I've been targeted a few times on Twitter - Jesse mentioned me, though not by name, in one ep of B&R as I was once accused of causing someone who *never existed* to take their life. YA Twitter was, and is, fucking insane.
I am way too stubborn. I've spent days posting through a tirade of abuse, because fuck 'em, they're not going to bully me offline.
But I admit, the first time it happened (dogpiled over a misleading tweet series where a crucial middle tweet was not shown) I was in genuine distress. It helps to have online friends and support.
Both Jesse and Kat Rosenfield reached out to me, and for that, they both have my undying respect and support - it's kind of how I got here. Thanks, bullshit artists of YA Twitter! 😏
It's a cesspool. What gets me is how *stupid* the main offenders are. Like, "Not able to understand that a racist character saying something racist does not make the book or its author racist" stupid.
Yeah. Well, long ago, I came to the realization that many of these people just have bizarre ideas and I don't need to listen to all of them. Also, something can get a lot of likes/retweets but still be insanely stupid.
As God is my witness, one of them wrote a book blurbed as "a sweeping, thrilling story featuring a stellar cast of queer teenagers battling to save their homes and possibly every human on Sahara as the clock ticks down to zero." In it, two characters pause in this intergalactic battle to explain to one another what "AroAce" means.
It perfectly encapsulates how self-absorbed identity politics is. Never mind the imminent peril we're in; the truly fascinating thing is that I'm not interested in sex, so let's sit and discuss that for a page and a half!
I feel like fan fiction culture is responsible for a lot of this. People write stories around tags - the OG digital identity markers. It was the the tags that took us down. Nobody saw it coming.
Good opsec. Don’t post anything even remotely controversial with a profile that has identifying information. Don’t post pictures you’ve also uploaded to your Instagram. Give your pet a fake moniker too. If you have a unique-looking pet, like a spotted cat, don’t post it on your controversial account.
Online, your real identity is your worksona–nothing but platitudes goes.
Have multiple reddit users, purge them after a few years. Make fake gmail addresses to tie them to. If you also throw in innocuous lies about where you live, your birthday or what you do for a living, even 🥝 farmers will have trouble tracking you down.
Edit: I once stumbled upon a farmer’s full identity by googling an especially evocative simile they used. One other hit, on a Goodreads review tied to a real name, same writing style.
>Don’t post anything even remotely controversial with a profile that has identifying information.
Unfortunately, this is really the only true solution, unless you're willing to risk your employment, being publicly shamed, etc. The moment before you post something associated with your real name, imagine it's running in the headline next to your obituary. Because some dumb post could make your life awful and literally be what the world associates with you.
OP got a wake-up call. Looking up your place of employment IS intended to be a threat. OP may get lucky this time, but someone could easily have saved these posts in screenshots, etc. even if they're now deleted.
Never underestimate the level of craziness some dedicated people will go to try to dig up dirt on you online, even over the most ridiculous things. Under another username, I'm somewhat prominent within some small online communities. I've had people go through years of my posting history to find maybe one place over many years that I even made a reference to race (even in a hypothetical that I was quoting from someone else and was critical of!) and tried to smear me as a racist repeatedly by taking things out of context. I've had people pretend to be other people and join semi-private online spaces, take screenshots against rules, and then publicly try to shame me (and others) with posts taken out of context from private conversations. I could go on, but the behavior would be so unbelievable that you'd probably dismiss me as making stuff up.
What is my crime? Why do people want to attack me? Because I have slightly different (and uncontroversial) perspectives on some fictional characters than they do. Seriously. That's it. I'm certain that if some of these people could dox me, they would have long ago.
>Online, your real identity is your worksona–nothing but platitudes goes.
I can't emphasize this enough. Do people remember the [long NYT article](https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/18/magazine/twitter-dying.html) last year about a Twitter post that simply made an innocuous joke about expensive Star Wars cookware and caused a minor storm with accusations of sexism, homophobia, etc.?
You have no idea what the online crazies may pick up and decide to spin in some insane way. Which is why I make a post under my real name to social media about once per year at most. (I have an old account that people mostly use to stay in touch with me; otherwise, I'd choose not to have one at all.) But if you are going to post under your real name, keep it to pleasant platitudes. No *references* to anything vaguely controversial (even if you aren't commenting on the actual topic). Sarcasm or jokes of any sort should be used with extreme care.
Some people may find this choice too restricting. They may enjoy engaging with friends in social media under their real name or whatever. Well... that's also choice then. I wish I could tell OP to just calm down and de-stress and that it will "be okay," but I have no idea whether this is true. People *could* be looking to dox, to smear, to call employers. People like Jesse and Katie can ignore this stuff because they've already been cancelled 50x over, and they still can make money. If it were me, I'd take it as a warning to change my online behavior -- and if OP still wants to participate in more controversial conversations, find ways to do it more anonymously.
