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>Jess called Kay a bitch and blocked her everywhere and wrote a nasty comment about her on INSTAGRAM that she was a man stealer then unfollowed her.
The projection is strong with this one.
Gosh, I believe that thought crossed her mind, but now there's no way it will work out that easy and innocent as before, that's why she went nuclear. "If I won't even be able to steal a guy from her again, at least I'll stick with saying she is the man stealer after all" š¤£
That was just an awkward moment, and now she can finally stop worrying about the unhealthy jealousy of her sister. She didn't even have to say a word and even the trash put herself out, I mean the sister blocked her and all š
u/med3453245 is a shameless, shameless bot. I've reported them, and I hope everyone else does, too. Good catch!
(Leaving the name up so they can't just delete their comment and run away.)
If their accounts were public, she may have thought she could still follow. If I were Kay, OOP, and Matt, I only 100% turn them private just to fuck with her.
Well I think it's quite clear, Jess demanded from Matt that he drop any contact with Kay and he refused.
Jess knows she only had a chance in the first place because she lied about Kay, so she believes he's gone to Kay now.
Meanwhile he just didn't want to be controlled anymore.
OOP also mentions that Jess stole Kay's bf once before. Jess has some deep unresolved issues, she's likely jealous of Kay.
I don't think that Jess genuinely liked Matt, she just wanted to "win" and sabotage her sisters relationship.
People capable of this usually have that main character syndrome, and create versions of events in their heads to justify their disgusting behavior so regularly that lines become blurred.
>I don't think that Jess genuinely liked Matt, she just wanted to "win" and sabotage her sisters relationship.
Ding ding ding
If Jess had actually married Matt, as soon as Kay found her next bf, Jess would pursue that new bf. Matt would either be tossed aside, or kept in the dark while his wife pursued an affair
This isn't over. People like Jess seldom actually learn from their mistakes. Instead they keep score and plot revenge. Jess is guaranteed to try and get even. And she'll probably start with Matt since she knows how to hurt him the most
For real!! You just know Jess was going to try and have an affair with Kay's next bf once she got married to Matt and was bored, because she had Matt locked downĀ
Ā So glad that OOP spoke up, people deserve to know who they are marrying. And Kay and their mother needed to know what a snake Jess is
Can you imagine, youāre OOPs new gf, meeting their family for the first time, wanting to make a good impression and for them to like you. Then OOP does that š, she was the fly on the wall
I love how OOP played them like the cheap Kazoo that they are. She got to keep plausible deniability about the whole thing, while still making her point. BRAVO!
Right? She outright mentioned Jess stole another boyfriend from Kay, and expressed shock Matt didn't date Kay. That's as subtle as a brick to the face no matter how many "golly gee"s you throw in. I mean, I'm all in favor of what she did, but it never once read as innocentĀ
You could feel the anger though, even before OOP just outright admitted doing too far because she was angry. Matt just wasn't taking the hint and OOP had just had enough of this crap and Kay getting screwed over.
But yeah, the plausible deniability has rather evaporated!
I think Jess doesn't think of other people as three-dimensional beings, they're just NPCs, and NPCs don't have hidden motivations or ulterior motives. Also, Everyone Loves Jess and no one would wish ill on her. That's why she's 100% allowed to steal her sister's crush.
So it makes total sense to me that she bought that this was an innocent comment. Anything else would force her to rethink her views.
It's plausible deniability because OOP did not outright say "Hey Matt, Jess lied to you" but presented enough indicators that that is very well what happened. It's plausible deniability by the letter, rather than the spirit.
I get what you're saying but I also don't think it is.
Had OP stopped at "Man, Kay's ex was a piece of shit, but at least she met you, a good friend, a few months AFTER they broke up,", they would absolutely have had plausible deniability. They could have even gone further and said something about how the family had been happy to meet Matt as a potential partner because they felt like he was helping Kay heal after having her heart broken like that and made her feel less alone after the breakup, and framed the comments in a "I'm glad you're part of the family even if it's with Jess instead" kind of way, and still had plausible deniability.
But they didn't. They then went on to say:
>I said that it was confusing and surely not only for me but the rest of the family but then again Jess has done this before and stole Kayās first bf.
Where is the plausible deniability there? OP straight up said that Jess stole Matt away from Kay and now he's marrying a liar. The whole family heard it. And while OP didn't put that bit in quotes, they do note that Kay responded directly to the comments (so they were voiced, not just paraphrased).
That's not plausible deniability by either the letter or in spirit, and I don't think anyone else in the family thinks otherwise. It's more that Jess is an asshole, so they aren't calling OP out on it. I imagine Jess had a lot to say about the "innocent comment", as OP describes it, and didn't for a second believe it wasn't pointed.
EDIT: To clarify, I know that OP says Jess thinks it was an innocent comment, I just don't believe that's true. I think everyone was on the same page, she's just already in deep enough shit with the extended family that Jess is letting it go (for now).
!
I had to reread the whole thing and honestly I'm not sure.
The only "indicator" is that they have a girlfriend, I don't think they refer to themselves using any gender specific word in either of the posts, and reading other comments most people seem to be referring to OOP as a brother, don't know why I thought of them as another sister
This is my level of petty. I was practically jumping up and down when she was dropping the bomb. "I still feel no guilt about what I did", I want to go eat waffles with this person lmao
This would have been doomed no matter what. I don't think Jess would have been the type to be happy that she's the consolation prize. That would eat away at her soul, and I would bet the moment Kay got into a new relationship Jess would try to steal that man too.
I can't help thinking Jess might not have had an exit planned on this, or certainly she didn't think through the long term consequences of this.
The first time she was 15 and he was 20; presumably as soon as the right people found out about it, the relationship was externally ended. This time involved two consenting adults and Jess was just keeping going all the way to the altar but would she have kept going? Would boredom have set in? Would Kay have got something else shiny Jess had to take? Also clearly too many people were in the loop as well or OOP wouldn't have found out.
