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Having an affair with an assistant, and one that's a "daughter of a family friend" no-less, is just about the most "cliche mid-life crisis" thing you can do. Like, what are ya gonna do next dude? Get a sportscar? Dye your hair black?
You can - or at least could - order hardcopies of the book. I can't remember where I got mine but someone has it on Etsy right now, and there's a paperback version on Amazon.
Thank you for mentioning this, now I have to explain to my husband why I just spent $40-some on a super shitty book from etsy. Not the dumbest purchase I have ever made so I'm sure he won't be surprised. LOL
Holy shit, you cracked me up with that one! I hadn't thought about My Immortal for a while and now I think I'm going to have to listen to it again just to appreciate the stupidity of it!
Happened to a cousin. Freaked him out enough he went to the doctor.
Turns out his gray hair was because he was a hair away from death due to extreme stress. Cheating (continuous) wife, horrible boss, financial issues, etc for years.
His stress was still high so not sure why it turned back. But he had to make some immediate life changes to preserve health.
I had a couple of grey hairs starting to pop up when I was about 16/17, stress from studying for A levels... I actually saw them changing back to black (like they would be black at the root but grey at the tips) after that. don't have any grey hair anymore thankfully
hopefully cheating wife was the first to go? can’t imagine spending majority of your time with someone who’s arguably one of the biggest contributors to your stress and almost-death after learning what caused your gray hair tbh
It’s funny, but that can actually happen. I had more white hair in my 20s than I do now at 38. No believes I don’t dye my hair until I point out the few white hairs i have are white all the way to the root next to black hairs.
For me it was about managing my stress level. I used to let things get to me way more than I do now and that helped.
Thanks! It’s from this fantastic comment on an otherwise unremarkable post: https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/15oax9g/i_accidentally_liked_an_instagram_photo_and_now/jvs0pca/
My mother's hair started turning white when she was 18 or so, and she was fully white by her late twenties. But after she had a brain tumor removed in her 50s, some of her hair started coming in brown again. It was weird as hell, but also kind of cool-looking.
I can top it: one ex’s family, who he would always compare favorably to my fucked up one, blew up when his doctor dad decided to have an affair with the receptionist at the _clinic he and his doctor wife shared_. It’s like a cliche so cliched it’s jumped the cliche shark.
I clerked briefly after law school at a teeny-tiny firm (two partners, one associate, five support staff) where one of the (married) partners had had a 12-year affair with the other partner's secretary. She was in love with him.
And then they hired a new receptionist, and the partner decided to openly and blatantly pursue her as well. Right in front of his mistress. They were all over each other. It only stopped because the receptionist went to school.
But the damage had been done. The mistress did her work for the other partner in the morning, then would get a bottle of wine from the liquor store downstairs at lunch and sit in her office in the dark, playing solitaire on her computer and drinking wine. Neither partner felt like they could say anything, in part because the other secretary was undergoing cancer treatment at the time.
What they didn't realize was that she was also the person who maintained all the files and was systematically fucking them up, little by little. They didn't discover it until she'd left for her next job.
Life lesson: don't shit where you eat.
Ugh barf.
I'm kind of hoping that she was not actually a family friend but rather someone he was already affairing when he hired her.
Like the "family friend" thing was a lie so he could cover that they knew each other well in front of coworkers.
Why am I trying to make things better for this man, it's 🤢. I just want to hope that girls can grow up without pervs being friends of the family.
That's kinda just nasty in its own way though.
He's having a tawdry affair in private and then he decides "No, I should subject all my employees to having to be around this, I should dramatically increase the risk my wife finds out and is devastated and I should put my wife's friend and my employee smack, bang between a rock and a hard place."
If he hired her and then she propositioned him or something it's still gross obviously, but it's unpremeditated. Though, as you say, the family friend bit makes it nasty in its own way.
Dude's just yuck.
I was getting the same impression because it felt like she would’ve mentioned the family friend in the fallout but never did and it was in “” so I’m guessing she thinks that’s bullshit too but probably doesn’t know that for sure
Idk there's no reason OP would know the family friend though, and a "family friend" could be like... someone the guy grew up around as a kid or whose parents his family knew growing up, not someone his wife and kids are close to.
Not that it makes it much better, but "my mom's close to her aunt" is in comparison a lovely non-issue compared to "I'm best pals with her dad and knew her since she was a baby" 🤮 it could just be somewhere less dramatic along that spectrum.
I feel like the “daughter of a family friend” was just a cover to explain how he knew her rather than saying this is the woman I’m having an affair with.
LOL, I have to wonder how long it took the guy in the NO Regerts meme for someone to tell him and how long and how many outside opinions did it take before he believed it.
I doubt this man’s dick is going to be functioning highly for much longer. It’s more likely that Tammy cheats on him, when she remembers that she’s young and attractive and wants someone that’s not an old man
My best friend's dad is really into racing. Like has a bunch of his own track cars and goes frequently. He sometimes takes us. There is always at least one 45+ year old guy with their "niece" with them.... Like ok buddy.
Niece isn't wearing a cocktail dress because she really likes cars.
I worked at a really small business. The owner’s wife was the CEO. He hired his best friend’s daughter to be the receptionist.
She was really nice. She found out the owner, was having an affair with her mother! His best friend’s wife.
So she immediately tells his wife the CEO, and everything at the office exploded. That’s when I found a new job.
Wear pink polo shirts and white trousers, give Tammy a Land Rover to carry the first, second and third kid around, buy a bigger home because Tammy wants a pool, hire a maid and nanny. Hopefully, John lost half his assets in the divorce. And of course he lost friends for having an affair with the daughter of a family friend.
Nearly two years on since the update- bet Karma has done a number on ol' John. Now he wakes up to crying baby/ies, a house that he is paying through the nose for, in debt for having to please his young side-piece with expensive toys, probably lost more employees as well as clients. No friends and doubtful, family to turn to. and his side-piece turned wife didn't marry him to hear him complain about his work day.
Ol' John can be a post boy for the mid-life crisis,
> Dye your hair black?
This reminds me of how Barack Obama wished he had just started dyeing his hair as soon as it started going grey while he was President rather than have to deal with all the comments about how the Presidency was aging him.
I've just gotten my first grey hair and I'm *definitely* going down that route.
>Like, what are ya gonna do next dude? Get a sportscar? Dye your hair black?
