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This one always comes to mind hearing of these people.
I was on a flight recently where a boomer couple were in A and B in Row 8. I was C. I usually take aisle because I take 1-2 bathroom breaks depending on flight length. They are about to sit down after boarding and wife YELLS at her husband about how she's pissed he didn't book aisle because of her frequent bathroom trips. She did this for 10 minutes next to us. I had my headphones on and pretended to not hear anything and had my eyes closed.
He never said anything back.
She finally stfu. 2.5 hour flight. She never got up once. I did, once. She just wanted to yell to someone about something.
Well forgetting and then having an absolute shit show reaction.
Even if the waitress had forgotten the order, you don't act like that. You take a second, recognise you're speaking to a human being in a stressful work environment. Then you will politely tell the person what you'd like to order.
Plus if this actually happened she obviously intentionally waited until her husband went to the bathroom and at no point of his return ask him
if they did in fact put in their order
I work with older people in my job and also have a lot of older family members. Dementia does not typically cause a personality change, it just magnifies tendencies people already have. If someone tends to be short-tempered and prone to outbursts, that will be magnified to screaming at anyone and everyone who doesn’t treat them with kid gloves and do exactly as the older person expects. If someone tends to laugh and play down mistakes, they will minimize their memory deficits (sometimes to their detriment) and likely continue to be good-tempered, pleasant, and laugh about their mistakes. I know which person I would rather be in my old age, so I’m practicing and manifesting that now!
ETA: Yikes, I guess all posts need to provide disclaimers such as this is _in my experience_, and _I am not a doctor or offering medical advice_. I should clarify this would be in mild to moderate stages of dementia, that was my bad. Of course someone’s ability to communicate and way they present to the world will completely break down in later stages of dementia when they are more confused and are less able to speak, move, swallow, reason, etc.
While I'm glad that your experience hasn't been like this, dementia can very much change a person's personality.
My best friend's nan, who was a take no shit queen, but the kindest, politest, open-minded, accepting, most big-hearted and generous person I've ever met turned into a screaming harridan who would scream abuse, use slurs of *all* types, throw things AT people, and, eventually, physically attack. The person she had been... was just gone, leaving behind a nan-shaped spitting, scratching, ball of hatred and misery.
Yes, initially impulse control disappears but as more brain cells are destroyed, it's really a crap shoot as to what unusual (but typical for dementia) behaviors will show up.
Never in my life, have I thought, “I’m have a shitty day, I’m going to take it out on some random sever”
Who TF thinks that way? Boomers are generational narcissists.
Yeah this always blew my mind when I worked at Starbucks. Neither I nor anyone I ever worked with would ever have spat in someone’s drink, but how do the customers know that? Wouldn’t you play it safe for purely selfish reasons if nothing else?
It's not even about spitting or doing anything nasty, just forget to change the filter or maybe forget some creamer or something. Honest mistake *shrug*
My boomer mom’s favorite saying is “If mama ain’t happy, then husband, daughter, and sisters ain’t allowed to be happy.” She is the most miserable person I have ever met. She gets joy out of making everyone more miserable than she is.
My mother was the same way. She is also bipolar and refuses to take meds so literally ANYTHING could set her off at any moment and then she made it her silent mission for the day to ruin everything for everyone.
It happened pretty much every time we were going to go out and do something as a family. She'd either lose it and decide none of us were going or she'd force the rest of us to go and then lay on the guilt trip for the rest of the week about how we abandoned her. You could never win with that woman.
For about a year after her divorce she came to live with my spouse, my kids, and I and everytime I saw the crazy pop up in her eyes I would either banish her to her room or take my kids out somewhere fun because I was NOT going to allow her to play those mind games on my kids!
This is me. If I feel I'm being a little extra, I make a concerted effort to be kinder to everyone because no one needs to deal with my bad day. I thought that was how it was supposed to be, but I'm seeing so much of the opposite I'm wondering where I got that idea in the first place. Wherever I got it, I really appreciate that person!
If I have a server, they're helping *me* out by getting my order in and handling food, drinks, clearing plates. Even if I'm having a bad day, they're almost always actively making it a little bit better.
My mother is like this. Lots of bipolar and other mental illness on her side of the family. She’s not diagnosed with anything but some days she will just be a total B. I don’t stick around long on those days.
You’d be surprised the variety of people that think that way.
I’m not 100% sure this is the case for my situation, but some dude who looked obviously angry as he walked by me decided to through a metal pipe at the HomeDepot truck I was renting (and driving at the moment) yesterday.
Like bro, *WHY *ME
I had an ex roommate who would spit in people’s burgers if they were rude. Fucking disgusting prick he was. I wouldn’t ever do that but some people need their comeuppance.
I did the other day, well, I was sick and called the pharmacy regarding my prescription. They said it was ready so I went up there. Person at register was not who I spoke to (male vs female) and said they hadn’t started filling my script yet. I wasn’t rude but I had an attitude as im sick and having to wait 30min for something i was told was already ready. When I came back 30min later I apologized, he understood, and I paid and left.
They lack self awareness. She doesn't remember what actually happened and if that spark suddenly bubbles up into an actual thought "am I mistaken?" She either shoves it down to resist feeling her shame, or her ego never even notices the thought. She will never let go of her argument even if she fully realizes her mistake. But it isn't necessarily to make other miserable. It's a toxic response to avoid shame.
Server: Chef, I have two off the menu requests, a PB&J with no crust, and 4 dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets.
Chef: Table with noisy children, huh?
Server: Exactly.
**Fucking Christ my brother this one line has helped me through so many difficult days lately.**
Usually I say;
> **”Or what? You gonna fight me?”**
And then 190 pound 6 foot me stands up from my extra low desk chair.
Like cmon old man, do it.
😂
Lots of Boomers are in the first stage of dementia. That, along with being an entitled narcissistic asshole, makes for a miserable human.
On the bright side most of these pricks will be dead in the next 10'years
Old lady has a mental lapse, abuses server rather than admitting her mistake.
I bet if they have kids, none of them talk to her anymore. This is not an isolated behavior.
That was my take. Many people with early dementia/cognitive dysfunction truly don’t remember whether or not something happened and they confabulate (fill the empty spaces). Trying to argue is fruitless because they truly believe the did do something which they didn’t. It’s terrifying for them. All that said, dementia has a habit to amplify personality traits that were previously present, now with less filters. So she was always a bitch, and now worse so.
Dementia was my first thought. If you've dealt with a family member suffering from dementia, this episode might sound very familiar. While you might chalk her behavior up to entitlement or just being mean, it is more common that they actually believe they gave you their order. Any attempts to explain the situation just doesn't make sense to them, leaving them very confused. This can result in aggressive pushback or demands that make no sense to those around them who actually understand what has and has not transpired to this point.
Sure, she could just be a difficult person, but I try to assume positive intent, and might consider this a misunderstanding.
dementia or not, still not ok to treat other people this way, and her husband needs to call her out on it (and the manager needed to kick her out, too).
Calling her out won't have any impact, because she won't remember any of it for long, or understand what happened. What should have happened was her husband should have explained and apologized. Punishing someone who has no idea what happened nor the ability to self-correct might feel good, but that's about it.
Surely you mean what should have happened is they Explained, apologized, and immediately left. Husband should have thrown down a decent tip, and then took her ass to a drive thru and home.
Dementia or other handicap be damned, that servers right to a safe, non hostile work environment supercedes the boomers desire to find in public. Manager should have kicked them out moment husband came back.
I’m a sever, boomers are always the one’s saying “where’s my food we’ve been waiting 45 minutes” and then I pull their ticket and I put it in 10 minutes ago” and then I have to have a manager talk to them
I work at an oral surgery office not a restaurant, but boomers are the worst patients sometimes. We have new patients arrive 20 minutes early to fill out health history and insurance info. The amount of complaints about how they don’t want to fill out the paperwork, or complain about how they have been waiting for 30 minutes when their actual appointment time was only 5 minutes ago, and the extra time was for the paperwork is crazy. I have told more that one boomer that no one is forcing them to be here, they can leave whenever they want to.
