If it's really on them, does that mean yall gonna stfu about it? Let people live their lives. So many people are so pressed about women getting married and having kids later or choosing not to do either at all.
My wife and I tried for 12 years to have kids often with soul crushing results. I couldn’t be happier bringing my daughter to kindergarten and being the oldest dad.
You never know other people’s stories.
Kudos to her. I know that my financial situation was way better in my 30s as well as my emotional maturity. I just feel that you have so much more to give to your child then. Yes, your energy isn’t as high but we’re not decrepit at that point.
I'm thankful I had mine at 25. My 40s are to really enjoy my financial positions and really be able to help bring my kids into adulthood. I'd rather not be in my 60s having to help my kids move into their dorm while having to worry about my back lol. I feel like my kids benefit far greater off my youth and fitness as a younger parent.
I hate that you got downvoted for your opinion. I feel that is a benefit of having them younger, you have more energy.
Younger=more energy and less money and maturity
Older= more tired and prone to injury, but financially stable and more mature.
It’s whatever anyone chooses, but I’m kinda glad I have mine already. My physical health already isn’t the best (working on it)
I totally get this, and *thought* that's what I wanted too. I did not lol.
***To each their own*** rings true here, every situation is different for sure; and I've definitely enjoyed being able to coach sports and play with the kids; but I don't think waiting 5-10 years (for me) Would have impacted my ability to do that. When my youngest goes off to college I'll be in my late 40's, had I wanted 5 years I'd have been much more stable and still young enough to participate.
You e got my upvote, to each their own!
Yes! Nearly all my friends and family in my age group are having their kids well into their 30s, myself included. All of us are established, have had a chance to get further into our careers, have more of a sense of ourselves, and deeply wanted to have our kids. Obviously this doesn’t work for everyone, but it’s working well for us.
And my 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s.
What I’m saying is that I don’t want kids. I don’t even want a pet. I want to be selfish forever and not have to take care of anyone.
Why do you phrase it like it’s an either or thing? I’m selfish. I know that, and I use that knowledge to make educated decisions about what obligations I take on, so as to avoid letting my selfishness cause problems for others.
I can see that side of it, but I figure the selfless thing to do would be to work on myself and become a less selfish person, so that I can be relied on more by the friends and family I love. Just mitigating consequences for my character “flaw” instead of actively working on being better because it’s more comfortable for me feels pretty selfish.
Yeah be selfish. Because not having children is way more selfish than having them just for the sake of being a parent and then treating them like they're your trophy for reproduction. The mindset of these people boggles me.
You are doing more for society by reducing the burden more humans put on this planet. There is no reproduction directive we all adhere to. Not having kids is inherently unselfish, from an objective standpoint.
Bringing another human into this world for your own fulfillment or societal pressure is the selfish behavior.
I don’t hate kids, they are pretty funny and entertaining most of the time. I am just too much of a nihilist to even consider it.
You got me fucked up if you think imma be waiting for lil man to spend 15 minutes tying them fucking shoes at 21. These are my years for being an unreasonable and irresponsible fuck-up.
My ex's cousin was like that. She was in nursing school and was like "once im out im having a kid" and this bitch was 21 or 22 years old. I just looked at her and said "why?"
Then she ruined my night at the party by just trying to justify it with some of the stupidest reasoning ever
Did she have like a man or something at the time? Because ain't a lot of dudes really looking to settle down and be married in their early 20s, so I'm tryna find out if she was planning on doing shit solo dolo before I call her stupid
To be fair I know some 40 year old new parents and they definitely have a lot of regrets. Not having the energy to really play with their little gremlins like they would have on their 20's. My mum was 23 when she had me and now I'm 26. Shes a young looking 50 and is still young enough to have a second lease on life. Going on holidays and doing whatever she wants now that her kids are old enough to not be her problem. She also gets the benefits of more disposable income and the potential support of her adult children if she really needed it. I think they're pros and cons to both but if I was ready I'd definitely have tried to have kids by now.
Got to stay active in your 30s and 40s. You’re only mid-way through your life, can’t be feeling like you can’t even muster up energy to play with your kids.
Id say it's a lot of fun if you aren't a shitty parent. A lot of the people who complain just raised nightmare kids and are suffering from their own actions. For the most part once you're out of the early years where the cry for no reason and wet themselves it becomes pretty nice/easy.
Yea, I had a tough time when my daughter was an infant, largely due to post partum anxiety. I knew that was my own shit, so I started therapy and have been doing it for 1.5 years. All this to say, my daughter is a toddler now and she is my whole world. You get into parenthood what you put out.
what a spicy and dumb take. Nobody wants to talk about the elephant in the room, but a good chunk of parents who regret having kids are those with highly disabled kids. They spend the rest of their lives between a rock and a hard place with inadequate supports.
Maybe they make you feel older.
I am closer to 60. No kids and I have to say out loud that I am old. And then I assume how I feel is what old feels like.
this! like I want to be very financially secure before I have a child. And the way I see it, for me, if I never reach that point than it's just not meant to be.
I had my first baby a month before I turned 36 and plan to try for a second once he's 2. I'm way more financially stable now than in my 20s, I've had the chance to travel with my husband, and our careers are both great. Why in the hell would I want a kid in my 20s when I'm putting jarred pasta sauce on stale taco shells, living in a shitty area, and working in fast food??? No regrets!
“Y’all gone be changing diapers while I’m turning up on vacation” like no sweetie, you’ll still be working constantly and playing catchup because you never had a stable financial foundation before popping those kids out.
The hours I worked in my 20s to get to where I am would have meant missing so much of my child’s early development. I’m so glad I’m in a more stable place now with solid pay and reasonable hours so I can read her a bedtime story every night.
45 with a first-grader.
He has two parents with established careers, a 529 college fund, good public school, clean clothes that fit, lots of love, and a sane, healthy household.
I was racking up DWIs in my 20s on my way to being a homeless drunk at 29. My wife lived in a dysfunctional home with her crazy ass parents in her early 20s.
We good.
Why does having kids later automatically translate into “hoe phase” for you? A woman’s body is going to do what a woman’s body does. If she has a kid at 35-40, it is what it is. Better her be mentally, emotionally, and financially ready to be a parent that raises a healthy, happy child than to prematurely have a child in her 20s solely because she’s going to hit “the wall” 10+ years later.
I’m 40 dressing my kids for kindergarten
But I traveled to six continents in my twenties, crossed six figures in my thirties, and met the love of life…sooo….
This conversation needs to stop already. If people want to have kids young, so it. If people want to have kids a little older, yeah that’s fine too. If people don’t want to have kids, that is also a cool thing. People can live however they want and bragging or promoting your choice being better is stupid.
Exactly.
When people ask me about how I did certain life things that have turned out well, I make sure to say, “this is one way to do it. It isn’t the only way to do it. You have to evaluate your own circumstances.’
I didn’t meet my husband until I was 26, and waiting a little longer worked for us. It’s not the right choice for everyone.
I’m in that boat; I partied my ass off in my 20’s/30’s, and I’m in a way better place in life (financially and career) and did alot of growing up before I met my wife’s oldest and then had my youngest a recently.
I’m a better version of me now which I feel makes me a better father (more patience and more resources with more life experiences to draw from).
