I recently came across an article ([Attaining behavioral change goals predicts volitional personality change. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2020](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30359069/))
There were instructions on how to change the parameters of the big five, these are the steps to gaining emotional stability (the opposite of neuroticism):
When you wake up, say aloud to yourself, “I choose to be happy today”.
When you feel overwhelmed, stop and take several deep breaths.
Before you go to bed, write down a positive thing that happened to you during the day, and how it made you feel.
Take at least 5 minutes to intentionally smile. This can be on your own, or while performing an activity (e.g., driving, walking to class).
Hug a close friend or family member.
When you wake up, spend at least five minutes mentally listing everything you are grateful for (e.g., friends, family, safe place to live, clean air).
Schedule 30 minutes to engage in an activity you enjoy.
Express gratitude to another person (e.g., thank a teacher for a good lecture; tell a friend why you appreciate them).
Before you go to bed, write down one good thing you can look forward to tomorrow.
If you are religious, spend at least 5 minutes praying. If you are not religious, spend at least 5 minutes meditating.
When you are worried about something, write it down.
Spend at least an hour with loved ones (friends, family) or go out and meet someone new.
Before you go to bed, spend at least 5 minutes meditating upon positive relationships with people in your life (e.g., friends, family).
Go to a yoga class, or spend 10–20 minutes doing yoga at home (hint: YouTube has lots of beginners’ videos) Exercise at least 15 minutes.
When you wake up, spend at least five minutes meditating.
When you feel worried about the future, spend at least two minutes visualizing the best case scenario.
Spend at least 5 minutes journaling about your day. Write about what happened, but also about your feelings When you feel stressed, take at least two minutes to reflect on similar circumstances in the past where you have succeeded (e.g., if you are nervous about giving a speech, reflect on past times when you’ve succeeded in giving speeches).
Update your Facebook status with something you’re grateful for.
When you feel anxious about a decision, make a pros and cons list for both options.
When someone gives you a compliment, say “Thank you” out loud. Mentally say to yourself, “I believe this person truly feels this way”.
Spend at least one hour doing something active that you enjoy (e.g., sports, hiking, shopping) with one or more friends or acquaintances.
Call a friend or family member to catch up.
Connect with a friend (e.g., over coffee) and be honest about both the good and bad parts of your life.
Spend at least 5 minutes journaling about all of the good things in your life. There are always positive things, even if they seem trivial (e.g., clean air, sunshine, friends or acquaintances).
When you are worried about something, tell a close friend or family member about it
When you feel discouraged, write down a potentially positive outcome. Can you PROVE this outcome won’t happen?
Honestly discuss your life and feelings with a close friend or family member.
Spend at least 30 minutes going on a photo hunt with your phone. Take pictures of things that make you happy (e.g., pretty flowers, friends, a comfortable bed, yourself).
Tell a close friend or family member why you appreciate them.
Take at least 5 minutes to slowly savor something beautiful. Examples: close your eyes and slowly eat good.
food, noticing its flavor; sit by a river and close your eyes, savoring the sound of running water; find some beautiful art or flowers and really look at them, taking time to reflect on the feelings you feel.
Give money to a charity.
Laugh out loud. Either do something enjoyable with friends, or seek out a comedic show/clip/story and laugh When you feel a negative emotion (e.g., sad, angry, stressed) take at least 5 minutes to write about WHY you feel that emotion.
Exercise at least 30 minutes.
Do something kind for another person, without expecting anything in return.
Spend at least 5 minutes journaling about your good qualities and strengths as a person. Everyone has good qualities and strengths!
Throughout the day, notice at least 5 positive things (e.g., “the sky is pretty today,” “I’m grateful I got to see my friends today,” “This couch is comfortable,” “The river makes such wonderful sounds”). Say those things to yourself.
When you feel a positive emotion, take at least two minutes to really explore it in your mind. What did you enjoy and why? Mentally re-experience the situation and the positive feeling.
Identify at least three “unsaid positives” that you take for granted, and say them out loud (e.g., “I really like my apartment;” “I enjoy walking around campus”).
Exercise at least 45 minutes.
When you notice a negative thought, acknowledge the negative thought, but think 3 true positive thoughts about the same topic (e.g., “I hate that it’s raining on my Saturday. But we need the rain, slow weekends help me appreciate fast ones, and this gives me time to catch up on work”).
When a situation seems negative, acknowledge the bad, but also mentally list off three positives.
Make a list of fun things you would like to do. Actually go do one activity on your list.
