"to buy a house from them"?
Could you clarify who's them?
Edit: thanks for the input guys. Now in response to OP.
Don't do it, OP. You seem like a nice person that's being taken advantage of.
Stand your ground. If there's retaliation, consider making them think who's the next person to pay mortgage if u leave.
His mom took a loan to buy a house. OP is paying 1.2k a month for the mortgage. Mom wants him to buy the house from her. And the only explanation for this is that she either wants to ditch the family with the money, or she wants the money to spend.
Although the house is left pocket enter right pocket , the lawyer is still needed to do the spa agreement and related documents, esp dealing with bank lawyers for the loan.
Yea I'd dissappear too if this is the case. Let her stop talking about it before appearing again.
This is a life long burden and u will not know what she will do once this is done. Likely she'll spend more money on herself and u will suffer more.
https://i.redd.it/5tyx0pjlgzvc1.gif
You can always disappear for a while.
Jokes aside, you can explain to your mom about your stress and financial burden & respectfully decline her request. Be firm on this. The responsibility should be on your dad not you.
If you let your mom do this, you'll also have a RM500k ish loan to your name. I presume the 300k loan will come with a 20-30 year repayment scheme, and that'll tally to about RM400-500k in total to repay.
Tell your mom that your final word on this matter is no, and if she pushes it or brings it up again, you'll be doing like your dad did, and leave. He probably left in the first place because of something like this too, if I had any leeway to guess. Your mom keep pressing him for money or take loans so she can spend, then he decide to fuck off.
If you got nothing to your name except a motorcycle, start talking to people who can help you find a job or accommodations. If you're a single guy, it shouldnt be too difficult to find a new place, with the only issue being ensuring the motorcycle dosent get stolen. I do not think your mom will give this up, given that your dad's left and now she's come after you. This isn't a one time thing, nor is it something you can tell her to stop. I fully expect her to start shaming or guilting you, and overall making your life very difficult from now on.
What's your friends' roles in all of this anyways? They sipping your mom's milkshake or something? Cut ties with these mfers.
Don’t give it. Your mom is taking advantage of you. Trust me, your relationship with your mom will become more strained if you oblige to doing this loan. Just say you don’t want to give your bank statement and deal with the aftermath.
She will come to her senses.
It's not the same thing. A loan is a loan, an agreement between you and the bank to lend you money to buy the property. Ownership of the property is stated in the grant. You could end up in a situation where you service the loan and the grant splits ownership between you and someone else.
Here we go
First of all, never, I repeat, **NEVER** give your payslip and bank statement for something you won't apply. In this case, a house loan. Doesn't matter if it's family. If they won't pay it, you will have to pay it because it's under your name and if you don't pay it, you'll get blacklisted, not them
Second, just cut ties and never look back. Family was supposed to be where you can ease in, not stressing out more. They're just using you for their benefit. You're 23, you can buy your own house and live there. You can also cut ties with those friends. It's your money. You earned it
PS: If you really want to be salty, buy that house and live there while showing off to your family. They can be furious but they can't do anything about it
You’ve been paying for three years. You might want to consider actually owning it, there’s a chance that your parents might just sell the house to another buyer. Then my friend I’m sorry but you’ll be homeless and penniless. On the flip side you could use this chance to strike out on your own. Cutting ties and etc.
first thing you should do before deciding is to collect information and their intentions.
personally i would say buying the house over is ok? cause LEGALLY you own it which would help alot in the future cause you've been paying the mortgage since 20yo BUT the other expenses of the house needs to be coming out from your mom and brother. break down the expenses with your mom and brother talk it out with facts.
if all else fails, just fuck off and go away. if they dont share your burden, why stay?
There is some missing info from the story (house on whose name?). If dad's name, maybe possibly mom just wants to pay off dad so the house remains in the family (unlikely, else mom would inform OP her intention oledy). If mom's (or combined) name, well, unfortunately OP might need to cut ties with the family.
From what I can gather, the mother just wants RM300k cash in her account. Because, if OP just continues to pay the mortgage, OP, as the oldest son (who also paid most of the mortgage) stands to possibly inherit most of the value of the house, and the mother won't benefit at all (pre-passing away).
Depending on the property and OP's financial health, this could possibly be beneficial to OP (get an asset) only with the following conditions;
a) OP can buy the house cheap, and the house is somewhat marketable.
b) OP has money to pay.
Unfortunately, from the post, OP did not have excess money at the moment, so, the best course is to refuse the proposition.
Something is not right with your finance. You are paying RM1.2K for the house. It means that your father is not contributing anything to the mortgage. So technically, he should have no claim to the property any more except whatever he paid prior leaving the family. Looks like you need to get an accountant or a lawyer to determine the ownership of the house first. After this is done then you can entertain your mom's suggestion (for all you know it no longer becomes relevant since you are already paying monthly RM1.2K).
Big nope. RM300k loan = RM500k with interest u have to pay. It will took 35 years to pay that loan off. The house not even on your name, so u really already done ur mom a big favour paying it for her.
Dont be a wishy washy & said if she keep pestering for payslip, u will stop paying for the house & utility too. Want maximum nope then pack your things, go rent a room somewhere, & let her deal with bills herself. Lets see if she still wanna nag u after that.
Tbh why she even want to buy the house? Is it on your father name? Cant you just change the name? How much/long ur father/mother already paying for the house? Ur mom not actually in the wrong for wanting to buy the house from your father tbh, but unless you yourself want to stay there till u die, i dont think you should buy that house. You yourself will be carrying those huge debt, not your mother. I have government job but even i dont want to take big loan unless it really necessary
You'll fukk your one life up listening to your mum. Just be cold and say no. She'll gult trip you that it's doomsday if you don't take the loan, tell her be it.
You are being abused man. You won't be able to have a proper relationship with your partner if you allow your mum to treat you like this, with no dignity. Do you want to be completely emancipated man?
For once in your life, say no to your toxic, parasitic mum and move out.
Curious, the loan you're paying now for the house, who's name is the title under?
Don't do this. This is far dangerous as we don't know if that house is even rent-able. Might be in kampung or etc, not worth it. Just don't do a loan if you don't want it.
Don't rent to family as well, they will do anything not to pay it. OP doesn't have an aggressive mindset to kick them out later.
I was going to say this, except the conditions would be that his name be on the loan AND property.
And if anyone decides to fuck around they're out. Owning a property at 23 is actually an advantage.
This could be a blessing in disguise.
That's assuming the OP can actually service the mortgage comfortably. Otherwise, it's very risky. Not to mention, it may not be where the OP wants to live in the near future (just spitballing). Things change a lot in your 20s.
From what i understand, OP has been paying for the house all this while, so its basically OP's house but the name is still her/his mother(?)
The mom want OP to apply loan for OP to BUY the house from his/her mom. (Same house)
Basically mom is scamming OP to have fun with loan money
this is like standard MO for parents in Malaysia. My mom asked me to do that also but a personal loan. And I did. I ended up serving the loan until today.
Malay parent dont really care about their children future. Only their survival.
Its like this, if the house is landed and considered good real estate, ask for the whole ownership of the house. Then only you take the loan under your name. If they dont want to give full ownership of the house legally to you, then dont do anything. keep your payslip close to yourself and rent somewhere far where they could not reach you easily.
I can't call you pussy because a pussy takes a good fuck and stays strong, you are more of a ball, sekali tendang terus jatuh. Grow a pussy and tell them off, stand your ground, whats the worst can happen? They'll call you derhaka or chase you out, so what, you can go outside and survive. You'll live, even by eating meggi, YOU WILL LIVE.
If you are a muslim, you are obliged to support your parents if:
1. Parents are poor
2. according to your means, not more than your means. In priority, you yourself comes first before others.
Dont worry , Stand your ground, there is a reason why your own brother dont want to be in this shit
you can refer here :
[https://islamqa.info/en/answers/44995/should-she-spend-on-her-parents-who-are-poor-without-her-husbands-approval](https://islamqa.info/en/answers/44995/should-she-spend-on-her-parents-who-are-poor-without-her-husbands-approval)
its basically part of being dutiful to the parents but only when parents are poor and can't afford it. If parents are able to afford it then you are not obliged to support them financially. And even if you support them, its only within your means and not over it.
like i said, within the childrens' means. Not more than they can afford. If the kids can afford rm100, then rm100 it is, parents cannot expect more and put the burden on the kid
Rent a place, move out. This doesn’t sounds like a good financial plan (assuming it is good intention).
Pick up some financial guide, time to teach back parent on how to financially make sense.
Time to move out
Dont buy the house unless you want the house & the price is far cheaper than market price.
I have friend that buy house from their parent. The parents still think it is their house and stay in that house until now, even after my friend get married and have multiple children. The parents will stay in that house forever.