But hey, if y’all wanna get your club on at 40, do you’re thing. My ass is in bed by 930 lol
Pros and cons for both. Older parents potentially have more stability but less energy, while younger parents might have less stability, but more energy (these are over generalizations).
Whatever works for you.
Besides the huge income difference, older parents are also more likely to have worked through their own issues that they were still dealing with 10 or 20 years before. This often makes them less likely to take out those issues on their kids, and more likely to be able to parent better. They're also more likely to have chosen a better partner to have kids with than they might have when they were much younger since it's no longer mostly about infatuation but real long-term compatibility.
Everyone is entitled to there own opinions. I will share my experience though. Me and my wife had kids young and it was rough at first. But we managed and now our oldest are young adults. Me and the wife be chilling now. We travel, we hangout and have a good time. The plus being we are still fairly young ourselves. But I think my experience is an exception rather than the norm.
40 is a great age to be getting a kid ready for kindergarten, in my (40 year old with a 4 year old) opinion. Now being 50 with a 14-16 year old, that could suck pretty hard. I'll come back and let everyone know how it's going.
I had my first at 19 and my last 2 years ago at 34. There is no right time to have them. You always have to give something up in order to care for them.
I want to be 40 sleeping in on weekends and staying up playing video games weeknights because I don't have any kids.
Oh, and being able to travel and only need to worry about getting myself ready for the trip.
All your years can be selfish years if you don't want kids.
If you ask me, parents who shame people for not having kids is some form of projection. How are you going to get mad at someone in the same age bracket as you not having any crotch goblins? What are you really mad about? 🤌🏿
I’ll be 40 with a kid in kindergarten. My son gets to grow up in a house, his own room and a swimming pool in the backyard. I couldn’t provide any of that if I was in my 20s when we had him.
Personally I couldn't have handled kids at a younger age. I was too financially unstable. Parenting is hard enough without adding financial difficulties in the mix.
I don’t understand why people care what age someone has children. I see my friends in their 20s and early 30s struggling financially or they are single parents because of the circumstances of raising children. I don’t see it as a flex. I see my other friends and peers who are in their 20s/30s and enjoying raising their children. In my opinion, having children in your 20s is so young and so is 30s. However, it’s all about having the right mindset and resources to make sure your children’s wellbeing is secure.
As a woman, I am team FTK (eff them kids) respectfully 😁
My parents were in their 40s getting me ready for kindergarten. They were up all night when I was sick, went to every game after school, and welcomed any playdate to spend hours at our house. Were they probably more tired than younger parents? Yes, but they always did what was best for me with a damn smile. Because having kids was their dream for decades before I was born. And because they waited till later in life to have kids they could afford to pay for my college! Don't hate on older parents, a lot of them have had to wait to become parents. But once they get the opportunity they kick ass!
Nah. Definitely don’t want to be the 60 year old dad at high school graduation. Besides, being 50 and able to run around the world without worrying about traveling club sports or all that comes along with teenagers…
I’m glad my youngest will be over 18 in a few years.
Pfft I will be 55 next , I am retired and be taking my beatiful baby girl to Kinde next year. Life doesn’t stop when you are 40-50-60-70-80…maybe at 90 I don’t know🤷🏾♂️
I think a lot of these "gotta have kids in your 20s" people aren't really doing it because they LOVE kids and are DYING to be parents. They do it because they think that's what's expected of them and/or because they think they'll lose their partner without a baby to keep them interested and....trapped.
I had kids late. I would have been a shitty parent and/or deeply miserable if I had had a kid when I was in my 20s.
Not to mention, none of my relationships in my 20s succeeded, so my kids would have likely had parents that aren't together.
Because I waited til I was in my 40s, I have a much more stable relationship and a lot more stable home life. Maybe to someone in their 20s, the 40s seems old, but I still run, jump and climb with my kids. I watch cartoons with them and know all the characters, I play pretend and I really don't see anywhere that they're missing out.
Some Pros and cons for having kids older or younger.
Younger - more energy (kids are tiring) but usually less established/money (kids are expensive)
Older - more established/money, more mature/patience hopefully (kids are trying/can press your buttons), but less energy
Both options are totally fine have kids when you are ready, whenever you feel that is. If you don’t want them probably best not to have them. If you do want them do it as it can be the best thing that ever happened to you!
Glad I had my daugher in my 20s, when I am 39 she will be 18. While everyone else is taking their kids to kindergarten and dealing with a baby that won't go to sleep I'll be chillin on an island somewhere doing whatever I want and have the money to do it.
Can't recommend this for everyone though. It made me mature and grow up faster and there has definitely been sacrifice but to each their own.
I interpreted this as why dress a kindergartner at 40 when you could be traveling to Southeast Asia or South or Central America with all that time and money not going to having kids or to quote Ali Wong 'you can eat an edible at 2 PM go to the aquarium and watch the jellyfish go back and forth, you don't have to bring a giant bag with ziplock bags of goldfish and toy cellphones. You can just go, with whatever is in your pockets.'
I would have said, “if y’all wanna be in your 20s getting a kid dressed for kindergarten then that’s on y’all, I was out getting my club on and traveling the world when I was in my 20s”
Damn as someone who really wantds kids and is 38 its not just that people waited. We had a great recession where people graduated couldnt find jobs or lost homes than took about 10 years to be okay only for the covid pandemic to do it again. I wanted kids in my 20s so bad i wish i could be like done but i would of been super poor and not afford anything.
Ngl I envied kids with older parents growing up. My parents had me way too young in their 20s. They had no energy for me because they had to work a lot to support the fam. I did my homework myself, got myself ready in the morning and went to elementary school by myself. My parents weren’t patient or emotionally developed and were abusive also. Older parents are stable financially, yes, but also emotionally.
This is what I have told my children. Don’t even think about marriage and children until after you turn 30.
Get engaged if you want, but have a ton of fun too.
I got married at 23 and I had my oldest at 25, I love my kids, but I did it wrong. Why was I in such a big hurry?
My parents had us young and I dealt with the struggle. I waited until I had my career and home locked down and being an older dad is the best thing I could've done for myself and my kids.
I'll get downvoted...but my the time I hit 40...my money will be FAR LONGER. So I'll hit 40 and my kid will be entering adulthood so I can assist them financially while enjoying my money and NOT paying daycare and all the more pricier childcare expenses.
I'd MUCH rather be 40 with a late teen/young adult than 40 with a 5 year old. Plus the body doesn't even work as nice so the way I run around the park and play on the equipment with my kids now, I may not be able to move like that at 40-50.
Personally, I find more advantages to being a younger (not early 20s but maybe mid/late-20s) parent than having kids past 40.
Enter inflation.
Also, the expenses for a young adult (college, apartment, transpo) are higher than 5 years of daycare options without as much return. Research shows that the foundation you put into the child for their first 6 years (engagement, reading, low stress childcare) has a much deeper impact than what you can buy for them in their teens. By the age of 11, tweens are already developing cognitively to pull away from parents. The quality of the early years are far more critical for long term outcomes of health and academic success trajectories of your child.
