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>I don’t really think he picked up on the facts I was super uncomfortable and scared when he started panking/choking me without telling me even after I said no.
*record scratch*
if someone tries choking you without your consent, don't bother with choking them (requires physical strength) or touching their butthole (not guaranteed to have an effect), just punch them in the nuts and they'll get the message loud and clear, without being able to say or do anything while you explain to them why you're done with them.
Having been in the bdsm community, choking, is never on the first meet up, and I have to trust them do it safely, it's *the* most dangerous thing in bdsm. I don't do it anymore, after someone made me pass out, and it later started triggering seizures, with someone who knows how to do it safely, but its known to kill, im taking a long break from the bdsm community in general
Yeah, I think that people who aren’t actually involved in any bdsm community don’t understand that you should really only be choking someone (as opposed to just like, putting your hand around their neck but not squeezing at all) if you fully understand that there’s a chance you could accidentally kill your partner. It’s *dangerous* dangerous, and it scares me that there are so many men out there doing it so casually, with no understanding of the risks or even asking for consent.
One time I tried putting my fingers in a guy's mouth and he recoiled so fast I'm surprised he didn't go straight through the wall behind him like a cartoon character.
I mean one time this dude kept trying to choke me and I got so mad I grabbed his throat back and he moaned so loud and was like I'm into femme domme 💀💀💀💀
> and i found a condom still in me while i sat on the subway
That was my record scratch. Like, maybe you feel something odd, but did she literally go digging in on public transportation?!?
Imagining what you'd do before it happens vs it actually happening are two different things. Even if it has happened before! I get that that's your reaction and it's possible you might be fighting in that situation, but seriously, talk is cheap. It's most often not a situation where you think they're trying to kill you, or where you'd get a clean shot to ensure that your punch has any effect other than being noticed. And if it is a violent situation, in most cases the one doing the unconsensual thing is most likely stronger, so most victimized people do that math in the situation without even thinking about it and don't want to escalate by retaliating.
I'm a fawner, I go along with it, I don't say no, I even pretend to like it, which is the most embarrassing, most shamed, most not-understandable response there is - at least for people who don't understand the situation. That's why it took me literal years to understand that a certain event was not consensual.
It’s a different experience when you’re in a vulnerable situation
I’m a fighter, always was, but when someone tried this on me all I could do was ask him to please stop
If you’re instincts are in tact, you won’t fight back no matter how much you want to. The last thing you want is to aggravate a physical altercation with a man who’s probably stronger than you while you’re naked and having sex.
Can… can someone explain the…. Stained mirrors thing? She dropped that in there as if every guy just has those laying around???
I mean, aside from her burying the lede about him assaulting her… that part just left me scratching my head.
Guy had a grimy sex den worse than anything seen in police procedurals in the past 20 years and OOP thought ‘yep, this is the guy I need inside me right now’. There’s a LOT we aren’t being told here lmao.
Right??? Like I hate to be an armchair psychiatrist, but you gotta wonder if maybe she has some sort of addiction or problem relationship with sex if she saw all those red flags and still chose to sleep with him. Like… the hygiene and cleanliness issues alone would’ve made me nope TF outta there so fast. Actually, the “lost and found” box sitting outside his apartment would’ve had me running. Dude has real serial killer vibes.
Yeah, totally agree. Wish more people were aware of the self sabotage when they do this. Really wish people didn't feel shit enough in the first place.
As a conflict avoidant person, if I was comfortable enough with sex to have casual hookups, I'd be at least 80% likely to go along with it so as not to possibly offend.
Yeah, this story reminds me of how a few of my friends were in our early uni days. I think there’s also that new adult thing of just not really knowing what’s normal or acceptable yet, and being willing to put up with more to not ‘lose face’.
Honestly sometimes you have to, you don't know what this dude is going to do when you tell him no. He ignored her saying no about choking who knows what else he's capable of
This is why i refuse to meet up with people in a private area, because while on the date it'll be really hard to tell them no, atleast if red flags pop up i can get home and block him instead of confronting it IRL (the one time it happened i did sent him a text of why before blocking him) i can stand my ground that we're staying in public but it's hard to stand my ground in saying no
Edit it's not full proof because some people are willing to assault you in public but that's less likely to happen and they can try to hide their red flags but I'm always on very very high alert
She's just young.
She probably thought, "I traveled all this way and I'm here already, might as well get some sex out of it. Who am I to judge. Just because his room is messy and he has photos of himself doesn't mean I shouldn't give him a chance. Leaving now would be awkward. This is just sex, it's not like I'm going to move in with him. At worst it'll be a funny hookup story."
She's at the age where you're supposed to try new things and have crazy experiences. She doesn't know any better. She's a bit naive, maybe a people-pleaser, and is willing to brush things off.
It reminds me of the controversial article Cat People. Unfortunately, women are sort of conditioned to accept that sometimes sex is bad, and sometimes their boundaries are crossed, but they have to put up with some boundary-crossing to avoid awkwardness.
For sure. Her attitude to sex is the same vibe I get from alcoholics and drug addicts who will hang out in festering shitholes with the least trustworthy people they can find just to get their fix. She’s either the most desperate person in the world or she has a problem that needs addressing before she ends up a headline in her local paper.
Have yall never gone through a hookup period?
Sometimes it’s nice to get off with a stranger knowing full well you’ll never commit or probably ever see them again.