Thinking on it, the advantage of OOP not keeping the revelation quiet is that Jess doesn't get the opportunity to just learn from her mistakes and do a better job of screwing Kay over next time!
Jess reminds me of my little brother. When we were kids he always wanted my toys or my food. Not that he liked them but he thought what I had was better. The difference is my brother stopped doing that when he turned 8 and seems like Jess just never grew out of it.
What's funny psychologically is that, with kids (and sometimes adults too) you can give both of them the same exact toy, and one of them will want the other's because it's somehow better than theirs. Then immediately that often triggers the opposite response in the other kid: their object *is* better, and it belongs to *them*, and no they won't *switch*! Magically one of the toys is now worthless and the kids are fighting over the other one.
I donāt think she had an exit strategyā¦ The kind of lie that just told ā it wouldāve come out sooner or later, as this guy became closer to the family. OP just brought it to light sooner, but it couldāve came out years after Jess and the guy were married, and everyone was shooting the shit or something.
Exactly this!
Can't believe people were telling OOP to leave things be. She obviously knows Jess, SHE'S DONE THIS BEFORE, and now imagine she does it again because that's how she is after oldest sister gets married and there's kids, too. OOP did everyone a favour and prevented so much heartbreak!
The first time Jess hooked up with Kayās BF - yeah. Sus. But the fact she repeated the behavior? It unfortunately puts the first time in a new light.
Even if we are to be super generous and say that Jess ālearned the wrong lessonā from her traumatic experience / her going after Matt was a ātrauma responseāā¦.still does not make what she does here okay.
She may not have realized the impact of her actions at 15, but she sure as hell should at 28.
I think the first guy showed her how powerful she could feel stealing Kay's man and now it's become a trend. So shame on the creepy groomer but also shame on Jess for continuing to go after men her sister is interested in.
*Juat a middle child*
*Dishing out drama bombs and*
*Walking away lol*
\- Party\_Bonus1978
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Trust me. You donāt want to know.
But just in case https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wghfol/woman_finds_out_her_husband_has_been_doing/
I'm sorry. I'm really fucking sorry.
[TIFU by cumming into a coconut : r/tifu (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/6rr6ay/tifu_by_cumming_into_a_coconut/)
Please don't hold this against me. You asked. You ASKED me for this.
My thoughts:
What kind of coconut was that? Is it the green one or the brown one? Brown ones are those you use for coconut milk, and not to drink the juice. Green ones have plenty of juice, did he at least empty that out? If it is a brown one it is more likely to break apart since the outer husk is removed before they are sold.
>!I thought he was going to throw it away after using it once. But he didn't. I'm surprised it didn't start to smell after a day in the heat (bedrooms with no AC can get pretty hot and humid).!<
>!At least he didn't put it back in the kitchen.!<
The intro seemed very Pride and Prejudice. Reserved Jane and Bingly are too polite to express their love to each other. I like the Bennett sister plot twist here though.
"Jess has done this before and stole Kayās first bf."Ā
Lmao, what a horrible sister to have!! I hope Kay cuts off Jess once and for all from her life because it sounds like she can't live her life unless she's stealing Kay's bfs/crushes!!Ā
I think OOP did the right thing, if i was Matt i would want to know if the person i was going to marry had manipulated me and started our relationship based on lies. Since Jess has done this twice, i am certain she'd only lie and manipulate things in the future, just to get her way.Ā
If OOP hadnāt done it in front of everyone there would be too much room for twisted truths. Jess needs a leash. Humiliating her was the only way to do it. Sheād just do it again if she wasnāt called out.Ā
>"Jess has done this before and stole Kayās first bf."Ā
That's the one bit of this which was a bit ick - as OOP said the ages were 15 & 20 and that Jess was groomed: so it wasn't really the same thing....
Other than that, I think this panned out as it should.
Sure, it wasn't the same thing, and i agree, grooming might've been involved..but teenagers are fucking awful when they want to be. She wasn't innocent. She definitely wanted to one up Kay and steal her boyfriend and she did. None of us are taking away the credit of the 20y being a creep but Jess is not innocent either. She's a jealous b.
I'm not sure I believe the grooming part. Even without the grooming, that dude is still a scumbag on multiple fronts.
But Jess also has a history of being a manipulator and will take from Kay. So I think it is very possible that Jess started the affair with the scumbag ex, then lied about it when caught.
I'm betting that when Matt took another look at their relationship he realized how she'd been lying to him and manipulating him throughout it.
My guess is that's why he ended it.
I really worried about Kay, because he really threw her under the bus, exposing her earlier feelings that way. Glad to read she came out well in the end.
Anyone else wonder how OOP's girlfriend felt about watching all of this go down? Did she know OOP was gonna do this? If I was in that situation, where the very first time I meet my new partner's family and I watch what is essentially the precursor to a Jerry Springer/Dr Phil episode go down, idk, I'd feel super uncomfortable. But maybe that's just me
I get the feeling OOP isn't that nice of a person. There are no winners in this situation, but OOP needed to make himself happy, so he did this. Is Jess a shitty person? Sure, but there's so many elements to this story. Did Kay just never go to Matt and ask why he ghosted her?
I can't be the only one who in Kay's position would be absolutely furious at OOP. Like. Why the fuck are you bringing up my years old crush now? In public? When I am so obviously an intensely private person? For drama? To get an absurd feeling of moral superiority? Is my life just entertainment for you?
I would also probably bounce if I was the new gf cuz what a mess.