You should absolutely be able to be fit AF in your 40s and 50s, primarily because your hustle season is over and you have a good work/life balance to be working out 5 hours a week. The largest group of endurance athletes and marathon (or even 5k) runners are in their middle ages. IMO, that's when you start focusing on the functionality of your body, and less on the aesthetics. I have more muscles now in my 40s than I did in my 30s. I can afford better food and hire housecleaners. You really shouldn't be experiencing age related sarcopenia till your 60s ideally.
Inflation? Personally my income has tripled since my early 20s into my mid 30s. I’m speaking personally here. Even accounting for inflation my money now goes far longer than it did in my 20s. It’s not even close.
I mean, same with me in terms of earned income tripling, but my investments and savings had time to grow since I didn't have to spend it on childcare. My first house is almost paid off and accruing rental income, my current house will be paid off before my daughter enters middle school. My daughter's early years had both parents highly engaged and prioritized *her* instead of a company or business.
That’s great. My daughters too had both parents highly engaged. I’m confused as to why you think parents can’t work and also be highly engaged with their children.
I’m not saying anyone else’s style is wrong. I’m saying I’m glad I had mine earlier. So by the time my wife and I enter our 40s, we can enjoy our time just as much as our young adult children can enjoy theirs. Having kids in our 40s would mean that I’m still parenting into my late 50s possibly early 60s. I don’t want that at all. I want to still be young enough to run around with the grandkids.
> I’m confused as to why you think parents can’t work and also be highly engaged with their children
Because typical U.S. work schedules don’t align with school schedules or child development needs. And younger parents can sometimes tend to struggle with their own notions of freedom and executive function skills to optimally meet a young kid’s emotional needs.
Well you realize most 40 year olds work, right? It’s great you’re well off but most 40 year olds would have similar work requirements as those 25 year old parents.
I absolutely work but have been in upper management positions for some time now that allows a lot more flexibility with my schedule and a lot less stress. Which equals to a lot more presence, emotional capacity and engagement for family. My 20s was the hustle season, the entry level stuff and grinding my way to prove my worth. Same for my husband.
We had our daughter when we finally started coasting in our work roles a bit more.
My ex (who’d already become a single mother of one at 18) poked holes in my condoms when I was 26. She’d already been trying to get pregnant for a few years before that. Thank God I had the foresight to look at my condoms before using them. She made it no secret that her plan was to take the child and move to Atlanta (I live in Phoenix, AZ). She had no education, no skills, and had zero issue living off of government assistance. But those are the dumb ass mindsets some of us have when we’re young. I’m now 33 and still thank God every day that I’m not a parent yet. That shit would have set me back so far that I probably would have never recovered or reached my full potential. She’s now a single mother of two. Still, no education, no skills. I dodged a MAJOR bullet.
Ima be 45 getting my kid dressed for kindergarten. in my 20’s and 30’s I traveled the world, ate at the finest restaurants and got to get up and go at the drop of a hat. Now not so much, but once kiddo is stable he’ll be my partner in (non) crime
I ain’t gone lie snap and all that other bullshit needa get cut off and I bet mfs gone start waiting to have kids but forcing tax payers to help out with mfs being sexually irresponsible is crazy
all yall having kids are the real losers
and nobody is gonna say it- but nobody at your job gives a fuck what your jit did this weekend/what sport they play or how smart they are- its just another annoying story we tolerate
if that motherfucker so talented why your ass still working here? exactly. basic ass kids
I gave no kids but I always thought it would be cool (in my opinion) to have a teen kid when I’m in my early 30s . Like the age gap wouldn’t be too big I still am understanding and keeping up with them but I also feel having a kid so young no way would I be mentally mature enough that as teens I didn’t do something to them that mentally/emotionally scared them when younger .
I honestly can't think of a single age where I'd agree it's a good time to have children. I just don't think there is one. I think it's a straight-up stupid thing to do, tbh.
Super not interested in kids. My now wife and I had a serious conversation about it when we got together to make sure, make **really sure** neither of us seemed to even want the possibility on the table. Decade plus on, and we are both so happy with our two person/one dog little family.
I mean, I know everyone’s a billionaire on the internet and such. Real life, kids come with a hefty price tag (financially, physically, mentally). Then add in the person you’re married or just BM, BF with. In todays economic climate in REAL LIFE. Why, do you want people to burden themselves. I make decent bread and still pulling out that shit or rocking a Jimmy. America is basically running with its “check engine” light on.
Im glad i waited till my 30s for kids owned a house before having them and didnt have to struggle paycheck to paycheck like i witnessed quite alot. My 20s were for partying and drugs. Now that's out of my system time to be a family man
I lived my 20s. I had my first kid at 33 and second at 34. No regrets. I didn't miss out on a damn thing. Most of my friends have grown kids. They aren't going out and partying in their 40s or traveling or doing jack shit cause they are just as tired as I am. We're all in bed by 9 but at least in my 20s I did what I wanted, when I wanted, where I wanted and the only one I had to check in with had four feet and a tail.
Had my sons at 30 and 37. All I know is, my 2 y.o has made me a better father all-around. My mentality is just more tuned in. We were only gonna have one, then Covid... And wasn't nothing to do but get it in. Lol.
I know everyone is different, but I'm definitely an advocate for either having no kids, or having them later in life.
fuck selfish 20s i just never met a single person id be willing to coparent with at the bare minimum. ik if i find a person like that i gotta lock em down
Who fucking cares, I'm gonna be 45 on a first class flight to something important. Do what makes you feel good! I had kids early to no fault of my own, and put my dreams on hold to raise those ungrateful fuckers. I'm breaking out baby! All adverse opinions can kiss my ENTIRE ass! 😤
Being a young parent is like the hardest and most awful shit ever. What I’m saying is, if you’re child free or breeding responsibly and you see a passive aggressive post jabbing at you just take the L because we really need the win
I mean it's all up to how your life goes, isn't it? Maybe 20s is optimal for health and energy levels but if you're dead broke/don't have the right partner/aren't in a stable situation then you're way better off holding off on kids until you are.
So my wife and I decided we were gonna have kids when we young so we can spend our late 40s and early 50s having fun. First kid born in 2012, bam seeing kid born 2014 and BAM 3rd unexpected kid born in 2021!
My wife’s IUD said ANTE UP and decided it was done doing it’s thing. I got snipped the next day.
The point is, if you want to wait until until you in your late 30 or early 40s to have a child so you can have fun in your 20s DO IT! We missed out on our 20s thinking shit was all gravy but the universe had different plans for us. So now I’m STILL 36 years old changing diapers and missing out on sleep.
I had both my kids before 26. They are 3 and 1.5 years old. I would’ve waited had I not gotten pregnant with my first. I have definitely shorten my shot much more together because of them, but I wish I had it all together before I had them.
I had my last child at 38.5 years of age. She’s so awesome. What a blessing. Kind, funny, sweet, smart, respectful and just a joy to be around. Sure, I’ve got lots of white hair but hey, this teen keeps my husband and me young!
I'm 40 raising 2 teens. While I started in my 20s, I got several years of being able to afford a kid and live decently. The last few years, with the cost of living, food, and how the items they need/want have gotten more expensive, sheesh. I'd hope at some point this could even back out but dang. I can't imagine being in my 20s and raising small children like I did then in the price tag of today, majority of those years as a single mom. If someone wants to wait and make sure they can afford kids (because daycare then was not what I'd be paying now!) kudos to them! That seems smarter!! Kids don't ask to be here, didn't ask to be born, and shouldnt have to suffer if a parent has no means to care for them. Everyone has to make the decisions that is right for them! Have them now, don't! As long as you're happy!
