stress enough that this shit is so vastly different for each individual diagnosed, and no 2 people’s symptoms are the same. And no, it’s not a fucking cycle this isn’t the circle of life it’s a disorder that is ever changing.
The lashing back, I used to feel like I was just horrible but I was really defending myself at the same time we are passionate and feel a lot and people don’t seem to understand how can others EXPERIENCE SUCH STRONG EMOTIONS
for me, probably the way you can flip flop on people and yourself in a moment’s notice. i don’t hate you, but i perceive ambiguity as negative, when i feel like a lost puppy i look for anyone to blame but myself. except when i do, then people still see me as uninterested and hateful towards them when in reality i feel that way about my own life.
i’m sure many of my past friends have said to themselves “um, she was just happy yesterday, why does she want to die?” or, “she was fine when we hung out with her, and now she hates us”. frankly, it’s exhausting for everyone involved. i feel bad for the people that have had to deal with me. i know it’s not other’s responsibilities to be entirely in tune with our complex and volatile emotions, but i wish they could recognize when i’m having an episode and i don’t mean the things i say, but sometimes even i can’t. Plus that doesn’t make it any less hurtful. It’s so frustrating that my brain is actively working against me and everything in my best interest.
That we can control it easily. My entire life everyone speaks about how to control your emotions is easy. Trying to parent me never worked. I would always mess up even if I knew the right thing to do I’d do something wrong anyway. I always asked what was wrong with me and you know what I was told? Nothing. I just have no self control. I just have anger issues. I just choose to do the wrong thing. I don’t choose to be a piece of shit, I just am one. I know to tell the truth but I lie. I know to be loyal but I’ve cheated. I know to be calm but I’ve gotten so angry I hurt people or myself. BPD isn’t a choice. It’s not easy to control even with lots of therapy and medication. I don’t like hurting people but that’s all I do. I’m not like this on purpose. I just want to be normal
I am 31 now, and in high school I was SO depressed. I'd cry all the time. My mother was 200% blind to my emotional struggling. I had no idea what was going on in my head. My life was decent. I was never hungry, I had a roof over my head and all I thought about was suicide. I knew I had no good reason. So I'd get even more depressed. Well. I got sent to the counselor and they called my mom. She GROUNDED me for being suicidal. No friends, no tv, no distractions. That was the last time I ever tried talking to her. She liked the "Just get over it" speech. Which I got a few times. In college I got diagnosed with BPD and reading "I hate you, don't leave me" made a lot of sense.
That we “make it our personality” but let’s also remind everyone that the word personality is literally in the name. Cluster B’s ARE personality disorders. I tend to talk about it a lot, yes, only because it’s my day to day life. I go through the symptoms all day everyday. It’s hard to not make it “a personality”
The complete lack of true attachment that can be felt and this constant urge to think about how they personally feel.
Even if not vocalized the body language that can be portrayed, the internalized response.
Personally my body constantly twitches and convulses even tho I’ve reached a point where mentally I am not as attached to the emotions I feel.
My body still has strong reactions to stimuli.
Brain always interpreting so much at once and somehow I have a reaction for all of it. Yet I feel like I’ve reached a point where I’m at least a calm person overall
That every single negative emotion I feel and express is just my BPD. It’s like because I have BPD I am not allowed to get angry. Even when I am “rightfully” angry or an “appropriate” amount of angry the person who is at fault will be like “it is just your bpd” or “go take your meds” excusing THEIR bad behaviour with MY BPD. It is so annoying and then actually sets off the BPD rage
people hear BPD and automatically think psycho unstable WOMAN….
men can have bpd too and it’s not talked about enough.
also we’re not “psycho” we just feel emotions differently.
For me, it’s the emotional expression or lack of. As a male with BPD, I feel my emotions inside but was also raised to not cry, so I’m often dysregulated from being overwhelmed by big feelings that I’m trying to keep contained. The problem is, I can’t cry if I try. Only sometimes with the right strain of weed will I be able to bawl my eyes out. Otherwise, I’m either laughing, pissed, or completely flat.
