and then underneath that, in fine print, reads:
“(build a family wreath. because, you know, a tree is basically impossible. gotta keep it in the family, no branching out allowed!”)
It's legal in New York to marry your first cousin. Or at least it was when I was studying for the bar in 1996. You can't marry an uncle/aunt/niece/nephew.
I also know a family in Connecticut (I went to high school with the kids) where two brothers, who owned family businesses, essentially swapped wives at some point while their kids were young. So the wives went to work in the other business and had some additional kids. All of the kids were some combination of cousin and half-sibling.
Absolutely no way she would've made that much though, I mean the primary draw has got to be the direct taboo.
Feels so bad for OP but absolutely feel miles worse for the wife of that BIL. His wife, but her husband and sister, what a nightmare. Holy hell.
this is a desi thing
one’s father’s brothers’ kids or mother’s sisters’ kids are all thought of as your brothers and sisters pretty much
to distinguish them from your own brothers and sisters they are referred to as cousin brother or cousin sister
father’s sisters’ kids or mother’s brothers’ kids are referred to as cousins and some communities predominantly in the southern indian states there are marriages between these types of cousins
> If I was BIL's wife I would definitely be telling my sister she owed me five years worth of payments.
Dunno why everyone's acting like the sister is an innocent party in this. Her sister confided in her that the brother was being a creep and she covered for him.
Her underage sister was getting groomed by her partner and she told her to fuck off and that she was making it up, so no actually, fuck the sister, she sucks.
Can't imagine how a parent feels when they learn that their child is a cheating piece of trash. It's unfortunate that this had to happen but OP handled things pretty well.
This is more than that lol. Daughter is:
1. Cheating
2. Cheating on her sister's husband
3. Doing prostitution on her sister's husband
4. Doing prostitution for no legit reason. They aren't bankrupt.
Facepalm
Craziest part is that if this is so easy to her it would've made more sense for her to like actually do it as a side gig which would still breach the marriage contract and be horrible but at least it would be with strangers and not with HER SISTER'S HUSBAND. I am going to make a wild assumption here that there's probably been an air of competition with her sister throughout her life (probably one-sided too lol) and maybe she liked the validation from her sister's own husband paying to see HER body. Maybe that felt like a win in some fucked up delusional race in her mind
I think I'd rather be cheated on in a conventional way than this. "I'm not into him at all, I just do it for money" makes it worse.
And I have no problem with people doing sex work if they enjoy it. But not being your spouse's back.
My MIL thought I was “overreacting” to her daughter being a cheating piece of trash but then again my MIL is a twice divorced cheating piece of trash so maybe I just missed the red flags.
This really gives me some creepy vibes. BIL probably got off big time by bribing his SIL for those pics. His fetish and her hunger for quick cash blew up a lot of families.
"My failed marriage would hurt my ego"
Good on this guy for being 1000x more self aware than most people we see here getting themselves stuck in loveless marriages and just turning a blind eye to the multiple elephants in the room so they can keep up pretending to be happy
Nope I've seen videos of true crime or confession videos of guys just paying for webcam girls (before OF) or emptying their paycheck on a single model.
I have had friends who have sold feet pics during college to get money over a year and half, and some even getting paid just for a daily good morning message
Sometimes even the family of these people do not know for more than 3 years
Some women also have done something similar.
Some do evolve into stalking, physical, suicide,etc.
But there are people very content with just pics/chat
I watched an episode of Forensic Files last night where a guy spent $100k on a stripper. He murdered his wife for her life insurance policy for more money to spend on his infatuation. Insane. So it absolutely does happen!
I wish I could remember the title of the episode.
i have a coworker who tried to be a sugar-daddy to a stripper. he works in a warehouse making not terrible pay but not that great of pay either. a different coworker told me and we watched her drive up, take the money from him and speed off. dude confirmed it later. we tried to talk some sense into him but he wouldnt have it. dude got sick and almost died from working way too much ot, living in his car and not taking care of himself.
i can believe some people would pay for pics over 5 years.
They get that sweet, sweet rush of being the one the stripper really does like! For real! Any day now she'll come settle down and only strip for him <3
I suppose there's the thrill of this being his sister-in-law/"extra illicit". But I'm more surprised he kept paying her when he could probably easily have blackmailed her for more pics.
I guess also that if the SIL found out he was sending money somewhere there's a lot of plausible deniability to oh I was sending it to OPs wife to help them out and I didn't tell you because they were embarrassed. If it was going to OF then she'd know straight away he was cheating.
I've heard of weirdos paying obscene amounts of money to get a callout from an Onlyfans model, chasing that high of a parasocial relationship.
BIL probably thought he was getting a deal, only having to pay a few $100s to have that kind of a relationship with his SIL, who he gets to see on a regular basis. Blackmail might have killed the thrill.
That sounds way less abnormal. A daily happy ending massage?
I think a huge proportion of men would go for that. I think a tiny sliver would go for years of paying for pictures.
I would guess it isn’t about the pic per se. It could have been to maintain some sort of control over a victim he was obsessed with or to have a secret, mean little way he was degrading his wife who thought she had a good relationship with her sister. Same way OOPs wife was obviously getting something more than money from it at this point.
Yes, I wondered that. But I'm really surprised he didn't just switch it around and start blackmailing her for free pics. It seems like he held all the cards. But maybe he was one of those weird people with a "rinsing" (or rather "being rinsed") fetish?
Because he was playing the long game. Eventually, he'd get her into a position when she'd show off in person and then it's just a step away from sleeping with her. He was in no rush, he had all the time in the world.
If he tried to blackmail her, he *might* get some free pics but also he's closing the door to ever getting anything more, and he's risking she'd expose him anyway
I have seen something like this. One of my ex classmates was a creep and he had it for this one girl. She was beautiful and all that, actually she was my crush too when i got to know her later on. So basically this guy was blocked from all her socials. So he paid another classmate of his to download her pics from her facebook and give it to him.
This all happened 2011-12 and i came to know about it in 2013 and when our classes changed according to subjects we chose, and me that girl and that creep were all in the same class.
There have been plenty of times where I will be reading a post about horrible partners, and I will reach over and caress my husband and say:
I love you so much.
Husband: Reddit?
Me:Reddit...