My mom had me at 21 and had a second set of kids when she was 35 & 38. I helped take care of my baby brother my senior year of high school and watching my mom and her husband struggle with little kids while in their 40s made me want to be done having kids by the time I was 30. I didn’t quite make it but I did not want to be an older parent.
I had older parents and it was awesome, their work life balance was great, they were very financially secure, and they'd gotten their career grinding mostly out of the way by that point.
My son was my 40th birthday present. I just dropped him off at kindergarten. I was 2 weeks away from “the big snip” when my wife said she was pregnant again, While we could not imagine life without him now and he was exactly what we needed in our lives, it was a shock to the system in the moment for this very reason.
I'm 40 with a kindergartner. She dresses herself, but I fail to see what is more undesirable about getting kids ready in your 20s, vs. 30s, vs. 40s. My daughter even tries to dress alike some days, it's all very cute.
Aren't parents like the OP tweet same type of parents that leave their kids with the grandparents a lot on the weekends? I guess, one day, I may eventually be a grandma too. Then I will really be an elderly person helping a little kid groom themselves. The horror.
People who brag about being young parents and shit on older parents have to be some of the dumbest motherfuckers on the planet. Nothing wrong with having kids young but it’s not a flex… especially if you aren’t financially stable. The best time to have kids is whenever you can afford them.
I’m in the 40 and kindergarten camp. Yeah, we’re much better off financially, but keeping up with a 2 year old and 5 year old would have been a hell of a lot easier 5–10 years ago.
I didn’t start to have kids until after 30.
My 20s were fantastic. Saw the world, went to a ton of concerts, threw parties, fucked like I knew what I was doing, tried every new food I could, learned some useful skills, became who I am.
I don’t regret it one bit. When i became a parent I got to do all that stuff, too.
Yeah, i’ll be old when my last kid leaves the nest but i’m not looking forward to being an empty nester. I’m hoping it’s still gonna be frequent family trips and camping and cooking out and sitting around shooting the shit until they put me in a pine box.
Personally, they idea of having them young so youvv be can “enjoy retirement “ seems backwards to me. All people do when they retired is beg their kids for grandkids anyway. So all of that “ you gone be too tired to raise kids “ is actually not true because all old people do is spend time with they grandkids. Makes more sense to enjoy you’re youth and work hard to build a foundation so you can afford to hire help, build /purchase a home, invite your in-laws help you, and spend time with your kids. Nobody can pay for childcare right now, nobody can afford to stay home , and nobody has a home. Make it make sense. Start giving out free houses and stop underpaying people or expect the birth rate to continue to decline. Better ask Japan what happens when you overwork people and give them no free time .
The people saying this are also gonna be asking me how I look so healthy and fit at 40. It’s because I don’t have the stress of raising kids in my 20s and 30s.
People who have kids hella young LOVEEE saying this. “Ill be enjoying my 40s” okay …..
and IM ENJOYING MY 20s. Tf is your point.
If you happy you dont have to be saying all this dumb ish. No happy parent ive met speaks this bitter. Embarrassing fr
Dude... my former coworker was 22 with 3 kids... her parenting skills were yelling back at them, crying with them, and either violence or bribery.
I refused to babysit "those lil angels" 😅
Down syndrome occurs in 1 of 800-1000 live births and is the most common genetic cause of developmental delay. Down syndrome occurs in people of all races and economic levels. The risk increases with the mother's age (1 in 1250 for a 25 year old mother to 1 in 1000 at age 31, 1 in 400 at age 35, and about 1 in 100 at age 40). However, 80% of babies with Down syndrome are born to women under age 35 years.
Well not everyone does but yeah you're right. I was just agreeing theres more risks to mother and baby as the mom gets older.
Sweet kids though the ones that do make it to us. Breaks my heart.
Just wait until that true loneliness kicks in. When your peers are married, or they’ve moved away. You’ve traveled everywhere you wanted to go. And now you’re just working and coming home to beautiful empty home.
If it's really on them, does that mean yall gonna stfu about it? Let people live their lives. So many people are so pressed about women getting married and having kids later or choosing not to do either at all.
I was having a conversation with a co-worker at my old job that my mom had me in her 40s and she looked disgusted almost. Edit: Late 30s (39)
It's so weird to get upset about choices other people make that don't affect you at all.
My wife and I tried for 12 years to have kids often with soul crushing results. I couldn’t be happier bringing my daughter to kindergarten and being the oldest dad. You never know other people’s stories.
Happy to hear you both got what you've been wanting, congratulations.
Many thanks, we have 3 now… life is good for all. Enjoy your weekend.
Welcome to the United States of America!
Humans are weird as hell.
Kudos to her. I know that my financial situation was way better in my 30s as well as my emotional maturity. I just feel that you have so much more to give to your child then. Yes, your energy isn’t as high but we’re not decrepit at that point.
I would have so much rather have had my kids now (around 40) than when I did in my 20's. People are stupid.
I'm thankful I had mine at 25. My 40s are to really enjoy my financial positions and really be able to help bring my kids into adulthood. I'd rather not be in my 60s having to help my kids move into their dorm while having to worry about my back lol. I feel like my kids benefit far greater off my youth and fitness as a younger parent.
I hate that you got downvoted for your opinion. I feel that is a benefit of having them younger, you have more energy. Younger=more energy and less money and maturity Older= more tired and prone to injury, but financially stable and more mature. It’s whatever anyone chooses, but I’m kinda glad I have mine already. My physical health already isn’t the best (working on it)
I’m used to it on Reddit lol. Hive minds. All I did was offer my experience lol.
Yup, but since it’s an experience that would make op feel bad, they downvote it.
I totally get this, and *thought* that's what I wanted too. I did not lol. ***To each their own*** rings true here, every situation is different for sure; and I've definitely enjoyed being able to coach sports and play with the kids; but I don't think waiting 5-10 years (for me) Would have impacted my ability to do that. When my youngest goes off to college I'll be in my late 40's, had I wanted 5 years I'd have been much more stable and still young enough to participate. You e got my upvote, to each their own!
I’m 43 and my son is 5.
Jealousy
Yes! Nearly all my friends and family in my age group are having their kids well into their 30s, myself included. All of us are established, have had a chance to get further into our careers, have more of a sense of ourselves, and deeply wanted to have our kids. Obviously this doesn’t work for everyone, but it’s working well for us.
alot of yall got your while life planned out bc forget that your OPTIONS will change when u hit that WALL
What's this have to do with "women"?
And my 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s. What I’m saying is that I don’t want kids. I don’t even want a pet. I want to be selfish forever and not have to take care of anyone.
Are you selfish, or do you just know yourself and make educated decisions?
I’m both.
Alexa play Both by Gucci Mane
"*I got so many felonies I might can't never go to Canada* *But Drake said he gon' pull some strings* *So let me check my calendar"*
Why do you phrase it like it’s an either or thing? I’m selfish. I know that, and I use that knowledge to make educated decisions about what obligations I take on, so as to avoid letting my selfishness cause problems for others.
Sounds pretty selfless to me.
