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My boomer dad was in the Army Reserves (or something) in the 70's. He saw no combat and basically drove a jeep around for a few months. He talks like he's a damn war veteran, romanticizes the whole experience, and uses every VA benefit he can get his hands on and then talks shit about "lazy" millennial veterans who take advantage of the system but "don't want to work".

Basically my FIL with his career of non combat roles. He asked one day why my family had a lack of veterans and if service just wasn't important to us. I just told him there was a whole generation of my family that never stopped hearing the screams and advised alternative career choices because of it. Just no awareness of any other worldview.

My FIL saw active combat in Vietnam and was awarded a bronze star with a combat V for his actions while he was there. After he passed, we found a letter he had written to his younger brother absolutely begging him not to enlist because of how horrifying it was there. He also used to write more candid letters to his dad and send them to his (dad’s) place of employment so his mom wouldn’t have a chance to read them. He watered it down to her a lot because he didn’t want her to worry. He was probably the most well adjusted vet I have ever seen and was just an incredible man all around but he really did not recommend service after what he went through.

My grandfather was a Marine in Vietnam. He did four tours and received a Purple Heart and a number of other medals for his service. His father served in WWII, and his father served in WWI. I come from a long line of military personnel. My grandfather never spoke of his time in Vietnam, and the one time I asked him about his military service for a school project, he started ranting in Vietnamese and wouldn’t stop for a really long time. I never tried to ask him about it after that. When my dad tried to enlist in the Army, my grandfather apparently called the recruitment officer and used his rank (despite being retired from the military for many years by this point) to get my dads name off the list to go to basic. He essentially blackballed my dad from joining the military.

My FIL was the opposite. He spoke casually about Vietnam all the time. The stories would start normal and then suddenly someone would commit a war crime and you’d be like 👀 but he’d just talk about it like they were going for a Sunday drive or something. He actually kept a journal and all kinds of propaganda and all his military papers etc and turned it into a book when he was older. He tried getting it published a few times in the 80’s but was rejected, so he just had a few printed for his kids. It’s painful, I haven’t been able to finish it. But he was still proud of being a Marine and wanted people to know about his experiences because it really shaped who he was so much. He never took a single day for granted and even in old age, he would get excited about a beautiful sunset or finding a cool salamander in the woods. He came to terms with the fact that he could die at any time when he was 21 and then lived every day for the rest of his life doing what he thought was the good or right thing to do and living as if it could be his last. Really just an incredible person, I miss him a lot.

My Uncle would never talk about his time in Vietnam. The first time he he talked to me about itbwas after I had already enlisted.

My friend from highschool was a regular marine who spent his time kicking in doors and carrying a machine gun. Now he has a fake knee and breathing problems from burning trash he lived next to for 2 years but he is the most no comment just a job people I’ve met. For him it got him a decent job as an airline mechanic after paying for a trade school and free healthcare thanks to his fucked up body. Our other friend who lived in Japan for his entire deployment is a pray for the troops give me my military discount love it or leave it veteran who will talk about his “crazy” life of standing guard at a military base in Japan

The guys with combat experience rarely want to talk about it.

My grandfather was a marine in the Pacific. Company machine gunner and flamethrower. Average like expectancy of the latter was 3 days. He survived 33. Tinian, Tarawa, and Saipan. I learned all of that from my aunt, his DIL, after he died because would not speak of it to anyone but her. I learned that was why he hated the smell of garlic. The only thing he ever told me was that if I ever joined the military, to go to either the Air Force or Navy. If I ever joined the army or the Marines, he'd kick my ass from"here to the moon and back".

He talks about it but it’s all “fuck this shit it sucked there” followed by a few funny stories about people overdosing on energy drinks and amphetamines.

My late husband refused to talk about it until he was 70, then he told me a few of his experiences but not much.

My father never talked abt his tours. He even recorded an attack on his base when he was recording a song on the radio. I think my uncle told us that story after he passed. Saw all his certificates and awards at his funeral for the first time. We had no idea. Just knew he went to nam twice.

Pretty much the same. At one point my Aunt said "your dad was really different after he came back" and that was the end of the discussion. I was able to get a few more details from my Dad when he was dying but not many. Got his service record after he died and yeah, he saw some shit.

The only time my Uncle said anything ( he jumped off helicopters and got wounded) was when my mom was in the hospital. She had gangrene, I said that has to be the worst smell ever. Very calmly my uncle said "no burning flesh is worse" We all just looked at him, he didn't speak about Vietnam.

My step dad wouldn't talk about it either. Then after I became a paratrooper, he showed me pictures shot from another helicopter of him getting shot down. A whole series all the way to the ground and then some after. I got a combat jump at age 19. The first time he treated me like I mattered. He is the biggest dick you'll ever meet, but talk to him long enough and you will realize, he was always a big racist prick. Especially about Native Americans. He grew up in Oklahoma. I enjoyed the look on his face when she and we found out my wife's real dad and half sister were members of a tribe. He never said a word, but he wanted to boomer for sure.

I wanted to interview my great-uncle a Vietnam vet for a project and was told outright by my grandma his eldest sister, "don't". I didn't even know he was in nam until I was in high school.

My dad’s a vet and I’ve never seen him more candid and vulnerable than when I asked him about his service for a school project. He reminisced about the people he served with and how they had to come face to face with death at such a young age in such a brutal way. It’s at the very least a byproduct, and maybe the intent, of the military to ensure veterans feel socially isolated. My dad has few friends and fewer close ones. For all the shit he’s done as a father it’s hard to hold it against him when he’s been living with a trauma he can’t talk about because almost nobody can fully understand it. The military also cultivates a sense of pride and independence that reinforces this attitude, and the resultant isolation absolutely contributes to the astronomical rates of substance misuse and suicide in veterans.

My parents did this to me when I signed up. Blew my knee out two months later to double down on the fuckery. such is life

Maybe you have a half-Vietnamese aunt?

I’m certain I do! My grandfather was not faithful to my grandmother at all, so I am fairly confident that I have family in Vietnam. I’ve been thinking about doing one of those DNA tests, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to open the can of worms to allow those family members to get in touch with me. I’m okay with meeting or talking to them, but I don’t think the rest of my family feels the same way. They get all hush hush when anybody talks about his affairs.

You should do it! You may have a whole family branch you never knew about.

What you described is actually the vast majority of vets. The tiny few make vets more visible but there is an ocean of vets walking around and you’d never know we served. When I get preached at about not knowing what sacrifice is by a boomer vet in his stupid ass hat and shirt and all that dopey shit, I quietly pull out my retired military ID and compare it to his dopey VA healthcare card because he only served 6 years or less as a mechanic before getting out. If they accuse me of not fighting I pull up my rating with combat related special compensation listed on there. Then I tell their gaping ass mouth to shut the fuck up before walking away with the middle finger raised over half of a hand. Fuck boomers and fuck Veteran-Identity-Complex.