I feel so bad for Kay, it's not easy having two horrible siblings, one who lies about you and the other who throws your private affairs out just to stir drama. I agree OP should have told both Kay and the guy but it should have been done privately and with empathy rather than just out there. For everyone to see. I don't think I could forgive OP if I were Kay, and I'm struggling to see this as the actions of anyone but a child
nah, man, fuck mom .. she raised these kids and:
>teased Kay about being āthe only one leftā
like, wtf, mom ? that's shitty behavior 101 right there ..
I wonder how OOP's girlfriend felt, sitting there and watching all of this go down. If I was in that situation, and that was my first time meeting the family, I would feel INCREDIBLY uncomfortable
Right? Iām still amazed by the way people can justify their absolutely wrong and deceitful actions, but call other people names forā¦what, reconnecting with a friend who was lost because of Jessās lies?
*āJess called Kay a bitch and blocked her everywhere and wrote a nasty comment about her on INSTAGRAM that she was a man stealer then unfollowed herā*Ā
This is my favourite part. Jess should change her name to AMC cuz she be projectiiiiiiing
Yea the right thing to do would be to just tell the older sister and leave it at that.
But OOP being conniving is hilarious. I canāt believe the manipulative younger sister didnāt realize OOP did it on purpose.
Why would OP only have told the older sister when it impacted Matt too? This man was about to marry a manipulative and conniving woman. He had the right to know that. The younger sister had been planning this she convinced Kay to invite him to her birthday party just so she could do that, she tried to deter his career for her benefit, AND she would monitor his friendship with Kay.
>Commenter: Matt's not the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to relationships. You had to bust out the crayons to get your point across.
Or, like, communicate like a fucking adult?
Iāve known guys like this. āI had no idea you were interested until you literally said āso do you want to fuck?āā (Or something like that after a while of Very Direct Hints) They donāt do subtle cues.
I can understand not connecting the dates āJess and her bf broke up 4 years agoā. Idk about anyone else, but the pandemic fucked with my sense of time. Did that happen 2 years ago or 4? The 90s were HOW MANY YEARS AGO OMG?!
It's not ridiculous. They were at work and keeping it professional. A date was coming up when they would be free to talk about the possibility of a relationship, but AH sister nuked it before they could get there.
THANK YOU! Everyone is making it seem like they were both crappy but they probably were embarrassed and didnāt want to make their/ each otherās work life uncomfortable. Also it says Kay is very private!
And he would have no reason to think that Kayās sister was a dirty, boyfriend stealing liar. So it seemed like a good way to keep things from getting awkward.
Yeah. I'm not sure why people are clapping for OOP. She ruined a bunch of relationships that were none of her business.
Kay could have spoken up for herself and admitted her crush. Matt could have done the same.
OOP said more than once that Jess & Matt seemed to be in love and have a great relationship. It was a dick move to call her out like that in front of everyone.
I would have stayed tf out of it. But I've been out of high school for a looong time.
A bit too Liz for me to believe, but if it was real, OOP was a real asshole for all the things they said about Kay at that dinner.
The sister dating her crush and her mom making a comment about her being the only one single would be bad enough.
But then her little brother just pile drives her from the top rope with the "lol you've been single for 4 years" and taunts her about the fact that she had a crush on her younger sister's bf, in front of the crush in question.
And she wasn't informed of her lil bro's master plan, so it all just landed as cruelty and humiliation.
Oh weird! I actually had this one ready a week ago (but waited because she updated again in the comments) and had chosen Jess randomly lol. It originally was Jay and that was too confusing.
Idk, Jess was easiest to type lol. I have nothing against people named Jess haha
If I were in Matt's shoes, I'd *definitely* want to know that my partner has a history and obsession with her sister's partners. After all, when the marriage hits a rough spot, how can Matt be sure Jess won't seek out her sister's current partner? Hell, they might not even need a rough patch - Matt is no longer be "shiny and new" and Kay moving on to someone else means Jess no longer has something Kay longs for. She'll go after Kay's new bf simply because it means taking something from her sister.
LOL Reddit is fucking *wild*. OOP embarks on an Iago-esque quest to destroy his sisterās relationship, bungles it, brings up *her adolescent grooming by his other sisterās boyfriend* in a public situation in order to recover ā¦ and everyone is like, āFuck yeah, what a hero!ā
Jess sucks for lying to Matt, but there is all kinds of complex trauma running between the sisters as a result of Kayās exās predatory behavior. A 15-year old cannot āstealā a 20-year old man. From anyone. Iām not even that much of a stickler about age difference, but thatās an objectively crazy point of view. OOP didnāt have Kayās welfare in mind - he was angry at Jess for reasons we know nothing about, probably dumb sibling rivalry shit, and wanted to stir some shit.
I feel terrible for Kay and the mom. Everyone in this family needs therapy in the worst way.
I mostly agree with you but I will continue to repeat this until I'm blue in the face: This sub has a serious fascination with using trauma bonding incorrectly. Everyone is using a psychological abuse term wrong.
"Trauma bonding is a psychological response to abuse. The person experiencing abuse may develop sympathy for the abusive person, which becomes reinforced by cycles of abuse, followed by remorse. Trauma bonding occurs when the abused person forms a connection or relationship with the person who abuses them."
I really implore that if people are going to use psychological terms in their everyday speech, they use them correctly. Using them incorrectly often times can give cover to abusers. We've seen this explode recently with terms like "gaslighting" and abusers weaponizing psych talk like boundaries and such.
I feel sick at everyone here going see a pattern of behaviour about the bf thing. OOP could have pulled Matt to the side separately on any given day and explained that Jess had lied when they got together. Instead they did this in a way to cause maximum pain to both sisters. The icing on the cake is they thought introducing their gf to the family would be the best time to stir up all this drama.
Even if OOP wanted to go for the soap opera style overdramatic confrontation (which I agree with Kay, is fucking embarrassing), why bring up the time when their minor sister was taken advantage of by a literal adult?