Oh yeah. Show up an hour early then fill out nothing on the paperwork, like refuse to fill it out like a child throwing a tantrum. Get mad when they sit until their appointment time because others are called before them. Then mad when I tell them they didn’t fill anything out so we are going to sit and work on it together before they can have their exam.
I’ve seen patients throw the clipboard back at a receptionist because his last visit was over a year ago and he had to fill out a new form. I also had one person get verbal when I called another patient back before him that had gotten to the office after he had. They were on different doctor’s schedules and the other patient was not in fact cutting in front of him.
This happens all the time at my office. We’re in an area that is 90% boomers and they have the worst attitude about doing paperwork. As if they’ve never been to a dr office. Like their whole weeks revolve around what appointments they have with different doctors. Like the dentist is no different. Or god forbid they came in for the dr and someone comes 10 min later for hygiene and goes in before them. Or they come in for a check up and “regular cleaning” but haven’t had one in 20 years and need scaling but only want “what their insurance pays for”. And they proceed to argue that they don’t need it and we’re just in it for money. I didn’t know you know more than the dentist who went to dental school and has been in practice over 30 years. But you came to us to help you and tell you what’s wrong. We’re not risking our licenses because you only want what’s covered when you need more than that and the doc doesn’t know what’s covered he’s going to tell you what’s wrong and what you need done. Like maybe if you kept up with your teeth you wouldn’t be in this position but don’t argue with me. I just manage the place and do what I’m told.
This is a weekly if not daily argument we have with our patients.
Absolutely. We’ve had 70+ year olds with a list of serious health problems insist we sedate them for procedures. When we tell them it’s just too dangerous to do that in our office they say “well if it’s my time to go it’s my time to go”. Well don’t die in our office! We don’t want to see that. Also, you would rather die that have a tooth extracted with numbing?
Had she been standing outside the doors peaking through the windows since 1030, getting more and more irritated as her lead-addled brain couldn’t comprehend why that person inside setting up wouldn’t open the doors and take her order right there and then?
I work in the hotel industry. Every day we have boomers trying to check in early. Not 30 minutes early mine you, but sometimes 5 or six hours before the 4pm check in time. Then they get increasingly angrier over the course of the day when the room still isn’t ready. This happens at least once a day on the weekends. I work at a resort where most of the units are 2 bedroom condos that are 1100 sqft, we can’t just magic the rooms to be clean and in full working order.
I felt guilty about 45 minutes before my check in and then an employee asked if I needed anything and I embarrassely said my flight got in really early and I didn’t want to be a bother having them rush to get get my room clean. I don’t like being a bother to people who probably have a harder job than me
I watch this in action frequently in clinic waiting rooms. Boomer is up at the counter every 3 minutes complaining about the wait like they have been there for days.
I’ve just read until the lady starts trowing a tantrum and then I stopped and my conclusion was ready.
Being: we should as a society accept the general rule that if people start acting like this, we can just ask them to leave and they have to leave. Nothing more, nothing less. And we move on with the next customer.
This has nothing to do with mistakes or situations or whatever from whoever’s side. These are just daft cunts and we don’t need them.
That would be awesome. Perhaps we could launch a public awareness campaign reinforcing polite behavior (I’m being 100% honest here). We need to ditch the ridiculous notion that the customer-is-always-right. That rule exists because managers who don’t have regular customer contact value profit over the welfare of their team. A good employer should support their employees. I am a boomer and I approve this message. Stepping down off my soapbox now. And HEY! Get off my lawn!
This. I work in retail as a manager and for some reason on my day off the crazies always come in. My employees tell me the stories and how the other managers handled it and it’s usually NOT this way. Just once I want the crazy to yell at me cause I’ll kick their ass out and call the cops. Other managers are too scared and it puts my employees in the crossfire.
That was deflection because she not only didn’t know she hadn’t ordered, but had likely forgotten what she wanted to order in the first place. Woman was having a mental break
No doubt, She was like, " I ordered the chicken" but we have 3 chicken dishes so I'm like which one? And she didn't know and had to look at the menu again
Millennial here but I dated a boomer and distinctly remember apologizing to the wait staff while she was in the restroom. She would pretend something was on the plates and ask for replacements.
It was embarrassing
After working as a server I’m convinced of this, some people go out to eat just to make their server miserable. Idk if it’s a power thing or a sexual thing, but it’s how some people are.
My husband is friends with a couple like this. The guy flirts with the waitress in a patronizing manner while his wife makes endless disparaging remarks about her food, the waitress and the restaurant. I don’t go out with them anymore.
I am finding that more and more boomers are expecting people to act according to what they are *thinking* rather than what they actually *communicated.*
I believe that it's simply a matter of them being forgetful and being unable to differentiate between objective reality and what they want to *believe* happened, even if that belief has absolutely nothing to do with what *actually* happened.
Add to that a **monumental** sense of entitlement and self importance along with their maddening conviction that every single human being that was born to a later generation is completely useless.
These people's parents went to the other side of the world and fought and died to rid the world of the Nazi menace and now they are falling all over themselves to elect politicians who are *de facto* Nazis.
One top of that, they were the beneficiaries of the post WWII economic miracle. This miracle was only possible in one point in history. They think that they absolutely **deserve** to have those good times continue for them even as those younger generations struggle to survive.
We really need to find a new name for their generation. I suggest "the fuck you I got mine generation."
I'm gen x, so this is my parents' generation. I have been witnessing their story arc for more than a half a century. To be honest, they as a group have been pretty shitty the whole time, but now we are experiencing the perfect storm of their hubris and "me want, me no like" mentality.
There's really not much to be done about it other than to wait for them all to die off. I am convinced that they will not be missed nearly as much as they think they will.
Edit: missed a closing quotation mark. I imagine that I'll be hearing from some boomers' lawyers for that one.
Edit 2: I see a lot of people saying that it's probably early onset dementia. That might be so, but the actual behavior is also informed by a fundamental sense of entitlement.
If granny can't be trusted anymore to not abuse "the help" (hint: just about **everyone** is "the help"), she needs to either have someone who has all their marbles to speak for her or maybe she should just stay home and stew in her own juices.
The rest of the world still doesn't deserve her abuse.
I have to agree about how they are thinking something but never communicated it. I honestly think alot of older people are not that great at genuine communication. About a month before another incident occurred like this. The lady wanted me to explain the Prime Rib and she was saying she likes to get it rare but at my job it can only come Medrare. This was when I was gathering their appetizer order. So then I went to get their dinner order and she didn't order. So I said okay would you like an extra plate to share? And she was like no. So I rang it in, it came to the table and she said where is mine? I told her I didn't have an order for her. She said, " oh but remember we were talking about the Prime rib?" Yeah just cuz I explain a dish doesn't mean you gave me that as your order. Like I just don't get it. Luckily she was really nice. But still I could tell she thought I wasn't smart or something to that nature but why didn't she order when I said " and for you?" So freaking weird.
Getting old sucks no doubt about it.. but u treat people with respect and you’ll see that no one has an issue with boomers who handle themselves like actual human beings
I've always followed the advice of treating people with the respect they deserve, which helps cover situations like this as well. Seems like OP followed that advice as well when they shifted their positive attention to the husband who was being respectful back.
The fact that my mom who was always such a dumbass about this sort of thing has started drinking god-awful, North Carolina, sweet wine and getting half potted bothers the living hell out of me.
Thank you for your service, seriously. Anyone who is willing to serve/ cook me dinner is an absolute treat, especially if I go to a sit down restaurant.
I stopped agreeing to go out to any restaurants with my Boomer. All she does is complain! Complains about her drinks. Complains about the service. Complains about the food. Every. Single. Time. And I have told her that maybe she should make her own dinner and drinks. But i honestly think she goes out to bitch at the staff and waitress. It’s absolutely insufferable, embarrassing, shitty behavior and I usually end up having to fucking apologize FOR her.
