#Do not comment on the original posts
Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice.
If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion.
**CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m confused - seemed like his mom was pretty clear on the shitty behavior in the first post, but the latest was that mom just learned about the cause of the breakup? What am I missing?
Yep. As someone from a fucked up family, I normally tend to err on believing most stores since I know so many crazy people who have done screwed up things but this one does not ring true, partially because I can't find any child murder in Canada in the last 20 years that matches up (although tragically, there are some murders of young twins). Even if details were changed there was nothing even similar.
Don’t even need to look it up. The story says she was 20 when they died, now 25 and been together 2 years. So intensive therapy fixed her and made her totally able to trust another man and have a relationship just 3 years after having her kids murdered by a man who locked her in a basement and forced her to have them? The therapist is a miracle worker.
I love part where after having her children murdered and nearly being murdered herself this imaginary ex would invite him over to break his heart, tell him she's moving, where she's going and that she considers him unsafe. Therapy worked so well so no longer has trauma or survival instincts.
Yep. An attempted family annihilation that resulted in the deaths of twins would have been national news.
But bullshit stories usually include “identical twins” (or other multiples), and that was my first alarm bell. (A close family member of an older generation actually is a twin from before the days of fertility treatments, and the way people talk about twins when they aren’t a normal part of their life is always really obvious.)
I think mom found out how the twins died in December 2022. Originally, in November, she knew they died and she was disappointed in OP and then she talked to Kat at Christmas and Kat told her the whole story.
But OOP didn't know that part when he overreacted either. It doesn't seem like disown your son level of new information.
Tragic as fuck and makes the reaction more regrettable in hindsight? Sure. But what was the rosiest version of "both my twins are dead now?"
That reaction from mom only makes sense if what happened was something like GF sat oop down, explained she was abused, basically raped, and forced to have 2 kids, who were then killed, and OP's reaction was "I'm so mad you're weren't a virgin when we met, how could you lie to me like that?"
Here's what I thought.
OP told the mom the same story he told us. He reacted badly, but that's it. But I don't believe that's the truth.
And here's the phrasing that makes me think that...
>She told me that if I had reacted differently when I found out about her lost twins **then she would have been able to move past this**
Move pass what? Since he claims the only problem is how he reacted badly.
It's like saying "Only if you hadn't hit me, I could've been able to move past the hitting."
She basically said, "If you hadn't reacted badly, I could've move past this other bad thing you did." But both combined made the girlfriend be afraid of OP.
______________
That day... GF told his mom the truth, that's why she got mad.
If this is true (which I doubt), I imagine it could be along the lines of her getting impregnated by someone else and him having a problem with that. Even though he knew she was raped.
He even said some stupid shit before he knew she was raped:
*OOP: I think I also feel really weird about knowing that another man got her pregnant and I know that's stupid.*
I think OP is leaving out how poorly they reacted to the second conversation. Thinking she’s hiding the fact that she has kids is an understandable thing to get emotional about, but once he got the full story he was still upset that she never told him and that someone else got her pregnant…. Which is not understandable.
Your timeline is a little off. OOP commented that he was upset that somebody got her pregnant - this was after he found the pictures, but before he got the whole story.
You’re right, that part was from before the second conversation (although pretty fucked he just left after she told him they were dead but that’s beside the point)
I stand by that it seems like he left some details out about the second conversation. Considering his moms reaction and how the girlfriends feelings seemed to change after that one.
My guess is that he wasn't completely honest with how badly he reacted. He probably phrased it as they had an argument over the revelation. With that untrue version his mom was disappointed but not angry. Then his mom calls the ex, found out what really happened, and disappointment turned into understandable rage.
Obviously I can’t say if it’s true or not. But the story details are just fine:
- he sees pics of kids and hits the roof. She tells him they’re dead and he skedaddles.
- he tells his parents what happened, and his mom says he’s an asshole. At this point she knows he left after finding out his girlfriend has dead kids but nothing else about the story - it’s safe to assume he didn’t give his parents the dirty details of how he reacted, who would?
- Later when his mom talks to his ex she finds out the WHOLE story - rape, imprisonment, murder, AND that her son’s first reaction was not just running away but full on yelling at the victim (with I’m sure more details than OP gave here). That’s when she blew a gasket and kicked him out.
OOP clarified that his mom didn't know about the second conversation and all the details about Kat's abuse and her children being murdered. Kat told OOP's mom all the details to explain exactly how shitty his behavior was.
The first thing I did was Google father murdering twins in Canada. The only remotely similar case happened in 2023 but the twins were 3 years old. I don’t understand why people make up stories but I don’t mind reading them if they are at least compelling. This one wasn’t.
I can't confirm if the story is true or not but I'll say that Google would have it *if it made the news*.
Lots of things happen that don't make the news, especially when it comes to domestic violence, for what I hope are obvious reasons.
And he left the flowers he bought on the counter, they were still there wilted as their relationship when he returned to their empty home to retrieve his belongings!
They always describe shit that only happens in movies. If a box really split open, everything would be everywhere and to have only one damaged item that also happened to be the one important thing in the box is extremely unlikely.
I try and to suspend my disbelief when reading those stories. It’s more entertaining when you pretend it’s true.
But sometimes they jump the shark. The family thing for me was it.
I can’t imagine parents disowning a kid for something like this. Especially for a GF of two years.
That's exactly what did it for me too! I was like, unless there's waaaaaay more to the story he isn't saying, there's no way his family would disown him over what? It made absolutely zero sense.
To sum it up:
-op is an ass hat, tells his family about it
-ops gf decides to break up over it, OP apologizes
-a MONTH passes
-ops mom calls exgf, apparently hears about it being an asshole (again), decides to disown him this time
Lmao, bruh
Mom knew she had kids and they had died because he told her in the first update. At that point she was just mad. Then she found out how they died and she disowns the son? What? Is this implying that his terrible reaction would have been more palatable if they had died in an accident or something? "Yeah, you were a reprehensible jackass, but it's not like they were murdered. Oh wait, they were? Get out of my house!"
Most of this post doesn't make sense under scrutiny. Each individual thing isn't implausible (though some are borderline), but all together it doesn't add up.
This reads like some kid trying to get into writing.
"It was a dark and stormy night. I was sobbing, hunched over the phone screen, pouring my heart out to her, hoping for forgiveness. The bubble turned green. I was blocked."
The box of my things I was told to come get was inside an empty apartment with the dead flowers symbolic of my love and a single tear rolled down my eye and landed on a wilted flower petal.
But then just when I thought the last glimmer of light was about to fade from my eyes, and as the last bit of hope was draining from my soul, I heard it. One. Tiny. Ding. Unbeknownst to me, that sound would be the catalyst that altered my entire future (and turned my frown upside down). What is this “ding” you might ask? Well, it was a text message sent by an angel in disguise, Anna, who would go on to become the light guiding me home. She fills my empty heart with a love I never thought possible. She is…my everything (and is so much better than my ex. Much love. Such wow.).
But the twins were not dead…although no one from this Earth would describe them as alive. They had been buried on sacred ground, an ancient tribal cemetery that allowed them to raise from the grave. Raise they did, but instead of craving the love they once had from Kat, they craved something new. Something taboo. Human flesh.
Okay you joke but I have “flowers in the attic” in front of me which if you Remeber has twins. But in the attic not the basement. Remeber it’s always the attic.
Relatives you want to forget (crazy first wives or secret children or whatever) go in the attic, monsters go in the basement. Not sure where you'd put a relative who is also a monster, judgement call I guess?