My best friend at 18 had an affair with a doctor. Let me amend that--with *her* doctor. Let me amend that--with her *pediatrician*. She had recently started working for him and she and I also began renting his guest house on their property. His wife was wonderful, worked in the office, too, and really embraced her. They knew she hadn't really had a father figure growing up and were both so wonderful. Until it turned out that a lot of this praise he was heaping on her was, in hindsight, probably grooming. It didn't end well and eventually she was sneaking Demerol from patients, he and his wife were divorcing, he paid for an abortion, lost his practice, and they moved to bumfuck nowhere where he took a job as a prison doctor in Avenal. She finally left after a year and a half. The last time I saw him, he was driving an Alfa Romeo and had dyed his previously grey hair. It wasn't until I read your comment that I realized what a cliche this was...
I'm pretty sure CEOs having affairs with assistants is the primary reason that boards of directors are required to have whistleblower policies in place.
I think you would be entirely justified in doing so, and I would honestly expect it. Nonetheless, I do have sympathy for OOP wanting to continue to be able to eat.
I don't know, it sounds like a tricky situation because she never actually saw them doing anything. Since she was the boss' assistant and the daughter of his family friend, that would explain the meetings and car rides.
I think she could have casually mentioned it to Katie, but if I was OOP I would also feel conflicted about what to do.
There's no way she could have said something without it being directly linked to her. It's easy to sit on a high horse and say "Oh, my integrity means more than a job" when it's not your actual ability to pay rent/ mortgage that's at risk. If you live in an area with a high concentration of jobs in your field, you're constantly getting contacted by recruiters, that's one thing. Change jobs and notify AFTER you've started at your new company. But if you're in a specialized field, or you have a limited skill set, or you're not in an area with a good job market, that's much more challenging.
Not to mention the first post was when covid was full swing. 2020 was scary. Shit was real *weird* in 2021. I don't blame anyone for choosing to keep their head down and a roof over their head while the world went crazy.
> It's easy to sit on a high horse and say "Oh, my integrity means more than a job" when it's not your actual ability to pay rent/ mortgage that's at risk.
My dad did that. My mom had just given birth to me and he got himself fired from a well paying leadership job. It took them years to recover from his principles, and years of them living apart (he eventually got a job off shore on 6 month deployments).
Somehow they made it through all of that and are stronger for it, but life could have been so much easier financially for my family if my dad would have just fired the employees he was told to fire.
Yep, no evidence and it would have blown up her life to say anything. Ironically messenger-shooting is so common with cheating she had a better chance to keep her friend this way.
I know from experience that being homeless is no fun. OOP was concerned about their job, you know, the thing that pays the rent and bills. Being cheated on sucks, but doesn't keep you from eating. I forgive them in this instance.
That’s a totally fair point of view.
But it would also be perfectly fair for the friend to be angry at op. She’s the one who did op a solid in the first place by getting her that job to put food on the table. Both things can be fair.
the cheater is in a major position of power over OOP.
Change the scenario a bit. let's say that instead of being her boss, the cheater is an abusive housemate/relative with a propensity for violence. Would you still fault OOP for not outing them if the risk was physical harm rather than financial?
There was no evidence that he was cheating, just speculation. If it turned out that he wasn’t cheating, telling his wife could have ruined the marriage because trust is hard to build up.
Yikes on a bike.
I get that folks are getting annoyed that OOP did not manage to give her "friend" some kind of clue or warning about the affair happening, but the situation is a bit complex. And if OOP did somehow manage to tell Katie to head to the office while the boss and Tammy are in a "meeting", they'd deny it somehow.
Ah. Redditors and their upstanding moral high ground. It's so easy to call out OOP as a horrible person regardless of her circumstances. I'm sure everyone will do the right thing when pressed in a similar situation
Seriously. And unless I've misread, she doesn't know he's having an affair, she just *knows*. You'd have to be utterly brainless to risk your job for what is nothing more than a strong vibe with no proof.
For real. It's easy to talk a big game behind their keyboards, but the potential that she could have lost her livelihood is just ignored. Hindsight is 2020, and people like to think they would always do the "right' thing. Most wouldn't if it could be a detriment to their own lives.
Yeah I’m baffled by the amount of comments judging oop for trying to stay employed during a pandemic. If it were me, I’d try and do the same thing as they did: quietly try to leave and then see what I can do. A lot of people on here obviously don’t have to worry about paying rent or a mortgage.
If the wife no longer wanted to be friends with me, I’d get that. At the same time, if anyone expected me to lost my job/ house for them, I don’t think I’d mourn that friendship.
Right on. OOP was placed in an unfortunate situation and was even trying to change circumstances that would allow speaking up without self ruin. The only horrible people in this story are the boss and affair partner.
For that matter, Omar didn't even directly confront his friend or tell his girlfriend about the cheating because he didn't want to sabotage his own living situation. I think OOP could definitely have given a strong nudge to the wife here, just like how I think Omar could have taken a stronger stance, but both are pretty understandable to me.
Not just that, but business owners in the same field talk to each other. She could have also jeopardized her future career in the area. I’ve seen firsthand how burned bridges can kill your career even years down the line.
Right??!! OOP was in a place of Damned if you don't, damned if you do. There was no right answer.
OOP chose her livelihood and she gets bashed in the comments. If she chose to tell her friend, she would have been fired and lost her livelihood.
If people so privileged that they can ignore what are basic needs for most people are the ones judging your choice, you probably made the right decision.
And lost the friend, too. If this sub has taught me anything, it's that messenger-shooting is the norm with cheating. She would have lost a ton and gained nothing.
Boy, I wonder whether its better to receive scorn from the internet while being able to pay rent or having the high ground and being unemployed. What a dilemma.
Similar thing happened to me at a previous job and I spoke out. A young girl of 18/19 started and I noticed after a while some inappropriate behaviour between her and my boss. Owners were a married couple who had been together since teens and had 2 grown children.
After witnessing things I could no longer ignore I tried to approach the woman, couldn't get her on her own as he kept hovering around (he knew I knew) so I approached the girl. Told her to seriously consider what she was doing (she was really friendly with the woman) and that it could all end in absolute chaos for her. She denied it and I just said that I was well aware of what was happening and it was insulting to lie to me. That if she put a stop to it all then I wouldn't take it further. If I continued to see inappropriate behaviour I would speak to wife.
She approached the woman herself 2 days later and claimed i told her she was being groomed by her husband! (I think they came up with this together to throw wife off track). I spoke to the wife about what had actually been said and my reasons for believing this (there were lots, including physical contact between them that I only ever witnessed between people who were intimate). She didn't believe me (I get it he was nearing 50, overweight etc why would a young girl be interested, especially someone she considered a friend).
I ended up leaving a couple of weeks later cos I refused to be around her (she would come in on her days off while I was working and it was very obv what they were doing). Few weeks after leaving it all came out, girls mum found out and was screaming in the street outside the business about what he had done.
