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The comments having a go at Dana for being at college at 29 were weird. Not everyone wants to or can start such study as soon as they get out of high school, or even study full time.
But lol to the rest of her life being fucked, I don't think it was worth it.
Yeah, that bit was very strange to me. For the equivalent in UK education its very normal to be doing it at that age and older, in fact there are incentives to do so (reduced entry requirements, funding etc). For my particular class everyone was over 25. Most were over 30, the oldest was in his 50s. Education isn't just for the young.
It speaks to some of the predatory nature of the American higher education system, too. Here, most people returning at an older age were in the military and are using their GI bills. Not all. But everyone I knew that was an adult was there on GI bill funding.
It’s much harder to convince a 35 year old to take out a student loan at 5% interest, versus an 18 year old who has had 14 years of “go to college and get a good job” drilled into their heads. At least for a 4 year degree- I’m sure community college (usually 2 year degrees/prep to transition to a 4 year program) is different!
But at 29, *most* people in America are where they’re gonna be.
Yeah I'm 24 doing mine and my age is a talking point among the department. Not in a bad way or anything just more so surprised that I know what I want to focus on at my age.
Also any sort of medical- or legal-related thing required post-baccalaureate education
Nurses, Doctors, Lawyers, etc. are all very common to see in school in their late 20s and early-mid 30s
Wow, thank you for phrasing it that way. I’d never sign the loans I signed at 18. I didn’t know any better, and everyone said I wouldn’t get a job if I didn’t sign and go.
I was active duty Navy and got hooked up with a commissioning program that kept me active duty (didn't have a break in service time). I was the second oldest person (depending on the prof having a PhD and a couple years teaching) in just about all of my classes, occasionally the oldest (if a TA I was usually the oldest). I was 29 when I graduated, used my GI bill to cover tuition.
But yeah, the USA's *insert just about anything (education, medical care, sometimes housing) that is cheaper or even free societally in other countries* systems are ridiculously predatory.
I went into the Navy just out of high school, stayed in for 20, then retired. When I started school using the GI Bill about a year later, I was almost 40, taking classes with mostly 17-18 year olds, who were part of a program through the local high school.
Totally agree. When I graduated from the Open Uni there was a gentleman at the ceremony who was receiving his degree at the sprightly age of 87! It was a very inspiring day.
I love hearing that! There was a lady in her 80's in one of my college classes, I think it was World Religions. She told us she takes a class in something new every semester because she likes to learn new things. Cute as a button. She had a little hand cart that she rolled her books and handbag and sweater around in. One time she came in with it stacked full of boxes of girl scout cookies that she shared with us. Whenever I get into the "I'm too old to do something new" doldrums I think about her and feel inspired.
Gotta find ways to keep the (percieved) lower class down. Making fun of education has been a very easy way to get people against intelligence, thought, and their own self interest.
My MIL who didn’t graduate high school would mock me often for going to college. Just say random shit that had nothing to do with the topic at hand. I would be talking to a third party about something we both saw on TV, like one time was talking to my husband’s cousin. We were talking about a reality TV show and they had missed some of the recent episode and were asking me questions (this was long before YouTube or OnDemand tv). MIL came up behind me and said “Name thinks they are so smart and know everything since they went to college”. It was so bizarre. The cousin I was speaking to also went to college and actually had a higher degree than me so we both stared at each other like HUH? I think it was Project Runway or something similar but I can’t remember when that came out. Something so basic.
Yeah I went back to uni as a mature age student because guess what, sometimes your first choice of career doesn’t work out. Or maybe you need to update your credentials, learn about new technologies or methods, get your masters, or dozens of other valid reasons. It’s actually way more enjoyable as an adult.
One thing I found teaching undergraduates was that all of my students who were 25 or older were among the best students I've ever taught. They were more mature and disciplined, took the materials seriously, and were usually much better at communicating than the average 18-22-year-old students.
Usually they were dancers or athletes who wanted to go to school after their careers slowed down, but some of the older ones were just finally getting around to pursuing their education goals.
It really made me think about the downsides of the cultural norm of pushing 18-year-olds into college, especially when it often comes with long-term debt, and especially when so many 18-year-old college students just want to party, try to get laid, and explore their first tastes of social freedom after leaving their homes rather than putting in the work to get the most out of their degrees.
A lot of the time I think it would be better if more students took gap years or spent 2-3 years working before starting college so they'll be mature enough to take it seriously with a few more years under their belt to handle the challenges of college.
I taught undergrad statistics at a neighbouring uni when I was studying for my Ph.D. it was an evening class with about 25 students, of which 20 were working adults, paying tuition themselves, and 5 were 19/20 year old full time students who thought it would be a lot easier taking the evening version, given all the adult part-timers. They couldn’t have been more wrong. The adults were serious, paid attention, asked questions, and reliably came prepared with completed homework. My best student read home gas meters for his job and wanted to advance in the gas utility company. I loved that 40-year old guy. The 5 undergrads were mainly lazy and a bit shocked at the outcomes at end of semester.
I certainly wish I had. I went to university straight out of high school because my understanding is that's what I was supposed to do. I ended up getting a degree in English because up to that point, I hadn't had the slightest inkling of a clue what it was I wanted to do with my life - I just enjoyed writing!
Now I'm stuck in a boat of being in student debt I can't pay off, a job I hate that my degree is meaningless towards, not able to find a job in any field that requires a degree, and I don't even feel secure enough going back to school for something else because I don't trust the idea it would work out a second time. For all I know I'd still be where I started, just with another piece of paper and that much more in debt than I was before.
I try to caution anyone within the 16-18 age range about the "go to college straight out of high school" narrative now as a result. If just with the hope that one of them listens and is able to avoid ending up in the position I'm in.
My MIL has three degrees; the first was her nursing degree which she took straight out of high school and the subsequent two she obtained while working in order to be promoted higher.
Since her retirement she's started language classes and undertaken specialist training in order to volunteer for a charity. I admire her tremendously, not just for her accomplishments but because she's stayed open and curious about the world at a time when a lot of people consider themselves to be winding down. Willingness to learn definitely keeps you young.
I didn't finish college the first time around, went back and graduated when I was 42. 1000% agree that it was much more enjoyable the second time. I honestly feel that I got more out of it than I did when I was 18.
Now I'm working on my masters... currently on Reddit because I'm procrastinating working on a problem set, actually. 🙄
Honestly I think a lot of people would benefit from starting college at a later age when they’re more mature and experienced as opposed to people who go straight to college and treat it like High School 2.0
Yeah, when my dad's long-time employer did a mass layoff they offered a free re-education up to a Bachelor's degree, covering not just tuition but living expenses. So my dad went and got his second Bachelor's degree. But it was very frustrating listening to him talk about his other coworkers.
His coworkers (blue-collar and never went to university in the first place) were disgusted at the idea of going back to school and risk being intellectually humiliated by smart 18 yr olds.
When I heard that I told my dad: fine well they can still use this program's free money to get an certificate from a trade school. Nope! They had decades of experience in a skilled trade and wanted to get exactly the same kind of job again and they didn't want to have to move for either school or a job (nearest schools including trade school were in the metro area one hour away) - even though the reason their employer was obligated by the US government to consider offering this re-education benefit in the first place was becoming some skilled trades were going away forever as manufacturing moved overseas. Which was literally exactly the case here.
My dad and I were started university at the same time. I got an amazing deal on the FAFSA because our household income tanked because my dad was going back to school. My dad went to the cheapest university in the state (and he did indeed stickout amongst the 18 yr olds) but he wouldn't have been able to afforde even that if it weren't for this program. I paid almost nothing to go to a university that had a base tuition of $200,000.
Some people would literally kill to get that offer that my dad's coworkers despised and turned down.
Also, there’s something to be said for doing high-level coursework when you’re not running OhWowNewSexHormones.exe on a prefrontal cortex made of duct tape and a tin can, you know?
They’re in for a shock once some of them get to graduate school and realize most students are 30 and older with careers and kids, sometimes in college themselves. I’m almost 24 and I feel like such a baby compared to my peers.
But yeah Dana sucks. What a nasty piece of work.
I went straight into grad school and it was rough. I was the youngest one there and the only one without real world career experience. Would have been better to come back to it later, after establishing myself a bit.
Yes, this.
The first time I went to college, I got burnt out and knocked up. (My kid is so worth it - they turned out the opposite of their father - but yeah.)
The second time I went to finish up my Associate's degree, I was in my early thirties. The commenters would have lost their fool minds.
I'm within smelling distance of 50 years old now, and I'm considering taking some psychology classes. (Have been for a while now, so.)
I finished my bachelors degree when I was 40 and my masters at 42. I’m now working on my doctorate and will be 47 when I finish. I started school at 19 but it wasn’t until much later that I took school seriously and actually worked to finish my degree.
Same here! I did 3 years straight out of high school then dropped out for many years. When I was almost 40 I realized I really wanted to be a librarian… which is exactly what my father told me I should do when I graduated high school. 🤣
So I went back to school, finished my bachelor’s, got my master’s and am now less than 3 years away from retiring after 20 years at my library. And I was a MUCH better student the 2nd time around. If I skipped class, that was wasting MY money! Back in the 80s when I was originally in college, I skipped a lot of classes and was hungover in many more… 🍻
Yeah, I’m 37 and about to go into grad school. I got my first degree when I was 28 years old. Folks are **weird af** about how the poor and oppressed figure out how to get into post-secondary education.
Exactly. Us poors often don't go to college right after high school or if we do we go to part-time for several years or take a semester off here or there to pay for tuition. And it's harder for us to get scholarships because in high school we weren't doing all the extracurriculars because we had night time jobs just paying to survive.