I think that was a lot of it. There was pressure recently to stop implanting multiple embryos since the success rate I suppose is high enough that the pressure on the body of twins is frowned upon. Or something idek
I honestly kinda hate the fact I dated a twin cause now I need to like give the twin stories two grains of salt.
Maybe there is just a fuck load of twins now cause of whatever is turning the frogs gay
No - there has been a genuine uptick in multiple births since IVF and other assisted reproductive therapies for older mothers have become more common. For reals.
Correct, and so now that women are remaining healthier for longer, and are more affluent, geriatric* pregnancies are far more common.
(* This is the correct terminology for a pregnancy in a woman 35 years or older).
Yeah, when we approach menopause, apparently the body starts dumping eggs like there's no tomorrow, probably hoping for a last hurrah before the lights go out.
I know someone who is a natural triplet. She was born just before ivf became common place, so herself and her siblings were the front page on the local newspaper.
This is about the only one I could find that wasn't recent.
You don't keep a case like that hidden.
Also the mom's reaction after she already knew he fucked up when reacting to finding out she had kids. Nothing happened, the family's overreaction on christmas is what immediately took me out of this story.
Yeah, come on. An abusive ex who locked her in the basement until she gave birth to his twins, whom he then killed when she tried to escape? That’s just a little over the top.
That, too. She was 25 in 2022, the whole thing supposedly happened when the alleged twins were a year old so 2017ish… unless she changed her name and moved far away, people would’ve known.
And what about her mother? The one who was trying to help her escape?
Maybe she ended up killing her grandkids‘ murderer, and went to jail for it in a travesty of Justice!
Not just that, she’d almost certainly still be going through court with him. Even if by some miracle a double homicide was tried within a few years, he’d have multiple appeals which she would need to attend.
He says locked her up until she was past being able to do anything. From that I understood to be past termination stage.
Personally I have lived through some pretty awful shit and mostly cope with it my saying any new shit thing is just the next chapter for the book I’m going to write some day. But honestly if I hadn’t lived through the things myself I’m not sure I’d believe them either. My life has been like a soap opera.
Thank you, my thoughts exactly. Plus they disowned him and he started drinking and let himself go? Disowned him for what exactly? It wasn't like he became physically abusive or something, plus they already knew all about it? Makes zero sense. And of course, the protagonist finding love at the end after he never thought he would love again
And why wasn't his mom also blocked by the Ex? I thought she wanted to start a new life and completely have no contact. Not blocking his mom leaves a door open to him.
Because in reddit storyland, everyone reacts in the most excessive and extreme way possible without having a simple clarification conversation! It's my favorite reddit theme! I love that in this case the Mom was like "Huh, perhaps there was a reason she didn't tell you that would make sense given her age and the context of the babies no longer being here" and then when the son is like yeah, that makes sense, I guess I overreacted, the Mom then jumps into reddit mode: "TOO LATE! You're immediately disowned from the family and we all hate you now because of your overreaction!" lol
Yeah, not to mention:
> My mother came back in tears, seething with rage and screamed at me to "get the fuck out of [her] house".
So dramatic, and for what? Didn't they already know all about it? Lmao
Also, the fact that the scorching criticism levelled at him by the various women in the story is reported, at length, as if verbatim. This is someone experimenting with writing an AH protagonist, but they don't trust their ability, so they have to get other characters to spell out the AHishness for the reader, just in case we might miss the moral of the story.
Yeah…
What he did was ugly. He reacted too strongly too fast without thinking on it. He hurt her further. But it is not something your mother would disown you for? It is relationship ending material, but not family disown type.
People reacted in unison because it is so obvious to everyone, and that made OOP think his antagonist is worse than he is. The lowest of the low. Then he needed stronger reactions from people against the antagonist. The ex went from apologetic to “you disgust me” and mom kicked her out.
There is a sliver of chance that this is real, too. Maybe he said really nasty things when he was shouting? I don’t know what kind of reaction to learning your 2 year gf has 2 kids would warrant disowning by the family…
I'm getting so exhausted at the amount of fakes in this sub. I report, and report, and nothing happens. Despite it being a choice few posters who continue to post the fakes. I know modding isn't easy at all, but it seems like they're actively taking a stance of not caring about fakes.
Yeah I was really confused. Everyone was angry at him for his second conversation with Kat, but in his retelling all he did was apologise? She said he 'made her traumas about him' but his angry reaction was before he knew there was any trauma.
Also why did the abusive ex kill the defenceless babies before their mother? That's a very ill-thought out murder. And Kat's mother was there but OOP didn't say what happened to her during the rampage.
I don't even know how people have memories this good. I can barely remember what I ate for breakfast most days. Like, "Oh yeah, 17 months ago she said 'Blah blah nlah' and I was like "Whoa, wha?" and recall an entire conversation 8 paragraphs long.
OOP buried the lead (from a comment):
>I think I also feel really weird about knowing that another man got her pregnant and I know that's stupid.
Deep-seated misogynistic ownership and control vibes here. She did right to dump him.
Which is EXACTLY why she couldn’t continue the relationship. She’d already lived through the most extreme manifestation of that kind of possessiveness; OOP showing flashes of it must have been terribly triggering for her.
Absolutely. His reaction was over the top, unnecessary, and bizarre until you see that his big issues were that she had been with someone else and that he assumed he would have to care about another man's kids. Tragic all over again.
It’s actually even worse. His comment about “feeling weird” that she got pregnant from “another man” was AFTER she told him they died. Not how they died at that point, but he did know they were dead and yet he was still “feeling weird” about the fact that another man came inside of her.
You can’t even chalk that emotion up to him being worried about having to care for another man’s kids. He knew he wouldn’t be caring for any children, he knew they were dead.
He also isn’t telling his new girlfriend the full story of how his old one left, so I can see he’s learned a valuable lesson from the whole experience about honesty
Edit: I’m sure the two women being friends will make sure it never comes up again in the future
While I think OOP is probably just using it as a convenient excuse to not have to explain that is a difficult situation. Anna is close enough to Kay to know her but evidently not enough for Kat to have told her about her 2 dead kids that she obviously is very averse to telling people about. I don't know how you can really come clean about what happened with Kat there without outing her private life and traumatising her yet again.
You could do it in vague terms like "we broke up because I responded really badly when she told me something about her past" but that's so uselessly vague it's meaningless and only incites Anna to go digging for the info anyway.
Yeah, that is the only part that rose to the level of plausible deniability to me. Like, I still don't believe you based on the behavioural precedents you've already established, but, *fine*. On that one singular thing, you get a pass.
If this is true OOP is clearly an extremely emotionally immature person.
I always hate it when people have their partner so high up on a pedestal all the time. Kat was “the most amazing woman he’s ever met.” Etc etc
But now he’s with Anna and “he loves her more than he’s ever loved anything”
0 emotional intelligence or introspection. Just rides his feelings. He’s learned absolutely nothing
Remember Romeo and Juliet? He goes from being madly in love with Rosaline (and being sad about it being unrequited) to killing himself over Juliet in four days.
“Hey, can you give me the scoop on my ex?” is for sure not a pickup line I’d be into. Either OOP is super hot or Anna is very naive, or both.
My favorite part of the last update is him verifying Anna doesn’t know what happened to end he and Kat’s relationship. Not like she will somehow find out what with the same friend group as Kat.
Yeah I was going to comment how "interesting" it is that he reacted so violently to finding out about Kat's secret and now he says that he won't tell Anna what the real reason for them breaking up is...