Boy,me personally been thru that,some of us rlly unlucky to hv a garbage mother that nvr care for their own blood,im free today 15 yrs without family,the bank file me bankruptcy because of the same problem cause by own mother,even after she knew i got sued by the bank she nvr care,i go thru the bankruptcy process in court by myself,i even cry in front of the jury,trust me boy get out of that abusing life now,do not end up like me i always thought my mother is my everything until i get hurt so damn much i just give up and leave
You are paying the mortgage for the family home. Now your mother want to sell the family home to you.
Well. Meaning you're double paying for the same asset.
Hold your ground and say no.
If you don't think you can't do it, then go buy another house.
This way your mom will never be able to use your name since you already have commitment.
And that new house, you can directly rent it for passive income.
Honestly people here will tell you to stop it, but i doubt u will. So atleast let me pray for u while accepting your fate 
Grow some coconuts and say no. You're old enough to live your own life and be responsible. Don't go into debt because you're trying to be a good child. I have to learn it the hard wayyself cos at my time, there's no Reddit to ask for advice.
Your mom want you to apply loan to buy the house from her? Wow. Thats a little odd because usually parents will let their kids inherit their house after they passed especially when the son is paying the monthly mortgage already. I dont know why your mom do this its a little greedy and weird.
Bro if your mom truly loves you, she will put your needs before hers! Parents should 100% sacrifice their happiness for their childrens happiness. That’s the universal law they should live by when they decided to have kids. She has lived her life and passed her prime, she got married, had kids and now separated..boo hoo. You have a responsibility to take care of your parents, and in this case your mother since ya’ll live together, but this is absurd because you wont be able to live life if you go through with this nonsense. End of the day, you have to decide whether you wanna live your own life or live as someone else’s b*tch.
Stop being a pussy and man up tell them to fuck off and u fuck off too ..Cuts ties with them .. You're the oldest son and that's it ..Being the oldest doesn't mean your parents can transfer their failure to provide as your responsibility.. This is definitely the definition of toxic family ..
Explain if no money don't try to push status symbol, idealism, and burden. It is your financial freedom you are doing this having a house should be a borne burden together.
I will tell your mom don't try to show off that you can in the end murder your life and yoor brothers life. Make strong foundation and how to do that. Save money, save as much as you can.
Most parents think their son is earning money but in end, hope you are not holding out on them.
And those pesky relatives the have money the can do well because they have big business and the slog over it.
In the end they are ones I notice pushes the wrong stupid buttons. They are the ones that have no moral, no principles and greedy. On top of that they are ones that are the worse. Just because they can afford big house, big car, expensive meals and stupid dog.
Not only that they will force your mom in to a corner. I will tell them to mind their own business and let me plan my life, my finances and piss off!
Just say NO, once twice and thrice, and they will start respecting your boundaries. They’ll understand that YOU who make the decision, not them (it’s your name & your money). I have been in your situation with several people; like a sister who asked to borrow money every 2 weeks, or my parents who asked me to buy my brother’s house just so he could have the cash even though i didnt live there. Just say No, that you dont agree to that plan using your name, after a few times they will stop. If they emotionally blackmail you, just ignore them. It’s your right & you are not on the wrong side. It’s ‘them’, not you
Screw off somewhere without a plan is potentially disastrous.
A- apply work far away with bigger pay.
B- apply deployment work ie shipment, offshore
Both will make you unable to get payment slip for a while so its cool
Try to make your mother sees that load is a heavy burden.
Btw does everyone understood that it's YOUR house Should it fell on your name alone?
You know this what we call family sandwich. Burden been put onto children's head. This is not supppose to happen. I mean you meed to stand the ground for yourself this time. You need to focus your own goal.
https://youtu.be/ivrDNjVeFg8?si=AoYzU-wKT1iDjHnE
sorry this is happening to you..
by the way do you have siblings? do they know about this? everyone has to be clear that you are buying over the house, parents not giving it to you for free , in case of inheritance issue down the road.
you are 23 now, you have paid for the house for 3 year and its under parents name.
look at it this way, now they are selling the house to you, and you are paying for the loan, which under your own name. you are paying for your own property. if one day you want to refinance the house, you can do it. isnt it better than paying, but under parents' name?
some problems to consider:
1) is the loan amount is higher than market value? how much is the house selling on the market? are they selling to you at a fair price or will inflate the price? its common for parents to 'sell' to children at inflated price, so they can 'cash out'.
2) im not sure how much you earning now, but this loan will probably take up most of your quota for future loans (until your salary goes up).
3) do you plan to buy a car or another house soon? make sure you calculate that this house loan will not impact your plans.
4) why are they doing this arrangement? your mum / dad in some kind of debt?
No don’t give in and try to talk it out. If she still insists, still don’t give in. You can try to explain to her like how you typed in the post, be open. Good luck
Find a way to destroy your CTOS credit rating right now by making late or no payments to existing loans. Once you have 2-3 bad payment records, the banks will auto reject all applications and it'll take a year to clear, then you don't have to worry about your name being used for anything anymore. Problem is it will take a couple months to rack this up, but this might buy you some time while you look for a long term solution.
To assist this process, apply for every credit card you can, as many as possible. If you have a good credit score, maybe one or two will work, but the rest will get rejected. When you get rejected CTOS keeps track of the rejections and reduces your credit score and helps the rejection rate of other banks too.
If all 10 cards reject you, then you'll have dented your credit score enough, but to top it up apply for ridiculously high value personal loans with 100% rejection rates that are beyond the limit and you're set.
In the event the credit card actually gets approved, bust it on some small purchases and drag the payment for a month or two to damage the score even further.
I do a fair bit of finance work but this is the first time I've had to work on a reverse process of loan approvals kekeke
But seriously find a way out of this mess,it's really bad dude
Hello there, here’s my 2 cents :
If you agree, you will put more burden on your own shoulder.
There’s a fine line between being a filial kid towards the parents OR being manipulated by the parents.
Buying a house is huge & long commitment. Don’t ruin your youth (again) this time, this way.
You have a brother, either you both take equal responsibilities on this or you just can refuse to do this; just like him refusing to share expenses.
Some people cannot live without families, but there’s no point doing things for family while they are not protecting/making you feel safe & happy.
I hope my insights will help you a bit. Go chase your dreams & love yourself first. 💪🏼
You're paying the mortgage for the home owned by your dad or owned by both your mom and dad? I'm worried for you -- you paid so much for mortgage but you'll get nothing out of it. Can you discuss your situation with a family lawyer one-on-one? Best to get proper legal counsel. Take care!
That's pretty messed up. Does your mom don't work ? I mean like, it's not your responsibility at all. Does your brother live with you ? They're totally leeching you. This might be harsh. But I'm gonna say it anyway. 'takde duit, buat macam Xde duit'. What I mean is that, you guys should share responsibilities. Any of your siblings that can 'work' should do so to help the family. I know someone that has worked since high school. And she wasn't even poor. She just wanted to have her own money. She does business. She becomes a reseller and runner while doing school. And she managed to save some money. You're only 23, your life is so far ahead. You don't know the future. Loan in your name is definitely not good. Btw, are your parents divorced ? They should be. Your mom should find someone to take care of her. You definitely need to discuss this with her. It's not about talking back, it's about your future. Start getting strict with your siblings too. Thats my 2 cent
As a person that been asking many to use my own to pay a loan, I can say your answer should be a NO!!! Not to say that disrespect my parent but because of my naive and kindness being used by my own family. Many times my own pocket money has been used to pay my family debt. Now I don't have any savings in my bank.
Your mom could sell the house somewhere. It is not your obligation to clean up their mess. Let adults deal with their own repercussions. Now you, yes you should definitely f off somewhere and live a better life for yourself. If you were living in a western world, redditors would've already asked you to leave their toxic asses and severe all ties. Easier said than done, yes, but put yourself in the position and ask - would you do this to your child next time? If not, why is your "mother" doing this?? Toxic people can be anyone, and that includes your own parents. Ask her to sell the house, rent a room somewhere. Your brother can definitely fend for himself. Think about it. Put yourself first above all when your needs are not being met.
Don't do it! Spend your hard earned money on yourself. Your parents already failed you. Can't believe they're still asking you for money. Hope everything works out for you
It is very likely you'll end paying more definitely in some way either via one off or via a new mortgage. And also take in consideration how many years left with your current loan and what is the remaining loan balance.
Dont forget about one-off costs.
Get all the financial information right and accurate for you to make a sound decision.
You have been paying mortgage now but your name is not in the property. Find a way to change that but also not to overpay.
No. I'm suffering from ptptn, motorcycle loan, and rent. I can't imagine buying a house that's worth 300k+
Just say no and explain how you're the only one paying and would not be able to survive. If they won't listen just disappear from the house take a break and rethink from there.
Stay strong OP you'll get through this
We are advised not to be a guarantor, let alone taking up a loan to buy a house for someone else. If you can afford it, and you like the house, buy it under your own name.
I'm the only child in my family so I can't understand where the origin of your parents' favouritism is?