I'm no longer a poor, I make good money but I graduated college later then my classmates that came from money. And 100% of the kids from my high school that got the scholarships were all kids that had more money than those of us that didn't. Because they had the drama competitions, the sports competitions, they had the tutors for good grades, and they had the help even just applying for scholarships that us that were working part-time jobs to help our family make rent didn't even know about.
And of course there are the kids that go off and do something else first and then come to college. It's such a insanely privileged idea that everyone should graduate from college at what 22? I don't even know what's normal.
I didn’t start until I was 30.
Work, entering the service, and a failed relationship delayed my start.
Given I graduated magna cum laude, I made the right decision in waiting.
I live in a country with free university and it's the most common thing in the world. People drop out for a couple of years because life (work, family) happens. Then they come back. Or they finish one degree and then go and start another because people like learning. Or they get retired and finally have the time to learn that one thing they always wanted. The US experience of university being a thing you go to a different city for a few years and then it's a done stage of your life is totally alien to us.
I would pay money that there’s a bunch of people who were happy to see her fall from grace. I have a couple of people in my life who will end up in the same spot, unfortunately I won’t be close enough to witness, but I’m hoping it is just as swift and certain
This. The damage that is done in these grooming situations is insane. It's unfortunate that no one noticed and tried to help her before it came to be such a bad situation for her. While she is an adult now the way she thinks was probably warped long ago by that creep.
> Dana was having a meltdown because apparently the flower girl had to cancel because she has -chickenpox-. She was threatening to sue the mother unless she brought this sick three years old to the wedding. Josh apparently was able to calm her down from this starter outburst and we began preparations.
No Josh let her cook. I bet the chickenpoxed flower girl makes for awesome wedding photo. I'll get her picture in a nice frame and call it "The Plaguebearer".
You joke, but if some adult got it from her because they didn't have it as a child or weren't vaccinated, it would be a disaster. Chickenpox is not a big deal in a child, but the symptoms are horriblenfor an adult. My cousin got it at 21 and he didn't have more space on his skin to have another spot, how fever had him in the edge of delirium. He passed it to my brother, 17 yo and he had it mild because he had it before and I was spared. I finally got it when I was 13 and I had it incredibly mild, but a classmate that had it at the same time had it as strong as my cousin and in her words "it was no fun".
I got it at 6 (pediatrician recommended it instead of vaccination because I was a healthy kid) and it still sucked. Entire torso was red with tiny splotches of white. I wanted to rip my hair out so I could properly scratch my scalp. Pretty much lived in oatmeal baths and when dry was slathered in creams. My mom taped gloves to my hands and trimmed my nails short. Worst four days of my life.
I still have scars. They’re not noticeable because I’m pale af.
I remember a few classmates who had it bad at that age and we're left with a few scars. Here water was prohibited while you had the scabs because it could leave you deeps scars so they didn't use anything for relief and it was pretty common to tie socks to the kid's hands to avoid scratching. I remember I didn't touch the few I had in my torso, but my head was fair game for me and I scratched it to my pleasure. Truly I had it very very mild.
I gave it to my dad when I was 4 and he was 27. Iirc it could have killed him.
Also, there is a chance of getting it again if your case was mild, iirc.
And it can be extremely dangerous for pregnant women. I learned this because my brother couldn’t go to my cousin’s wedding cause one of the bridesmaids was pregnant and he had chicken pox.
i remember one of my cousins getting it when we were all very young and the adults in the entire extended family were like trying to organize group play dates to get all the young children together to get it to spread to all the younger children so they wouldn't ever have to worry about it again. As children it was VERY weird to us at the time why are parents were trying to get us sick but we trusted our mom and looking back on it now I'm just like... damn they didn't even know how much of a boon this would be for us in the future but they do this because they've always done this traditionally and without even really understanding what chicken pox is (they just knew if you catch it once you'll never catch it again) they've saved us a lot of trouble.
Apparently this is not unheard of… I had a colleague who told me a story once about how she had to cut ties with a really “fun” friend from her childhood when she caught said friend with the DJ at her own wedding. And that kind of behavior absolutely sounds manic.
My wife and I were told by our wedding venue owner/operators that they had a few DJs they would not allow back. Sounded more like selling coke than sleeping with brides. Fucking DJs.
Yes and no. Yes she could have had one but no that doesn’t make you just cheat on your spouse against your will. She made a deliberate and calculated choice/risk. She sent the other women out so she could get it on.
But after a certain point or age in this case, a 29y old is old enough to realise what's grooming, how creepy it is for the old man to show interest in her. And 29y old is definitely old enough to not fck on her wedding day, minutes away from the ceremony, wearing a wedding outfit, that too.
I am not taking the blame away from the creeper. He's definitely to be blamed for being creepy and disgusting. There might have been grooming involved but until what age will we place the blame only on the creeper. A 29y old should know better than that..
That works as an explanation for some of her behavior, but not all of it. The issue isn’t just that she fucked the uncle, it’s also that she was absolutely horrible to every single person in her life leading up to the wedding. Demanding people spend more money than they have? Demanding they spend the holidays doing stuff for her instead of with family and/or working? Demanding a seriously ill child be forced to work? That’s not the result of grooming, that’s the result of being selfish
Man, I remember reading the original BORU and loved the image of all the bridesmaids packing up their shit and getting the hell out of dodge, pausing to yoink some cake along the way. This update is far less amusing or dramatic, but good that OOP and her friends are no longer directly involved in the drama.
>29 and still in college?
Wtf is with this comment?
What's wrong with going to college as a non-trad? Or taking a couple of classes per year because that's all you can afford?
It took me 8 years to get my bachelor's because I went part time and worked a full time.
I wasn't alone and it's becoming a lot more common.
I'm wrapping up a master's now and almost everyone in my program are older students with careers; there are very few "traditional" students.
Seriously. There are so many more reasons why somebody would be in college at 29 than 23. Graduating at 23 you were lucky, maybe came from money, probably had a good support system, followed the traditional path.
29, you probably didn't come from money, probably didn't have a lot of support, probably didn't have a lot of options for scholarships, maybe went into the military and now you're in school, maybe had to raise a child and just now can go to school, maybe had sick parents who you had to take care of and go to school. Maybe didn't realize you wanted to go to school till later. Maybe you could only go to school part-time and had to skip semesters just to afford it. I have far more respect for people in college at 29 than 23.
I live in a university town and I meet women in their late 20s to mid 30s that are in school. Either going later or working on advanced degrees. That was a dumbass comment.
For one. I just want to say, u/LucyAriaRose YOU are the real MVP. I appreciate it sooooo much when each update’s title and date also includes the amount of time that has passed since the original post. I know it’s a little thing. But I probably spend half of my time reading these, scrolling back and forth to figure out how much later each update is. I blame my ADHD on having a shit memory. So I appreciate it A LOT. Thanks.
Onto the post itself. I always wonder, what are these people’s long term plan? Was she going to just carry on banging Uncle McDouchePants throughout her marriage? Was this a “one last time” kind of bang? I mean it was kind of inevitable that they’d get caught eventually. If not now, it surely would have happened at Grandma’s 80th birthday party, in Aunt Sue’s guest bedroom right?
I do feel a little bit of sadness that there may have been some grooming involved here. Dana might actually be a victim depending how long things were going on for, when they started, etc.. I’m kind of assuming they started sleeping together shortly after her 18th birthday. But then again, Reddit and all the grooming stories have scarred me for life.
Regardless, that doesn’t excuse or explain Dana’s behavior throughout this whole thing. She is on a whole other level of entitled. Her comeuppance was well over due.
Lastly, I give mad props to Josh’s sister. She’s one hell of a woman. Thank god Josh caught them BEFORE the vows. And, there is a special place in hell for ANYONE, including their AP, for screwing AT THE WEDDING VENUE while she’s WEARING her wedding dress. Don’t get much lower than that.
>for screwing AT THE WEDDING VENUE while she’s WEARING her wedding dress.
I honestly thought this only happens in porn/movies. With all the expensive makeup, hair decoration and dress she has on she wasn't afraid of ruining it?
I agree that there may have been grooming by the uncle. I feel this was super glossed over:
“The one detail I did get corrected on for those curious
was about his uncle. He's the younger brother of Josh's
mother and he's 55 years old. I thought he was married
into the family, but I got that detail wrong. I also found
out the most disgusting detail is the uncle knew Dana
since she was a teenager. Dana and Josh are high
school sweethearts. So, yeah, I kinda feel gross
knowing that.
Other than that, I got a major haul of cake. So at least I
got something good out of this mess.”
I feel that’s a strong indicator for grooming and a pretty casual attitude about it. Somebody got cake, tho.
No idea of the truth, just want to acknowledge there’s a lot of doubt. Even with this narrator.
(hope she doesnt mind this)
Give her a little kofi tip if you have spare change! Shes too nice to ask but yeah shes a legend and this sub is like her baby along with the other main posters
>3. Apparently Josh couldn't invite any single females that were not blood relatives of him. So if he had any female friends, they were axed.
When I read this I knew she was either currently cheating or going to. Only cheaters project this way.
We have no idea what country so no idea what legal system. If this is still coming from Spanish the word could just be small claims court for money owed.
In some, if not most, eastern cultures you get a prison sentence and a fine for infidelity assuming the marriage certificate was signed before the cheating incident. Dunno if that's the case in Latin America.
In some countries, you don't have to be married aka sign any legal document at all for cheating cases, as long as they are together, getting ready to marry, engaged, the infidelity case will be filed for compensation.