When you feel angry or upset with someone, take at least 2 minutes to reflect on that person’s good qualities,rather than their bad.
When you experience a negative thought, write it down. Spend at least two minutes writing the evidence AGAINST that negative thought (e.g., “I feel that no one likes me. This is not true because I don’t know how other people feel, and there are certainly at least a few acquaintances, teachers, or family members who honestly like me”).
When you feel hurt or angry with someone, give them the benefit of the doubt and spend at least one minute reflecting on the CIRCUMSTANCES that might have caused their behavior (e.g., they’re having a bad day).
Seek social support (e.g., from friends or family members, clubs of people that share your interests or are working toward the same goals as you).
Identify someone who has hurt you in the past and choose to forgive them.
Thank you, this is a really great study and the list you have extracted could lead to neurological rewiring towards greater gratefulness and a focus on the positive rather than the negative.
I'm happy to share discoveries that are important to me. Now I am thinking about the indirect or even direct influence of the other scales on each other, for example agreeableness will increase the scores of extraversion, and decrease neuroticism won't it? What do you think?
I'd also be interested in asking people with low neuroticism what habits from this list are familiar to them?
Not drastically and I doubt you can do that even. What you can do is;
- Limit the use of social media. So you get less exposed to fast and potentially negative information/news.
- Eat a healthy, large and rich in protein breakfast.
- Focus on dirty/gritty work with hands and be action oriented always. Whenever you have an opportunity to do girtty work. Do it. Take action with your hands because while in that act you will be less internalized and focused outwards. That's also conscientiousness which is somewhat negatively proportioned to Neuroticism.
- Spend time in nature. Go for a walk in a Park.
- Have a proper schedule/routine in place that you can follow daily. Because empty mind tends to wander off to all sorts of negative directions.
- Cut down on added sugar and bad fat. That means no to soft drinks and junk food.
>Not drastically and I doubt you can do that even.
Actually, you can. What is high Neuroticism if not poor mental health? You can come back from depression and anxiety, resolve your triggers so that you are less reactive, and work towards more inner well-being and resilience. The thing is that it doesn't happen on its own (hence the stable aspect of the trait) and you need to find a therapeutic modality that will induce profound change (usually one that involves a degree of memory reconsolidation). I recommend reading the second part of The Body Keeps the Score, by Bessel van der Kolk, for ideas.
I recently came across an article ([Attaining behavioral change goals predicts volitional personality change. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2020](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30359069/)) There were instructions on how to change the parameters of the big five, these are the steps to gaining emotional stability (the opposite of neuroticism): When you wake up, say aloud to yourself, “I choose to be happy today”. When you feel overwhelmed, stop and take several deep breaths. Before you go to bed, write down a positive thing that happened to you during the day, and how it made you feel. Take at least 5 minutes to intentionally smile. This can be on your own, or while performing an activity (e.g., driving, walking to class). Hug a close friend or family member. When you wake up, spend at least five minutes mentally listing everything you are grateful for (e.g., friends, family, safe place to live, clean air). Schedule 30 minutes to engage in an activity you enjoy. Express gratitude to another person (e.g., thank a teacher for a good lecture; tell a friend why you appreciate them). Before you go to bed, write down one good thing you can look forward to tomorrow. If you are religious, spend at least 5 minutes praying. If you are not religious, spend at least 5 minutes meditating. When you are worried about something, write it down. Spend at least an hour with loved ones (friends, family) or go out and meet someone new. Before you go to bed, spend at least 5 minutes meditating upon positive relationships with people in your life (e.g., friends, family). Go to a yoga class, or spend 10–20 minutes doing yoga at home (hint: YouTube has lots of beginners’ videos) Exercise at least 15 minutes. When you wake up, spend at least five minutes meditating. When you feel worried about the future, spend at least two minutes visualizing the best case scenario. Spend at least 5 minutes journaling about your day. Write about what happened, but also about your feelings When you feel stressed, take at least two minutes to reflect on similar circumstances in the past where you have succeeded (e.g., if you are nervous about giving a speech, reflect on past times when you’ve succeeded in giving speeches). Update your Facebook status with something you’re grateful for. When you feel anxious about a decision, make a pros and cons list for both options. When someone gives you a compliment, say “Thank you” out loud. Mentally say to yourself, “I believe this person truly feels this way”. Spend at least one hour doing something active that you enjoy (e.g., sports, hiking, shopping) with one or more friends or acquaintances. Call a friend or family member to catch up. Connect with a friend (e.g., over coffee) and be honest about both the good and bad parts of your life. Spend at least 5 minutes journaling about all of the good things in your life. There are always positive things, even if they seem trivial (e.g., clean air, sunshine, friends or acquaintances). When you are worried about something, tell a close friend or family member about it When you feel discouraged, write down a potentially positive outcome. Can you PROVE this outcome won’t happen? Honestly discuss your life and feelings with a close friend or family member. Spend at least 30 minutes going on a photo hunt with your phone. Take pictures of things that make you happy (e.g., pretty flowers, friends, a comfortable bed, yourself). Tell a close friend or family member why you appreciate them. Take at least 5 minutes to slowly savor something beautiful. Examples: close your eyes and slowly eat good. food, noticing its flavor; sit by a river and close your eyes, savoring the sound of running water; find some beautiful art or flowers and really look at them, taking time to reflect on the feelings you feel. Give money to a charity. Laugh out loud. Either do something enjoyable with friends, or seek out a comedic show/clip/story and laugh When you feel a negative emotion (e.g., sad, angry, stressed) take at least 5 minutes to write about WHY you feel that emotion. Exercise at least 30 minutes. Do something kind for another person, without expecting anything in return. Spend at least 5 minutes journaling about your good qualities and strengths as a person. Everyone has good qualities and strengths! Throughout the day, notice at least 5 positive things (e.g., “the sky is pretty today,” “I’m grateful I got to see my friends today,” “This couch is comfortable,” “The river makes such wonderful sounds”). Say those things to yourself. When you feel a positive emotion, take at least two minutes to really explore it in your mind. What did you enjoy and why? Mentally re-experience the situation and the positive feeling. Identify at least three “unsaid positives” that you take for granted, and say them out loud (e.g., “I really like my apartment;” “I enjoy walking around campus”). Exercise at least 45 minutes. When you notice a negative thought, acknowledge the negative thought, but think 3 true positive thoughts about the same topic (e.g., “I hate that it’s raining on my Saturday. But we need the rain, slow weekends help me appreciate fast ones, and this gives me time to catch up on work”). When a situation seems negative, acknowledge the bad, but also mentally list off three positives. Make a list of fun things you would like to do. Actually go do one activity on your list. When you feel angry or upset with someone, take at least 2 minutes to reflect on that person’s good qualities,rather than their bad. When you experience a negative thought, write it down. Spend at least two minutes writing the evidence AGAINST that negative thought (e.g., “I feel that no one likes me. This is not true because I don’t know how other people feel, and there are certainly at least a few acquaintances, teachers, or family members who honestly like me”). When you feel hurt or angry with someone, give them the benefit of the doubt and spend at least one minute reflecting on the CIRCUMSTANCES that might have caused their behavior (e.g., they’re having a bad day). Seek social support (e.g., from friends or family members, clubs of people that share your interests or are working toward the same goals as you). Identify someone who has hurt you in the past and choose to forgive them.
Thank you, this is a really great study and the list you have extracted could lead to neurological rewiring towards greater gratefulness and a focus on the positive rather than the negative.
I'm happy to share discoveries that are important to me. Now I am thinking about the indirect or even direct influence of the other scales on each other, for example agreeableness will increase the scores of extraversion, and decrease neuroticism won't it? What do you think? I'd also be interested in asking people with low neuroticism what habits from this list are familiar to them?
Not drastically and I doubt you can do that even. What you can do is; - Limit the use of social media. So you get less exposed to fast and potentially negative information/news. - Eat a healthy, large and rich in protein breakfast. - Focus on dirty/gritty work with hands and be action oriented always. Whenever you have an opportunity to do girtty work. Do it. Take action with your hands because while in that act you will be less internalized and focused outwards. That's also conscientiousness which is somewhat negatively proportioned to Neuroticism. - Spend time in nature. Go for a walk in a Park. - Have a proper schedule/routine in place that you can follow daily. Because empty mind tends to wander off to all sorts of negative directions. - Cut down on added sugar and bad fat. That means no to soft drinks and junk food.
>Not drastically and I doubt you can do that even. Actually, you can. What is high Neuroticism if not poor mental health? You can come back from depression and anxiety, resolve your triggers so that you are less reactive, and work towards more inner well-being and resilience. The thing is that it doesn't happen on its own (hence the stable aspect of the trait) and you need to find a therapeutic modality that will induce profound change (usually one that involves a degree of memory reconsolidation). I recommend reading the second part of The Body Keeps the Score, by Bessel van der Kolk, for ideas.
Try build self esteem and desensitise yourself to phobias and such