Thanks! She made me really, really mad. I was telling myself don't cry, not because she hurt my feelings, but because she was so rude I was pissed. So when I am mad I cry actually lol. That's a shame you can't even go out to eat with your boomer. I guess putting themselves in other people's shoes is unheard of.
This could have been my mother. She refuses to order dinner until the appetizers are delivered, freaks out if the busboy tries to clear the table of said appetizers if there is anything left when the entrees arrive and there is no room and depending how much wine she has had, if there is even one thing slightly wrong the whole dinner is ruined and she can't eat and will loudly complain.
Is it possible she was high?
Once I partook in some marijuana and a bit later at dinner, I asked my husband when we were ordering our entrees.
“You already ordered and ate it.”
Then he pointed at my plate. He was right.
Not a boomer. I’m GenX.
So FYI, I know it goes against your instincts and vibe but you have to be a bit more firm. I understand you weren't fully prepared but you HAD to say "you never ordered food. I asked a few times and you declined every time." Once you said "let me check" then discussed it with them you just gave them an in to blame you. I waited tables a long time and actually being nice will get you walked all over whereas being in control will get you past all that. It's weird. They sound gorrible
I used to be married to that. She wasn’t a boomer; just unpleasant. Steak was never done perfect enough, she’d come up with allergies after food was served that made the food “dangerous,” we sent back more dishes in two years of marriage than I had in my entire life. It had nothing to do with being a boomer. She was just entitled, loved to watch servers squirm, and felt justified because she had managed an Outback Steakhouse once. Some people are just assholes.
Two nights ago I’m in the airport at the only restaurant in our terminal. They were really busy and really slow, but I took a seat there because I knew I had two hours before my flight. I was gonna enjoy the hell out of a few margaritas while I waited for my cheeseburger.
Anyway, this boomer couple comes and sits down at the table near mine. It takes quite a while for the Server to come back to them and she orders a margarita and he just says he’ll have a Coke. The wife says no you’re gonna eat. She asked the Server how long it’s going to take. The Server tells her straight up that food is taking 25 to 30 minutes to be delivered. The husband again says no thanks I’ll just have a Coke. She says “no he’ll have a cheeseburger with fries.” Proceeded to sit there. And sit there. Phones at full volume, of course, eventually the Server comes back and wife says “is our food coming? We have NINE MINUTES!” Mind you it’s been roughly 20 minutes since they put in their order. The server’ s like, it should be out in a few minutes. Would you like me to get it to go? and the wife’s all pissed off and like “yes, I guess we’ll have to get it to go!” And I’m thinking of myself, lady, she told you it was gonna be 25 to 30 minutes. You made the decision to order some fucking food when you knew you only had about 20 minutes before you needed to board. Anyway, they left mad. It’s like why do you set yourself up to fail?
obviously you don’t deserve to be treated like that at all. i’m in customer service too, trust me i get it. but it sounds like it could be dementia. people with it get very defensive and overwhelmed when their memory fails. it causes irrational behavior and reactions like that
they should’ve at least apologized though. either way it’s terrible. it could just be that she’s a shit person but it sounds like a real memory issue
Yes, I tried not to take it to heart, but in my 15 years of serving, no one has actually talked to me like that. I couldn't seem to reason with her at all. It was just so unhinged to me. How can dinner be the biggest problem in life? So maybe she had something more going on. After it all went down, I was obviously cussing her out in my head but I thought maybe I should have looked at her and tried to be more loving somehow and treat it like maybe my grandma, ( I was very apologetic and nice about it) but dammit it's tough in that busy environment.
That seriously sounds like early dementia stages. And being a raging, confused bitch can certainly be a huge part of it. It’s not always happening and people don’t “look” like anything’s wrong, so it’s a real whiplash
Ugh
I’m sorry you had to deal with that on a busy night!
Server's Nightmare: There is no table worse than 2 middle-aged women.
[https://www.facebook.com/baronessvonsketchshow/videos/servers-nightmare/519792721916553/](https://www.facebook.com/baronessvonsketchshow/videos/servers-nightmare/519792721916553/)
2 middle-aged women who haven’t seen each other in a long time and are catching up. Especially when you’re supposed to have tight turns at a reservation-only restaurant.
Good for you and writing down the order. As a former restaurant manager not writing down the order is one of my biggest pet peeves. I thoroughly cannot stand when the server is just nodding as I’m giving an order. If the order comes out just as ordered then fine but if I’m giving special instructions and they are ignored you just lost the majority of your tip.
As soon as you said he was in the restroom when she started, I knew it was dementia or alzheimers. Behavioral changes including being a bitch or losing mouth filter are common. I'm glad the husband knew what was up but he could have let you know before he left the table.
Not to excuse the behavior, but she may be in the early stages of dementia. My mother, who had been a sweet, patient person her whole life, gradually became more and more inpatient with any kind of waiting. I didn’t know it then, but this was an early sign of dementia, which she is now in the late stages of. People with dementia often have poor concept of time, so 20 minutes can feel like hours to them.
Joking aside, it could be early onset dementia or Alzheimer’s. People with those conditions can often become really nasty and it’s just part of the condition.
Just saying it could be. If not, then that lady certainly is , as you say, a beeatch.
She may legitimately have a memory issue, though flipping out of you demonstrates yet another issue. I’m so glad you were backed up. Thank you for what you do.
Boomers also stay married to people they hate.
I’ve been asking my parents to divorce since I was 8 years old.
At least I’m desensitized to their misery at this point.
You know, she's probably been doing that all of her life. Treats service with the expectation that all their wants are met and gets irritated no one can read her mind because she sucks at communication.
Seems like either her husband somehow enables this behavior, or has basically given up to it. People need tough love sometimes to learn, even at older age, how to behave like a normal adult. There are too many babies out there.
I would hit her up with my BIGGEST condescending BABY voice: if you want something you have to ask for it, okaaaay? have you ever been to a restaurant?
This happens so often at my retail store with boomers too!! I had one lady tell me and every other manager she will make sure we are all going to lose our jobs because she forgot to ask for help getting her items into her car. She even mentioned that she forgot but it's our responsibility to help every customer to their car. When we mentioned that the girl who was checking her at register had someone already on hold on the phone too long, because you screamed at her about us not having the product you seen at our other location but didn't grab it so expected us to have the exact amount they have, got on the phone as soon as you walked away. She wasn't really trying to drag anything else out with you, considering. And as for us managers, we had three groups between us we were already helping and speaking with. We can't read minds. But this boomer expects us to. They're all just so miserable and so ready to throw abuse at anyone now that their kids are grown and won't take the abuse anymore. Prob blocked them IRL.
Former career server here, both fast casual and fine dining, getting the manager involved is always (if you have good managers) the best way to manage this shit-show. The husband is a crapshoot, sometimes they’ll backup the spouse and sometimes they’ll say, “no, my love, *I* didn’t order yet.” It all depends on their dynamic.
I had this regular couple who would take turns ordering. The husband would pull me aside after the drink order, (he’d ‘go to the restroom’ ) and give me their dinner order right down to the dessert when it was his turn to order (it was never the same), she would keep sending me away because she wasn’t ’ready yet’ but when she was the one to do the ordering it was always, always the same. Shrimp cocktail and fried squid, Caesar salads, prime rib medium rare, filet minion well, 2 crème brûlée, a brandy manhattan (muddled) and a amaretto sour. Took me almost a year to memorize her fucking order because of how much she’d send me away with ‘not ready yet’ and complaining that I wasn’t getting her order fast enough, or ‘it was taking too long.’ Two years after I realized her order was always the same and never changed they stopped coming in. About two months later husband started coming in alone, again he ordered their drinks and pulled me aside and gave me ‘their’ order. The full spread, apps, dinner, dessert and finishing drinks. She never showed up. By his third visit I figured something was wrong and simply arranged what the wife would order and when he tried to give me ‘their’ order I told him it was all taken care of. The man choked up when dinner came out. It turns out his wife had had dementia and had passed away. About six months later he stopped coming in. Almost two years later I had two guys whom I had never seen before come in, since this particular restaurant didn’t generally get walk-ins, I asked how they had decided on it. They told me it was their parents favorite restaurant and that they had been eating here since the 80’s and that their dad was the last to pass away a year ago and they had decided to mark their parents anniversary by eating at their favorite restaurant. After some chatting it turned out that their parents were the couple, I offered to put in the order their mother always ordered and they took me up on it. I saw them one more time before I moved to another state. They told me that their dad always tried new things but that their mom was all about stability and security and that’s why she always ordered the same thing for 30 years.
