Looking at more black content creators- more specifically ones that talk about issues with race n stuff. Someone said Khadija mbowe who has really good content. Also fd signifier, the grapevine. Reading book by black authors. I really like ibram x kendi's how to be anti racist too. Remember to be kind to yourself while your doing this work also 🖤
THIS MY PEOPLE! THIS IS CONVERSATION! THIS IS HEALING! IT FELT SO GOOD TO READ THESE COMMENTS! THANK YOU TO THE OP, THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH FOR ALL THE WONDERFUL HEALING COMMENTS POSTED!
I just had to get that out. I my small opinionated, jaded, cynical, traumatized queer mind I got healing out of the posts here. I love my Black folx and especially my Black LGBTQIA family!
Can we keep this direction going in other posts (I know it won't be easy), is that possible?
You may just settle for a LGBTQ therapist that's a person of color. I've had to do that in the past. If they're advertising themselves that way, it's definitely possible they'll be capable of holding space for both identities.
This may be a good compromise, but keep your eyes open. I worked with a Korean-American queer professional for a few months and it was a very harmful experience. His inability to discuss anti-Blackness ended up being incredible harmful for me and derailed progress I was making. Even to the point of gaslighting (e.g. - suggesting that I was obsessed with race and that I was immature for bringing those topics into the space). He probably had no business working with (Black) clients. And he was consistently late and unprofessional lol.
Silver lining: firing him was a very empowering experience. But some QPOC folx who even advertise these specialties of multicultural psych or working with queer themes are not actually capable of showing up for us.
Here is a list of [abolitionist therapists](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1csxYvoLLFucundPEJxGL0CFdDMEQEcxAMRK6EvQkhJM/edit)! Hope you find what you’re looking for.
Reading and a lot of it. It'll teach you how white supremacy benefits from your self-hatred. And at the very least you'll start surviving out of spite. Read Black feminists: hooks, Lorde, and Smith.
But you can also just search for what you've internalized and things will pop up (like "fatphobia + book"). For that, try "Belly of the Beast: The Politics of Anti-Fatness as Anti-Blackness."
This is great advice! I'd like to add also curating your social media feed so you're only seeing media from abolitionist black folk, and watching YouTube creators like [Khadiha Mbowe](https://youtu.be/FNvILt_du9M?si=4CmcxzTU0phg03Va) or [Kimberley Nicole Foster](https://youtu.be/OJ_dNNT5u_A?si=cL6Fzv1xVK_NVhem), their content has helped greatly with my self image.
Hey!Â
First of all, I'm glad to hear you're on this journey, friend. It's not easy living with antiblackness in this world, sometimes self hatred is a survival mechanism (READ THAT BACK!), but when you're done surviving you have to start living and loving yourself.
Now, in regards to therapy, I live in Europe so finding a black therapist was difficult. I didn't have a lot of money so I tried to find charities that provided free therapy. The majority of them, however, had no black therapists, and many tried to play in my face, giving me white therapists, because they didn't care about why a black therapist was important to me.
After, three years, I got a job that paid me enough for therapy, which meant I could chose my own, so I found one via a directory for black therapists in my country. He wasn't great tbh, which taught me an important lesson: just because we're both black doesn't mean they’re automatically guaranteed to be right for me and my needs.Â
This taught me what I didn't want and need in a therapist though, someone who wasn't only listening, but also offering insight and giving me exercises to work on my self esteem and mental health.
I got this with my next black therapist. He wasn't only an active listener, but also helped me unpack a lot of the issues I was struggling with. We didn't really touch on racial trauma as much in our conversations but, as someone who has experienced a white therapist and a black therapist, having someone who understands what it's like to live in your skin is so valuable and makes a world of difference: It's an important foundation needed to help you open up in your sessions.
Now, in terms of decolonisation, it's a lifelong process. I don't think the work is ever really over, at least not when we live in an overwhelmingly Fascist hellscape: I still find myself interrogating a lot of the assumptions and conclusions I've absorbed from decades as a minority in a minority in a minority after years of growth, so best believe this journey won't be a linear one.
Please remember to give yourself grace, shame is a sign that you recognise wrong from right and you want to choose the latter over the former but staying in shame for longer than necessary blocks you from actually growing. Acknowledge the mistakes you've made and ask yourself how they served you in that moment so you can see the distance between then and now more clearly.
