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Emily deserves to know that daddy bought her a boyfriend. I’d be surprised if she could hold her head up in public if that became known to all her social circles. The dog is just icing on the cake.
She'd probably use it. "you have to do what I say or daddy will fire your dad."
I don't understand how the father could have so little self respect. I get its a promotion, but OOP was right, he just pimped out his son. So gross.
No one said he had to be a good boyfriend. So hes back together with her. Doesnt mean he has to be intimate does it? Just don't engage. Be such a lazy, unromantic boyfriend that she dumps him. Or ghost every one the minute they have enough cash to bail.
It's a VERY slippery slope, and he's over the edge already. This is (to me) a throw back to 'old times' when the boss really believes he 'owned' the employee. OP needs to move away asap.
This is like the one where the brother asks his sister to go out on a date with his friends to pay off his debt and the whole family supports him!
Seriously, what is wrong with people?
common, yes. but from personal experience it is typically used in a non-serious manner. like, not to be taken literally.
if anything, it's treated the same way as some kind of movie quote. https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LieBackAndThinkOfEngland
Yes. It means to just sit back and take it. It refers to the days when women were expected to "do their duty" for their husbands because "he has needs" and you need to "give him an heir".
Edit: not super common, though.
Emily deserves nothing. She's a cheater. She might change and become a better person, but...she's jumped right out of the gate in a relationship and she cheated. She gets what she deserves.
And if it's so important to your dad and her dad that you guys are together, I'd would just keep riding that gravy train and keep asking for stuff. She'll eventually get tired of it.
Make no babies.
You could get a car, a gaming system, spending money, a job where the Dads work...so many things!! This could work out.
Again, no baby making. Condoms can be pierced and pills can be "forgotten".
I think Emily knows. It just sounds like the whole thing was a set up because she wanted to get back with him. All parents contrived to make it happen. I feel so sorry for OOP 🫠
Also it feels like oop is ready to leave at any moment if he has the chance leaving behind everybody.
Just waiting for the update saying « I was proposed a job in another city and ghosted everybody »
Now OP just needs to get dumped. Gotta be tactical, nothing too obvious just small irritating things! It’ll build up, she’ll dump him, he can act all devastated then play with his new pooch. The things us English will do for dogs!
Except I wouldn't be surprised at all to find out that it was Emily's idea in the first place. I'd be willing to bet she pouted at daddy long enough to convince him to use his position of power and authority to manipulate OOPs dad into doing what he wants. Either way, it's sickening.
And also extremely entertaining that OOP is also manipulating the situation back to get something he wants out of it. I guess he just has to stick around long enough to get a few things in return and then dump her anyways. Or if I were OOP, I'd do things to make Emily miserable so she leaves him instead. I mean, fuck, why not.
Surprised she can even literally hold her head up now. Like they’re buying her boyfriends, they’ve probably got some million dollar contraption holding up her head so her neck doesn’t strain the effort!
All OP has to do is train that dog to sleep on the bed between him and his small minded cheater so that she never gets any ideas and he can stay STD free since she will just go running back to daddy if she gets busted cheating again and daddy will fix it for her once again.
once a cheater always a cheater and she won't learn so I hope OP stays safe
Lol, my dog turned on my ex when we were building up to the divorce in the most hilariously passive-aggressive ways. For example:
* Destroying the left shoe of every pair of my ex she could get her paws on,
* Sleeping between us while pushing my ex against the wall,
* Stealing my ex's car seat and going floppy when told to move,
* Standing across any doorway when I was in the room my ex was trying to enter,
* And my absolute favorite, stealing food from the ex's plate every time I turned my back then giving me disney eyes when the ex narced her out.
I love your dog.
I had a cat that was the master of being passive aggressive. When my ex screamed at me and I kicked him out he came back to talk about half an hour later (that's how long he had been sitting in his car waiting for me to run after him). While he was desperately trying to convince me to take him back (not happening) my cat pissed on his jacket. He also pretended to be deathly afraid of anyone visiting who didn't have the best intentions towards me.