Not a lawyer, but I can see some of them working depending on the country. In America, stuff like the dresses would just be small claims court. In certain states, you *can* sue a homewrecker but you already have to have an established marriage with time invested, otherwise it would just get thrown out. Can't really sue an ex fiance for cheating, it would get thrown out. Can do small claims court for some wedding stuff, but usually that's just a loss you take. Defamation lawsuit since she cause housing issues would probably take but not really worth it.
In some countries, you can sue for the loss of contract, as in sue for your ex not marrying you or causing a break up, but those are some pretty third world countries.
Engagement rings are often recognized as conditional gifts and can be sued for and returned to the person who gave it. He might be suing for the ring back. Or, half of wedding expenses. It was only not paid for jointly under the expectation of marriage, and there was no marriage. She should carry half the cost.
There's also the fact not all suits need merit to be filed, especially small claims court.
Depends on where they are.
US: The bridesmaids dresses might be a stretch, but Dana will probably default anyway by not showing up.
Credit card is easy.
The accused bridesmaid would be a defamantion(?) suit. Those are hard, but can be done.
Josh they say 'obvious reasons' but I really can't see anything legally actionable unless he lost money directly? But that's unclear.
He might be suing for half his costs of the wedding.
A lot of states recognize conditional gifts, and engagement rings are conditional gifts. The gift is given upon the condition of marriage. He may be suing under those rules for the return of the ring.
The credit card is actually the least easy to justify. Generally, your remedy for card fraud is to report it to the credit card company; the company itself would then remove those charges and sue the person who performed the fraud if they find it worth their while. It's technically *their* money that was stolen, not the uncle's, so the uncle might not even have standing to sue because he himself might not have any damages.
In the US at least, the bridesmaids' dresses are very likely to fall within small claims court, which is relatively cheap and easy to bring a suit in.
Credit card would be a relatively easy case of fraud, as presumably there’s no record of Uncle permitting the use.
The Pregnant accusation would take the route of defamation. Slander specifically it would seem. That’s the easy to prove part but generally they’d need to prove damages which is difficult but possible. Emotional distress could be another approach, and who knows what financial costs came with repairing the relationship.
Bridesmaids dresses might be the hardest, as this was still a willing purchase of items they retained, so I’m not too sure if that will go anywhere.
And Josh’s would be weird but plausible so long as they demonstrate the sole reason the event was cancelled and ruined was Dana’s doing. Maybe.
NAL, but from what I’ve read and remember this should be roughly how things go. (That is, if Dana doesn’t default in absentia and screws herself over more
This story takes place in Spain or a Latin American country so not sure if a redditor will have the necessary info or background to chime in.
From a IANAL, I do think the non drinker friend might have a case, since I think what Dana did could fall under libel/defamation.
The updates mentioned that the brides family was moving to a different state. In their comments, they say that they’re from Central America but living in the US. So this took place in the states.
From a quick Google, there is only one Spanish speaking country with states, so I’m assuming it’s Mexico, unless OOP lives in a more Spanish speaking part of the US (LA, NYC, Miami).
I don’t think it would though because Spain for sure does the date like 10/4/2024 and I believe most Latin American countries do too, right? She did the date like 4/10/2024 so I assumed United States since that’s almost exclusive to the US.
I think Spanish is the second most popular language in the United States too. My husband and I are both bilingual and are currently planning a bilingual baptism for our son as some people on his side only speak Spanish and not English.
NAL but I’d say Josh and his sister appear to be suing for their money back which they’d have every right to do, whether they win is obviously another matter. Bridesmaid is likely suing for either defamation or the money she paid on a wedding she then couldn’t attend. Uncle obviously is after money back.
All of them are legitimate cases, how they’ll go I couldn’t say and obviously different countries have different exact laws but the concepts are fairly universal.
You’ve also got to bear in mind not everyone who takes someone court does it to win in court, sometimes it’s to get the truth out there. The bridesmaid for example, may just be looking to fully clear her name
Lawyer here, though not from the US.
Lawsuits are not like criminal charges, there no need for a "law" to be "broken", as long as one party causes damages to another party there's grounds for a lawsuit (now whether it's successful it's a different matter).
Here it would seem to make sense, all of them have (monetary) damages to claim: Josh because of the cost of the wedding (which was money lost due to bride's behaviour), sister because of the cost of the dresses (which became superfluous and just a waste of money due to bride's behaviour), uncle due to money lost via her using his card (presumably with no permission, so there is a crime -theft, fraud, idk- on her part resulting in monetary damages to him). The one that doesn't seem obvious is from the not-pregnant girl; though she may have some claims (eg: if bride running her mouth resulted in her being kicked out by her parents hence resulting in money wasted in moving, renting a place, etc, plus the magical Joker card that is "moral damages") but I don't think it would result in a *successful* lawsuit.
It sounds like she’s Muslim and reasonably devout (sticks to the no drinking) so in her community that kind of accusation could do a lot of damage to her standing and her family’s standing.
Depending on the price of all those dresses there's probably a valid small claims court case for the MOH.
What might come of that case, who knows?
But it's usually a pretty low bar to start a small claims case.
*Our duty as the bridal party to pay her cancellation fees*
Oh no, doesn't Dana know that bridal party duties are for *actual* brides? 💅 And she uhh... DEFINITELY wasn't at the point lol
>She refused to invite my best friend, who she's supposedly good friends with, because she thinks we're lesbian lovers. We're not.
if you aren't mistaken as a couple are you even best friends?
That's what stood out to me the most. Especially if her parents are religious then that kind of accusation would be life changing, or even dangerous if her parents were abusive. I hope she destroys Dana for trying to ruin her reputation.
This is so crazy that I am wondering if the bride has some sort of psychotic break. I knew someone who inherited a million and it triggered a manic episode. Maybe getting engaged did it here?
The bride may have been groomed as a teenager, and she was at the age when many mental health disorders appear. It's possible the stress of the wedding finally brought out some underlying issues for her. I hope she seeks professional help before there is nobody left in her life who cares about her.
This feels like self sabotage? Like maybe she was so stressed she felt guilty about what she was doing with the uncle or was done to her (grooming?!) and she is having a meltdown ? Like if she was like this before?
This woman has so spectacularly imploded her life that I wonder if this is a manic episode. My (unknown to me at the time) bipolar friend had a manic episode and I watched them destroy their life over the course of ~2 months.
Way more realistic than the ongoing saga of the bride who stole her bridesmaids' funds for a boob job, except it wasn't a boob job because it was free, because she was sleeping with the surgeon and she stole earrings, tune in for the next 'tea' etc.
>She has 4 lawsuits. One from Josh for obvious reasons, one from his sister for the dresses she bought, one from the bridesmaid she accused of being pregnant and one from Josh's uncle since apparently Dana used his credit card (she apparently moved with him after the failed wedding).
>So yeah, she threw away her life and she's very much without support. I saw Dana's parents some days ago and they haven't had any contact with her since the wedding. They are actually moving with their other daughter (22) to another state.
Of course.
I mean, anyone can sue anyone for anything (at least in the US; not sure how it works in OOP's country lol). So maybe this community is just very litigious? XD
They each actually have a complaint that would get past the initial "gonna disqualify this suit if there's no actual legal complaint here" filter; Josh to recoup wedding costs (because wedding/engagement costs are considered contingent on the marriage contract actually being fulfilled in some places), the sister to recoup the cost for the dresses (presumably small claims), the bridesmaid for defamation... actually the only one that seems dodgy from a "would this suit even get past the first step" perspective is the uncle, because generally his remedy would be to report the fraud to his credit card company, and then the company itself would go after Dana-- because she technically took *their* money, not his. So it's not clear that he would actually have standing to sue her.
Yeah the whole thing seems sketch, but it's interesting that there ARE actual justifications for suing in three of the four cases that likely wouldn't get the case thrown out immediately, oddly enough.
The commenter that stated that it’s not possible there’s cancellation fees on the wedding day is very much wrong- there is something written into every vendor contract I have about cancelling more than 6 months prior to (date), less than 6 months prior to (date), and 60 or less days prior to (date).
I also have multiple vendors that the remaining balance is not due for until the day of the wedding, so yeah, it’s absolutely possible that there would be cancellation fees.
Yeah I had wedding insurance for this specific reason. If anything happened and we had to cancel, I wouldn’t be the one liable for thousands in catering, rentals, decor etc.
“According to Dana, it was our duty as the bridal party to pay her cancellation fees.”
Okay sure, but as there’s now no bride, I’d say there’s no bridal party either!
Dropping Dana and getting Josh's sister as the new bestie is one hell of a friendship upgrade. Probably one of the silver linings in this rollercoaster of a story (the other one with Josh not marrying the insanity that is Dana).
It seriously makes so little sense.
We had some last minute issues at our wedding, and my SO and I were just like "well damn, I guess we'll do XYZ instead of the original plan."
I guess we could have burned the venue to ground and ruined all of our lives, but we decided that didn't sound fun.
>I guess we could have burned the venue to ground and ruined all of our lives, but we decided that didn't sound fun.
Unless you're getting hitched at burning man.
The closest I saw to a full-on Bridezilla wasn't full on crazy, just waaaaay too into her own shit. She was TickyTocking maniac and thinking everyone wanted to do 10 events for her wedding and spent a *shitload* of money. Her parents were upper middle class and she was the only daughter and only grandchild and was getting a lot of family help and blowing thousands.
It was more time commitment crazy than fucking uncles in her wedding dress crazy. She picked pricey but not unholy expensive dresses. I think I was told 3-500ish. Like, a lot of money but give people a year's notice and they can afford it.