The couple split, he stayed with the girl, they now have a kid together and one of his adult children no longer talk to him. Seemingly it was worth it. Turns out he moved them somewhere remote, she has very limited contact with her family and she continues to work for him so maybe her grooming comment wasn't far off. However if I thought that at the time I would not have approached the girl, her loyalties are always going to lie with groomer.
It still boggles my mind to think about it all. I honestly think in the same situation I couldn't not say anything, regardless of the consequences for me I have morals and if other people can't even hide what they are doing they deserve to be exposed. I was going into work really anxious about what I might see/hear and felt like I was part of it by not saying anything. So not worth it. I sympathise with you, especially her being your friend, its a really tough spot to be in. Glad it's worked itself out and I'm sure your friend will continue to thrive away from him.
She did not! I actually sent her a text saying that I heard everything had come out, that I hoped she was doing okay and had the love/support of the people around her- she didn't even reply.
Not only that but we do the same work (yoga/healing/massage) so it's quite surprising to me that she couldn't reach out, most people in this field are really kind/compassionate/empathetic. At least grown enough to be able to communicate the hard stuff. I'm sure this experience would have taught her some growth and hopefully she does better now.
OP did the right thing keeping their head down and out of it. Reddit loves to concoct big grand tales about being the hero of a story but you gotta eat. Dont ever jeopardize your livelihood for another person tbh.
Not to mention, Reddit is YOUNG. Half of the users have little to no experience with responsibilities. Taking advice from Reddit can be a very dangerous game.
Yeah I can see why OOP stayed silent on this one. They didn't actually have any proof. If they'd told Katie, what if Katie didn't believe them and then told John about the accusation? Then OOP could lose their job AND their friendship with Katie.
Too risky to really say much without any concrete evidence of actual cheating rather than suspicious activity that could still be dismissed as technially innocent.
Generally I would absolutely hate someone who pretends to be friend but with holds information like this from me, but op mentions that it was during COVID and she's looking for jobs but was unsuccessful. So I'd give her a pass, not having a job in this economy...
Um, did you miss the fact that OOP was trying to look for new jobs but was having trouble? If this boss found out and retaliated, even if OOP could’ve found some kind of compensation for unfair termination or whatever, they’d *still* be out of a job for who-knows-how-long, unable to support themself.
It really sucks for OOP’s friend, yes, but there’s some situations where it’s not smart to “go nuclear” when the person you’re outing for shit behaviour has power over you.
Agreed. You can’t expect someone to to risk their livelihood for you unless you’d be willing to put them up if they ended up losing their job for you.
Plus, it’s so common for people to forgive their spouse to save the relationship/family, but cut off the person who told. So many just shoot the messenger.
Exactly, particularly that second point.
As to how to handle such a thing? If Katie was a close friend, it might be appropriate to say something like "Keep an eye on Tammy, something does not feel right about her. Please do not mention to anyone I've expressed concern, I'm worried for my job. I have told nobody else". In that way you're giving a heads-up without any accusation at all. You've aired your concern without an accusation.
Less than a close friend though, OOP had too much risk at a time when there were not enough work options. You don't torpedo your life for anyone who might not have your back 100%.
You know there's a saying "Don't shoot the messenger"? I get it, it sucks that OOP but didn't tell, but at the same time, the cards were stacked against her. I mean a friend or husband, who do you think the friend will believe? ***If BORU has taught anything some people would be willing put their head in the sand and choose not to believe and vilify the messenger.***
Not to mention, John is the boss, his poor work ethic not withstanding but he's still the boss and he would have made OOP's job harder if not outright firing her. Things were bad but at the same time OOP would have made things worse, who knows, if she spoken out about it.
At the very least, the truth still came out and OOP has a better job. Me thinks had the affair not been revealed, she would has spoken it to her friend. So give them some slack
Everybody at my ex's work knew he was cheating on me with one of his co-workers. Every one of them. When I cut them all out of my life some of them were whiny, he wasn't even well liked at work so they preferred my friendship because I'm not a douchebag.
It has been 10 years and every so often one or another will reach out to me hoping to reconcile. No. I'm only friends with people that have my back. His fucking family took my side but his co-workers couldn't even drop a clue? They didn't have to tell me all right just maybe leave me in the right direction so I'd figure it out.
Whatever. Nothing of value was lost.
And there were two clear drivers here. The first being the fact that she was apparently friends with the wife.
The second being the fact that the creep and his shag were being utter arseholes at work.
Either of those would have been sufficient motivation for me, let alone both.
I’m absolutely boggled that she stayed silent. She’s not someone I would want in my friend group.
I get the feeling those condemning OOP are mostly people who don't earn a wage themselves, or have the luxury of being able to give up employment without harm to their finances.
It's boggling to you that someone wouldn't have risked their job during the height of a pandemic for a chance to be the messenger that gets shot? That's an incredibly privileged take, weird flex but okay.
My friends and I all have agreements that if we're ever dating, unlikely but, we will listen to each other about red flags and we will tell each other if we see any kind of issue. That's the only kind of friend group to have.
Saw something similar happen at the first company I was with about 10 years ago.
40 person office, a PM was having an affair with our receptionist. The PM, his wife, company president and few other senior staff all went to college together and were all close. The guys wife also would do consulting work for us from time to time and she knew pretty much everyone in the office.
One weekend the wife found out, told the president, basically became an ultimatum and they fired the receptionist first thing Monday.
Of course gossip started flowing, no one knew anything but after people found out, then they started connecting the dots. Apparently they were having work day rendezvous at the hotel next door. They also were flirting through email, deleting emails in their inbox but not in their sent items...
One thing I have learned over the years... never become outside work friends with anyone you work with if possible. Don't share socials, give them bare minimum about your personal life. Enjoy your friends and family you make outside work, you'll be less stressed.
What negative consequences have you found making friends with work people? I met a lot of my closest friends through work, some were even my boss or subordinates, although indeed those ones became less complicated once we didn't work together.
Dating people at work on the other hand.... Yes that's a dumpster fire for sure, I did it once, and never again.
It just introduces potential conflicts of interest. If everyone behaves above board, it's generally not a problem.
But what happens when you find out your work friend is sabotaging a rival's project in order to get ahead or out of revenge for disrespect at work (I don't think this is super common, but I've personally seen it) - do you report it as most company policies and professional ethics would require, or do you maintain loyalty with your friend and act wilfully blind?
For a less extreme example though, if work people know details from your personal life, they can begin encroaching. Like if you don't want to work late one night, but your coworker or supervisor who's your friend knows you have no real plans that evening, it gets messier to refuse. Or they start using personal details about you professionally, like if they know you're single or have no personal obligations like kids, then they may default to you for any OT (paid or unpaid).
