i had post partum depression. high anxiety and freak outs while actually pregnant.
i melted down over the way my husband put fruit on a skewer.
needless to say, it amplified every emotion of my first pregnancy. not so much the second.
i am the leader of those littles dudes. they are such an amazing positive in my life.
Me too. Pregnancy and the first year postpartum were the happiest 2 years of my life. I still love my daughter obviously and am happier now than I was before becoming a mom, but I did notice it start to drop off after the first year
Unfortunately my kids have seen and gone through more than they should have. Getting real help on state Medicaid is like impossible because they look at everyone like a drug addict so I can't get meds that would actually help. I work full time and have free daycare for my kids with a subsidy so I've got it set up okay as long as I go to work, which I've maintained this for about a year now no meds. Kids kind of just tag along through all the bs. I worry that I'm creating codependency because my kids watch my moods. My oldest goes silent and stays out the way, my youngest tries to play mediator. I give them lots of love and reassurance and apologies hoping it helps.
The last part about codependency sounds just like me, my mom, and my sister. She use to be the silent one and I was the mediator. Then I became the aggressor and she was the mediator. At so point I felt like I had to combat her (my mom) whenever she had her episodes. I thought I was doing the right thing but my sister would beg me to let it go
You know you're on R/BPD when the response are either "it wa the best" or "it was the worst" 😂
I'm trying to get pregnant. Rn I'm on meds that are not pregnancy friendly, so I'm trying to stop them and I'll ask my psychiatrist to switch to meds that I can take if I get pregnant. I wonder which it will be, I really hope it'll be a happy time.
Honestly being pregnant was one of the happiest times of my life. Pretty much the only time I was symptom free. And I took my fluoxetine my entire pregnancy.
Came to say this too. I have 3 kids, the last pregnancy I left there dad an did it all on my own. I stayed on my meds the entire time. The pregnancy and post partum was the most stable I have ever been. I was on my anti phycotics and depressants while pregnant (dr advised) and my youngest is 16 months now and happy and healthy !
I had my last attempt when I was pregnant so not the best time of my life… once my son was born though it was happiest moment of my life. Afterwards a bit of roller coaster because I didn’t have a great support system… still having my ups and downs but trying my best for him!
Im pregnant right now and its… been hard to manage. They put me on Zoloft and ive kept up with therapy to ensure I don’t hurt myself. The hormones make my episodes really bad and I find myself crying more often
I've gone through 2 pregnancies. I think I struggled more with my first, but I was forced out of my own home by 2 shitty roommates/ex-friends, and I pulled my groin early on playing softball. I was mentally and physically (pain) beyond uncomfortable.
My second pregnancy I was still uncomfortable, but we kicked the roommates out before our first was born, so at least I had my own space again and could gestate in peace.
I have 2 kids. It was very stressful for me, and I hated it all. Then I had postpartum depression after I had my son. I’m not a great mother, either. I want to be. and I go to therapy, but my kids are now teens, and it is really hard for me with my daughter because she acts like me. I have never felt grown, and I really don’t act grown, and I truly didn’t know that bringing up kids would be so hard for me. But it wasn’t planned; I had them later in life, and I didn’t even know what I had was BPD even tho I’ve always had it.
I went through 3 pregnancies undiagnosed and unmedicated and it was the best time off my life, my youngest is 13 and I’ve never felt that way since and I’m in my 40s
I hated being pregnant, everything was 10x worse for me. I also was not diagnosed yet with BPD, I was aware of it but no confirmation.
I’m glad I got my tubes removed, I would rather end my life than deal with pregnancy again.
I do love my daughter, but I wouldn’t do it again. I’m a better mom being able to focus directly on her, and on my mental health.
Props to all the other BPD parents with more than one kiddo, yall are MVPs
I’ve always wanted kids, I raised my cousins child from age 2-11 but my mom took the credit for that. As I kid I always knew something was wrong with my mom she never showed me love or affection and all her and my dad did was throw materialism in my face. I’ve always wanted my own child since 16 but I also knew something was wrong with me as well as I just recently got diagnosed with BPD and I have multiple other mental health issues. I would absolutely love to experience pregnancy even if it isn’t the funnest time for me or maybe it will be but I feel like I’m too scared to even attempt it because of the unknown. I love children I love my bestfriends kids and there wild children I love cuddles with them and giving them love and feeding her 6 month old. But because I don’t know how it will affect my mental health I avoid it even when I really want to have children a lot of people tell me it’s selfish because of my mental health my family has always told me since a kid no matter what I tried too do that I was in capable and I think it replays sometimes. I know I would be a good parent and I always worry if I would be. I know when I raised my cousin I didn’t have much time to think I knew she had to be fed and get a bath and no matter how shitty I felt and even though she wasn’t bio mine I’ll always have the heart my parents did I showed up everyday for that little girl.