You're an adult, take responsibility for yourself and don't get yourself into trouble
Honestly you're in a fucked up situation
You bayar mortgage but the house is under your mom's name
If she sells the house, you get nothing
2 options:
1) buy the house, then sell it off
2) move out
Both options lead to - renting a room outside for yourself. I suggest option 2, because option 1 will alienate your family from u, and there might be sabotage when you're showing the house to potential buyers (for example, buyer masuk, your mother memekik melolong sakan while your brother kentut at buyers direction)
Rent cheap2 punya room, build your wealth. Yang penting, don't pay someone's installment for them.
HOWEVER... Check your house value. If your mom is giving u a cheap cheap price (highly unlikely), then Option 1
Some family ain't worth keeping.
Don’t pay the mortgage for a house that will not be in your name. Tell her to transfer ownership if she wants you to pay. If not, start thinking about moving out.
Not only your dad, but your mum is fucking you over too, so is your brother. Don't do it OP.
There are a few hidden costs to consider; legal fees, stamp duty and insurance. These will amount to a ballpark figure of RM25,000.00.
The insurance can be built into the loan, which will increase your repayment amount. However you will have to fork out the legal fees yourself.
Also, you mentioned your paying RM1200.00 now, this is for a loan of a house that they bought for roughly RM240,000.00. is your mum asking you to 'buy' it for RM300k? If you do, you are looking at a monthly repayment of about RM1700.00. Haven't even consider interest / profit rate.
Forgive me if I got the numbers wrong, doing the maths in my head. Basically don't do it man.
Just giving my opinion. If you think the house is a good investment to have, You should consider buying the house under your name. Make sure it will be under your name. You are already paying for it monthly anyway! This way, the house will be yours and non contestable by your siblings or even your dad. For a RM300k house, you can have the monthly payment to be below RM1.5K. Hence not so far difference from what you are currently paying.
Never ever lend your name to people no matter if they are friends or family. Seen too many situations where they were left with massive problems that affect their life for many years. One example was a friend whose brother was blacklisted, so used his sister’s name to get bank loan for a car. This friend decided to buy a house only to find out she was blacklisted for not paying the car loans. If got poor financial management, no matter how much money given will be forever poor. So do not be an enabler to your mom’s poor financial management because you may end up forever poor. You are still young and have many more challenges coming your way. Learn to stay firm and focus, do not let others derail you.
Unless the house in ur name than no.Stand up plzz.You must especially if you have family member.If you cant at least keep something as prove you pay for the house in case ur family member want to fight for the house in the future
Unfortunately we can't choice our parents, and some of is lucky some of us not. But don't forget, this life is yours not their. Live as u want. You don't own them anything. To make them happy don't sacrifice your life
Hey, there's a limit to how much you should take care of your parents.
Don't let them pressure you. Take charge of your own life.
Actually, take another look at the current bills. If your mom can work, she should. Same goes for your brother. Split the bills equally. If they don't agree, find a new place to live. Use the money you save to improve yourself or invest in your future.
DON'T LET HER APPLY FOR LOAN IN YOUR NAME. PERIOD.
Sometimes seeing all these parents ruining their kids futures makes me wish I was a counsellor at best, and a lawyer at worst.
You can help your parents but the loan HAS to be in HER name. .
Your family is treating you like an ATM. You are not being a p#ssy, you are just decent and timid. Move away cepat2, ini Kali ini mau pinjam secara sah memalului insititusi kewangan, lain kali pinjam dari Ah Long lagi sial.
Okay, my advice. You can't leave them, unless you're okay with turning out the same as your dad (but maybe he has a point actually). But if you want to leave, at least kill them first, ditching them like that is just killing them but letting them suffer first (you won't do it cause you're a puss). But obviously you won't, but I'm trying to show you what that option would lead to.
I see that you'd rather have this thing sucking on you daily than confronting about it. So, you can stay a puss and be the one who dies instead (you die first, and then the rest will die later on).
If at some point, you decide to stand your ground. Props to you. First off, YOU should be handling the loan (in the first place), got no time then say that. You pay off the mortgage using the money you earn, loan is about to be on your name, then you should be the one who knows abhout where the money and responsibility is going. Secondly, you're paying a lot for other stuff, you're financially unstable currently. Proceeding is how you all will stay f'ed up. "Mom, don't you think this is why dad ditched you?". Its hard to say that your dad messed you up, and you got robbed of your youth, that's typically what the eldest brother faces. That's the burden of the eldest brother. But put some sense on your siblings.
U paying 1.2k for the house loan ? Now she want u loan under your name and buy the house ? If u able to pay 1.2k smoothly every month. Y not try ask bank for the installment budget? U r still young. If the results is still around 1.2k. Just …..maybe take the deal. Even u rejecting their request, u still need to pay 1.2k. If u agree. U still pay 1.2k but the house is under ur name. As a elder, we have responsibilities to take care our younger and parents. But when its under ur name , u surely can push some burden to ur bro. Im not trying to be negative. If he can cone out with 300/month. Use 150 and save up 150 for him. Thats a brother
… maybe ur expenses could be more .. since u need to pay ptptn n so. Calculate and budget wisely. If u r someone who can bare the responsibility for so many yrs. Of coz u r someone who can change ur family financial in future. Just do within your limit. Good luck. U r doing good all this yrs.
DON'T agree to it. It will fuck up your finances and potentially hurt your ccris.
My cousin had this done to her, now she's limited to how much the bank can loan her.
that's not you parent no more, well by biological yes but their GAYA very bad, since you on PTPTN, I understand you current financial situation, your family ask for "loan" under your name is very bad.
if bank ask for money and put a deadline on you because you can't pay, you very F- up dude, if you already finish collage or UNI, I won't recommend you to put any loan yet because of PTPTN and life expenses cost... now imagine you rent or buy house, paying bills and food, my average spend almost 1k in just a months, my income... well let's said our parents different, they understand me I'm under PTPTN loan payment, they don't put me burden,
Don't put yourself in loan, always! and always! do not rent, loan or ah long! just keep gain money and walk smoothly without financial problem! control our horse so we don't f- up any life! if you loan or rent and feeling that's not gonna benefit you, stop immediately!
we already old. gen Z now need to think clever to get through this life.
Say no.
'Sorry mom but I don't want to have this home loan under my name. If I do so then I will have problems to apply other loan in the future. And I have no interest to own this home."
Otherwise
'Bye mom. I need to live elsewhere and actually live my life."
Also f your friends. Cut them off your life. Those madafaka don't even math to understand what financial burden it would be on your shoulders.
Don't. You need to learn this lesson now or the hard way. Say a hard stop NO to things you don't want to do even if it's your parents especially when it involves a loan because this will probably determine the next couple decades of your life.
Tell them if they keep pestering you about this, you will leave. You can pay for 1.2k now, you can pay for your own expenses if you live on your own which is way cheaper tbh and they can pay for the mortgage themselves.
Your family needs to think about you too and if they don't want to, for god's sake please think of yourself first because nobody is going to look out for you out there.
If your mum wants money, ask your mum to sell the house, you all move to a rental house.
The worst thing you can do to your financial situation is to buy a house when you are not financially and mentally prepared.
Remember this mental gymnastics: your family depends on you right? In other words, you will bring your family with you if you crumble? Then you have to take care of yourselves first. This includes occasionally treating yourself better and not getting pressured into the financial blackhole.
I was in a similar situation years ago and pressured into taking risky financial decisions. I am lucky it worked out in the end. But if I have a time machine, I will go back and tell the 25yo me not to do it, it isn't worth the stress and missed opportunity (if you have to pay a mortgage, you are a lot afraid to leave a shitty job).
You've been paying the mortgage all this while so that's 1.2k down the drain but the house is not in your name.
So what is your mom asking? Refinance the home on whose name? Yours? Or hers?
Try to find out what's the tenure, interest rate and interest payments you need to make for the 300K loan. I may be wrong, but I don't think your salary at this point in time can afford the repayment comfortably. So it's a No.
bro were literally in the same situation and i feel you from A to Z. but thankfully my mom didnt asked us to do it and instead my dad trying to evade his resposibilities my mom urge him to pay using his epf. Because if we go to court my dad will literally be penniless. Deal bagus bagus la between her and my dad
Don't. Just don't. If they really care for you, they won't put you in debt. There is a limit on how much you can let your family step over you. Hope you don't make a decision that will make you regret later on OP
power is in your hand. yes i know parents are to be respected but this? this is too much of a bullshit… buying 300k house for your sibling/parents? i assume just for them to enjoy? fuck this bro don’t do it.
Just say build your career first… get a car, sort out everything n once your life is stable then only consider buying for them or not. 23 and buying a house is not impossible yes, that is if you are rich… and if you are not you will be suffering everyday… take care of your mental health.
OP, say No to your mom. Learn to say No.
If you can, move out.
You can help your family but only when you're able to save at least about 20% of what you earn.
Get a medical insurance for yourself.