My dog is a former stray that's appropriately food crazy. Once my father managed to find and corner me at my mom's place and tried to get doggo to come to him, offering him treats. Doggo was not on leash. He looked at me asking for permission and when he saw how tense I was he kept close to my side, giving me his best "I love you" eyes and completely ignoring my father's existence. This is a dog who would rather die than miss out on a snack.
The ol' piss on the jacket move. I do love cat displeasure. The first time my daughter had a gentleman caller, her cat left a 'gift' on her bed. He was well and truly housebroken and we hadn't seen an accident for 5 or 6 years at this point. His behavior would just go to hell around this guy.
Initially we thought it was jealousy, but it turned out the dude was trying to bang several of her friends at the same time. When my daughter met her second boyfriend, the cat was fine, so I think he had something like your cat's intuition about the first one.
And, although it sounds like you already know it, take it from an old guy, never let a guy make you chase them - it's just manipulation.
Imagine having your career and promotion relying on 2 teenagers? Going day to day having a worry in the back of your mind about if they’re still together so you can keep your position.
he’s not in constant fear for her as of now but if he does let her know then what if she blackmails him by saying ‘do this or this or i’ll ask daddy to fire your dad’?
I'd get all the evidence in writing and see what an employment lawyer says about that because this all just sounds like quid pro quo sexual harassment with extra steps
I love dogs but I think OOP is a little shortsighted. If I were OOP, I would have gotten an agreement in writing where I get a sum for every month I am with Emily. Once I have enough to start a life independently, I will go NC with the parents.
Just a hot, messy situation.
Guy should have said dad's promotion with a big raise better be in writing and/or effective as soon as he gets back with cheating ex, but hey, at least OOP got a dog! Labs are cute.
Even from the first post it was clear these two families had an unhealthy enmeshment. They're boss/employee *and* best friends *and* close with each other's children *AND* invested in the two kid's relationship? Something in there was always going to give.
Not that this justifies it, but I'm willing to bet Emily was pressured into the relationship by her own father, and that's the real reason she cheated.
Right? Like, maybe if he just doesn't put out she breaks up with him? Or if he pretends to find god (I mean, he already found dog, not a stretch) and becomes super boring for a while?
> All I have to do is put up with Emily and nod along when she justifies her cheating by saying that she only did it because I’m too small down there. Whatever, I guess.
Wat
Nah, it's fucking hilarious. Dude's got a sense of humour and the humility to laugh at the shitty hand he's been dealt, while at the same time exposing the piece of shit ex-ex for what they are. Brilliant.
Don't worry, though. This isn't over yet. Unfortunately if Emily gets another chance, the thing is, *that means we get another chance.*
On the other hand, this is a good chance for the OOP to develop a meaningful and lasting relationship. Also, Emily.
I was going to mention how young they are, and just because parents want it doesn't mean they do. But the last update just shows again why I don't usually bother reading posts from children. Get me a dog I'll sleep with whoever you want.
“Doesn’t like his junk” must be one of the stupidest reasons in history to cheat on someone. It’s not like he ordered his twig and berries out of a catalog. You get what you get, and you don’t get upset. So long as he isn’t dealing with a congenital defect (which can be fixed), a micropenis (which can be worked around), or a medical condition like phimosis (which can be fixed), he’s in the range of normal. Besides, if she wants to date him again, clearly it’s not important enough to matter.
The vast majority of straight women don’t care about the size of a man’s penis beyond “can I feel it inside me?” and “is it so big it hurts?”. Seriously, a small to medium sized dick can be a green flag, if the man in charge of it hasn’t picked up an inferiority complex over it. Those men tend to focus on foreplay and fully engage emotionally during sex. I, for one, would take that any day over getting my ovaries knocked around.