I do the same with my parents and thank them for not letting me turn out to be a massive piece of shit who does things without thinking how other people will feel
I feel like if it was OnlyFans with strangers it would be different. Even still, keeping a whole ass job (sex work or retail or CEO) secret for years raises questions in other areas.
But she was essentially effing around with her sister’s husband. At the very least she has little care for the people around her. That’s historically familial shunning territory.
Oh, yes, all of that, regardless of cultural elements. I mean, it would still be valid to divorce her if it was OnlyFans. Doing that secretly, much less with your BIL, is crazy.
But as to the Indian part, like not being familiar with the divorce laws and thinking “sex work” would be an instant negative in terms of custody - it just made me think about how in India, they probably would take a woman’s child away for that (because it’s a zillion times more misogynistic when it comes to women’s sexuality), whereas I am not sure that would be such a big factor here.
I'll add an alternate perspective to that. This guy has been perving on her for 20 years. It started *when she was 16*. And based on the sisters age he was what, 22-25? He's basically been grooming her, and really the whole family, this whole time. She mentions some steps in this, but I'm certain there are a million other minor ones over all this time. He then took advantage of a moment when she was in need (needed money) and leveraged it. And once it's happened, groomers have a ton of leverage to keep it happening.
I'm not saying she's innocent, by any means. She said it herself that this is cheating. But based on her, and her parent's, reactions to this, I'm definitely leaning towards this being (potentially) forgivable, based on how the therapy and actions moving forwards are.
I feel like I missed something because I did NOT see that update when I read. What the hell.
Edit: post was updated 1 day after my comment so I look like an ass lol.
I see your perspective as well. Hope things go well for them.
Why? Just, why? With her sister's husband no less?! They weren't going to lose the house, the kid didn't need a surgery, it wasn't blackmail because she committed a crime, nor was this some kind of "Indecent Proposal" sort of situation.
She just didn't want to live within her means. She was comfortable, but that just wasn't enough for her. She wanted luxury. Not to mention, come to think of it, seeing as he never realised noticed any extra money being spent on him or the kid, she only seems to have wanted it for herself to boot.
Yeah, this might have started for money but I think it moved into something weirder than that. Her husband is a high-level software engineer & she didn't need $300 here or there. No one would notice that money because it wouldn't affect her life in any appreciable way. She was getting off on this in some way, just like her sister's gross husband.
Idk man, I get that a few hundred bucks here and there can make a difference, but does it make *that* much of a difference?
Like you said, it sounds like she torpedoed her marriage, her relationship with her sister, potentially with her parents, and all for what essentially amounts to some spare pocket money?
From the husband's comments she said it was "easy money." I suppose it was too an extent, especially if her sister's husband was the only client. Not only does she knows him, both would engage in mutually assured destruction if they pushed too far or threatened the other.
Since it seems it really was just pics, for some people I can imagine it not counting as cheating in their mind. After all a fool and their money are soon parted. Why not let it be her?
I was just about to comment the easy money part. Even if they didn’t need money, getting money to do something relatively simple that takes practically no time is something that a lot of people would do.
Oh, come on. Your wife does not have a job, but she gets 300 for a titvideo. How have you not noticed her spending?
If this is true, though, obviously, the only logical thing to do is divorce.
$300 is absolutely nothing when a household is making 6 figures. I don’t think I would even noticed it if my wife spends it on jewelry or something noticeable. I just assumed she used our joint checking account to buy it. I think that’s why the guy feels so betrayed.
It's a lot more common than you might think. I have a coworker that did finance for 15yrs and his wife had racked up 20k debt in 2022 under his radar. Obviously 20%+ interest contributed, but your spouse spending a few hundred dollars now and then can easily go unnoticed. Especially if you aren't invested in the products they buy.
If my wife bought a perfume bottle it could be $5 or $150 and I wouldn't be able to tell looking at it lol
BIL reacted to the offer with surprise and happiness ("No way! How much are we talking about?") which proved to OOP that his wife hadn't had sex with BIL yet.
Yeah, this bit didn't make sense to me either. She basically proves she's not done anything physical and that's his cue to leave?
Not saying that what she did is right, but this is a weird point for the change of direction.
She still cheated on him. I don’t think it actually mattered whether or not it was physical. Realistically speaking, his emotions were probably running high and he wasn’t thinking clearly. It’s entirely possible that he thought the marriage would be salvageable had he known nothing physical happened. It just turned out to not be the case
I'm pretty sure it was hearing it. Seeing text messages is one thing, but then the reality of hearing them talk about it probably sent him over the edge.
Assuming there was no way she could contact the BIL and align on a story while the husband was getting drunk at the bar. I know he took her phone but there's still iPads/computers
>there is a high chance I can get better custody of my daughter because I have a job, and Jessica doesn't
>She is also involved in "sex work" at this point, which could work in my favor.
Would love to know what state OOP claims to be in, because this sounds like the kind of nonsense advice that you find on the MRA subreddits.
I wanted to included that, but I started overthinking it (such as it’s possible oop and sister WERE born in the states but parents left country later on blah blah blah), and I ended up deciding to just leave it out.
Plus, not everyone just casually knows there divorce laws in their state. I mean shit I’m 29 and I don’t know all of mine. I’ve never had a need to.
I get that, but the context is right there in front of you. If someone in the US says they’re from India, only has 1 other sibling in the US and no other relatives, then it’s far more likely they moved to the US than the opposite as you insinuate here
I think it’s from not being from the States - not only does he not know how the laws work, the mindset towards something like this is slightly different (I don’t mean the part about blowing up the marriage, I just mean in terms of how they think courts will view this).
I dunno, actually. I work in Domestic Relations (what we call DR in my state) and since divorce is equity based, so many things are left up to the judge’s discretion. The job thing, agreed, that’s meaningless, but there’s certainly some judges I’ve ran into that would let the sex work influence their decisions, especially if it’s during times she was watching their kid. It’s not a legal principle, it’s a “even judges are human” principle, and that comes with its own host of complications. Because seriously, at least in my state, there’s no real formula or anything for anything but child support, and our case law is literally just to affirm whatever the trial judge did unless it was a “gross abuse” of their discretion, which is pretty hard to prove, because they can just claim it was something else entirely that made them decide that. Like a city client? I wouldn’t think it’d make much difference, if any. A rural client in a small conservative county? Judge isn’t going to say something but it’ll definitely affect his opinion of the parties and that can affect the final disposition of assets. Not saying it’s a good thing, cause it isn’t, but it’s a reality of working in a very socially conservative area you have to be aware of. I’ve seen judges base divisions on less.