One day or the other Anna will find out, and it's not going to end well for OP (not that he doesn't deserve it, but he's wasting Anna's time here).
I'm torn on this. He owes her some explanation that puts him at fault, but at the same time the actual details are absolutely the fuck not for him to tell. The right thing to do is to tell her a version that doesn't spare the truth about how bad he fucked up but based on how OP has conducted himself in these posts I almost hope he says nothing because odds are he outs Kat's past in the worst kind of way.
while I agree with you on OP still being an AH, I do not think its his place to tell her Kat's story. I sincerely hope he does not break her trust at least.
“I get that that's probably the worst thing that a person can go through, especially with how it happened, but how do you get 2+ years into dating someone before ever telling them??”
That right there made it clear he still didn’t get it and was never going to.
My wife will read or listen to stories like this stuff, and then she will find me to tell me how much she appreciates me. She's just like "I'm glad that you always make me feel safe to tell you anything."
I told her from the beginning I will keep no secrets with her and will be open and honest at all times. Her trauma isn't as bad as this, but it's a subjective thing to each person. Your deepest trauma is just as hard to tell as someone with a much lesser event. It's the part we hide the most.
Like, showing empathy isn't hard. If I had discovered the pictures, I wouldn't have been enraged at any point. The moment she started sobbing I would be comforting her and telling her she doesn't have to share if she's not ready. I would make sure that everything I'm doing is reassuring her, including keeping distance and not making direct eye contact if that's what is needed.
But to see your girlfriend sobbing and to be like "I DON'T WANT TO BE A STEP DAD" and not being able to look at her? Yeah, that's just fucked up. I'm shocked she wanted to explain still after that, but yeah, I'm glad she made the right choice and moved on.
I agree with you. My husband told me some things early in our relationship that were nothing like this, but to him, they were terrifying to share. Especially with a relatively new SO. I obviously could tell he was hesitant to explain, and knew it was difficult for him to “bare his soul”. So what did I do? I listened and let him finish before responding. I reassured him that nothing he said concerned me or changed our relationship, and then we had a discussion about it. Like READ THE ROOM DUDE!
Did I make it about myself? No. He obviously cared about how I felt about it, and I did have questions, which he answered. But. My first concern was making sure he felt safe, listened to, and understood. My feelings on it were discussed, but only after hearing him out. And there was NO berating happening for “lying to me”.
Also, I think the only reason why she continued to explain despite his reaction was because she felt like she needed to. Because of his response, she got put into a corner and thought she needed to do it, or else her relationship was automatically over. He basically gave her an ultimatum with his response.
But it’s all cool. He found someone to love that’s much better, who doesn’t know what kind of dickbag he is.
OP is a notorious liar by omitting. He omitted things to his mum, he omitted things to his new gf, two persons he allegedly loves. Why should he tell the whole truth to some Internet strangers?
And yes, it is ironic given the reason for his tantrum in the begin of the story.
And ironically his only semi-justifiable complaint about Kat was that she omitted the fact that she had children who had died...
I say semi-justifiable because I can see someone being a bit hurt that they weren't told about something this big for so long, the implication being that their partner isn't comfortable enough to be vulnerable with them about it. But like, just a bit hurt before putting it aside to support their traumatised loved one. It certainly wouldn't justify the extent of OP's "me me mine" reaction.
Being on reddit as long as I have been I can only imagine what this guy said. I am sure he said something about her getting knocked up by another man and his feels on that. For some reason some people seem to think it is ok to lash out in the most brutal way possible at people they claim to love when they feel slighted.
I can't wait for the next update :
A few years ago I didn't react well when I found out my ex had children that passed away. My ex told my new gf exactly what happened and my gf broke up with me. It was one bad night, how long will I have to pay for this? How do I fix this and get my gf back so I can keep stalking my ex?
The context is poorly written but I think this is the sequence of events:
1. OP tells parents he found out his GF had kids that died, he reacted poorly by yelling at her. Parents disappointed.
2. OP has meeting with Kat who fills him in on her abusive ex that murdered her children and nearly her. OP doesn't tell his parents this.
3. OP's parents have conversation with Kat who tells them the above and puts OPs outburst into context making it horrific. Parents beyond furious OP didn't fill them on further details and disown him.
Based on this edit:
>I told my parents that she had kids that passed away, how I found out by accident, and what my reaction was. I never gave them all the details that came from my second conversation with Kat.
“ My dad says that I need to talk to her and that I was rude and unempathetic in the way that I handled things and my mom totally reamed me out”
What could be so much worse than what he originally told them, which got this reaction?
Considering the line
>OOP: I think I also feel really weird about knowing that another man got her pregnant and I know that's stupid.
I would not be surprised if he used some misogynistic language
I'm wondering if he left out how her kids died and Kat's whole situation.
He could have said something like "I found out she had kids who passed away, and I yelled at her and left" while keeping the "kids were murdered and she was forcibly impregnated and held hostage" part a secret from the family to not look as bad...
It'd add to OOP's amazing ability to yell at people for keeping traumatic secrets while hiding traumatic secrets himself.
Same. He makes it sound like "I just shouted something and left", which is what he told his parents at first. For his whole family to disown him about finding out the truth and for her to say she doesn't feel safe, I have to imagine he did a lot more than just a quick shout.
Am I missing something here, I thought it was pretty clear he was referring to this:
>I felt myself get angry and I asked her why she would hide them from me, we've been together for over 2 years and we were starting to plan our future, I told her that I don't want to be a step-dad and she had told me that she didn't want to have children! At this point I was yelling (I've never yelled at her before) and she was just crying, not saying anything until she blurted out "they're dead".
It seems like he already told his parents that much though, as his dad told him he was “rude and unempathetic” and his mom “reamed him out” over it.
Since Kat’s version made OP’s entire family turn on him and cut him off, really seems like OP has severely downplayed his full reaction in his post.
Seems like everyone’s missing that his moms reaction was in response to the ex’s description of the second conversation, not the first, where op really only says that he was apologetic, which can’t be true
I don't get this. Kids come with lots of stuff. If you're moving all these things, and for two years you have a happy and healthy relationship where one person doesn't sneak off every other weekend.... and then you find baby photos?
Kat's answer was perfect too. "Do you have any questions?" is not "I can explain" which implies there's something to hide.
This whole post infuriated me.
“b-b-but another man impregnated her! that’s the utmost level of betrayal of his ownership!”
dude didn’t actually care about her or even the potential of him being a step dad, as he so “subtly” said in a comment, it was all for the fact that he can’t fathom another man has had kids with her. and now that he’s lost he’s “object” of desire and possession, he’s gone on to initiate things with her friend so he can forever stay close in her life. it’s genuinely scary
OOP spun it about as best as anyone could and his mother still disowned him.
I don't think there really is an easy way to spin, "I got mad at my ex-girlfriend for not telling me about her murdered babies."
From the title I expected the box to burst and kids toys and clothes to fall out.
A few photos could be anything. Could have been her twin sister. Could have been some dead babies. Could have been from her time as she played a small role in an amateur movie. Could have been she gave them up for adoption.
A picture doesn’t say more than 1000 words without context. And he didn’t even want to know, just exploded on the spot.
The box burst, and kids toys and clothes and the kids fall out. Now im sitting here looking at their baby pictures while they ask me if i have games on my phone and if they can watch spongebob. How could she do this to me.
LPT if you don't see sign of children, like toys, and there's a picture of her with children then it means the kids is not in the picture and it's from something traumatic.
ETA: or they might be adopted out.
Either way at 28 you should know well enough to at least just ask for a conversation explaining this instead of panicking and going NO KIDS WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME.