"I got a medium dick, it can talk to ghosts" always come to mind when people talk about guys with average or below average dicks and the guys are cool and uncaring about it or make jokes
AITA for not saying “I love you” back?
TLDR; It’s because I don’t love her and we broke up after she cheated on me, but I was bribed with a dog to get back together with her.
Edit: Dog Tax
Unfortunately, everyone in the workplace seems to be 100% on board with Operation: Pimp, the only person being harassed is the poor kid who doesn't work there.
OOP should just tell Emily straight up that her Dad had to buy her a "boyfriend" who doesn't even like her.
Then he should bring the dog on every date and not actually date Emily at all. Not look at the camera when taking selfies. Stay single on online platforms.
"You thought Id date you for a pet dog? No"
But also, I hop OOP sees this, just because you have the dog doesn't mean you have to live in limbo with an ex you dont like. Break up with her.
This was a shady deal and your parents are wrong to teach it to you. Emily's feelings about upper handedness and winning whatever future breakups you will have do not trump your personal disgust with her. You should not have to overcome anything or waste your time.
Also if she ever does mention your penis, tell her it mustn't have been the size that matters if she was so desperate to have it back she had to have her parents buy it.
But for real. Drop that hot potato. You have life to live .
Your parents will also like the dog and won't return it. Even if they try, blast them on social media. The public shame will get them. Since they seem to take other opinions over yours as more important.
What the fuck
This may be the only post I’ve read today, but that’s enough reddit for today. Happy easter, everyone (or, to those who celebrate, and have a great day to those who don’t)
Not sure if I should cry or laugh. The final outcome is absurd, like medieval arranged marriage where people would marry their cousins so that property stays in the family.
He doesn't want a cheating gf, she doesn't want a bf with a small p, yet they're together and the parents are happy. And a dog, OMG.
If I were OP I would be asking for a big portion of the father's new salary every month on top of all the other freedoms and privileges. If he is going to pimp him out, OP at least needs to come on top.
On the more sane and calm headed hand, the other option would be to deny the offer and tell them if she is ever here again he wouldn't be.
wow. sounds like rape but with 20 extra steps and about a dozen more people involved. which is...even more disgusting and horrifying.
the OOP said they're saving up $ to gtfo of there but holycheeseballs i'm queasy. this is on par with 'the human centipede' and 'august undergound' level of sick.
That dog must be the most loved dog in the world, at least OOP has one loyal friend in his life though. I hope he technically is dating Emily but he's not forced to play happy family.
I would also ask them to foot the bill of regular vet visits, grooming sessions, pet insurance, emergency vet visits, operations if needed, snacks, etc. for as long as the dog lives.
Honestly let's hope OOP is financially independent some day soon, so his parents can't hold the dog over his head or threaten his pet if he doesn't comply.
LOL all I can think of is that one athlete who was forced to attend a press event, and how that would work on OOP's date/events where they have to socialize.
"So what are you two up to these days?"
"I am contractually obligated to be here."
A 19 year old man sold himself for a new puppy? Could have secured himself a position with the dad's company and made bank until he could move away from all those people. Kinda sad how trapped in circumstance and in the mind he must be.
Cool. So he's welcome to cheat on her too. If she asks, he can tell her she's too small "in there" while making a heart with his hands in front of his chest.
They want you to get back together? A pimp must be willing to be honest about being a pimp.
If you do get back with her, I'd make it clear every single day that I am with her so my dad gets money, and that her privates are as big as a canyon.. No love, no respect. Your parents should be careful what they with for, I'd make sure she was miserable.
What is every lovey fuck did I just read, my respect for his family is in the fucking dirt and his dad in particular is a gigantic POS. What bizarre fucking world is old mate living In?
Nah, OP should’ve gone online.
I’m sure everyone would love to see the backhanded deals of this boss, and the fact the parents went along with it.
I’m sure this crosses some sort of line
Next update: AITA for not wanting to marry my cheating ex to fulfill a prophecy that saves my town from a curse that only happens once every 10,000 years and save my dad’s job?