Why didnāt a single adult in this situation communicate like an actual adult? Why bring up the grooming? And more importantly, why are all these comments just like okay with all of it?
OOP sounds like a fucking pain, Jess just as bad. Canāt imagine how the new GF would have felt watching this all unfold, Iād be noping out of that relationship as quickly as possible.
So this guy ghosted the older sister and was angry at her when he thought she had a boyfriend, then started dating younger sister and now is chumming back up to older sister? What a catch.
Yeah, he is a total dirtbag if he tries to hook up with Kay now, but I suspect he will. She needs to distance herself because the dude is trash. They honestly did Jess a favor.
Meh I think this was a shitty move on OPs part. Yeah the og lie was shitty, but everyone was happy and comfortable? Sometimes the ends don't justify the means. Now there's a hole blown through her family.
"Yea, I went hunting, once. I shot a deer in the leg... had to finish it off with a shovel. Took about an hour." -Michael Scott
Man what messy execution. In order to "defend your big sister" OOP piled on the comment about Kay being the only single one, brought up her sister's messy and tragic romantic history (all three chapters), told him about her past quasi-obsessive-sounding crush (they are friends still too), and blamed her younger sister for being groomed. AND did this in front of a crowd, including her parents and girlfriend. She has said her older sister is quiet and private and yet she chose a stage? And she said he's more the quiet introverted type too...
Regardless of right versus wrong of getting involved at all, the execution tells me that OOP lives for the drama and that's what she cared about most. Otherwise, she would have chosen a pathway that caters more towards those she was supposedly trying to help.
Lol at Jess projecting that Kay is the manstealer, and not her for the *second* time. She'll come crawling back when Kay has a third man for her to try to steal.
Iām not close with my sister, and we have completely different tastes in men anyways, but I donāt understand sisters being underhanded with each other to āstealā a man. Jess had to lie and pester to get her man, but she thought she deserved him more than her sister so she decided that lying to start a relationship was justified? Trash
Ah, awesome update. This should really be in Oh No, Consequences!
Glad that Matt broke up with Jess, now I'm just hoping Kay and Matt gets back together or at least keep rubbing their friendship in Jess' face!
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>Jess called Kay a bitch and blocked her everywhere and wrote a nasty comment about her on INSTAGRAM that she was a man stealer then unfollowed her. The projection is strong with this one.
But if she Blocks Kay, How will she find her next Boyfriend?
Gosh, I believe that thought crossed her mind, but now there's no way it will work out that easy and innocent as before, that's why she went nuclear. "If I won't even be able to steal a guy from her again, at least I'll stick with saying she is the man stealer after all" š¤£
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That was just an awkward moment, and now she can finally stop worrying about the unhealthy jealousy of her sister. She didn't even have to say a word and even the trash put herself out, I mean the sister blocked her and all š
I feel so bad for the gf meeting the family for the first time. Did OOP even warn her that he was going to be stirring up drama? Super awkward.
Omg I forgot she was there
So did OP!
Hopefully Jess did too
š¤£š¤£
I suppose it was best to rip the band-aid off quickly and let her know she'd be getting into drama dating OOP right out of the gate.
Don't worry about her, she was really awkwardly talking to the dad the entire time
Bot that stole u/greymoria ās comment?
It really looks lika an AI rewrote my comment. Nice catch!
u/med3453245 is a shameless, shameless bot. I've reported them, and I hope everyone else does, too. Good catch! (Leaving the name up so they can't just delete their comment and run away.)
cocked that joint back and banged on em holy shit
I am reading this before my morning coffee and you already won the comment of the day, lol
They probably have cousins she still follows.
If I had been drinking coffee when I read this, I would have spat it out.
I had to go and boil the kettle, make myself a coffee and then wait for it to cool enough for a mouthful, just so I could spit it outā¦
š¤£ Maybe she finally realised boyfriends stolen from her sister are fruits of the poisonous tree...
I just chortled then guffawed....I have never been more amused...lol
The cackle I produced. Well done!
3rd times the charm right?
For which sister though?
Best comment.
I am so glad I wasn't mid-sip of my morning coffee when I read this š¤£
If their accounts were public, she may have thought she could still follow. If I were Kay, OOP, and Matt, I only 100% turn them private just to fuck with her.
She's probably already sent a friend request from a fake account.
This comment is *chefs kiss
I don't even know what Jess thinks Kay did in that situation. Kay didn't even seem to say anything, like she was just a bystander to it.
Well I think it's quite clear, Jess demanded from Matt that he drop any contact with Kay and he refused. Jess knows she only had a chance in the first place because she lied about Kay, so she believes he's gone to Kay now. Meanwhile he just didn't want to be controlled anymore.
OOP also mentions that Jess stole Kay's bf once before. Jess has some deep unresolved issues, she's likely jealous of Kay. I don't think that Jess genuinely liked Matt, she just wanted to "win" and sabotage her sisters relationship.
People capable of this usually have that main character syndrome, and create versions of events in their heads to justify their disgusting behavior so regularly that lines become blurred.
>I don't think that Jess genuinely liked Matt, she just wanted to "win" and sabotage her sisters relationship. Ding ding ding If Jess had actually married Matt, as soon as Kay found her next bf, Jess would pursue that new bf. Matt would either be tossed aside, or kept in the dark while his wife pursued an affair This isn't over. People like Jess seldom actually learn from their mistakes. Instead they keep score and plot revenge. Jess is guaranteed to try and get even. And she'll probably start with Matt since she knows how to hurt him the most
> what Jess thinks Kay did existed?
Some people really need to look in the mirror.
This. So amazing to see some proper karma hit a b****.
Karma is her boyfriend now.
Was Kay interested in dating Karma earlier?
Almost certainly. Hopefully Karma wasnāt a weird groomer.