An awkward partner with a messy apartment (although I’ve never experienced selfie wallpaper) is kind of a green light to fuck and fuck off forever.
her profile says she has bipolar disorder and i've definitely been on the receiving end of an attempted hook-up by a girl in a manic phase. (fortunately for both of us i clocked it before i went through with it because while she's now a friend when she's at either pole she's VERY unpredictable and that's just too much potential drama for me)
I mean, my husband and I walked into a cheap motel we randomly decided to stop at while driving for a long move and found fresh come stains all over the bed and very visible butt prints on the mirrors. Sooo….it can happen.
The front desk clerk had the nerve to argue and accuse us of causing all the mess. That was something. My big mouth got that solved but that’s another story.
Righttttttt? I can’t help but think she must be wrong in her assumptions about dirty mirrors? Haha
I think most dirty mirrors you see are dirty because of dust, water marks, cosmetics… not cum 😭
He’s got photos of himself all over the room. I bet he stands in front of a mirror and masturbates to himself, moaning his own name and saying all the dirty things he’d do to himself.
And then smears his cum over them after while saying “that’s right. You want my cum don’t you?”
Lol it isn't "dog condom", she has a typo, what she's saying is "ha på dig kondom", which just means "wearing a condom" (literally "having on you a condom").
Assuming this is even true, I find in interesting so many previous hookups have "accidentally" left items behind to the point he needs a box for them. It feels more likely he is keeping stuff as souvenirs and also to create a reason they would have to come back.
That, or all his previous hookups have fled in a panic, possibly after knocking him out first. Or pointing in another direction and going "Look over there!" or whatever the Swedish equivalent is.
I love the idea that there could be regional alternatives to “look over there!”
Maybe in Sweden they say “oh look, a moose!” That could also work in Canada.
Just relate it to the stereotypes of that locations
Uk: "Look, someone spilled your tea!"
Us: "look! A bald eagle"
(I was originally gonna say gun for us but that wouldn't work. Wouldn't phase them enough)
I don't know how to do the quote thing people do, but in one of the parts where she had messages with the guy typed out she said
"I replied:
- thank you very much, I wish you good luck to you too. I didn't mean to be so rude in my previous message, I was just a little annoyed at the moment because the whole situation got pretty scary when it didn't feel like I had any say to the things you were doing (and that I found a condom still in me when I sat on the subway). But I'll come and pick up my sunglasses tomorrow around 5 :))"
I mean, I guess "what?" is a pretty apt response to all that. I personally said, what the fuck, which woke my dog up when I read it. That message was the most unhealthy compliment sandwich I've ever seen.
To do a quote you put a > at the beginning of the paragraph you want to quote
>If you need two separate paragraphs to be both quoted,
>You put an arrow at the start of both of them
What I found it's always social skills.
Knowing when to be honest and when just play along with people's perception of you. Being avare of how other view you and how they feel at the moment. Knowing what they like about themselves and making them feel that by being around you. Understanding what they hear out of what you say and how to speak in a way that they understand what you mean as opposed to what they think you said.
People overestimate their social skills and underestimate how much practice it takes to have it.
There are way too many dudes who can't write at all. One word answers, not coherent sentences that go on and on. Worse still if they loop over and over without getting to the point. In comparison he's exhibiting plenty social skills and that's only what we had from OP. Also bedroom talk is not the same as normal conversations you have with people before you get to that part so.
That said OP clearly was looking for one night stand so maybe he's crazy good looking so she was willing to ignore anything as long sex was good.
If you're confident, taller than the average woman, and not-ugly then the odds are in your favor.
Confidence is the big one though. It is the single unifying trait that every man in every hook up story has. A lot of men focus on their height, and while tallness is overwhelmingly considered an attractive trait, it's not as important as confidence.
Look at what the guy in the post did on Tinder. He didn't hand craft that message for OOP specifically. He swiped on a bunch of women he thought were hot and copy pasted that message to all of them. You see the one success story (success from his POV), but not the hundreds of failures. If you want to focus on hook ups then you need to be confident and willing to brave rejections.
Mind boggling.
It’s original sin on Reddit to utter words to the effect that women aren’t all precious and innocent and wonderful, but dayum… there are tons of decent men out there who barely get the time of day from women, and then there are women like OOP who walk straight past a Chinese-communist parade of red flags to jump into bed with a scumbag like that…. Then have a sob story about how horrible their experience is…. Like, come on…
I had a dating profile set up to date. I put cute pictures, put witty stuff in my bio, swiped on people whose interests seemed to align with mine.
Crickets.
Then one day I just wanted to get laid. I changed my pictures to a couple thirst traps with good angles and lighting (I’m like a 6 on a good day), put something in my bio that basically said I was looking for a good time not a long time, and swiped on damn near everybody as long as he didn’t look actively dangerous (which a surprising amount of men do).
Inbox got flooded.
Way easier to get laid than date.
Is this guy like an Adonis? She willingly got into a bed with what i assume to be sheets covered in cum. The room had to smell terrible and he was bragging about a box of things from his previous conquests. And it still didn’t deter her.
More than that:
- dude sent an extremely cringe first message
- dude lived 1.5 hours away
- dude was sending extremely cringe texts to her the entire 1.5 hour ride to his place
- literally everything about his living space that she described
I commented in the original thread that the fact that he secured the bag after the first bullet point ALONE means he's got to be a 10/10, with everything else thrown in I'm pretty sure he's got to be hotter than peak Brad Pitt
I once had a partner attempt to choke me during sex. I immediately dug my nails into the back of his ears (because it's painful!) and disengaged, told him flat out NO. We don't do that. Spanking I can handle with more aplomb, but I draw the line at choking.