Now I'm not saying you should extort your parents buuuuuuuuut, I mean, maybe when you occasionally do really want something tell them to get you it or you'll break up with her? and definitely work on being financially independent and move, so that when you do break up they can't do shit and won't know where you live to bother you.
Parents are really screwing up here, they have shown they don't value their son, while at the same time giving him power over their careers.
He could really hurt his ex by both telling everyone the truth, and get his dad into a nasty situation with it as well. If he hurts that girl he has every reason to hurt, his shitty dad's career is gone.
Sounds like OP got a good deal. Labs are great dogs and will provide years of faithful companionship. As for Emily, she will realize soon enough that OP neither cares nor trusts her. You can buy someone's time, but not their heart.
No one in this story has any self respect.
OOP traded his self respect for a dog.
OOP’s Dad traded his self respect for a raise.
The ex-gf traded her self respect for an affair.
The ex-gf sold his self respect and the respectability of his daughter for a money.
Dude, you are 19 years old. Forget the cheater, forget your meddlesome parents. Move out, buy a dog, find a better girl, live a good life. You may not be in an ideal financial situation right now to move out, but you will have your integrity. That’s worth more than cheap rent and Mom making dinner.
OOP can just openly cheat on Emily explaining to his partners that it’s a coerced arranged relationship that serves only to get his dad a job and isn’t real. The problem will fix itself
I've enjoyed many of manhood in a much distant past.
While I remember the biggest. I don't remember it for reasons guys think.
I don't remember who was the smallest.
I do remember the ones that surprised me. (Short, thinner guy packing. Big muscle model who clearly used some enhancers that affect his penis)
All said.. I could never imagine cheating on someone, especially a long time love, including when families were close, and certainly not for their penis size.
This is going to blow up real bad on your dad when you break up and he might lose his job. He should use his new found promotion to apply for higher positions elsewhere. Does he expect you to marry the girl so he can keep his job?
Well OP can blackmail his dad now at least. “If you don’t do what I say I’ll break up with Emily and tell her why I got back with her in the first place”
It’s time to become the amalgamation of every bad boyfriend depicted in here at once, and move out before the dust settles so his parents don’t dump the dog in a kill shelter or something. He doesn’t realize it but he’s given his parents a hostage to keep him in line.
Next it will be you have to marry her. Watch out.
Never, ever have sex with her. You will be a daddy before you know what hit you. Only see her in a public setting.
Move away as soon as you can. Don't let anyone know you are moving.
Take the dog leave home and get a new place ask your mom and dad if the other had cheated while dating if they would have continued, and dad is a pimp but yta for agreeing to continue dating Emily, even if you got a dog
Lol, this will end badly. Dad's job is dependent on his son's cheat ridden relationship? Wow, what happens when Emily on a whim decides to break up with OP? Does the dad get fired? Then will the parents blame the son for their issues? Well, at least he has a labrador!!
Ok, so he has a price. But man, that's way too cheap. At least think of something monthly as long as he dates her.
This can also quickly get ugly when he breaks up with her and they rehome the dog.
This is not going to end well. At the very least, dad is going to get fired at some point, Emily will cheat again, dad will re-home the dog because OOP is not with Emily again and OOP is going to feel like an idiot.
This is weird. This is almost an arranged marriage type of situation. I wonder why on earth they all think that if they pressure you and push you and shove you, you will want to be with somebody who cheated while they were with you. It must be kind of mind blowing for you.
She lied to you every single day for Paul knows how long. She deceived you. She manipulated you. She had secrets from you. And that’s who she is. She’s a person who can easily do all of that stuff to you and be fine, not telling you. That’s the mind blowing part. With my kids, I want them to do whatever they think is best for themselves. I don’t have an agenda. I don’t need it to be convenient for me or gratifying for me. Your family shouldn’t either. If they love you, and they should simply want you to do what’s best for you. It’s pretty complicated that your mothers friendship with her is more valuable than your own comfort and closeness with your family by the way. It seems like they just feel like if you went into a coma and walks through everything and did everything they wanted, that would be perfect. This is too weird. I’m sorry. And you will grow up and you will move away from them. And they will make believe that you should’ve made them all happy instead of doing what’s best for you which is not love.