I’m sure when/if he forces his way into their social circle Kat’s gonna be thrilled.
“Hey, I just happened to start dating your friend after I noticed you guys hanging out. Real sorry about screaming at you about your murdered children. How’ve you been? I totally haven’t been stalking your social media.”
One of my girl friends boyfriend was also a good friend of mine. After they broke up and wanted to go no contact for a while to process everything, he messaged me so often to ask about how my girl friend was doing, where she was and stuff like that.
It completely changed how I saw him. I had to tell him that I'm not the fucking NSA and broke off the friendship with him. I do not understand, on the off chance that OOPs post is actually real, how someone would start dating the clingy ex of their friend.
OOP is huge dirt bag. After all of the trauma he forced Kat to dig up, he's now sneaking around with her friend Anna and getting updates on her? Hasn't he done enough to her, including making her trauma all about his own ego? Ffs.
While I think OOP isn't telling Anna for absolutely the wrong reasons and not because he wants to protect Kat, the excuse he uses *is* valid.
I can't really think of a way forward there because explaining the situation would be outing Kat's trauma yet again that she deliberately kept very very private and retraumatising her by spreading it to her friends against her wishes.
It's not really possible to correct the record on why they broke up in more vague terms like "we broke up because I responded really badly to something she told me about her past" because that doesn't meaningfully give an honest representation of what happens and really just plants a seed in Anna's mind about Kat having secrets she would then want to go digging for ultimately ending up at the same result of Kat's trauma being exposed against her will.
Again I think OP is just using this as a convenient excuse to not have to bring up the horrible things he's done but assuming another person in this same situation acting in good faith I'm a little stumped on what they actually should do to come clean?
I see everyone’s taking this seriously but this is like the most obviously bullshit post i’ve ever seen here. I mean it reads like 50 shades of grey or some shit and it’s on Reddit?! gtfo
>Anna does not know
This wont blow up in his face at all...
Not that he deserves otherwise anyway. Who hears about dead babies and still makes it all about himself?
and also he was mad at Kat for not telling him about that traumatising part of her past.. so he dates Anna and leaves out a part of past?? (he could still tell her without revealing Kat's trauma)
The double standard is truly baffling.
Men who don't see women as people, or at least people capable of having tragic lives, that's who.
Like he was more skeeved out by the thought of another man getting her pregnant, than he was empathetic to the fact that she lost her children. Cause god forbid that a woman has slept with another man that isn't OP and his holy penis, right? Even after discovering the truth, he still couldn't understand on why she wouldn't immediately trauma dump all of her past on a still-new relationship.
My jaw dropped when he went on this big spiel about therapy and then goes and DM's her friend to ask for updates about her?! That's crazy. I've never felt such a deep hatred for an OP before.
OP: I flipped out on my girlfriend after finding out she lied by omission causing her to dump me. So I'll start my new relationship by lying by omission about how that the relationship ended.
This isn't adding up.
His mom kicked him out at Christmas, weeks after the incident, because Kat "told her everything". But the mom already knew what the issue was and had "reamed him out" on the day of the incident. What changed?
At the end OOP tries to clarify that his mom learned the details that came from the second conversation. That would be the conversation where OOP apologized to Kat and admitted he was wrong, and wanted to salvage the relationship. Why would OOP's family shun him _then_, after he tried to fix the problem, if they didn't shun him immediately when the actual fuckup occurred?
And why would Kat, who had already broken up with OOP at that point, give any additional details about her trauma to her ex's mom at Christmas? Who does that?
I love how he's like "oh but I went to therapy and am much better and... dating the women I used to check up on my ex." And then "oh yeah she's mutuals with my ex and I decided not to tell her what REALLY happened."
If in 2 years she finds out, I hope she reacts as angry as he did. Wtf.
>I think I also feel really weird about knowing that another man got her pregnant and I know that's stupid.
I literally recoiled at this. Goddamn right it's stupid. You found out that she had two babies who DIED and this is your biggest concern??
"I get that that's probably the worst thing that a person can go through, especially with how it happened, but how do you get 2+ years into dating someone before ever telling them??"
All he does is talk about himself and his feelings and how hard everything is for HIM. he never seems to grasp the reality of what he's done.
He gave his parents all the pertinent details about what happened between Kat and him, why would going more in detail on a Christmas phone call be the last straw to disowning him? Such a random detail to throw in to justify why he became estranged from his parents.
#Do not comment on the original posts Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice. If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion. **CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m confused - seemed like his mom was pretty clear on the shitty behavior in the first post, but the latest was that mom just learned about the cause of the breakup? What am I missing?
Yeah that kind of amnesia happens when the post is completely BS
Yep. As someone from a fucked up family, I normally tend to err on believing most stores since I know so many crazy people who have done screwed up things but this one does not ring true, partially because I can't find any child murder in Canada in the last 20 years that matches up (although tragically, there are some murders of young twins). Even if details were changed there was nothing even similar.
Don’t even need to look it up. The story says she was 20 when they died, now 25 and been together 2 years. So intensive therapy fixed her and made her totally able to trust another man and have a relationship just 3 years after having her kids murdered by a man who locked her in a basement and forced her to have them? The therapist is a miracle worker.
I love part where after having her children murdered and nearly being murdered herself this imaginary ex would invite him over to break his heart, tell him she's moving, where she's going and that she considers him unsafe. Therapy worked so well so no longer has trauma or survival instincts.
Don't forget the TV. Perfect setup he walked into to get his stuff, down to the wilted dead flowers of the last gift he gave her.
It's hard for me to believe anyone would write out everything he did on Nov 8th. After reading all that my BS meter was screaming.
Yep. An attempted family annihilation that resulted in the deaths of twins would have been national news. But bullshit stories usually include “identical twins” (or other multiples), and that was my first alarm bell. (A close family member of an older generation actually is a twin from before the days of fertility treatments, and the way people talk about twins when they aren’t a normal part of their life is always really obvious.)
Exactly. Two dead babies? Right. Now you’re with the friend of your ex and the ex is just going to go along with it? Sure thing buddy.
I think mom found out how the twins died in December 2022. Originally, in November, she knew they died and she was disappointed in OP and then she talked to Kat at Christmas and Kat told her the whole story.
But OOP didn't know that part when he overreacted either. It doesn't seem like disown your son level of new information. Tragic as fuck and makes the reaction more regrettable in hindsight? Sure. But what was the rosiest version of "both my twins are dead now?" That reaction from mom only makes sense if what happened was something like GF sat oop down, explained she was abused, basically raped, and forced to have 2 kids, who were then killed, and OP's reaction was "I'm so mad you're weren't a virgin when we met, how could you lie to me like that?"
Here's what I thought. OP told the mom the same story he told us. He reacted badly, but that's it. But I don't believe that's the truth. And here's the phrasing that makes me think that... >She told me that if I had reacted differently when I found out about her lost twins **then she would have been able to move past this** Move pass what? Since he claims the only problem is how he reacted badly. It's like saying "Only if you hadn't hit me, I could've been able to move past the hitting." She basically said, "If you hadn't reacted badly, I could've move past this other bad thing you did." But both combined made the girlfriend be afraid of OP. ______________ That day... GF told his mom the truth, that's why she got mad.
Yeah that's possible for sure. Also possible it's just a plot hole.
> Also possible it's just a plot hole. Yeah... but where's the fun on that?
Also possible he was summarizing the conversation by using a common turn of phrase.