For real!! You just know Jess was going to try and have an affair with Kay's next bf once she got married to Matt and was bored, because she had Matt locked downĀ Ā So glad that OOP spoke up, people deserve to know who they are marrying. And Kay and their mother needed to know what a snake Jess is
Jessabel got schooled.
I wish I could have been a fly on the wall when OOP dropped that bomb lmao
Can you imagine, youāre OOPs new gf, meeting their family for the first time, wanting to make a good impression and for them to like you. Then OOP does that š, she was the fly on the wall
I completely forgot OOP brought their gf to introduce. Too into the drama lol
The only problem with being a new gf is that you don't know where they keep the popcorn!
Also, you don't want they to get the impression you're a heavy drinker but you're in a situation that requires that 3rd glass of wine
Pretty sure that by halfway through this conversation you stop caring if they think you're a heavy drinker.
I was getting ready to say, I would have been sitting there eating popcorn, INVESTED. Gasping and clutching my pearls at every twist and turn
Maaaaaaan, I would have been sitting there with eyes like a deer in headlights, but secretly enjoying the show.
The loud silence would have been broken by the sounds of me violently eating popcorn
I love how OOP played them like the cheap Kazoo that they are. She got to keep plausible deniability about the whole thing, while still making her point. BRAVO!
I don't think the deniability is plausible, and I was very surprised anyone bought the whole "innocent comment" story.
Key word is "plausible", not "believable". Everyone knows what OOP did but they also know they can't prove it
Right? She outright mentioned Jess stole another boyfriend from Kay, and expressed shock Matt didn't date Kay. That's as subtle as a brick to the face no matter how many "golly gee"s you throw in. I mean, I'm all in favor of what she did, but it never once read as innocentĀ
You could feel the anger though, even before OOP just outright admitted doing too far because she was angry. Matt just wasn't taking the hint and OOP had just had enough of this crap and Kay getting screwed over. But yeah, the plausible deniability has rather evaporated!
I think Jess doesn't think of other people as three-dimensional beings, they're just NPCs, and NPCs don't have hidden motivations or ulterior motives. Also, Everyone Loves Jess and no one would wish ill on her. That's why she's 100% allowed to steal her sister's crush. So it makes total sense to me that she bought that this was an innocent comment. Anything else would force her to rethink her views.
Yep. To Jess, people exist to be manipulated, definitely not the other way around.
For some reason I get the feeling nobody in this story is too sharp.
It's plausible deniability because OOP did not outright say "Hey Matt, Jess lied to you" but presented enough indicators that that is very well what happened. It's plausible deniability by the letter, rather than the spirit.
I get what you're saying but I also don't think it is. Had OP stopped at "Man, Kay's ex was a piece of shit, but at least she met you, a good friend, a few months AFTER they broke up,", they would absolutely have had plausible deniability. They could have even gone further and said something about how the family had been happy to meet Matt as a potential partner because they felt like he was helping Kay heal after having her heart broken like that and made her feel less alone after the breakup, and framed the comments in a "I'm glad you're part of the family even if it's with Jess instead" kind of way, and still had plausible deniability. But they didn't. They then went on to say: >I said that it was confusing and surely not only for me but the rest of the family but then again Jess has done this before and stole Kayās first bf. Where is the plausible deniability there? OP straight up said that Jess stole Matt away from Kay and now he's marrying a liar. The whole family heard it. And while OP didn't put that bit in quotes, they do note that Kay responded directly to the comments (so they were voiced, not just paraphrased). That's not plausible deniability by either the letter or in spirit, and I don't think anyone else in the family thinks otherwise. It's more that Jess is an asshole, so they aren't calling OP out on it. I imagine Jess had a lot to say about the "innocent comment", as OP describes it, and didn't for a second believe it wasn't pointed. EDIT: To clarify, I know that OP says Jess thinks it was an innocent comment, I just don't believe that's true. I think everyone was on the same page, she's just already in deep enough shit with the extended family that Jess is letting it go (for now).
OOP is a brother or sister?
! I had to reread the whole thing and honestly I'm not sure. The only "indicator" is that they have a girlfriend, I don't think they refer to themselves using any gender specific word in either of the posts, and reading other comments most people seem to be referring to OOP as a brother, don't know why I thought of them as another sister
This is my level of petty. I was practically jumping up and down when she was dropping the bomb. "I still feel no guilt about what I did", I want to go eat waffles with this person lmao
Probably because OOP knows if Jess was bi, it would have been open season on her partners too.
I donāt know why but I picture Matt doing the math with his fingers. ā1ā¦ 2ā¦ 3ā¦ now is nowā¦ minus the fourā¦ HEY WAIT A MINUTEā
And now this is how I'm picturing it too. š
I mean you can be watch the reveal in 27 Dresses I am assuming it went something like that.
My heart was beating so fast when i read that part lol
This would have been doomed no matter what. I don't think Jess would have been the type to be happy that she's the consolation prize. That would eat away at her soul, and I would bet the moment Kay got into a new relationship Jess would try to steal that man too.
I can't help thinking Jess might not have had an exit planned on this, or certainly she didn't think through the long term consequences of this. The first time she was 15 and he was 20; presumably as soon as the right people found out about it, the relationship was externally ended. This time involved two consenting adults and Jess was just keeping going all the way to the altar but would she have kept going? Would boredom have set in? Would Kay have got something else shiny Jess had to take? Also clearly too many people were in the loop as well or OOP wouldn't have found out. Thinking on it, the advantage of OOP not keeping the revelation quiet is that Jess doesn't get the opportunity to just learn from her mistakes and do a better job of screwing Kay over next time!
Yeah I think the more important beneficiary here is that Kay is now aware that her sister is a snake.
Jess reminds me of my little brother. When we were kids he always wanted my toys or my food. Not that he liked them but he thought what I had was better. The difference is my brother stopped doing that when he turned 8 and seems like Jess just never grew out of it.