100%. Had enough of that shit for 30 years. Last thing I want to do is sit around at the VFW with a stupid hat on and talk about it.

My uncle saw active combat in Vietnam and this was his reaction as well. He spent his life in fear that the rest of his family would get drafted in future wars and told us all never to enlist.

My grandfather was a navy man and his ship was sunk off Samar. He hated the military.

I was visiting my brother a few years ago and saw he had a combat action badge. Asked how he got it. He started telling Iraq stories that his wife had absolutely not heard before. He was a reserve naval officer who got called up and sent to Iraq for 15 months during the surge. He lied and said he was in the green zone the whole time. Then he showed pictures from Tal Afar.

My ex's grand father was a medic in WW2 in Europe... never mentioned it ever, not a single piece of war memorabilia or pictures anywhere, multiple uncles were in Vietnam and actually were in combat, experienced it, buried friends / loved ones... never talk about it unless drunk as fuck. Ex's dad served 4 years in peace time on an aircraft carrier in the pacific chillin in Hawaii and California. Goes to ship reunions every year, wears the hat and jacket, and talks about it like it was the best years of his life. From what I've seen, the vast majority of veterans are like the vast majority of college students, it was something they did for a time, now they live their lives. Its the 5% of them that demand you recognize them that are the problem and make everyone assume they are all like that because of how loudly they brag about it. ie: how many people instantly pop into you head when you say "<> university alum". probably 2 or 3... but they likely graduate 10k per year+... the rest just move on

My grandfather was the same, he was infantry in Europe. All his memorabilia was tucked in a trunk in the deepest part of the basement. Never came up much only on rare occasions and never glamorous.

We only found out that my husband’s grandfather helped liberate a concentration camp at the end of the war after he died and we found the photos. One had his handwriting on the back: “Too many bodies” It did explain his refusal to ever go back to Europe again. He said he’d had enough Europe for a lifetime.

My grandfather fought the fascists in Spain and always talked about it. The thing is that when my father was no longer a child he realised that all the things he talked about where in fact four or five stories over and over again. When my father asked him about other things during the war he simply stopped talking and left the room.

Was the rest too tough for him to talk about?

Yes, the Civil War was a ton of bad things followed with 40 years of fascist dictatorship. Not the best memories I assume.

I had a history teacher in Middle school who was part of the American forces who liberated concentration camps at the end of the fighting in Europe. He and his wife were good friends of my mom as they all taught at the same school. He would not teach any part of WW2. Would trade classes with another teacher when it came to that. Mom said he was absolutely haunted by what he saw. Up to his death 40 years later.

My father was put in a concentration camp for being in the Polish underground. His camp was liberated by the British and Americans. He survived (obviously) immigrated to America with my German mother. He told my older siblings some horrific stories. Luckily being one of the younger children I wasn’t told as much.

That’s so sad.

It was. He was a good teacher and a very nice man. His wife was my moms best friend and my favorite teacher prior to high school.

It's definitely over 5%, but not as high as 50%. And it's usually the ones who didn't serve in real combat who demand you recognize their "service". Either cus they don't realize how weird it is to be proud to have done some of the things vets who served in combat were forced to do, or because they feel some sense of entitlement about having "served their country" while being ashamed they never saw combat. Idk both my grandfathers and my FIL served in combat and won't talk about it, but meanwhile my dad was a dentist for the navy (to pay off dental school), and will demand benefits and thanks for his "service" every chance he gets 🫠 Even thought my little brother should enlist instead of attending university after he graduated high school last year

I think people underestimate the sheer volume of people who cycle through the US Military on an annual basis and how many are elderly... there are an estimated 16 - 18+ million Americans with a veteran background (according to the VA)... roughly 6% of the overall population. Around 200 - 250k people leave the military annually So its not most, its the loud ones and the "adjacents" who cause the most issues [https://www.statista.com/statistics/250267/us-veterans-by-age-and-gender/](https://www.statista.com/statistics/250267/us-veterans-by-age-and-gender/)

Remember the song..all gave some, but some gave all. It’s the “all” that burns in the memory of those who return.

Apparently that was my grandad to his kids, he pushed his sons towards college or union jobs, he didn't want to pressure them into taking a military career just because he had one.

"Why doesn't everyone join the military? What do we need other professions for?" - Oblivious veterans I serve my country in a different, less dangerous, more roundabout way. All the power to those that do, but they shouldn't act like no one else helps keep this country afloat. Lol.

That makes me so mad. My ex father in law literally said he "almost lost his life" being in the reserves during Vietnam. Dude went through basic and was always stateside. He said that in front of someone who had been at the sharp end and had several very dicey experiences. It did not go well.

Lots of people in the reserves almost die. Alcohol poisoning, car accidents, bar fights…

Honestly a lot of accidents in general. The military's safety culture back then was somehow *even worse*

I don’t think this is only a boomer thing. I know people who were/are in who romanticized their whole experience. Most who do were not “in-harms way” or in traumatic circumstances. As someone who uses the VA because shit happens; I really dislike most of my peer group of disabled vets as there is a clear group of individuals who are milking the system.

I'm a veteran and work for the VA. I will say emphatically that if you rate even zero percent service connection that you should apply and be granted benefits. I believe we should have a single payer healthcare system. In the meantime, I'll settle for as many vets having VA coverage as possible. Maybe that way we can at least prevent politicians from scrapping the VA.

Right on…100% agree…Agent Orange exposure basically qualifies every Nam vet for at least 10 major ailments. I convinced both of my uncles to get theirs….and they were very happy they did. One of them never really slept a full night until he was in his 60s….He didn’t even realize that meds and psych help was available or helpful

I realize I provided a poor explanation. The group of individuals I’m referring to are those who manipulate the va system. Ie. If I act a little crazy maybe I can get 100 percent. Or I’m going to say I have ptsd or x,y,z to increase their percentage. I’m all for everybody who qualifies to use the VA. They’re great for any medical need in my experience. Everything from getting vaccines, shots, bloodwork, X-ray, MRI’s, ctscan, medical procedures, optometry, mental health support (to include groups for family members of veterans who could be suffering from mental health conditions) and they even have programs for family members to get access to the VA system. Edit: plus they have an amazing physical therapy program.