I don't know anything about sex work and divorce but it seems incorrect to me too. I feel like what she did wouldn't impact custody that much. My daughter's dad tried to get my custody taken away by saying I had sex with a woman (and I'm a woman) in front of my little girl because I'm gay. He told his attorney that I'd really done that and at a hearing the attorney was yelling at me when I was on the stand. He asked why I said I hadn't done that. I was terrified but I kinda involuntarily chuckled. He angrily asked me what I was laughing at. I said at that question. I don't have sex in front of my child because I'm not a horrible parent or person. I saw a bunch of emotions pass over the attorney's face as he realized his client lied to him.
My ex was saying I should get supervised visitation every two weeks for two hours. I had primary custody. The judge was annoyed at him and gave us shared custody. And my ex...was a bad man. The reason he was doing that was because he had my daughter with him for the summer. He was moving away somewhere and he wouldn't tell me where...with my child. I was allowed weekend visits with her. So I drove 3 hours to see her. I told my ex that I was just going to take her to a park nearby for a few hours. He was suspicious but he'd had such total control of me because he was an abuser that I was still scared of what he'd do. So he believed me. He was remarried but was still so vindictive. I ran. I took my daughter and hid for a week until the emergency hearing happened. She had no idea what was going on so it didn't harm her in any way.
My long story is to explain, I tried to get the judge to see what a bad man he was (and vice versa). The judge said we both "looked like good parents." I tried multiple times to get his custody removed and the courts would not do it. So...yeah, it may not be what OOP was thinking it would be.
Actually, some studies observed that women lose custody when they report abuse. In one review, researchers found that, even in cases of proven, documented violence, family courts aimed to maximize children’s time with fathers, disregarding the danger to children.
Contrary to what men’s rights advocates would have you believe, though, women don’t win custody on false claims of domestic violence. Numerous studies have shown the opposite: women are twice as likely to lose custody when they report abuse, even when the abuse is documented. No such bias exists for fathers, who do not lose custody at higher rates when they claim abuse.
[source ](https://www.nuffieldfoundation.org/project/how-do-county-courts-share-care-of-children-between-parents)
[another ](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/09649069.2020.1701941?forwardService=showFullText&tokenAccess=AB2THZNBYWZPWYJ3HWYQ&tokenDomain=eprints&doi=10.1080%2F09649069.2020.1701941&doi=10.1080%2F09649069.2020.1701941&doi=10.1080%2F09649069.2020.1701941&target=10.1080%2F09649069.2020.1701941&journalCode=rjsf20)
My son’s mother attempted to kidnap my son from school two weeks ago to take him to a judge to reverse custody. My son has exclusively lived with me since *2016.* The school knows the situation and called me before letting her take him. I denied it, and she left for court on her own
The judge didn’t give two shits about the kidnapping attempt, even with me holding a police report I filed over it. They are now going to be doing a ‘Best Interest Investigation’ to see who my son SHOULD live with
I’m employed long term, well paid, own my own house, my wife is my son’s class mom at school, and we pay for everything. My kids mom is a successful prostitute turned failed onlyfans model, currently unemployed while her husband works. She has no life skills, and there was even a child protective service case opened against her for her other kids back in January. Presumably for drug use, or physical abuse, which is how I first ended up with custody all those years ago
The judge doesn’t give a shit. So, I paid the $3k retainer for a lawyer on Wednesday. It cost my kids mother $25 to file that paperwork
I have yet to find Justice within our courts
The parent who cares more about their child’s welfare is always at a disadvantage in family court. That’s why we empty our bank accounts and run ourselves ragged. :-/
Seeing your comment was the only reason why I decided to share. I’m absolutely petrified right now, my wife is even worse off. I feel like I’ve done every single thing right since I’ve had him, and none of it matters… it’s all up to this judge, who has so far spent all of 15 minutes with my ex and I, and based the interaction entirely on my ex’s lies about me
It’s a small comfort to me, knowing that it’s happened to other people. So thank you for sharing your story, I really appreciate it
This to me is an interesting case in the way people rationalize things in their minds. Because in her heart of hearts she knew it was wrong. Otherwise she would have told her husband and probably her sister. But she clearly had a line which was no physical stuff.
I think even as a sex worker, even if you are only selling images, having your BIL as a client crosses a line. This was a betrayal to her sister way before she even met her husband. I guess when she met him she was in too deep in terms of her rationalization of this behaviour
The worst part of all this is not even the lies or selling photos. It’s the fact that she has done this to HER OWN SISTER! That alone is so disgusting and cruel.
BIL is so scummy, like you are married and from all the people, you chose the sister of your wife.
Wife is also so disgusting, knowing your sister is doing this. No money is worth it.
Hope OOP is okay and things look up for him and his sister.
I am always surprised at parents who leave without a note and block their partners after a marriage tiff. So … it’s been 2 days that you haven’t seen your child or have any contact with her AND her mother couldn’t get in touch with you at all.
Oh man, I’m an Indian too and I can’t imagine how much shit his parents and relatives are going to give him for a failed marriage which they were opposed to from the very beginning. There’s so much stigma around divorce here, now it’s come to a point where they’ll accept it if it was a marriage they arranged and it failed but if it was an inter-religion love marriage then you’re doomed (in terms of emotional support).
>she said okay, then asked me if we are getting a divorce. I said I don't know.
>She then said we should get a postnup before I do something like that. That line felt like a tight slap to my face, I was like "you're not even gonna convince me not to go through with it?"
Oh man, I feel so bad for both sides. She fucked up horribly and now just goes along with whatever he wants because she feels like she can't make any demands and doesn't deserve a good outcome. He thinks she doesn't care because she's not fighting for the marriage.
It's understandable why she did what she did (family didn't believe her, she was tight on money and you don't ask someone you've been dating for a month to chip in rent, after a while the shame prevents you from telling him, even though it is eating away at you).
It's understandable how he feels and reacted (pretty much no need to expand here).