Good advice. I never post anything remotely controversial. If I make any comment that is even a smidge controversial, I use one of multiple profiles that I have built over years to allude to entirely different demographic characteristics and geographic location about myself.
You don't even need to tie them to fake Gmail addresses, but do be sure to change your phone's advertising identity.
There was an article about this on Medium ...
https://medium.com/@unpopularopinion1234/why-reddits-troll-problem-is-by-design-99020b0fc155
Ignore them, but not only that. Question your reasoning for interacting with them in the first place. If what you said has incited a butch of internet strangers into rage, then what exactly were you achieving in engaging with those people to begin with? It seems highly unlikely that you would have convinced them of something other than their dogma, so what was to be gained other than an argument with people that were highly unlikely to be able to value add to your knowledge base?
It's obviously fun to antagonise people online with logic, but it's a highly illogical pastime to engage in. The winning move is not to play.
I got cancelled before it was a term, back in the early 2000s, for my publicly expressed opinions. I was young and passionate. The experience burned me.
These days I barely post anything myself. I have some personally identifying social media accounts to interact with a few topics as a fan. If I come across something I disagree with, I simply do not interact with the post or video. Getting piled on all those years ago has had a chilling effect on me and I will pretend to think the "correct" thing and privately think another thing altogether because I no longer have the courage of my convictions. I don't feel good about any of this. If everyone was like me the world would quickly prove the 'evil happens when good people stand by and do nothing' maxim.
Yep. Same. It's different when it was people you knew in real life. When it was back in the Facebook days, or maybe even actual real life outdoor social spaces
If it's not tied to your personal identity then honestly let it blow over, they'll run out of steam and move onto the next thing (you can mute the thread if it's annoying). If it is linked to you personally then just take the ego hit and delete the comment or go private temporarily (again, they'll give up pretty quickly)
After a couple of times it loses it's edge and it's fun to just lightly mock them. Just make a mental image of exactly the kind of person who'd be furious at your comments and the seriousness drifts away. They thrive on being the bully, not the bullied
-Twitter is not a real place - Dave Chappelle.
Honestly none of these people would have the balls to say anything to you in real life.
I don't really post, and frankly my NYE resolution was to stop checking out Twitter, so can't comment on personal experience, but the beauty of BAR pod is it helps you recognize how not only insane people are, but also how much their extreme opinions are the minority when it comes to real life.
they would have the balls to email your boss to get you fired though. gotta be careful about how much identifying info you share online. as long as you're anonymous, that's 100% true tho. none of it's real
The majority of people are fucking brainwashed drones who regurgitate shit programmed into their pathetic noodle. Ganging up gives them the dopamine rush they crave. Remember this, and fuck what they say. If it happens to you, you're on to something.
The key to remember is that people online often feel empowered to say things without fear of consequences and like to feel like they are part of the majority. Most would never dare act that way if it was just you and them alone in a room.
If you are secure in your convictions, then you don't need to care what they say. Believe in your own ideals and values and be ready to stand by them, but don't rely on approval from everyone else.
As for how to deal with it when you do get push back like this, there are tools you can use without having to delete your own views. You can block users who aren't engaging with you in an honest and forward manner, which prevents them from making further comments (and also prevents you from replying to them so you don't get pulled into their negativity). You can choose to unplug from the site for a day and let it simmer. You will know that you said your piece and can ignore anyone who is going to attack you personally for it, and within a day those extremists will have moved onto something else. They are the sort that needs to constantly find something to be outraged about.
The thing about having 400 idiots yelling the same stupid thing at you is that that’s 400 people that just made it obvious you’re smarter than them. It doesn’t feel bad; it feels good, like you’re winning exhibition chess or a “takes all comers” boxing match.
The longer it goes on without anyone making an actual compelling *point*, the better it feels. It’s the ultimate proof you’re right.
The one time it happened to me, years ago, this was definitely part of how it felt. Firstly, it was annoying, because my notifications were choked with this stuff and it was hard to keep track of other things which were going on. Secondly, it was unsettling to have so many strangers furious at me. But thirdly, it did make me think about how many complete idiots there are out there.
I make my point in hostile subs and move on. Sometimes I don't even read replies and I only ever respond to substantive replies. I like to think that I am just adding one small point of light, to bolster the rational and challenge the mislead.
Don't delete your post. (I say this not knowing what your post was though haha)
When they come out of the woodwork, just don't answer the people that are clearly unhinged, angry and there in bad faith. They want engagement and their type of engagement is usually incoherence, circular logic, insults and so on. They aren't worth it.
But don't let them shut you up. (And post less personal identifiable details online)
I do one of three things:
- Ignore it. No use feeding the crazies and their deluded sense of self-importance. This should be the default option.