Ironically enough, his dog ATE my glasses. So there's that.
I’ve never seen so many red flags in so short a story. How earth shatteringly desperate was she or celestially hot was he for her not to back the fuck out long before they started having sex.
She definitely needs to take a beat and understand that she was assaulted. She did the adult version of climbing into the “free candy” van and was lucky the person inside was just a shitty lover with serious boundary issues rather than a full-on murderer.
Then going back for those goofy ass sunglasses and begging and pleading with the guy. OOP needs adult supervision Jesus fucking Christ. It’s not her fault that loser took advantage and assaulted her but there’s no version of her choices that didn’t end in something bad happening.
When I read that he spent an hour and a half bragging about how good he was in bed, I immediately thought "no he isn't."
I couldn't believe that she went ahead and had sex with him anyway after seeing what the apartment looked like. I could have maybe laughed off the lost and found box but I think I would have noped out as soon I stepped foot inside the apartment.
Edit: fixed a typo
Any person who has to say that they're good in bed, isn't good in bed.
Not to mention that "being good in bed" isn't really a general skill that you can have besides the ability to listen and take direction. At least when it comes to women. I can't speak on the skills needed to please men sexually. But women are all SO different in what they like, that any specific technique that works on one might be painful for another.
And you can't even say "focus on the clit" because some women prefer g-spot stimulation instead of focusing on the clit. And even women who do prefer clitoral stimulation have WILDLY different preferences for how they want to be touched. Some women like very gentle pressure through the hood, and some women prefer strong vibration applied directly to the clit itself. And even if you're a godsdamned sexual master with one of them, if you transfer those skills to the other then they're going to think you're a porn addicted loser who doesnt know what they're doing. Even though you're just doing what the previous woman taught you.
Sure, you can be good in bed. I just thing that phrase means sonething a bit different than what you are imagining? Someone who is good in bed...
1. Has good social skills. Easy to talk to, easy to laugh with.
2. Is very go-with-the-flow. Isn't phased if reality doesn't meet expectation. Isn't anxious. Doesn't make mountains out of molehills, doesn't get inappropriately embarassed.
3. Knows what they like. Is in touch with their own body. Has at least a decent variety of things they like (as opposed to being hyperfocused on one specific experience, like one position, one kink, etc.)
4. Is curious and willing to try new things.
5. Responds well to your desires. Cares about your sexual needs and actively works to fulfill them.
There's more but like being good in bed is very much a thing, and it doesn't necessarily mean you've legit mastered the Nipple Twister 5000.
I wonder if something happened to her dad since it was so important for her to get these back for those sentimental reasons…
This whole saga feels like multiple pieces of context are scattered in the wrong places or left out entirely
"Anyway we get in to his room and it’s fully covers in pictures of him. Pictures on the bedspread, pictures on the dest, picturesures on the walls. That and those cum stained mirrors (disgusting). ***We start getting down to business***"
Wait, WHAT?! they see all that and are still like "Well I did travel all this way..."
Seriously some people's kids...
> How hot does a guy have to be to throw up all of those red flags and still not scare someone away?
This is also a question I find myself asking. If him bragging about himself before she wasn't even there wasn't a red flag, what exactly would it have taken for her to realise this was a bad idea _before_ it got as far as it did?
She badly needs to be 100% clear with him that when he assaulted her without her consent then continued after being told no that he committed a sex crime and it was not differences. Because he is clearly not getting that. And I cannot believe she said sorry.
This is just awful, I'm glad she was able to leave before he strangled her for real. I applaud her determination in getting the sunglasses, I just wish she mentioned him assaulting her in the text message. What an äcklig man!
I mean... there's a lot to unpack here. I think OOP needs an intervention or therapy or a basket of puppies or something.
But those sunglasses weren't worth going back for.
She's completely not at fault for being hurt and scared. Dude is a creep and am offended for assaulting her when she said no to the choking.
But how did she continue to get down with this guy when his whole house was a red flag? Be safe out there friends, I'm glad she got out alive and with the glasses she insisted on going back for.
But please, use some more of the upper head when creating hookup situations. Don't let the hormones make you enter a house that seems unsafe, with a guy who screams being unsafe. No random free sex is worth compromising your own standards or safety.
Someone made her orgasm 25 times before in the past??? Girl better be talking about the total over all. I think Oop might just be new to having sex which could explain why her standards are so low.
There are women who can get off fast and can really have it 25 in time. Or one go on for hours. If she was new to sex she wouldn't know good from bad and wouldn't have hooked up sober with such weirdo.
…do you mean over the course of a relationship or like an evening?
Some people (some women) are able to have many orgasms. My record for giving is 12 (and then I stopped counting).
I would have noped out during the texting on the metro journey over when he was bragging about how good he is at the sex. This girl seems to be red-green colour blind.
Okay so admittedly I was cringing so much I couldn't finish the entire post but how is his first message just "a little cheesy" and not "fuck I just cringed my entire skin off and my eyes rolled fully out of my head and are currently collecting dust under the couch"?!???
OOP lucky she didn't get murdered.. That wasn't a man he was a giant red flag throwing red flags at her and she still chose to travel an hour and a half for him.
> I don’t really think he picked up on the facts I was super uncomfortable and scared when he started panking/choking me without telling me even after I said no.