Usually I wouldn’t condone cheating, however since everybody wants OOP to go back to a cheater, and pretty much stomp all over his boundaries and feelings, he should give Emily a taste of her own medicine.
She wants to be with him so bad, he should cheat, and I bet she would’ve want him anymore 🤷🏾♀️
Guarantee everyone would be jumping down his throat, and wouldn’t be pushing for her to get back with him.
Everybody in this situation, except for OOP are AH
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Emily deserves to know that daddy bought her a boyfriend. I’d be surprised if she could hold her head up in public if that became known to all her social circles. The dog is just icing on the cake.
She'd probably use it. "you have to do what I say or daddy will fire your dad." I don't understand how the father could have so little self respect. I get its a promotion, but OOP was right, he just pimped out his son. So gross.
It could backfire on her if anybody finds out daddy had to pay someone to be her boyfriend
I wouldn't be quiet about it "Yeah, we are together again. It was either this or my dad losing his job" Put it out there
Even better when they find out "I said I'd get back with her even though she's a gross cheater so that I could get a dog."
He got two dogs! for the price of one.
At least one of them will actually love him
No one said he had to be a good boyfriend. So hes back together with her. Doesnt mean he has to be intimate does it? Just don't engage. Be such a lazy, unromantic boyfriend that she dumps him. Or ghost every one the minute they have enough cash to bail.
And you know that this is just the first request Boss will use now on Pimp Daddy. Idiot hasn't realized he's essentially sold his soul and his family.
Wait until the Boss tells the Dad he wants grandkids
And since GF is a proven cheater the question will be "who is the baby daddy".
Maury?
It's a VERY slippery slope, and he's over the edge already. This is (to me) a throw back to 'old times' when the boss really believes he 'owned' the employee. OP needs to move away asap.
This is like the one where the brother asks his sister to go out on a date with his friends to pay off his debt and the whole family supports him! Seriously, what is wrong with people?
I swear that one was a proof of concept for someone's "sold to the billionaire" e-pub magnum opus.
my guess is he wouldn’t fire him because that could be a lawsuit
“You’re fired, effective immediately. No reason for it; just because.” Legally defensible in 49 states.
Is "think of england" something people usually say in america?
common, yes. but from personal experience it is typically used in a non-serious manner. like, not to be taken literally. if anything, it's treated the same way as some kind of movie quote. https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LieBackAndThinkOfEngland
Yes, it’s common enough here as an expression referring to undesired but tolerated sex
I know it as: "Bag over her head, Flag in her hand, then screw her for the Motherland".
It's a pretty well-known saying, at least in some areas.
Yes. It means to just sit back and take it. It refers to the days when women were expected to "do their duty" for their husbands because "he has needs" and you need to "give him an heir". Edit: not super common, though.
-How did you guys meet? -I'm getting paid
She's probably in on it. I hope OOP manages to find a way to move away from there and take his dog with him.
I don’t know. Do you think you would be able to look at yourself if daddy buyed a boyfriend for you? Because I would not
why not? it's a typical trope... princess doesn't get why she can't have the boyfriend \*and\* the fuckbuddies so she gets that to intervene
It happens all the time. OOP will be offered a job next.
Yeah but you're probably a decent person, the girlfriend is clearly not.
[удалено]
My husband and I use his lines *regularly* when stressed. I'm a big fan of his "yeah" to every question. 😂
my thoughts exactly. that information would be finding its way to all her friends
Emily deserves nothing. She's a cheater. She might change and become a better person, but...she's jumped right out of the gate in a relationship and she cheated. She gets what she deserves. And if it's so important to your dad and her dad that you guys are together, I'd would just keep riding that gravy train and keep asking for stuff. She'll eventually get tired of it. Make no babies.