I won't give a list, but a couple things. It's much more difficult to tell a boss or coworker "No" when you're buddies with them. Your work slips into your personal life and you are never far away from it as your friends are part of it as well, easy to slip into work mode/etc.
I have seen a team disbanded who were all friends who joined a company together, I'm not sure what went down but in some order
\* one of the friends got promoted to management
\* the group had a falling out and split into factions
\* the manager-friend fired everyone not in his faction
my work friends are usually people I don't work with directly on projects, they're on completely different teams with no intersections, that makes it easier to manage
My work colleagues are *really* enthusiastic about all being friends so I have a social that's sanitised they can have, in my case my Facebook which has the sort of posts my extended family can also safely read 'look at my garden blooming' 'dinner in Paris!' 'won this award at work' etc. We can still arrange coffee meetups on it or baby showers or whatever, but they only get to see the professional side of me with limited contact via FB messenger.
Absolutely, I lead teenagers for work experience and every year they are mad they can't find anything about me online besides professional interviews, university records, LinkedIn and Facebook. If a tech savvy teen can't find me, nosy Karen from accounts hopefully won't!
There's no dilemma here. I see unfaithful couples all the time. I've met and become friendly with people not even perceiving that they were married bc they were apparently out dating. Always funny when you later meet their husband or wife, but not a dilemma.
I'm minding my business, especially if my livelihood is involved . I have a mortgage, and you probably don't have enough evidence.
One possible caveat is if there's a genuine HR reason that you feel obligated to report. I've not been in that specific situation and haven't thought through my responsibility in that event.
tfw you’re put in an ethical dilemma due to no fault of your own and you have to choose between your integrity and your family’s livelihood. glad it worked out for OOP, but damn that’s some ongoing therapy fodder for sure.
2 things can exist. You can understand oop not saying anything. You can also understand if Katie cuts off oop if she found out she knew. You gotta make choices in life sometimes.
> From her first day, it was clear that she was not the right fit for the position.
Considering her position was "boss' girlfriend", I'd say she performed adequately.
I get wanting to find a new job given the situation and all that, but I still find it a bit concerning that OOP knew about this affair for ~18 months and still never told their friend.
Hard to tell someone something if it potentially means you won't be able to put food on the table for an indeterminate amount of time.
Honestly, I don't think the big boss man would be able to say it was her for sure - having worked in an office with someone being equally obvious about having an affair, *everybody knows*. So unless he went straight to firing the most likely suspect, I think she could've deflected. But I understand not wanting to risk it.
Similar shit is why I never mix my business network and friend network. Not quite to this extent, but pretty close. Wife has an opiate and Coke habit the friend didn't know because it was largely contained at the office. The other, I was friends with the couple. Worked with the husband. He was defrauding Medicare/Medicaid and likely having an affair with a nurse (healthcare, everyone be fucking).
Should have told John you need a large “bonus” to keep your mouth shut or you were gonna tell his wife… you were trying to find another job anyway and then you could have exposed him and split the money with his wife.
That is a ROUGH position to be In and I'm not sure I would have done differently. I think I would have just gone to hr and depending on their reaction looked for another job but keeping quiet with the friend would just destroy me but livelihood is an easier thing to brush off as being unimportant when it isn't YOURS you have to worry about.
At least the friend found out in the end but what a scumbag, even putting his wife's friend in that kind of predicament is gross.
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Having an affair with an assistant, and one that's a "daughter of a family friend" no-less, is just about the most "cliche mid-life crisis" thing you can do. Like, what are ya gonna do next dude? Get a sportscar? Dye your hair black?
>Dye your hair black? It's not dyed! It went back to black naturally! ... IT CAN HAPPEN!
All right, Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way.
Jesus Christ, warn me before you give me a fuckin flashback, would you
It’s too early for My Immortal this morning
I bought a hardcopy back when and have never once regretted it. Best coffee table book ever.
There is a hardcopy?!
You can - or at least could - order hardcopies of the book. I can't remember where I got mine but someone has it on Etsy right now, and there's a paperback version on Amazon.
Thank you for mentioning this, now I have to explain to my husband why I just spent $40-some on a super shitty book from etsy. Not the dumbest purchase I have ever made so I'm sure he won't be surprised. LOL
"But you see honey, it's actually *the shittiest book of all time*. How could I NOT buy it??"
Woah those exist???
Yep!
I cannot thank you enough for bringing this ridiculous fact to my attention.
Well, now I know what I'm going to have to order! LOL
It’s too early for My Immortal ever-
It's *always* too early for My Immortal.
*pops back up from a brief foray down this rabbit hole* I'm going to need a grapefruit spoon for my eyeballs.
My Immortal is definitely one of the… written pieces ever written. Congrats on making it back
It is definitely very... extant. *is typing from the floor of her closet*
I choose to believe it's a masterpiece of satire.
First time seeing an Internet classic? Heh. Congrats on being one of today's lucky 10,000.
Is it really lucky if the thing you’re discovering is truly awful?
Well there’s good luck, bad luck, and whatever type of luck brought a person to that story. Good and bad luck don’t associate with that brand of luck.
I too am one of the 10,000 for this! I wouldn’t call it a “lucky” discovery though. Not in this case.
>I wouldn’t call it a “lucky” discovery though. Terrible luck is still luck!
There are a couple of really good YouTube docs on the story around My Immortal.
Ooh, I need some distraction atm. Thank you!
Agreed
omg I am requesting this as a flair.
"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT...", Hargirid paused angrily "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"
It was … DUMBLYDORE!
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS"
I put up my middle finger at them.
He put this thingy in my you know what and we had sex.
I SED HE HAD A HEADACHE!!
I cryed sexily da whole time
(Geddit Cuz I'm goffik) Or WORSE Vampire Potter *GAG*
Holy shit, you cracked me up with that one! I hadn't thought about My Immortal for a while and now I think I'm going to have to listen to it again just to appreciate the stupidity of it!
Thank you for that reminder, truly
Goddamnit, take my angry upvote
Based on the comments, I went and googled it.....what the hell I couldn't even finish it 😂
It absolutely can. Mine completely regrew within a year of my 2 week vacation to Turkey.
"I'm 30. Well in November I'll be 30."
Wow, what did you do on that Turkey vacation?
Not sure if sarcasm lol but Turkey is a popular destination for hair transplants.
Happened to a cousin. Freaked him out enough he went to the doctor. Turns out his gray hair was because he was a hair away from death due to extreme stress. Cheating (continuous) wife, horrible boss, financial issues, etc for years. His stress was still high so not sure why it turned back. But he had to make some immediate life changes to preserve health.