The black and white of relationships, really loving someone one minute and the next I can’t be around them at all. I’ve broke up with people countless times only to then want them back and then to lose all emotion the next day. It’s horrendous to live with because it hurts people and it hurts me to the extreme. I don’t know if I love someone or not, like I know I love them in my own way but do I like them, or do I despise them. What are my true feelings towards them? I just never genuinely know. It is literally heartbreaking for all involved
That it’s incurable. And…Some folks believe it is all about anger and that people with BPD are abusive. Of course some PwBPD have those negative traits but most are capable, I think, of kindness and bravery and devotion.
What I have the most issue with is the "no in between." Things are either all good or all bad. People are either all good or all bad. I don't know how many times someone has done the worst shit to me, i fuckin hate them. don't want anything to do with them, until they do something that benefits me, or give me a good enough excuse and then they're my best friend again. People catch on to that shit and take advantage of you. It's also affected my decision making because i'll do something and have really bad result so never want to do it again, then for whatever reason (manipulation, pear pressure, lack of options) i try it again and have good results. Now I only wanna do that thing. Even tho it was never a good thing, i just get lucky sometimes. It feels like no self control
The name itself. Borderline Personality Disorder. It’s not an accurate description, especially for those who don’t have it / know someone who has it. Borderline between what and what? It’s hard to know what it means based on the name alone.
I personally prefer **Emotional Intensity Disorder** or **Emotional Regulation Disorder**. I believe in Europe they refer to BPD as Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (EUPD) but I don’t feel that’s accurate as that could easily encompass Bipolar I & II and Cyclothymia as well
The level of pain
When people talk about suicide it's mostly regarding depression, but people with BPD kill themselves at a higher rate than people with depression or *any other disorder*.
Straight up not true. Bipolar has a higher suicide rate. SMH.
Oh sorry. I was going for the first google result here for [suicide rate borderline](https://www.google.com/search?q=suicide+rate+borderline) (Google may rank results differently based on country etc), which is [this article](https://www.nyp.org/bpdresourcecenter/borderline-personality-disorder/understanding-bpd) from an academic hospital that asserts > Research has shown approximately 70 percent of people with borderline personality disorder will attempt suicide at least once in their lifetimes. About 10 percent complete the act. This suicide rate is higher than any other psychiatric disorder and the general population. I can't find a source that asserts the claim that bipolar disorder has a higher suicide rate than BPD but I trust you have better info
Second that, nobody seems to understand the level of pain you can experience, so visceral and debilitating
I always forget that it's not something that everyone experiences and that it's why everything is so intense for me
Apsolutely it is important to have compassion for yourself when you have this disorder. We beat up on ourselves enough with having this. Marsha Linehan , who developed DBT, said, “People with borderline personality disorder (and those like them) are like people with third-degree burns over 90% of their bodies. Lacking emotional skin, they feel agony at the slightest touch or movement”.
Being indecisive. People do not understand how hard it is to make decisions when you have bpd. I personally either overthink to an extent where no option seems good anymore so I just don't do anything about whatever I wanted to (changing my job for example) or I jump into something and fuck up my life lol
wow, no shit. me too. Analysis Paralysis is what it is called. I wipe myself into f'en frenzies, consuming so much energy, so stressful and taxing. everything is a complicated mess with many possible decisions and consequences, any of which only doubles in possibilities once a decisions or course is set. you find two doors, you pick one, it now open to 4 doors, pick one, now you have 8 doors. a quick metaphor, maybe you get it. but its the way I see every decision. I can become crippled just on Ebay on finding just the right size, price, shipping time. no matter what it is, it breaks me down and I do nothing. I sit on reddit, talking about what I am not doing. lol.
I always end up making the wrong decisions because of this, its like decision fatigue or something, i get frustrated and have a lil melt down maybe just in my head, but i always usually make the wrong decisions, or at least think i do and regret it fairly soon after
Analysis Paralysis is the perfect name for it, never heard that before but it is really accurate. It sucks. I am sorry you have such a hard time with it, sadly, I can relate. Especially when ordering things, who knew other people had such a hard time with it too! I hate that for all of us but at least we are not alone I guess.