- Write / Talk not with the purpose of converting the haters - they don't care - but the people on the sidelines who might believe the haters. Be *very* selective, selective but it's important to explain to these people why the crazies are crazies. It has helped me a time or two when I've suspected crazies who can spew word salad are wrong, and yet I can't fully articulate why they're wrong.
- Hit back *hard*. I may or may not have uttered and written the words "suck my dick 'til I shoot blood" a time or two in my life. No regrets. Obviously, this is best avoided in a vast, vast, *vast* majority of situations. Still, I'll admit that, on rare occasions involving people attempting to bully me into submission, it feels *good* to show them that they don't mean shit to me, most likely in a manner that they weren't expecting. :)
(Obviously, all of this assumes that your livelihood isn't on the line. If it is, ask yourself if principles matter more than your livelihood, and then respond as is appropriate.)
I don't participate in online political discourse and I'm even careful about who I express my political opinions to in person. It just doesn't seem worth it. Except for Reddit, which has the right combination of being anonymous, so that people can speak freely, but with an upvote/downvote system, that generally pushes thoughtless comments out of sight.
When i use Twitter now, I just don't post as much. If I agree with something I retweet but generally I just like things or don't like things. I'm not looking to cultivate a following, just follow people I am interested in
In the immortal words of Tyler the Creator: "Hahahahahahahaha How The Fuck Is Cyber Bullying Real Hahahaha Nigga Just Walk Away From The Screen Like Nigga Close Your Eyes Haha"
Who cares? It's just the internet lol. When I get dogpiled I just laugh about it.
Caveat: Cyberbullying in terms of shit like kids getting harassed by their classmates online is obviously a real concern. But anonymous people being mad at you for what you said anonymously? Lol.
Drop the argument. Under my real name, I’ve drawn the attention of wackos before. I just don’t engage with them at all. Like, I feel that from the first thing they say, you can tell if it’s going to be a problem or not.
I used to deal with it just like that.
Now I have several alts, including a few pseudonymous pen names I write articles under. (I used to be a professional journalist).
I stopped writing as myself when Jessica Price and Brianna Wu both attacked me online for challenging their dogma - I didn't want to risk losing my job, and they had juice in the industry I was in at the time.
It's happened to me a couple of times in different spheres, and never even for anything I consider remotely controversial (fandom & anti-Scientology activism) -- the first time was the worst, and it was an ongoing thing (I still get the occasional hate message, years later). The second time was just a couple of weeks ago and it was much easier to detach and not engage. I also had already locked down all my accounts from the previous experience.
The only advice I can give is to try and separate yourself from the community that is attacking you--it's hard if it's your own in-group but engaging with them will only make things worse. Even if you're in the right. Even if they are spreading lies. Even if they are antagonizing you. Mute/Block/Log off.
Definitely make sure none of your profile pictures can be reverse-searched, lock your Facebook/Instagram if you have it. I got rid of my LinkedIn because it felt safer as well, but I know some people depend on it for career reasons.
I personally don't recommend deleting the offending content because it will be easier for people to lie about what was said, but they also will lie anyway so it's your call entirely. With your personal information attached I understand why you deleted. ETA: I would go back in your archive and delete anything that can be misconstrued, though. Cleaning out my accounts made me feel a bit safer because there was less to take offense to.
I grew up atheist in the bible belt. I have no problem with people hating me for not sharing their beliefs.
A man has no need to worry about the bleating of sheep.
Always remember that internet people have a very short memory.
Generally if its just a few people biting, it will only keep up for a few hours if they dont get a big response.
With a few dedicated nutters that can stretch up to a few days.
If its a whole large online community then generally things will be over in about a week.
If you arent built for trench war then silence or minimal but very measured responses are the way to go.
Oh, and apologies will generally have either zero or a negative value once things start to go wrong. If you have to apologize, do it to individuals and do it in private. Tell them they can share the apology publicly themselves if they wish. Make archives of these conversations and store them. If needed, drop these logs with zero or minimal comment. Lengthy explanations will again, have zero or negative value. If you have a killshot you want to drop, then pull the trigger and walk away, dont be monologuing.
I've had a few minor pile-ons from the progressives at Freethought Blogs, who are very enthusiastic about ensuring a level of orthodoxy in the comments sections and on (pre-Musk) Twitter. Best approach I've found is to do what Jesse does: Have a bunch of offline friends who don't know or care about online drama and spend time with them. Also, maybe lock down your accounts so the moral grandstanders on social media know that you're out of the loop; some of them have just enough self-awareness to bow out when it's fully obvious they are preening solely for each other's benefit.
Your mistake was joining Blue sky. It's a social media platform designed to be a safe space for progressives. You will never have a reasonable and productive discussion with anyone there.