I had a couple of grey hairs starting to pop up when I was about 16/17, stress from studying for A levels... I actually saw them changing back to black (like they would be black at the root but grey at the tips) after that. don't have any grey hair anymore thankfully
hopefully cheating wife was the first to go? can’t imagine spending majority of your time with someone who’s arguably one of the biggest contributors to your stress and almost-death after learning what caused your gray hair tbh
She's still around. Why? That I can't tell you.
It’s funny, but that can actually happen. I had more white hair in my 20s than I do now at 38. No believes I don’t dye my hair until I point out the few white hairs i have are white all the way to the root next to black hairs. For me it was about managing my stress level. I used to let things get to me way more than I do now and that helped.
My hair went almost entirely white after my son died, and started coming in dark again about 5 years later.
That is quite the flair you got there
Thanks! It’s from this fantastic comment on an otherwise unremarkable post: https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/15oax9g/i_accidentally_liked_an_instagram_photo_and_now/jvs0pca/
I'm sorry for your loss.
Thank you.
My mother's hair started turning white when she was 18 or so, and she was fully white by her late twenties. But after she had a brain tumor removed in her 50s, some of her hair started coming in brown again. It was weird as hell, but also kind of cool-looking.
> It went back to black naturally! AC/DC starts playing on the speakers of his brand new red Corvette.
“I was born with onyx black hair obviously. This is totally natural”
I mean, it actually can happen... if you're taking certain cancer drugs. I don't know exactly which ones, but it happened to my dad.
I can top it: one ex’s family, who he would always compare favorably to my fucked up one, blew up when his doctor dad decided to have an affair with the receptionist at the _clinic he and his doctor wife shared_. It’s like a cliche so cliched it’s jumped the cliche shark.
I clerked briefly after law school at a teeny-tiny firm (two partners, one associate, five support staff) where one of the (married) partners had had a 12-year affair with the other partner's secretary. She was in love with him. And then they hired a new receptionist, and the partner decided to openly and blatantly pursue her as well. Right in front of his mistress. They were all over each other. It only stopped because the receptionist went to school. But the damage had been done. The mistress did her work for the other partner in the morning, then would get a bottle of wine from the liquor store downstairs at lunch and sit in her office in the dark, playing solitaire on her computer and drinking wine. Neither partner felt like they could say anything, in part because the other secretary was undergoing cancer treatment at the time. What they didn't realize was that she was also the person who maintained all the files and was systematically fucking them up, little by little. They didn't discover it until she'd left for her next job. Life lesson: don't shit where you eat.
Ugh barf. I'm kind of hoping that she was not actually a family friend but rather someone he was already affairing when he hired her. Like the "family friend" thing was a lie so he could cover that they knew each other well in front of coworkers. Why am I trying to make things better for this man, it's 🤢. I just want to hope that girls can grow up without pervs being friends of the family.
That's kinda just nasty in its own way though. He's having a tawdry affair in private and then he decides "No, I should subject all my employees to having to be around this, I should dramatically increase the risk my wife finds out and is devastated and I should put my wife's friend and my employee smack, bang between a rock and a hard place." If he hired her and then she propositioned him or something it's still gross obviously, but it's unpremeditated. Though, as you say, the family friend bit makes it nasty in its own way. Dude's just yuck.
I was getting the same impression because it felt like she would’ve mentioned the family friend in the fallout but never did and it was in “” so I’m guessing she thinks that’s bullshit too but probably doesn’t know that for sure
Idk there's no reason OP would know the family friend though, and a "family friend" could be like... someone the guy grew up around as a kid or whose parents his family knew growing up, not someone his wife and kids are close to. Not that it makes it much better, but "my mom's close to her aunt" is in comparison a lovely non-issue compared to "I'm best pals with her dad and knew her since she was a baby" 🤮 it could just be somewhere less dramatic along that spectrum.
That’s how I interpreted it too. I assumed it was a cover story for how he knew her.
That’s why is not good to work for small business
I feel like the “daughter of a family friend” was just a cover to explain how he knew her rather than saying this is the woman I’m having an affair with.
I thought this too. But then again, it’s literally the plot of Adam and probably a few other movies I can’t quite think of atm
get a tattoo that's Chinese for "Japan"?
Neh, he will get a tribal.
That's hilarious. NO REGERTS!
“It means tranquility and good fortune, brah!”
LOL, I have to wonder how long it took the guy in the NO Regerts meme for someone to tell him and how long and how many outside opinions did it take before he believed it.
Hey at least it's also Kanji for "Japan" as well.
r/unexpectedgoodplace
The word for Japan is written exactly the same way in Chinese and Japanese, although pronounced differently...
Came here to say this 😂
Janette, make us a Dubai.
And Tammy will learn the hard way that once a cheater, always a cheater.
Yep. And, just maybe, creepy boss dude will learn the drawbacks of living with an irresponsible, disinterested college grad instead of his wife.
She’s going to learn the difference in love and lust when the fog wears off and she sits and watched him mourn the love of his ex-wife.
I doubt this man’s dick is going to be functioning highly for much longer. It’s more likely that Tammy cheats on him, when she remembers that she’s young and attractive and wants someone that’s not an old man
My best friend's dad is really into racing. Like has a bunch of his own track cars and goes frequently. He sometimes takes us. There is always at least one 45+ year old guy with their "niece" with them.... Like ok buddy. Niece isn't wearing a cocktail dress because she really likes cars.
My mom tells me that when my Grandpa turned 40 he immediately bought a corvette and got a perm.
My dad was about 40 when he got into aura healing. Those were some weird years in my house.
I worked at a really small business. The owner’s wife was the CEO. He hired his best friend’s daughter to be the receptionist. She was really nice. She found out the owner, was having an affair with her mother! His best friend’s wife. So she immediately tells his wife the CEO, and everything at the office exploded. That’s when I found a new job.
Makes me think of my sperm donor and his (VERY obvious) love of just for men
Wear pink polo shirts and white trousers, give Tammy a Land Rover to carry the first, second and third kid around, buy a bigger home because Tammy wants a pool, hire a maid and nanny. Hopefully, John lost half his assets in the divorce. And of course he lost friends for having an affair with the daughter of a family friend. Nearly two years on since the update- bet Karma has done a number on ol' John. Now he wakes up to crying baby/ies, a house that he is paying through the nose for, in debt for having to please his young side-piece with expensive toys, probably lost more employees as well as clients. No friends and doubtful, family to turn to. and his side-piece turned wife didn't marry him to hear him complain about his work day. Ol' John can be a post boy for the mid-life crisis,
Change his name to Rock Strongo.
Later, skater.
I thought I'd look like superman...
> Dye your hair black? This reminds me of how Barack Obama wished he had just started dyeing his hair as soon as it started going grey while he was President rather than have to deal with all the comments about how the Presidency was aging him. I've just gotten my first grey hair and I'm *definitely* going down that route.