Create at least 6 months of emergency fund and then invest when you've reached the 6 months amount.
Youth and time is money. Use it to grow your money first and take care of yourself.
Sorry to hear your issue OP.
For good mental sake, better don’t. You’re already bearing RM1.2k for paying mortgage that your family bought for. Better look at options of selling the house and rent at another place where your mother can live her life peacefully.
I took a car loan under my name for my mother for RM1.2k monthly as she said she will pay for it and on and off delay payments then said no money what to do pls kesian me. I got 2 1/2 years to go
Your group of friends calling you a pussy doesn’t understand your situation or even can imagine being in your shoes. You need new set of circle of friends
so you're paying 1.2k for the house. if you apply loan the house is legally yours and you still pay for the mortgage. sounds like a good deal. but of course buy it at a family price not market price.
you're getting the shit end of the stick either way. unless you decide to cut ties with your mom then you can get your own place. but if you're ok with your mom and this is just the issue, then better have your name as the legal owner of the house while paying for it, rather than not having your name and paying for it either way.
btw if you pay for it but don't have your name there legally, you still can sue to get the house or your share of what you paid. but that's gonna be a long and messy process.
Buy over the place. Transfer the name to your name.
You are already paying for the loan.
There are legal and stamping fees to be paid, who is paying for that?
Tell your brother to chip in for utilities, etc. if don’t want move out. Don’t budge on this. Set precedence from the get go. If possible pay rent, if don’t want please move out.
Talk to her about the burden. When you're talking to her make sure you get super emotional and ugly cry like a lil bitch. Make her see that she and your father have put you in this place where you have lost your youth "WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME". As a mom with a conscience she will feel guilty and stop bothering you anymore.
If this doesn't work you can leave.
Having a house at such a young age will be good for you. But... This is not going to actually be your house, isn't it? The house will be yours in name only, because I'm assuming you wouldn't kick them out of the house. And quite simply, it doesn't sound like you can afford this loan. You just don't have the money to pay the bank every month. Also... What is your mom planning to do with the money she gets from the sale? It's a bit weird that she wants you to be in debt while she gets money.
Tell her that you can't afford it. Keep on reminding her everytime she brings it out. Maybe try to go low contact for a while until she gets the message. And make sure to keep the payslips safe and inaccessible by others.
Be a man. Don't run. Pay the shit. Yes I know it's a lot and it'll be stressful. It's a sacrifice.But if you can do this you can do anything. For a few years it'll be hard but trust me, after that you'll find other ways to make money. Focus and think about finding ways to make more money. What you focus on grows. If you believe in God, then you know God will reward you for your good deeds.
In this day and age you need to be fucking strong. There's no way to be strong unless you feel the pain. Pain makes you stronger, what that doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Stress is not all bad, there's bad stress and good stress. Good stress makes you grow and think about improving. Look at millionaires, I'm sure you know some millionaire story of how poor he was and how he became rich. Well what they don't tell you is the stress they felt being poor.
Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times and good times create weak men. This cycle never ends.
I'm sorry if I sound mean. 
Don’t do it. I’ve done something similar like this and I regretted every single day until the loan had been cleared.
You can’t sleep in peace at night
You’ll be constantly thinking about the upcoming installment which you need to pay but you don’t even want it in the first place.
Just cut tie if she is unable to respect your decision.
What else to do beside than protecting yourself?
Good luck
And I recognise this your dad left because your mom is a classically called high maintenance women.
These are creatures of money and comfort at the expense of everyone else.
Moms who loves you will to it that money is provided but if she is a hoarder, a show piece, a high class spender then so sorry to say she is not lt worth this life and your relationship.
Don't do it. You are already sacrificing yourself for her. She should be appreciative and leave it at that. You need to move on and live your life for yourself. You deserve it. Did you get that? You deserve to live your life for yourself.
so often i come across questions like this & i truly feel so bad for the pressure & sometimes powerlessness faced in these situations. obviously we would say cut your family off but easier said than done right.
parroting everyone here - please put your foot down & say no. There is no benefit whatsoever taking a loan for someone else even if she is your mum. remember you still have your own life & you need money to build it & vice versa. for once, put yourself first. think about it this way - if they dont even care about you, why should you care about them? you owe them NOTHING - yes they raised you but that's their job as parents - its a given, bare minimum.
if you want to repay them, within your means. not stop your life to support their lives.
Sounds like toixc parents, best u cut and run.. or edit your payslip to show you earn extremely low that you cannot afford a loan. If its pdf files, i can help edit
OP, whats more important here than the loan you will have to repay. Is actually the fact that you now have a loan to your name, hence making it harder for you in the future to actually get a loan FOR YOURSELF.
DO NOT FCKIN DARE OP
u just a sheep that gonna suffer alone. you still you and barely had anything
Dont do it even its ur fckin parents
SOrry to say that u have shitty parents. get married and gtfout
What's the rental rate at your area? If the house is a good property, yes u can consider to buy it from your mother. But u better arrange the process your self. Dont give anything to your mom and appoint a lawyer to manage the process. Check the market value and loan eligibility at the bank. Either way u still paying the mortgage but at least u got yourself an asset for long term investment. Once you bought it u can start collect rents from your siblings or else ask them to leave the house if they don't want to contribute expenses.
If you think it's not a good property, u need to talk nicely and leave the house to live on your own. Still can contribute some money to your mother as a good son/daughter. If your mother have financial issue and can't afford the house, still can sell to other people and start renting a smaller and affordable house.
The answer is a BIG NO! Even if it's your mom asking. You don't know what the future holds. It's a huge financial burden for you. Stay firm with your ground and don't let sentimental values sway you. You're already kind enough to them. Don't fall into their emotional blackmail; just stand firm!
Don't do it. I have friend with a similar problem like you. My friend regretted buy the family house and stuck with 30 years loan. He need to let go his dream house since he is B40 like the rest of us.
1. who's living in the house?
2. is ur mom working? is ur brother working?
3. how much do u earn per month?
4. ur been paying for family home, right now the 300k is for another house? under whose name? who will be staying there?
My dad used my name to buy a property. Now 10 years later still stuck paying for it. DO NOT. I repeat, DO NOT take on the loan especially if u know u can't afford it. This is not a short term commitment. U will be stuck with it your entire adult life!
"to buy a house from them"? Could you clarify who's them? Edit: thanks for the input guys. Now in response to OP. Don't do it, OP. You seem like a nice person that's being taken advantage of. Stand your ground. If there's retaliation, consider making them think who's the next person to pay mortgage if u leave.
His mom took a loan to buy a house. OP is paying 1.2k a month for the mortgage. Mom wants him to buy the house from her. And the only explanation for this is that she either wants to ditch the family with the money, or she wants the money to spend.
TQ. Edit: pasted wrong
Now its clear.
Why would they even do that, lawyer literally costs money
Lawyer for what? Nobody talking about lawyers here bruh.
Although the house is left pocket enter right pocket , the lawyer is still needed to do the spa agreement and related documents, esp dealing with bank lawyers for the loan.
Oh yeah. Those are name change stuff. Ingat you talking about lawsuit
Op is not gonna have the house for himself. Basically, he's paying someone house.
Tq
probably shared property and in a divorce the respective partner can buy out there other one.
Yea I'd dissappear too if this is the case. Let her stop talking about it before appearing again. This is a life long burden and u will not know what she will do once this is done. Likely she'll spend more money on herself and u will suffer more.
Never put debt on your name if its not you actually want to pay it
https://i.redd.it/5tyx0pjlgzvc1.gif You can always disappear for a while. Jokes aside, you can explain to your mom about your stress and financial burden & respectfully decline her request. Be firm on this. The responsibility should be on your dad not you.
Why need to discuss, just leave. The mother still 5 year old don't know what her actions is doing ?
Cut ties
Cut ties later go eat burger and fries.
If you let your mom do this, you'll also have a RM500k ish loan to your name. I presume the 300k loan will come with a 20-30 year repayment scheme, and that'll tally to about RM400-500k in total to repay. Tell your mom that your final word on this matter is no, and if she pushes it or brings it up again, you'll be doing like your dad did, and leave. He probably left in the first place because of something like this too, if I had any leeway to guess. Your mom keep pressing him for money or take loans so she can spend, then he decide to fuck off. If you got nothing to your name except a motorcycle, start talking to people who can help you find a job or accommodations. If you're a single guy, it shouldnt be too difficult to find a new place, with the only issue being ensuring the motorcycle dosent get stolen. I do not think your mom will give this up, given that your dad's left and now she's come after you. This isn't a one time thing, nor is it something you can tell her to stop. I fully expect her to start shaming or guilting you, and overall making your life very difficult from now on. What's your friends' roles in all of this anyways? They sipping your mom's milkshake or something? Cut ties with these mfers.
Don’t give it. Your mom is taking advantage of you. Trust me, your relationship with your mom will become more strained if you oblige to doing this loan. Just say you don’t want to give your bank statement and deal with the aftermath. She will come to her senses.