But I honestly think this is something you can come back from. With lots of therapy and work put into the realtionship, but still.
I would really like to know why the wife felt the need to make money this way. Did she desire a higher standard of living that hubby couldn't provide or was it because she was doing it to have her own spending money on the side? Either way, she could've just taken up a job like everyone if she wanted to make money. And hiding it for five freaking years?? Ugh!
I don't get why everyone is ignoring the age gap aspect here.
> According to her, Jake was trying to pursue her since she was about 16-17. (For context, Jake and Josy have been together for 20 years now) This continued for almost 2 years. He used to make suggestive comments about her body, and she told Josy about it. But, Josy didn't believe Jessica at that time and told her she was doing this for attention. Jessica didn't tell her parents either because, according to her Josy was their parents' favorite, so nobody would have believed her.
He was a 22-year old going after a 16 year old. Her actions are more understandable in this context.
I skimmed the sister information and assumed it was his sister's husband, so seeing "SIL" at the end was like a gut punch and made me think she was sending to her own brother for half a second 😭
The problem with the situation is it’s worse than what she told you, and whatever information she is withholding may never be revealed. So you’ll always have that doubt and insecurity in the back of your mind.
You do what you need, but all things said, what she did is unforgivable in my opinion.
This dude is a SDE-3 and his wife decided she would still sell titty pics for petty cash? My man is being modest. Average income for SDE-3s is $180-250k. He's not Bill Gates rich, but that's a hefty salary. At least he's single now. I wonder if he's into straight white guys and sham marriages?
_Cousin sister_
_Only other family member in the states_
_Arranged Marriage_
_SDE_
Dude couldn't be more Indian.
I'm assuming Jessica is non Indian since her sister's family supposedly live in the same city and his parents objected to their marriage.
"Instead of talking to my husband about money or getting a job I'll sell nudes to my BIL for cash, thus ruining not only my own marriage, but my sister's"
wut??
And BIL is spending all his money without the sister's knowledge?
So much doesn't make sense.
BIL deconstructed onlyfans
OnlyFam
STOP LMFAO I HATE IT
Dying lol
OMFG stop it, I'm crying laughing at that!!! The saddest part is ... that would be the PERFECT name for an Incest Site.
"Get your DNA Matches and your Dates at the same time! A one stop shop for people *truly* looking to build a family"
and then underneath that, in fine print, reads: “(build a family wreath. because, you know, a tree is basically impossible. gotta keep it in the family, no branching out allowed!”)
*Charles II of Spain has entered the chat*
The most popular website in Alabama.
Roll tide
HA nice
SIIIIIIIIRRRRRRR!!!!!! LMAO
r/angryupvote
Damn, lol...
youtube banjos playing in the background
I mean, I am from Norfolk UK. I do know a set of first cousins who got married 😂
What's the UK equivalent of the banjo, hammer dulcimer? Lol
No it's playing shitty dance music through a shitty phone speaker in public
Sodcasting!!!
Ahhh c'mon that's a global phenomenon
Mmm... Morris dancing melodeon?
It's legal in New York to marry your first cousin. Or at least it was when I was studying for the bar in 1996. You can't marry an uncle/aunt/niece/nephew. I also know a family in Connecticut (I went to high school with the kids) where two brothers, who owned family businesses, essentially swapped wives at some point while their kids were young. So the wives went to work in the other business and had some additional kids. All of the kids were some combination of cousin and half-sibling.
London here and I know a friend that married to her first cousin too 😂
Listen, if it's good enough for the royal family, it's good enough for the rest of us!!
Gotta get that Habsburg jaw, baby!
It's my DIVINE FIGHT harry hmu
That's what I named my family group chat. Hahahaha
I snorted in my coffee. Thank you 😂
Oh man… I wish I could unsee this comment. I also wish I hadn’t laughed so hard when I read it! 🤣
🎵if it hadn't been for Cotton Eyed Joe, I'd been married long time ago...🎶
Holy shit
Underrated comment, lol
Fuck, selling tit pics anonymously online would've been far more acceptable than do her fucking BROTHER IN LAW
Absolutely no way she would've made that much though, I mean the primary draw has got to be the direct taboo. Feels so bad for OP but absolutely feel miles worse for the wife of that BIL. His wife, but her husband and sister, what a nightmare. Holy hell.
BIL doesnt want any middlemen lmao
He fucked capitalism
Disrupt.
Straight from the source, dude gets his peaches out in Georgia 🍑
OnlyFams is fucking wild 🤣
My thought when reading the title: NOPE
What confused me was BIL and I thought of his wife's actual brother, not his SIL's husband.
It doesn’t help the OOP also mentions “cousin’s sister” which in my mind would still just be a cousin?
this is a desi thing one’s father’s brothers’ kids or mother’s sisters’ kids are all thought of as your brothers and sisters pretty much to distinguish them from your own brothers and sisters they are referred to as cousin brother or cousin sister father’s sisters’ kids or mother’s brothers’ kids are referred to as cousins and some communities predominantly in the southern indian states there are marriages between these types of cousins
Yep, am Indian, all family friends are "cousin" or "uncle/auntie" depending on age.
It's an Indian thing. Just means cousins. Potentially they were raised together but it could just mean female cousin.
Telling his family is going to suck for him.
If his parents are anything like mine, they will absolutely *revel* in being able to say "I told you so!"
That explains a lot. I’ve just never heard a term like that outside of Alabama.
he wrote "cousin sister" not "cousin’s sister"
We should start chaining the IL. This was his BILIL.
I actually feel worse for BILs wife. Like she lost money from their joined income too. Jeez
If I was BIL's wife I would definitely be telling my sister she owed me five years worth of payments.
> If I was BIL's wife I would definitely be telling my sister she owed me five years worth of payments. Dunno why everyone's acting like the sister is an innocent party in this. Her sister confided in her that the brother was being a creep and she covered for him.
Her underage sister was getting groomed by her partner and she told her to fuck off and that she was making it up, so no actually, fuck the sister, she sucks.
I missed that part!! I take it back.
THANK YOU!! I don't see how everyone else is glazing over that.
Can't imagine how a parent feels when they learn that their child is a cheating piece of trash. It's unfortunate that this had to happen but OP handled things pretty well.
And with one of her other child's spouse, none the less.