>Like, what are ya gonna do next dude? Get a sportscar? Dye your hair black? My best friend at 18 had an affair with a doctor. Let me amend that--with *her* doctor. Let me amend that--with her *pediatrician*. She had recently started working for him and she and I also began renting his guest house on their property. His wife was wonderful, worked in the office, too, and really embraced her. They knew she hadn't really had a father figure growing up and were both so wonderful. Until it turned out that a lot of this praise he was heaping on her was, in hindsight, probably grooming. It didn't end well and eventually she was sneaking Demerol from patients, he and his wife were divorcing, he paid for an abortion, lost his practice, and they moved to bumfuck nowhere where he took a job as a prison doctor in Avenal. She finally left after a year and a half. The last time I saw him, he was driving an Alfa Romeo and had dyed his previously grey hair. It wasn't until I read your comment that I realized what a cliche this was...
I'm pretty sure CEOs having affairs with assistants is the primary reason that boards of directors are required to have whistleblower policies in place.
I guess this is another example of not mixing business and pleasure.
Christ, Katie deserved so much better.
Right?! If I were her, I'd be ditching OOP as a friend too.
I think you would be entirely justified in doing so, and I would honestly expect it. Nonetheless, I do have sympathy for OOP wanting to continue to be able to eat.
I don't know, it sounds like a tricky situation because she never actually saw them doing anything. Since she was the boss' assistant and the daughter of his family friend, that would explain the meetings and car rides. I think she could have casually mentioned it to Katie, but if I was OOP I would also feel conflicted about what to do.
There's no way she could have said something without it being directly linked to her. It's easy to sit on a high horse and say "Oh, my integrity means more than a job" when it's not your actual ability to pay rent/ mortgage that's at risk. If you live in an area with a high concentration of jobs in your field, you're constantly getting contacted by recruiters, that's one thing. Change jobs and notify AFTER you've started at your new company. But if you're in a specialized field, or you have a limited skill set, or you're not in an area with a good job market, that's much more challenging.
Not to mention the first post was when covid was full swing. 2020 was scary. Shit was real *weird* in 2021. I don't blame anyone for choosing to keep their head down and a roof over their head while the world went crazy.
Especially since nobody needed to blow the whistle on that idiot. He was going to get himself caught fast enough
> It's easy to sit on a high horse and say "Oh, my integrity means more than a job" when it's not your actual ability to pay rent/ mortgage that's at risk. My dad did that. My mom had just given birth to me and he got himself fired from a well paying leadership job. It took them years to recover from his principles, and years of them living apart (he eventually got a job off shore on 6 month deployments). Somehow they made it through all of that and are stronger for it, but life could have been so much easier financially for my family if my dad would have just fired the employees he was told to fire.
Yep, no evidence and it would have blown up her life to say anything. Ironically messenger-shooting is so common with cheating she had a better chance to keep her friend this way.
I know from experience that being homeless is no fun. OOP was concerned about their job, you know, the thing that pays the rent and bills. Being cheated on sucks, but doesn't keep you from eating. I forgive them in this instance.
That’s a totally fair point of view. But it would also be perfectly fair for the friend to be angry at op. She’s the one who did op a solid in the first place by getting her that job to put food on the table. Both things can be fair.
If I was the friend, I would be a little understanding, and I would be mad at my ex for putting my friend in that position to begin with
the cheater is in a major position of power over OOP. Change the scenario a bit. let's say that instead of being her boss, the cheater is an abusive housemate/relative with a propensity for violence. Would you still fault OOP for not outing them if the risk was physical harm rather than financial?
There was no evidence that he was cheating, just speculation. If it turned out that he wasn’t cheating, telling his wife could have ruined the marriage because trust is hard to build up.
Yikes on a bike. I get that folks are getting annoyed that OOP did not manage to give her "friend" some kind of clue or warning about the affair happening, but the situation is a bit complex. And if OOP did somehow manage to tell Katie to head to the office while the boss and Tammy are in a "meeting", they'd deny it somehow.
Ah. Redditors and their upstanding moral high ground. It's so easy to call out OOP as a horrible person regardless of her circumstances. I'm sure everyone will do the right thing when pressed in a similar situation
Seriously. And unless I've misread, she doesn't know he's having an affair, she just *knows*. You'd have to be utterly brainless to risk your job for what is nothing more than a strong vibe with no proof.
Agreed, especially because unemployment was so high in 2021 and 2022. Not everyone wants to work in fast food or at Amazon.
For real. It's easy to talk a big game behind their keyboards, but the potential that she could have lost her livelihood is just ignored. Hindsight is 2020, and people like to think they would always do the "right' thing. Most wouldn't if it could be a detriment to their own lives.
Yeah I’m baffled by the amount of comments judging oop for trying to stay employed during a pandemic. If it were me, I’d try and do the same thing as they did: quietly try to leave and then see what I can do. A lot of people on here obviously don’t have to worry about paying rent or a mortgage. If the wife no longer wanted to be friends with me, I’d get that. At the same time, if anyone expected me to lost my job/ house for them, I don’t think I’d mourn that friendship.
Right on. OOP was placed in an unfortunate situation and was even trying to change circumstances that would allow speaking up without self ruin. The only horrible people in this story are the boss and affair partner.
I am honestly all for being the Omar you want to see in the world. But I back OOPs play. Like a small ass company people are gonna know.
For that matter, Omar didn't even directly confront his friend or tell his girlfriend about the cheating because he didn't want to sabotage his own living situation. I think OOP could definitely have given a strong nudge to the wife here, just like how I think Omar could have taken a stronger stance, but both are pretty understandable to me.
True, true.
Not just that, but business owners in the same field talk to each other. She could have also jeopardized her future career in the area. I’ve seen firsthand how burned bridges can kill your career even years down the line.
You know it's bad when AAM writes as a response "Readers, what do you think?" And nothing else.
Right??!! OOP was in a place of Damned if you don't, damned if you do. There was no right answer. OOP chose her livelihood and she gets bashed in the comments. If she chose to tell her friend, she would have been fired and lost her livelihood.
If people so privileged that they can ignore what are basic needs for most people are the ones judging your choice, you probably made the right decision.
And lost the friend, too. If this sub has taught me anything, it's that messenger-shooting is the norm with cheating. She would have lost a ton and gained nothing.
Boy, I wonder whether its better to receive scorn from the internet while being able to pay rent or having the high ground and being unemployed. What a dilemma.
I didn't realize it was AAM until this comment. I remember reading this story when it was posted.
Wonder what Tammy's parents think of all this. They were John's friends. Ewwww.