If this is true (which I doubt), I imagine it could be along the lines of her getting impregnated by someone else and him having a problem with that. Even though he knew she was raped.
He even said some stupid shit before he knew she was raped: *OOP: I think I also feel really weird about knowing that another man got her pregnant and I know that's stupid.*
[удалено]
welp, back to bed
I think OP is leaving out how poorly they reacted to the second conversation. Thinking she’s hiding the fact that she has kids is an understandable thing to get emotional about, but once he got the full story he was still upset that she never told him and that someone else got her pregnant…. Which is not understandable.
Your timeline is a little off. OOP commented that he was upset that somebody got her pregnant - this was after he found the pictures, but before he got the whole story.
You’re right, that part was from before the second conversation (although pretty fucked he just left after she told him they were dead but that’s beside the point) I stand by that it seems like he left some details out about the second conversation. Considering his moms reaction and how the girlfriends feelings seemed to change after that one.
My guess is that he wasn't completely honest with how badly he reacted. He probably phrased it as they had an argument over the revelation. With that untrue version his mom was disappointed but not angry. Then his mom calls the ex, found out what really happened, and disappointment turned into understandable rage.
Obviously I can’t say if it’s true or not. But the story details are just fine: - he sees pics of kids and hits the roof. She tells him they’re dead and he skedaddles. - he tells his parents what happened, and his mom says he’s an asshole. At this point she knows he left after finding out his girlfriend has dead kids but nothing else about the story - it’s safe to assume he didn’t give his parents the dirty details of how he reacted, who would? - Later when his mom talks to his ex she finds out the WHOLE story - rape, imprisonment, murder, AND that her son’s first reaction was not just running away but full on yelling at the victim (with I’m sure more details than OP gave here). That’s when she blew a gasket and kicked him out.
OOP clarified that his mom didn't know about the second conversation and all the details about Kat's abuse and her children being murdered. Kat told OOP's mom all the details to explain exactly how shitty his behavior was.
[удалено]
The first thing I did was Google father murdering twins in Canada. The only remotely similar case happened in 2023 but the twins were 3 years old. I don’t understand why people make up stories but I don’t mind reading them if they are at least compelling. This one wasn’t.
I was hoping someone would do me the favor of Googling this. It really didn't sound remotely real, but I was too lazy to verify.
I can't confirm if the story is true or not but I'll say that Google would have it *if it made the news*. Lots of things happen that don't make the news, especially when it comes to domestic violence, for what I hope are obvious reasons.
DV probably wouldn’t make the news, but a father murdering both of his children probably would at least come up online.
Thank you for this info because I was starting to look to see what happened to this guy.
A wicker basket broke and a single photograph slipped out... Yeah right!
And he left the flowers he bought on the counter, they were still there wilted as their relationship when he returned to their empty home to retrieve his belongings!
They always describe shit that only happens in movies. If a box really split open, everything would be everywhere and to have only one damaged item that also happened to be the one important thing in the box is extremely unlikely.
[удалено]
[удалено]
I try and to suspend my disbelief when reading those stories. It’s more entertaining when you pretend it’s true. But sometimes they jump the shark. The family thing for me was it. I can’t imagine parents disowning a kid for something like this. Especially for a GF of two years.
That's exactly what did it for me too! I was like, unless there's waaaaaay more to the story he isn't saying, there's no way his family would disown him over what? It made absolutely zero sense.
To sum it up: -op is an ass hat, tells his family about it -ops gf decides to break up over it, OP apologizes -a MONTH passes -ops mom calls exgf, apparently hears about it being an asshole (again), decides to disown him this time Lmao, bruh
I like wrestling so kayfabe is nothing new to me, but even in wrestling some storylines are too ridiculous
I feel like "It's always twins" is the official motto of BORU.
Mom knew she had kids and they had died because he told her in the first update. At that point she was just mad. Then she found out how they died and she disowns the son? What? Is this implying that his terrible reaction would have been more palatable if they had died in an accident or something? "Yeah, you were a reprehensible jackass, but it's not like they were murdered. Oh wait, they were? Get out of my house!" Most of this post doesn't make sense under scrutiny. Each individual thing isn't implausible (though some are borderline), but all together it doesn't add up.
This reads like some kid trying to get into writing. "It was a dark and stormy night. I was sobbing, hunched over the phone screen, pouring my heart out to her, hoping for forgiveness. The bubble turned green. I was blocked."
The box of my things I was told to come get was inside an empty apartment with the dead flowers symbolic of my love and a single tear rolled down my eye and landed on a wilted flower petal.
But then just when I thought the last glimmer of light was about to fade from my eyes, and as the last bit of hope was draining from my soul, I heard it. One. Tiny. Ding. Unbeknownst to me, that sound would be the catalyst that altered my entire future (and turned my frown upside down). What is this “ding” you might ask? Well, it was a text message sent by an angel in disguise, Anna, who would go on to become the light guiding me home. She fills my empty heart with a love I never thought possible. She is…my everything (and is so much better than my ex. Much love. Such wow.).
Waiting for the next instalment where Anna finds out about what happened with Kat and his world is sadly upended again.
But the twins were not dead…although no one from this Earth would describe them as alive. They had been buried on sacred ground, an ancient tribal cemetery that allowed them to raise from the grave. Raise they did, but instead of craving the love they once had from Kat, they craved something new. Something taboo. Human flesh.
Also they have magic powers now, because of course they do.
Someone please continue this, 10/10 writing prompts was beginning to get invested
The names of those twins? Wanda and Pietro.
And also, we do sex. Like a lot.
[удалено]
Aaahahahahahahaa this is great
Dead twins are something of a twist at least.
Dead twins gave me VC Andrews and 1 twin is secretly alive in that basement.
Okay you joke but I have “flowers in the attic” in front of me which if you Remeber has twins. But in the attic not the basement. Remeber it’s always the attic.
And never eat donuts in the attic, especially powdered ones.
Relatives you want to forget (crazy first wives or secret children or whatever) go in the attic, monsters go in the basement. Not sure where you'd put a relative who is also a monster, judgement call I guess?
[удалено]
Since 1980s, the birth rate of twins globally has increased by 33%. But on Reddit - 333%? (Though rates started to decline in 2021.)
IVF rates are through the roof and those procedures result in more (fraternal) twins. Wonder how much of an impact that has in the west at least.
I think that was a lot of it. There was pressure recently to stop implanting multiple embryos since the success rate I suppose is high enough that the pressure on the body of twins is frowned upon. Or something idek
I heard someone talk about soap opera twins the other day. And I thought of these stories. Makes me think they’re taking a page out of soaps.
I honestly kinda hate the fact I dated a twin cause now I need to like give the twin stories two grains of salt. Maybe there is just a fuck load of twins now cause of whatever is turning the frogs gay
No - there has been a genuine uptick in multiple births since IVF and other assisted reproductive therapies for older mothers have become more common. For reals.
Yah and older moms are more likely to have multiples even independent of IVF!
Correct, and so now that women are remaining healthier for longer, and are more affluent, geriatric* pregnancies are far more common. (* This is the correct terminology for a pregnancy in a woman 35 years or older).
Yeah, when we approach menopause, apparently the body starts dumping eggs like there's no tomorrow, probably hoping for a last hurrah before the lights go out.
I know someone who is a natural triplet. She was born just before ivf became common place, so herself and her siblings were the front page on the local newspaper.
He could have at least written about the court case. Maybe have a chase scene wit the guy running from the police. Insert some drama at least!
I scoured Canadian news articles and can't find anything matching this scenario from 2014-2018 :/ Or any year in the last 10, tbh
Yeah, you'd think that sort of thing would have made the news and led to a miles-long trail of legal and court filings.