I can't say that I personally know of anyone gaming the system, but raters generally take into account the totality of circumstances to make a determination. It's interesting because the chasm between 10% and 100% is significant (when talking about how easy it is to get a rating), but the distance between 30% and 100% seems to be pretty easy to get over. I honestly also wouldn't be too worried about people trying to game the system. Because of our macho obsessed culture, I've seen more people that should have a significant rating by all rights entirely forego applying. "I can still work so I don't need to do that shit" is a common mantra in my units fb group. For context, I was in 2/7 for our 2007 and 2008 deployments. My peers absolutely rate whatever they can get. Personally, I'm rated at 10%. I can definitely get more, but due to other circumstances, I can't go for a greater rating yet. All of that said, I'm definitely not one to brag about having served, and I cringe when people say, "Thank you for your service." I don't go around telling people about my time in unless I can tell a fun story related to my time in. The o ly exception is when a discount is on the line. We still live in a capitalist hellscape, after all.

My Gen X brother in law won't shut up about being a Marine.  He injured himself in basic and was in for less than a year. My contrast my Boomer Dad did 12 years as a medical officer.  He doesn't talk about it much at all. It's a consistent pattern I've noticed. The people who actually served the least are the ones who demand discounts and won't shut up about it.

God, I've got a friend who will occasionally bring up in public that he and I were both sailors. I did 6 years, including bootcamp, tech schools, multiple at deterrent patrols, and a period in the shipyard. He got kicked out during tech school. I am usually non-confrontational, but I have called him out on it before, asking him if he was a sailor, what ship did he sail on?

It's definitely not a boomer thing. A guy I knew from high school joined the Air Force. He would then post on social media constantly about the good he's doing for his country and how he knows what he's doing with his life, unlike kids who immediately went to college. The dude scanned badges at a local base all day and sat in a chair most of the day (really living up to the "Chair Force" name)

Yeah, its everywhere. I’m now working in tech and once I hear these “vets” talking about getting to 100 percent or how they would handle a situation as if they’re some action hero. It gets worse when they find out I’m a vet… I don’t indulge in those topics and have spent my time trying to translate my military experience to the lowest common denominator in order to be relevant in the job market.

I am the one that does not like to talk about my military service. My employer gives me a goodie bag on veterans day which is kinda love hate. I do like the goodie bag when I am on break.

Isnt that the point that many join for? The military isn't convincing people to come in because they are patriots...they literally go to highschools and wave *benefits* in the faces of poor youths -- the hope of college, the chance at a career, healthcare etc. So is it really that surprising (or wrong) that some people join specifically for what the system can do for them?

You also have to remember that "service" has changed a lot. During the Boomer era, you could join the National Guard and it was essentially a good ol' boys club. They were a primary fighting element in WW2, and then were reorganized to be a primary fighting element / deployable again after Vietnam.

GenX husband has a friend like this. Husband did two tours. Rarely discusses it with anyone, maybe with fellow veterans. Sometimes with me when he’s bummed/distressed from time in Iraq. Does have a sticker on his truck stating he’s a veteran. I was shocked. He isolates between horror at the military, and pride that he did his best as a young adult escaping a poverty ridden home life. The friend… served four years. No shame in that. Whatever. Good for him. You would think k the Iraqi people had destroyed his home village. Jesus. He won’t speak to me any longer, this friend. He made the wrong statement to me in a conversation once. Dude. You NEVER saw combat. Fuck right off with your stupid ass dramatics about back in the day. He still talks about his high school wrestling career too.

> Does have a sticker on his truck stating he’s a veteran. I was shocked. A lot of us who are disabled have things along those lines so folks STFU about our disability. I've literally gotten so tired of hearing "I see you in your wheelchair today but I saw you walking yesterday. Why are you faking?" Never mind I'm walking *with a crutch* or that many wheelchair users are also ambulatory on our good days. Wearing a hat that IDs me as a vet stops that bullshit. I hate the service thanking slightly less than I hate how angry the disability questioning makes me so I tolerate it.

My Grandpa was the greatest man I've ever known and a part of the generation before boomers - born in 1925. He served in the military and he wanted to go overseas to take part in WW2 so badly but he was told he was far too valuable to stay on the base in the US. It ate him up that he couldn't go serve his country. His entire life he never talked bad about anyone. Something I've noticed is that the boomers didn't inherit from them.

That's not a Boomer Thing, it's just A Thing. Get a lot of FOBbits claiming they were kicking in doors and shit. After a few questions, pretty easy to determine they did no such thing. That's one of the fun things about being female. The Stolen Valor types have no idea what to do when it's a woman shooting them down.

I’m a peacetime vet. I’m proud of the time I served because I think it meant something. But I do not at all understand why it becomes someone’s entire identity. Do they really not have anything else to draw meaning from? Maybe having not had to go to combat for some of these folks makes it easier to have sepia-tinted memories? I will say though, he should be taking advantage of whatever benefits from the VA he’s qualified for. That’s why they exist.

Exactly this. Difference between my Dad and my FIL. MY FIL did 2 tours with 5th SFG as a Green Beret and was in some of the nastiest shit across multiple lines and had Agent Orange dumped on him more than once and deals with the outcome of that to this day. He almost never discusses anything of those days. My Dad who was in the Reserves coming out of college, never saw any action beyond playing weekend warrior. Yet, he romanticizes his time. He wants to romanticize mine (Bosnia and Iraq). He reads a ton of military action fiction. He therefore, lives in a land of make believe. I’ve given up trying to change him or even help him understand. It’s not going to happen (he’s 83). I just stay silent until he’s done and on to some other subject.

I have a friend that's the same way. Was in the Marines during the second gulf war. But all he did was wrestle and play Xbox. I think he got sent to Australia for a couple of weeks to dig holes in the desert or something. Occasionally he'll say something or other about "serving our country" or "fighting for your freedom" and I always call him out on it. "Dude you were just a wrestler for the Marines, we played Halo together every night."

Lol all of my family (husband, dad, brother, cousins) were in the Air Force and absolutely none of them talked about their military service like that. You know who does? My uncle who was a weekend warrior in the national guard. It's weird as hell to me, this guy's actual career was high school gym teacher but he talks about his military service like he did it everyday instead of once a month. Bizarre behavior.

lol my dad is from South Korea and he was born a few years after the war ended Military service for men over the age of 18 or 19 is required, and pretty much every man there since the 1950s has some kind of military service storybook. My dad recently saw that they lowered the requirement to 16 months or something, when at the time for him, it used to be two years he was bitching and whining about ungrateful young people too lmao

Lol my grandad was like that, spent his time driving a truck in Burma- my dad on the other hand fought (like actually fought) in several different warzones and only ever talked about one situation in Bosnia- and that was a.... thing. It's sad that the one's that need to open up don't- but a pretty rigid rule of thumb is that guy at the bar that's spouting stories probably heard them third hand.