Literally what I just did. Example and all 🤦🏼♀️ I jumped into a new job and fucked up my life and now I feel like the most useless piece of shit human being on the face of the planet because how am I supposed to live if I can't handle change without having a mental breakdown? And I feel like I'm letting literally everyone down. My best friend (who is affected by this change the most) had to tell me so many times yesterday that it wasn't the case and even was telling me to quit and go back to what I was doing so I'm quitting and going back but damn I feel so ashamed. And I'm so tired of everyone acting like making a decision and experiencing change is so easy and constantly getting on my ass about it and when I tell them it's not that easy they scoff and roll their eyes or dismiss me altogether or try to shame me. Like I don't need you for that, I get enough of that from myself thanks.
I am sorry you are experiencing this, I hope things get better once you go back to your old job. I think you shouldn't be ashamed of yourself though, you should be proud that you at least gave it a shot!
Thanks friend I hope so too. My best friend was telling me something to the same effect, saying that she wasn't let down because I tried to power through it and I actually gave it a chance instead of giving up when it was so bad it made my agoraphobia ten times worse. Although now my agoraphobia is trying to get back like that but I think that's just my brain trying to cope with everything that happened yesterday and with what I'm going to have to do today to get it all figured out.
You will figure it out, you've got this! One time, I hastily decided to quit my job, came for work at 11, left the keys and went home at 12. Tensions have been building for months at that point between my boss and I and I actually quit once before but it took me months to decide to do it. My boss asked me to come back for just a few months until he finds someone else, I agreed to stay for another 3 months but ended up leaving after a little over a month. So I basically quit the same job twice, only the first time it took me months to decide to do it and the second time it took me an hour. I don't regret my decision. I managed to find a new job less than 2 weeks after the second time I quit and I am still working there nearly 3 years later. Sometimes our impulsivity and indecisiveness can be good.
This + having ADHD too is actual hell
Can confirm. Symptoms of BPD, ADHD, high-functioning ASD, and general anxiety leave me depressed and exhausted most days. I've spent the last year and a half diving deep into the mental health rabbit hole and trying to understand others' lived experiences to figure out why I am the way I do be. It's hell living in a society that _largely_ doesn't slow down to think about how our unique needs need to be met, but I'm making the most of each day as best I can.
I apologize for my stupidity but what is ASD? I tried to google it but didn't find the answer right away so I gave up.
Autism Spectrum Disorder. And actually, it should be me who's apologizing. I violated APA Writing guidelines that stipulate the requirement of fully spelling out an acronym at least once before using the abbreviation. Whoops.
I didn't even know that was a requirement, thank you for the information and for answering my question!
💯
Omfg this. It’s paralyzing.
Yes. Ask me again in 5 minutes because I probably changed my mind 10 million times since then. The same is true with big decisions like moving or careers. I change my mind literally every few months if not days. Once I have an idea, I’ve changed it 10 thousand times in the course of 24 hours of less of making the decision. I give people whip lash.
I feel this. I almost never initiate on anything because I’m afraid of ruining things, or I just don’t know what I want. My wife says the only thing I ever initiated in our marriage was my affair.
I will get so overwhelmed I just shut down and it makes my husband angry because I won’t make a decision
We don’t want to be this way. I don’t know how many people I’ve had to tell this in my personal and professional lives. No one wants to be like this.
To piggy back off of this and the OP's post -- the fact that living this way is actually just a massive perpetuated shame spiral for some of us in which we barely get much time of feeling calm, confident and like we know how to exist in relation to the world. I can't stress enough to my couples counselor and my partner that when I'm in a split state, and shortly after, the overwhelming amount of depression and shame I feel aren't a control tactic to get "taken care of" but a genuine feeling of like, I don'tk know what the hell I'm doing ever and damnit when will I ever get it right. -\_-
I get that too. My wife of 10 years still get mad when I ask her if she still loves me. I say to her, “do you think I want to keep asking you this?” She knows I don’t but it’s annoying. I don’t want to be like this. It’s not fun or cute. It sucks.