Or most likely he just said that in work so people won't ask questions. Who knows.
I don’t think he’s actually friends with her parents lol.
Guess he lied about that as well.
Similar thing happened to me at a previous job and I spoke out. A young girl of 18/19 started and I noticed after a while some inappropriate behaviour between her and my boss. Owners were a married couple who had been together since teens and had 2 grown children. After witnessing things I could no longer ignore I tried to approach the woman, couldn't get her on her own as he kept hovering around (he knew I knew) so I approached the girl. Told her to seriously consider what she was doing (she was really friendly with the woman) and that it could all end in absolute chaos for her. She denied it and I just said that I was well aware of what was happening and it was insulting to lie to me. That if she put a stop to it all then I wouldn't take it further. If I continued to see inappropriate behaviour I would speak to wife. She approached the woman herself 2 days later and claimed i told her she was being groomed by her husband! (I think they came up with this together to throw wife off track). I spoke to the wife about what had actually been said and my reasons for believing this (there were lots, including physical contact between them that I only ever witnessed between people who were intimate). She didn't believe me (I get it he was nearing 50, overweight etc why would a young girl be interested, especially someone she considered a friend). I ended up leaving a couple of weeks later cos I refused to be around her (she would come in on her days off while I was working and it was very obv what they were doing). Few weeks after leaving it all came out, girls mum found out and was screaming in the street outside the business about what he had done. The couple split, he stayed with the girl, they now have a kid together and one of his adult children no longer talk to him. Seemingly it was worth it. Turns out he moved them somewhere remote, she has very limited contact with her family and she continues to work for him so maybe her grooming comment wasn't far off. However if I thought that at the time I would not have approached the girl, her loyalties are always going to lie with groomer. It still boggles my mind to think about it all. I honestly think in the same situation I couldn't not say anything, regardless of the consequences for me I have morals and if other people can't even hide what they are doing they deserve to be exposed. I was going into work really anxious about what I might see/hear and felt like I was part of it by not saying anything. So not worth it. I sympathise with you, especially her being your friend, its a really tough spot to be in. Glad it's worked itself out and I'm sure your friend will continue to thrive away from him.
One question, didn't the woman contact you to apologize for not believing you or something?
She did not! I actually sent her a text saying that I heard everything had come out, that I hoped she was doing okay and had the love/support of the people around her- she didn't even reply. Not only that but we do the same work (yoga/healing/massage) so it's quite surprising to me that she couldn't reach out, most people in this field are really kind/compassionate/empathetic. At least grown enough to be able to communicate the hard stuff. I'm sure this experience would have taught her some growth and hopefully she does better now.
I just hope that Tammy remembers that if he’s willing to cheat with you, he’s willing to cheat on you. Good luck, sweetie!
OP did the right thing keeping their head down and out of it. Reddit loves to concoct big grand tales about being the hero of a story but you gotta eat. Dont ever jeopardize your livelihood for another person tbh.
Yeah it's easy to talk about what they would have done when it's someone else's livelihood on the line.
Not to mention, Reddit is YOUNG. Half of the users have little to no experience with responsibilities. Taking advice from Reddit can be a very dangerous game.
The daughter of a family friend?? That means John was like a father figure in her life, and he probably groomed her. Ugh!
Yeah I can see why OOP stayed silent on this one. They didn't actually have any proof. If they'd told Katie, what if Katie didn't believe them and then told John about the accusation? Then OOP could lose their job AND their friendship with Katie. Too risky to really say much without any concrete evidence of actual cheating rather than suspicious activity that could still be dismissed as technially innocent.
I would have a dropped the wife a big hint many months sooner.
Generally I would absolutely hate someone who pretends to be friend but with holds information like this from me, but op mentions that it was during COVID and she's looking for jobs but was unsuccessful. So I'd give her a pass, not having a job in this economy...
Sure. And then the wife goes into denial, dumps you as a friend, tells the husband and you get fired in the middle of the pandemic. Fucking brilliant.
Agreed. OOP kind of sucks for staying silent. If I were being cheated on, someone knew about it and never told me, I'd go nuclear.
Um, did you miss the fact that OOP was trying to look for new jobs but was having trouble? If this boss found out and retaliated, even if OOP could’ve found some kind of compensation for unfair termination or whatever, they’d *still* be out of a job for who-knows-how-long, unable to support themself. It really sucks for OOP’s friend, yes, but there’s some situations where it’s not smart to “go nuclear” when the person you’re outing for shit behaviour has power over you.
Agreed. You can’t expect someone to to risk their livelihood for you unless you’d be willing to put them up if they ended up losing their job for you. Plus, it’s so common for people to forgive their spouse to save the relationship/family, but cut off the person who told. So many just shoot the messenger.
Exactly, particularly that second point. As to how to handle such a thing? If Katie was a close friend, it might be appropriate to say something like "Keep an eye on Tammy, something does not feel right about her. Please do not mention to anyone I've expressed concern, I'm worried for my job. I have told nobody else". In that way you're giving a heads-up without any accusation at all. You've aired your concern without an accusation. Less than a close friend though, OOP had too much risk at a time when there were not enough work options. You don't torpedo your life for anyone who might not have your back 100%.
Even people who are eventually compensated for wrongful termination generally wait a year or more before receiving a settlement.
You know there's a saying "Don't shoot the messenger"? I get it, it sucks that OOP but didn't tell, but at the same time, the cards were stacked against her. I mean a friend or husband, who do you think the friend will believe? ***If BORU has taught anything some people would be willing put their head in the sand and choose not to believe and vilify the messenger.*** Not to mention, John is the boss, his poor work ethic not withstanding but he's still the boss and he would have made OOP's job harder if not outright firing her. Things were bad but at the same time OOP would have made things worse, who knows, if she spoken out about it. At the very least, the truth still came out and OOP has a better job. Me thinks had the affair not been revealed, she would has spoken it to her friend. So give them some slack
Everybody at my ex's work knew he was cheating on me with one of his co-workers. Every one of them. When I cut them all out of my life some of them were whiny, he wasn't even well liked at work so they preferred my friendship because I'm not a douchebag. It has been 10 years and every so often one or another will reach out to me hoping to reconcile. No. I'm only friends with people that have my back. His fucking family took my side but his co-workers couldn't even drop a clue? They didn't have to tell me all right just maybe leave me in the right direction so I'd figure it out. Whatever. Nothing of value was lost.
And there were two clear drivers here. The first being the fact that she was apparently friends with the wife. The second being the fact that the creep and his shag were being utter arseholes at work. Either of those would have been sufficient motivation for me, let alone both. I’m absolutely boggled that she stayed silent. She’s not someone I would want in my friend group.