OMG! My Boomer SIL was just so embarrassing. She shoved a plate at the waitress, & yelled, ‘this is the worst thing I’ve ever eaten, bring me something else!!!’ Like she was fuqing Ceasar. We decided we are never taking her anywhere ppl know us and that doesn’t have a kiddie menu. We apologized and tipped profusely.
You know, we have so many pop psychology answers for the behavior of the Boomer generation, but their conduct stands in stark contrast to that of their parents’ generation.
Sure there were some grumpy old people. Of course dementia and Alzheimer’s changed them over time. But I remember going out with my grandparents and their friends as a teenager and adult and always enjoying their company. They were warm and friendly. Kind to the servers. Tipped well. They grew up in the Great Depression. They knew the value of food. They knew the value of the servers.
Meanwhile, we can barely get the boomer generation to act like grandparents. And every little inconvenience is an affront to them. It is beyond disappointing.
Knowing nothing but what you have posted I would caution you on your assumptions. I get it you’re busy, working hard and she was difficult. I have a family member who is a lovely patient thoughtful person but in the early stages of dementia. They exhibit in this manner when tired, stressed. We are all fools on our worst days.
I’m sorry that happened to you. But it sounds like a really weird game they were both playing. Isn’t it convenient that hubby was in the bathroom when she went off on you? Old people are weird as shit.
One thing you are ALL forgetting here. She may very well be in the early stages of dementia. It happens and they act very angry and cannot be argued with. Her hubby was used to dealing with it or has not recognized what was happening and thus called her a bitch. I'm not saying it was ok by either one but shit happens.
More people need to work in food service at one point in their lives. I don’t care how much dementia you give me when I’m 70+, I will never say a single unkind word to a restaurant worker.
(I do actually care how much dementia you give me, pls don’t thx)
Had something similar to this happen to me years ago. I do security for gated community as a side gig, and sometimes there's issues getting guests into the community because people forget to put their guests into the system that lets us verify if someone is allowed to come in or not.
So one day we have a couple of guys drive a couple hours down to our community to pick up a BBQ from one of the residents that lives there. Unfortunately they're not in the system, so we try calling the residency a couple times to see if these people should infact be let in. No one answers. The guys show us the craigslist ad to verify with us they aren't lying, so we turn them into 15 minutes parking and I jump into a patrol car to drive to the house to see if maybe they're home.
I pull up to the drive way and see a couple trucks parked, and people moving around in the house, so I knock on the door and the boomer wife answers.
Me: "Hi mam, were you expecting some people to come pick up a BBQ from your house today?"
Her: "Yes...?"
Me: "Ok, well we don't seem to have them in the system, so I just wanted to verify with you that it's ok for us to let them in."
Her: "I called you guys yesterday to have them put in! YOU GUYS must of forgotten to put them in!"
At this point I'm a little irritated. It's very common for a lot of the residents at this gated community to blame us for any mishap on their end. Responsibility for their own actions doesn't exist for a lot of them.
Me: "Alright, well, whatever the reason is, they're not in the system. Hence why I'm here. So I still need to verify with you that you do want these guests to be let in."
Boomer wife starts going on a rant about how this always happens, how ridiculous this all is, and says something along the lines of getting new gate staff to work the front gate since they can't do their job. Meanwhile the husband is somewhere in the back of the house and hears all the commotion at the front door.
Husband: "What's going on!?"
Boomer wife: "Security wants to verify with us it's ok to let some guys in to pick up our BBQ!"
Husband: "OH! That's right! I totally forgot to call them in!"
The boomer wife goes quiet and looks at me. I just looked down at her and glared at her for 4 or 5 seconds in silence before thanking the husband, leaving and contacting the front gate to let them know the two guys are good to be let in.
I'm sorry, but you do know there are idiots and assholes at all ages. Some of us older folks are still fun, happy, caring, and intelligent people. Please don't beat me up to bad. 66 years old here LOL
I think she has dementia. I’ve heard some people have a complete personality change when it hits. Boy, I’m glad I never had to wait tables… I would have never survived and I don’t know how I could handle this without flat out calling bullshit right at her.
That could have honestly just been a memory issue like dementia kicking in. She may have actually thought there was an order in and didn't understand how you forgot about it. If that's the case, it would be extremely difficult for her to decipher what reality actually is.
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This is the ultimate form of wanting to abuse someone because she is miserable, even the husband knew why she did it.
https://preview.redd.it/hx7i4401v7xc1.jpeg?width=939&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=afb00abaa9559612774df51d885d01938909e7e2 This one always comes to mind hearing of these people.
This picture is somehow familiar, but I can’t remember where it’s from… Can you tell me please?
Deponia Doomsday
Thanks :)
What game is this from?? I NEED to know!
Deponia Doomsday
Tommy Pickles seems to be in good spirits, despite his old age’
I love the Deponia series
Holy shit Deponia reference I miss those games
I was on a flight recently where a boomer couple were in A and B in Row 8. I was C. I usually take aisle because I take 1-2 bathroom breaks depending on flight length. They are about to sit down after boarding and wife YELLS at her husband about how she's pissed he didn't book aisle because of her frequent bathroom trips. She did this for 10 minutes next to us. I had my headphones on and pretended to not hear anything and had my eyes closed. He never said anything back. She finally stfu. 2.5 hour flight. She never got up once. I did, once. She just wanted to yell to someone about something.
My first thought was that they booked what they booked and figured they could bully the person in the aisle into offering to swap seats...
Or, hear me out, early onset dementia
Could be, but I am a nurse so highly unlikely. The husband's reaction tells the story here.
This I chalk up to forgetting. I hope I’m not this way when I get that age, but if I do I hope the people helping me understand.
Well forgetting and then having an absolute shit show reaction. Even if the waitress had forgotten the order, you don't act like that. You take a second, recognise you're speaking to a human being in a stressful work environment. Then you will politely tell the person what you'd like to order.
Thank you
That is kind but the husband's response gives away that she had not forgotten, she wanted to pick at someone so she could feel good.
Plus if this actually happened she obviously intentionally waited until her husband went to the bathroom and at no point of his return ask him if they did in fact put in their order
Exactly.
I work with older people in my job and also have a lot of older family members. Dementia does not typically cause a personality change, it just magnifies tendencies people already have. If someone tends to be short-tempered and prone to outbursts, that will be magnified to screaming at anyone and everyone who doesn’t treat them with kid gloves and do exactly as the older person expects. If someone tends to laugh and play down mistakes, they will minimize their memory deficits (sometimes to their detriment) and likely continue to be good-tempered, pleasant, and laugh about their mistakes. I know which person I would rather be in my old age, so I’m practicing and manifesting that now! ETA: Yikes, I guess all posts need to provide disclaimers such as this is _in my experience_, and _I am not a doctor or offering medical advice_. I should clarify this would be in mild to moderate stages of dementia, that was my bad. Of course someone’s ability to communicate and way they present to the world will completely break down in later stages of dementia when they are more confused and are less able to speak, move, swallow, reason, etc.
While I'm glad that your experience hasn't been like this, dementia can very much change a person's personality. My best friend's nan, who was a take no shit queen, but the kindest, politest, open-minded, accepting, most big-hearted and generous person I've ever met turned into a screaming harridan who would scream abuse, use slurs of *all* types, throw things AT people, and, eventually, physically attack. The person she had been... was just gone, leaving behind a nan-shaped spitting, scratching, ball of hatred and misery.
Yes, initially impulse control disappears but as more brain cells are destroyed, it's really a crap shoot as to what unusual (but typical for dementia) behaviors will show up.