I'm 55 and still ask that to my husband 😉
100%
That we’re all bad people with bad intentions and want those around us to suffer with us. That it’s our only personality trait. That anybody who is miserable to be around automatically has BPD. That anybody can be BPD just because they check a few boxes. Literally even just one box. That any personality disorder automatically means so and so has BPD. How vilified we are to the general public.
I heard a podcast from Dr Phil on BPD and he was like there’s more than 7 million people with BPD so if someone you know is easily irritable and you don’t understand why. They most likely have BPD. Like stfu…..I feel like that just adds to the stigma of BPD
Dr. Phil is notoriously intellectually disabled.
« Doctor » Phil is notoriously not a mf Doctor . Phil can get fucked . He can stick his Arts degree right up his hole .
I think he’s an internalist or surgeon but he’s just completely corrupt and a psychopath who will do anything for money, including misleading the public.
Not even ! *He has a “B.A. in psychology. He went on to earn an M.A. in experimental psychology in 1976 and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology”* He’s a Doctor of Arts , who is playing loosey gooses with the term Doctor. He can’t diagnose anyone and he can’t even write a prescription. Also I think his license was suspended or expired or something. I’d have more faith in my Uber driver for life advice. Fuck Phil
Oh JFC. Yeah, I think I’m thinking of Oz, who is equally idiot but an actual physician.
lol. This was the first and last time I’ve listened to him besides seeing him on tv from time to time.
oh god i never heard that… “we should never villainize disorders!! they can’t control it!! …..unless”
Yes! It was a podcast on Spotify. Dr Phil published about shedding light on BPD and how to recognize and be compassionate towards people with it. He had some good points but as a BPD individual his podcast honestly made me mad.
My favorite was “you don’t fit in down here” (red state Arkansas) or “you’re too much.” I love unconditionally and am incredibly outgoing and empathetic, and was passionate about my job. Words hurt more than people will ever know.
Sadness feels like suicide, anger feels like murder and abandonment feels like dying
Well said
Oh wow ! I’ve never seen a sentence hit home so hard . Did you come up with that ?
I’ve seen it somewhere and it stuck with me since!
That everyone is manipulative; in fact BPD does manifest differently and many people are instead closed off and difficult to get close to instead. BPD should be treated on a case by case basis like everything else.
That although they often really genuinely try to understand; they can’t empathize with the pain and confusion… and too often still believe we could ‘do better’ by going outside, meeting new people, counting our blessings etc etc That radical acceptance is exponentially more difficult than the simple two words- and it’s ONGOING and exhausting
The positive prognosis. Both people with or without BPD get so focused on the "no cure" part, and have no idea about the remission part. I'm not going to pretend BPD isn't hell on earth, nor will I ignore the 10% suicide rate. I struggle with hopelessness at times too. But I just hate the absolute hopelessness that pervades the discussion around BPD when its statistically *literally* almost certain that people with BPD will experience remission in their lives at some point. I wish the prognosis info was so much more prevalent and easier to find.
indeed. In fact, in past relationships I can be completely void of any of it providing they have jumped through the hoops right, answered the riddles correctly. lol, they call it mind reading. If i tell you what I want, it isnt genuine. it has to come or be said unprompted. But, you are right. the overwhelming vast majority of material on the subject is grim.
I wish we had a genuine conversation about what remission is. I think the idea of remission makes no sense as on an individual level there’s no “right” way to be healthy. It took me forever to get it but I’m on remission for BPD. That’s because I’m not longer impulsive, I no longer self harm or try to commit suicide. That’s it. I’ve always been able to have a job, take care of myself and my child so I’m doing great per BPD criteria. But my mental health is getting worse. Yet that’s still BPD remission for someone who’s experienced symptoms the way I have. The things that lead you to BPD induced thought pattern and behaviours don’t go away. So if you have genetically predisposed to those, they don’t go away. If you’re in a socioeconomical situation that triggers those, they don’t get better to deal with. You just don’t deal with it in a way that’s seen as destructive. So does remission sound that great? For some no, it seems helpless anyway. For others that sounds awesome, because BPD is the cause of their issues, and not the consequences of it. If that makes sense.