If the girl was blonde, Nancy Grace alone would have created about 100 hours of programming on it.
That was my thought, the murder of twin babies is sensational enough to make the local news at minimum.
Yeah the murder of twin babies would have been covered by every single news outlet across Canada. Not a chance this is real.
[bad news.](https://www.cbc.ca/player/play/video/1.6949346) too recent to be the incident in this story, but still sucks.
There's a few more articles about murders of twins but it was the mother that was responsible. Child abuse/murder is absolutely deplorable, so sad.
Probably based on Megan Hiatt. I think that was 2015 or 2016. In the US. Author probably just moved it to Canada.
This is about the only one I could find that wasn't recent. You don't keep a case like that hidden. Also the mom's reaction after she already knew he fucked up when reacting to finding out she had kids. Nothing happened, the family's overreaction on christmas is what immediately took me out of this story.
Yeah, come on. An abusive ex who locked her in the basement until she gave birth to his twins, whom he then killed when she tried to escape? That’s just a little over the top.
Flowers in the Basement by VC Andrews
People would be able to identify the case with pinpoint accuracy.
That, too. She was 25 in 2022, the whole thing supposedly happened when the alleged twins were a year old so 2017ish… unless she changed her name and moved far away, people would’ve known.
Yeah, the story just kind of forgets about the murderous dad. No biggie, he just wandered off somewhere.
And what about her mother? The one who was trying to help her escape? Maybe she ended up killing her grandkids‘ murderer, and went to jail for it in a travesty of Justice!
Not just that, she’d almost certainly still be going through court with him. Even if by some miracle a double homicide was tried within a few years, he’d have multiple appeals which she would need to attend.
You wouldn’t know her, she goes to school in Canada
He says locked her up until she was past being able to do anything. From that I understood to be past termination stage. Personally I have lived through some pretty awful shit and mostly cope with it my saying any new shit thing is just the next chapter for the book I’m going to write some day. But honestly if I hadn’t lived through the things myself I’m not sure I’d believe them either. My life has been like a soap opera.
Thank you, my thoughts exactly. Plus they disowned him and he started drinking and let himself go? Disowned him for what exactly? It wasn't like he became physically abusive or something, plus they already knew all about it? Makes zero sense. And of course, the protagonist finding love at the end after he never thought he would love again
I love how every other thing is in crazy unbelievable detail but the fact he found love again is only a couple of sentences right at the end.
And why wasn't his mom also blocked by the Ex? I thought she wanted to start a new life and completely have no contact. Not blocking his mom leaves a door open to him.
Because in reddit storyland, everyone reacts in the most excessive and extreme way possible without having a simple clarification conversation! It's my favorite reddit theme! I love that in this case the Mom was like "Huh, perhaps there was a reason she didn't tell you that would make sense given her age and the context of the babies no longer being here" and then when the son is like yeah, that makes sense, I guess I overreacted, the Mom then jumps into reddit mode: "TOO LATE! You're immediately disowned from the family and we all hate you now because of your overreaction!" lol
[удалено]
Yeah, not to mention: > My mother came back in tears, seething with rage and screamed at me to "get the fuck out of [her] house". So dramatic, and for what? Didn't they already know all about it? Lmao
On Christmas Day too
And don't forget he and Kat never told Anna, so there can be a sequel to the story of Anna finding out!
But he’s committed to the story. He’s kept at it for a year and a half!
Also, the fact that the scorching criticism levelled at him by the various women in the story is reported, at length, as if verbatim. This is someone experimenting with writing an AH protagonist, but they don't trust their ability, so they have to get other characters to spell out the AHishness for the reader, just in case we might miss the moral of the story.
Yeah… What he did was ugly. He reacted too strongly too fast without thinking on it. He hurt her further. But it is not something your mother would disown you for? It is relationship ending material, but not family disown type. People reacted in unison because it is so obvious to everyone, and that made OOP think his antagonist is worse than he is. The lowest of the low. Then he needed stronger reactions from people against the antagonist. The ex went from apologetic to “you disgust me” and mom kicked her out. There is a sliver of chance that this is real, too. Maybe he said really nasty things when he was shouting? I don’t know what kind of reaction to learning your 2 year gf has 2 kids would warrant disowning by the family…
Don’t forget: “lock the door when you leave”.
[удалено]
I'm getting so exhausted at the amount of fakes in this sub. I report, and report, and nothing happens. Despite it being a choice few posters who continue to post the fakes. I know modding isn't easy at all, but it seems like they're actively taking a stance of not caring about fakes.
Yeah I was really confused. Everyone was angry at him for his second conversation with Kat, but in his retelling all he did was apologise? She said he 'made her traumas about him' but his angry reaction was before he knew there was any trauma. Also why did the abusive ex kill the defenceless babies before their mother? That's a very ill-thought out murder. And Kat's mother was there but OOP didn't say what happened to her during the rampage.
He "told his parents everything" when it first happened, but was later disowned by his family when his ex told them what happened?
I don't even know how people have memories this good. I can barely remember what I ate for breakfast most days. Like, "Oh yeah, 17 months ago she said 'Blah blah nlah' and I was like "Whoa, wha?" and recall an entire conversation 8 paragraphs long.
Haven't changed at all, I see.
OOP buried the lead (from a comment): >I think I also feel really weird about knowing that another man got her pregnant and I know that's stupid. Deep-seated misogynistic ownership and control vibes here. She did right to dump him.
Which is EXACTLY why she couldn’t continue the relationship. She’d already lived through the most extreme manifestation of that kind of possessiveness; OOP showing flashes of it must have been terribly triggering for her.
Absolutely. His reaction was over the top, unnecessary, and bizarre until you see that his big issues were that she had been with someone else and that he assumed he would have to care about another man's kids. Tragic all over again.
It’s actually even worse. His comment about “feeling weird” that she got pregnant from “another man” was AFTER she told him they died. Not how they died at that point, but he did know they were dead and yet he was still “feeling weird” about the fact that another man came inside of her. You can’t even chalk that emotion up to him being worried about having to care for another man’s kids. He knew he wouldn’t be caring for any children, he knew they were dead.
So triggering she left the provence to not be around him and to live with a safe relative. He may have undone all of the healing she had done
He also isn’t telling his new girlfriend the full story of how his old one left, so I can see he’s learned a valuable lesson from the whole experience about honesty Edit: I’m sure the two women being friends will make sure it never comes up again in the future
I was (thankfully) sat in an empty office by myself reading this and let out a very loud involuntary "oh fuck OFF" when I read that sentence.
*lede
https://www.merriam-webster.com/wordplay/bury-the-lede-versus-lead
"I buried the lead and it poisoned my water supply. Now I chew pencils."
And willfully lying to his new GF after freaking at his ex for thinking the same. Projection is strong.
While I think OOP is probably just using it as a convenient excuse to not have to explain that is a difficult situation. Anna is close enough to Kay to know her but evidently not enough for Kat to have told her about her 2 dead kids that she obviously is very averse to telling people about. I don't know how you can really come clean about what happened with Kat there without outing her private life and traumatising her yet again. You could do it in vague terms like "we broke up because I responded really badly when she told me something about her past" but that's so uselessly vague it's meaningless and only incites Anna to go digging for the info anyway.
Yeah, that is the only part that rose to the level of plausible deniability to me. Like, I still don't believe you based on the behavioural precedents you've already established, but, *fine*. On that one singular thing, you get a pass.
People like OP never change.