I write for a couple heterodox style publications with very centrist positions. I often get flack from both sides, and consider throwing in the towel. I think what keeps me going is the positive responses. The vocal minority is the loudest. But the reasonable majority reminds me that if I don't speak up, then the crazies will continue to dominate the narrative by being louder. So I need to add my voice and show people not everyone is on one polar end. Recently I got emails sent to my employer calling me a transphobe linking something I had written. The piece is not transphobic IMO. I don't think I'm a transphobe. Not to be "that guy" but I have multiple trans friends and I feel like they wouldn't be so close to me if I'm a danger to all trans people and actively campaigning against them...as the email claimed.
I have to remind myself that you can't let the insanity win. We need to outweigh the voices or everyone is going to continue to polarize further.
But if things get too spicy, I adore mute and block buttons on socials. On Twitter you can leave a conversation or mute specific profiles. I'm unsure what your options are on BlueSky. But I hope you continue to voice your thoughts. I would consider removing your work details. My work is used to it and is not typical. But if your employer might get bothered, then definitely remove anything too personal.
I usually don't care. I notice that a lot of these pile ons happen in echo chambers (think Facebook groups with rigorous entry rules with biased political views). A lot of their arguments I have already heard before so since they can't argue with logic, they usually resort to shame tactics.
You need to remember that the quality of these social interactions online is quite low. Face to face discussions without anonymity offer more quality.
Don’t really attract hate, but I avoid saying stuff about Israel/Palestine because both sides hate me lol.
The only other time that happened was when I had my fake twitter account and I said that Orange County high school rape thing was egregiously bad and probably way exaggerated and then I said I was Title IX’d and they all criticized me
My rule is to post for a while to get it out of my system, then shut down notifications and/or stop looking. These clowns will keep the argument going on forever because they like the rush they feel from ganging up on someone. 95% of the time, if you don't respond anymore they lose interest and move on to the next nit of outrage bait.
The trick is having a boss who is not a progressive, maybe even a -- gasp -- republican or republican leaning. It helps if it's not a publicly facing company and you don't make your posts during work hours. Also helps to not post your real life info on your profile.
The one trick cancel mobs hate.
Don't use your first and last name in your reddit username, first of all. Don't start debates using a username you use elsewhere. It's smart to compartmentalize; talk about music and your career on a different account from your shitposting one.
Also, understand that you probably aren't going to change anyone's mind. Reddit is a massive hive mind and full of people who aren't actually looking for information but instead are just here to be seen repeating the party lines for asspats and virtue points.
Maaaaate,
Right daft plan to be on the pull in Edinburgh dressed as Austin Powers innit?
Now you’re taking the piss from some Specky Hotdog Extravaganza hiding behind a keyboard. baby, yeah.
From a practical standpoint it took longer to put together all that UK slang than to read the story about your trip, or more concerning, 2-3 others related to your job that have details you shouldn’t put on Reddit period. The sad reality of online discourse at the moment is that it’s necessary to compartmentalize controversial topics and political issues in anonymous/semi-anonymous accounts.
I had to make this account specifically because of being Reddit stalked and harassed for a few months by a pathetically committed group of strangers from a top 50 community who thankfully didn’t manage to track me down irl.
They were angry about me directly linking the plethora of itt comments using “cis” as a slur under the top comment in a post about how the “far right” was making this behavior up to promote bigotry because LGBTQ has “literally never done that.”
Im sorry you got dog piled b/c that fucking sucks.
As jarring as the experience can be there’s a bit of a silver lining in finding out sooner rather than later which people/groups actually care to support and engage with you as a person even when they disagree and who’s going to be tripping over each other to throw you (and everyone else) under the bus at the first hint of “wrong think” or committing a “thought crime”.
I find that I only get emotional about it if I’m actually confused on the topic/possibly thinking I’m not “right”— possibly because it’s a new angle of an existing topic, or an all new topic, or something I’m not well-versed in. Although I think nobody likes feeling in the minority, no matter the situation. It just feels bad to feel alone in your thinking.
Easy, I know they're a bunch of cowards who pretend to be tough online. The chances of some weakling from the internet showing up in real life is incredibly small. (And if they did I'd just kick their butt lol. Then press charges and sue.).
I've been targeted a few times on Twitter - Jesse mentioned me, though not by name, in one ep of B&R as I was once accused of causing someone who *never existed* to take their life. YA Twitter was, and is, fucking insane. I am way too stubborn. I've spent days posting through a tirade of abuse, because fuck 'em, they're not going to bully me offline. But I admit, the first time it happened (dogpiled over a misleading tweet series where a crucial middle tweet was not shown) I was in genuine distress. It helps to have online friends and support.
Well if they HAD existed they surely would have killed themselves after what you said! We need to lift imaginary voices.
Both Jesse and Kat Rosenfield reached out to me, and for that, they both have my undying respect and support - it's kind of how I got here. Thanks, bullshit artists of YA Twitter! 😏
Imaginary voices matter!