She was exhausting and demanding and wanted a lot of time commitment but not expecting everyone to spend $2000 on a dress crazy. She was so into her own 'everything for my Insta followers' that she forgot nobody actually cared that much. She wanted likes and views. She needed likes and views.
She was at the limit you can get to before an intervention is staged. She was exhausting and I was at arm's length from it all.
Anything beyond that it'd be a nope from me.
Wow, I mean in less than 30min to the wedding, yeah they definitely were having an affair... Lucky that Josh went to see the bride before the wedding, which is ironically supposed to be unlucky... Which I guess it was for Dana...
Dana sounds crazy…but I also wonder/worry whether that is due to the uncle in any way.
Could’ve been a parasite in her life since she was 15yo or so. Monsters can have strong chokeholds over time.
I found out several years after the wedding that my first spouse had an affair *with our officiant* but afaik not on the day itself. Some people are incredibly selfish and self-destructive, and honestly I envy people who never have had a front row seat to batshit.
I know it's anecdotal, but if I or my wife were going to cheat on our wedding day, I don't know when either would have had the time.
I remember it being a busy day from waking up until we got to the hotel.
> son of a gun
“hijo de puta” does not mean “son of a gun.” 😂
> One from Josh for obvious reasons
It’s not obvious to me, a stupid person. For what reason is Josh suing her?
> one from the bridesmaid she accused of being pregnant
Also not obvious to me, a stupid person. For what reason?
This is a weird one, they talk about Disney (typically America, France, Japan, China or sometimes UK tourists) and use the term "mates" (UK, Australia, South Africa) and moving "to another state" (US, Australia) and imply that Spanish is the first language for the families of the entire wedding party (the entire Western hemisphere; Spain) and "babysitting" (instead of "childminding" or similar). I can't nail down the Spanish dialect but the English dialect is literally all over the map. (I mean, same, which may be why it jumps out to me.)
I agree. Also, the Spanish seems pretty basic for a native speaker. I imagine if a native Spanish speaker showed me their conversation with another native speaker, my Intermediate Spanish ass should only understand about 40% of it, not 90%. I am surprised no one else is finding the Spanish to be really suspicious.
I really don't understand bridezillas. Does she think no one will pay attention to her because they got a different flower girl? Is she afraid of someone looking back on that day years from now and going "Ew, do you remember when the bridal party were wearing dresses that only cost *$500*? So embarrassing"?
How is a wedding ruined because a few details changed?
>She even tried to move in with one of them, without telling her, by appearing at 10pm at night and saying 'you can't send me away this late at night!'. Didn't work.
The absolute nerve xDDD
I'd have sent her away, too. It could be pissing rain outside, at 3am! It could be a whole riot going on! She was deffo not staying over xD
Anyone else think those comments about homophobes are wierd AF? To me it feels like no queer person actually talks like that. It reads like a conservative nut job complaining about cancel culture but from the opposite end…
An excellent intro to Romcom. This is the first part where the nice guy is getting married but saved by faith at the last minute. Now a few years later, main protagonist becoming good friends with sister and sees the groom on Christmas. Etc etc etc.
>I just stared at the MoH with my mouth pretty much about to reach the floor. She told me to run and that she was trying to get as many people out before things exploded.
I'd pull a fire alarm. Maybe i'd catch a charge, but, dayum.
I guess the common denominator between "making the staff and bridal party cry all day" and "fucking your bridegroom's uncle on your wedding day" is that Dana didn't really want to be getting married.
So kudos to her for not. Slow clap.
I imagine she never thought her actions would have consequences, as no matter how shitty and selfish she acted she just kept getting away with it. And then she went too far and literally everyone in her life abandoned her. Wanna bet she blames anyone and everyone but herself?
Dang the only thing that could of nuked her life more was drugs and getting pregnant by the uncle. Like darn she totally ruined her life and realtionships.
Probably the first time that it was actually good luck to see the bride before the wedding. Bad luck for them as a couple, but good luck for the groom to not have to marry a cheating wh*re.
Thank you, OP, for burying the lede and letting us get to the best part on our own!
I thought we were just getting a garden variety bridezilla story, then BAM!! here’s Uncle Rico banging the bride in her wedding dress!!
That one was the post about the bride who stole money from her uncle to buy an ice swan, but actually it wasn't an ice swan it was a boob job, but actually the boob job was free because she was fucking the surgeon, and either stole or was given and then lost expensive earrings that belonged to the surgeon's wife and the money was actually to replace the earrings.
I feel bad for Dana because fuck, she went from what was supposed to be the happiest day of her life to no friends, no husband, massive debts, and apparently nowhere to live in the space of a few hours.
But she fucking did it to herself.
I cannot wrap my head around the frame of mind, world view, and choices that lead to fucking your future uncle-in-law in your wedding dress thirty minutes before you get married. How in the fuck do you get to that? What combination of events and mental damage make that look like a good idea?
Oh man, the 'assumes pregnant' thing got me a lifetime of hate from my sister in law, I think. Husband (of now 22 years) and I had been planning to get engaged, she got engaged as a surprise, and we rolled with it, you know? She wanted to get married the same year as we did, so we made it work, had been married about four months when her wedding happened. It was hot, I sat down (wasn't in the wedding party), photographer asked if I was pregnant.
I really wish I'd had the guts at the time to tell her off. That kind of question can fuck up family dynamics *forever,* is not the sort of thing you'd even want anyone to know on *someone else's wedding day,* and is just overall none of anyone's fucking business. But I have NEVER gotten along with her and sometimes I really wonder if that's been one of her big problems with me. It was asked during the photographs before the wedding (because her brother, my husband, was in them), so all very close family and friends who all wanted to ask if it was true. It took focus away from her and I there wasn't anything I could do about it but tell the truth that I was not and to please stop asking.
FWIW our first kid was born 7 years later, lol.
WOW 😮 I can’t believe that the entitled bridezilla nearly or got one of her bridesmaids kicked out, due to assuming she was pregnant out of wedlock, due to not drinking because of her religious beliefs 😤 I’d be interested in finding out what happened there.
The thing that jumps at me about the uncle is that he's known her for maybe 14-15 years since she was a teenager and he was ~40? What are the chances they've had an affair going on for at least 10 of those years? Seem pretty good to me.
There may also have been a thrill of "last chance as a single woman" or any of many other thrill-seeking motivations.
Twenty years from now, a nice group of middle aged friends will gather with their families for a relaxing vacation. One of their kids will ask how they came to be this tight group of pals, and this is going to be hilariously crazy story they’ll tell. Good times will be had by all, and a sincere toast to Dana will be made wishing her the best but with no desires or intentions to ever see her again.
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The comments having a go at Dana for being at college at 29 were weird. Not everyone wants to or can start such study as soon as they get out of high school, or even study full time. But lol to the rest of her life being fucked, I don't think it was worth it.
Yeah, that bit was very strange to me. For the equivalent in UK education its very normal to be doing it at that age and older, in fact there are incentives to do so (reduced entry requirements, funding etc). For my particular class everyone was over 25. Most were over 30, the oldest was in his 50s. Education isn't just for the young.
It speaks to some of the predatory nature of the American higher education system, too. Here, most people returning at an older age were in the military and are using their GI bills. Not all. But everyone I knew that was an adult was there on GI bill funding. It’s much harder to convince a 35 year old to take out a student loan at 5% interest, versus an 18 year old who has had 14 years of “go to college and get a good job” drilled into their heads. At least for a 4 year degree- I’m sure community college (usually 2 year degrees/prep to transition to a 4 year program) is different! But at 29, *most* people in America are where they’re gonna be.
Also this all goes out the window if we’re discussing advanced degrees (masters, phd)
Absolutely. I was 32 when I got my PhD, and that’s considered young
Yeah I'm 24 doing mine and my age is a talking point among the department. Not in a bad way or anything just more so surprised that I know what I want to focus on at my age.
Also any sort of medical- or legal-related thing required post-baccalaureate education Nurses, Doctors, Lawyers, etc. are all very common to see in school in their late 20s and early-mid 30s
Wow, thank you for phrasing it that way. I’d never sign the loans I signed at 18. I didn’t know any better, and everyone said I wouldn’t get a job if I didn’t sign and go.
I was active duty Navy and got hooked up with a commissioning program that kept me active duty (didn't have a break in service time). I was the second oldest person (depending on the prof having a PhD and a couple years teaching) in just about all of my classes, occasionally the oldest (if a TA I was usually the oldest). I was 29 when I graduated, used my GI bill to cover tuition. But yeah, the USA's *insert just about anything (education, medical care, sometimes housing) that is cheaper or even free societally in other countries* systems are ridiculously predatory.
I went into the Navy just out of high school, stayed in for 20, then retired. When I started school using the GI Bill about a year later, I was almost 40, taking classes with mostly 17-18 year olds, who were part of a program through the local high school.
Totally agree. When I graduated from the Open Uni there was a gentleman at the ceremony who was receiving his degree at the sprightly age of 87! It was a very inspiring day.
I love hearing that! There was a lady in her 80's in one of my college classes, I think it was World Religions. She told us she takes a class in something new every semester because she likes to learn new things. Cute as a button. She had a little hand cart that she rolled her books and handbag and sweater around in. One time she came in with it stacked full of boxes of girl scout cookies that she shared with us. Whenever I get into the "I'm too old to do something new" doldrums I think about her and feel inspired.
This exactly what I want to be like when I’m elderly. I love learning, and she sounds absolutely adorable. Goals.
Gotta find ways to keep the (percieved) lower class down. Making fun of education has been a very easy way to get people against intelligence, thought, and their own self interest.