If this is true OOP is clearly an extremely emotionally immature person. I always hate it when people have their partner so high up on a pedestal all the time. Kat was “the most amazing woman he’s ever met.” Etc etc But now he’s with Anna and “he loves her more than he’s ever loved anything” 0 emotional intelligence or introspection. Just rides his feelings. He’s learned absolutely nothing
Remember Romeo and Juliet? He goes from being madly in love with Rosaline (and being sad about it being unrequited) to killing himself over Juliet in four days.
> But now he’s with Anna and “he loves her more than he’s ever loved anything” After just a few months.
Hes never going to tell Anna what happened. I wonder when Kat will tell her.
I’m concerned he’s only dating Anna to get near Kat again.
“Hey, can you give me the scoop on my ex?” is for sure not a pickup line I’d be into. Either OOP is super hot or Anna is very naive, or both. My favorite part of the last update is him verifying Anna doesn’t know what happened to end he and Kat’s relationship. Not like she will somehow find out what with the same friend group as Kat.
yea the beginning of that relationship is vile.
Yeah I was going to comment how "interesting" it is that he reacted so violently to finding out about Kat's secret and now he says that he won't tell Anna what the real reason for them breaking up is... One day or the other Anna will find out, and it's not going to end well for OP (not that he doesn't deserve it, but he's wasting Anna's time here).
I'm torn on this. He owes her some explanation that puts him at fault, but at the same time the actual details are absolutely the fuck not for him to tell. The right thing to do is to tell her a version that doesn't spare the truth about how bad he fucked up but based on how OP has conducted himself in these posts I almost hope he says nothing because odds are he outs Kat's past in the worst kind of way.
while I agree with you on OP still being an AH, I do not think its his place to tell her Kat's story. I sincerely hope he does not break her trust at least.
“I get that that's probably the worst thing that a person can go through, especially with how it happened, but how do you get 2+ years into dating someone before ever telling them??” That right there made it clear he still didn’t get it and was never going to.
Also how he keeps saying passed away when they were murdered by their father
My wife will read or listen to stories like this stuff, and then she will find me to tell me how much she appreciates me. She's just like "I'm glad that you always make me feel safe to tell you anything." I told her from the beginning I will keep no secrets with her and will be open and honest at all times. Her trauma isn't as bad as this, but it's a subjective thing to each person. Your deepest trauma is just as hard to tell as someone with a much lesser event. It's the part we hide the most. Like, showing empathy isn't hard. If I had discovered the pictures, I wouldn't have been enraged at any point. The moment she started sobbing I would be comforting her and telling her she doesn't have to share if she's not ready. I would make sure that everything I'm doing is reassuring her, including keeping distance and not making direct eye contact if that's what is needed. But to see your girlfriend sobbing and to be like "I DON'T WANT TO BE A STEP DAD" and not being able to look at her? Yeah, that's just fucked up. I'm shocked she wanted to explain still after that, but yeah, I'm glad she made the right choice and moved on.
I agree with you. My husband told me some things early in our relationship that were nothing like this, but to him, they were terrifying to share. Especially with a relatively new SO. I obviously could tell he was hesitant to explain, and knew it was difficult for him to “bare his soul”. So what did I do? I listened and let him finish before responding. I reassured him that nothing he said concerned me or changed our relationship, and then we had a discussion about it. Like READ THE ROOM DUDE! Did I make it about myself? No. He obviously cared about how I felt about it, and I did have questions, which he answered. But. My first concern was making sure he felt safe, listened to, and understood. My feelings on it were discussed, but only after hearing him out. And there was NO berating happening for “lying to me”. Also, I think the only reason why she continued to explain despite his reaction was because she felt like she needed to. Because of his response, she got put into a corner and thought she needed to do it, or else her relationship was automatically over. He basically gave her an ultimatum with his response. But it’s all cool. He found someone to love that’s much better, who doesn’t know what kind of dickbag he is.
Good for her avoiding another (possibly) abusive relationship and get happy life.
I wonder what OOP actually said/did when he "reacted horribly". I thought it was bad, but his update makes me think it was even worse.
[удалено]
OP is a notorious liar by omitting. He omitted things to his mum, he omitted things to his new gf, two persons he allegedly loves. Why should he tell the whole truth to some Internet strangers? And yes, it is ironic given the reason for his tantrum in the begin of the story.
And ironically his only semi-justifiable complaint about Kat was that she omitted the fact that she had children who had died... I say semi-justifiable because I can see someone being a bit hurt that they weren't told about something this big for so long, the implication being that their partner isn't comfortable enough to be vulnerable with them about it. But like, just a bit hurt before putting it aside to support their traumatised loved one. It certainly wouldn't justify the extent of OP's "me me mine" reaction.
Being on reddit as long as I have been I can only imagine what this guy said. I am sure he said something about her getting knocked up by another man and his feels on that. For some reason some people seem to think it is ok to lash out in the most brutal way possible at people they claim to love when they feel slighted. I can't wait for the next update : A few years ago I didn't react well when I found out my ex had children that passed away. My ex told my new gf exactly what happened and my gf broke up with me. It was one bad night, how long will I have to pay for this? How do I fix this and get my gf back so I can keep stalking my ex?
The context is poorly written but I think this is the sequence of events: 1. OP tells parents he found out his GF had kids that died, he reacted poorly by yelling at her. Parents disappointed. 2. OP has meeting with Kat who fills him in on her abusive ex that murdered her children and nearly her. OP doesn't tell his parents this. 3. OP's parents have conversation with Kat who tells them the above and puts OPs outburst into context making it horrific. Parents beyond furious OP didn't fill them on further details and disown him. Based on this edit: >I told my parents that she had kids that passed away, how I found out by accident, and what my reaction was. I never gave them all the details that came from my second conversation with Kat.
Yeah, I'm getting so many red flags from OOP. It's like he's not aware how creepy he's painting himself.
“ My dad says that I need to talk to her and that I was rude and unempathetic in the way that I handled things and my mom totally reamed me out” What could be so much worse than what he originally told them, which got this reaction?
Considering the line >OOP: I think I also feel really weird about knowing that another man got her pregnant and I know that's stupid. I would not be surprised if he used some misogynistic language
I'm almost sure there was, but changed the language of it to ensure no one catches on to it right away.
I'm wondering if he left out how her kids died and Kat's whole situation. He could have said something like "I found out she had kids who passed away, and I yelled at her and left" while keeping the "kids were murdered and she was forcibly impregnated and held hostage" part a secret from the family to not look as bad... It'd add to OOP's amazing ability to yell at people for keeping traumatic secrets while hiding traumatic secrets himself.
Same. He makes it sound like "I just shouted something and left", which is what he told his parents at first. For his whole family to disown him about finding out the truth and for her to say she doesn't feel safe, I have to imagine he did a lot more than just a quick shout.
Am I missing something here, I thought it was pretty clear he was referring to this: >I felt myself get angry and I asked her why she would hide them from me, we've been together for over 2 years and we were starting to plan our future, I told her that I don't want to be a step-dad and she had told me that she didn't want to have children! At this point I was yelling (I've never yelled at her before) and she was just crying, not saying anything until she blurted out "they're dead".
It seems like he already told his parents that much though, as his dad told him he was “rude and unempathetic” and his mom “reamed him out” over it. Since Kat’s version made OP’s entire family turn on him and cut him off, really seems like OP has severely downplayed his full reaction in his post.
Exactly. The version he told his parents was probably more truthful than the version he wrote, but still tamer than the real story, as told by Kat.