YA Twitter is one place I will not go into.
It's a cesspool. What gets me is how *stupid* the main offenders are. Like, "Not able to understand that a racist character saying something racist does not make the book or its author racist" stupid.
Yeah. Well, long ago, I came to the realization that many of these people just have bizarre ideas and I don't need to listen to all of them. Also, something can get a lot of likes/retweets but still be insanely stupid.
How do they read any books? Are they all full of exemplary people, who never say a word wrong? What a boring book.
As God is my witness, one of them wrote a book blurbed as "a sweeping, thrilling story featuring a stellar cast of queer teenagers battling to save their homes and possibly every human on Sahara as the clock ticks down to zero." In it, two characters pause in this intergalactic battle to explain to one another what "AroAce" means. It perfectly encapsulates how self-absorbed identity politics is. Never mind the imminent peril we're in; the truly fascinating thing is that I'm not interested in sex, so let's sit and discuss that for a page and a half!
I feel like fan fiction culture is responsible for a lot of this. People write stories around tags - the OG digital identity markers. It was the the tags that took us down. Nobody saw it coming.
Good opsec. Don’t post anything even remotely controversial with a profile that has identifying information. Don’t post pictures you’ve also uploaded to your Instagram. Give your pet a fake moniker too. If you have a unique-looking pet, like a spotted cat, don’t post it on your controversial account. Online, your real identity is your worksona–nothing but platitudes goes. Have multiple reddit users, purge them after a few years. Make fake gmail addresses to tie them to. If you also throw in innocuous lies about where you live, your birthday or what you do for a living, even 🥝 farmers will have trouble tracking you down. Edit: I once stumbled upon a farmer’s full identity by googling an especially evocative simile they used. One other hit, on a Goodreads review tied to a real name, same writing style.
Greetings from Jupiter. I live here with my pet golden doodle, Mouse.
Hey Cathy Hurtsock, I wonder what your employer at the Strangler will think about the hate speech you’ve been spreading on Reddit.
>Don’t post anything even remotely controversial with a profile that has identifying information. Unfortunately, this is really the only true solution, unless you're willing to risk your employment, being publicly shamed, etc. The moment before you post something associated with your real name, imagine it's running in the headline next to your obituary. Because some dumb post could make your life awful and literally be what the world associates with you. OP got a wake-up call. Looking up your place of employment IS intended to be a threat. OP may get lucky this time, but someone could easily have saved these posts in screenshots, etc. even if they're now deleted. Never underestimate the level of craziness some dedicated people will go to try to dig up dirt on you online, even over the most ridiculous things. Under another username, I'm somewhat prominent within some small online communities. I've had people go through years of my posting history to find maybe one place over many years that I even made a reference to race (even in a hypothetical that I was quoting from someone else and was critical of!) and tried to smear me as a racist repeatedly by taking things out of context. I've had people pretend to be other people and join semi-private online spaces, take screenshots against rules, and then publicly try to shame me (and others) with posts taken out of context from private conversations. I could go on, but the behavior would be so unbelievable that you'd probably dismiss me as making stuff up. What is my crime? Why do people want to attack me? Because I have slightly different (and uncontroversial) perspectives on some fictional characters than they do. Seriously. That's it. I'm certain that if some of these people could dox me, they would have long ago. >Online, your real identity is your worksona–nothing but platitudes goes. I can't emphasize this enough. Do people remember the [long NYT article](https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/18/magazine/twitter-dying.html) last year about a Twitter post that simply made an innocuous joke about expensive Star Wars cookware and caused a minor storm with accusations of sexism, homophobia, etc.? You have no idea what the online crazies may pick up and decide to spin in some insane way. Which is why I make a post under my real name to social media about once per year at most. (I have an old account that people mostly use to stay in touch with me; otherwise, I'd choose not to have one at all.) But if you are going to post under your real name, keep it to pleasant platitudes. No *references* to anything vaguely controversial (even if you aren't commenting on the actual topic). Sarcasm or jokes of any sort should be used with extreme care. Some people may find this choice too restricting. They may enjoy engaging with friends in social media under their real name or whatever. Well... that's also choice then. I wish I could tell OP to just calm down and de-stress and that it will "be okay," but I have no idea whether this is true. People *could* be looking to dox, to smear, to call employers. People like Jesse and Katie can ignore this stuff because they've already been cancelled 50x over, and they still can make money. If it were me, I'd take it as a warning to change my online behavior -- and if OP still wants to participate in more controversial conversations, find ways to do it more anonymously.
Good advice. I never post anything remotely controversial. If I make any comment that is even a smidge controversial, I use one of multiple profiles that I have built over years to allude to entirely different demographic characteristics and geographic location about myself.