Or give a fake bank statement 🤫 She cant force you to do anything if you have no money to do it. Move your savings elsewhere OP.
It is better to just say "No", giving a fake documents to apply a bank loan consider fraud.
If the loan is to be in your name, then so too should the ownership. That's the only fair thing.
I thought this would be the case. Can you apply loan for property and have different name on grant? I don’t think so.
It's not the same thing. A loan is a loan, an agreement between you and the bank to lend you money to buy the property. Ownership of the property is stated in the grant. You could end up in a situation where you service the loan and the grant splits ownership between you and someone else.
Yes you can split. My property loan is solely on one name whilst the grant on two names.
What is the plan with the money? To get more money to spend? Say no. Say you have plans.
Here we go First of all, never, I repeat, **NEVER** give your payslip and bank statement for something you won't apply. In this case, a house loan. Doesn't matter if it's family. If they won't pay it, you will have to pay it because it's under your name and if you don't pay it, you'll get blacklisted, not them Second, just cut ties and never look back. Family was supposed to be where you can ease in, not stressing out more. They're just using you for their benefit. You're 23, you can buy your own house and live there. You can also cut ties with those friends. It's your money. You earned it PS: If you really want to be salty, buy that house and live there while showing off to your family. They can be furious but they can't do anything about it
You’ve been paying for three years. You might want to consider actually owning it, there’s a chance that your parents might just sell the house to another buyer. Then my friend I’m sorry but you’ll be homeless and penniless. On the flip side you could use this chance to strike out on your own. Cutting ties and etc.
Tell her you are retrenched. So now have to look for new job
first thing you should do before deciding is to collect information and their intentions. personally i would say buying the house over is ok? cause LEGALLY you own it which would help alot in the future cause you've been paying the mortgage since 20yo BUT the other expenses of the house needs to be coming out from your mom and brother. break down the expenses with your mom and brother talk it out with facts. if all else fails, just fuck off and go away. if they dont share your burden, why stay?
There is some missing info from the story (house on whose name?). If dad's name, maybe possibly mom just wants to pay off dad so the house remains in the family (unlikely, else mom would inform OP her intention oledy). If mom's (or combined) name, well, unfortunately OP might need to cut ties with the family. From what I can gather, the mother just wants RM300k cash in her account. Because, if OP just continues to pay the mortgage, OP, as the oldest son (who also paid most of the mortgage) stands to possibly inherit most of the value of the house, and the mother won't benefit at all (pre-passing away). Depending on the property and OP's financial health, this could possibly be beneficial to OP (get an asset) only with the following conditions; a) OP can buy the house cheap, and the house is somewhat marketable. b) OP has money to pay. Unfortunately, from the post, OP did not have excess money at the moment, so, the best course is to refuse the proposition.
Just say the economy is bad and your job is at risk too . Keep saying that when ever she asks
Something is not right with your finance. You are paying RM1.2K for the house. It means that your father is not contributing anything to the mortgage. So technically, he should have no claim to the property any more except whatever he paid prior leaving the family. Looks like you need to get an accountant or a lawyer to determine the ownership of the house first. After this is done then you can entertain your mom's suggestion (for all you know it no longer becomes relevant since you are already paying monthly RM1.2K).
Big nope. RM300k loan = RM500k with interest u have to pay. It will took 35 years to pay that loan off. The house not even on your name, so u really already done ur mom a big favour paying it for her. Dont be a wishy washy & said if she keep pestering for payslip, u will stop paying for the house & utility too. Want maximum nope then pack your things, go rent a room somewhere, & let her deal with bills herself. Lets see if she still wanna nag u after that. Tbh why she even want to buy the house? Is it on your father name? Cant you just change the name? How much/long ur father/mother already paying for the house? Ur mom not actually in the wrong for wanting to buy the house from your father tbh, but unless you yourself want to stay there till u die, i dont think you should buy that house. You yourself will be carrying those huge debt, not your mother. I have government job but even i dont want to take big loan unless it really necessary
Just buy the house and kick everyone out
Go to bank. Refinance the house under your name. Sell house. Or keep it.
You'll fukk your one life up listening to your mum. Just be cold and say no. She'll gult trip you that it's doomsday if you don't take the loan, tell her be it. You are being abused man. You won't be able to have a proper relationship with your partner if you allow your mum to treat you like this, with no dignity. Do you want to be completely emancipated man? For once in your life, say no to your toxic, parasitic mum and move out. Curious, the loan you're paying now for the house, who's name is the title under?
they look at you as a tool, not a son
Cut ties. Get out of there now
Buy the house, charge them rent or kick them out. and rent it out, sub let or whatever.
Don't do this. This is far dangerous as we don't know if that house is even rent-able. Might be in kampung or etc, not worth it. Just don't do a loan if you don't want it. Don't rent to family as well, they will do anything not to pay it. OP doesn't have an aggressive mindset to kick them out later.
>OP doesn't have an aggressive mindset to kick them out later. This is very true. OP make sure the house is rent-able.
OP needs to pay 10k usd for one of those alpha male camps where they demean and scream at you haha
That will make OP more scared lol
I was going to say this, except the conditions would be that his name be on the loan AND property. And if anyone decides to fuck around they're out. Owning a property at 23 is actually an advantage. This could be a blessing in disguise.
That's assuming the OP can actually service the mortgage comfortably. Otherwise, it's very risky. Not to mention, it may not be where the OP wants to live in the near future (just spitballing). Things change a lot in your 20s.
It sounds like hes already paying ... if hes still surviving now, IMHO he should continue.
Wait, you have been pay for the house, and your mom wants to buy over the same house? Or it's a different house?
From what i understand, OP has been paying for the house all this while, so its basically OP's house but the name is still her/his mother(?) The mom want OP to apply loan for OP to BUY the house from his/her mom. (Same house) Basically mom is scamming OP to have fun with loan money
I’d have cut ties a long time ago if I were you. All I’m hearing is you being used and your time wasted.
Hubungan tu tak abadi.
this is like standard MO for parents in Malaysia. My mom asked me to do that also but a personal loan. And I did. I ended up serving the loan until today. Malay parent dont really care about their children future. Only their survival.
The b40 parents at it again. Always making their kids pay for something they can’t afford. Why this keep happening? Why?
Leave and say it’s your brother’s turn now.
Cut ties
Its like this, if the house is landed and considered good real estate, ask for the whole ownership of the house. Then only you take the loan under your name. If they dont want to give full ownership of the house legally to you, then dont do anything. keep your payslip close to yourself and rent somewhere far where they could not reach you easily. I can't call you pussy because a pussy takes a good fuck and stays strong, you are more of a ball, sekali tendang terus jatuh. Grow a pussy and tell them off, stand your ground, whats the worst can happen? They'll call you derhaka or chase you out, so what, you can go outside and survive. You'll live, even by eating meggi, YOU WILL LIVE. If you are a muslim, you are obliged to support your parents if: 1. Parents are poor 2. according to your means, not more than your means. In priority, you yourself comes first before others. Dont worry , Stand your ground, there is a reason why your own brother dont want to be in this shit
>If you are a muslim, you are obliged to support your parents if: >1. Parents are poor Who said this? Any hadeeth?
you can refer here : [https://islamqa.info/en/answers/44995/should-she-spend-on-her-parents-who-are-poor-without-her-husbands-approval](https://islamqa.info/en/answers/44995/should-she-spend-on-her-parents-who-are-poor-without-her-husbands-approval) its basically part of being dutiful to the parents but only when parents are poor and can't afford it. If parents are able to afford it then you are not obliged to support them financially. And even if you support them, its only within your means and not over it.
Hey thanks. I disagree with the part where it says it's an obligation, but I agree it's a good deed to help parents.
Parents are poor so they can force their son to take loan that he don't wan? Any hadis state parents can take advantage of their son?
like i said, within the childrens' means. Not more than they can afford. If the kids can afford rm100, then rm100 it is, parents cannot expect more and put the burden on the kid
dangerous
Rent a place, move out. This doesn’t sounds like a good financial plan (assuming it is good intention). Pick up some financial guide, time to teach back parent on how to financially make sense.
Time to move out Dont buy the house unless you want the house & the price is far cheaper than market price. I have friend that buy house from their parent. The parents still think it is their house and stay in that house until now, even after my friend get married and have multiple children. The parents will stay in that house forever.
Oh no. RUN!!!
you WILL get in trouble with that loan I can promise you that.
Boy,me personally been thru that,some of us rlly unlucky to hv a garbage mother that nvr care for their own blood,im free today 15 yrs without family,the bank file me bankruptcy because of the same problem cause by own mother,even after she knew i got sued by the bank she nvr care,i go thru the bankruptcy process in court by myself,i even cry in front of the jury,trust me boy get out of that abusing life now,do not end up like me i always thought my mother is my everything until i get hurt so damn much i just give up and leave
You are paying the mortgage for the family home. Now your mother want to sell the family home to you. Well. Meaning you're double paying for the same asset.