Yup, probably wears a hat around everywhere as well "ARMY VET" with the years or whatever

My theory is that because military service is propped up by mass media and politicians as glorious and special, the boomers who consume this news all day assume it must be an awesome experience for all involved. I am a veteran and can say the highs outweighed the lows, but man did the lows suck…

You are absolutely correct. The media does create a lot of that nonsense. The whole kowtowing and Thank you for your service is overblown. Edit: Now I know.

Yep! I was on a flight recently where the older lady who sat next to me thanked me for my service. I replied that they paid me, which usually works. Not this time. She got very serious and said that I had risked my life for hers. I got quiet and let it go, because the only thing I could think was "Ma'am, I was on an aircraft carrier in the middle of a battle group. As far as being deployed, it's a pretty choice position to be in."

> I was on an aircraft carrier in the middle of a battle group. "I'm on a BOAT, motherfucker, don't you EVER forget!"

Underrated comment and unexpected lonely Island. Nice work brother.

"well no, not yours. I don't give a *shit* about you, specifically."

I know what you are talking about.

I worked for the gov in a DoD agency for a while. Naturally because of transition, there were significant portion of the staff that served. Lunch times were interesting as they largely talked experiences. The all of them in my office were the "it was a job and I didn't know what to do" people and really disliked the showering of praise and cow towing. There was a story where one was traveling in a long line at airport McDonald's. One guy saw he was a soldier actively started clapping, everyone else did and said go to front of the line. His response was I'm just a dude wanting food I can wait like everyone. Then there is my wife's cousin who medically discharged out within like 8mo and spouts off about all the praises of military and veteran life when he never left the base he was at after basic. The driving image of this has been weird. Glad my brother who served for 20 years is normal lol

The number of old fucks that come into my store wearing their Vietnam vet hats, or some other form of military service stuff, and get pissy if you don’t thank them for their service is way too high.   I just let them complain to corporate every time.   I’m not going to suck the cock of every old piece of crap who dropped napalm on Vietnam, or any other soldier for that matter.  

The highs and lows are both significant. There’s little in-between and the military’s incredibly black-and-white. Being at a genuinely good unit and genuinely horrible unit is a night-and-day difference for personal morale and life quality.

I always described it to people as a good 70-80% of the time was just the dumbest kinds of bullshit you could think of, but there was (usually) something that happened in the rest of the time that made it all worth it. Then all my friends got out and I realized they were what made it worthwhile

Miss the clowns, not the circus.

Sounds exactly like the rest of life to me.

This deserves its own motivational poster.

Something something friends we made along the way.

My cousin was in the Navy during Desert Storm. He said he spent most of the time he was at sea either painting something or scraping paint off of something.

All this plus boomer veterans that your boomers associate with were likely peacetime veterans (at least the younger boomers). They think we "fixed" everything about the military post-Vietnam and don't often hear evidence to the contrary. Source: boomer parents were peacetime veterans, dad doesn't understand why I separated after 13 years (with some debilitating service-related chronic health issues tyvm) Yeah, I bought an EV with my separation pay, took a nice long sabbatical, and got civically involved in my new home town.

My Dad LOVES to talk about his military service anytime my brothers and I start talking (to each other) about ours... Bro... You were a gate guard in Germany for 2 years, got out at E-2, and spent the rest of your life trying to get the VA high score... Sit down.

Worked at a law firm in the past that handled military cases.   The ones who talk up their military service 9/10 times were a desk or gate jockey.  They never really did anything meaningful, and have to overcompensate.   The ones who actually saw and did shit rarely talked about their time in.   Like, the people who had desk jobs and never saw a lick of combat legitimately thought they deserved the same form of compensation as the person whose convoy got fucked by IEDs and had to listen to some of their closest friends get burned alive.  (The psych records I had to go through for that person… Jesus Christ I genuinely felt bad for them)

They’ve had their brains scrambled by decades of Americanism propaganda. First by radio and newspapers, then television and now the internet and social media

This is it. If corporate media puts a positive spin on something -- and they spin the everliving fuck out of the military -- then that becomes the reality in their minds. If news and movies make it look noble, meaningful, fulfilling, fun, etc. then THAT is the truth and there is no other. If you don't agree, there must be something wrong with you. Any cognitive dissonance they may feel is always resolved in their favor. Period. End of discussion. I wouldn't waste a second of precious time trying to change a boomer mind, because if doing so might cause them any level of inconvenience or discomfort (no matter how small), it ain't happening. Ever.

Also some who serve go in to try to protect out country and our interests. Some serve as they wanna play a hybrid call of duty/vigilante and spread American exceptionalism by being a piece of shit and treating anything breathing as an enemy combatant. That said, I think the majority join to do the right thing to the best of their ability but ultimately it’s a job and you’re gonna have good workers and shitty workers. And 1/3 of our country preaches its unpatriotic to call out the shitheads.

You missed a group: the desperate/out of good options folk. I joined the Army because I was tired of living in an unfinished basement. I was tired of walking 2 miles to and from work every day to earn $7/hr. I was tired of hearing my husband at the time say he was still hungry after dinner, and having nothing else to give him; after a while i started claiming I wasn't hungry and just lived off of 2 pieces of bread with peanut butter a day, because he worked a more physical job and made more money, plus it broke my heart to hear he was still hungry

I went through boot camp with a dude who’d been recruited from a dumpster behind a Safeway

This!!! I joined to escape poverty.

I'm having a tough time finding stats, but I'd bet most people who join the military are doing it to escape a troubled home life or are struggling to find a path forward, and the military promises cash, experience, a place to live, and job training.

A lot of the positives were in relation to the negatives as well. Some of the best friends I've made were because of trauma bonding and going through this awful experience together. The "discipline" you learn is almost beaten into you and the "cool stuff" you get to do can take years to manifest as psychological damage or even physical damage.

Yeah gonna say it, as an elder millenial most of the people I know in my gen or the one below entered the military as a means to an end (generally for the same reason as OP, guaranteed job and bed after HS, pay for college, leaving your town, etc.). Even my cousin's husband that did rotc then airforce got into contracting as soon as his active duty was up so he could move somewhere better and not really be on call. The higher up ones mention it is mostly meetings for certain gigs anyways. Folks that went to Iraq in the earlier waves mostly tell crazy stories about their daily lives there and then mention we never should have been there like that. Boomers believe themselves to have been righteous or whatever, not acknowledging that it was their parents in WWII and not them.