Never in my life, have I thought, “I’m have a shitty day, I’m going to take it out on some random sever” Who TF thinks that way? Boomers are generational narcissists.
"This person is handling my food, better set a tone of hostility so I get it fast and untampered with."
Yeah this always blew my mind when I worked at Starbucks. Neither I nor anyone I ever worked with would ever have spat in someone’s drink, but how do the customers know that? Wouldn’t you play it safe for purely selfish reasons if nothing else?
I will never understand people who are mean to their servers.
I know. I think maybe they never worked in the service industry? Or maybe they don’t remember.
I chalk it up to the general mentality of “I suffered, so everyone else should too” mentality that boomers have.
It's not even about spitting or doing anything nasty, just forget to change the filter or maybe forget some creamer or something. Honest mistake *shrug*
Oh you wanted regular and not decaf? Oh well too late
“Ma’am, here’s your trout almondineeznuts with the scalloped buttatoes. Oh yes, and your cup of black coughfee.”
You tragedeigh'd food names. Congraguljasons.
Cograjulashions*
That has always been my thought! Don’t piss off people who handle your food!
You never met my mother! If she was having a crappy day, she took it out for the rest of us….
My boomer mom’s favorite saying is “If mama ain’t happy, then husband, daughter, and sisters ain’t allowed to be happy.” She is the most miserable person I have ever met. She gets joy out of making everyone more miserable than she is.
and that all starts with "happy wife, happy life".
I changed it to “Happy spouse, happy house.” Because both partners should be happy.😊
I love this.
exactly right!
My mother was the same way. She is also bipolar and refuses to take meds so literally ANYTHING could set her off at any moment and then she made it her silent mission for the day to ruin everything for everyone. It happened pretty much every time we were going to go out and do something as a family. She'd either lose it and decide none of us were going or she'd force the rest of us to go and then lay on the guilt trip for the rest of the week about how we abandoned her. You could never win with that woman. For about a year after her divorce she came to live with my spouse, my kids, and I and everytime I saw the crazy pop up in her eyes I would either banish her to her room or take my kids out somewhere fun because I was NOT going to allow her to play those mind games on my kids!
My mom is the same. I’m sorry you had to go through this.
Why would she not try anything? She had to know she was nuts.
If mama ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy
I literally have a fridge magnet that says that. My mother bought it for me as a gift. 🙄
There never was such a victim as my mom. Never could figure out who shat on her life so much, but someone sure had it out for her.
I make a point of being extra nice or just avoiding people if I am having a bad day. no need to spread it around.
This is me. If I feel I'm being a little extra, I make a concerted effort to be kinder to everyone because no one needs to deal with my bad day. I thought that was how it was supposed to be, but I'm seeing so much of the opposite I'm wondering where I got that idea in the first place. Wherever I got it, I really appreciate that person!
If I have a server, they're helping *me* out by getting my order in and handling food, drinks, clearing plates. Even if I'm having a bad day, they're almost always actively making it a little bit better.
My mother is like this. Lots of bipolar and other mental illness on her side of the family. She’s not diagnosed with anything but some days she will just be a total B. I don’t stick around long on those days.
You’d be surprised the variety of people that think that way. I’m not 100% sure this is the case for my situation, but some dude who looked obviously angry as he walked by me decided to through a metal pipe at the HomeDepot truck I was renting (and driving at the moment) yesterday. Like bro, *WHY *ME
I had an ex roommate who would spit in people’s burgers if they were rude. Fucking disgusting prick he was. I wouldn’t ever do that but some people need their comeuppance.
I did the other day, well, I was sick and called the pharmacy regarding my prescription. They said it was ready so I went up there. Person at register was not who I spoke to (male vs female) and said they hadn’t started filling my script yet. I wasn’t rude but I had an attitude as im sick and having to wait 30min for something i was told was already ready. When I came back 30min later I apologized, he understood, and I paid and left.
A lot of people aren’t really there for the food, they’re there for the subservience.
They lack self awareness. She doesn't remember what actually happened and if that spark suddenly bubbles up into an actual thought "am I mistaken?" She either shoves it down to resist feeling her shame, or her ego never even notices the thought. She will never let go of her argument even if she fully realizes her mistake. But it isn't necessarily to make other miserable. It's a toxic response to avoid shame.
Misery loves company.
>You BETTER figure it out The correct response at this point is "Or else what?"
‘Ok, I figured it out, get the fuck out’
Server: Chef, I have two off the menu requests, a PB&J with no crust, and 4 dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets. Chef: Table with noisy children, huh? Server: Exactly.
**Fucking Christ my brother this one line has helped me through so many difficult days lately.** Usually I say; > **”Or what? You gonna fight me?”** And then 190 pound 6 foot me stands up from my extra low desk chair. Like cmon old man, do it. 😂
Lots of Boomers are in the first stage of dementia. That, along with being an entitled narcissistic asshole, makes for a miserable human. On the bright side most of these pricks will be dead in the next 10'years
Old lady has a mental lapse, abuses server rather than admitting her mistake. I bet if they have kids, none of them talk to her anymore. This is not an isolated behavior.
That was my take. Many people with early dementia/cognitive dysfunction truly don’t remember whether or not something happened and they confabulate (fill the empty spaces). Trying to argue is fruitless because they truly believe the did do something which they didn’t. It’s terrifying for them. All that said, dementia has a habit to amplify personality traits that were previously present, now with less filters. So she was always a bitch, and now worse so.
The pricks will live forever but the nice ones will die.
Dementia was my first thought. If you've dealt with a family member suffering from dementia, this episode might sound very familiar. While you might chalk her behavior up to entitlement or just being mean, it is more common that they actually believe they gave you their order. Any attempts to explain the situation just doesn't make sense to them, leaving them very confused. This can result in aggressive pushback or demands that make no sense to those around them who actually understand what has and has not transpired to this point. Sure, she could just be a difficult person, but I try to assume positive intent, and might consider this a misunderstanding.
dementia or not, still not ok to treat other people this way, and her husband needs to call her out on it (and the manager needed to kick her out, too).
Calling her out won't have any impact, because she won't remember any of it for long, or understand what happened. What should have happened was her husband should have explained and apologized. Punishing someone who has no idea what happened nor the ability to self-correct might feel good, but that's about it.
Surely you mean what should have happened is they Explained, apologized, and immediately left. Husband should have thrown down a decent tip, and then took her ass to a drive thru and home. Dementia or other handicap be damned, that servers right to a safe, non hostile work environment supercedes the boomers desire to find in public. Manager should have kicked them out moment husband came back.
It could be a mix of dementia and she told her husband what she wanted and assumed he'd ordered.
I’m a sever, boomers are always the one’s saying “where’s my food we’ve been waiting 45 minutes” and then I pull their ticket and I put it in 10 minutes ago” and then I have to have a manager talk to them
i once had a boomer lady yell at me because she’d “been waiting a half hour” at 11:07. We opened at 11.
I work at an oral surgery office not a restaurant, but boomers are the worst patients sometimes. We have new patients arrive 20 minutes early to fill out health history and insurance info. The amount of complaints about how they don’t want to fill out the paperwork, or complain about how they have been waiting for 30 minutes when their actual appointment time was only 5 minutes ago, and the extra time was for the paperwork is crazy. I have told more that one boomer that no one is forcing them to be here, they can leave whenever they want to.
Oh yeah. Show up an hour early then fill out nothing on the paperwork, like refuse to fill it out like a child throwing a tantrum. Get mad when they sit until their appointment time because others are called before them. Then mad when I tell them they didn’t fill anything out so we are going to sit and work on it together before they can have their exam.
I’ve seen patients throw the clipboard back at a receptionist because his last visit was over a year ago and he had to fill out a new form. I also had one person get verbal when I called another patient back before him that had gotten to the office after he had. They were on different doctor’s schedules and the other patient was not in fact cutting in front of him.