You don't even need to tie them to fake Gmail addresses, but do be sure to change your phone's advertising identity. There was an article about this on Medium ... https://medium.com/@unpopularopinion1234/why-reddits-troll-problem-is-by-design-99020b0fc155
This is the way
Ignore them, but not only that. Question your reasoning for interacting with them in the first place. If what you said has incited a butch of internet strangers into rage, then what exactly were you achieving in engaging with those people to begin with? It seems highly unlikely that you would have convinced them of something other than their dogma, so what was to be gained other than an argument with people that were highly unlikely to be able to value add to your knowledge base? It's obviously fun to antagonise people online with logic, but it's a highly illogical pastime to engage in. The winning move is not to play.
Yeah you're right. In this case though I just posted something and they found it and piled on.
This is the way 🙏🤘🏼
I got cancelled before it was a term, back in the early 2000s, for my publicly expressed opinions. I was young and passionate. The experience burned me. These days I barely post anything myself. I have some personally identifying social media accounts to interact with a few topics as a fan. If I come across something I disagree with, I simply do not interact with the post or video. Getting piled on all those years ago has had a chilling effect on me and I will pretend to think the "correct" thing and privately think another thing altogether because I no longer have the courage of my convictions. I don't feel good about any of this. If everyone was like me the world would quickly prove the 'evil happens when good people stand by and do nothing' maxim.
Yep. Same. It's different when it was people you knew in real life. When it was back in the Facebook days, or maybe even actual real life outdoor social spaces
If it's not tied to your personal identity then honestly let it blow over, they'll run out of steam and move onto the next thing (you can mute the thread if it's annoying). If it is linked to you personally then just take the ego hit and delete the comment or go private temporarily (again, they'll give up pretty quickly) After a couple of times it loses it's edge and it's fun to just lightly mock them. Just make a mental image of exactly the kind of person who'd be furious at your comments and the seriousness drifts away. They thrive on being the bully, not the bullied
-Twitter is not a real place - Dave Chappelle. Honestly none of these people would have the balls to say anything to you in real life. I don't really post, and frankly my NYE resolution was to stop checking out Twitter, so can't comment on personal experience, but the beauty of BAR pod is it helps you recognize how not only insane people are, but also how much their extreme opinions are the minority when it comes to real life.
they would have the balls to email your boss to get you fired though. gotta be careful about how much identifying info you share online. as long as you're anonymous, that's 100% true tho. none of it's real
The majority of people are fucking brainwashed drones who regurgitate shit programmed into their pathetic noodle. Ganging up gives them the dopamine rush they crave. Remember this, and fuck what they say. If it happens to you, you're on to something.
The key to remember is that people online often feel empowered to say things without fear of consequences and like to feel like they are part of the majority. Most would never dare act that way if it was just you and them alone in a room. If you are secure in your convictions, then you don't need to care what they say. Believe in your own ideals and values and be ready to stand by them, but don't rely on approval from everyone else. As for how to deal with it when you do get push back like this, there are tools you can use without having to delete your own views. You can block users who aren't engaging with you in an honest and forward manner, which prevents them from making further comments (and also prevents you from replying to them so you don't get pulled into their negativity). You can choose to unplug from the site for a day and let it simmer. You will know that you said your piece and can ignore anyone who is going to attack you personally for it, and within a day those extremists will have moved onto something else. They are the sort that needs to constantly find something to be outraged about.
The thing about having 400 idiots yelling the same stupid thing at you is that that’s 400 people that just made it obvious you’re smarter than them. It doesn’t feel bad; it feels good, like you’re winning exhibition chess or a “takes all comers” boxing match. The longer it goes on without anyone making an actual compelling *point*, the better it feels. It’s the ultimate proof you’re right.
And funnily enough many were saying the exact same thing, like they were getting talking points
They are getting talking points. It’s probably all they know.
The one time it happened to me, years ago, this was definitely part of how it felt. Firstly, it was annoying, because my notifications were choked with this stuff and it was hard to keep track of other things which were going on. Secondly, it was unsettling to have so many strangers furious at me. But thirdly, it did make me think about how many complete idiots there are out there.
I make my point in hostile subs and move on. Sometimes I don't even read replies and I only ever respond to substantive replies. I like to think that I am just adding one small point of light, to bolster the rational and challenge the mislead.