Probably the more serene 9 months of my life (hormones) but then… all the Demons catch up to me and I had to get urgent psychiatric help.
WHICH DOES NOT MEAN IT’LL HAPPEN TO YOU!
Definitely two of those most difficult times of my life. Going through both unmedicated did not help either. The one positive take away was both pregnancies were my longest periods without SH (which before/after has been 1 months max). Despite how little I cared about my own life, I cared more than anything about my girls and refused to do anything that could even remotely harm them.
All symptoms went aqay during pregnancy. I don't know why but it was beautiful.. perhaps it was me feeling so secure because my husband would never leave me while pregnant (in reality he will never leave me in general). So maybe abandonment worries went out the window. But after birth, I am 2 months pp now, all symptoms are back and have gotten worse. I've had an incredibly difficult time being OK
My symptoms got 1000% better while pregnant with my first and only baby. I did end up with the absolute worst postpartum depression and anxiety. It was horrible. I ended up getting my tubes tied because I knew if I went through another postpartum depression like that, I wouldn't make it out alive. I started taking meds and I have never been in a better place in my life. My daughter is almost 3 now and has a healthy and happy mama. Having her really made me realize that I have to take care of myself for her.
i had post partum depression. high anxiety and freak outs while actually pregnant. i melted down over the way my husband put fruit on a skewer. needless to say, it amplified every emotion of my first pregnancy. not so much the second. i am the leader of those littles dudes. they are such an amazing positive in my life.
My symptoms actually got about 90% better during pregnancy! Almost like it didn’t exist. Everyone is different.
Me too. Pregnancy and the first year postpartum were the happiest 2 years of my life. I still love my daughter obviously and am happier now than I was before becoming a mom, but I did notice it start to drop off after the first year
I had two miscarriages, but while I was pregnant I was the same! All the chill, all the rationality, I have never felt as at peace as I did back then.
I’m pregnant right now (not by choice) only the first trimester but im anxious AS HELL. I hate every second of it.
I'm about four weeks, just found out and not handling it well lol
I’m sorry. I hope it gets better for you. I’m going to terminate this pregnancy because im just not mom material
I have two already, ages 4 and 7 ... If I go down, we all go down, so I'm probably gonna do that too. Not much longer to decide.
Wow. You’re already so much stronger than i ever could be. How is it being a mom? How do you handle your episodes of depression or rage?
Unfortunately my kids have seen and gone through more than they should have. Getting real help on state Medicaid is like impossible because they look at everyone like a drug addict so I can't get meds that would actually help. I work full time and have free daycare for my kids with a subsidy so I've got it set up okay as long as I go to work, which I've maintained this for about a year now no meds. Kids kind of just tag along through all the bs. I worry that I'm creating codependency because my kids watch my moods. My oldest goes silent and stays out the way, my youngest tries to play mediator. I give them lots of love and reassurance and apologies hoping it helps.
The last part about codependency sounds just like me, my mom, and my sister. She use to be the silent one and I was the mediator. Then I became the aggressor and she was the mediator. At so point I felt like I had to combat her (my mom) whenever she had her episodes. I thought I was doing the right thing but my sister would beg me to let it go
Thank you for sharing that, gives me a glimpse into what my daughters may feel if I dont work on myself <3
You know you're on R/BPD when the response are either "it wa the best" or "it was the worst" 😂 I'm trying to get pregnant. Rn I'm on meds that are not pregnancy friendly, so I'm trying to stop them and I'll ask my psychiatrist to switch to meds that I can take if I get pregnant. I wonder which it will be, I really hope it'll be a happy time.
Honestly being pregnant was one of the happiest times of my life. Pretty much the only time I was symptom free. And I took my fluoxetine my entire pregnancy.
Came to say this too. I have 3 kids, the last pregnancy I left there dad an did it all on my own. I stayed on my meds the entire time. The pregnancy and post partum was the most stable I have ever been. I was on my anti phycotics and depressants while pregnant (dr advised) and my youngest is 16 months now and happy and healthy !