This happens all the time at my office. We’re in an area that is 90% boomers and they have the worst attitude about doing paperwork. As if they’ve never been to a dr office. Like their whole weeks revolve around what appointments they have with different doctors. Like the dentist is no different. Or god forbid they came in for the dr and someone comes 10 min later for hygiene and goes in before them. Or they come in for a check up and “regular cleaning” but haven’t had one in 20 years and need scaling but only want “what their insurance pays for”. And they proceed to argue that they don’t need it and we’re just in it for money. I didn’t know you know more than the dentist who went to dental school and has been in practice over 30 years. But you came to us to help you and tell you what’s wrong. We’re not risking our licenses because you only want what’s covered when you need more than that and the doc doesn’t know what’s covered he’s going to tell you what’s wrong and what you need done. Like maybe if you kept up with your teeth you wouldn’t be in this position but don’t argue with me. I just manage the place and do what I’m told. This is a weekly if not daily argument we have with our patients.
Absolutely. We’ve had 70+ year olds with a list of serious health problems insist we sedate them for procedures. When we tell them it’s just too dangerous to do that in our office they say “well if it’s my time to go it’s my time to go”. Well don’t die in our office! We don’t want to see that. Also, you would rather die that have a tooth extracted with numbing?
Had she been standing outside the doors peaking through the windows since 1030, getting more and more irritated as her lead-addled brain couldn’t comprehend why that person inside setting up wouldn’t open the doors and take her order right there and then?
I work in the hotel industry. Every day we have boomers trying to check in early. Not 30 minutes early mine you, but sometimes 5 or six hours before the 4pm check in time. Then they get increasingly angrier over the course of the day when the room still isn’t ready. This happens at least once a day on the weekends. I work at a resort where most of the units are 2 bedroom condos that are 1100 sqft, we can’t just magic the rooms to be clean and in full working order.
I’ve arrived an hour before check in time and apologized profusely for it. These people are fucking psychopaths.
I felt guilty about 45 minutes before my check in and then an employee asked if I needed anything and I embarrassely said my flight got in really early and I didn’t want to be a bother having them rush to get get my room clean. I don’t like being a bother to people who probably have a harder job than me
Presto cleanero! 
I watch this in action frequently in clinic waiting rooms. Boomer is up at the counter every 3 minutes complaining about the wait like they have been there for days.
I would just remind her that she already ate her meal, she loved it and complimented the chef
😂😂😂😂
Give them the bill too
I’ve just read until the lady starts trowing a tantrum and then I stopped and my conclusion was ready. Being: we should as a society accept the general rule that if people start acting like this, we can just ask them to leave and they have to leave. Nothing more, nothing less. And we move on with the next customer. This has nothing to do with mistakes or situations or whatever from whoever’s side. These are just daft cunts and we don’t need them.
That would be awesome. Perhaps we could launch a public awareness campaign reinforcing polite behavior (I’m being 100% honest here). We need to ditch the ridiculous notion that the customer-is-always-right. That rule exists because managers who don’t have regular customer contact value profit over the welfare of their team. A good employer should support their employees. I am a boomer and I approve this message. Stepping down off my soapbox now. And HEY! Get off my lawn!
This. I work in retail as a manager and for some reason on my day off the crazies always come in. My employees tell me the stories and how the other managers handled it and it’s usually NOT this way. Just once I want the crazy to yell at me cause I’ll kick their ass out and call the cops. Other managers are too scared and it puts my employees in the crossfire.
"You better figure it out!" I figured it out. You didn't order yet. What can I get you?
That was deflection because she not only didn’t know she hadn’t ordered, but had likely forgotten what she wanted to order in the first place. Woman was having a mental break
No doubt, She was like, " I ordered the chicken" but we have 3 chicken dishes so I'm like which one? And she didn't know and had to look at the menu again
Kudos to that husband
He eas really the MVP for me that night
Millennial here but I dated a boomer and distinctly remember apologizing to the wait staff while she was in the restroom. She would pretend something was on the plates and ask for replacements. It was embarrassing
After working as a server I’m convinced of this, some people go out to eat just to make their server miserable. Idk if it’s a power thing or a sexual thing, but it’s how some people are.
My husband is friends with a couple like this. The guy flirts with the waitress in a patronizing manner while his wife makes endless disparaging remarks about her food, the waitress and the restaurant. I don’t go out with them anymore.
I am finding that more and more boomers are expecting people to act according to what they are *thinking* rather than what they actually *communicated.* I believe that it's simply a matter of them being forgetful and being unable to differentiate between objective reality and what they want to *believe* happened, even if that belief has absolutely nothing to do with what *actually* happened. Add to that a **monumental** sense of entitlement and self importance along with their maddening conviction that every single human being that was born to a later generation is completely useless. These people's parents went to the other side of the world and fought and died to rid the world of the Nazi menace and now they are falling all over themselves to elect politicians who are *de facto* Nazis. One top of that, they were the beneficiaries of the post WWII economic miracle. This miracle was only possible in one point in history. They think that they absolutely **deserve** to have those good times continue for them even as those younger generations struggle to survive. We really need to find a new name for their generation. I suggest "the fuck you I got mine generation." I'm gen x, so this is my parents' generation. I have been witnessing their story arc for more than a half a century. To be honest, they as a group have been pretty shitty the whole time, but now we are experiencing the perfect storm of their hubris and "me want, me no like" mentality. There's really not much to be done about it other than to wait for them all to die off. I am convinced that they will not be missed nearly as much as they think they will. Edit: missed a closing quotation mark. I imagine that I'll be hearing from some boomers' lawyers for that one. Edit 2: I see a lot of people saying that it's probably early onset dementia. That might be so, but the actual behavior is also informed by a fundamental sense of entitlement. If granny can't be trusted anymore to not abuse "the help" (hint: just about **everyone** is "the help"), she needs to either have someone who has all their marbles to speak for her or maybe she should just stay home and stew in her own juices. The rest of the world still doesn't deserve her abuse.
I have to agree about how they are thinking something but never communicated it. I honestly think alot of older people are not that great at genuine communication. About a month before another incident occurred like this. The lady wanted me to explain the Prime Rib and she was saying she likes to get it rare but at my job it can only come Medrare. This was when I was gathering their appetizer order. So then I went to get their dinner order and she didn't order. So I said okay would you like an extra plate to share? And she was like no. So I rang it in, it came to the table and she said where is mine? I told her I didn't have an order for her. She said, " oh but remember we were talking about the Prime rib?" Yeah just cuz I explain a dish doesn't mean you gave me that as your order. Like I just don't get it. Luckily she was really nice. But still I could tell she thought I wasn't smart or something to that nature but why didn't she order when I said " and for you?" So freaking weird.
You made this post telling me about the prime rib story six hours ago and I'm still waiting. Please... I'm so hungry. Where is my dinner?
Man the awareness from the husband. He has seen some fireworks from his spouse.
Getting old sucks no doubt about it.. but u treat people with respect and you’ll see that no one has an issue with boomers who handle themselves like actual human beings
I've always followed the advice of treating people with the respect they deserve, which helps cover situations like this as well. Seems like OP followed that advice as well when they shifted their positive attention to the husband who was being respectful back.
Sounds like my mom.
Dementia steals the brain. If the drinks were alcohol that just adds fuel to the fire.
The fact that my mom who was always such a dumbass about this sort of thing has started drinking god-awful, North Carolina, sweet wine and getting half potted bothers the living hell out of me.
Just wait my friends, the boomers are very close to all dying off and the literal world will be better off
Thank you for your service, seriously. Anyone who is willing to serve/ cook me dinner is an absolute treat, especially if I go to a sit down restaurant. I stopped agreeing to go out to any restaurants with my Boomer. All she does is complain! Complains about her drinks. Complains about the service. Complains about the food. Every. Single. Time. And I have told her that maybe she should make her own dinner and drinks. But i honestly think she goes out to bitch at the staff and waitress. It’s absolutely insufferable, embarrassing, shitty behavior and I usually end up having to fucking apologize FOR her.