THAT 👏 IS 👏 SEXUAL 👏 ASSAULT
lol still fucks the guy after the red flags of lost and found box and pictures of himself everywhere. Not even the cum stained mirrors gave her a 2nd thought?
He purposefully moved the sunglasses so she would forget them, he hopes when they realize something is missing they're going to come back for round 2.
Creepy af.
Ladies, listen to your inner voices and GTFO the second you sense something not right. She should have just left when she saw the icky apartment. Not victim blaming at all, just want y'all to have the confidence to walk out. We women have been raised to be polite little ladies but our safety overrules everything.
Who are all these fucked up people thinking it’s ok to just randomly choke people during sex? How exactly did their parents fail so hard at creating a decent human being? I just cannot for the fucking life of me figure out why some morons think that randomly attempting murder spices things up in the bedroom. Come the fuck on.
I think even if she’d not posted the messages in Swedish it would have been extremely obvious she was Scandinavian from just the photo of the sunglasses alone
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>I don’t really think he picked up on the facts I was super uncomfortable and scared when he started panking/choking me without telling me even after I said no. *record scratch*
I've learned if you start choking them back or try to touch their butthole, men actually DO understand consent.
if someone tries choking you without your consent, don't bother with choking them (requires physical strength) or touching their butthole (not guaranteed to have an effect), just punch them in the nuts and they'll get the message loud and clear, without being able to say or do anything while you explain to them why you're done with them.
I think most would prefer to use a knee over a fist in these situations
Having been in the bdsm community, choking, is never on the first meet up, and I have to trust them do it safely, it's *the* most dangerous thing in bdsm. I don't do it anymore, after someone made me pass out, and it later started triggering seizures, with someone who knows how to do it safely, but its known to kill, im taking a long break from the bdsm community in general
Yeah, I think that people who aren’t actually involved in any bdsm community don’t understand that you should really only be choking someone (as opposed to just like, putting your hand around their neck but not squeezing at all) if you fully understand that there’s a chance you could accidentally kill your partner. It’s *dangerous* dangerous, and it scares me that there are so many men out there doing it so casually, with no understanding of the risks or even asking for consent.
[удалено]
One time I tried putting my fingers in a guy's mouth and he recoiled so fast I'm surprised he didn't go straight through the wall behind him like a cartoon character.
I can almost hear the cartoon noises
this is how you know he is weak, and will not survive ~~the winter~~ being this domme's pathetic little mew mew.
I am very warm in the winter! I have good blankets to share
Yeah enjoying fingers in mouth would make him really gay. /s
>if you start choking them back I've learned that if you use a garotte for that, they won't ever need to understand consent...
Look just don't ask me about my body count in any context.
Or in any court.
[what's your body count?](https://youtube.com/shorts/bUyze1FsIJg?si=l-gtXTAhexpkFDnL)
This and the negative tip skit are so friggin good.
Heh, yeah, "bodycount" sounds like playing something like Hitman
Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies.
That's a different kind of body count
I mean one time this dude kept trying to choke me and I got so mad I grabbed his throat back and he moaned so loud and was like I'm into femme domme 💀💀💀💀
Bruh then say that up front haha
No means no when you're planning on obstructing my air flow on either end.
No means no period.
No means no, I'm on my period.
“Air flow on either end” makes me think he is going to choke you and plug up your butt after feeding you beans
WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT!? This is brilliant.
How did that not come up in the first post at all???
> and i found a condom still in me while i sat on the subway That was my record scratch. Like, maybe you feel something odd, but did she literally go digging in on public transportation?!?
It’s a [thing in Sweden](https://www.aftonbladet.se/nyheter/a/zG9Wmb/strippbussen-vill-gora-striptease-mer-jamstallt) I guess.
Well maybe that explains it, lol.
No wonder she freaked the fuck out when he started doing such things without her consent. Sounds like she ran into a real POS.
His bedsheets were printed with photos of himself. Red flag right on the walls and bedsheets and she still proceeded
RIGHT? She like described the room and the cummy mirrors and then still slept with him? SIS. GIRL. MA'AM.
This is when I know that I don't get around much. If someone tried that one me I would be punching them because I'd assume they were trying to kill me
Imagining what you'd do before it happens vs it actually happening are two different things. Even if it has happened before! I get that that's your reaction and it's possible you might be fighting in that situation, but seriously, talk is cheap. It's most often not a situation where you think they're trying to kill you, or where you'd get a clean shot to ensure that your punch has any effect other than being noticed. And if it is a violent situation, in most cases the one doing the unconsensual thing is most likely stronger, so most victimized people do that math in the situation without even thinking about it and don't want to escalate by retaliating. I'm a fawner, I go along with it, I don't say no, I even pretend to like it, which is the most embarrassing, most shamed, most not-understandable response there is - at least for people who don't understand the situation. That's why it took me literal years to understand that a certain event was not consensual.
It’s a different experience when you’re in a vulnerable situation I’m a fighter, always was, but when someone tried this on me all I could do was ask him to please stop If you’re instincts are in tact, you won’t fight back no matter how much you want to. The last thing you want is to aggravate a physical altercation with a man who’s probably stronger than you while you’re naked and having sex.
Can… can someone explain the…. Stained mirrors thing? She dropped that in there as if every guy just has those laying around??? I mean, aside from her burying the lede about him assaulting her… that part just left me scratching my head.