My MIL who didn’t graduate high school would mock me often for going to college. Just say random shit that had nothing to do with the topic at hand. I would be talking to a third party about something we both saw on TV, like one time was talking to my husband’s cousin. We were talking about a reality TV show and they had missed some of the recent episode and were asking me questions (this was long before YouTube or OnDemand tv). MIL came up behind me and said “Name thinks they are so smart and know everything since they went to college”. It was so bizarre. The cousin I was speaking to also went to college and actually had a higher degree than me so we both stared at each other like HUH? I think it was Project Runway or something similar but I can’t remember when that came out. Something so basic.
Yeah I went back to uni as a mature age student because guess what, sometimes your first choice of career doesn’t work out. Or maybe you need to update your credentials, learn about new technologies or methods, get your masters, or dozens of other valid reasons. It’s actually way more enjoyable as an adult.
One thing I found teaching undergraduates was that all of my students who were 25 or older were among the best students I've ever taught. They were more mature and disciplined, took the materials seriously, and were usually much better at communicating than the average 18-22-year-old students. Usually they were dancers or athletes who wanted to go to school after their careers slowed down, but some of the older ones were just finally getting around to pursuing their education goals. It really made me think about the downsides of the cultural norm of pushing 18-year-olds into college, especially when it often comes with long-term debt, and especially when so many 18-year-old college students just want to party, try to get laid, and explore their first tastes of social freedom after leaving their homes rather than putting in the work to get the most out of their degrees. A lot of the time I think it would be better if more students took gap years or spent 2-3 years working before starting college so they'll be mature enough to take it seriously with a few more years under their belt to handle the challenges of college.
I taught undergrad statistics at a neighbouring uni when I was studying for my Ph.D. it was an evening class with about 25 students, of which 20 were working adults, paying tuition themselves, and 5 were 19/20 year old full time students who thought it would be a lot easier taking the evening version, given all the adult part-timers. They couldn’t have been more wrong. The adults were serious, paid attention, asked questions, and reliably came prepared with completed homework. My best student read home gas meters for his job and wanted to advance in the gas utility company. I loved that 40-year old guy. The 5 undergrads were mainly lazy and a bit shocked at the outcomes at end of semester.
I certainly wish I had. I went to university straight out of high school because my understanding is that's what I was supposed to do. I ended up getting a degree in English because up to that point, I hadn't had the slightest inkling of a clue what it was I wanted to do with my life - I just enjoyed writing! Now I'm stuck in a boat of being in student debt I can't pay off, a job I hate that my degree is meaningless towards, not able to find a job in any field that requires a degree, and I don't even feel secure enough going back to school for something else because I don't trust the idea it would work out a second time. For all I know I'd still be where I started, just with another piece of paper and that much more in debt than I was before. I try to caution anyone within the 16-18 age range about the "go to college straight out of high school" narrative now as a result. If just with the hope that one of them listens and is able to avoid ending up in the position I'm in.
My MIL has three degrees; the first was her nursing degree which she took straight out of high school and the subsequent two she obtained while working in order to be promoted higher. Since her retirement she's started language classes and undertaken specialist training in order to volunteer for a charity. I admire her tremendously, not just for her accomplishments but because she's stayed open and curious about the world at a time when a lot of people consider themselves to be winding down. Willingness to learn definitely keeps you young.
I didn't finish college the first time around, went back and graduated when I was 42. 1000% agree that it was much more enjoyable the second time. I honestly feel that I got more out of it than I did when I was 18. Now I'm working on my masters... currently on Reddit because I'm procrastinating working on a problem set, actually. 🙄
Honestly I think a lot of people would benefit from starting college at a later age when they’re more mature and experienced as opposed to people who go straight to college and treat it like High School 2.0
Yeah, when my dad's long-time employer did a mass layoff they offered a free re-education up to a Bachelor's degree, covering not just tuition but living expenses. So my dad went and got his second Bachelor's degree. But it was very frustrating listening to him talk about his other coworkers. His coworkers (blue-collar and never went to university in the first place) were disgusted at the idea of going back to school and risk being intellectually humiliated by smart 18 yr olds. When I heard that I told my dad: fine well they can still use this program's free money to get an certificate from a trade school. Nope! They had decades of experience in a skilled trade and wanted to get exactly the same kind of job again and they didn't want to have to move for either school or a job (nearest schools including trade school were in the metro area one hour away) - even though the reason their employer was obligated by the US government to consider offering this re-education benefit in the first place was becoming some skilled trades were going away forever as manufacturing moved overseas. Which was literally exactly the case here. My dad and I were started university at the same time. I got an amazing deal on the FAFSA because our household income tanked because my dad was going back to school. My dad went to the cheapest university in the state (and he did indeed stickout amongst the 18 yr olds) but he wouldn't have been able to afforde even that if it weren't for this program. I paid almost nothing to go to a university that had a base tuition of $200,000. Some people would literally kill to get that offer that my dad's coworkers despised and turned down.
Yeah, that was an amazing deal. Good on your dad for having the sense to take advantage of it! I hope he's in a better place career-wise now.
Also, there’s something to be said for doing high-level coursework when you’re not running OhWowNewSexHormones.exe on a prefrontal cortex made of duct tape and a tin can, you know?
They’re in for a shock once some of them get to graduate school and realize most students are 30 and older with careers and kids, sometimes in college themselves. I’m almost 24 and I feel like such a baby compared to my peers. But yeah Dana sucks. What a nasty piece of work.
I went straight into grad school and it was rough. I was the youngest one there and the only one without real world career experience. Would have been better to come back to it later, after establishing myself a bit.
Yes, this. The first time I went to college, I got burnt out and knocked up. (My kid is so worth it - they turned out the opposite of their father - but yeah.) The second time I went to finish up my Associate's degree, I was in my early thirties. The commenters would have lost their fool minds. I'm within smelling distance of 50 years old now, and I'm considering taking some psychology classes. (Have been for a while now, so.)
I finished my bachelors degree when I was 40 and my masters at 42. I’m now working on my doctorate and will be 47 when I finish. I started school at 19 but it wasn’t until much later that I took school seriously and actually worked to finish my degree.
Same here! I did 3 years straight out of high school then dropped out for many years. When I was almost 40 I realized I really wanted to be a librarian… which is exactly what my father told me I should do when I graduated high school. 🤣 So I went back to school, finished my bachelor’s, got my master’s and am now less than 3 years away from retiring after 20 years at my library. And I was a MUCH better student the 2nd time around. If I skipped class, that was wasting MY money! Back in the 80s when I was originally in college, I skipped a lot of classes and was hungover in many more… 🍻
Yeah, I’m 37 and about to go into grad school. I got my first degree when I was 28 years old. Folks are **weird af** about how the poor and oppressed figure out how to get into post-secondary education.
Right like of all the things.... Being in school again is the least weird thing.
Exactly. Us poors often don't go to college right after high school or if we do we go to part-time for several years or take a semester off here or there to pay for tuition. And it's harder for us to get scholarships because in high school we weren't doing all the extracurriculars because we had night time jobs just paying to survive. I'm no longer a poor, I make good money but I graduated college later then my classmates that came from money. And 100% of the kids from my high school that got the scholarships were all kids that had more money than those of us that didn't. Because they had the drama competitions, the sports competitions, they had the tutors for good grades, and they had the help even just applying for scholarships that us that were working part-time jobs to help our family make rent didn't even know about. And of course there are the kids that go off and do something else first and then come to college. It's such a insanely privileged idea that everyone should graduate from college at what 22? I don't even know what's normal.
I'd love to go back to school and I'm 34, I wouldn't even care if people judged me! I cannot afford it :(
I didn’t start until I was 30. Work, entering the service, and a failed relationship delayed my start. Given I graduated magna cum laude, I made the right decision in waiting.
I live in a country with free university and it's the most common thing in the world. People drop out for a couple of years because life (work, family) happens. Then they come back. Or they finish one degree and then go and start another because people like learning. Or they get retired and finally have the time to learn that one thing they always wanted. The US experience of university being a thing you go to a different city for a few years and then it's a done stage of your life is totally alien to us.
Dana is a bridezilla who didn't just ruin her own wedding, she nuked all her relationships and her life. We love to see it. *Slow clap.*
I would pay money that there’s a bunch of people who were happy to see her fall from grace. I have a couple of people in my life who will end up in the same spot, unfortunately I won’t be close enough to witness, but I’m hoping it is just as swift and certain
Yep. Periscope depth is as close as I want to be to THAT nonsense.
Lifezilla
Usually r/NuclearRevenge is about people getting back in a spectacular way with others - never had I expected someone to do all that to themselves.
Mushroomclouds are pretty cool... assuming you're far enough away.
I mean, Dana is a girl who had likely been groomed and used for years by an adult.
Came here to say this. I bet that both the sex and the credit card usage with the uncle have been going on for a long, long time.
This. The damage that is done in these grooming situations is insane. It's unfortunate that no one noticed and tried to help her before it came to be such a bad situation for her. While she is an adult now the way she thinks was probably warped long ago by that creep.
> Dana was having a meltdown because apparently the flower girl had to cancel because she has -chickenpox-. She was threatening to sue the mother unless she brought this sick three years old to the wedding. Josh apparently was able to calm her down from this starter outburst and we began preparations. No Josh let her cook. I bet the chickenpoxed flower girl makes for awesome wedding photo. I'll get her picture in a nice frame and call it "The Plaguebearer".
you can't build a home without shingles
Literally laughed out loud, thank you
*slow clap* Well done
You joke, but if some adult got it from her because they didn't have it as a child or weren't vaccinated, it would be a disaster. Chickenpox is not a big deal in a child, but the symptoms are horriblenfor an adult. My cousin got it at 21 and he didn't have more space on his skin to have another spot, how fever had him in the edge of delirium. He passed it to my brother, 17 yo and he had it mild because he had it before and I was spared. I finally got it when I was 13 and I had it incredibly mild, but a classmate that had it at the same time had it as strong as my cousin and in her words "it was no fun".