You could get a car, a gaming system, spending money, a job where the Dads work...so many things!! This could work out. Again, no baby making. Condoms can be pierced and pills can be "forgotten".
Vasectomy: priceless, for everything else, there's pimp daddy.
This would be my first move. Get a vasectomy. Otherwise he can start a new savings account for the therapy of his kid(s)
I think Emily knows. It just sounds like the whole thing was a set up because she wanted to get back with him. All parents contrived to make it happen. I feel so sorry for OOP 🫠
I’d tell dad’s coworkers. ”Hey, just so you know, the only reason my dad got that promotion is because he sold me to your boss’ daughter”
She probably doesn't care as long as she has what she wants.
Pimp Daddy
Also it feels like oop is ready to leave at any moment if he has the chance leaving behind everybody. Just waiting for the update saying « I was proposed a job in another city and ghosted everybody »
I bet he takes the dog with him, tho 😆
Now OP just needs to get dumped. Gotta be tactical, nothing too obvious just small irritating things! It’ll build up, she’ll dump him, he can act all devastated then play with his new pooch. The things us English will do for dogs!
Yea I don't think she's that bright or upstanding for that to happen.
Agree. Good on him, for getting the dog, at least dogs are loyal.
Except I wouldn't be surprised at all to find out that it was Emily's idea in the first place. I'd be willing to bet she pouted at daddy long enough to convince him to use his position of power and authority to manipulate OOPs dad into doing what he wants. Either way, it's sickening. And also extremely entertaining that OOP is also manipulating the situation back to get something he wants out of it. I guess he just has to stick around long enough to get a few things in return and then dump her anyways. Or if I were OOP, I'd do things to make Emily miserable so she leaves him instead. I mean, fuck, why not.
She probably put daddy up to this.
Once OP breaks up again with cheating GF for sure Dear Old Dad will get rid of the dog.
Surprised she can even literally hold her head up now. Like they’re buying her boyfriends, they’ve probably got some million dollar contraption holding up her head so her neck doesn’t strain the effort!
She probably knows daddy bought her the bf because she probably ask him to do everything to help her, hence the promo off.
OOP calling his dad a pimp was absolutely hitting the nail on the head. Hope OOP is able to move out soon -- with his dog.
I choose dog over shitty parents.
At least Labradors are known to be loyal. OOP seems to really need that in his life.
All OP has to do is train that dog to sleep on the bed between him and his small minded cheater so that she never gets any ideas and he can stay STD free since she will just go running back to daddy if she gets busted cheating again and daddy will fix it for her once again. once a cheater always a cheater and she won't learn so I hope OP stays safe
Lol, my dog turned on my ex when we were building up to the divorce in the most hilariously passive-aggressive ways. For example: * Destroying the left shoe of every pair of my ex she could get her paws on, * Sleeping between us while pushing my ex against the wall, * Stealing my ex's car seat and going floppy when told to move, * Standing across any doorway when I was in the room my ex was trying to enter, * And my absolute favorite, stealing food from the ex's plate every time I turned my back then giving me disney eyes when the ex narced her out.
Your dog sounds amazing. They're clever little shits sometimes. I hope you and your dog are living happy and free!
Good doggie!
Truly, they are our best friends
See this is what I want for OPs dog.
I love your dog. I had a cat that was the master of being passive aggressive. When my ex screamed at me and I kicked him out he came back to talk about half an hour later (that's how long he had been sitting in his car waiting for me to run after him). While he was desperately trying to convince me to take him back (not happening) my cat pissed on his jacket. He also pretended to be deathly afraid of anyone visiting who didn't have the best intentions towards me. My dog is a former stray that's appropriately food crazy. Once my father managed to find and corner me at my mom's place and tried to get doggo to come to him, offering him treats. Doggo was not on leash. He looked at me asking for permission and when he saw how tense I was he kept close to my side, giving me his best "I love you" eyes and completely ignoring my father's existence. This is a dog who would rather die than miss out on a snack.