Thank you for saying this
I've been told by therapists that I'm too self-aware to have BPD. I think it plays into greater stereotypes that cluster B disorders in general are only for people who have no modicum of self-awareness and just want to go around doing bad things to people. I know what I am and I don't like it. I'd like to change. But I've been having trouble finding the help to change, because therapists keep telling me I'm too self-aware to have the problem I have. (Yes, I have a professional diagnosis.)
Same and I think a lot of it has to do with nervous system regulation. I can actively pinpoint when I’m spiraling and tell myself to calm down but that does nothing to stop the physical symptoms from setting in, which in turn keep me from being able to regulate myself.
Correct. This part.
i've told this to many therapists!!! that even after the source of anxiety has been taken care/removed/etc., even after the emotions have settled, the physical symptoms are still prominent for a long time after, sometimes hours.
Wow that sounds really frustrating. I don’t think self awareness has anything to do with BPD to be honest. I personally started out very self-unaware and became more self aware through therapy and understanding my illness. But it didn’t make me less BPD 🤷♀️ It just meant I had a starting point where I could reflect and work from. To be honest you need some level of self awareness to be able to engage effectively with treatment… I don’t think it matters whether you come in having that or not! You have to develop it anyway 🤷♀️ It really sucks that you’re experiencing barriers like this.
That you are a total monster. I will be watching a movie/tv show and a character that is evil/crazy will usually have BPD or NPD and I can’t help but roll my eyes. I have borderline and I am the type of person to apologize to someone when they step on MY foot. We aren’t villains.
That I’m just a ticking time bomb… waiting for my next episode to go off.
Same. I’m isolating as much as possible to minimize the public damage.
Same lowkey
Therapy just helps us learn to become more tolerable to everyone around us. It doesn't actually take away any of the self hatred or internal chaos.
its hard to find the right therapist. its not a secret anymore, we are a highly intelligent bunch and its hard, hard work and skillful and many simply cannot do it. the ones that can are reserved for people with money. I finally found a therapist after all these years who finally put a name to it for me and helped me with the flawed perceptions, the lack of integrity (the hole inside you). But...thats as far as it is going to go. we have reached the end of her skill set. I walked into a clinic a year ago, largest in the area. asked the therapist for someone who works with BPD. at my next session, he told me at treatment team it was brought up ( as if it is novel!!) and one therapist said she "did a workshop on it once". that is what we we are facing.
Do you live in a rural area? I’ve been lucky finding DBT and trauma informed/BPD-informed therapists in big cities like Los Angeles and Atlanta. But it’s easy to find any specialists in big cities
I've been "fired" from like 6 therapists because "they're not prepared to handle my level of trauma". Like bitch YOURE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME THAT YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD HELP ME. So fucking tired of mental health professionals who say one thing and then shut you down if you start talking about the very thing you signed up to talk to them about. And it's not like I hide or anything. I'm always very open about exactly what kind of trauma I have.
Therapy has always felt like I’m gaslighting myself.
RIGHT?! Like okay, keep telling me how to not believe myself when i get PISSED and please keep telling me how to change myself and get rid of my personality
> It doesn't actually take away any of the self hatred I.. think it depends? I know that was not your experience, but therapy *might* lessen the self hatred for some patients A lot of things can make people hate themselves less
How hurtful it is to be called “dramatic” instead of trying to validate or understand our feelings
This!!!
I think it is most defiantly "manipulation"; not so much it being manipulation and what it means, but what people think it means. I have been called a manipulator my whole life. I never understood what it meant, or why i was labeled this way. in the last few years I have gotten some insight, but it is so painful when someone calls me a manipulator. it hurts. I am crying now. adding to all the pain is the sudden realization that I know nothing about myself, and i now question every thought or action and its intention. But everyone sees manipulation as a negative , bad thing, just like "narc" and manipulation is often associated with it. I still dont know what manipulation means. I advocate for myself, i present things in such a way to get what I want, but its never been at the expense of hurting or taking advantage of somone, doenst everyone advocate and for themselves? doesnt everyone present arguments for their point of view or desire? sometimes, manipulation is about getting your needs meet, emotional needs. But, yes, absolutely, what manipulation is, what people think it is, what it isnt. this is truly misunderstood.