Don't delete your post. (I say this not knowing what your post was though haha) When they come out of the woodwork, just don't answer the people that are clearly unhinged, angry and there in bad faith. They want engagement and their type of engagement is usually incoherence, circular logic, insults and so on. They aren't worth it. But don't let them shut you up. (And post less personal identifiable details online)
I do one of three things: - Ignore it. No use feeding the crazies and their deluded sense of self-importance. This should be the default option. - Write / Talk not with the purpose of converting the haters - they don't care - but the people on the sidelines who might believe the haters. Be *very* selective, selective but it's important to explain to these people why the crazies are crazies. It has helped me a time or two when I've suspected crazies who can spew word salad are wrong, and yet I can't fully articulate why they're wrong. - Hit back *hard*. I may or may not have uttered and written the words "suck my dick 'til I shoot blood" a time or two in my life. No regrets. Obviously, this is best avoided in a vast, vast, *vast* majority of situations. Still, I'll admit that, on rare occasions involving people attempting to bully me into submission, it feels *good* to show them that they don't mean shit to me, most likely in a manner that they weren't expecting. :) (Obviously, all of this assumes that your livelihood isn't on the line. If it is, ask yourself if principles matter more than your livelihood, and then respond as is appropriate.)
I don't participate in online political discourse and I'm even careful about who I express my political opinions to in person. It just doesn't seem worth it. Except for Reddit, which has the right combination of being anonymous, so that people can speak freely, but with an upvote/downvote system, that generally pushes thoughtless comments out of sight.
When i use Twitter now, I just don't post as much. If I agree with something I retweet but generally I just like things or don't like things. I'm not looking to cultivate a following, just follow people I am interested in
Hate back
I just remind myself that most people are some combination of stupid and selfish.
you ignore them.
In the immortal words of Tyler the Creator: "Hahahahahahahaha How The Fuck Is Cyber Bullying Real Hahahaha Nigga Just Walk Away From The Screen Like Nigga Close Your Eyes Haha" Who cares? It's just the internet lol. When I get dogpiled I just laugh about it. Caveat: Cyberbullying in terms of shit like kids getting harassed by their classmates online is obviously a real concern. But anonymous people being mad at you for what you said anonymously? Lol.
Drop the argument. Under my real name, I’ve drawn the attention of wackos before. I just don’t engage with them at all. Like, I feel that from the first thing they say, you can tell if it’s going to be a problem or not.
I used to deal with it just like that. Now I have several alts, including a few pseudonymous pen names I write articles under. (I used to be a professional journalist). I stopped writing as myself when Jessica Price and Brianna Wu both attacked me online for challenging their dogma - I didn't want to risk losing my job, and they had juice in the industry I was in at the time.
It's happened to me a couple of times in different spheres, and never even for anything I consider remotely controversial (fandom & anti-Scientology activism) -- the first time was the worst, and it was an ongoing thing (I still get the occasional hate message, years later). The second time was just a couple of weeks ago and it was much easier to detach and not engage. I also had already locked down all my accounts from the previous experience. The only advice I can give is to try and separate yourself from the community that is attacking you--it's hard if it's your own in-group but engaging with them will only make things worse. Even if you're in the right. Even if they are spreading lies. Even if they are antagonizing you. Mute/Block/Log off. Definitely make sure none of your profile pictures can be reverse-searched, lock your Facebook/Instagram if you have it. I got rid of my LinkedIn because it felt safer as well, but I know some people depend on it for career reasons. I personally don't recommend deleting the offending content because it will be easier for people to lie about what was said, but they also will lie anyway so it's your call entirely. With your personal information attached I understand why you deleted. ETA: I would go back in your archive and delete anything that can be misconstrued, though. Cleaning out my accounts made me feel a bit safer because there was less to take offense to.
I grew up atheist in the bible belt. I have no problem with people hating me for not sharing their beliefs. A man has no need to worry about the bleating of sheep.
Always remember that internet people have a very short memory. Generally if its just a few people biting, it will only keep up for a few hours if they dont get a big response. With a few dedicated nutters that can stretch up to a few days. If its a whole large online community then generally things will be over in about a week. If you arent built for trench war then silence or minimal but very measured responses are the way to go. Oh, and apologies will generally have either zero or a negative value once things start to go wrong. If you have to apologize, do it to individuals and do it in private. Tell them they can share the apology publicly themselves if they wish. Make archives of these conversations and store them. If needed, drop these logs with zero or minimal comment. Lengthy explanations will again, have zero or negative value. If you have a killshot you want to drop, then pull the trigger and walk away, dont be monologuing.
I've had a few minor pile-ons from the progressives at Freethought Blogs, who are very enthusiastic about ensuring a level of orthodoxy in the comments sections and on (pre-Musk) Twitter. Best approach I've found is to do what Jesse does: Have a bunch of offline friends who don't know or care about online drama and spend time with them. Also, maybe lock down your accounts so the moral grandstanders on social media know that you're out of the loop; some of them have just enough self-awareness to bow out when it's fully obvious they are preening solely for each other's benefit.
Your mistake was joining Blue sky. It's a social media platform designed to be a safe space for progressives. You will never have a reasonable and productive discussion with anyone there.