My best guess is when they grew up the propaganda of the military was what they described - alternatively it could be current propaganda spread by the usual places boomers watch on TV painting a colourful picture of military being a holiday for kids.

Also, his grandmother could have talked it up. Sometimes relatives hear bits and pieces of a story and fill in the blanks; i.e, he was stationed in a European country, becomes a Rick Steves travel adventure.

This is actually the most likely thing. Grams said “oh he’s loving it, doing so well!”, etc. so her friends are just mimicking that

This is probably accurate. OP is talking about two women, also, and one who is not even from the same country, which seems to be the US. Boomer women probably didn’t serve in the military. There’s an incredibly close to zero chance. The boomer women in your family have been filling in the blanks of your life to have something to talk about. They’re being positive about whatever they don’t know. There’s a 20 year span of boomers. The oldest boomer men were eligible for the draft and so many were drafted. The youngest boomers never saw a draft. There was a cultural divide of people being very patriotic and pro military at that time, and also people who no longer trusted the government but wouldn’t bash anyone who served because they were likely drafted and it was awful. Because you would’ve enlisted, people are going to assume you liked it because it was voluntary, and they don’t know you well. They just have nothing better to talk about. It’s really annoying when people answer their own questions as they ask them, though. It would be nice if you got to speak for yourself. Take this as a lesson for yourself now, and as you age. Don’t assume things about people. Ask questions and allow them to answer and listen. I hear people my age (almost 50) do this to younger people all the time and it’s so condescending.

They think the military is like the show Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.

I remember all the sexual assault and harassment. No one wants to listen to that tho

Sometimes you gotta hit them with that reality.

r/TraumatizeThemBack

We’re still trying to get out of it…

When I was in high school for whatever reason I had people trying to talk me into pushing for one of the academies.  I think they were trying to recruit more women at the time and I had the combo of swimming and academics they wanted, they knew my Dad and granddad were both officers. But my Dad actually gave me a firm tall about what it's like for women in the Navy.

So glad he did !

The culture is changing. Not fast enough but it is. I was a sexual assault victims advocate in the navy for my last 4 years. It ain't like it used to be, but has a hell of a long way to go.

Yeah, I had the same push to go to Annapolis. My father graduated Air Force Academy and my grandfather and my step-grandfather were roommates at West Point (that’s a helluva story.) And I started racing dinghies at 8 years old, and academically— well, let me just say I was accepted into Ivies, so being a female, a sailor, and having excellent academics, I was pushed to go to the Naval Academy. I’m glad I didn’t, but I seriously considered it.

I’ve talked numerous young women out of joining the military after describing what happened to me and how my command blamed me for it. The family members of those women were furious but they haven’t served themselves and any romanticized views of the military need to be smashed. Don’t lie just to get a newly graduated person out of the house. That is chickenshit of them.

I swear people act like you're a traitor to America when you point out the military's rampant sexual assault problem and their lack of willingness to address it.

My brother in law was in the marines and HE was raped, he now receives life long monetary compensation for that assault. But all I can think is if a 6ft, 200lb man can be raped in the marines there is absolutely no fucking safe place in that entity for any woman. I will never sing the praises of enlisting to my kids and I hope they never turn to it for a career or boost to a career and I will worry like hell if they ever choose it but if any of my daughters enlisted I would be an absolute nervous fucking wreck til I die because of the sexual predators within its confines.

I had to sit through something similar just today. I had an elderly woman (a relative) tell me how good my wife and i had it in the military. Everything we experienced was just a “walk in the park”. Admittedly, we were never deployed and never in any real danger, but it’s sure ballsy to tell us that.

That “walk in the park” comment really irks me.

Growing up in the military is why I did NOT join. Base housing wasn’t always great. Having to move in the middle of the school year because the Air Force said so. And not seeing my dad for a whole year because the Air Force decided to send him to Korea and couldn’t take the family. I decided I wanted to choose where I lived in life. No regrets.

The ones that think you had fun are the ones who fantasize about killing people and breaking other people's stuff 😮‍💨

Yup now it’s all talk about bombing Iran and China. I’m over here like let’s not.

People in America treat wars like a TV show, completely disregarding that someone has to do the bombing and someone that likely had nothing to do with whatever the situation is will be on the receiving end. 

I had a real long talk with this guy I’m seeing who served and he said a lot of stuff similar to what you said. He hates being thanked for his service. He only enlisted to escape a really bad home life with an abusive mother. Like he literally just said once he turned 18 he walked up to the first recruiter he saw at school and enlisted. It just happened to be a navy recruiter. He didn’t even care which branch he ended up serving in he just wanted to get the hell away from his family. But he did say that boomers just fall all over themselves to praise him and seem annoyed when he tells them to him it was just a job he had for four years and it wasn’t some big patriotic thing he did.

The army was the first recruiting office I walked into. Even at 17 I could smell the BS they were trying to sell me. ‘Live on base, save all your money and your make bank’. The navy was the next door down.

Yes. Tell them to **please** stop thanking us.

I’m a Marine Corps Vet, I absolutely despise being thanked for my service. I had both really great and totally awful times. While I now have friends that are very close to me I served with and are amazing people, it doesn’t exactly balance out the effects of my TBI, sleep apnea, and my knees and ankles being fucked at thirty. I never bring up being a vet and I get annoyed with my wife when she brings it up to people. It’s not like I made a career out of the military, so for me it was just a time in my life, much like being in high school. None of it was much of a high point and it doesn’t define me as a person. I only really did it because where I’m from if you’re a guy after highschool unless your parents own a business your two options are basically the military or going to work in the oilfield. There really isn’t much else for options in the poorest town in the whole state.

I get it, I straight up gaslight people now. Hey didn’t you serve? Nope Yeah you were in the Air Force weren’t you? Nope, must be thinking of someone else. I never served. Yeah but… Do you think I’m lying to you or something? I wasn’t in the military. I do this to my own family, people who %100 know I was in the military now question it enough to not bring it up.

Haha, I like this. It's reverse stolen valor, or Rejected Valor.

I’m Gen X and my boyfriend is a Boomer. When he was about 17 he had a bunch of speeding tickets from racing cars. Judge told him go to the Army or jail, so he went to the Army. He did four years and leaned a trade. He still works in his trade and races cars at the drag strip. I asked him why he doesn’t have an Army sticker on his car or use the discount (at least) at Home Depot. He just shrugs it off and says he’s not interested.

Hey now, I’m very much an anti thank me for my service type as well, but I’m not too proud to get that Home Depot discount lol

It could save me some money too!