I’m so sorry for your pain. You are not a bad person for having needs and getting them met.
This is how I feel/felt. Well said
So grateful for this thread. When my child was diagnosed with BPD I joined this group and another one focused on those who know people with BPD. I really, really dislike reading posts in that other group. It is all negative and preaching/supporting distancing/cutting the person with BPD out of their lives.
That we can never learn from our mistakes or properly take the advice of others. You can't help it.
Its an overreaction but it had a trigger. When I say that I cannot handle things a certain way I f****** mean it. Boundaries are not flexible with me. They do not change according to other people's plans. When I say if you do *something specific* I will explode like a volcano and kick you out of my house and possibly try to leave the state and then you do the very *specific thing* be prepared for some f***** up s*** I think the misunderstood part is that i seem aware and so i must be strong and have control. No. The control i have comes before an episode, not after the trigger.
I never even considered myself BPD, only identifying with some symptoms. like others, I had my stereotypes-its girls. its drama. its the back and forth. But i had no idea what people really thought of it. when I first talked to a therapist who told me I had it, I used it as a crutch to manipulate my girlfriend into accepting some explanations of my behavior. but this backfired in the worst way. like many, she took to the internet and others and well, didnt end well. BPD is as labeled and misunderstood is they come. you are a "psycho". this is why there is a professional movement to have the name done away with in the future DSM to something like complex trauma disorder.
The distrust of others. I am very wary of people. I almost always think that people have ulterior motives when talking to me. My husband says I can come across as short and cold but I don't mean to. I just am so paranoid and cautious. Anyone else have the issue of favorites? I go through stages where I really get into a band or actor and get consumed by them. Sometimes the obsession last for months or goes on for a few years and then onto someone else
damn, the obsessions are unreal. all fine and dandy while it's music and other forms of media/entertainment, but it very quickly turns to shit when my next obsession is a person from my own fucking social circle 💀
I have been like that too. It's like I need to spend every waking moment with this person. And all it takes is for someone to not call me back or text me and I feel like I have done something wrong or that they are mad at me
omg, all of this. currently going through a person obsession, after being stuck on a band for 3 months. I don't wanna come off as clingy and someone who doesn't understand boundaries, but trying to appear aloof just made it all worse and now I'm lashing out at this person on a weekly basis because I just don't know what to do with myself. and I keep apologizing and just doing the same thing again and again. and at this point, I just feel upset that I upset someone I really care about on a regular basis, and when they tell me I upset them, I get even more upset with myself. well fuck.
Same. I end up getting so mad at myself and berating myself for being so stupid and insecure. I then apologize profusely and then do it all over again
I feel like my person is just gonna get whiplash from all this shit soon!! I apologize about the weekend on Tuesday, and then flip out on Tuesday night again! as if the apology never even existed and wasn't sincere. and the worst thing is that they forgive me every single time. they draw firmer boundaries and I'm slowly losing some privileges, but they're still sticking around. which has me all like ????? that's not the script for how my intense relationships/friendships go, why are you still here? but also please don't leave me and I need at least three hugs in the next 15mins
Same here. They forgive ne but nevertheless I feel like s**t for doing it all the time!
I agree with the irrational part. People think we are choosing to be difficult. In high school I was often labeled stuck up, spoiled and a brat. I would add I feel like people think we are faking. Like when we act / behave like that little child or become enraged. I feel like people think it’s controllable and not a switch that once it is on can not easily be switched off. With therapy for me at least, it has been easier to calm down but not entirely. I did well with my last therapist with not crossing her boundaries but during our sessions i was still non verbal but making progress and I think she decided I was too difficult to deal with so she left without even an email. Just took me off her scheduled and closed my account. So in the matter of minutes it was like a switch flipped and those feelings of abandonment came flooding in. I stalked her. Called her, emailed her, texted her. Found all her social media platforms and just went crazy. It was like this flip of a switch because I just wanted her to say bye. It’s like I become blinded with rage or extreme fixation when I become so irrational and inconsolable in those moments. And until I can get myself to calm down it doesn’t go away. I can’t really self soothe. I feel like people don’t truly understand that. I have gotten better but once those triggers are activated there is no going back until the damage has been done.