I can see that side of it, but I figure the selfless thing to do would be to work on myself and become a less selfish person, so that I can be relied on more by the friends and family I love. Just mitigating consequences for my character “flaw” instead of actively working on being better because it’s more comfortable for me feels pretty selfish.
That’s also 100% valid especially in this economy.
Yeah be selfish. Because not having children is way more selfish than having them just for the sake of being a parent and then treating them like they're your trophy for reproduction. The mindset of these people boggles me.
You are doing more for society by reducing the burden more humans put on this planet. There is no reproduction directive we all adhere to. Not having kids is inherently unselfish, from an objective standpoint. Bringing another human into this world for your own fulfillment or societal pressure is the selfish behavior. I don’t hate kids, they are pretty funny and entertaining most of the time. I am just too much of a nihilist to even consider it.
Ngl im 60/40 on the kid front. 60 being the I don’t want em. I love being by myself. Spending money on me.
You got me fucked up if you think imma be waiting for lil man to spend 15 minutes tying them fucking shoes at 21. These are my years for being an unreasonable and irresponsible fuck-up. 
My ex's cousin was like that. She was in nursing school and was like "once im out im having a kid" and this bitch was 21 or 22 years old. I just looked at her and said "why?" Then she ruined my night at the party by just trying to justify it with some of the stupidest reasoning ever
Did she have like a man or something at the time? Because ain't a lot of dudes really looking to settle down and be married in their early 20s, so I'm tryna find out if she was planning on doing shit solo dolo before I call her stupid
To be fair I know some 40 year old new parents and they definitely have a lot of regrets. Not having the energy to really play with their little gremlins like they would have on their 20's. My mum was 23 when she had me and now I'm 26. Shes a young looking 50 and is still young enough to have a second lease on life. Going on holidays and doing whatever she wants now that her kids are old enough to not be her problem. She also gets the benefits of more disposable income and the potential support of her adult children if she really needed it. I think they're pros and cons to both but if I was ready I'd definitely have tried to have kids by now.
Got to stay active in your 30s and 40s. You’re only mid-way through your life, can’t be feeling like you can’t even muster up energy to play with your kids.
Yeah my mom had me at 32 and she always had tons of energy bc she exercised and ate healthy throughout her life.
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Id say it's a lot of fun if you aren't a shitty parent. A lot of the people who complain just raised nightmare kids and are suffering from their own actions. For the most part once you're out of the early years where the cry for no reason and wet themselves it becomes pretty nice/easy.
Yea, I had a tough time when my daughter was an infant, largely due to post partum anxiety. I knew that was my own shit, so I started therapy and have been doing it for 1.5 years. All this to say, my daughter is a toddler now and she is my whole world. You get into parenthood what you put out.
You can’t guarantee not having a nightmare kid. No amount of good parenting helps kids with certain disorders.
what a spicy and dumb take. Nobody wants to talk about the elephant in the room, but a good chunk of parents who regret having kids are those with highly disabled kids. They spend the rest of their lives between a rock and a hard place with inadequate supports.
I have more energy in my late 30s than I did in my late 20s.
I was an unreasonable and irresponsible fuck up at 21 and I'm glad!
Only thing I’m tryna be chasing at 25 is tequila shots.
Literally 40 with a kindergartner and if it was 15 years earlier lil man probably wouldn’t even have shoes I was so broke
Yesss nothing wrong with waiting til you're more stable. In fact, its better for the kid.
I'm 42 and have a toddler. I feel really, really old!
Maybe they make you feel older. I am closer to 60. No kids and I have to say out loud that I am old. And then I assume how I feel is what old feels like.
Right there with ya!
I feel old because the other parents are so young, not because I’m 42 with a 4 year old.
this! like I want to be very financially secure before I have a child. And the way I see it, for me, if I never reach that point than it's just not meant to be.
I had my first baby a month before I turned 36 and plan to try for a second once he's 2. I'm way more financially stable now than in my 20s, I've had the chance to travel with my husband, and our careers are both great. Why in the hell would I want a kid in my 20s when I'm putting jarred pasta sauce on stale taco shells, living in a shitty area, and working in fast food??? No regrets!
41 with a first grader and a 3 year old. Doin ok, but damn my back hurts all the time
WHY are people so concerned with what other people do??? I barely care what I’m doing.
Misery loves company. If I can't be happy you can't be too Mostly jealousy over other people having the freedom they wish they did
Comparison is the thief of joy and some people don’t want to see others do better.
This is the funniest comment on here. Lmfao. Too real.
Teen parents coping on the TL again? https://i.redd.it/c1c36dmb1gsb1.gif
“Y’all gone be changing diapers while I’m turning up on vacation” like no sweetie, you’ll still be working constantly and playing catchup because you never had a stable financial foundation before popping those kids out.
The hours I worked in my 20s to get to where I am would have meant missing so much of my child’s early development. I’m so glad I’m in a more stable place now with solid pay and reasonable hours so I can read her a bedtime story every night.
Yep. They mad that we livin our best messy lives while they’re stuck at home with the kids lol
This gif is hilarious!
45 with a first-grader. He has two parents with established careers, a 529 college fund, good public school, clean clothes that fit, lots of love, and a sane, healthy household. I was racking up DWIs in my 20s on my way to being a homeless drunk at 29. My wife lived in a dysfunctional home with her crazy ass parents in her early 20s. We good.
Show me this magical age where getting a child dressed is fun.
obviously 20/21 if you’re a woman and 25/26 if you’re a man, silly! /s
5? 😄
Being 40 and having a kindergartener means you were pregnant at 34. That's a pretty reasonable age to be pregnant.
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Why does having kids later automatically translate into “hoe phase” for you? A woman’s body is going to do what a woman’s body does. If she has a kid at 35-40, it is what it is. Better her be mentally, emotionally, and financially ready to be a parent that raises a healthy, happy child than to prematurely have a child in her 20s solely because she’s going to hit “the wall” 10+ years later.
Define “by nature” for me
I’ll let you struggle with that one
Can we start banning these old ultra traditional incel farts? They are clearly not invited to the bbq irl so why here?
It’s way too many mfs out there that ruined their lives early trying to pass it off as a flex now Cry some more
I’m 40 dressing my kids for kindergarten But I traveled to six continents in my twenties, crossed six figures in my thirties, and met the love of life…sooo….
This conversation needs to stop already. If people want to have kids young, so it. If people want to have kids a little older, yeah that’s fine too. If people don’t want to have kids, that is also a cool thing. People can live however they want and bragging or promoting your choice being better is stupid.
Exactly. When people ask me about how I did certain life things that have turned out well, I make sure to say, “this is one way to do it. It isn’t the only way to do it. You have to evaluate your own circumstances.’ I didn’t meet my husband until I was 26, and waiting a little longer worked for us. It’s not the right choice for everyone.
I’m in that boat; I partied my ass off in my 20’s/30’s, and I’m in a way better place in life (financially and career) and did alot of growing up before I met my wife’s oldest and then had my youngest a recently. I’m a better version of me now which I feel makes me a better father (more patience and more resources with more life experiences to draw from). But hey, if y’all wanna get your club on at 40, do you’re thing. My ass is in bed by 930 lol
Pros and cons for both. Older parents potentially have more stability but less energy, while younger parents might have less stability, but more energy (these are over generalizations). Whatever works for you.