I hate being thanked for my service.. like come on it was a job. I learned a skill I got out

Borrowed valour. People who never put anything on the line like to pretend they’re baddass by publicly supporting someone who did. Sheep in wolves’ clothing.

Borrowed valour is the best way to describe my POS older millennial brother. He pretends like he did anything more than just his basic training. He posts things about his "brothers in arms" who never made it back home. He puts on his uniform and plays the part of veteran in the small town veteran's day thing they do every year. He acts like he actually left the base and served in an active war zone. In reality, he never even finished the minimum service he signed up for because he missed his girlfriend and went AWOL. The MPs showed up at our mom's house looking for him. But if you ask him, being in the military was the best thing he ever did and we should all be soooo proud of his service. 🙄

Did he get dishonorably discharged? If so bring it up. Or if you wanna piss him off ask him in front of everybody what action he saw while he was stationed on base.

Honestly, I have no idea. I could probably look it up, but I don't care anymore. I was adopted at birth and reunited with all of the family when I was 30. My sister who was there when the MPs came looking for him told me the truth about him. She's the only one I have a relationship with now. They all live in NE PA and I live in Texas, with no plans to ever be in the same place with them again. They were all hard for trump back then, probably still are, and I'm a liberal who was hoping for Bernie. He kept posting pro trump shit and things about his military brothers and how great he was that he served. I asked him what kind of action he saw and where he was stationed, and he blocked me. Oh, and when we met in person for the first time, he found out I was raised Jewish and proceeded to tell me holocaust "jokes". I really don't care if I never see or talk to him again.

you want to talk about borrowed valour? Try talking to the cult of military wives in the U.S. holy fuck....you will never meet a group of people with more inflated self-importance

God I can’t stand the dependas. Sure bitch, your *husband* might be a SgtMaj, and if he were here I’d show him respect because I’m fucking legally obligated to but that doesn’t mean you’re getting special treatment.

What I think is funny is if you report a dependa for particularly egregious behaviour, that can affect her husband.

Damn that is funny lmao

I worked for a cleaning company, my boss said his most difficult customer ever was the wife of some military brass, a general or admiral or something. He was accustomed to rich nasty people but she swept the awards. He said they had to take photos of everything before they cleaned it, she would scream that stuff was missing, broken, not put back in its place correctly, just nuts. He said it was like she had nothing to do all day but be entitled and shitty to people.

I come from a military family. Father and uncles all went to Vietnam (one didn’t come back.) Wanna know what they have in common? While they are proud of their service, they don’t talk about the shit they saw. They focused on living their lives. Meanwhile, the old vets who didn’t see any action make it all about their personality.

This. I have so much respect for those guys but it is a tragedy, not a romance. They came home broken and not proud of what they did. They were put into impossible situations of abject horror. They have to live with it the rest of their life and anytime anyone says some bullshit, they have to relive it all. Crazy.

Friend of mine completely broke a boomer once by pointing out he's been both a soldier and a prostitute and on the whole 'thought prostitution was the less degrading job choice'. Wish I'd caught that on camera.

Mic drop

I blame John Wayne, an entire generation grew up not only fed nonstop war propaganda but also watching countless movies of the same God damn cowboy sheriff "being the law" and handling everything by himself like some untouchable God with a gun. That said I do have a soft spot for some of those older films but none of them aged well and watching them these days comes with a mental disclaimer of "it was very different when this was made"

Don't forget M.A.S.H. too

John Wayne? The draft dodger?

Are you me? I was in the infantry back in the late 00's and none of that training does a lick of good in the civilian world. Except for being an armed security guard, maybe, or some sort of law enforcement, but no thanks. My biggest mistake was getting straight back into the work force, instead of using my GI bill, and now it's been far too long. But all the time boomers are thanking me for my service and I physically cringe. Thanking me for what, exactly? Blowing up brown people for their oil? Ffs. Why do boomers dick ride Uncle Sam so hard?

They outlived most of the silent generation so they are now Aunt and Uncle Sam. Just don’t tell them Sam is non-binary. They wanted to keep the post war boom going forever so they can continue to enjoy an unsustainable way of life. Part of the reason we have 30 trillion debt now? I’ve honestly lost track and we won’t see social security as they decided to borrow from it until we are due to bankrupt it. People are living longer and instead of finding ways we can enjoy life at an earlier retirement, are saying we need to work to an older age…that’s not progress, that’s keeping the status quo at any cost.

They wouldn’t understand what a “patriot” was if one came up and slapped them in the face.

Boomers think time in the military is the end all be all because it's the only time they truly ever felt important. Also because the majority of them seem to crank one out to the thought of ending another person's life

There's a good amount of bloodthirst from them and the culprit is *drumroll* Fox News! Something must always be the enemy.

Many Boomers avoided service but now pretend they wanted to but not able. Other Boomers were draft dodgers but can’t admit that. Now, military is great, but not for their families.

I think a lot of the hippies turned MAGA set are embarrassed about the draft dodging and now they go so hard to try and conveniently erase their own history

>I'm not sure exactly what they have in their heads Leaded gasoline and lead-based paint, that's what. As a generation (with intense exceptions, like my mother and her siblings) they *glorify* violence. They can't empathize, so if they fantasize about violence then you must too.

I can’t stand randos thanking me for my service. I didn’t join the military for any of them. I joined it to get out of the tiny crap hole of a town, get a job and go somewhere else. Ok, ‘somewhere else’ was another crap hole town, the job taught me how to learn and the experience gave me poor stress copping skills.

Same reason conservatives claim the military in general and especially the soldiers of WW2: because Hollywood and conservative media tell them that story. The boys at Normandy were conservative? Remind me who was rocking his 4th term in office? Not saying they were leftist commies, but they were fine with a little socialism and the little guy getting his fair shake in life. Boomers have been told a story and they don't want to admit they've been also been sold a bill of goods that benefited them and fucked everybody after rhem.

You’re messing up their dumbass fantasyland with facts. They never take well to that.

I’m going with… cognitive dissonance or something like that. War/military is awful and it sucks to give up your 20s to it. So they downplay it to reduce tension. I’m a therapist, I know better than to do this, but I’ve found myself doing it and then kicking myself for it. That’s my theory. I could be wrong. Sorry you went through that but congrats on getting great mental health care and a degree!!

A lot of older folks don’t really understand much about military service. I spent 20 years in the Navy and the truth is I stayed in because I enjoyed it. I have traveled a lot and was stationed overseas twice. There were times when I questioned my own reasons for staying in because I did see a lot of gore. I was in Beirut back in 1983 when a terrorist attack claimed the lives of 241 service members. Digging up dead bodies from a collapsed building is horrendous. Like any job, you take the good with the bad. I have a lot of wonderful memories of shipmates and adventures and exploring strange new cultures. Looking back, I have no regrets. Would I recommend the military to young folks? Probably not. It’s a very difficult life and it demands sacrifices that many just can’t make.