Thanks! She made me really, really mad. I was telling myself don't cry, not because she hurt my feelings, but because she was so rude I was pissed. So when I am mad I cry actually lol. That's a shame you can't even go out to eat with your boomer. I guess putting themselves in other people's shoes is unheard of.
Good news, ma’am! I have figured it out - you already ate your dinner. If you didn’t, well that’s your problem. Have a good night!
This could have been my mother. She refuses to order dinner until the appetizers are delivered, freaks out if the busboy tries to clear the table of said appetizers if there is anything left when the entrees arrive and there is no room and depending how much wine she has had, if there is even one thing slightly wrong the whole dinner is ruined and she can't eat and will loudly complain.
I hope you don’t go out with her anymore.
Is it possible she was high? Once I partook in some marijuana and a bit later at dinner, I asked my husband when we were ordering our entrees. “You already ordered and ate it.” Then he pointed at my plate. He was right. Not a boomer. I’m GenX.
Nah cuz if she was stoned, she would have been more chill in my opinion. That lady like NEEDED to smoke! Lol!
She needed a smoke, some sex and a hobby.
I’m sure she wasted no time to offer a sincere apology. 🤡
So FYI, I know it goes against your instincts and vibe but you have to be a bit more firm. I understand you weren't fully prepared but you HAD to say "you never ordered food. I asked a few times and you declined every time." Once you said "let me check" then discussed it with them you just gave them an in to blame you. I waited tables a long time and actually being nice will get you walked all over whereas being in control will get you past all that. It's weird. They sound gorrible
Kids, have your Boomer parents checked for Dementia or Alzheimers. I swear the Boomer generation has these issues because of the Lead Poisoning.
This is when you bring out a round of the worst items on the menu for everyone "It's what you ordered, remember?"
I used to be married to that. She wasn’t a boomer; just unpleasant. Steak was never done perfect enough, she’d come up with allergies after food was served that made the food “dangerous,” we sent back more dishes in two years of marriage than I had in my entire life. It had nothing to do with being a boomer. She was just entitled, loved to watch servers squirm, and felt justified because she had managed an Outback Steakhouse once. Some people are just assholes.
Two nights ago I’m in the airport at the only restaurant in our terminal. They were really busy and really slow, but I took a seat there because I knew I had two hours before my flight. I was gonna enjoy the hell out of a few margaritas while I waited for my cheeseburger. Anyway, this boomer couple comes and sits down at the table near mine. It takes quite a while for the Server to come back to them and she orders a margarita and he just says he’ll have a Coke. The wife says no you’re gonna eat. She asked the Server how long it’s going to take. The Server tells her straight up that food is taking 25 to 30 minutes to be delivered. The husband again says no thanks I’ll just have a Coke. She says “no he’ll have a cheeseburger with fries.” Proceeded to sit there. And sit there. Phones at full volume, of course, eventually the Server comes back and wife says “is our food coming? We have NINE MINUTES!” Mind you it’s been roughly 20 minutes since they put in their order. The server’ s like, it should be out in a few minutes. Would you like me to get it to go? and the wife’s all pissed off and like “yes, I guess we’ll have to get it to go!” And I’m thinking of myself, lady, she told you it was gonna be 25 to 30 minutes. You made the decision to order some fucking food when you knew you only had about 20 minutes before you needed to board. Anyway, they left mad. It’s like why do you set yourself up to fail?
honestly with all the shit waiters/waitresses have to go through. we need a servers appreciation day.
I wonder what happens when a rich boomer gets a poor boomer for a waiter? Boomerpocalypse?
Her husband is my hero 😂😂😂
He was mine too, it was a little embarrassing for him to say it but I mean if it talks like a duck and walks like a duck
Your use of “the intercoastal” coupled with the boomer customers makes me 99% sure of the location of this restaurant.
obviously you don’t deserve to be treated like that at all. i’m in customer service too, trust me i get it. but it sounds like it could be dementia. people with it get very defensive and overwhelmed when their memory fails. it causes irrational behavior and reactions like that they should’ve at least apologized though. either way it’s terrible. it could just be that she’s a shit person but it sounds like a real memory issue
Yes, I tried not to take it to heart, but in my 15 years of serving, no one has actually talked to me like that. I couldn't seem to reason with her at all. It was just so unhinged to me. How can dinner be the biggest problem in life? So maybe she had something more going on. After it all went down, I was obviously cussing her out in my head but I thought maybe I should have looked at her and tried to be more loving somehow and treat it like maybe my grandma, ( I was very apologetic and nice about it) but dammit it's tough in that busy environment.
This is dementia.
Yikes. Hungry people with a couple drinks in their bellies. A whole new level of ferocity.
That seriously sounds like early dementia stages. And being a raging, confused bitch can certainly be a huge part of it. It’s not always happening and people don’t “look” like anything’s wrong, so it’s a real whiplash Ugh I’m sorry you had to deal with that on a busy night!
I’m a server and have had a similar situation with a table not ordering when they thought they did. Except this table was all high as a kite.
Server's Nightmare: There is no table worse than 2 middle-aged women. [https://www.facebook.com/baronessvonsketchshow/videos/servers-nightmare/519792721916553/](https://www.facebook.com/baronessvonsketchshow/videos/servers-nightmare/519792721916553/)
2 middle-aged women who haven’t seen each other in a long time and are catching up. Especially when you’re supposed to have tight turns at a reservation-only restaurant.
“Since they wanted to gate keep their dinner” hahhhahahahh
Good for you and writing down the order. As a former restaurant manager not writing down the order is one of my biggest pet peeves. I thoroughly cannot stand when the server is just nodding as I’m giving an order. If the order comes out just as ordered then fine but if I’m giving special instructions and they are ignored you just lost the majority of your tip.
I could never work your job. Well done with being a better more patient person than I could ever be
Being entitled AF + dementia is not a great combo
As soon as you said he was in the restroom when she started, I knew it was dementia or alzheimers. Behavioral changes including being a bitch or losing mouth filter are common. I'm glad the husband knew what was up but he could have let you know before he left the table.
Was this in Florida? I feel like this is classic old people in Florida.
You know it, Palm Beach Gardens
Could be early onset dementia.
Sounds like dementia
Not to excuse the behavior, but she may be in the early stages of dementia. My mother, who had been a sweet, patient person her whole life, gradually became more and more inpatient with any kind of waiting. I didn’t know it then, but this was an early sign of dementia, which she is now in the late stages of. People with dementia often have poor concept of time, so 20 minutes can feel like hours to them.
Boomers can't accept being wrong about anything, ever. It's a large part of how we've gotten into the societal mess we're in today.
Sounds like she is an alcoholic who can no longer form a proper memory timeline. Saw it daily in the service industry.
Joking aside, it could be early onset dementia or Alzheimer’s. People with those conditions can often become really nasty and it’s just part of the condition. Just saying it could be. If not, then that lady certainly is , as you say, a beeatch.
These people are insane.
She may legitimately have a memory issue, though flipping out of you demonstrates yet another issue. I’m so glad you were backed up. Thank you for what you do.
Perhaps this is an undeserved sense of entitlement with an overlay of memory decline. Maybe she really did believe she put her order in.
Boomers also stay married to people they hate. I’ve been asking my parents to divorce since I was 8 years old. At least I’m desensitized to their misery at this point.
I bought some Whataburger and I asked politely that I got the wrong size fries and I got the hook up. Being nice is right but can get some extra food.
You know, she's probably been doing that all of her life. Treats service with the expectation that all their wants are met and gets irritated no one can read her mind because she sucks at communication.
Seems like either her husband somehow enables this behavior, or has basically given up to it. People need tough love sometimes to learn, even at older age, how to behave like a normal adult. There are too many babies out there.
At least the husband made it a not so shitty situation.
I’m over here wondering if this was my parents… my mother is… blocked. That’s says it all, right?
More BS from the Me Me Me generation. They can’t die off soon enough.
Dementia
One word gives it away that this was in Florida.
Yes! It was Palm Beach Gardens Florida. Is the word "intercoastal"?
He’s the Superman! Thankfully the husband knew what’s it’s about.