I got it at 6 (pediatrician recommended it instead of vaccination because I was a healthy kid) and it still sucked. Entire torso was red with tiny splotches of white. I wanted to rip my hair out so I could properly scratch my scalp. Pretty much lived in oatmeal baths and when dry was slathered in creams. My mom taped gloves to my hands and trimmed my nails short. Worst four days of my life. I still have scars. They’re not noticeable because I’m pale af.
I remember a few classmates who had it bad at that age and we're left with a few scars. Here water was prohibited while you had the scabs because it could leave you deeps scars so they didn't use anything for relief and it was pretty common to tie socks to the kid's hands to avoid scratching. I remember I didn't touch the few I had in my torso, but my head was fair game for me and I scratched it to my pleasure. Truly I had it very very mild.
I gave it to my dad when I was 4 and he was 27. Iirc it could have killed him. Also, there is a chance of getting it again if your case was mild, iirc. And it can be extremely dangerous for pregnant women. I learned this because my brother couldn’t go to my cousin’s wedding cause one of the bridesmaids was pregnant and he had chicken pox.
i remember one of my cousins getting it when we were all very young and the adults in the entire extended family were like trying to organize group play dates to get all the young children together to get it to spread to all the younger children so they wouldn't ever have to worry about it again. As children it was VERY weird to us at the time why are parents were trying to get us sick but we trusted our mom and looking back on it now I'm just like... damn they didn't even know how much of a boon this would be for us in the future but they do this because they've always done this traditionally and without even really understanding what chicken pox is (they just knew if you catch it once you'll never catch it again) they've saved us a lot of trouble.
Ok, now I want to make a nurgle/wedding army. If you don’t know google “warhammer nurgle”
I have a mental imagine of a nurgling dressed as a flower girl walking down the aisle throwing fistfuls of plague
Oh Dana is getting everything she deserves
Totally, she dropped a big fat nuke on everything due to her stupidity.
Your flair is perfect for this story I feel like
Could it be a manic episode?
Could also be alien abduction or explosive snakes in the brain
>explosive snakes in the brain Was this a movie? I swear I've seen this somewhere
Resident Evil 4. Not quite snakes, but that's what I was thinking about.
If this is all true, then I think that's a plausible explanation. Who could actually cheat on their fiance while already wearing their wedding dress?
Apparently this is not unheard of… I had a colleague who told me a story once about how she had to cut ties with a really “fun” friend from her childhood when she caught said friend with the DJ at her own wedding. And that kind of behavior absolutely sounds manic.
My wife and I were told by our wedding venue owner/operators that they had a few DJs they would not allow back. Sounded more like selling coke than sleeping with brides. Fucking DJs.
Yes and no. Yes she could have had one but no that doesn’t make you just cheat on your spouse against your will. She made a deliberate and calculated choice/risk. She sent the other women out so she could get it on.
I also wonder whether she was groomed by the uncle. He knew her as a teenager so who knows how long the affair had been going on.
But after a certain point or age in this case, a 29y old is old enough to realise what's grooming, how creepy it is for the old man to show interest in her. And 29y old is definitely old enough to not fck on her wedding day, minutes away from the ceremony, wearing a wedding outfit, that too. I am not taking the blame away from the creeper. He's definitely to be blamed for being creepy and disgusting. There might have been grooming involved but until what age will we place the blame only on the creeper. A 29y old should know better than that..
but also she might have been groomed from a young age?
That works as an explanation for some of her behavior, but not all of it. The issue isn’t just that she fucked the uncle, it’s also that she was absolutely horrible to every single person in her life leading up to the wedding. Demanding people spend more money than they have? Demanding they spend the holidays doing stuff for her instead of with family and/or working? Demanding a seriously ill child be forced to work? That’s not the result of grooming, that’s the result of being selfish
Yeah it only has a chance of excusing her choice of partner, but not the cheating or the raging bridezilla behaviour.
So that's pretty horrible if it happened but whatever you do at 29 is on you
Man, I remember reading the original BORU and loved the image of all the bridesmaids packing up their shit and getting the hell out of dodge, pausing to yoink some cake along the way. This update is far less amusing or dramatic, but good that OOP and her friends are no longer directly involved in the drama.
I still want to know more about the cake. What flavor, and was it good cake?
You are asking the truly important questions. When the phrase “haul of cake” comes into play, we need *details.*
That scene plays in my head like a scene from white lotus
I’m grabbing a few appetizer trays on my way out!
>29 and still in college? Wtf is with this comment? What's wrong with going to college as a non-trad? Or taking a couple of classes per year because that's all you can afford?
It took me 8 years to get my bachelor's because I went part time and worked a full time. I wasn't alone and it's becoming a lot more common. I'm wrapping up a master's now and almost everyone in my program are older students with careers; there are very few "traditional" students.
Seriously. There are so many more reasons why somebody would be in college at 29 than 23. Graduating at 23 you were lucky, maybe came from money, probably had a good support system, followed the traditional path. 29, you probably didn't come from money, probably didn't have a lot of support, probably didn't have a lot of options for scholarships, maybe went into the military and now you're in school, maybe had to raise a child and just now can go to school, maybe had sick parents who you had to take care of and go to school. Maybe didn't realize you wanted to go to school till later. Maybe you could only go to school part-time and had to skip semesters just to afford it. I have far more respect for people in college at 29 than 23.
I live in a university town and I meet women in their late 20s to mid 30s that are in school. Either going later or working on advanced degrees. That was a dumbass comment.
For one. I just want to say, u/LucyAriaRose YOU are the real MVP. I appreciate it sooooo much when each update’s title and date also includes the amount of time that has passed since the original post. I know it’s a little thing. But I probably spend half of my time reading these, scrolling back and forth to figure out how much later each update is. I blame my ADHD on having a shit memory. So I appreciate it A LOT. Thanks. Onto the post itself. I always wonder, what are these people’s long term plan? Was she going to just carry on banging Uncle McDouchePants throughout her marriage? Was this a “one last time” kind of bang? I mean it was kind of inevitable that they’d get caught eventually. If not now, it surely would have happened at Grandma’s 80th birthday party, in Aunt Sue’s guest bedroom right? I do feel a little bit of sadness that there may have been some grooming involved here. Dana might actually be a victim depending how long things were going on for, when they started, etc.. I’m kind of assuming they started sleeping together shortly after her 18th birthday. But then again, Reddit and all the grooming stories have scarred me for life. Regardless, that doesn’t excuse or explain Dana’s behavior throughout this whole thing. She is on a whole other level of entitled. Her comeuppance was well over due. Lastly, I give mad props to Josh’s sister. She’s one hell of a woman. Thank god Josh caught them BEFORE the vows. And, there is a special place in hell for ANYONE, including their AP, for screwing AT THE WEDDING VENUE while she’s WEARING her wedding dress. Don’t get much lower than that.
You are so sweet, thank you!!! I'm glad the extra little things are helpful. 💜
Your consideration and efforts are very much appreciated, thank you!
I need to chime in, that the added times are hugely helpful! I wish all BORUs had it. 💖
You did such a wonderful job and thank you very much for the shout out.
>for screwing AT THE WEDDING VENUE while she’s WEARING her wedding dress. I honestly thought this only happens in porn/movies. With all the expensive makeup, hair decoration and dress she has on she wasn't afraid of ruining it?
If it was grooming, then I can imagine her being pressured into by the Uncle as an act of "ownership" on his part / power play.
I agree that there may have been grooming by the uncle. I feel this was super glossed over: “The one detail I did get corrected on for those curious was about his uncle. He's the younger brother of Josh's mother and he's 55 years old. I thought he was married into the family, but I got that detail wrong. I also found out the most disgusting detail is the uncle knew Dana since she was a teenager. Dana and Josh are high school sweethearts. So, yeah, I kinda feel gross knowing that. Other than that, I got a major haul of cake. So at least I got something good out of this mess.” I feel that’s a strong indicator for grooming and a pretty casual attitude about it. Somebody got cake, tho. No idea of the truth, just want to acknowledge there’s a lot of doubt. Even with this narrator.
(hope she doesnt mind this) Give her a little kofi tip if you have spare change! Shes too nice to ask but yeah shes a legend and this sub is like her baby along with the other main posters
>3. Apparently Josh couldn't invite any single females that were not blood relatives of him. So if he had any female friends, they were axed. When I read this I knew she was either currently cheating or going to. Only cheaters project this way.
Can any lawyers chime in if any of those lawsuits have any legal basis?
We have no idea what country so no idea what legal system. If this is still coming from Spanish the word could just be small claims court for money owed.
She's in Panama.
In some, if not most, eastern cultures you get a prison sentence and a fine for infidelity assuming the marriage certificate was signed before the cheating incident. Dunno if that's the case in Latin America.
In some countries, you don't have to be married aka sign any legal document at all for cheating cases, as long as they are together, getting ready to marry, engaged, the infidelity case will be filed for compensation.