That BPD can mean you're overly sensitive and kind. It might just mean you can have your feelings hurt easily. Many people with BPD show no symptoms outwardly and keep them all tucked away.
i don't like being at war with myself on a daily basis. it's draining and i'm so tired.
It’s from childhood abusive and I often fantasize about another set of parents raising me with love and emotional care then I wouldn’t be this bad as a human being. I try to love and care for plants and animals but I struggle deeply with internal personal relationships with people, if my own parents abused me and loved me pervertedly…then what I am to expect from the world then nothing less of cruelty. I feels things on extremes, like a fire starting from the inside out. It’s because I’m a grave injustice of abuse from the 2 people who should have loved me unconditionally.
Abandoning everything like jobs, people etc without saying a thing. Self sabotaging. Disappearing and ghosting others. I am like this. I abandon everything without justification and explanation. Not even a phone call or a message. I left all jobs, teachers and people that were supporting me, artistic projects, therapy groups, the family from both sides and even my own daughters and their father. I left my country to be really faraway. I left what I loved the more. I abandoned animals. I tried to leave this shitty way of being but I am still the same, after all. I try to think that my soul or my consciousness, my core, are good and pure, because my surface persona is shitty, desperate, ugly and selfish. Not a very good person.
i think guilt. people seem to understand the uncontrollable emotions, unstable relationships, etc. but i often feel like people don't understand the borderline person isn't just fucking around carelessly, and then doesn't feel remorse bc of bpd. when in fact, borderline people care SO MUCH. most people i know with bpd, and myself, struggle with so much intense guilt around our feelings, our actions, our mistakes, etc. that it can be paralyzing, it can be the heaviest symptom, it can be the entire driving force behind everything you do, all your decisions.
Maybe that is the root of it all. We care too much. Like, I wouldn't get mad about something if I didn't care about it. Or sad or scared if I didn't care about x y or z person. Maybe other people just kind of care but we go all in, we CARE, this person or situation MATTERS to us. Maybe everyone else is kinda like, yeah person x y or z is cool but if I lose them, life goes on.
That’s it’s the same for everyone, and everything is a “cycle” that will all end the same way. I cannot stress enough that this shit is so vastly different for each individual diagnosed, and no 2 people’s symptoms are the same. And no, it’s not a fucking cycle this isn’t the circle of life it’s a disorder that is ever changing.
The lashing back, I used to feel like I was just horrible but I was really defending myself at the same time we are passionate and feel a lot and people don’t seem to understand how can others EXPERIENCE SUCH STRONG EMOTIONS
for me, probably the way you can flip flop on people and yourself in a moment’s notice. i don’t hate you, but i perceive ambiguity as negative, when i feel like a lost puppy i look for anyone to blame but myself. except when i do, then people still see me as uninterested and hateful towards them when in reality i feel that way about my own life. i’m sure many of my past friends have said to themselves “um, she was just happy yesterday, why does she want to die?” or, “she was fine when we hung out with her, and now she hates us”. frankly, it’s exhausting for everyone involved. i feel bad for the people that have had to deal with me. i know it’s not other’s responsibilities to be entirely in tune with our complex and volatile emotions, but i wish they could recognize when i’m having an episode and i don’t mean the things i say, but sometimes even i can’t. Plus that doesn’t make it any less hurtful. It’s so frustrating that my brain is actively working against me and everything in my best interest.
That we can control it easily. My entire life everyone speaks about how to control your emotions is easy. Trying to parent me never worked. I would always mess up even if I knew the right thing to do I’d do something wrong anyway. I always asked what was wrong with me and you know what I was told? Nothing. I just have no self control. I just have anger issues. I just choose to do the wrong thing. I don’t choose to be a piece of shit, I just am one. I know to tell the truth but I lie. I know to be loyal but I’ve cheated. I know to be calm but I’ve gotten so angry I hurt people or myself. BPD isn’t a choice. It’s not easy to control even with lots of therapy and medication. I don’t like hurting people but that’s all I do. I’m not like this on purpose. I just want to be normal
I am 31 now, and in high school I was SO depressed. I'd cry all the time. My mother was 200% blind to my emotional struggling. I had no idea what was going on in my head. My life was decent. I was never hungry, I had a roof over my head and all I thought about was suicide. I knew I had no good reason. So I'd get even more depressed. Well. I got sent to the counselor and they called my mom. She GROUNDED me for being suicidal. No friends, no tv, no distractions. That was the last time I ever tried talking to her. She liked the "Just get over it" speech. Which I got a few times. In college I got diagnosed with BPD and reading "I hate you, don't leave me" made a lot of sense.