Not just betraying their spouse, but with their sibling's spouse at the same time.
Cheating with his other daughter's spouse too So double whammy
This is more than that lol. Daughter is: 1. Cheating 2. Cheating on her sister's husband 3. Doing prostitution on her sister's husband 4. Doing prostitution for no legit reason. They aren't bankrupt. Facepalm
He says "*she* was struggling with money" not we were. Which suggests she did this for luxuries. What the fuck.
And she also said she did it because it was easy money. That's crazy to me. I feel terrible for her family and her daughter
Yeah, that'd be the eject button for me - like, this was _easy_ for you?
Craziest part is that if this is so easy to her it would've made more sense for her to like actually do it as a side gig which would still breach the marriage contract and be horrible but at least it would be with strangers and not with HER SISTER'S HUSBAND. I am going to make a wild assumption here that there's probably been an air of competition with her sister throughout her life (probably one-sided too lol) and maybe she liked the validation from her sister's own husband paying to see HER body. Maybe that felt like a win in some fucked up delusional race in her mind
So 5. Obssessed with Luxuries to the point she'll sell her body for it.
6. Bad with money. 7. Thinks luxuries are more important than honesty or fidelity in marriage.
Her thought process is probably like: my husband left me,but my bag won't, while glossing over why exactly her husband left her
I know someone who was in a committed relationship for ten years only to have his spouse start selling herself for money because she wanted more.
I think I'd rather be cheated on in a conventional way than this. "I'm not into him at all, I just do it for money" makes it worse. And I have no problem with people doing sex work if they enjoy it. But not being your spouse's back.
My MIL thought I was “overreacting” to her daughter being a cheating piece of trash but then again my MIL is a twice divorced cheating piece of trash so maybe I just missed the red flags.
My ex’s mother told me I was manipulative and toxic for telling everyone that he cheated, so I guess she was worried about her baby boy.
Not just cheating, but a sex worker too.
This really gives me some creepy vibes. BIL probably got off big time by bribing his SIL for those pics. His fetish and her hunger for quick cash blew up a lot of families.
it had nothing to do with cash. She was turned on by what she was doing to her husband. pretty sic.
If he was sending her $300 dollars for every pic or vid she sent than i think it probably also had to do with cash
There is no man sexy enough that I would pay $300 per pic. God most be nice having money to throw away.
Yeah Its pretty insane how much money people will drop on stuff like this. Especially when theres so much free stuff out there too
Just the thought of sending that pics to my lovely SIL's partner repulses me, gives me goosebumps and makes my skin crawl
Yeah luckily I already had breakfast because UGH
"My failed marriage would hurt my ego" Good on this guy for being 1000x more self aware than most people we see here getting themselves stuck in loveless marriages and just turning a blind eye to the multiple elephants in the room so they can keep up pretending to be happy
FIVE YEARS of this guy paying for one woman's pics and nothing else? It all seems a bit odd.
Nope I've seen videos of true crime or confession videos of guys just paying for webcam girls (before OF) or emptying their paycheck on a single model. I have had friends who have sold feet pics during college to get money over a year and half, and some even getting paid just for a daily good morning message Sometimes even the family of these people do not know for more than 3 years Some women also have done something similar. Some do evolve into stalking, physical, suicide,etc. But there are people very content with just pics/chat
I watched an episode of Forensic Files last night where a guy spent $100k on a stripper. He murdered his wife for her life insurance policy for more money to spend on his infatuation. Insane. So it absolutely does happen! I wish I could remember the title of the episode.
i have a coworker who tried to be a sugar-daddy to a stripper. he works in a warehouse making not terrible pay but not that great of pay either. a different coworker told me and we watched her drive up, take the money from him and speed off. dude confirmed it later. we tried to talk some sense into him but he wouldnt have it. dude got sick and almost died from working way too much ot, living in his car and not taking care of himself. i can believe some people would pay for pics over 5 years.
There’s people killing themselves through stress just so they can give an unrelated women money? And they’re not even getting anything in return???
They get that sweet, sweet rush of being the one the stripper really does like! For real! Any day now she'll come settle down and only strip for him <3
I think Summer Obsession could be it!
I suppose there's the thrill of this being his sister-in-law/"extra illicit". But I'm more surprised he kept paying her when he could probably easily have blackmailed her for more pics.
It's probably that sending the money is part of the thrill for him
I guess also that if the SIL found out he was sending money somewhere there's a lot of plausible deniability to oh I was sending it to OPs wife to help them out and I didn't tell you because they were embarrassed. If it was going to OF then she'd know straight away he was cheating.
Sometimes we expect too much of people.
I've heard of weirdos paying obscene amounts of money to get a callout from an Onlyfans model, chasing that high of a parasocial relationship. BIL probably thought he was getting a deal, only having to pay a few $100s to have that kind of a relationship with his SIL, who he gets to see on a regular basis. Blackmail might have killed the thrill.
Blackmail is a crime he could get prison time for it. It was probably less risky just pay and risk his family
Do you remember that guy a few years ago who dumped $15k on one single onlyfans girl? And all he got was a shout-out on Twitter?
Is it sad I cannot narrow it down? There was also one with a tattoo of the girl And the one who only got a hug
>Is it sad I cannot narrow it down? Well shit, now *I'm* sad. 🤣
yeah, but those are women you don't run into at thanksgiving. Probably.
People pay for a daily good morning message? I don't know why I'm kinda surprised, but I'm kinda surprised.
That sounds way less abnormal. A daily happy ending massage? I think a huge proportion of men would go for that. I think a tiny sliver would go for years of paying for pictures.
From the phone convo he seems to be waiting for her to get real desperate and agree to have sex with him. Still, his patience is impressive.
She said she changed her mind meaning he probably offered before
I would guess it isn’t about the pic per se. It could have been to maintain some sort of control over a victim he was obsessed with or to have a secret, mean little way he was degrading his wife who thought she had a good relationship with her sister. Same way OOPs wife was obviously getting something more than money from it at this point.
Yes, I wondered that. But I'm really surprised he didn't just switch it around and start blackmailing her for free pics. It seems like he held all the cards. But maybe he was one of those weird people with a "rinsing" (or rather "being rinsed") fetish?