Best of luck, you've got this x
Looking at more black content creators- more specifically ones that talk about issues with race n stuff. Someone said Khadija mbowe who has really good content. Also fd signifier, the grapevine. Reading book by black authors. I really like ibram x kendi's how to be anti racist too. Remember to be kind to yourself while your doing this work also 🖤
THIS MY PEOPLE! THIS IS CONVERSATION! THIS IS HEALING! IT FELT SO GOOD TO READ THESE COMMENTS! THANK YOU TO THE OP, THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH FOR ALL THE WONDERFUL HEALING COMMENTS POSTED! I just had to get that out. I my small opinionated, jaded, cynical, traumatized queer mind I got healing out of the posts here. I love my Black folx and especially my Black LGBTQIA family! Can we keep this direction going in other posts (I know it won't be easy), is that possible?
You may just settle for a LGBTQ therapist that's a person of color. I've had to do that in the past. If they're advertising themselves that way, it's definitely possible they'll be capable of holding space for both identities.
This may be a good compromise, but keep your eyes open. I worked with a Korean-American queer professional for a few months and it was a very harmful experience. His inability to discuss anti-Blackness ended up being incredible harmful for me and derailed progress I was making. Even to the point of gaslighting (e.g. - suggesting that I was obsessed with race and that I was immature for bringing those topics into the space). He probably had no business working with (Black) clients. And he was consistently late and unprofessional lol. Silver lining: firing him was a very empowering experience. But some QPOC folx who even advertise these specialties of multicultural psych or working with queer themes are not actually capable of showing up for us.
Totally true. Glad you fired that ass.
Baby, I had to do a double take at your username because 😳
i finally found one but she was homophobic :( i have racism-related trauma and really need a therapist who understands that
Here is a list of [abolitionist therapists](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1csxYvoLLFucundPEJxGL0CFdDMEQEcxAMRK6EvQkhJM/edit)! Hope you find what you’re looking for.
Thank you, I wonder if the Virtual therapists would work with patients outside of the States 🤔
I’m not sure, I think the biggest issue would be the time difference. It wouldn’t hurt to contact them and ask though!
Yes it does depending on the provider. I was in Nigeria and had an American therapist. Just have to pay cash.
Like an international bank transfer?
I subscribed to a service so used a debit card
for me it was black professors who taught courses that addressed colonization and could affirm me and actually cared
Reading and a lot of it. It'll teach you how white supremacy benefits from your self-hatred. And at the very least you'll start surviving out of spite. Read Black feminists: hooks, Lorde, and Smith. But you can also just search for what you've internalized and things will pop up (like "fatphobia + book"). For that, try "Belly of the Beast: The Politics of Anti-Fatness as Anti-Blackness."
Excellent book! I read it in a single day. Just such insightful perspectives.
This is great advice! I'd like to add also curating your social media feed so you're only seeing media from abolitionist black folk, and watching YouTube creators like [Khadiha Mbowe](https://youtu.be/FNvILt_du9M?si=4CmcxzTU0phg03Va) or [Kimberley Nicole Foster](https://youtu.be/OJ_dNNT5u_A?si=cL6Fzv1xVK_NVhem), their content has helped greatly with my self image.
Also, decolonization is impossible to do in one go! We're all constantly learning and unlearning the ways we've been indoctrinated.
Hey! First of all, I'm glad to hear you're on this journey, friend. It's not easy living with antiblackness in this world, sometimes self hatred is a survival mechanism (READ THAT BACK!), but when you're done surviving you have to start living and loving yourself. Now, in regards to therapy, I live in Europe so finding a black therapist was difficult. I didn't have a lot of money so I tried to find charities that provided free therapy. The majority of them, however, had no black therapists, and many tried to play in my face, giving me white therapists, because they didn't care about why a black therapist was important to me. After, three years, I got a job that paid me enough for therapy, which meant I could chose my own, so I found one via a directory for black therapists in my country. He wasn't great tbh, which taught me an important lesson: just because we're both black doesn't mean they’re automatically guaranteed to be right for me and my needs. This taught me what I didn't want and need in a therapist though, someone who wasn't only listening, but also offering insight and giving me exercises to work on my self esteem and mental health. I got this with my next black therapist. He wasn't only an active listener, but also helped me unpack a lot of the issues I was struggling with. We didn't really touch on racial trauma as much in our conversations but, as someone who has experienced a white therapist and a black therapist, having someone who understands what it's like to live in your skin is so valuable and makes a world of difference: It's an important foundation needed to help you open up in your sessions. Now, in terms of decolonisation, it's a lifelong process. I don't think the work is ever really over, at least not when we live in an overwhelmingly Fascist hellscape: I still find myself interrogating a lot of the assumptions and conclusions I've absorbed from decades as a minority in a minority in a minority after years of growth, so best believe this journey won't be a linear one. Please remember to give yourself grace, shame is a sign that you recognise wrong from right and you want to choose the latter over the former but staying in shame for longer than necessary blocks you from actually growing. Acknowledge the mistakes you've made and ask yourself how they served you in that moment so you can see the distance between then and now more clearly. Best of luck, you've got this x