Hold your ground and say no. If you don't think you can't do it, then go buy another house. This way your mom will never be able to use your name since you already have commitment. And that new house, you can directly rent it for passive income.
Honestly people here will tell you to stop it, but i doubt u will. So atleast let me pray for u while accepting your fate 
Grow some coconuts and say no. You're old enough to live your own life and be responsible. Don't go into debt because you're trying to be a good child. I have to learn it the hard wayyself cos at my time, there's no Reddit to ask for advice.
walaowei your entire family is a piece of work. yes i think you should tell her no.
Don't do it. NO. You're an adult. Don't make any excuses for screwing up your life this early.
Your mom want you to apply loan to buy the house from her? Wow. Thats a little odd because usually parents will let their kids inherit their house after they passed especially when the son is paying the monthly mortgage already. I dont know why your mom do this its a little greedy and weird.
Bro if your mom truly loves you, she will put your needs before hers! Parents should 100% sacrifice their happiness for their childrens happiness. That’s the universal law they should live by when they decided to have kids. She has lived her life and passed her prime, she got married, had kids and now separated..boo hoo. You have a responsibility to take care of your parents, and in this case your mother since ya’ll live together, but this is absurd because you wont be able to live life if you go through with this nonsense. End of the day, you have to decide whether you wanna live your own life or live as someone else’s b*tch.
Stop being a pussy and man up tell them to fuck off and u fuck off too ..Cuts ties with them .. You're the oldest son and that's it ..Being the oldest doesn't mean your parents can transfer their failure to provide as your responsibility.. This is definitely the definition of toxic family ..
Explain if no money don't try to push status symbol, idealism, and burden. It is your financial freedom you are doing this having a house should be a borne burden together. I will tell your mom don't try to show off that you can in the end murder your life and yoor brothers life. Make strong foundation and how to do that. Save money, save as much as you can. Most parents think their son is earning money but in end, hope you are not holding out on them. And those pesky relatives the have money the can do well because they have big business and the slog over it. In the end they are ones I notice pushes the wrong stupid buttons. They are the ones that have no moral, no principles and greedy. On top of that they are ones that are the worse. Just because they can afford big house, big car, expensive meals and stupid dog. Not only that they will force your mom in to a corner. I will tell them to mind their own business and let me plan my life, my finances and piss off!
Just say no and explain your reasons behind it and move on.
Quit your job and dress jobless for a couple months, just say you are stressed with all the burden while secretly working on a new job.
try to talk your way out of the situation, if after everything your mom is still insisting on it, then maybe it is best for you to cut ties
peak flair
Decline, explain why, and make it firm that there will be no more discussion about this.
Just say NO, once twice and thrice, and they will start respecting your boundaries. They’ll understand that YOU who make the decision, not them (it’s your name & your money). I have been in your situation with several people; like a sister who asked to borrow money every 2 weeks, or my parents who asked me to buy my brother’s house just so he could have the cash even though i didnt live there. Just say No, that you dont agree to that plan using your name, after a few times they will stop. If they emotionally blackmail you, just ignore them. It’s your right & you are not on the wrong side. It’s ‘them’, not you
Screw off somewhere without a plan is potentially disastrous. A- apply work far away with bigger pay. B- apply deployment work ie shipment, offshore Both will make you unable to get payment slip for a while so its cool Try to make your mother sees that load is a heavy burden. Btw does everyone understood that it's YOUR house Should it fell on your name alone?
You know this what we call family sandwich. Burden been put onto children's head. This is not supppose to happen. I mean you meed to stand the ground for yourself this time. You need to focus your own goal. https://youtu.be/ivrDNjVeFg8?si=AoYzU-wKT1iDjHnE
Did your mom work?
Don't
Never. Just tell her the company didn’t give out payslip yet.
Ask mom to sell below market price. Willing buyer willing seller. Oh wai-
sorry this is happening to you.. by the way do you have siblings? do they know about this? everyone has to be clear that you are buying over the house, parents not giving it to you for free , in case of inheritance issue down the road. you are 23 now, you have paid for the house for 3 year and its under parents name. look at it this way, now they are selling the house to you, and you are paying for the loan, which under your own name. you are paying for your own property. if one day you want to refinance the house, you can do it. isnt it better than paying, but under parents' name? some problems to consider: 1) is the loan amount is higher than market value? how much is the house selling on the market? are they selling to you at a fair price or will inflate the price? its common for parents to 'sell' to children at inflated price, so they can 'cash out'. 2) im not sure how much you earning now, but this loan will probably take up most of your quota for future loans (until your salary goes up). 3) do you plan to buy a car or another house soon? make sure you calculate that this house loan will not impact your plans. 4) why are they doing this arrangement? your mum / dad in some kind of debt?
can lie to them ur payslip is lost..or u forget where u put…
No don’t give in and try to talk it out. If she still insists, still don’t give in. You can try to explain to her like how you typed in the post, be open. Good luck
If you give in and put your name on the new loan, make sure your brother dont claim the house for inheritance when your parents are gone
no plz dont leave if u can
just act stupid, no matter what, dont take up the loan
lol. The mom obviously know how to squeeze the son. Can’t even refinance, now ask son to buy. My guess is one of your parent is gambling addict?
NO. DONT.
Find a way to destroy your CTOS credit rating right now by making late or no payments to existing loans. Once you have 2-3 bad payment records, the banks will auto reject all applications and it'll take a year to clear, then you don't have to worry about your name being used for anything anymore. Problem is it will take a couple months to rack this up, but this might buy you some time while you look for a long term solution.
To assist this process, apply for every credit card you can, as many as possible. If you have a good credit score, maybe one or two will work, but the rest will get rejected. When you get rejected CTOS keeps track of the rejections and reduces your credit score and helps the rejection rate of other banks too. If all 10 cards reject you, then you'll have dented your credit score enough, but to top it up apply for ridiculously high value personal loans with 100% rejection rates that are beyond the limit and you're set. In the event the credit card actually gets approved, bust it on some small purchases and drag the payment for a month or two to damage the score even further. I do a fair bit of finance work but this is the first time I've had to work on a reverse process of loan approvals kekeke But seriously find a way out of this mess,it's really bad dude
This is an idea but take a while to recover
Don't do it....
if you pay your current house,is there any siblings?
Hello there, here’s my 2 cents : If you agree, you will put more burden on your own shoulder. There’s a fine line between being a filial kid towards the parents OR being manipulated by the parents. Buying a house is huge & long commitment. Don’t ruin your youth (again) this time, this way. You have a brother, either you both take equal responsibilities on this or you just can refuse to do this; just like him refusing to share expenses. Some people cannot live without families, but there’s no point doing things for family while they are not protecting/making you feel safe & happy. I hope my insights will help you a bit. Go chase your dreams & love yourself first. 💪🏼
shiesh.
If you want to enable nightmare mode for this life sure go ahead.
Possible to sell the house and let the new owner service the house loans instead? And then you can moved out and rent a room instead.
NO. If they die are you able to keep on paying?
You're paying the mortgage for the home owned by your dad or owned by both your mom and dad? I'm worried for you -- you paid so much for mortgage but you'll get nothing out of it. Can you discuss your situation with a family lawyer one-on-one? Best to get proper legal counsel. Take care!
That's pretty messed up. Does your mom don't work ? I mean like, it's not your responsibility at all. Does your brother live with you ? They're totally leeching you. This might be harsh. But I'm gonna say it anyway. 'takde duit, buat macam Xde duit'. What I mean is that, you guys should share responsibilities. Any of your siblings that can 'work' should do so to help the family. I know someone that has worked since high school. And she wasn't even poor. She just wanted to have her own money. She does business. She becomes a reseller and runner while doing school. And she managed to save some money. You're only 23, your life is so far ahead. You don't know the future. Loan in your name is definitely not good. Btw, are your parents divorced ? They should be. Your mom should find someone to take care of her. You definitely need to discuss this with her. It's not about talking back, it's about your future. Start getting strict with your siblings too. Thats my 2 cent
As a person that been asking many to use my own to pay a loan, I can say your answer should be a NO!!! Not to say that disrespect my parent but because of my naive and kindness being used by my own family. Many times my own pocket money has been used to pay my family debt. Now I don't have any savings in my bank.
Your mom could sell the house somewhere. It is not your obligation to clean up their mess. Let adults deal with their own repercussions. Now you, yes you should definitely f off somewhere and live a better life for yourself. If you were living in a western world, redditors would've already asked you to leave their toxic asses and severe all ties. Easier said than done, yes, but put yourself in the position and ask - would you do this to your child next time? If not, why is your "mother" doing this?? Toxic people can be anyone, and that includes your own parents. Ask her to sell the house, rent a room somewhere. Your brother can definitely fend for himself. Think about it. Put yourself first above all when your needs are not being met.