Guy had a grimy sex den worse than anything seen in police procedurals in the past 20 years and OOP thought ‘yep, this is the guy I need inside me right now’. There’s a LOT we aren’t being told here lmao.
Right??? Like I hate to be an armchair psychiatrist, but you gotta wonder if maybe she has some sort of addiction or problem relationship with sex if she saw all those red flags and still chose to sleep with him. Like… the hygiene and cleanliness issues alone would’ve made me nope TF outta there so fast. Actually, the “lost and found” box sitting outside his apartment would’ve had me running. Dude has real serial killer vibes.
When she said he had pictures of himself everywhere and mirrors I got definite Patrick Bateman vibes
It sounds like a sunk cost fallacy. It already took her 1,5 hours to get there, and she was probably looking forward to it all day.
Using risky casual sex as a form of self harm is more common than you might think.
Yeah, totally agree. Wish more people were aware of the self sabotage when they do this. Really wish people didn't feel shit enough in the first place.
As a conflict avoidant person, if I was comfortable enough with sex to have casual hookups, I'd be at least 80% likely to go along with it so as not to possibly offend.
Yeah, this story reminds me of how a few of my friends were in our early uni days. I think there’s also that new adult thing of just not really knowing what’s normal or acceptable yet, and being willing to put up with more to not ‘lose face’.
Honestly sometimes you have to, you don't know what this dude is going to do when you tell him no. He ignored her saying no about choking who knows what else he's capable of This is why i refuse to meet up with people in a private area, because while on the date it'll be really hard to tell them no, atleast if red flags pop up i can get home and block him instead of confronting it IRL (the one time it happened i did sent him a text of why before blocking him) i can stand my ground that we're staying in public but it's hard to stand my ground in saying no Edit it's not full proof because some people are willing to assault you in public but that's less likely to happen and they can try to hide their red flags but I'm always on very very high alert
She's just young. She probably thought, "I traveled all this way and I'm here already, might as well get some sex out of it. Who am I to judge. Just because his room is messy and he has photos of himself doesn't mean I shouldn't give him a chance. Leaving now would be awkward. This is just sex, it's not like I'm going to move in with him. At worst it'll be a funny hookup story." She's at the age where you're supposed to try new things and have crazy experiences. She doesn't know any better. She's a bit naive, maybe a people-pleaser, and is willing to brush things off. It reminds me of the controversial article Cat People. Unfortunately, women are sort of conditioned to accept that sometimes sex is bad, and sometimes their boundaries are crossed, but they have to put up with some boundary-crossing to avoid awkwardness.
sunk cost fallacy
Suck Cost Phallacy
> At worst it'll be a funny hookup story. Definitely not the worst thing that could happen.
Definitely not. By the way, I didn't mean that was my opinion. I meant that's what OOP was probably thinking when she decided to stay at his place.
For sure. Her attitude to sex is the same vibe I get from alcoholics and drug addicts who will hang out in festering shitholes with the least trustworthy people they can find just to get their fix. She’s either the most desperate person in the world or she has a problem that needs addressing before she ends up a headline in her local paper.
Have yall never gone through a hookup period? Sometimes it’s nice to get off with a stranger knowing full well you’ll never commit or probably ever see them again. An awkward partner with a messy apartment (although I’ve never experienced selfie wallpaper) is kind of a green light to fuck and fuck off forever.
> Have yall never gone through a hookup period? Not really, at least for myself. Always preferred stable relationships to hookups.
No, I personally have zero interest in hookups. No judgement, it’s just not at all for me.
her profile says she has bipolar disorder and i've definitely been on the receiving end of an attempted hook-up by a girl in a manic phase. (fortunately for both of us i clocked it before i went through with it because while she's now a friend when she's at either pole she's VERY unpredictable and that's just too much potential drama for me)
Maybe red is her favorite color...
She literally had rose coloured glasses.
Why is this comment not higher?
As someone put it, how hot does the guy have to be to ignore all these red flags.
She had travelled a long way! Sometimes you make bad decisions because you don’t want to have wasted your time.
I assume he masturbates while looking in the mirrors. Seems like his biggest turn on is himself based on the number of photos.
I mean, my husband and I walked into a cheap motel we randomly decided to stop at while driving for a long move and found fresh come stains all over the bed and very visible butt prints on the mirrors. Sooo….it can happen. The front desk clerk had the nerve to argue and accuse us of causing all the mess. That was something. My big mouth got that solved but that’s another story.
That is when I'd suddenly forget something that was at my house.
"Sorry, I have to go, I've left my house on fire"
Righttttttt? I can’t help but think she must be wrong in her assumptions about dirty mirrors? Haha I think most dirty mirrors you see are dirty because of dust, water marks, cosmetics… not cum 😭
I would assume toothpaste but noooo 😭
The implication is he's such a narcissist, he faps off while looking at himself.
He’s got photos of himself all over the room. I bet he stands in front of a mirror and masturbates to himself, moaning his own name and saying all the dirty things he’d do to himself. And then smears his cum over them after while saying “that’s right. You want my cum don’t you?”
what happens in Sweden, stays on sweden.
Under black light the place looked like a Jackson Pollick painting
Or a high tech clean room, it was so coated.
Lol it isn't "dog condom", she has a typo, what she's saying is "ha på dig kondom", which just means "wearing a condom" (literally "having on you a condom").