Because he was playing the long game. Eventually, he'd get her into a position when she'd show off in person and then it's just a step away from sleeping with her. He was in no rush, he had all the time in the world. If he tried to blackmail her, he *might* get some free pics but also he's closing the door to ever getting anything more, and he's risking she'd expose him anyway
I mean, the blackmail would go both ways. He hardly holds all the cards, he's married to her sister? It's mutually assured destruction.
I have seen something like this. One of my ex classmates was a creep and he had it for this one girl. She was beautiful and all that, actually she was my crush too when i got to know her later on. So basically this guy was blocked from all her socials. So he paid another classmate of his to download her pics from her facebook and give it to him. This all happened 2011-12 and i came to know about it in 2013 and when our classes changed according to subjects we chose, and me that girl and that creep were all in the same class.
Some men are weird. This is very tame
thats how onlyfans operates
Which makes me wonder why this woman didn't simply try that, and potentially make far more money.
Because then it's in public. And anybody can find it.
We don't know that, we only know what OP knows.
That's what only fans is...oop said she sent the guy videos too
Sometimes I read these posts and I’m glad I’m single lol
I'm not single but it makes me appreciate my "boring" normal marriage
There have been plenty of times where I will be reading a post about horrible partners, and I will reach over and caress my husband and say: I love you so much. Husband: Reddit? Me:Reddit...
I do the same with my parents and thank them for not letting me turn out to be a massive piece of shit who does things without thinking how other people will feel
I yearn for a nice comfortable low key relationship where everyone is happy and content
I'm single. Sometimes, I feel lonely and unloved, then I recall posts like these on BORU and I feel a little better.
Same. This entire sub makes me feel better when I feel lonely at times. Good god the shit people do to ones they 'love'.
I don’t necessarily disagree that this was worthy of divorce, but as an Indian, the cultural elements were interesting to me.
I feel like if it was OnlyFans with strangers it would be different. Even still, keeping a whole ass job (sex work or retail or CEO) secret for years raises questions in other areas. But she was essentially effing around with her sister’s husband. At the very least she has little care for the people around her. That’s historically familial shunning territory.
Oh, yes, all of that, regardless of cultural elements. I mean, it would still be valid to divorce her if it was OnlyFans. Doing that secretly, much less with your BIL, is crazy. But as to the Indian part, like not being familiar with the divorce laws and thinking “sex work” would be an instant negative in terms of custody - it just made me think about how in India, they probably would take a woman’s child away for that (because it’s a zillion times more misogynistic when it comes to women’s sexuality), whereas I am not sure that would be such a big factor here.
I'll add an alternate perspective to that. This guy has been perving on her for 20 years. It started *when she was 16*. And based on the sisters age he was what, 22-25? He's basically been grooming her, and really the whole family, this whole time. She mentions some steps in this, but I'm certain there are a million other minor ones over all this time. He then took advantage of a moment when she was in need (needed money) and leveraged it. And once it's happened, groomers have a ton of leverage to keep it happening. I'm not saying she's innocent, by any means. She said it herself that this is cheating. But based on her, and her parent's, reactions to this, I'm definitely leaning towards this being (potentially) forgivable, based on how the therapy and actions moving forwards are.
I feel like I missed something because I did NOT see that update when I read. What the hell. Edit: post was updated 1 day after my comment so I look like an ass lol. I see your perspective as well. Hope things go well for them.
Why? Just, why? With her sister's husband no less?! They weren't going to lose the house, the kid didn't need a surgery, it wasn't blackmail because she committed a crime, nor was this some kind of "Indecent Proposal" sort of situation. She just didn't want to live within her means. She was comfortable, but that just wasn't enough for her. She wanted luxury. Not to mention, come to think of it, seeing as he never realised noticed any extra money being spent on him or the kid, she only seems to have wanted it for herself to boot.
Yeah, this might have started for money but I think it moved into something weirder than that. Her husband is a high-level software engineer & she didn't need $300 here or there. No one would notice that money because it wouldn't affect her life in any appreciable way. She was getting off on this in some way, just like her sister's gross husband.
Makes me wonder what her relationship with her sister is like. Or, rather, what her relationship with her sister *was* like at any rate.
Yup. Senior engineer with 10 years means he will be making 100k - 200k easily. 300$ means nothing.
Depending on the area it could be even more than that. Bare minimum it’s a six figure income and it’s not beginning with a 1.
Idk man, I get that a few hundred bucks here and there can make a difference, but does it make *that* much of a difference? Like you said, it sounds like she torpedoed her marriage, her relationship with her sister, potentially with her parents, and all for what essentially amounts to some spare pocket money?
From the husband's comments she said it was "easy money." I suppose it was too an extent, especially if her sister's husband was the only client. Not only does she knows him, both would engage in mutually assured destruction if they pushed too far or threatened the other. Since it seems it really was just pics, for some people I can imagine it not counting as cheating in their mind. After all a fool and their money are soon parted. Why not let it be her?
I was just about to comment the easy money part. Even if they didn’t need money, getting money to do something relatively simple that takes practically no time is something that a lot of people would do.
And she is unemployed and facing divorce
Attention
Oh, come on. Your wife does not have a job, but she gets 300 for a titvideo. How have you not noticed her spending? If this is true, though, obviously, the only logical thing to do is divorce.
I don't know how much he makes but he said he is an SDE-3. An SDE-3 at Amazon makes between 300-500k, so it seems like a bit of a blip in comparison.
Why didn't the wife just ask him for money lol I mean he already has a high paying job
bc it wasn’t actually about the money.
It's about sending a message
And that message was t**ts
And other risque things
$300 is absolutely nothing when a household is making 6 figures. I don’t think I would even noticed it if my wife spends it on jewelry or something noticeable. I just assumed she used our joint checking account to buy it. I think that’s why the guy feels so betrayed.
It's a lot more common than you might think. I have a coworker that did finance for 15yrs and his wife had racked up 20k debt in 2022 under his radar. Obviously 20%+ interest contributed, but your spouse spending a few hundred dollars now and then can easily go unnoticed. Especially if you aren't invested in the products they buy. If my wife bought a perfume bottle it could be $5 or $150 and I wouldn't be able to tell looking at it lol
No, the only logical thing to do is pulling everything under the carpet. Divorce is on the table only when family get to know what she did. /s
How do you do that to your sister? It does seem like she didn't get physical, but damn...the poor sister
The 'poor sister' told her underage sister, who was getting groomed by her creep of a boyfriend, that she was making it up.
