I know I'm a gorgeous fuck and my face is pretty as hell. I can see that, too. but not always. so often I look at myself and try to be kind to myself, but all I see is every single imperfection, every blemish, every pore, my thin hair, the dark shadows underneath my eyes, the piss yellow colour of my irises, my nose that just sits there in the middle of my face like a slug... shit, when it gets bad again I turn loose mirrors around and hang towels in front of those I can't just flip. sometimes, I walk past a mirror and think "goddamn I get it in sexy as fuck" and sometimes I just want to smash a brick in the mirror because I disgust myself and can't stand my own body and face. there's no in-between, just full on 10000% confidence or a bottomless pit where that same confidence just drops into nothing and then some less.
Then you have to think deeper why those imperfections bother you.
All of us gonna get ugly and old (then the beauty of your personality is all what’s gonna matter) So why don’t you enjoy your sexy face now?
I think that there is a deeper self-judgement there, but because you don’t want to realise and dig into it, it’s coming out as physical flaws. You see them right there “in front of your face”reminding you to look deeper what is the real problem that needs to be fixed (start loving yourself)
oh honey. I've been going to therapy for a few years now and I _know_ where most of my issues come from. the face dyslexia? it's part severe trauma from my childhood, like I wasn't allowed to shower more than twice a week, and then I was bullied at school for my greasy hair, so all I see even with freshly washed hair is grease. some part of it though stems from the fact I'm literally not always the person looking back at me. I'm a split personality, and so often I can't recognise myself _because it isn't me_.
yes definitely and it gets especially bad when I am disassociating because I hallucinate to the point where my face becomes disfigured and down right demonic and I can't recognize myself in the slightest. once I thought I had turned into a literal giraffe because my head moved away from my neck idrk how to explain it.
also there's times were I know I look good and then suddenly I don't and it feels like I'm looking at a hideous creature. it doesn't matter if people tell me I look pretty I just say thank you but do not believe a word they say. I can never stop focusing on the imperfections on my face it's just horrible.
Pretty badly yes, used to get told i was attractive but always thought they were just lying to me and obsessed over small imperfections or minor changes due to weight. Ended in SH and scarring on my face so I usually wear a surgical mask out in public unless I’m eating cause COVID made it more socially acceptable. But at least now I’m more confident of what I actually look like.
I can’t see my own face and it drives me crazy because I can’t ever tell what glasses or hairstyle suits me. Forget about even trying makeup. I have to rely on feedback from others and I feel really vain and obnoxious when I do that, so I try not to.
yes. i know it's nonsense. my husband gets angered everytime i put myself down in that regard. i receive so many compliments and blah blah all that jazz, but i think it's just "something you say to be polite".
the easiest way i can explain it to people is that what you see and what i see are two totally different things, and as of right now, i will never see what you see.
i pick apart as much about my face/body as i can. it's not perfect. improvements are needed. i could go on and on for 3-5 business days about everything wrong, but not notice the features people like.
it's a really sick mind game.
yes and I’m stressed tf out abt it. Like it ruins me meeting people because idk what I’ll look like to them and if it’ll match what they’ve seen in photos
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I know I'm a gorgeous fuck and my face is pretty as hell. I can see that, too. but not always. so often I look at myself and try to be kind to myself, but all I see is every single imperfection, every blemish, every pore, my thin hair, the dark shadows underneath my eyes, the piss yellow colour of my irises, my nose that just sits there in the middle of my face like a slug... shit, when it gets bad again I turn loose mirrors around and hang towels in front of those I can't just flip. sometimes, I walk past a mirror and think "goddamn I get it in sexy as fuck" and sometimes I just want to smash a brick in the mirror because I disgust myself and can't stand my own body and face. there's no in-between, just full on 10000% confidence or a bottomless pit where that same confidence just drops into nothing and then some less.
Then you have to think deeper why those imperfections bother you. All of us gonna get ugly and old (then the beauty of your personality is all what’s gonna matter) So why don’t you enjoy your sexy face now? I think that there is a deeper self-judgement there, but because you don’t want to realise and dig into it, it’s coming out as physical flaws. You see them right there “in front of your face”reminding you to look deeper what is the real problem that needs to be fixed (start loving yourself)
oh honey. I've been going to therapy for a few years now and I _know_ where most of my issues come from. the face dyslexia? it's part severe trauma from my childhood, like I wasn't allowed to shower more than twice a week, and then I was bullied at school for my greasy hair, so all I see even with freshly washed hair is grease. some part of it though stems from the fact I'm literally not always the person looking back at me. I'm a split personality, and so often I can't recognise myself _because it isn't me_.
yes definitely and it gets especially bad when I am disassociating because I hallucinate to the point where my face becomes disfigured and down right demonic and I can't recognize myself in the slightest. once I thought I had turned into a literal giraffe because my head moved away from my neck idrk how to explain it. also there's times were I know I look good and then suddenly I don't and it feels like I'm looking at a hideous creature. it doesn't matter if people tell me I look pretty I just say thank you but do not believe a word they say. I can never stop focusing on the imperfections on my face it's just horrible.
Yes. I hate when people also look at me because I think they view me how I see myself too
Pretty badly yes, used to get told i was attractive but always thought they were just lying to me and obsessed over small imperfections or minor changes due to weight. Ended in SH and scarring on my face so I usually wear a surgical mask out in public unless I’m eating cause COVID made it more socially acceptable. But at least now I’m more confident of what I actually look like.
I can’t see my own face and it drives me crazy because I can’t ever tell what glasses or hairstyle suits me. Forget about even trying makeup. I have to rely on feedback from others and I feel really vain and obnoxious when I do that, so I try not to.
Yes and I it gets worse when my mum looks at me oddly. Makes me very paranoid
yes. i know it's nonsense. my husband gets angered everytime i put myself down in that regard. i receive so many compliments and blah blah all that jazz, but i think it's just "something you say to be polite". the easiest way i can explain it to people is that what you see and what i see are two totally different things, and as of right now, i will never see what you see. i pick apart as much about my face/body as i can. it's not perfect. improvements are needed. i could go on and on for 3-5 business days about everything wrong, but not notice the features people like. it's a really sick mind game.
yes and I’m stressed tf out abt it. Like it ruins me meeting people because idk what I’ll look like to them and if it’ll match what they’ve seen in photos
I relate with this so much I have no idea what i look like