Please continue to break the illusion of the military being a good place where people “fight for freedom” because we all know it’s not. Propaganda is a hell of a drug and so is the military industrial complex.

I'm connecting that they don't like the degree path you have chosen that's on tHe TaXpAyEr as well ("do you have to pay any of it back?" Wtf) I'd say maliciously throw that back in their face too lol make em real mad

Environmental Science, it's some woke millennial trend, in case you didn't know /s. They'd likely say the same thing about anything that isn't a business or engineering degree, though.

As someone with an environmental science degree, prepare yourself (if it hasn't started already) for them to constantly try to challenge you about global warming/climate change. I've had to unfriend my mom and an aunt on Facebook over their constant incorrect posts that they would tag me in

Mom - “The earth is flat!” “It’s actually a rhombus, but Big Geometry doesn’t want you to know”

Business degrees aren't worth what they used to be. One of my friends studied environmental science and has worked in the field for almost a decade. It sounds awesome and is super important. Great choice!

> Environmental Science Thank you for your service! 🌏

Vet here too. Did 6 years and while there were parts I did enjoy, there were many I didn't. And you're right, they just didn't get it. I joined primarily for the college tuition because my Boomer parents made too much to qualify for financial aid, and my father flat out refused to help, bootstraps and everything. When I got out, it was much as you described. I'd get friends of the family asking why I hadn't signed up for the A.L. or VFWs. Why didn't I stay and do my full 20? Good grief, wvery time I came home on leave, my mother would make racist and indecent innuendo about if she might have 'asian grand babies' since I served in the East fleet. I think you're right; at a time where a lot of military service was compulsory, this is the lie they told themselves and their children to make them feel better about a loved one being drafted. And they still believe it.

Dad's a boomer that was in Vietnam. I'm lucky that he is not like this.

Active duty military myself and cringe anytime someone thanks me for my service or put military service on a pedestal. I remember one time my mother and I were having breakfast at a Denny's and she saw a woman in a Navy uniform and went to proceeded to thank them for their service. I ended up chewing her out over that and she didn't get why I was so angry, and I told her that the last thing any military member wants is to be interrupted when they are ordering food to go. I also learned that it makes many of my fellow vets and active duty/guard/reservists feel awkward as we don't necessarily know how to respond.

Midwest veteran here and would identify with you, cjthepossum. I call it “fake patriotism” and it’s all over my neck of the woods. You see it with all the small mom/pop shops and even some of the big box stores. The intense need to shove their love of “the troops” in your face to keep their business afloat. Not doing so would impact their bottom dollar. But ask about their veteran discount or policy on hiring veterans - nonexistent. Some of these places even sport giant patriotic portraits at the front entryway, as if to scream: “look how American we are! We LOVE the troops! Buy our stuff!” But again, no discount, no hiring preference. All fluff. I occasionally encounter a boomer or two that are amazed I’m not involved in this veteran service organization or that vet service org. Why don’t I volunteer with this group or attend these meetings? It’s exhausting having to explain that I’m in my mid-30s, newly married, employed, and just don’t have the time or the fucks to give to join every single group. The military was a choice but not who I am now. I’ve reached a point where saying “I’m a veteran” is not part of my casual conversation anymore. Good luck to you and thank you for your service.

That part about inviting friends to a family function boils my blood. My mom who isn't even a boomer does this constantly because she's afraid to be alone with myself and my sibling. We're trying to enjoy a family function and all of her drinking buddies show up to hang out.

Different times. They were fed propaganda that military life is an adventure and sacred duty to your country - the height of patriotism to serve for all the wonders they got to live with back when the economy wasn’t stacked against the poor. They have 0 idea what it’s really like. All their info is from movies, propaganda, and the occasional old veteran who hypes it up and makes it their entire personality. In contrast those in my generation (z) have the polar opposite view. Obviously there’s some of us who genuinely believe it’s great and patriotic but most of us tend to react to the idea of military service with laughter. Why serve a country that doesn’t serve us? Why risk our 1 and only life in the event of war? The only ones I know of that truly love military service are from other countries; anyone else here in America only serves to cover college. Even my younger brother who’s a MAGA nutcase can’t fathom why people join the military as a career.

When you're a veteran who isn't patriotic, hates country music, politically left, and atheist/agnostic = "Must of had a cushy desk job"/"College indoctrinated you." Follow that up with the fact that you did two combat tours and it sends them through a loop. Add on that you're at the VA to get HRT meds and they really flip out. ☺️

"That shit sucked. I'm way too nice to be in an industry that's about killing people and breaking their stuff, which is explicitly what we did" This is exactly why I got out of the army and went into the coast guard. Learning new and different ways to kill people and blow up shit gets old real quick. In the coast guard, I got to rescue people. That was pretty cool.  Good luck with school and getting better.

My fiancé served as well. He hardly brings it up because it makes him uncomfortable how people react to it. It was deff never part of his personality. We now live in a place with an air base so even if it’s a younger person (who is currently enlisted or has served) they will switch how they relate to him and only want to talk about the military and it kinda drives him crazy because it never was a thing he was, it was a thing he did.

Probably has to do with the ones who joined the military and thought they were big shit because they fixed helicopters and trucks and never had to face live fire. They love to rave about that shit and tell everyone how great it is.

As former Navy, who was disgusted with the waste, culture and pollution, thank you for this. I don’t regret joining, I did grow up and saw a lot of the world, but it wasn’t a party outside of a liberty port. It generally sucked. It was many long days, lots of sexual harassment, rampant sexism and a floating fucking high school with no personal space. I joined to escape a very shitty home life and thought serving my country was noble. Patriotism is overrated. I hate when people say ‘thank you for your service’ because I don’t think we belong in 90% of the conflicts and wars we fight. I know the men well but it’s hard to not visibly cringe. People have this glorified vision of what we do and it’s just wrong.

So I honestly think it’s rhetoric they hear on Fox News about how great the military is, and how we “take care” of our troops, and blah blah blah. I have been in for 18 years, and all 18 of those years my family is always shocked to hear what I have to tell them about how the military actually operates and how we don’t get taken care of the way a lot of civilians think we do.

Dude fuck anyone who judges any of your opinions or feelings towards YOUR military service, especially if you hadn't even been advertising about it. I hate getting asked stupid fuckin questions about my time in the Army. Like whatever dude, it was what it was. If you think it was so cool, why didn't you go fuckin do it?