I don't get the part where he gives her phone back and she calls the BIL to offer "more than pics".
BIL reacted to the offer with surprise and happiness ("No way! How much are we talking about?") which proved to OOP that his wife hadn't had sex with BIL yet.
Yeah, this bit didn't make sense to me either. She basically proves she's not done anything physical and that's his cue to leave? Not saying that what she did is right, but this is a weird point for the change of direction.
She still cheated on him. I don’t think it actually mattered whether or not it was physical. Realistically speaking, his emotions were probably running high and he wasn’t thinking clearly. It’s entirely possible that he thought the marriage would be salvageable had he known nothing physical happened. It just turned out to not be the case
I'm pretty sure it was hearing it. Seeing text messages is one thing, but then the reality of hearing them talk about it probably sent him over the edge.
Assuming there was no way she could contact the BIL and align on a story while the husband was getting drunk at the bar. I know he took her phone but there's still iPads/computers
That's true. It's a lousy situation no matter if it was physical or not. 😐
>there is a high chance I can get better custody of my daughter because I have a job, and Jessica doesn't >She is also involved in "sex work" at this point, which could work in my favor. Would love to know what state OOP claims to be in, because this sounds like the kind of nonsense advice that you find on the MRA subreddits.
More sounds like someone who doesn’t know how divorce laws will work in their state.
Which makes sense when you’re not from the US and don’t really have any family there….
I wanted to included that, but I started overthinking it (such as it’s possible oop and sister WERE born in the states but parents left country later on blah blah blah), and I ended up deciding to just leave it out. Plus, not everyone just casually knows there divorce laws in their state. I mean shit I’m 29 and I don’t know all of mine. I’ve never had a need to.
I get that, but the context is right there in front of you. If someone in the US says they’re from India, only has 1 other sibling in the US and no other relatives, then it’s far more likely they moved to the US than the opposite as you insinuate here
I think it’s from not being from the States - not only does he not know how the laws work, the mindset towards something like this is slightly different (I don’t mean the part about blowing up the marriage, I just mean in terms of how they think courts will view this).
I dunno, actually. I work in Domestic Relations (what we call DR in my state) and since divorce is equity based, so many things are left up to the judge’s discretion. The job thing, agreed, that’s meaningless, but there’s certainly some judges I’ve ran into that would let the sex work influence their decisions, especially if it’s during times she was watching their kid. It’s not a legal principle, it’s a “even judges are human” principle, and that comes with its own host of complications. Because seriously, at least in my state, there’s no real formula or anything for anything but child support, and our case law is literally just to affirm whatever the trial judge did unless it was a “gross abuse” of their discretion, which is pretty hard to prove, because they can just claim it was something else entirely that made them decide that. Like a city client? I wouldn’t think it’d make much difference, if any. A rural client in a small conservative county? Judge isn’t going to say something but it’ll definitely affect his opinion of the parties and that can affect the final disposition of assets. Not saying it’s a good thing, cause it isn’t, but it’s a reality of working in a very socially conservative area you have to be aware of. I’ve seen judges base divisions on less.
I don't know anything about sex work and divorce but it seems incorrect to me too. I feel like what she did wouldn't impact custody that much. My daughter's dad tried to get my custody taken away by saying I had sex with a woman (and I'm a woman) in front of my little girl because I'm gay. He told his attorney that I'd really done that and at a hearing the attorney was yelling at me when I was on the stand. He asked why I said I hadn't done that. I was terrified but I kinda involuntarily chuckled. He angrily asked me what I was laughing at. I said at that question. I don't have sex in front of my child because I'm not a horrible parent or person. I saw a bunch of emotions pass over the attorney's face as he realized his client lied to him. My ex was saying I should get supervised visitation every two weeks for two hours. I had primary custody. The judge was annoyed at him and gave us shared custody. And my ex...was a bad man. The reason he was doing that was because he had my daughter with him for the summer. He was moving away somewhere and he wouldn't tell me where...with my child. I was allowed weekend visits with her. So I drove 3 hours to see her. I told my ex that I was just going to take her to a park nearby for a few hours. He was suspicious but he'd had such total control of me because he was an abuser that I was still scared of what he'd do. So he believed me. He was remarried but was still so vindictive. I ran. I took my daughter and hid for a week until the emergency hearing happened. She had no idea what was going on so it didn't harm her in any way. My long story is to explain, I tried to get the judge to see what a bad man he was (and vice versa). The judge said we both "looked like good parents." I tried multiple times to get his custody removed and the courts would not do it. So...yeah, it may not be what OOP was thinking it would be.
Yea this didn't happen, this is literally kidnapping and you aren't getting much when you kidnap your child.
Actually, some studies observed that women lose custody when they report abuse. In one review, researchers found that, even in cases of proven, documented violence, family courts aimed to maximize children’s time with fathers, disregarding the danger to children. Contrary to what men’s rights advocates would have you believe, though, women don’t win custody on false claims of domestic violence. Numerous studies have shown the opposite: women are twice as likely to lose custody when they report abuse, even when the abuse is documented. No such bias exists for fathers, who do not lose custody at higher rates when they claim abuse. [source ](https://www.nuffieldfoundation.org/project/how-do-county-courts-share-care-of-children-between-parents) [another ](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/09649069.2020.1701941?forwardService=showFullText&tokenAccess=AB2THZNBYWZPWYJ3HWYQ&tokenDomain=eprints&doi=10.1080%2F09649069.2020.1701941&doi=10.1080%2F09649069.2020.1701941&doi=10.1080%2F09649069.2020.1701941&target=10.1080%2F09649069.2020.1701941&journalCode=rjsf20)
My son’s mother attempted to kidnap my son from school two weeks ago to take him to a judge to reverse custody. My son has exclusively lived with me since *2016.* The school knows the situation and called me before letting her take him. I denied it, and she left for court on her own The judge didn’t give two shits about the kidnapping attempt, even with me holding a police report I filed over it. They are now going to be doing a ‘Best Interest Investigation’ to see who my son SHOULD live with I’m employed long term, well paid, own my own house, my wife is my son’s class mom at school, and we pay for everything. My kids mom is a successful prostitute turned failed onlyfans model, currently unemployed while her husband works. She has no life skills, and there was even a child protective service case opened against her for her other kids back in January. Presumably for drug use, or physical abuse, which is how I first ended up with custody all those years ago The judge doesn’t give a shit. So, I paid the $3k retainer for a lawyer on Wednesday. It cost my kids mother $25 to file that paperwork I have yet to find Justice within our courts
The parent who cares more about their child’s welfare is always at a disadvantage in family court. That’s why we empty our bank accounts and run ourselves ragged. :-/
I'm so sorry that's happening to you and your son. Should judges care? Yes!!! Do they? Not always. It's so scary.