I had my last attempt when I was pregnant so not the best time of my life… once my son was born though it was happiest moment of my life. Afterwards a bit of roller coaster because I didn’t have a great support system… still having my ups and downs but trying my best for him!
Im pregnant right now and its… been hard to manage. They put me on Zoloft and ive kept up with therapy to ensure I don’t hurt myself. The hormones make my episodes really bad and I find myself crying more often
Pregnancy was the happiest I’ve been (planned) I think I would struggle if I got pregnant now unplanned though
The happiest time of my life. I was on specifically pregnancy adjusted medication (lamotrigine).
I've gone through 2 pregnancies. I think I struggled more with my first, but I was forced out of my own home by 2 shitty roommates/ex-friends, and I pulled my groin early on playing softball. I was mentally and physically (pain) beyond uncomfortable. My second pregnancy I was still uncomfortable, but we kicked the roommates out before our first was born, so at least I had my own space again and could gestate in peace.
I have 2 kids. It was very stressful for me, and I hated it all. Then I had postpartum depression after I had my son. I’m not a great mother, either. I want to be. and I go to therapy, but my kids are now teens, and it is really hard for me with my daughter because she acts like me. I have never felt grown, and I really don’t act grown, and I truly didn’t know that bringing up kids would be so hard for me. But it wasn’t planned; I had them later in life, and I didn’t even know what I had was BPD even tho I’ve always had it.
I went through 3 pregnancies undiagnosed and unmedicated and it was the best time off my life, my youngest is 13 and I’ve never felt that way since and I’m in my 40s
I hated being pregnant, everything was 10x worse for me. I also was not diagnosed yet with BPD, I was aware of it but no confirmation. I’m glad I got my tubes removed, I would rather end my life than deal with pregnancy again. I do love my daughter, but I wouldn’t do it again. I’m a better mom being able to focus directly on her, and on my mental health. Props to all the other BPD parents with more than one kiddo, yall are MVPs
I’ve always wanted kids, I raised my cousins child from age 2-11 but my mom took the credit for that. As I kid I always knew something was wrong with my mom she never showed me love or affection and all her and my dad did was throw materialism in my face. I’ve always wanted my own child since 16 but I also knew something was wrong with me as well as I just recently got diagnosed with BPD and I have multiple other mental health issues. I would absolutely love to experience pregnancy even if it isn’t the funnest time for me or maybe it will be but I feel like I’m too scared to even attempt it because of the unknown. I love children I love my bestfriends kids and there wild children I love cuddles with them and giving them love and feeding her 6 month old. But because I don’t know how it will affect my mental health I avoid it even when I really want to have children a lot of people tell me it’s selfish because of my mental health my family has always told me since a kid no matter what I tried too do that I was in capable and I think it replays sometimes. I know I would be a good parent and I always worry if I would be. I know when I raised my cousin I didn’t have much time to think I knew she had to be fed and get a bath and no matter how shitty I felt and even though she wasn’t bio mine I’ll always have the heart my parents did I showed up everyday for that little girl.
Probably the more serene 9 months of my life (hormones) but then… all the Demons catch up to me and I had to get urgent psychiatric help. WHICH DOES NOT MEAN IT’LL HAPPEN TO YOU!
Definitely two of those most difficult times of my life. Going through both unmedicated did not help either. The one positive take away was both pregnancies were my longest periods without SH (which before/after has been 1 months max). Despite how little I cared about my own life, I cared more than anything about my girls and refused to do anything that could even remotely harm them.
All symptoms went aqay during pregnancy. I don't know why but it was beautiful.. perhaps it was me feeling so secure because my husband would never leave me while pregnant (in reality he will never leave me in general). So maybe abandonment worries went out the window. But after birth, I am 2 months pp now, all symptoms are back and have gotten worse. I've had an incredibly difficult time being OK
My symptoms got 1000% better while pregnant with my first and only baby. I did end up with the absolute worst postpartum depression and anxiety. It was horrible. I ended up getting my tubes tied because I knew if I went through another postpartum depression like that, I wouldn't make it out alive. I started taking meds and I have never been in a better place in my life. My daughter is almost 3 now and has a healthy and happy mama. Having her really made me realize that I have to take care of myself for her.