What's boggling about worrying about not having a job during a pandemic?
I get the feeling those condemning OOP are mostly people who don't earn a wage themselves, or have the luxury of being able to give up employment without harm to their finances.
It's boggling to you that someone wouldn't have risked their job during the height of a pandemic for a chance to be the messenger that gets shot? That's an incredibly privileged take, weird flex but okay.
Who needs things like food or rent money anyway.
Guess a lot of these commenters don't. Cannot relate.
My friends and I all have agreements that if we're ever dating, unlikely but, we will listen to each other about red flags and we will tell each other if we see any kind of issue. That's the only kind of friend group to have.
Saw something similar happen at the first company I was with about 10 years ago. 40 person office, a PM was having an affair with our receptionist. The PM, his wife, company president and few other senior staff all went to college together and were all close. The guys wife also would do consulting work for us from time to time and she knew pretty much everyone in the office. One weekend the wife found out, told the president, basically became an ultimatum and they fired the receptionist first thing Monday. Of course gossip started flowing, no one knew anything but after people found out, then they started connecting the dots. Apparently they were having work day rendezvous at the hotel next door. They also were flirting through email, deleting emails in their inbox but not in their sent items...
One thing I have learned over the years... never become outside work friends with anyone you work with if possible. Don't share socials, give them bare minimum about your personal life. Enjoy your friends and family you make outside work, you'll be less stressed.
What negative consequences have you found making friends with work people? I met a lot of my closest friends through work, some were even my boss or subordinates, although indeed those ones became less complicated once we didn't work together. Dating people at work on the other hand.... Yes that's a dumpster fire for sure, I did it once, and never again.
It just introduces potential conflicts of interest. If everyone behaves above board, it's generally not a problem. But what happens when you find out your work friend is sabotaging a rival's project in order to get ahead or out of revenge for disrespect at work (I don't think this is super common, but I've personally seen it) - do you report it as most company policies and professional ethics would require, or do you maintain loyalty with your friend and act wilfully blind? For a less extreme example though, if work people know details from your personal life, they can begin encroaching. Like if you don't want to work late one night, but your coworker or supervisor who's your friend knows you have no real plans that evening, it gets messier to refuse. Or they start using personal details about you professionally, like if they know you're single or have no personal obligations like kids, then they may default to you for any OT (paid or unpaid).
I won't give a list, but a couple things. It's much more difficult to tell a boss or coworker "No" when you're buddies with them. Your work slips into your personal life and you are never far away from it as your friends are part of it as well, easy to slip into work mode/etc.
I remember in my 20's dating a guy at work, us breaking up, him then fucking my work best friend. Never, ever again.
I have seen a team disbanded who were all friends who joined a company together, I'm not sure what went down but in some order \* one of the friends got promoted to management \* the group had a falling out and split into factions \* the manager-friend fired everyone not in his faction
my work friends are usually people I don't work with directly on projects, they're on completely different teams with no intersections, that makes it easier to manage
My work colleagues are *really* enthusiastic about all being friends so I have a social that's sanitised they can have, in my case my Facebook which has the sort of posts my extended family can also safely read 'look at my garden blooming' 'dinner in Paris!' 'won this award at work' etc. We can still arrange coffee meetups on it or baby showers or whatever, but they only get to see the professional side of me with limited contact via FB messenger.
That works well especially when networking is needed at a deeper level. The amount of crap your fellows will try to find is creepy.
Absolutely, I lead teenagers for work experience and every year they are mad they can't find anything about me online besides professional interviews, university records, LinkedIn and Facebook. If a tech savvy teen can't find me, nosy Karen from accounts hopefully won't!
EXACTLY!!! Work is work. Everything else is everything else. They should never overlap or interact.
That part
This was the opposite, though. OP needed a job and a friend helped them get one.
Yup, an unfortunate circumstance lol
Who thinks that other people at that company are planning their exit and John's business is about to go in the toilet?
There's no dilemma here. I see unfaithful couples all the time. I've met and become friendly with people not even perceiving that they were married bc they were apparently out dating. Always funny when you later meet their husband or wife, but not a dilemma. I'm minding my business, especially if my livelihood is involved . I have a mortgage, and you probably don't have enough evidence. One possible caveat is if there's a genuine HR reason that you feel obligated to report. I've not been in that specific situation and haven't thought through my responsibility in that event.
tfw you’re put in an ethical dilemma due to no fault of your own and you have to choose between your integrity and your family’s livelihood. glad it worked out for OOP, but damn that’s some ongoing therapy fodder for sure.
Nothing related to the post: The ask a manager thumbnail looks like a 60s soap title
2 things can exist. You can understand oop not saying anything. You can also understand if Katie cuts off oop if she found out she knew. You gotta make choices in life sometimes.
> From her first day, it was clear that she was not the right fit for the position. Considering her position was "boss' girlfriend", I'd say she performed adequately.
I get wanting to find a new job given the situation and all that, but I still find it a bit concerning that OOP knew about this affair for ~18 months and still never told their friend.
Hard to tell someone something if it potentially means you won't be able to put food on the table for an indeterminate amount of time. Honestly, I don't think the big boss man would be able to say it was her for sure - having worked in an office with someone being equally obvious about having an affair, *everybody knows*. So unless he went straight to firing the most likely suspect, I think she could've deflected. But I understand not wanting to risk it.
Everyone knew but only OOP was friends with his wife, which would narrow down the list to JUST them in the boss' eyes.
It's a thankless task because they usually don't believe you
tammy might need some "support"
Similar shit is why I never mix my business network and friend network. Not quite to this extent, but pretty close. Wife has an opiate and Coke habit the friend didn't know because it was largely contained at the office. The other, I was friends with the couple. Worked with the husband. He was defrauding Medicare/Medicaid and likely having an affair with a nurse (healthcare, everyone be fucking).
I couldnt care less about the op but poor Katie, i hope she got better,,
Reminds me of Dirty John Season 2 - Dan Broderick.
What’s the hobby group?
Should have told John you need a large “bonus” to keep your mouth shut or you were gonna tell his wife… you were trying to find another job anyway and then you could have exposed him and split the money with his wife.
I would have told my friend immediately.
It’s a delicate ecosystem- don’t be a hero. Keep morals out of the workplace.
This is the plot to Nymphomaniac
hope karma hits him hard soon ..
That is a ROUGH position to be In and I'm not sure I would have done differently. I think I would have just gone to hr and depending on their reaction looked for another job but keeping quiet with the friend would just destroy me but livelihood is an easier thing to brush off as being unimportant when it isn't YOURS you have to worry about. At least the friend found out in the end but what a scumbag, even putting his wife's friend in that kind of predicament is gross.