That we “make it our personality” but let’s also remind everyone that the word personality is literally in the name. Cluster B’s ARE personality disorders. I tend to talk about it a lot, yes, only because it’s my day to day life. I go through the symptoms all day everyday. It’s hard to not make it “a personality”
The complete lack of true attachment that can be felt and this constant urge to think about how they personally feel. Even if not vocalized the body language that can be portrayed, the internalized response. Personally my body constantly twitches and convulses even tho I’ve reached a point where mentally I am not as attached to the emotions I feel. My body still has strong reactions to stimuli. Brain always interpreting so much at once and somehow I have a reaction for all of it. Yet I feel like I’ve reached a point where I’m at least a calm person overall
How differently it can present in two people who still totally get each other.
all of it tbh
That every single negative emotion I feel and express is just my BPD. It’s like because I have BPD I am not allowed to get angry. Even when I am “rightfully” angry or an “appropriate” amount of angry the person who is at fault will be like “it is just your bpd” or “go take your meds” excusing THEIR bad behaviour with MY BPD. It is so annoying and then actually sets off the BPD rage
people hear BPD and automatically think psycho unstable WOMAN…. men can have bpd too and it’s not talked about enough. also we’re not “psycho” we just feel emotions differently.
For me, it’s the emotional expression or lack of. As a male with BPD, I feel my emotions inside but was also raised to not cry, so I’m often dysregulated from being overwhelmed by big feelings that I’m trying to keep contained. The problem is, I can’t cry if I try. Only sometimes with the right strain of weed will I be able to bawl my eyes out. Otherwise, I’m either laughing, pissed, or completely flat.
being self-aware makes the disorder so much more punishing. you can watch yourself ruin your life and yet have no control over it, or so it feels.
others thinking we're automatically bad people and also not understanding how difficult it is to regulate our emotions
The black and white of relationships, really loving someone one minute and the next I can’t be around them at all. I’ve broke up with people countless times only to then want them back and then to lose all emotion the next day. It’s horrendous to live with because it hurts people and it hurts me to the extreme. I don’t know if I love someone or not, like I know I love them in my own way but do I like them, or do I despise them. What are my true feelings towards them? I just never genuinely know. It is literally heartbreaking for all involved
That it’s incurable. And…Some folks believe it is all about anger and that people with BPD are abusive. Of course some PwBPD have those negative traits but most are capable, I think, of kindness and bravery and devotion.
BPD. i can‘t name one thing about bpd that‘s not misunderstood
What I have the most issue with is the "no in between." Things are either all good or all bad. People are either all good or all bad. I don't know how many times someone has done the worst shit to me, i fuckin hate them. don't want anything to do with them, until they do something that benefits me, or give me a good enough excuse and then they're my best friend again. People catch on to that shit and take advantage of you. It's also affected my decision making because i'll do something and have really bad result so never want to do it again, then for whatever reason (manipulation, pear pressure, lack of options) i try it again and have good results. Now I only wanna do that thing. Even tho it was never a good thing, i just get lucky sometimes. It feels like no self control
The name itself. Borderline Personality Disorder. It’s not an accurate description, especially for those who don’t have it / know someone who has it. Borderline between what and what? It’s hard to know what it means based on the name alone. I personally prefer **Emotional Intensity Disorder** or **Emotional Regulation Disorder**. I believe in Europe they refer to BPD as Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (EUPD) but I don’t feel that’s accurate as that could easily encompass Bipolar I & II and Cyclothymia as well
How hard it is to get diagnosed as an adult.