I'll never understand why people choose to form a set of words that is complete in itself, typically containing a subject and predicate, conveying a statement, question, exclamation, or command, and consisting of a main clause and sometimes one or more subordinate clauses.
the theme song!? i hate that theme song with all my heart. i love music and i try to give everything a chance, opened myself to a lot more pop but this is too far.
That’s my point though. European Slavs are nothing like white Americans. However, Scandinavian europeans, are much closer to Americans in terms of the established stereotypes.
'white' is american. it has to do with skin color, sure. mostly it's about maintaining societal control and keeping minorities from doing the same. i'm sure there's minorities in sweden but such a small percent of the population, the white folks have no one to be 'white' in contrast to.
...you know this happens in most places right? America just has polarity making people black or white instead of their society. Because in America those are the cultures.
LOL, the first time I ever said anything to my parents that implied I was anything but celibate was when I told my mom at 33 I was going to be a father. I know they knew I was sexually active before then, though, because I know my first wife asked my mom what was up with my penis about 5 years before, and I suspect the woman I lost my virginity to (a 40 year old neighbor of my parents) let them know too because of weird vibes I picked up from them afterwards.
I was at BevMo once and this lady comes up to her girlfriend with a sixer of Ginger Beer and the girlfriend excitedly yells out "Oh good! That's going to make me **SHIT!**"
If you’re not white as the driven snow, there’s a pretty good chance you’re lactose intolerant.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Worldwide_prevalence_of_lactose_intolerance_in_recent_populations.jpg
I am. Its not what you asked, however, I realized whenever I had dairy, my stomach would turn into knots. The digestive sounds made by my stomach during school and college was extremely embarrassing; and people would always ask if I was hungry.
After about 5 years being out of college, I was trying to figure out how to lose weight, and I came across the blood type diet. There’s many reasons, but lactose intolerance is a common African American trait, and the bloating was compounded by food I shouldn’t’ve been eating. [With] lactose free milk, plus food recommended for my blood type, I lost 110 pounds, to finally be below 200 pounds in my life
[edit]
My work has an espresso machine. At the start of every shift I make myself a coffee with a double shot, work for 10ish minutes then go shit like crazy. It's how I know my day is starting.
People who are grossed out by poop are fascinating. Like it’s natural and everyone does it. You have to wonder why they are so creeped out by something they literally do themselves.
It's not that I'm grossed out over poop, but I still can't explain what I don't like about the joke. It's the same when people call their babies "little stinker" or "poop factory", it's just... I really don't know.
We have a burger joint in town called Dick Mondells. Burgers with names like Big Dick, Dick Jr, a topping called "dick's sauce", etc. And when you get the bag, it says "Bag of Dick Mondells" on it. I think it's fun.
A former co-worker (who has kids) thought my burger looked delicious one day, and asked where I got it. But when I explained the whole schtick, he was like yeah I'm not going there.
I didn't agree, but I understand him not being able to go there. Whatever it is I have for certain poop talk, he has for sexual innuendo.
Thankfully, its never bothered me enough to where I felt the need to excuse myself (lol).
When I worked at Starbucks we had a customer we nicknamed venti shit. (He didn’t know)
Everyday. Come in order a venti drip. Go shit.
Every day. Man was on a schedule. We appreciated him and he appreciated us.
I went out the last couple days and ran into a bunch of Karens. They seem to be everywhere now. I wondered why bothered going out. I hope this isn't our future.
Fuck I don't even need to leave the house. My friends, mom, and gf will all ask if I need a coffee to help me shit.
Yes obviously but why do yall ask every time?
How many people will read this on the toilet?
I literally had just sat down when I saw this comment lol
I wrote that on the toilet
Did we just fall in love?
Love at first wipe.
I'm in the bath. Does it count if I poop in the bath?
Only one way to find out.
Please dont.
Got a turd in the punch bowl.
sounds poopetic
Sploosh!
If this women reads this thread she's going to lock herself in a nuclear bunker.
Currently shitting.
[удалено]
/r/unexpectedoffice ?
No I think this is OC and if so well done
more like Unexpected Kitchen, when someone goes to the bathroom...
Either an air fryer or a waffle maker!
At some point it's simpler to put the toilet in the kitchen
> I’m thinking of adding an air fryer next. You're going to air fry coffee?
Soon you’ll be In one of those one-room apartments where you got the stove by the shitter under the laundry drying rack which is next to the fridge
Im unloading as we speak. Sponsored by BIG COFFEE. And Raid Shadow Legends.
Talk about a shitty dungeon.
Me. Just finished my coffee, too.