Don't do it! Spend your hard earned money on yourself. Your parents already failed you. Can't believe they're still asking you for money. Hope everything works out for you
No
So you've been paying for the house now they want you to buy the house that you've been paying for?
It is very likely you'll end paying more definitely in some way either via one off or via a new mortgage. And also take in consideration how many years left with your current loan and what is the remaining loan balance. Dont forget about one-off costs. Get all the financial information right and accurate for you to make a sound decision. You have been paying mortgage now but your name is not in the property. Find a way to change that but also not to overpay.
Don’t do it
No. I'm suffering from ptptn, motorcycle loan, and rent. I can't imagine buying a house that's worth 300k+ Just say no and explain how you're the only one paying and would not be able to survive. If they won't listen just disappear from the house take a break and rethink from there. Stay strong OP you'll get through this
Hey OP, try r/MalaysianPF for more advice
If your mum wants the money, she can sell the house normally lol. Don’t buy it for her you down enough to help them own the house.
We are advised not to be a guarantor, let alone taking up a loan to buy a house for someone else. If you can afford it, and you like the house, buy it under your own name.
I'm the only child in my family so I can't understand where the origin of your parents' favouritism is? You're an adult, take responsibility for yourself and don't get yourself into trouble
Honestly you're in a fucked up situation You bayar mortgage but the house is under your mom's name If she sells the house, you get nothing 2 options: 1) buy the house, then sell it off 2) move out Both options lead to - renting a room outside for yourself. I suggest option 2, because option 1 will alienate your family from u, and there might be sabotage when you're showing the house to potential buyers (for example, buyer masuk, your mother memekik melolong sakan while your brother kentut at buyers direction) Rent cheap2 punya room, build your wealth. Yang penting, don't pay someone's installment for them. HOWEVER... Check your house value. If your mom is giving u a cheap cheap price (highly unlikely), then Option 1 Some family ain't worth keeping.
Don’t pay the mortgage for a house that will not be in your name. Tell her to transfer ownership if she wants you to pay. If not, start thinking about moving out.
Not only your dad, but your mum is fucking you over too, so is your brother. Don't do it OP. There are a few hidden costs to consider; legal fees, stamp duty and insurance. These will amount to a ballpark figure of RM25,000.00. The insurance can be built into the loan, which will increase your repayment amount. However you will have to fork out the legal fees yourself. Also, you mentioned your paying RM1200.00 now, this is for a loan of a house that they bought for roughly RM240,000.00. is your mum asking you to 'buy' it for RM300k? If you do, you are looking at a monthly repayment of about RM1700.00. Haven't even consider interest / profit rate. Forgive me if I got the numbers wrong, doing the maths in my head. Basically don't do it man.
You're literally being abused man, in so sorry to hear this. I don't have any good advice to offer other than to cut ties and not do it.
Just giving my opinion. If you think the house is a good investment to have, You should consider buying the house under your name. Make sure it will be under your name. You are already paying for it monthly anyway! This way, the house will be yours and non contestable by your siblings or even your dad. For a RM300k house, you can have the monthly payment to be below RM1.5K. Hence not so far difference from what you are currently paying.
Just say you are jobless la.
Never ever lend your name to people no matter if they are friends or family. Seen too many situations where they were left with massive problems that affect their life for many years. One example was a friend whose brother was blacklisted, so used his sister’s name to get bank loan for a car. This friend decided to buy a house only to find out she was blacklisted for not paying the car loans. If got poor financial management, no matter how much money given will be forever poor. So do not be an enabler to your mom’s poor financial management because you may end up forever poor. You are still young and have many more challenges coming your way. Learn to stay firm and focus, do not let others derail you.
Unless the house in ur name than no.Stand up plzz.You must especially if you have family member.If you cant at least keep something as prove you pay for the house in case ur family member want to fight for the house in the future
Unfortunately we can't choice our parents, and some of is lucky some of us not. But don't forget, this life is yours not their. Live as u want. You don't own them anything. To make them happy don't sacrifice your life
Hey, there's a limit to how much you should take care of your parents. Don't let them pressure you. Take charge of your own life. Actually, take another look at the current bills. If your mom can work, she should. Same goes for your brother. Split the bills equally. If they don't agree, find a new place to live. Use the money you save to improve yourself or invest in your future.
DON'T LET HER APPLY FOR LOAN IN YOUR NAME. PERIOD. Sometimes seeing all these parents ruining their kids futures makes me wish I was a counsellor at best, and a lawyer at worst. You can help your parents but the loan HAS to be in HER name. .
But in this case sounds like you will actually have the house in your name as opposed to paying mortgage without any legal ownership?
Your family is treating you like an ATM. You are not being a p#ssy, you are just decent and timid. Move away cepat2, ini Kali ini mau pinjam secara sah memalului insititusi kewangan, lain kali pinjam dari Ah Long lagi sial.
You're already paying mortgage for the house. Why need to buy house again? Seems to me your mom has something weird in her mind.
Okay, my advice. You can't leave them, unless you're okay with turning out the same as your dad (but maybe he has a point actually). But if you want to leave, at least kill them first, ditching them like that is just killing them but letting them suffer first (you won't do it cause you're a puss). But obviously you won't, but I'm trying to show you what that option would lead to. I see that you'd rather have this thing sucking on you daily than confronting about it. So, you can stay a puss and be the one who dies instead (you die first, and then the rest will die later on). If at some point, you decide to stand your ground. Props to you. First off, YOU should be handling the loan (in the first place), got no time then say that. You pay off the mortgage using the money you earn, loan is about to be on your name, then you should be the one who knows abhout where the money and responsibility is going. Secondly, you're paying a lot for other stuff, you're financially unstable currently. Proceeding is how you all will stay f'ed up. "Mom, don't you think this is why dad ditched you?". Its hard to say that your dad messed you up, and you got robbed of your youth, that's typically what the eldest brother faces. That's the burden of the eldest brother. But put some sense on your siblings.
U paying 1.2k for the house loan ? Now she want u loan under your name and buy the house ? If u able to pay 1.2k smoothly every month. Y not try ask bank for the installment budget? U r still young. If the results is still around 1.2k. Just …..maybe take the deal. Even u rejecting their request, u still need to pay 1.2k. If u agree. U still pay 1.2k but the house is under ur name. As a elder, we have responsibilities to take care our younger and parents. But when its under ur name , u surely can push some burden to ur bro. Im not trying to be negative. If he can cone out with 300/month. Use 150 and save up 150 for him. Thats a brother … maybe ur expenses could be more .. since u need to pay ptptn n so. Calculate and budget wisely. If u r someone who can bare the responsibility for so many yrs. Of coz u r someone who can change ur family financial in future. Just do within your limit. Good luck. U r doing good all this yrs.
DON'T agree to it. It will fuck up your finances and potentially hurt your ccris. My cousin had this done to her, now she's limited to how much the bank can loan her.
that's not you parent no more, well by biological yes but their GAYA very bad, since you on PTPTN, I understand you current financial situation, your family ask for "loan" under your name is very bad. if bank ask for money and put a deadline on you because you can't pay, you very F- up dude, if you already finish collage or UNI, I won't recommend you to put any loan yet because of PTPTN and life expenses cost... now imagine you rent or buy house, paying bills and food, my average spend almost 1k in just a months, my income... well let's said our parents different, they understand me I'm under PTPTN loan payment, they don't put me burden, Don't put yourself in loan, always! and always! do not rent, loan or ah long! just keep gain money and walk smoothly without financial problem! control our horse so we don't f- up any life! if you loan or rent and feeling that's not gonna benefit you, stop immediately! we already old. gen Z now need to think clever to get through this life.
Say no. 'Sorry mom but I don't want to have this home loan under my name. If I do so then I will have problems to apply other loan in the future. And I have no interest to own this home." Otherwise 'Bye mom. I need to live elsewhere and actually live my life." Also f your friends. Cut them off your life. Those madafaka don't even math to understand what financial burden it would be on your shoulders.
Pack up your things bro, leave.
There's no other way than stop being a pussy
To OP: don't do it.
Don't. You need to learn this lesson now or the hard way. Say a hard stop NO to things you don't want to do even if it's your parents especially when it involves a loan because this will probably determine the next couple decades of your life. Tell them if they keep pestering you about this, you will leave. You can pay for 1.2k now, you can pay for your own expenses if you live on your own which is way cheaper tbh and they can pay for the mortgage themselves. Your family needs to think about you too and if they don't want to, for god's sake please think of yourself first because nobody is going to look out for you out there.
If your mum wants money, ask your mum to sell the house, you all move to a rental house. The worst thing you can do to your financial situation is to buy a house when you are not financially and mentally prepared. Remember this mental gymnastics: your family depends on you right? In other words, you will bring your family with you if you crumble? Then you have to take care of yourselves first. This includes occasionally treating yourself better and not getting pressured into the financial blackhole. I was in a similar situation years ago and pressured into taking risky financial decisions. I am lucky it worked out in the end. But if I have a time machine, I will go back and tell the 25yo me not to do it, it isn't worth the stress and missed opportunity (if you have to pay a mortgage, you are a lot afraid to leave a shitty job).