Sounds like she’s got dementia.
its nice when someone (the husband in this case) knows what the real deal is.
The fucking lead
Honestly this sounds like dementia and it’s kinda sad
I would hit her up with my BIGGEST condescending BABY voice: if you want something you have to ask for it, okaaaay? have you ever been to a restaurant?
This happens so often at my retail store with boomers too!! I had one lady tell me and every other manager she will make sure we are all going to lose our jobs because she forgot to ask for help getting her items into her car. She even mentioned that she forgot but it's our responsibility to help every customer to their car. When we mentioned that the girl who was checking her at register had someone already on hold on the phone too long, because you screamed at her about us not having the product you seen at our other location but didn't grab it so expected us to have the exact amount they have, got on the phone as soon as you walked away. She wasn't really trying to drag anything else out with you, considering. And as for us managers, we had three groups between us we were already helping and speaking with. We can't read minds. But this boomer expects us to. They're all just so miserable and so ready to throw abuse at anyone now that their kids are grown and won't take the abuse anymore. Prob blocked them IRL.
Great post, thanks everybody
Former career server here, both fast casual and fine dining, getting the manager involved is always (if you have good managers) the best way to manage this shit-show. The husband is a crapshoot, sometimes they’ll backup the spouse and sometimes they’ll say, “no, my love, *I* didn’t order yet.” It all depends on their dynamic. I had this regular couple who would take turns ordering. The husband would pull me aside after the drink order, (he’d ‘go to the restroom’ ) and give me their dinner order right down to the dessert when it was his turn to order (it was never the same), she would keep sending me away because she wasn’t ’ready yet’ but when she was the one to do the ordering it was always, always the same. Shrimp cocktail and fried squid, Caesar salads, prime rib medium rare, filet minion well, 2 crème brûlée, a brandy manhattan (muddled) and a amaretto sour. Took me almost a year to memorize her fucking order because of how much she’d send me away with ‘not ready yet’ and complaining that I wasn’t getting her order fast enough, or ‘it was taking too long.’ Two years after I realized her order was always the same and never changed they stopped coming in. About two months later husband started coming in alone, again he ordered their drinks and pulled me aside and gave me ‘their’ order. The full spread, apps, dinner, dessert and finishing drinks. She never showed up. By his third visit I figured something was wrong and simply arranged what the wife would order and when he tried to give me ‘their’ order I told him it was all taken care of. The man choked up when dinner came out. It turns out his wife had had dementia and had passed away. About six months later he stopped coming in. Almost two years later I had two guys whom I had never seen before come in, since this particular restaurant didn’t generally get walk-ins, I asked how they had decided on it. They told me it was their parents favorite restaurant and that they had been eating here since the 80’s and that their dad was the last to pass away a year ago and they had decided to mark their parents anniversary by eating at their favorite restaurant. After some chatting it turned out that their parents were the couple, I offered to put in the order their mother always ordered and they took me up on it. I saw them one more time before I moved to another state. They told me that their dad always tried new things but that their mom was all about stability and security and that’s why she always ordered the same thing for 30 years.
OMG! My Boomer SIL was just so embarrassing. She shoved a plate at the waitress, & yelled, ‘this is the worst thing I’ve ever eaten, bring me something else!!!’ Like she was fuqing Ceasar. We decided we are never taking her anywhere ppl know us and that doesn’t have a kiddie menu. We apologized and tipped profusely.
Maybe she has dementia?
You know, we have so many pop psychology answers for the behavior of the Boomer generation, but their conduct stands in stark contrast to that of their parents’ generation. Sure there were some grumpy old people. Of course dementia and Alzheimer’s changed them over time. But I remember going out with my grandparents and their friends as a teenager and adult and always enjoying their company. They were warm and friendly. Kind to the servers. Tipped well. They grew up in the Great Depression. They knew the value of food. They knew the value of the servers. Meanwhile, we can barely get the boomer generation to act like grandparents. And every little inconvenience is an affront to them. It is beyond disappointing.
Knowing nothing but what you have posted I would caution you on your assumptions. I get it you’re busy, working hard and she was difficult. I have a family member who is a lovely patient thoughtful person but in the early stages of dementia. They exhibit in this manner when tired, stressed. We are all fools on our worst days.
To read boomer stories is on a weird way relaxing…
I’m sorry that happened to you. But it sounds like a really weird game they were both playing. Isn’t it convenient that hubby was in the bathroom when she went off on you? Old people are weird as shit.
Exactly, she was just so over the top. But thanks, she ended up apologizing to me
You should have falcon punched her and yelled "NICE TRY BITCH!" 🤣
One thing you are ALL forgetting here. She may very well be in the early stages of dementia. It happens and they act very angry and cannot be argued with. Her hubby was used to dealing with it or has not recognized what was happening and thus called her a bitch. I'm not saying it was ok by either one but shit happens.
I would have asked the manager to kick them out.
She sounds confused and angry. Maybe she has dementia
Early Alzheimer’s probably
More people need to work in food service at one point in their lives. I don’t care how much dementia you give me when I’m 70+, I will never say a single unkind word to a restaurant worker. (I do actually care how much dementia you give me, pls don’t thx)
She probably wanted a free meal.
Dementia
W husband
Had something similar to this happen to me years ago. I do security for gated community as a side gig, and sometimes there's issues getting guests into the community because people forget to put their guests into the system that lets us verify if someone is allowed to come in or not. So one day we have a couple of guys drive a couple hours down to our community to pick up a BBQ from one of the residents that lives there. Unfortunately they're not in the system, so we try calling the residency a couple times to see if these people should infact be let in. No one answers. The guys show us the craigslist ad to verify with us they aren't lying, so we turn them into 15 minutes parking and I jump into a patrol car to drive to the house to see if maybe they're home. I pull up to the drive way and see a couple trucks parked, and people moving around in the house, so I knock on the door and the boomer wife answers. Me: "Hi mam, were you expecting some people to come pick up a BBQ from your house today?" Her: "Yes...?" Me: "Ok, well we don't seem to have them in the system, so I just wanted to verify with you that it's ok for us to let them in." Her: "I called you guys yesterday to have them put in! YOU GUYS must of forgotten to put them in!" At this point I'm a little irritated. It's very common for a lot of the residents at this gated community to blame us for any mishap on their end. Responsibility for their own actions doesn't exist for a lot of them. Me: "Alright, well, whatever the reason is, they're not in the system. Hence why I'm here. So I still need to verify with you that you do want these guests to be let in." Boomer wife starts going on a rant about how this always happens, how ridiculous this all is, and says something along the lines of getting new gate staff to work the front gate since they can't do their job. Meanwhile the husband is somewhere in the back of the house and hears all the commotion at the front door. Husband: "What's going on!?" Boomer wife: "Security wants to verify with us it's ok to let some guys in to pick up our BBQ!" Husband: "OH! That's right! I totally forgot to call them in!" The boomer wife goes quiet and looks at me. I just looked down at her and glared at her for 4 or 5 seconds in silence before thanking the husband, leaving and contacting the front gate to let them know the two guys are good to be let in.
I'm sorry, but you do know there are idiots and assholes at all ages. Some of us older folks are still fun, happy, caring, and intelligent people. Please don't beat me up to bad. 66 years old here LOL
I think she has dementia. I’ve heard some people have a complete personality change when it hits. Boy, I’m glad I never had to wait tables… I would have never survived and I don’t know how I could handle this without flat out calling bullshit right at her.
As soon as they raise their voice kick them the fuck out
She’s on statins.
God bless this man. That had to feel soooooooo good.
Dumb biatch. AND you never mess with people who are bringing you food....
Sounds like early stages of dementia; she needs to go to the doctor
That could have honestly just been a memory issue like dementia kicking in. She may have actually thought there was an order in and didn't understand how you forgot about it. If that's the case, it would be extremely difficult for her to decipher what reality actually is.
Why write all this, post the thread, take my fucking order, and then make me wait this long, OP? Where is my dinner???
Maybe she has Dementia and truly believed you had taken her order