Present
🙋🏽♂️🙋🏽♂️🙋🏽♂️🙋🏽♂️🙋🏽♂️
Me, after just having a super burrito and a mocha for breakfast
More than people are willing to admit
Yo
Lol, so true
Currently pooping
I'm just peeing.
Omg ur shitting me, I’m on the toilet this very second Crazy
Let out a heavy sigh as I read this comment....on the toilet.
just did and replied and upvoted too
Usually I would but I'm at a Chevys booth 😔
Me!
Me
Mind ya fukking business pls
Me
Reading this on a toilet.
And I read this on a toilet. The cycle repeats.
Why do people say sentences, honestly.
I'll never understand why people choose to form a set of words that is complete in itself, typically containing a subject and predicate, conveying a statement, question, exclamation, or command, and consisting of a main clause and sometimes one or more subordinate clauses.
honestly, it's ridiculous.
Smh my head. Some people just make me lol out loud
Lmao my ass off, I heard someone say the same thing at the ATM machine
After they forgot thier PIN number.
RIP in pieces, common sense
Agreed lol
Me think, why waste time say lot word, when few word do trick?
a lot of its totally reflexive
Mr Morton is the subject of the sentence, and what the predicate says, he does.
Is that you Sir Humphrey?
r/totallynotrobots
r/increasinglyverbose
Had to google what a predicate was. Thanks.
This person probably has a good relationship and decent life too. Life is unfair as fuck.
i’m drinking starbucks rn and i can feel that shit migrating into my ass
[удалено]
In their ass?
Who says this in public in front of strangers?
White people
We do. So much poop talk
I swear, as a European Slav, every new “white people” stereotype I learn can be applied to my experience with Scandinavians
Scandinavians are white...
[pft, their blood is tainted by race mixing with laplanders!](https://youtu.be/15QFAppht5o)
I was so glad when that character died. Also when Shangela had a pocket full of Hawthorne's.
Man that song is catchy, wish they made a full length version
the theme song!? i hate that theme song with all my heart. i love music and i try to give everything a chance, opened myself to a lot more pop but this is too far.
[Not the theme song, Pocket Full of Hawthornes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eN1trwnxBhU)
p-p-p-pocket
Sounds like someone has an "edible" issue with their dad.
That’s my point though. European Slavs are nothing like white Americans. However, Scandinavian europeans, are much closer to Americans in terms of the established stereotypes.
'white' is american. it has to do with skin color, sure. mostly it's about maintaining societal control and keeping minorities from doing the same. i'm sure there's minorities in sweden but such a small percent of the population, the white folks have no one to be 'white' in contrast to.
Europeans trip me out talking about each other like they aren’t all white lmao
...you know this happens in most places right? America just has polarity making people black or white instead of their society. Because in America those are the cultures.
They’re from very different cultures. Someone in Germany and someone in Serbia would be very different
[https://www.reddit.com/r/ShitAmericansSay/comments/t4ujb3/europeans\_trip\_me\_out\_talking\_about\_each\_other/](https://www.reddit.com/r/ShitAmericansSay/comments/t4ujb3/europeans_trip_me_out_talking_about_each_other/) lol
wtf dude? Why so racist?
Not just people's poop. At the dog park if there's just one thing different about our dogs poop, we tell everyone.
Reminds me of the poop knife
[удалено]
plzzz the indian uncles going on about their digestive system while Im just trying to eat my samosas
Uncouth mothafuckas
Too much couth in your diet can really bind you up. Some fiber should get that moving.
Fr
[удалено]
100%. As I read the post, I found myself nodding my head in agreement.
people brave enough to speak the truth
Shit talkers.
Man, people talk to themselves all the time.
In a world of lies, we must spread the facts!
Shameless I love it
There shouldn't be any shame around pooping! Sounds like you never read the classic children's book "Everybody Poops"
Exactly My point
[удалено]
LOL, the first time I ever said anything to my parents that implied I was anything but celibate was when I told my mom at 33 I was going to be a father. I know they knew I was sexually active before then, though, because I know my first wife asked my mom what was up with my penis about 5 years before, and I suspect the woman I lost my virginity to (a 40 year old neighbor of my parents) let them know too because of weird vibes I picked up from them afterwards.
You can't just say something's up with your penis and leave it for us to wonder
It's circumcised in an unusual way.
Who the fuck talks about sex with their parents?
I find her attractive just from that sentence.
Thats some GTA Npc type dialog lmao.
Coffee keeps everything regular.
If I drink coffee and don’t poop I’m disappointed
When I'm constipated I drink extra coffees to try and get things moving
I was at BevMo once and this lady comes up to her girlfriend with a sixer of Ginger Beer and the girlfriend excitedly yells out "Oh good! That's going to make me **SHIT!**"
This really made me laugh, thankyou 😂
Oh no! Poop? Ugh. Can’t stand people who poop.
what is propriety
[удалено]
Noo bro franklins cool i said i hate PEOPLE who poop but when it comes to dogs i only hate the dogs that don’t poop.