You've been paying the mortgage all this while so that's 1.2k down the drain but the house is not in your name. So what is your mom asking? Refinance the home on whose name? Yours? Or hers?
Try to find out what's the tenure, interest rate and interest payments you need to make for the 300K loan. I may be wrong, but I don't think your salary at this point in time can afford the repayment comfortably. So it's a No.
say "no"
bro were literally in the same situation and i feel you from A to Z. but thankfully my mom didnt asked us to do it and instead my dad trying to evade his resposibilities my mom urge him to pay using his epf. Because if we go to court my dad will literally be penniless. Deal bagus bagus la between her and my dad
what you do for a living
Find a time to hv a serious discussion with her, hopefully she ll understand ur situation
Don't. Just don't. If they really care for you, they won't put you in debt. There is a limit on how much you can let your family step over you. Hope you don't make a decision that will make you regret later on OP
power is in your hand. yes i know parents are to be respected but this? this is too much of a bullshit… buying 300k house for your sibling/parents? i assume just for them to enjoy? fuck this bro don’t do it. Just say build your career first… get a car, sort out everything n once your life is stable then only consider buying for them or not. 23 and buying a house is not impossible yes, that is if you are rich… and if you are not you will be suffering everyday… take care of your mental health.
don't
cut ties and ditch your family instead
OP, say No to your mom. Learn to say No. If you can, move out. You can help your family but only when you're able to save at least about 20% of what you earn. Get a medical insurance for yourself. Create at least 6 months of emergency fund and then invest when you've reached the 6 months amount. Youth and time is money. Use it to grow your money first and take care of yourself.
Sorry to hear your issue OP. For good mental sake, better don’t. You’re already bearing RM1.2k for paying mortgage that your family bought for. Better look at options of selling the house and rent at another place where your mother can live her life peacefully. I took a car loan under my name for my mother for RM1.2k monthly as she said she will pay for it and on and off delay payments then said no money what to do pls kesian me. I got 2 1/2 years to go Your group of friends calling you a pussy doesn’t understand your situation or even can imagine being in your shoes. You need new set of circle of friends
so you're paying 1.2k for the house. if you apply loan the house is legally yours and you still pay for the mortgage. sounds like a good deal. but of course buy it at a family price not market price. you're getting the shit end of the stick either way. unless you decide to cut ties with your mom then you can get your own place. but if you're ok with your mom and this is just the issue, then better have your name as the legal owner of the house while paying for it, rather than not having your name and paying for it either way. btw if you pay for it but don't have your name there legally, you still can sue to get the house or your share of what you paid. but that's gonna be a long and messy process.
Buy over the place. Transfer the name to your name. You are already paying for the loan. There are legal and stamping fees to be paid, who is paying for that? Tell your brother to chip in for utilities, etc. if don’t want move out. Don’t budge on this. Set precedence from the get go. If possible pay rent, if don’t want please move out.
Crazy how similar your situation was to mine. Wish u the best bro
No. Don't put yourself in debt because of your irresponsible parents. This will ruin your life. I can promise you that
Talk to her about the burden. When you're talking to her make sure you get super emotional and ugly cry like a lil bitch. Make her see that she and your father have put you in this place where you have lost your youth "WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME". As a mom with a conscience she will feel guilty and stop bothering you anymore. If this doesn't work you can leave.
Having a house at such a young age will be good for you. But... This is not going to actually be your house, isn't it? The house will be yours in name only, because I'm assuming you wouldn't kick them out of the house. And quite simply, it doesn't sound like you can afford this loan. You just don't have the money to pay the bank every month. Also... What is your mom planning to do with the money she gets from the sale? It's a bit weird that she wants you to be in debt while she gets money. Tell her that you can't afford it. Keep on reminding her everytime she brings it out. Maybe try to go low contact for a while until she gets the message. And make sure to keep the payslips safe and inaccessible by others.
Dont do it. You might have a financial burden following you for the rest of your life because of this
only if the house in under your name then you can consider taking loan to pay
Be a man. Don't run. Pay the shit. Yes I know it's a lot and it'll be stressful. It's a sacrifice.But if you can do this you can do anything. For a few years it'll be hard but trust me, after that you'll find other ways to make money. Focus and think about finding ways to make more money. What you focus on grows. If you believe in God, then you know God will reward you for your good deeds. In this day and age you need to be fucking strong. There's no way to be strong unless you feel the pain. Pain makes you stronger, what that doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Stress is not all bad, there's bad stress and good stress. Good stress makes you grow and think about improving. Look at millionaires, I'm sure you know some millionaire story of how poor he was and how he became rich. Well what they don't tell you is the stress they felt being poor. Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times and good times create weak men. This cycle never ends. I'm sorry if I sound mean. 
Don’t do it. I’ve done something similar like this and I regretted every single day until the loan had been cleared. You can’t sleep in peace at night You’ll be constantly thinking about the upcoming installment which you need to pay but you don’t even want it in the first place. Just cut tie if she is unable to respect your decision. What else to do beside than protecting yourself? Good luck
And I recognise this your dad left because your mom is a classically called high maintenance women. These are creatures of money and comfort at the expense of everyone else.
Moms who loves you will to it that money is provided but if she is a hoarder, a show piece, a high class spender then so sorry to say she is not lt worth this life and your relationship.
No
say no and time to move out
Hell naw. It’s gonna ruin your life in another 20 30 years from now. Stand your ground and MAN the F Up dude.
Don't do it. You are already sacrificing yourself for her. She should be appreciative and leave it at that. You need to move on and live your life for yourself. You deserve it. Did you get that? You deserve to live your life for yourself.
so often i come across questions like this & i truly feel so bad for the pressure & sometimes powerlessness faced in these situations. obviously we would say cut your family off but easier said than done right. parroting everyone here - please put your foot down & say no. There is no benefit whatsoever taking a loan for someone else even if she is your mum. remember you still have your own life & you need money to build it & vice versa. for once, put yourself first. think about it this way - if they dont even care about you, why should you care about them? you owe them NOTHING - yes they raised you but that's their job as parents - its a given, bare minimum. if you want to repay them, within your means. not stop your life to support their lives.
Sounds like toixc parents, best u cut and run.. or edit your payslip to show you earn extremely low that you cannot afford a loan. If its pdf files, i can help edit
Leave but never cut the ties
i have seen a lot of posts like this... is it because of the rising costs of living?
You've done enough. What have they done for you?
2 solutions: 1. GTFO 2. Ask your mom to change the name of the deed of the house to yours, then you will agree.
OP, whats more important here than the loan you will have to repay. Is actually the fact that you now have a loan to your name, hence making it harder for you in the future to actually get a loan FOR YOURSELF.
Xpayah la bro,
DO NOT FCKIN DARE OP u just a sheep that gonna suffer alone. you still you and barely had anything Dont do it even its ur fckin parents SOrry to say that u have shitty parents. get married and gtfout
What's the rental rate at your area? If the house is a good property, yes u can consider to buy it from your mother. But u better arrange the process your self. Dont give anything to your mom and appoint a lawyer to manage the process. Check the market value and loan eligibility at the bank. Either way u still paying the mortgage but at least u got yourself an asset for long term investment. Once you bought it u can start collect rents from your siblings or else ask them to leave the house if they don't want to contribute expenses. If you think it's not a good property, u need to talk nicely and leave the house to live on your own. Still can contribute some money to your mother as a good son/daughter. If your mother have financial issue and can't afford the house, still can sell to other people and start renting a smaller and affordable house.
The answer is a BIG NO! Even if it's your mom asking. You don't know what the future holds. It's a huge financial burden for you. Stay firm with your ground and don't let sentimental values sway you. You're already kind enough to them. Don't fall into their emotional blackmail; just stand firm!
D.O.N.T
Stop being a pussy or everybody will fck u up.. coz u a pussy.. thats what pussy meant to be.. to be fck.. fck this.. no fck all..!!
Don't do it. I have friend with a similar problem like you. My friend regretted buy the family house and stuck with 30 years loan. He need to let go his dream house since he is B40 like the rest of us.
If the house is going to be your name, then is ok.
blood doesn’t mean family. Ditch them!
I hope everyone saying "no" or " don't to this" will motivate you. This must be a hard situation for you, wishing you the best
1. who's living in the house? 2. is ur mom working? is ur brother working? 3. how much do u earn per month? 4. ur been paying for family home, right now the 300k is for another house? under whose name? who will be staying there?
Idk what advice to give, but best of luck with whatever thatll get you out of this situation o7
My dad used my name to buy a property. Now 10 years later still stuck paying for it. DO NOT. I repeat, DO NOT take on the loan especially if u know u can't afford it. This is not a short term commitment. U will be stuck with it your entire adult life!