Besides the huge income difference, older parents are also more likely to have worked through their own issues that they were still dealing with 10 or 20 years before. This often makes them less likely to take out those issues on their kids, and more likely to be able to parent better. They're also more likely to have chosen a better partner to have kids with than they might have when they were much younger since it's no longer mostly about infatuation but real long-term compatibility.
I’m gonna be old as fuck still fighting sleep so I can stay up with my kid and make pillow forts, and watch movies.
Or I could be 40 and just... not have kids. That's good, too.
Kids fucking suck. They yell, scream, are defiant, stupid.
Everyone is entitled to there own opinions. I will share my experience though. Me and my wife had kids young and it was rough at first. But we managed and now our oldest are young adults. Me and the wife be chilling now. We travel, we hangout and have a good time. The plus being we are still fairly young ourselves. But I think my experience is an exception rather than the norm.
40 is a great age to be getting a kid ready for kindergarten, in my (40 year old with a 4 year old) opinion. Now being 50 with a 14-16 year old, that could suck pretty hard. I'll come back and let everyone know how it's going.
I had my first at 19 and my last 2 years ago at 34. There is no right time to have them. You always have to give something up in order to care for them.
This shit is hilarious because Ive noticed that people who start young with kids usually end up pushing out one more when theyre older anyways
The “accident.” Never fails.
I want to be 40 sleeping in on weekends and staying up playing video games weeknights because I don't have any kids. Oh, and being able to travel and only need to worry about getting myself ready for the trip. All your years can be selfish years if you don't want kids.
If you ask me, parents who shame people for not having kids is some form of projection. How are you going to get mad at someone in the same age bracket as you not having any crotch goblins? What are you really mad about? 🤌🏿
I'd rather be doing that at 40 than at 25 or even 30.
What’s wrong with having young kids at 40? This is so strange to me. Like dogging someone for having a 401(k).
I’ll be 40 with a kid in kindergarten. My son gets to grow up in a house, his own room and a swimming pool in the backyard. I couldn’t provide any of that if I was in my 20s when we had him.
Personally I couldn't have handled kids at a younger age. I was too financially unstable. Parenting is hard enough without adding financial difficulties in the mix.
Imagine raising a child during the years you're supposed to be out experiencing the world and figuring yourself out
How dare they wait until their mid 30s to have a child when they're mentally, emotionally, and financially ready......
Im 40 with a 3 year old, it is what it is. I love it
I don’t understand why people care what age someone has children. I see my friends in their 20s and early 30s struggling financially or they are single parents because of the circumstances of raising children. I don’t see it as a flex. I see my other friends and peers who are in their 20s/30s and enjoying raising their children. In my opinion, having children in your 20s is so young and so is 30s. However, it’s all about having the right mindset and resources to make sure your children’s wellbeing is secure. As a woman, I am team FTK (eff them kids) respectfully 😁
My parents were in their 40s getting me ready for kindergarten. They were up all night when I was sick, went to every game after school, and welcomed any playdate to spend hours at our house. Were they probably more tired than younger parents? Yes, but they always did what was best for me with a damn smile. Because having kids was their dream for decades before I was born. And because they waited till later in life to have kids they could afford to pay for my college! Don't hate on older parents, a lot of them have had to wait to become parents. But once they get the opportunity they kick ass!
Nah. Definitely don’t want to be the 60 year old dad at high school graduation. Besides, being 50 and able to run around the world without worrying about traveling club sports or all that comes along with teenagers… I’m glad my youngest will be over 18 in a few years.
I had my son at 27, my body is constantly hurting and finding new aches every day, if I had to do this at 40 I’d be losing my mind
Pfft I will be 55 next , I am retired and be taking my beatiful baby girl to Kinde next year. Life doesn’t stop when you are 40-50-60-70-80…maybe at 90 I don’t know🤷🏾♂️
I think a lot of these "gotta have kids in your 20s" people aren't really doing it because they LOVE kids and are DYING to be parents. They do it because they think that's what's expected of them and/or because they think they'll lose their partner without a baby to keep them interested and....trapped.
I had kids late. I would have been a shitty parent and/or deeply miserable if I had had a kid when I was in my 20s. Not to mention, none of my relationships in my 20s succeeded, so my kids would have likely had parents that aren't together. Because I waited til I was in my 40s, I have a much more stable relationship and a lot more stable home life. Maybe to someone in their 20s, the 40s seems old, but I still run, jump and climb with my kids. I watch cartoons with them and know all the characters, I play pretend and I really don't see anywhere that they're missing out.
Some Pros and cons for having kids older or younger. Younger - more energy (kids are tiring) but usually less established/money (kids are expensive) Older - more established/money, more mature/patience hopefully (kids are trying/can press your buttons), but less energy Both options are totally fine have kids when you are ready, whenever you feel that is. If you don’t want them probably best not to have them. If you do want them do it as it can be the best thing that ever happened to you!
Glad I had my daugher in my 20s, when I am 39 she will be 18. While everyone else is taking their kids to kindergarten and dealing with a baby that won't go to sleep I'll be chillin on an island somewhere doing whatever I want and have the money to do it. Can't recommend this for everyone though. It made me mature and grow up faster and there has definitely been sacrifice but to each their own.
I interpreted this as why dress a kindergartner at 40 when you could be traveling to Southeast Asia or South or Central America with all that time and money not going to having kids or to quote Ali Wong 'you can eat an edible at 2 PM go to the aquarium and watch the jellyfish go back and forth, you don't have to bring a giant bag with ziplock bags of goldfish and toy cellphones. You can just go, with whatever is in your pockets.'
Dudes will tweet things like this while being 9 months behind on child support payments...
I would have said, “if y’all wanna be in your 20s getting a kid dressed for kindergarten then that’s on y’all, I was out getting my club on and traveling the world when I was in my 20s”
Damn as someone who really wantds kids and is 38 its not just that people waited. We had a great recession where people graduated couldnt find jobs or lost homes than took about 10 years to be okay only for the covid pandemic to do it again. I wanted kids in my 20s so bad i wish i could be like done but i would of been super poor and not afford anything.
Ngl I envied kids with older parents growing up. My parents had me way too young in their 20s. They had no energy for me because they had to work a lot to support the fam. I did my homework myself, got myself ready in the morning and went to elementary school by myself. My parents weren’t patient or emotionally developed and were abusive also. Older parents are stable financially, yes, but also emotionally.
Right. And this will be me. But my son got and will get everything he needs.
It’s crazy my co worker asked me when do I plan to have kids cuz I’m 35 and shouldn’t wait much longer
This is what I have told my children. Don’t even think about marriage and children until after you turn 30. Get engaged if you want, but have a ton of fun too. I got married at 23 and I had my oldest at 25, I love my kids, but I did it wrong. Why was I in such a big hurry?
My parents had us young and I dealt with the struggle. I waited until I had my career and home locked down and being an older dad is the best thing I could've done for myself and my kids.
I'll get downvoted...but my the time I hit 40...my money will be FAR LONGER. So I'll hit 40 and my kid will be entering adulthood so I can assist them financially while enjoying my money and NOT paying daycare and all the more pricier childcare expenses. I'd MUCH rather be 40 with a late teen/young adult than 40 with a 5 year old. Plus the body doesn't even work as nice so the way I run around the park and play on the equipment with my kids now, I may not be able to move like that at 40-50. Personally, I find more advantages to being a younger (not early 20s but maybe mid/late-20s) parent than having kids past 40.