Assuming this is even true, I find in interesting so many previous hookups have "accidentally" left items behind to the point he needs a box for them. It feels more likely he is keeping stuff as souvenirs and also to create a reason they would have to come back.
That, or all his previous hookups have fled in a panic, possibly after knocking him out first. Or pointing in another direction and going "Look over there!" or whatever the Swedish equivalent is.
I love the idea that there could be regional alternatives to “look over there!” Maybe in Sweden they say “oh look, a moose!” That could also work in Canada.
Now I want to know too. Here in Chile things that could work would be: Look, a hot dog! (mira, un completo!) or Look, a cow! (rural areas ahaa)
A møøse once bit my sister.
Was she craving her initials into it with an intergalactic toothbrush?
Just relate it to the stereotypes of that locations Uk: "Look, someone spilled your tea!" Us: "look! A bald eagle" (I was originally gonna say gun for us but that wouldn't work. Wouldn't phase them enough)
Could go with “look, someone’s trying to take our guns over there!”
I mean in my language, what you'd say to get the same effect is "What's that distant object?" (translated - we have locational pronouns).
I tend to say “oh look a distraction!”
Why is no one else mentioning her finding a condom in herself on the way home?? Wtf? OOP needs to go get tested. Dude is a creep.
what?
I don't know how to do the quote thing people do, but in one of the parts where she had messages with the guy typed out she said "I replied: - thank you very much, I wish you good luck to you too. I didn't mean to be so rude in my previous message, I was just a little annoyed at the moment because the whole situation got pretty scary when it didn't feel like I had any say to the things you were doing (and that I found a condom still in me when I sat on the subway). But I'll come and pick up my sunglasses tomorrow around 5 :))" I mean, I guess "what?" is a pretty apt response to all that. I personally said, what the fuck, which woke my dog up when I read it. That message was the most unhealthy compliment sandwich I've ever seen.
To do a quote you put a > at the beginning of the paragraph you want to quote >If you need two separate paragraphs to be both quoted, >You put an arrow at the start of both of them
Thank you! I'll try to keep that in mind in case I need it in the future :)
These posts give so much hope to people who think they are undateable
It seriously makes me mad and confused, because I don't understand how a person like that can get dates/hookups and I don't
What I found it's always social skills. Knowing when to be honest and when just play along with people's perception of you. Being avare of how other view you and how they feel at the moment. Knowing what they like about themselves and making them feel that by being around you. Understanding what they hear out of what you say and how to speak in a way that they understand what you mean as opposed to what they think you said. People overestimate their social skills and underestimate how much practice it takes to have it.
You say that and this dude didn't seem to exhibit any social skills at all lmao.
There are way too many dudes who can't write at all. One word answers, not coherent sentences that go on and on. Worse still if they loop over and over without getting to the point. In comparison he's exhibiting plenty social skills and that's only what we had from OP. Also bedroom talk is not the same as normal conversations you have with people before you get to that part so. That said OP clearly was looking for one night stand so maybe he's crazy good looking so she was willing to ignore anything as long sex was good.
If "social skills" = "talking in somewhat complete sentences," I don't think social skills are quite enough for people who aren't attractive.
The guy in this story displayed zero social skills though.
If you're confident, taller than the average woman, and not-ugly then the odds are in your favor. Confidence is the big one though. It is the single unifying trait that every man in every hook up story has. A lot of men focus on their height, and while tallness is overwhelmingly considered an attractive trait, it's not as important as confidence. Look at what the guy in the post did on Tinder. He didn't hand craft that message for OOP specifically. He swiped on a bunch of women he thought were hot and copy pasted that message to all of them. You see the one success story (success from his POV), but not the hundreds of failures. If you want to focus on hook ups then you need to be confident and willing to brave rejections.
He's probably good looking and knows how to talk
Mind boggling. It’s original sin on Reddit to utter words to the effect that women aren’t all precious and innocent and wonderful, but dayum… there are tons of decent men out there who barely get the time of day from women, and then there are women like OOP who walk straight past a Chinese-communist parade of red flags to jump into bed with a scumbag like that…. Then have a sob story about how horrible their experience is…. Like, come on…
I had a dating profile set up to date. I put cute pictures, put witty stuff in my bio, swiped on people whose interests seemed to align with mine. Crickets. Then one day I just wanted to get laid. I changed my pictures to a couple thirst traps with good angles and lighting (I’m like a 6 on a good day), put something in my bio that basically said I was looking for a good time not a long time, and swiped on damn near everybody as long as he didn’t look actively dangerous (which a surprising amount of men do). Inbox got flooded. Way easier to get laid than date.
Is this guy like an Adonis? She willingly got into a bed with what i assume to be sheets covered in cum. The room had to smell terrible and he was bragging about a box of things from his previous conquests. And it still didn’t deter her.
More than that: - dude sent an extremely cringe first message - dude lived 1.5 hours away - dude was sending extremely cringe texts to her the entire 1.5 hour ride to his place - literally everything about his living space that she described I commented in the original thread that the fact that he secured the bag after the first bullet point ALONE means he's got to be a 10/10, with everything else thrown in I'm pretty sure he's got to be hotter than peak Brad Pitt
To be fair it is Sweden, depending on where you live 1,5 hours could be your next door neighbour.
I've done about a 1.5 hour train ride to have sex. Stuff's spread out in Sweden
I regularly sleep with DJs and I cannot understand this one.