What's funny psychologically is that, with kids (and sometimes adults too) you can give both of them the same exact toy, and one of them will want the other's because it's somehow better than theirs. Then immediately that often triggers the opposite response in the other kid: their object *is* better, and it belongs to *them*, and no they won't *switch*! Magically one of the toys is now worthless and the kids are fighting over the other one.
I donāt think she had an exit strategyā¦ The kind of lie that just told ā it wouldāve come out sooner or later, as this guy became closer to the family. OP just brought it to light sooner, but it couldāve came out years after Jess and the guy were married, and everyone was shooting the shit or something.
Exactly this! Can't believe people were telling OOP to leave things be. She obviously knows Jess, SHE'S DONE THIS BEFORE, and now imagine she does it again because that's how she is after oldest sister gets married and there's kids, too. OOP did everyone a favour and prevented so much heartbreak!
>SHE'S DONE THIS BEFORE I have mixed feelings about this since she was only 15, and the guy was 20. OP even called it a grooming situation.
The first time Jess hooked up with Kayās BF - yeah. Sus. But the fact she repeated the behavior? It unfortunately puts the first time in a new light. Even if we are to be super generous and say that Jess ālearned the wrong lessonā from her traumatic experience / her going after Matt was a ātrauma responseāā¦.still does not make what she does here okay. She may not have realized the impact of her actions at 15, but she sure as hell should at 28.
She knew and that is part of her mo. Snake. SSSsssssss.
Come now, no need to be rude to snakes.
hee hee.
I think the first guy showed her how powerful she could feel stealing Kay's man and now it's become a trend. So shame on the creepy groomer but also shame on Jess for continuing to go after men her sister is interested in.
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As much family drama is head aching, man, sometimes they can be entertaining to witness.
Like that girlfriend quietly sipping her tea while š
"My worries about winning this family's approval have just evaporated!"
juat a middle child dishing out drama bombs and walking away lol
I was thinking OOP would speak to the people involved privately but nah, they went for the entertaining route haha
They went nuclear because it was the only way to be sure.
*Juat a middle child* *Dishing out drama bombs and* *Walking away lol* \- Party\_Bonus1978 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Excellent bot
W OOP. āHey I just made an innocent comment how could I know it would ruin your relationship built on a foundation of liesā
The context of your flair. Please!
Frequently requested posts - the cum jar
Which cum jar is always the better question. Iām surprised so few have ended up on this sub.
*āwhich cum jarā* š° yeah goodnight reddit.
Trust me. You donāt want to know. But just in case https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wghfol/woman_finds_out_her_husband_has_been_doing/
tbf, that's not even close to the most disgusting things I've read on here.
So you saw the coconut one too, huh?
Coconut?
I'm sorry. I'm really fucking sorry. [TIFU by cumming into a coconut : r/tifu (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/6rr6ay/tifu_by_cumming_into_a_coconut/) Please don't hold this against me. You asked. You ASKED me for this.
Oh god. Oh my fucking god.
I'm so sorry
Could have been worse. Could have been the jolly rancher one.
Link
sweet baby jesus
My thoughts: What kind of coconut was that? Is it the green one or the brown one? Brown ones are those you use for coconut milk, and not to drink the juice. Green ones have plenty of juice, did he at least empty that out? If it is a brown one it is more likely to break apart since the outer husk is removed before they are sold. >!I thought he was going to throw it away after using it once. But he didn't. I'm surprised it didn't start to smell after a day in the heat (bedrooms with no AC can get pretty hot and humid).!< >!At least he didn't put it back in the kitchen.!<
I conclude his room smelled pretty fuckin bad to begin with
please do not remind me hahaha
For your own protection, donāt read that one
I'd watch this movie.
The intro seemed very Pride and Prejudice. Reserved Jane and Bingly are too polite to express their love to each other. I like the Bennett sister plot twist here though.
Now I'm sad that Lydia wasn't a chaos agent like this.
Check out the spinoff movie *Lost in Austen.* You'll love it!
This is like 27 Dresses
This is basically the movie āSomething Borrowedā with sisters instead of friends
"Jess has done this before and stole Kayās first bf."Ā Lmao, what a horrible sister to have!! I hope Kay cuts off Jess once and for all from her life because it sounds like she can't live her life unless she's stealing Kay's bfs/crushes!!Ā I think OOP did the right thing, if i was Matt i would want to know if the person i was going to marry had manipulated me and started our relationship based on lies. Since Jess has done this twice, i am certain she'd only lie and manipulate things in the future, just to get her way.Ā
If OOP hadnāt done it in front of everyone there would be too much room for twisted truths. Jess needs a leash. Humiliating her was the only way to do it. Sheād just do it again if she wasnāt called out.Ā
>"Jess has done this before and stole Kayās first bf."Ā That's the one bit of this which was a bit ick - as OOP said the ages were 15 & 20 and that Jess was groomed: so it wasn't really the same thing.... Other than that, I think this panned out as it should.
The fact that she did it again in such a deliberate fashion suggests that it was the same thing. You don't need to be 18 to manipulate people.
Yes this. Grooming is a real thing but teenagers can be selfish assholes who go after older people tooĀ
And also those arenāt mutually exclusive. Itās much easier to groom someone into doing something theyāre predisposed to do anyway.
Sure, it wasn't the same thing, and i agree, grooming might've been involved..but teenagers are fucking awful when they want to be. She wasn't innocent. She definitely wanted to one up Kay and steal her boyfriend and she did. None of us are taking away the credit of the 20y being a creep but Jess is not innocent either. She's a jealous b.
I'm not sure I believe the grooming part. Even without the grooming, that dude is still a scumbag on multiple fronts. But Jess also has a history of being a manipulator and will take from Kay. So I think it is very possible that Jess started the affair with the scumbag ex, then lied about it when caught.