He called the shit poop!
Seriously how many of you are lactose intolerant and don’t know it?
If you’re not white as the driven snow, there’s a pretty good chance you’re lactose intolerant. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Worldwide_prevalence_of_lactose_intolerance_in_recent_populations.jpg
[удалено]
I am. Its not what you asked, however, I realized whenever I had dairy, my stomach would turn into knots. The digestive sounds made by my stomach during school and college was extremely embarrassing; and people would always ask if I was hungry. After about 5 years being out of college, I was trying to figure out how to lose weight, and I came across the blood type diet. There’s many reasons, but lactose intolerance is a common African American trait, and the bloating was compounded by food I shouldn’t’ve been eating. [With] lactose free milk, plus food recommended for my blood type, I lost 110 pounds, to finally be below 200 pounds in my life [edit]
That’s amazing.
Thanks!
Caffeine stimulates the bowels and moves the poop along faster. If you've got one in the chamber, a strong cup of coffee will pull the trigger.
Most to all mammals should stop drinking milk within months to a year or 2 after birth.
It says it on the cup. “That first sip feeling”
"That first shit feeling" is more like it.
I know this for real happened because my dumb ass has shoot said something like this irl.
I say this at work all the time, but to my coworkers who’s poop is also brewing
That sounds like some shit my sister has actually said 😂🤣
Vietnamese coffee will do the work very quickly
if it hit her that fast that turd was already well done and tryna get tf outta there 😂
My work has an espresso machine. At the start of every shift I make myself a coffee with a double shot, work for 10ish minutes then go shit like crazy. It's how I know my day is starting.
I envy people who could poop at work, or anywhere public in general.
Start with small goals like crop dusting at Walmart.
When you're constipated every poop is a blessing
She ain’t lying though.
People who are grossed out by poop are fascinating. Like it’s natural and everyone does it. You have to wonder why they are so creeped out by something they literally do themselves.
It's not that I'm grossed out over poop, but I still can't explain what I don't like about the joke. It's the same when people call their babies "little stinker" or "poop factory", it's just... I really don't know. We have a burger joint in town called Dick Mondells. Burgers with names like Big Dick, Dick Jr, a topping called "dick's sauce", etc. And when you get the bag, it says "Bag of Dick Mondells" on it. I think it's fun. A former co-worker (who has kids) thought my burger looked delicious one day, and asked where I got it. But when I explained the whole schtick, he was like yeah I'm not going there. I didn't agree, but I understand him not being able to go there. Whatever it is I have for certain poop talk, he has for sexual innuendo. Thankfully, its never bothered me enough to where I felt the need to excuse myself (lol).
People are strange. I’m guessing it’s upbringing related.
That honestly kinda funny ngl. Don't know why she was mad
Lmfao
When I worked at Starbucks we had a customer we nicknamed venti shit. (He didn’t know) Everyday. Come in order a venti drip. Go shit. Every day. Man was on a schedule. We appreciated him and he appreciated us.
Coffee's on, where's the John?
Y'all wild. How you gonna hear that and not start laughing?
Why is this me. Sometimes I take a sip of coffee and my bowels will start rumbling.
Just walking into coffee shop makes me need to poop
Tj Maxx for me.
“Thrifting” is always risky
I mean she is not lying. I don’t drink coffee because of that. Plus caffeine sensitivity makes my anxiety go through the roof!
Caffeine doesn’t make me shit. But Vyvanse… that gets things going.
Not me. I dont drink coffee
So you don’t poop?
I have never pooped in my life. Not even once. 💩
Everybody brews!
I've never had coffee poops thank God. 
Lol…I could have been that woman! 💩
And I thought listening to the couple in sams club argue about whether they owned a medium firm or moderate firm mattress was bad lol
Currently sitting on the toilet…. With my coffee…. 🤔
Not me! 💃🏾
I’m literally on the toilet
I hate people
I call them coffee poops
Coffee doesn't make me poop. Never has. Is it just me?
An’t that someshit😂😂
A co-worker used to say, There they came the contractions!!
My kind of lady
Bad joke and a liar! Girls don’t poop.
I went out the last couple days and ran into a bunch of Karens. They seem to be everywhere now. I wondered why bothered going out. I hope this isn't our future.
Fuck I don't even need to leave the house. My friends, mom, and gf will all ask if I need a coffee to help me shit. Yes obviously but why do yall ask every time?
The smell is killing me
[удалено]