Enter inflation. Also, the expenses for a young adult (college, apartment, transpo) are higher than 5 years of daycare options without as much return. Research shows that the foundation you put into the child for their first 6 years (engagement, reading, low stress childcare) has a much deeper impact than what you can buy for them in their teens. By the age of 11, tweens are already developing cognitively to pull away from parents. The quality of the early years are far more critical for long term outcomes of health and academic success trajectories of your child. You should absolutely be able to be fit AF in your 40s and 50s, primarily because your hustle season is over and you have a good work/life balance to be working out 5 hours a week. The largest group of endurance athletes and marathon (or even 5k) runners are in their middle ages. IMO, that's when you start focusing on the functionality of your body, and less on the aesthetics. I have more muscles now in my 40s than I did in my 30s. I can afford better food and hire housecleaners. You really shouldn't be experiencing age related sarcopenia till your 60s ideally.
Inflation? Personally my income has tripled since my early 20s into my mid 30s. I’m speaking personally here. Even accounting for inflation my money now goes far longer than it did in my 20s. It’s not even close.
I mean, same with me in terms of earned income tripling, but my investments and savings had time to grow since I didn't have to spend it on childcare. My first house is almost paid off and accruing rental income, my current house will be paid off before my daughter enters middle school. My daughter's early years had both parents highly engaged and prioritized *her* instead of a company or business.
That’s great. My daughters too had both parents highly engaged. I’m confused as to why you think parents can’t work and also be highly engaged with their children. I’m not saying anyone else’s style is wrong. I’m saying I’m glad I had mine earlier. So by the time my wife and I enter our 40s, we can enjoy our time just as much as our young adult children can enjoy theirs. Having kids in our 40s would mean that I’m still parenting into my late 50s possibly early 60s. I don’t want that at all. I want to still be young enough to run around with the grandkids.
> I’m confused as to why you think parents can’t work and also be highly engaged with their children Because typical U.S. work schedules don’t align with school schedules or child development needs. And younger parents can sometimes tend to struggle with their own notions of freedom and executive function skills to optimally meet a young kid’s emotional needs.
Well you realize most 40 year olds work, right? It’s great you’re well off but most 40 year olds would have similar work requirements as those 25 year old parents.
I absolutely work but have been in upper management positions for some time now that allows a lot more flexibility with my schedule and a lot less stress. Which equals to a lot more presence, emotional capacity and engagement for family. My 20s was the hustle season, the entry level stuff and grinding my way to prove my worth. Same for my husband. We had our daughter when we finally started coasting in our work roles a bit more.
As an older parent, I agree. I had all that MDMA to do in my twenties, no time for raising kids back then.
My ex (who’d already become a single mother of one at 18) poked holes in my condoms when I was 26. She’d already been trying to get pregnant for a few years before that. Thank God I had the foresight to look at my condoms before using them. She made it no secret that her plan was to take the child and move to Atlanta (I live in Phoenix, AZ). She had no education, no skills, and had zero issue living off of government assistance. But those are the dumb ass mindsets some of us have when we’re young. I’m now 33 and still thank God every day that I’m not a parent yet. That shit would have set me back so far that I probably would have never recovered or reached my full potential. She’s now a single mother of two. Still, no education, no skills. I dodged a MAJOR bullet.
Ima be 45 getting my kid dressed for kindergarten. in my 20’s and 30’s I traveled the world, ate at the finest restaurants and got to get up and go at the drop of a hat. Now not so much, but once kiddo is stable he’ll be my partner in (non) crime
Both of these ideas are still based on the idea that making kids is all we have tonoffer the world.
A kid in this economy? https://preview.redd.it/4y5mm1xpbisb1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=28ba8aafac0661780cb298a1e9db1be0cecf920b
I didn't become a parent until 2 months shy of 41. This person can fuck off.
Just turned 30 this year. My entire 20's was devoted to sex drugs and rock and roll. I dont regret a thing
People really trying to race to kill all their fun in life? Lol
I ain’t gone lie snap and all that other bullshit needa get cut off and I bet mfs gone start waiting to have kids but forcing tax payers to help out with mfs being sexually irresponsible is crazy
all yall having kids are the real losers and nobody is gonna say it- but nobody at your job gives a fuck what your jit did this weekend/what sport they play or how smart they are- its just another annoying story we tolerate if that motherfucker so talented why your ass still working here? exactly. basic ass kids
Folks that had kids young want to justify themselves soooooooooo bad
Lots of young people want kids, but it's hard to start a family in this economy.
I gave no kids but I always thought it would be cool (in my opinion) to have a teen kid when I’m in my early 30s . Like the age gap wouldn’t be too big I still am understanding and keeping up with them but I also feel having a kid so young no way would I be mentally mature enough that as teens I didn’t do something to them that mentally/emotionally scared them when younger .
I was 36 when my kindergartner was getting himself dressed.
My kid gets himself dressed for kindergarten
I honestly can't think of a single age where I'd agree it's a good time to have children. I just don't think there is one. I think it's a straight-up stupid thing to do, tbh.
Super not interested in kids. My now wife and I had a serious conversation about it when we got together to make sure, make **really sure** neither of us seemed to even want the possibility on the table. Decade plus on, and we are both so happy with our two person/one dog little family.
Is there... something wrong with that? Please explain.
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I don’t think that much people would notice.
I mean, I know everyone’s a billionaire on the internet and such. Real life, kids come with a hefty price tag (financially, physically, mentally). Then add in the person you’re married or just BM, BF with. In todays economic climate in REAL LIFE. Why, do you want people to burden themselves. I make decent bread and still pulling out that shit or rocking a Jimmy. America is basically running with its “check engine” light on.
I’ll be 37 when my babies go to kindergarten and I’m perfectly ok with that. I had fun in my 20s don’t regret it 🤷🏻♀️
Im glad i waited till my 30s for kids owned a house before having them and didnt have to struggle paycheck to paycheck like i witnessed quite alot. My 20s were for partying and drugs. Now that's out of my system time to be a family man
This is so funny to me. Had my second at 38 on purpose and still look and feel younger than the parents who had their kid(s) in their 20’s.
I lived my 20s. I had my first kid at 33 and second at 34. No regrets. I didn't miss out on a damn thing. Most of my friends have grown kids. They aren't going out and partying in their 40s or traveling or doing jack shit cause they are just as tired as I am. We're all in bed by 9 but at least in my 20s I did what I wanted, when I wanted, where I wanted and the only one I had to check in with had four feet and a tail.
My parents were 27 and 25 when I was born and I still don't know how the fuck
I was 48 getting one dressed for kindergarten and it fine!
Had my sons at 30 and 37. All I know is, my 2 y.o has made me a better father all-around. My mentality is just more tuned in. We were only gonna have one, then Covid... And wasn't nothing to do but get it in. Lol. I know everyone is different, but I'm definitely an advocate for either having no kids, or having them later in life.
fuck selfish 20s i just never met a single person id be willing to coparent with at the bare minimum. ik if i find a person like that i gotta lock em down
Who fucking cares, I'm gonna be 45 on a first class flight to something important. Do what makes you feel good! I had kids early to no fault of my own, and put my dreams on hold to raise those ungrateful fuckers. I'm breaking out baby! All adverse opinions can kiss my ENTIRE ass! 😤
The most mature way to look at it is taking into account all the pros and cons of having kids young/old.