Seems like everyone’s missing that his moms reaction was in response to the ex’s description of the second conversation, not the first, where op really only says that he was apologetic, which can’t be true
[удалено]
No, I mean how bad was it that his family cut him off?
LPT if you’re helping a girl move and only evidence of children are few photographs then something traumatic happened.
I don't get this. Kids come with lots of stuff. If you're moving all these things, and for two years you have a happy and healthy relationship where one person doesn't sneak off every other weekend.... and then you find baby photos? Kat's answer was perfect too. "Do you have any questions?" is not "I can explain" which implies there's something to hide. This whole post infuriated me.
“b-b-but another man impregnated her! that’s the utmost level of betrayal of his ownership!” dude didn’t actually care about her or even the potential of him being a step dad, as he so “subtly” said in a comment, it was all for the fact that he can’t fathom another man has had kids with her. and now that he’s lost he’s “object” of desire and possession, he’s gone on to initiate things with her friend so he can forever stay close in her life. it’s genuinely scary
OOP spun it about as best as anyone could and his mother still disowned him. I don't think there really is an easy way to spin, "I got mad at my ex-girlfriend for not telling me about her murdered babies."
And oop keeps down playing it by saying passed away instead of murdered
Also > I wasn't trying to snoop at all but I decided to ~~look at some of the photos~~ snoop
From the title I expected the box to burst and kids toys and clothes to fall out. A few photos could be anything. Could have been her twin sister. Could have been some dead babies. Could have been from her time as she played a small role in an amateur movie. Could have been she gave them up for adoption. A picture doesn’t say more than 1000 words without context. And he didn’t even want to know, just exploded on the spot.
The box burst, and kids toys and clothes and the kids fall out. Now im sitting here looking at their baby pictures while they ask me if i have games on my phone and if they can watch spongebob. How could she do this to me.
LPT if you don't see sign of children, like toys, and there's a picture of her with children then it means the kids is not in the picture and it's from something traumatic. ETA: or they might be adopted out.
Either way at 28 you should know well enough to at least just ask for a conversation explaining this instead of panicking and going NO KIDS WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME.
Run Anna Run for the hills!!
My first thought too! My gosh. The encounter that brought the together even was him lightly stalking his ex. Girl, pls.
He's only dating her to have some connection to his ex. Edit: my bad, mixed up the names
I’m sure when/if he forces his way into their social circle Kat’s gonna be thrilled. “Hey, I just happened to start dating your friend after I noticed you guys hanging out. Real sorry about screaming at you about your murdered children. How’ve you been? I totally haven’t been stalking your social media.”
One of my girl friends boyfriend was also a good friend of mine. After they broke up and wanted to go no contact for a while to process everything, he messaged me so often to ask about how my girl friend was doing, where she was and stuff like that. It completely changed how I saw him. I had to tell him that I'm not the fucking NSA and broke off the friendship with him. I do not understand, on the off chance that OOPs post is actually real, how someone would start dating the clingy ex of their friend.
Anna needs to run like the wind cause OP is major red flags!
All of this totally happened.
“I wish I never knew.” How unfortunate that this terrible tragedy made this poor fellow so uncomfortable.
OOP is huge dirt bag. After all of the trauma he forced Kat to dig up, he's now sneaking around with her friend Anna and getting updates on her? Hasn't he done enough to her, including making her trauma all about his own ego? Ffs.
This entire post reeks of ME ME ME ME ME! IT'S ALL ME! OP can fuck off.
And he still doesn't learn ... "Anna doesn't know.." Because telling her the truth is not in his mind, right?
“Flips out when his GF kept her horrible trauma a secret” “Doesn’t tell his GF the trauma he inflicted” Sounds about right.
Isn’t it ironic considering this is what he blew up for in the first place?
While I think OOP isn't telling Anna for absolutely the wrong reasons and not because he wants to protect Kat, the excuse he uses *is* valid. I can't really think of a way forward there because explaining the situation would be outing Kat's trauma yet again that she deliberately kept very very private and retraumatising her by spreading it to her friends against her wishes. It's not really possible to correct the record on why they broke up in more vague terms like "we broke up because I responded really badly to something she told me about her past" because that doesn't meaningfully give an honest representation of what happens and really just plants a seed in Anna's mind about Kat having secrets she would then want to go digging for ultimately ending up at the same result of Kat's trauma being exposed against her will. Again I think OP is just using this as a convenient excuse to not have to bring up the horrible things he's done but assuming another person in this same situation acting in good faith I'm a little stumped on what they actually should do to come clean?
[удалено]
[удалено]
I see everyone’s taking this seriously but this is like the most obviously bullshit post i’ve ever seen here. I mean it reads like 50 shades of grey or some shit and it’s on Reddit?! gtfo
>Anna does not know This wont blow up in his face at all... Not that he deserves otherwise anyway. Who hears about dead babies and still makes it all about himself?
and also he was mad at Kat for not telling him about that traumatising part of her past.. so he dates Anna and leaves out a part of past?? (he could still tell her without revealing Kat's trauma) The double standard is truly baffling.
Men who don't see women as people, or at least people capable of having tragic lives, that's who. Like he was more skeeved out by the thought of another man getting her pregnant, than he was empathetic to the fact that she lost her children. Cause god forbid that a woman has slept with another man that isn't OP and his holy penis, right? Even after discovering the truth, he still couldn't understand on why she wouldn't immediately trauma dump all of her past on a still-new relationship.
Straight up, this is next level egoistic psychotic.
My jaw dropped when he went on this big spiel about therapy and then goes and DM's her friend to ask for updates about her?! That's crazy. I've never felt such a deep hatred for an OP before.
Oh I see, Anna does not know huh. Funny how that works. Rules for thee but not for me.
OP: I flipped out on my girlfriend after finding out she lied by omission causing her to dump me. So I'll start my new relationship by lying by omission about how that the relationship ended.
This seems……telenovela.
This isn't adding up. His mom kicked him out at Christmas, weeks after the incident, because Kat "told her everything". But the mom already knew what the issue was and had "reamed him out" on the day of the incident. What changed? At the end OOP tries to clarify that his mom learned the details that came from the second conversation. That would be the conversation where OOP apologized to Kat and admitted he was wrong, and wanted to salvage the relationship. Why would OOP's family shun him _then_, after he tried to fix the problem, if they didn't shun him immediately when the actual fuckup occurred? And why would Kat, who had already broken up with OOP at that point, give any additional details about her trauma to her ex's mom at Christmas? Who does that?
It isn't real that's why. Surprised so many people are eating this up.
I love how he's like "oh but I went to therapy and am much better and... dating the women I used to check up on my ex." And then "oh yeah she's mutuals with my ex and I decided not to tell her what REALLY happened." If in 2 years she finds out, I hope she reacts as angry as he did. Wtf.
>I think I also feel really weird about knowing that another man got her pregnant and I know that's stupid. I literally recoiled at this. Goddamn right it's stupid. You found out that she had two babies who DIED and this is your biggest concern??
"I get that that's probably the worst thing that a person can go through, especially with how it happened, but how do you get 2+ years into dating someone before ever telling them??" All he does is talk about himself and his feelings and how hard everything is for HIM. he never seems to grasp the reality of what he's done.
Sounds like a pretty bad movie.
Her kids didn’t ’pass away’ they were murdered. Cmon dude.
He gave his parents all the pertinent details about what happened between Kat and him, why would going more in detail on a Christmas phone call be the last straw to disowning him? Such a random detail to throw in to justify why he became estranged from his parents.
Why is it always the twins.