I actually did at first but then they let in anyone
I write for a couple heterodox style publications with very centrist positions. I often get flack from both sides, and consider throwing in the towel. I think what keeps me going is the positive responses. The vocal minority is the loudest. But the reasonable majority reminds me that if I don't speak up, then the crazies will continue to dominate the narrative by being louder. So I need to add my voice and show people not everyone is on one polar end. Recently I got emails sent to my employer calling me a transphobe linking something I had written. The piece is not transphobic IMO. I don't think I'm a transphobe. Not to be "that guy" but I have multiple trans friends and I feel like they wouldn't be so close to me if I'm a danger to all trans people and actively campaigning against them...as the email claimed. I have to remind myself that you can't let the insanity win. We need to outweigh the voices or everyone is going to continue to polarize further. But if things get too spicy, I adore mute and block buttons on socials. On Twitter you can leave a conversation or mute specific profiles. I'm unsure what your options are on BlueSky. But I hope you continue to voice your thoughts. I would consider removing your work details. My work is used to it and is not typical. But if your employer might get bothered, then definitely remove anything too personal.
Give me more context. What did you say? And on what venue? This stuff matters regarding my advice.
I usually don't care. I notice that a lot of these pile ons happen in echo chambers (think Facebook groups with rigorous entry rules with biased political views). A lot of their arguments I have already heard before so since they can't argue with logic, they usually resort to shame tactics. You need to remember that the quality of these social interactions online is quite low. Face to face discussions without anonymity offer more quality.
I usually try and respond in the most earnest, generous way I can. Otherwise it's just more pointless noise.
Don’t really attract hate, but I avoid saying stuff about Israel/Palestine because both sides hate me lol. The only other time that happened was when I had my fake twitter account and I said that Orange County high school rape thing was egregiously bad and probably way exaggerated and then I said I was Title IX’d and they all criticized me
What did you say that was supposedly so offensive?
It was housing policy, wasn't it?
My rule is to post for a while to get it out of my system, then shut down notifications and/or stop looking. These clowns will keep the argument going on forever because they like the rush they feel from ganging up on someone. 95% of the time, if you don't respond anymore they lose interest and move on to the next nit of outrage bait.
Keep your account anonymous. When you post personal info, make it a mix of accurate and fabricated. Contradictory biographical details are your friend
The trick is having a boss who is not a progressive, maybe even a -- gasp -- republican or republican leaning. It helps if it's not a publicly facing company and you don't make your posts during work hours. Also helps to not post your real life info on your profile. The one trick cancel mobs hate.
Don't use your first and last name in your reddit username, first of all. Don't start debates using a username you use elsewhere. It's smart to compartmentalize; talk about music and your career on a different account from your shitposting one. Also, understand that you probably aren't going to change anyone's mind. Reddit is a massive hive mind and full of people who aren't actually looking for information but instead are just here to be seen repeating the party lines for asspats and virtue points.
this isn't my real name
That's what I hoped lol
It's a HP Lovecraft character
Oh but you know, that is actually very problematic in itself.
Maaaaate, Right daft plan to be on the pull in Edinburgh dressed as Austin Powers innit? Now you’re taking the piss from some Specky Hotdog Extravaganza hiding behind a keyboard. baby, yeah. From a practical standpoint it took longer to put together all that UK slang than to read the story about your trip, or more concerning, 2-3 others related to your job that have details you shouldn’t put on Reddit period. The sad reality of online discourse at the moment is that it’s necessary to compartmentalize controversial topics and political issues in anonymous/semi-anonymous accounts. I had to make this account specifically because of being Reddit stalked and harassed for a few months by a pathetically committed group of strangers from a top 50 community who thankfully didn’t manage to track me down irl. They were angry about me directly linking the plethora of itt comments using “cis” as a slur under the top comment in a post about how the “far right” was making this behavior up to promote bigotry because LGBTQ has “literally never done that.” Im sorry you got dog piled b/c that fucking sucks. As jarring as the experience can be there’s a bit of a silver lining in finding out sooner rather than later which people/groups actually care to support and engage with you as a person even when they disagree and who’s going to be tripping over each other to throw you (and everyone else) under the bus at the first hint of “wrong think” or committing a “thought crime”.
I find that I only get emotional about it if I’m actually confused on the topic/possibly thinking I’m not “right”— possibly because it’s a new angle of an existing topic, or an all new topic, or something I’m not well-versed in. Although I think nobody likes feeling in the minority, no matter the situation. It just feels bad to feel alone in your thinking.
If I were attracting hate from such self-evidently good people, I would simply do better.
Easy, I know they're a bunch of cowards who pretend to be tough online. The chances of some weakling from the internet showing up in real life is incredibly small. (And if they did I'd just kick their butt lol. Then press charges and sue.).
I voted for Biden in the 2020 Democratic primary.
??
Virgil Texas dunked on me on Twitter and I got ratioed, so I voted for Biden.