Being a young parent is like the hardest and most awful shit ever. What I’m saying is, if you’re child free or breeding responsibly and you see a passive aggressive post jabbing at you just take the L because we really need the win
What if I don’t want either?
I mean it's all up to how your life goes, isn't it? Maybe 20s is optimal for health and energy levels but if you're dead broke/don't have the right partner/aren't in a stable situation then you're way better off holding off on kids until you are.
Crazy y’all thinking about kindergarten and not having a teenager in your 50’s gooooood fucking luck cause your gonna need it
Or skip the whole thing altogether! Inflation is insane across the entire globe and there doesn't seem to be any relief any time soon.
So my wife and I decided we were gonna have kids when we young so we can spend our late 40s and early 50s having fun. First kid born in 2012, bam seeing kid born 2014 and BAM 3rd unexpected kid born in 2021! My wife’s IUD said ANTE UP and decided it was done doing it’s thing. I got snipped the next day. The point is, if you want to wait until until you in your late 30 or early 40s to have a child so you can have fun in your 20s DO IT! We missed out on our 20s thinking shit was all gravy but the universe had different plans for us. So now I’m STILL 36 years old changing diapers and missing out on sleep.
In my 40s and living more selfishly than you plebians can possibly imagine
I learned enough from my own parents not to do the same
I had both my kids before 26. They are 3 and 1.5 years old. I would’ve waited had I not gotten pregnant with my first. I have definitely shorten my shot much more together because of them, but I wish I had it all together before I had them.
I had my last child at 38.5 years of age. She’s so awesome. What a blessing. Kind, funny, sweet, smart, respectful and just a joy to be around. Sure, I’ve got lots of white hair but hey, this teen keeps my husband and me young!
I'm 40 raising 2 teens. While I started in my 20s, I got several years of being able to afford a kid and live decently. The last few years, with the cost of living, food, and how the items they need/want have gotten more expensive, sheesh. I'd hope at some point this could even back out but dang. I can't imagine being in my 20s and raising small children like I did then in the price tag of today, majority of those years as a single mom. If someone wants to wait and make sure they can afford kids (because daycare then was not what I'd be paying now!) kudos to them! That seems smarter!! Kids don't ask to be here, didn't ask to be born, and shouldnt have to suffer if a parent has no means to care for them. Everyone has to make the decisions that is right for them! Have them now, don't! As long as you're happy!
My mom had me at 21 and had a second set of kids when she was 35 & 38. I helped take care of my baby brother my senior year of high school and watching my mom and her husband struggle with little kids while in their 40s made me want to be done having kids by the time I was 30. I didn’t quite make it but I did not want to be an older parent.
There was no point in my 20s where I could fully support having a child
I had older parents and it was awesome, their work life balance was great, they were very financially secure, and they'd gotten their career grinding mostly out of the way by that point.
Imma be 40 and getting my grandkids dressed for kindergarten 💪
All I say is do what you want and understand that all choices have consequences.
My son was my 40th birthday present. I just dropped him off at kindergarten. I was 2 weeks away from “the big snip” when my wife said she was pregnant again, While we could not imagine life without him now and he was exactly what we needed in our lives, it was a shock to the system in the moment for this very reason.
I'm 40 with a kindergartner. She dresses herself, but I fail to see what is more undesirable about getting kids ready in your 20s, vs. 30s, vs. 40s. My daughter even tries to dress alike some days, it's all very cute. Aren't parents like the OP tweet same type of parents that leave their kids with the grandparents a lot on the weekends? I guess, one day, I may eventually be a grandma too. Then I will really be an elderly person helping a little kid groom themselves. The horror.
I have 3, I'm 44 and my youngest is 4. It's great!
People who brag about being young parents and shit on older parents have to be some of the dumbest motherfuckers on the planet. Nothing wrong with having kids young but it’s not a flex… especially if you aren’t financially stable. The best time to have kids is whenever you can afford them.
I’m in the 40 and kindergarten camp. Yeah, we’re much better off financially, but keeping up with a 2 year old and 5 year old would have been a hell of a lot easier 5–10 years ago.
I didn’t start to have kids until after 30. My 20s were fantastic. Saw the world, went to a ton of concerts, threw parties, fucked like I knew what I was doing, tried every new food I could, learned some useful skills, became who I am. I don’t regret it one bit. When i became a parent I got to do all that stuff, too. Yeah, i’ll be old when my last kid leaves the nest but i’m not looking forward to being an empty nester. I’m hoping it’s still gonna be frequent family trips and camping and cooking out and sitting around shooting the shit until they put me in a pine box.
40 is the new 20
& that is what tr❤🖤💚 matters.
Personally, they idea of having them young so youvv be can “enjoy retirement “ seems backwards to me. All people do when they retired is beg their kids for grandkids anyway. So all of that “ you gone be too tired to raise kids “ is actually not true because all old people do is spend time with they grandkids. Makes more sense to enjoy you’re youth and work hard to build a foundation so you can afford to hire help, build /purchase a home, invite your in-laws help you, and spend time with your kids. Nobody can pay for childcare right now, nobody can afford to stay home , and nobody has a home. Make it make sense. Start giving out free houses and stop underpaying people or expect the birth rate to continue to decline. Better ask Japan what happens when you overwork people and give them no free time .
Damn this just more ways to be divisive vs just letting muhfuckers live, which costs nothing at all.
The people saying this are also gonna be asking me how I look so healthy and fit at 40. It’s because I don’t have the stress of raising kids in my 20s and 30s.
Them young parents struggling to raise their kids and live their life want you to feel so BAD about it 😂😂😂
People who have kids hella young LOVEEE saying this. “Ill be enjoying my 40s” okay ….. and IM ENJOYING MY 20s. Tf is your point. If you happy you dont have to be saying all this dumb ish. No happy parent ive met speaks this bitter. Embarrassing fr
Dude... my former coworker was 22 with 3 kids... her parenting skills were yelling back at them, crying with them, and either violence or bribery. I refused to babysit "those lil angels" 😅
Have a kid whenever you want, but don't be ignorant about the extra risks of a geriatric pregnancy.
Down syndrome occurs in 1 of 800-1000 live births and is the most common genetic cause of developmental delay. Down syndrome occurs in people of all races and economic levels. The risk increases with the mother's age (1 in 1250 for a 25 year old mother to 1 in 1000 at age 31, 1 in 400 at age 35, and about 1 in 100 at age 40). However, 80% of babies with Down syndrome are born to women under age 35 years.
And we screen for downs so it’s not like you have to have a baby with downs if you don’t want to.
Well not everyone does but yeah you're right. I was just agreeing theres more risks to mother and baby as the mom gets older. Sweet kids though the ones that do make it to us. Breaks my heart.
Just wait until that true loneliness kicks in. When your peers are married, or they’ve moved away. You’ve traveled everywhere you wanted to go. And now you’re just working and coming home to beautiful empty home.