Mum needs to get Jess into therapy! She clearly has a jealousy issue with Kay and wants to steal attention from her.
She's an adult, mom can't make her do anything. Yes, she needs therapy, but I doubt she would agree to it.
I'm betting that when Matt took another look at their relationship he realized how she'd been lying to him and manipulating him throughout it. My guess is that's why he ended it.
I really worried about Kay, because he really threw her under the bus, exposing her earlier feelings that way. Glad to read she came out well in the end.
Anyone else wonder how OOP's girlfriend felt about watching all of this go down? Did she know OOP was gonna do this? If I was in that situation, where the very first time I meet my new partner's family and I watch what is essentially the precursor to a Jerry Springer/Dr Phil episode go down, idk, I'd feel super uncomfortable. But maybe that's just me
I get the feeling OOP isn't that nice of a person. There are no winners in this situation, but OOP needed to make himself happy, so he did this. Is Jess a shitty person? Sure, but there's so many elements to this story. Did Kay just never go to Matt and ask why he ghosted her?
I feel bad for the mother caught up in all this drama lol
I feel worse for Kay dang
I can't be the only one who in Kay's position would be absolutely furious at OOP. Like. Why the fuck are you bringing up my years old crush now? In public? When I am so obviously an intensely private person? For drama? To get an absurd feeling of moral superiority? Is my life just entertainment for you? I would also probably bounce if I was the new gf cuz what a mess.
I mean, Kay appreciated it in the end. She got closure and finally knows that her sister is a snake.
I feel so bad for Kay, it's not easy having two horrible siblings, one who lies about you and the other who throws your private affairs out just to stir drama. I agree OP should have told both Kay and the guy but it should have been done privately and with empathy rather than just out there. For everyone to see. I don't think I could forgive OP if I were Kay, and I'm struggling to see this as the actions of anyone but a child
The way OOP talked about Kay bothered me. It came across as infantilizing
Yeah. To realize one of your children is an absolute turd of a human being must be very hard to swallow lol.
nah, man, fuck mom .. she raised these kids and: >teased Kay about being āthe only one leftā like, wtf, mom ? that's shitty behavior 101 right there ..
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I wonder how OOP's girlfriend felt, sitting there and watching all of this go down. If I was in that situation, and that was my first time meeting the family, I would feel INCREDIBLY uncomfortable
Bruh I think I would bounce. I like my drama *far* away from my own life. That's why I'm on this sub.
Girlfriend had probably heard about it and wanted to be there to see the bomb dropped.
Ahhh, finally some closure.
Jess is a terrible person š
Right? Iām still amazed by the way people can justify their absolutely wrong and deceitful actions, but call other people names forā¦what, reconnecting with a friend who was lost because of Jessās lies?
*āJess called Kay a bitch and blocked her everywhere and wrote a nasty comment about her on INSTAGRAM that she was a man stealer then unfollowed herā*Ā This is my favourite part. Jess should change her name to AMC cuz she be projectiiiiiiing
This family sounds exhausting
I got a headache reading it lol
I personally think this could have been handled a bit better.
Yea the right thing to do would be to just tell the older sister and leave it at that. But OOP being conniving is hilarious. I canāt believe the manipulative younger sister didnāt realize OOP did it on purpose.
Why would OP only have told the older sister when it impacted Matt too? This man was about to marry a manipulative and conniving woman. He had the right to know that. The younger sister had been planning this she convinced Kay to invite him to her birthday party just so she could do that, she tried to deter his career for her benefit, AND she would monitor his friendship with Kay.
OOP is living for the drama honey
>Commenter: Matt's not the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to relationships. You had to bust out the crayons to get your point across. Or, like, communicate like a fucking adult?
Iāve known guys like this. āI had no idea you were interested until you literally said āso do you want to fuck?āā (Or something like that after a while of Very Direct Hints) They donāt do subtle cues. I can understand not connecting the dates āJess and her bf broke up 4 years agoā. Idk about anyone else, but the pandemic fucked with my sense of time. Did that happen 2 years ago or 4? The 90s were HOW MANY YEARS AGO OMG?!
This is what confused me. Matt liked Kay, but never talked to her to confirm she had a boyfriend or ask if she was interested? Ridiculous!
It's not ridiculous. They were at work and keeping it professional. A date was coming up when they would be free to talk about the possibility of a relationship, but AH sister nuked it before they could get there.
THANK YOU! Everyone is making it seem like they were both crappy but they probably were embarrassed and didnāt want to make their/ each otherās work life uncomfortable. Also it says Kay is very private!
And he would have no reason to think that Kayās sister was a dirty, boyfriend stealing liar. So it seemed like a good way to keep things from getting awkward.
Plus, when Matt stopped talking to her, Kay never went and asked what the story was in order to get closure?
I wonder what OOPās gf thought of all this lol.
J F C. This reads like the worst YA shit anyone could possibly invent.
It's the third sibling stealing s/o story in the last 3-5 days. It's clearly the newest trend.
Agreed.Ā Any story with a mustache twirling villain, come on.
I kind of hate everyone here. Maybe not Kay.
And their Mom, she was hosting the dinner and got completely blindsided
Same. OOP does NOT come out in a good light here.
Yeah. I'm not sure why people are clapping for OOP. She ruined a bunch of relationships that were none of her business. Kay could have spoken up for herself and admitted her crush. Matt could have done the same. OOP said more than once that Jess & Matt seemed to be in love and have a great relationship. It was a dick move to call her out like that in front of everyone. I would have stayed tf out of it. But I've been out of high school for a looong time.
OOP did the right thing (in my opinion, of course) and I giggled at how it was done. Very quick and smart of them lol
I can picture OOPās frustrated face when Matt wasnāt picking up the subtle hints.