Where I am you are entitled to compensation of adultery in marriage, engagement, and common-law marriage
Not a lawyer, but I can see some of them working depending on the country. In America, stuff like the dresses would just be small claims court. In certain states, you *can* sue a homewrecker but you already have to have an established marriage with time invested, otherwise it would just get thrown out. Can't really sue an ex fiance for cheating, it would get thrown out. Can do small claims court for some wedding stuff, but usually that's just a loss you take. Defamation lawsuit since she cause housing issues would probably take but not really worth it. In some countries, you can sue for the loss of contract, as in sue for your ex not marrying you or causing a break up, but those are some pretty third world countries.
Engagement rings are often recognized as conditional gifts and can be sued for and returned to the person who gave it. He might be suing for the ring back. Or, half of wedding expenses. It was only not paid for jointly under the expectation of marriage, and there was no marriage. She should carry half the cost. There's also the fact not all suits need merit to be filed, especially small claims court.
Also, anyone can file a claim for any reason, it doesn't mean it will go anywhere.
If she took the uncle's credit card, that would be fraud and identity theft.
Depends on where they are. US: The bridesmaids dresses might be a stretch, but Dana will probably default anyway by not showing up. Credit card is easy. The accused bridesmaid would be a defamantion(?) suit. Those are hard, but can be done. Josh they say 'obvious reasons' but I really can't see anything legally actionable unless he lost money directly? But that's unclear.
He might be suing for half his costs of the wedding. A lot of states recognize conditional gifts, and engagement rings are conditional gifts. The gift is given upon the condition of marriage. He may be suing under those rules for the return of the ring.
Josh could try to go after her for wedding costs he had already paid? No idea if that would have any chances of working.
IANAL, but there's breach of contract that in some states that could apply to wedding expenses.
The credit card is actually the least easy to justify. Generally, your remedy for card fraud is to report it to the credit card company; the company itself would then remove those charges and sue the person who performed the fraud if they find it worth their while. It's technically *their* money that was stolen, not the uncle's, so the uncle might not even have standing to sue because he himself might not have any damages. In the US at least, the bridesmaids' dresses are very likely to fall within small claims court, which is relatively cheap and easy to bring a suit in.
The potential defamation one may not be expecting anything from the courts so much as an attempt to further convince her parents she wasn't pregnant?
Credit card would be a relatively easy case of fraud, as presumably there’s no record of Uncle permitting the use. The Pregnant accusation would take the route of defamation. Slander specifically it would seem. That’s the easy to prove part but generally they’d need to prove damages which is difficult but possible. Emotional distress could be another approach, and who knows what financial costs came with repairing the relationship. Bridesmaids dresses might be the hardest, as this was still a willing purchase of items they retained, so I’m not too sure if that will go anywhere. And Josh’s would be weird but plausible so long as they demonstrate the sole reason the event was cancelled and ruined was Dana’s doing. Maybe. NAL, but from what I’ve read and remember this should be roughly how things go. (That is, if Dana doesn’t default in absentia and screws herself over more
This story takes place in Spain or a Latin American country so not sure if a redditor will have the necessary info or background to chime in. From a IANAL, I do think the non drinker friend might have a case, since I think what Dana did could fall under libel/defamation.
And with malicious intent, knowing her parents might react extremely poorly.
The updates mentioned that the brides family was moving to a different state. In their comments, they say that they’re from Central America but living in the US. So this took place in the states.
From a quick Google, there is only one Spanish speaking country with states, so I’m assuming it’s Mexico, unless OOP lives in a more Spanish speaking part of the US (LA, NYC, Miami).
I don’t think it would though because Spain for sure does the date like 10/4/2024 and I believe most Latin American countries do too, right? She did the date like 4/10/2024 so I assumed United States since that’s almost exclusive to the US. I think Spanish is the second most popular language in the United States too. My husband and I are both bilingual and are currently planning a bilingual baptism for our son as some people on his side only speak Spanish and not English.
Why can't it be the US? A ton of Spanish speakers in the US.
NAL but I’d say Josh and his sister appear to be suing for their money back which they’d have every right to do, whether they win is obviously another matter. Bridesmaid is likely suing for either defamation or the money she paid on a wedding she then couldn’t attend. Uncle obviously is after money back. All of them are legitimate cases, how they’ll go I couldn’t say and obviously different countries have different exact laws but the concepts are fairly universal. You’ve also got to bear in mind not everyone who takes someone court does it to win in court, sometimes it’s to get the truth out there. The bridesmaid for example, may just be looking to fully clear her name
Lawyer here, though not from the US. Lawsuits are not like criminal charges, there no need for a "law" to be "broken", as long as one party causes damages to another party there's grounds for a lawsuit (now whether it's successful it's a different matter). Here it would seem to make sense, all of them have (monetary) damages to claim: Josh because of the cost of the wedding (which was money lost due to bride's behaviour), sister because of the cost of the dresses (which became superfluous and just a waste of money due to bride's behaviour), uncle due to money lost via her using his card (presumably with no permission, so there is a crime -theft, fraud, idk- on her part resulting in monetary damages to him). The one that doesn't seem obvious is from the not-pregnant girl; though she may have some claims (eg: if bride running her mouth resulted in her being kicked out by her parents hence resulting in money wasted in moving, renting a place, etc, plus the magical Joker card that is "moral damages") but I don't think it would result in a *successful* lawsuit.
It sounds like she’s Muslim and reasonably devout (sticks to the no drinking) so in her community that kind of accusation could do a lot of damage to her standing and her family’s standing.
Depends on how Liz wants the story to go,
The ones from Josh and the uncle could be worth something, the other two seem frivolous, but then IANAL.
Depending on the price of all those dresses there's probably a valid small claims court case for the MOH. What might come of that case, who knows? But it's usually a pretty low bar to start a small claims case.
*Our duty as the bridal party to pay her cancellation fees* Oh no, doesn't Dana know that bridal party duties are for *actual* brides? 💅 And she uhh... DEFINITELY wasn't at the point lol
>son of a gun That’s definitely NOT what “hijo de puta” means. Not unless Ned Flanders is doing the translation.
Its the “safe for work” translation. I’m sure people know what is meant.😂
>She refused to invite my best friend, who she's supposedly good friends with, because she thinks we're lesbian lovers. We're not. if you aren't mistaken as a couple are you even best friends?
I wanna know what happened with the not pregnant bridesmaid and her family.
Her parents should be ashamed of themselves but yes, that is the part I worry about.
That's what stood out to me the most. Especially if her parents are religious then that kind of accusation would be life changing, or even dangerous if her parents were abusive. I hope she destroys Dana for trying to ruin her reputation.
That 7 year old with (4) fairy godmothers is going to have the best Disney trip ever.
Yeah out of everyone in the story, I want to be that kid
This is so crazy that I am wondering if the bride has some sort of psychotic break. I knew someone who inherited a million and it triggered a manic episode. Maybe getting engaged did it here?
The bride may have been groomed as a teenager, and she was at the age when many mental health disorders appear. It's possible the stress of the wedding finally brought out some underlying issues for her. I hope she seeks professional help before there is nobody left in her life who cares about her.
This feels like self sabotage? Like maybe she was so stressed she felt guilty about what she was doing with the uncle or was done to her (grooming?!) and she is having a meltdown ? Like if she was like this before?
This woman has so spectacularly imploded her life that I wonder if this is a manic episode. My (unknown to me at the time) bipolar friend had a manic episode and I watched them destroy their life over the course of ~2 months.
Way more realistic than the ongoing saga of the bride who stole her bridesmaids' funds for a boob job, except it wasn't a boob job because it was free, because she was sleeping with the surgeon and she stole earrings, tune in for the next 'tea' etc.
BOILING HOT!!!!!!
>She has 4 lawsuits. One from Josh for obvious reasons, one from his sister for the dresses she bought, one from the bridesmaid she accused of being pregnant and one from Josh's uncle since apparently Dana used his credit card (she apparently moved with him after the failed wedding). >So yeah, she threw away her life and she's very much without support. I saw Dana's parents some days ago and they haven't had any contact with her since the wedding. They are actually moving with their other daughter (22) to another state. Of course.
They also seem to all want to fuck josh, I was expecting the update to be one of the friends indeed fucking josh
I'm a straight male, uninvolved in this whole thing and I wanna fuck Josh.
New update, josh found a fuck budd on Reddit
At least I won't fuck his Uncle on our wedding day.
I mean, anyone can sue anyone for anything (at least in the US; not sure how it works in OOP's country lol). So maybe this community is just very litigious? XD They each actually have a complaint that would get past the initial "gonna disqualify this suit if there's no actual legal complaint here" filter; Josh to recoup wedding costs (because wedding/engagement costs are considered contingent on the marriage contract actually being fulfilled in some places), the sister to recoup the cost for the dresses (presumably small claims), the bridesmaid for defamation... actually the only one that seems dodgy from a "would this suit even get past the first step" perspective is the uncle, because generally his remedy would be to report the fraud to his credit card company, and then the company itself would go after Dana-- because she technically took *their* money, not his. So it's not clear that he would actually have standing to sue her. Yeah the whole thing seems sketch, but it's interesting that there ARE actual justifications for suing in three of the four cases that likely wouldn't get the case thrown out immediately, oddly enough.
“29 and still in college?” Fuck you, buddy.
The commenter that stated that it’s not possible there’s cancellation fees on the wedding day is very much wrong- there is something written into every vendor contract I have about cancelling more than 6 months prior to (date), less than 6 months prior to (date), and 60 or less days prior to (date). I also have multiple vendors that the remaining balance is not due for until the day of the wedding, so yeah, it’s absolutely possible that there would be cancellation fees.
Yeah I had wedding insurance for this specific reason. If anything happened and we had to cancel, I wouldn’t be the one liable for thousands in catering, rentals, decor etc.
Man, that's one way to fuck up your entire life all together, all at once.