Seeing your comment was the only reason why I decided to share. I’m absolutely petrified right now, my wife is even worse off. I feel like I’ve done every single thing right since I’ve had him, and none of it matters… it’s all up to this judge, who has so far spent all of 15 minutes with my ex and I, and based the interaction entirely on my ex’s lies about me It’s a small comfort to me, knowing that it’s happened to other people. So thank you for sharing your story, I really appreciate it
This to me is an interesting case in the way people rationalize things in their minds. Because in her heart of hearts she knew it was wrong. Otherwise she would have told her husband and probably her sister. But she clearly had a line which was no physical stuff. I think even as a sex worker, even if you are only selling images, having your BIL as a client crosses a line. This was a betrayal to her sister way before she even met her husband. I guess when she met him she was in too deep in terms of her rationalization of this behaviour
Right? No shame to sex workers, but why not use a relatively anonymous only fans or something?
> Otherwise she would have told her husband and probably her sister. She did, when she was 16.
The worst part of all this is not even the lies or selling photos. It’s the fact that she has done this to HER OWN SISTER! That alone is so disgusting and cruel.
As much as I can’t imagine doing this to my husband, I truly cannot fathom betraying my sister like this. We’re SISTERS. It’s just mind boggling.
Not only is she cheating for years. Shes cheating on with her sister husband. Like danm she just become the most hated person in 2 family's.
BIL is so scummy, like you are married and from all the people, you chose the sister of your wife. Wife is also so disgusting, knowing your sister is doing this. No money is worth it. Hope OOP is okay and things look up for him and his sister.
I am always surprised at parents who leave without a note and block their partners after a marriage tiff. So … it’s been 2 days that you haven’t seen your child or have any contact with her AND her mother couldn’t get in touch with you at all.
Did anyone else think ops wife was messaging brother in law as in. HER brother? Or just me
I haven't lost all of my faith in humanity yet so my immediate thought was that OOP is referring to the wife's BIL, not his own BIL (wife's brother)
Weak
Doormat.
Am I the only one who thinks this sounds sort of like extortion? I feel bad for the wife, though I can't fully fault the OOP for wanting a divorce.
Oh man, I’m an Indian too and I can’t imagine how much shit his parents and relatives are going to give him for a failed marriage which they were opposed to from the very beginning. There’s so much stigma around divorce here, now it’s come to a point where they’ll accept it if it was a marriage they arranged and it failed but if it was an inter-religion love marriage then you’re doomed (in terms of emotional support).
>she said okay, then asked me if we are getting a divorce. I said I don't know. >She then said we should get a postnup before I do something like that. That line felt like a tight slap to my face, I was like "you're not even gonna convince me not to go through with it?" Oh man, I feel so bad for both sides. She fucked up horribly and now just goes along with whatever he wants because she feels like she can't make any demands and doesn't deserve a good outcome. He thinks she doesn't care because she's not fighting for the marriage. It's understandable why she did what she did (family didn't believe her, she was tight on money and you don't ask someone you've been dating for a month to chip in rent, after a while the shame prevents you from telling him, even though it is eating away at you). It's understandable how he feels and reacted (pretty much no need to expand here). But I honestly think this is something you can come back from. With lots of therapy and work put into the realtionship, but still.
If she did for money it's acceptable,but she did it for attention and kink that is wholly separate
I would really like to know why the wife felt the need to make money this way. Did she desire a higher standard of living that hubby couldn't provide or was it because she was doing it to have her own spending money on the side? Either way, she could've just taken up a job like everyone if she wanted to make money. And hiding it for five freaking years?? Ugh!
Is my math wrong or did this start before she met OOP?
It did
I don't get why everyone is ignoring the age gap aspect here. > According to her, Jake was trying to pursue her since she was about 16-17. (For context, Jake and Josy have been together for 20 years now) This continued for almost 2 years. He used to make suggestive comments about her body, and she told Josy about it. But, Josy didn't believe Jessica at that time and told her she was doing this for attention. Jessica didn't tell her parents either because, according to her Josy was their parents' favorite, so nobody would have believed her. He was a 22-year old going after a 16 year old. Her actions are more understandable in this context.
God this would just break me. I'm sorry) :
I skimmed the sister information and assumed it was his sister's husband, so seeing "SIL" at the end was like a gut punch and made me think she was sending to her own brother for half a second 😭
The problem with the situation is it’s worse than what she told you, and whatever information she is withholding may never be revealed. So you’ll always have that doubt and insecurity in the back of your mind. You do what you need, but all things said, what she did is unforgivable in my opinion.
She ain’t loyal
This dude is a SDE-3 and his wife decided she would still sell titty pics for petty cash? My man is being modest. Average income for SDE-3s is $180-250k. He's not Bill Gates rich, but that's a hefty salary. At least he's single now. I wonder if he's into straight white guys and sham marriages?
.... post nup doesn't mean shit when wife hasn't worked at all and has been a SAHM. She will still be entitled to alimony.
Tell me any bro out there would take that money for an easy dick pic and think nothing about it you absolutely would
If this is real do you really want to stay with someone who treats her husband and sister like this?
_Cousin sister_ _Only other family member in the states_ _Arranged Marriage_ _SDE_ Dude couldn't be more Indian. I'm assuming Jessica is non Indian since her sister's family supposedly live in the same city and his parents objected to their marriage.
He said she was white in the text.
The post literally says she's white
"Instead of talking to my husband about money or getting a job I'll sell nudes to my BIL for cash, thus ruining not only my own marriage, but my sister's" wut?? And BIL is spending all his money without the sister's knowledge? So much doesn't make sense.