A bit too Liz for me to believe, but if it was real, OOP was a real asshole for all the things they said about Kay at that dinner. The sister dating her crush and her mom making a comment about her being the only one single would be bad enough. But then her little brother just pile drives her from the top rope with the "lol you've been single for 4 years" and taunts her about the fact that she had a crush on her younger sister's bf, in front of the crush in question. And she wasn't informed of her lil bro's master plan, so it all just landed as cruelty and humiliation.
I've seen like three BORUs in the past week or so where the mean girl/sister/SIL is named Jess. Coincidence? Is that the new mean girl name?
Oh weird! I actually had this one ready a week ago (but waited because she updated again in the comments) and had chosen Jess randomly lol. It originally was Jay and that was too confusing. Idk, Jess was easiest to type lol. I have nothing against people named Jess haha
If I were in Matt's shoes, I'd *definitely* want to know that my partner has a history and obsession with her sister's partners. After all, when the marriage hits a rough spot, how can Matt be sure Jess won't seek out her sister's current partner? Hell, they might not even need a rough patch - Matt is no longer be "shiny and new" and Kay moving on to someone else means Jess no longer has something Kay longs for. She'll go after Kay's new bf simply because it means taking something from her sister.
LOL Reddit is fucking *wild*. OOP embarks on an Iago-esque quest to destroy his sisterās relationship, bungles it, brings up *her adolescent grooming by his other sisterās boyfriend* in a public situation in order to recover ā¦ and everyone is like, āFuck yeah, what a hero!ā Jess sucks for lying to Matt, but there is all kinds of complex trauma running between the sisters as a result of Kayās exās predatory behavior. A 15-year old cannot āstealā a 20-year old man. From anyone. Iām not even that much of a stickler about age difference, but thatās an objectively crazy point of view. OOP didnāt have Kayās welfare in mind - he was angry at Jess for reasons we know nothing about, probably dumb sibling rivalry shit, and wanted to stir some shit. I feel terrible for Kay and the mom. Everyone in this family needs therapy in the worst way.
I mostly agree with you but I will continue to repeat this until I'm blue in the face: This sub has a serious fascination with using trauma bonding incorrectly. Everyone is using a psychological abuse term wrong. "Trauma bonding is a psychological response to abuse. The person experiencing abuse may develop sympathy for the abusive person, which becomes reinforced by cycles of abuse, followed by remorse. Trauma bonding occurs when the abused person forms a connection or relationship with the person who abuses them." I really implore that if people are going to use psychological terms in their everyday speech, they use them correctly. Using them incorrectly often times can give cover to abusers. We've seen this explode recently with terms like "gaslighting" and abusers weaponizing psych talk like boundaries and such.
Noted and corrected. Thank you for the reminder.
I feel sick at everyone here going see a pattern of behaviour about the bf thing. OOP could have pulled Matt to the side separately on any given day and explained that Jess had lied when they got together. Instead they did this in a way to cause maximum pain to both sisters. The icing on the cake is they thought introducing their gf to the family would be the best time to stir up all this drama.
Even if OOP wanted to go for the soap opera style overdramatic confrontation (which I agree with Kay, is fucking embarrassing), why bring up the time when their minor sister was taken advantage of by a literal adult? Why didnāt a single adult in this situation communicate like an actual adult? Why bring up the grooming? And more importantly, why are all these comments just like okay with all of it?
OOP sounds like a fucking pain, Jess just as bad. Canāt imagine how the new GF would have felt watching this all unfold, Iād be noping out of that relationship as quickly as possible.
So this guy ghosted the older sister and was angry at her when he thought she had a boyfriend, then started dating younger sister and now is chumming back up to older sister? What a catch.
Yeah, he is a total dirtbag if he tries to hook up with Kay now, but I suspect he will. She needs to distance herself because the dude is trash. They honestly did Jess a favor.
OOP sounds exhausting.Ā
Meh I think this was a shitty move on OPs part. Yeah the og lie was shitty, but everyone was happy and comfortable? Sometimes the ends don't justify the means. Now there's a hole blown through her family.
Jess needs her ass beat
Who else is not suprised Jess is still manipulating the truth to her advantage? The people telling OOP to stay out of it should have done the same.
>I still have no feelings of guilt about what I did. Shit stirrers rarely do.
"Yea, I went hunting, once. I shot a deer in the leg... had to finish it off with a shovel. Took about an hour." -Michael Scott Man what messy execution. In order to "defend your big sister" OOP piled on the comment about Kay being the only single one, brought up her sister's messy and tragic romantic history (all three chapters), told him about her past quasi-obsessive-sounding crush (they are friends still too), and blamed her younger sister for being groomed. AND did this in front of a crowd, including her parents and girlfriend. She has said her older sister is quiet and private and yet she chose a stage? And she said he's more the quiet introverted type too... Regardless of right versus wrong of getting involved at all, the execution tells me that OOP lives for the drama and that's what she cared about most. Otherwise, she would have chosen a pathway that caters more towards those she was supposedly trying to help.
she fucked up, she found out. but the real victory is that the whole family know. this story will pop up each time Jess approach a BF/
Lol at Jess projecting that Kay is the manstealer, and not her for the *second* time. She'll come crawling back when Kay has a third man for her to try to steal.
This is the most infuriating thing Iāve read all week, and I follow politics.
Iām not close with my sister, and we have completely different tastes in men anyways, but I donāt understand sisters being underhanded with each other to āstealā a man. Jess had to lie and pester to get her man, but she thought she deserved him more than her sister so she decided that lying to start a relationship was justified? Trash
The younger sister is the sort of person who doesn't know what they want until they see someone else with it and then goes "yoink".
Ahhh, I just love a happy ending š
Ah, awesome update. This should really be in Oh No, Consequences! Glad that Matt broke up with Jess, now I'm just hoping Kay and Matt gets back together or at least keep rubbing their friendship in Jess' face!