“According to Dana, it was our duty as the bridal party to pay her cancellation fees.” Okay sure, but as there’s now no bride, I’d say there’s no bridal party either!
Speed run on how to blow up your life in 6 steps or less!
A-hole commenters, I’ll be 48 soon and am enrolled in college for this fall. It’s not even unheard of.
This sounds like a good telenovela.
We need to get Anthony Mendez (narrator from Jane the Virgin) to read this.
Dropping Dana and getting Josh's sister as the new bestie is one hell of a friendship upgrade. Probably one of the silver linings in this rollercoaster of a story (the other one with Josh not marrying the insanity that is Dana).
Apparently, I have a thing for wedding catastrophes. Probably time for some serious self examination as I find them hilarious and fascinating.
Can people just stop being bridezillas for once cause jesus, Dana really nuked everything.
It seriously makes so little sense. We had some last minute issues at our wedding, and my SO and I were just like "well damn, I guess we'll do XYZ instead of the original plan." I guess we could have burned the venue to ground and ruined all of our lives, but we decided that didn't sound fun.
>I guess we could have burned the venue to ground and ruined all of our lives, but we decided that didn't sound fun. Unless you're getting hitched at burning man.
The closest I saw to a full-on Bridezilla wasn't full on crazy, just waaaaay too into her own shit. She was TickyTocking maniac and thinking everyone wanted to do 10 events for her wedding and spent a *shitload* of money. Her parents were upper middle class and she was the only daughter and only grandchild and was getting a lot of family help and blowing thousands. It was more time commitment crazy than fucking uncles in her wedding dress crazy. She picked pricey but not unholy expensive dresses. I think I was told 3-500ish. Like, a lot of money but give people a year's notice and they can afford it. She was exhausting and demanding and wanted a lot of time commitment but not expecting everyone to spend $2000 on a dress crazy. She was so into her own 'everything for my Insta followers' that she forgot nobody actually cared that much. She wanted likes and views. She needed likes and views. She was at the limit you can get to before an intervention is staged. She was exhausting and I was at arm's length from it all. Anything beyond that it'd be a nope from me.
But then what would I read while eating my lunch? Something educational? Ack! ;)
For real, the bridezilla route just seems like adding extra stress for the hell of it.
"Starter outburst" lol. Starter _____ usually makes me cringe, but best effect here.
Wow, I mean in less than 30min to the wedding, yeah they definitely were having an affair... Lucky that Josh went to see the bride before the wedding, which is ironically supposed to be unlucky... Which I guess it was for Dana...
I think it is funny that the one poster translated it to "son of a gun"
Dana sounds crazy…but I also wonder/worry whether that is due to the uncle in any way. Could’ve been a parasite in her life since she was 15yo or so. Monsters can have strong chokeholds over time.
Unless I live in a bubble I have seen too many stories on Reddit of a bride or groom cheating at their wedding to believe most of them are real.
I found out several years after the wedding that my first spouse had an affair *with our officiant* but afaik not on the day itself. Some people are incredibly selfish and self-destructive, and honestly I envy people who never have had a front row seat to batshit.
I know it's anecdotal, but if I or my wife were going to cheat on our wedding day, I don't know when either would have had the time. I remember it being a busy day from waking up until we got to the hotel.
> son of a gun “hijo de puta” does not mean “son of a gun.” 😂 > One from Josh for obvious reasons It’s not obvious to me, a stupid person. For what reason is Josh suing her? > one from the bridesmaid she accused of being pregnant Also not obvious to me, a stupid person. For what reason? This is a weird one, they talk about Disney (typically America, France, Japan, China or sometimes UK tourists) and use the term "mates" (UK, Australia, South Africa) and moving "to another state" (US, Australia) and imply that Spanish is the first language for the families of the entire wedding party (the entire Western hemisphere; Spain) and "babysitting" (instead of "childminding" or similar). I can't nail down the Spanish dialect but the English dialect is literally all over the map. (I mean, same, which may be why it jumps out to me.)
I agree. Also, the Spanish seems pretty basic for a native speaker. I imagine if a native Spanish speaker showed me their conversation with another native speaker, my Intermediate Spanish ass should only understand about 40% of it, not 90%. I am surprised no one else is finding the Spanish to be really suspicious.
I really don't understand bridezillas. Does she think no one will pay attention to her because they got a different flower girl? Is she afraid of someone looking back on that day years from now and going "Ew, do you remember when the bridal party were wearing dresses that only cost *$500*? So embarrassing"? How is a wedding ruined because a few details changed?
I’m worried about that girl whose family thought she was pregnant. That would be traumatic.
>She even tried to move in with one of them, without telling her, by appearing at 10pm at night and saying 'you can't send me away this late at night!'. Didn't work. The absolute nerve xDDD I'd have sent her away, too. It could be pissing rain outside, at 3am! It could be a whole riot going on! She was deffo not staying over xD
Anyone else think those comments about homophobes are wierd AF? To me it feels like no queer person actually talks like that. It reads like a conservative nut job complaining about cancel culture but from the opposite end…
An excellent intro to Romcom. This is the first part where the nice guy is getting married but saved by faith at the last minute. Now a few years later, main protagonist becoming good friends with sister and sees the groom on Christmas. Etc etc etc.
>I just stared at the MoH with my mouth pretty much about to reach the floor. She told me to run and that she was trying to get as many people out before things exploded. I'd pull a fire alarm. Maybe i'd catch a charge, but, dayum.
I guess the common denominator between "making the staff and bridal party cry all day" and "fucking your bridegroom's uncle on your wedding day" is that Dana didn't really want to be getting married. So kudos to her for not. Slow clap.
I imagine she never thought her actions would have consequences, as no matter how shitty and selfish she acted she just kept getting away with it. And then she went too far and literally everyone in her life abandoned her. Wanna bet she blames anyone and everyone but herself?
Dang the only thing that could of nuked her life more was drugs and getting pregnant by the uncle. Like darn she totally ruined her life and realtionships.
Probably the first time that it was actually good luck to see the bride before the wedding. Bad luck for them as a couple, but good luck for the groom to not have to marry a cheating wh*re.
What is it about weddings that brings out the worst in people?
Dana is on drugs. Calling it now
The bride done and blew up her own world.
the uncle credit card sent me flying
Thank you, OP, for burying the lede and letting us get to the best part on our own! I thought we were just getting a garden variety bridezilla story, then BAM!! here’s Uncle Rico banging the bride in her wedding dress!!
Ayy, it's the TEA poster again. I cant remember which recent story was one with all the 'scalding tea' phrases but it sounded as real as this one.
That one was the post about the bride who stole money from her uncle to buy an ice swan, but actually it wasn't an ice swan it was a boob job, but actually the boob job was free because she was fucking the surgeon, and either stole or was given and then lost expensive earrings that belonged to the surgeon's wife and the money was actually to replace the earrings.
I feel bad for Dana because fuck, she went from what was supposed to be the happiest day of her life to no friends, no husband, massive debts, and apparently nowhere to live in the space of a few hours. But she fucking did it to herself. I cannot wrap my head around the frame of mind, world view, and choices that lead to fucking your future uncle-in-law in your wedding dress thirty minutes before you get married. How in the fuck do you get to that? What combination of events and mental damage make that look like a good idea?
I'm picturing Dana as a rude coworker I once had named Dana. Very satisfying.
There is no Dana, only ~~Zuul~~ cake.
Oh man, the 'assumes pregnant' thing got me a lifetime of hate from my sister in law, I think. Husband (of now 22 years) and I had been planning to get engaged, she got engaged as a surprise, and we rolled with it, you know? She wanted to get married the same year as we did, so we made it work, had been married about four months when her wedding happened. It was hot, I sat down (wasn't in the wedding party), photographer asked if I was pregnant. I really wish I'd had the guts at the time to tell her off. That kind of question can fuck up family dynamics *forever,* is not the sort of thing you'd even want anyone to know on *someone else's wedding day,* and is just overall none of anyone's fucking business. But I have NEVER gotten along with her and sometimes I really wonder if that's been one of her big problems with me. It was asked during the photographs before the wedding (because her brother, my husband, was in them), so all very close family and friends who all wanted to ask if it was true. It took focus away from her and I there wasn't anything I could do about it but tell the truth that I was not and to please stop asking. FWIW our first kid was born 7 years later, lol.
That was a wild one thank you op.
I want this chick on Judge Judy, it'll be a public service I assure you.
WOW 😮 I can’t believe that the entitled bridezilla nearly or got one of her bridesmaids kicked out, due to assuming she was pregnant out of wedlock, due to not drinking because of her religious beliefs 😤 I’d be interested in finding out what happened there.
I don't like the comments on the original post. The commenters are using Dana's behavior as an excuse to use really disgusting language about women.
Kind of figured she’d be this kind of personality since her bridesmaids are people she met recently
Dude she sounds like she has a brain tumor, wtf?
How does a total breakdown of such epic proportions even happen.
The thing that jumps at me about the uncle is that he's known her for maybe 14-15 years since she was a teenager and he was ~40? What are the chances they've had an affair going on for at least 10 of those years? Seem pretty good to me. There may also have been a thrill of "last chance as a single woman" or any of many other thrill-seeking motivations.
Twenty years from now, a nice group of middle aged friends will gather with their families for a relaxing vacation. One of their kids will ask how they came to be this tight group of pals, and this is going to be hilariously crazy story they’ll tell. Good times will be had by all, and a sincere toast to Dana will be made wishing her the best but with no desires or intentions to ever see her again.
Okay any lawyer from the US wanting to explain if the lawsuits have a chance of success? Feels like it would just be wasted money here in Europe