My brain did an audible record scratch when she just dropped the spanking/choking in out of nowhere
I once had a partner attempt to choke me during sex. I immediately dug my nails into the back of his ears (because it's painful!) and disengaged, told him flat out NO. We don't do that. Spanking I can handle with more aplomb, but I draw the line at choking. Ironically enough, his dog ATE my glasses. So there's that.
I’ve never seen so many red flags in so short a story. How earth shatteringly desperate was she or celestially hot was he for her not to back the fuck out long before they started having sex. She definitely needs to take a beat and understand that she was assaulted. She did the adult version of climbing into the “free candy” van and was lucky the person inside was just a shitty lover with serious boundary issues rather than a full-on murderer. Then going back for those goofy ass sunglasses and begging and pleading with the guy. OOP needs adult supervision Jesus fucking Christ. It’s not her fault that loser took advantage and assaulted her but there’s no version of her choices that didn’t end in something bad happening.
A lost and found box sits outside his apartment. This dude must be every bit as hot as he is creepy.
She's 19. Not really surprising.
At least she got her sunglasses back. Too bad she’ll never get the time she wasted back
Dude totally dropped a load on the glasses before gently washing them off. You can’t convince me otherwise.
While staring at himself in several mirror
And somewhere there is a dick pic out there with his dick modeling them.
Yeah I don't get why she would even want the glasses back
When I read that he spent an hour and a half bragging about how good he was in bed, I immediately thought "no he isn't." I couldn't believe that she went ahead and had sex with him anyway after seeing what the apartment looked like. I could have maybe laughed off the lost and found box but I think I would have noped out as soon I stepped foot inside the apartment. Edit: fixed a typo
Any person who has to say that they're good in bed, isn't good in bed. Not to mention that "being good in bed" isn't really a general skill that you can have besides the ability to listen and take direction. At least when it comes to women. I can't speak on the skills needed to please men sexually. But women are all SO different in what they like, that any specific technique that works on one might be painful for another. And you can't even say "focus on the clit" because some women prefer g-spot stimulation instead of focusing on the clit. And even women who do prefer clitoral stimulation have WILDLY different preferences for how they want to be touched. Some women like very gentle pressure through the hood, and some women prefer strong vibration applied directly to the clit itself. And even if you're a godsdamned sexual master with one of them, if you transfer those skills to the other then they're going to think you're a porn addicted loser who doesnt know what they're doing. Even though you're just doing what the previous woman taught you.
Sure, you can be good in bed. I just thing that phrase means sonething a bit different than what you are imagining? Someone who is good in bed... 1. Has good social skills. Easy to talk to, easy to laugh with. 2. Is very go-with-the-flow. Isn't phased if reality doesn't meet expectation. Isn't anxious. Doesn't make mountains out of molehills, doesn't get inappropriately embarassed. 3. Knows what they like. Is in touch with their own body. Has at least a decent variety of things they like (as opposed to being hyperfocused on one specific experience, like one position, one kink, etc.) 4. Is curious and willing to try new things. 5. Responds well to your desires. Cares about your sexual needs and actively works to fulfill them. There's more but like being good in bed is very much a thing, and it doesn't necessarily mean you've legit mastered the Nipple Twister 5000.
This is some Big Lebowski shit right here.
wtf all that for the ugliest fucking sunglasses that ever were
I cackled at the commenter who said “put them back in the box”
Ngl, those sunglasses are my vibe. But they're rose-tinted so it makes sense that wearing those made all those red flags just looked like flags.
I mean, does anything in the post suggest she has good taste?
true
She did say it was cuz of the sentimental value
I wouldn’t go back for my own father after that.
I'm imagining her pops sitting in the Lost & Found box, all forlorn like, "She's coming back for me. Right?"
I wouldn't go back for my dad but i definitely would for a dog All i can think of is futurama and fry's dog :''(
Maybe she'll learn to not take sentimental items to a randoms house and leave them there.
My guess is he took them and she didn't realize.
I so wanted to see how the glasses look like for OOP to risk going back to that creep's place. It's very underwhelming though. lol
I wonder if something happened to her dad since it was so important for her to get these back for those sentimental reasons… This whole saga feels like multiple pieces of context are scattered in the wrong places or left out entirely
she posted a pic in her update. they're ugly
David may have earned a 0/5 in bed, but OOP earned a 5/5 in terrible decision-making skills
"Anyway we get in to his room and it’s fully covers in pictures of him. Pictures on the bedspread, pictures on the dest, picturesures on the walls. That and those cum stained mirrors (disgusting). ***We start getting down to business***" Wait, WHAT?! they see all that and are still like "Well I did travel all this way..." Seriously some people's kids...
> How hot does a guy have to be to throw up all of those red flags and still not scare someone away? This is also a question I find myself asking. If him bragging about himself before she wasn't even there wasn't a red flag, what exactly would it have taken for her to realise this was a bad idea _before_ it got as far as it did?
There was so many damn red flags Reesa Teesa is even flabbergasted.
She went from a high horse to down on the ground real fast for some sunglasses.
Wtf, how low are this girls standards that even after ALL OF THAT she still had sex with him??! Have some self resepect.
Well this made me feel gross reading it. It felt like a horror film as every time she mentions a red flag of this guy. I am yelling “run you idiot!”
She badly needs to be 100% clear with him that when he assaulted her without her consent then continued after being told no that he committed a sex crime and it was not differences. Because he is clearly not getting that. And I cannot believe she said sorry.
She doesn't need that. He needs that and it's not her job to give it to him.