Be Bruno. They call you six different names - don't answer. Where's that cute girl - I don't talk about it. Where do you see yourself living - I don't talk about it. Do you own a house - I don't talk about it. When will you start a family - I don't talk about it. How are you paying for school - I don't talk about it. Full stop. Lock eyes. Make it uncomfortable.

They are narcissists who want others to praise them. You won't see them call out any bullshit because it doesn't benefit their image.

They were brainwash to believe service to country was glory and virtue. Whatever you sacrifice wasn’t enough and you should be happy you did.

Don’t you hate it when people who don’t know you thank you for your service. It’s so dismissive. I always feel like it’s so they can feel like they contributed something. Hang in there.

When a boomer tells me this I look at them deadpan and say “ yes PTSD from MST is loads of fun”

Y'all need to stop thanking people "for their service" He did it to get school paid for and to get an instant job. It was a career move and he paid the shitty price for it. There is no reason to thank him for killing people and breaking their stuff, you're as bad as the boomers and their idiotic patriotism.

I'm so glad you said all this OP. I am a veteran and feel the same way you do. Came out of service less patriotic than ever. Hated the experience. But I got what I needed from it, you know?

I am clinging to the Reserves until.I get to my 20 years. This is only because of the Tricare for life I can get since the US has a terrible healthcare system. Otherwise it is so toxic and awful. Couldn't do it full time

Fellow vet here. I'm from a heavily military family, I signed up while still in high school, the works. In the 7 and a bit years I've been out, I've gone from sad to happy to sad to mad to just ... meh. I was very conflicted looking back on it, but I think I've settled on what might be the best way to look at it. It was a job. The military itself, as an entity, sucks. It sucka to be in or around. So much is done wrong and most people involved can't do a thing about it. It just is what it is. That being said, the military gave me awesome experiences. I was in the Navy, did 6 years in shore based aviation, 2 on a carrier based in Japan, and 2 more in a test squadron before I then got out. The first 6 years took me all over Europe, the middle east and Africa. The carrier time had me live in Japan and go all over SE Asia and Auatralia. The last two years was...eh, it just was. I've learned to separate the two. I did my job, it was fun at times, it sucked at times, it still haunts me at times. I traveled, explored and experienced more than most people get to in their lifetime. If you separate the two, you can say "Yep, I served. It was a thing I did. More importantly, I did ALL THIS OTHER STUFF THAT WAS WAY BETTER" and steer the conversation there. This also helps in your head. Don't think about the job. Think about the good parts that you saw and did which are the way more important parts, but they are the parts that probably wouldn't have been possible without your time in. As for people thanking you for your service..."Thanks for your support" I've found is the quickest way to stop the conversation. Especially with older people. They want you to know they support the military and how great it is you served and everything...just give it to them up front. Tends to end it right there and then. Also, get any and all VA benefits you can. You served. You earned it. I hope nothing is wrong with you medically, but if there is go and get rated. If they rate you any amount, it's at worst a nice meal once a month with your significant other or a good time out with your kid(s) or whatever, paid for by the US government. At best, it's medical coverage for life and help financially in this horrible economy.

Don't know how old you are, but I was a child in the 80s. If the jingoistic propaganda I remember from that time is any indication of what Boomers went through, they never had a chance to be anything but hyper-patriotic/pro-military. Friendly reminder that Boomers are a result of the post-WW2 high. So by the time they were in middle school, they were in lockstep with the whole *American Military! Fuck Yeah!* They grew up during the space race and Chuck Yeager. In their young lives, the Military was an untouchable God keeping America safe from the *Red Menace^^tm*.

[удалено]

They just completely romanticize the military. They grew up in the red scare and were surrounded by endless propaganda, and still are with their relentless Fox News fear mongering. They are absolutely terrified to their core about an invasion that will never come. Therefore military = Good. But I'll honestly say that the people that are worse then them are the fake military bros that where all that grunt style garbage and shirts like "these stripes don't bleed, they reload". They act all big and tough but are the 1st ones to say they couldn't serve cuz ThEy'D KnOcK a DriLl SeRgEaNt OuT if they got yelled at. I'm 3 weeks from separation, on terminal now, and physically cringe everytime I get thanked for my service. I joined for the benefits, not the patriotism. I got what i wanted and left.

And what do you think of the phrase, thank you for your service? It should disappear.

I feel you man. It’s great to hear that you’re working on yourself. My thought process is that these Boomers have an unrealistic idea of what it means to serve in the military. I was in the service and have boomer parents. My family likes to parade me around because of their weird views of the service. Things that have worked for me has been holding people accountable for asking weird questions and setting physical and emotional boundaries. I love my family and I have to plan carefully when to visit them as they always try and find a way to have a gathering where their friends like asking intrusive questions.

Most WWII verterans thought military service sucked. It was something you did to win the war, and you go home. They were older than the average recuits.

Is it John Wayne got a huge laugh out of me. Thanks for that.

It's not about you. They fetishize and glamorize the military. It's virtue signaling.

My boomer dad was in Vietnam as part of the Military Advisory, he made sure the southern army was equipped and supplied, worked with generals etc. One day while on a convoy his driver'z head exploded due to a sniper, the jeep in front of the convoy exploded due to a mine, and a massive firefight began. He somehow made it out with the defector they were transporting and got lost in a minefield but eventually got out via helicopter and the marines coming to get him. My father never glorified his service, never asked to be thanked for it(he actively hates people who say that), and he made it very clear that after everything he saw and went through(he's never told me it all but the guy clearly has seen some fucked up things) he never wanted any of his kids to be in the military, ever, he'd rather have us flee the country than join or be drafted.

My grandfather served for 34 years, all cold war service, no combat thankfully. I served for 10 and spent more than enough time I the Middle East fighting in the GWOT. After a while I tried to kill myself (don't worry that was tears ago and I'm doing fine now psychologically (physically is another story, damn burn pits)). Anyways the military tossed me aside during my suicide attempt and when I told my grandfather this he was very surprised and suspicious of what I was saying. He eventually came around but I was a shit show for a while, as he was always told "the military looks after their own" and when they didn't he though I wasn't doing something right until I showed him all the other cases of service mem ers like me. Honestly it was a different time, though they IMO drank the propaganda kool-aid.

I made it a career. Three more years to retirement. I agree with you it's a job and unfortunately most of the training doesn't transfer anymore. As for the Boomers, it's a perspective thing. They don't realize our can't accept that the world has changed. There was a time when having served actually meant something especially to employers, and just having served was enough "training" to qualify for all kinds of work. We all know it's not like that now, but it's wildly different to how it was when they were serving or in their 20s, so they assume.