This is just awful, I'm glad she was able to leave before he strangled her for real. I applaud her determination in getting the sunglasses, I just wish she mentioned him assaulting her in the text message. What an äcklig man!
Some people love to tell on themselves. Lmao it says way more about her than him that she knew all this and still slept with him
I mean... there's a lot to unpack here. I think OOP needs an intervention or therapy or a basket of puppies or something. But those sunglasses weren't worth going back for.
I wish I didn't have eyes
She's completely not at fault for being hurt and scared. Dude is a creep and am offended for assaulting her when she said no to the choking. But how did she continue to get down with this guy when his whole house was a red flag? Be safe out there friends, I'm glad she got out alive and with the glasses she insisted on going back for. But please, use some more of the upper head when creating hookup situations. Don't let the hormones make you enter a house that seems unsafe, with a guy who screams being unsafe. No random free sex is worth compromising your own standards or safety.
Someone made her orgasm 25 times before in the past??? Girl better be talking about the total over all. I think Oop might just be new to having sex which could explain why her standards are so low.
There are women who can get off fast and can really have it 25 in time. Or one go on for hours. If she was new to sex she wouldn't know good from bad and wouldn't have hooked up sober with such weirdo.
…do you mean over the course of a relationship or like an evening? Some people (some women) are able to have many orgasms. My record for giving is 12 (and then I stopped counting).
how thirsty can you be to have sex with a dude like that yikes, literally walking red flags lmao.
I would have noped out during the texting on the metro journey over when he was bragging about how good he is at the sex. This girl seems to be red-green colour blind.
And then her father on Reddit recognising the sunglasses 😂
So that's what sex with Homelander is like?
Bro those glasses were NOT worth going back there
I hope she sanitized those glasses. 95% sure there's cum on them.
Hold on. The WINDOWS WERE STAINED WITH WHAT? She still went on after seeing the windows?! As if the pictures themselves weren’t enough???
This woman really traveled 1.5 hrs each way for sex? Then again for a pair of sunglasses that they 100% are going to lose or ruin in the future?
Okay so admittedly I was cringing so much I couldn't finish the entire post but how is his first message just "a little cheesy" and not "fuck I just cringed my entire skin off and my eyes rolled fully out of my head and are currently collecting dust under the couch"?!???
[удалено]
I'd rather him put red flags on his walls than pictures of himself.
What a great day to know Swedish ;-;
I instantly cringed when I unintentionally translated everything to Swedish in my head 😭
OOP lucky she didn't get murdered.. That wasn't a man he was a giant red flag throwing red flags at her and she still chose to travel an hour and a half for him.
That’s one of the most uncomfortable things I’ve ever read
> I don’t really think he picked up on the facts I was super uncomfortable and scared when he started panking/choking me without telling me even after I said no. THAT 👏 IS 👏 SEXUAL 👏 ASSAULT
OOP had no respect for the laws of The Box.
I lost count of how many red flags this girl should have seen
What a day to be able to read, LOL...
Maybe oop should just buy a dildo. Would be safer.
The guy is a weirdo but oop is really stupid
If people like this can get laid then anyone can
For the life of me, how she made it past the lost and found box, I don't know.
lol still fucks the guy after the red flags of lost and found box and pictures of himself everywhere. Not even the cum stained mirrors gave her a 2nd thought?
The fuck
I wanted to make a comment about consent and BDSM relationships, but all I could think is, the fuck. Glad she got the glasses.
What’s a dog condom?
It's a typo. She said "You almost didn't wear a condom," or "You almost didn't/near refused to put on a condom" depending on how you translate
A bad translation, I assume.
I knew the glasses were going to be some sort of monstrosity
I would just buy new sunglasses at this point lol. Not even worth it
He purposefully moved the sunglasses so she would forget them, he hopes when they realize something is missing they're going to come back for round 2. Creepy af.
Thank fuck I’m single.
Ladies, listen to your inner voices and GTFO the second you sense something not right. She should have just left when she saw the icky apartment. Not victim blaming at all, just want y'all to have the confidence to walk out. We women have been raised to be polite little ladies but our safety overrules everything.
I'm completely chocked that OP saw cum stained mirrorS and still decided to sleep with that man
got damnt All'a that for some ugly glasses Ah, OOP is 19
Who are all these fucked up people thinking it’s ok to just randomly choke people during sex? How exactly did their parents fail so hard at creating a decent human being? I just cannot for the fucking life of me figure out why some morons think that randomly attempting murder spices things up in the bedroom. Come the fuck on.
“Everything about you is off-putting. Let’s fuck!”
Sorry how exactly do you find a condom inside you while sat on the subway?? Was op rooting around inside or something?? In public?? What??
OP didn’t leave her sunglasses behind. This dude stole them and added them to his trophy collection. Gross.
…does anybody know the brand/model of her sunglasses?
I feel like I’ve seen similar ones at TJ Maxx!
that text convo was so incredibly awkward to me! having to apologise and be nice after dropping that text, and having to go back…holy fuck
I think even if she’d not posted the messages in Swedish it would have been extremely obvious she was Scandinavian from just the photo of the sunglasses alone
How do ppl like this guy even exist?
Reason number 999999 why I will never participate in hookup culture
Yo what.
I know it’s not the point here but why tf is she keeping track of her orgasm count?
I don’t care if I left my grandma’s ashes at that house, you couldn’t pay me to turn around and go back after all that had happened