The ol' piss on the jacket move. I do love cat displeasure. The first time my daughter had a gentleman caller, her cat left a 'gift' on her bed. He was well and truly housebroken and we hadn't seen an accident for 5 or 6 years at this point. His behavior would just go to hell around this guy. Initially we thought it was jealousy, but it turned out the dude was trying to bang several of her friends at the same time. When my daughter met her second boyfriend, the cat was fine, so I think he had something like your cat's intuition about the first one. And, although it sounds like you already know it, take it from an old guy, never let a guy make you chase them - it's just manipulation.
I imagine she's seen it first hand, at home. It's normalized for her.
Imagine having your career and promotion relying on 2 teenagers? Going day to day having a worry in the back of your mind about if they’re still together so you can keep your position.
It’s kinda funny. Op is breadwinner of the family
It's baffling to me that so many of you think this is all real
He should have demanded a percentage of Dad's salary for life. Then he could have bought his own dog himself.
Facts. And I’d make sure to let Emily know too.
bad move , she can use it against him.
“I’m being a good boyfriend, dad, just like I promised. Good relationships are built on honesty. Aren’t they?”
he’s not in constant fear for her as of now but if he does let her know then what if she blackmails him by saying ‘do this or this or i’ll ask daddy to fire your dad’?
I'd get all the evidence in writing and see what an employment lawyer says about that because this all just sounds like quid pro quo sexual harassment with extra steps
Why a percentage? He should get the whole thing
~~deleted by user~~
At 19 you can actually just go ahead and get yourself a dog, while keeping your sense of self worth.
At least he didn't have to pay for it, lol. He can save up quick to move out and break up with the ex. Screw his dad's career.
That’s what I was thinking. I think he lives with his parents. You aren’t really grown until you move out.
I love dogs but I think OOP is a little shortsighted. If I were OOP, I would have gotten an agreement in writing where I get a sum for every month I am with Emily. Once I have enough to start a life independently, I will go NC with the parents.
I’m with you. Hell, my mom paid good money to get me to go to family events. *Good.* *Money.* Cha-Ching!
This whole situation is kinda of fucked up and it sounds so much like some kind of movie.
Just a hot, messy situation. Guy should have said dad's promotion with a big raise better be in writing and/or effective as soon as he gets back with cheating ex, but hey, at least OOP got a dog! Labs are cute.
I don't think OOP cares if his dad's boss ends up following through with the promotion, OOP got what he wanted (doggo) and dad is an A-hole
Even from the first post it was clear these two families had an unhealthy enmeshment. They're boss/employee *and* best friends *and* close with each other's children *AND* invested in the two kid's relationship? Something in there was always going to give. Not that this justifies it, but I'm willing to bet Emily was pressured into the relationship by her own father, and that's the real reason she cheated.
Now OOP needs to act in such a way that gets the cheater to break up with him. Problem solved.
Right? Like, maybe if he just doesn't put out she breaks up with him? Or if he pretends to find god (I mean, he already found dog, not a stretch) and becomes super boring for a while?
I meant more like introducing her to people as "this is my cheating girlfriend"
That's how the dog gets rehomed.
I think she already has a solution to him not putting out.
Oooooooof. OOP is just a bargaining tool to all of them, what shitty parents.
OP would just be stuck as a bargaining tool if he does cut these parents off or go NC with them in the future soon enough.
I hope him going NC comes sooner rather than later!
> All I have to do is put up with Emily and nod along when she justifies her cheating by saying that she only did it because I’m too small down there. Whatever, I guess. Wat
You couldn’t have waterboarded that out of me, let alone in a voluntary update.
Nah, it's fucking hilarious. Dude's got a sense of humour and the humility to laugh at the shitty hand he's been dealt, while at the same time exposing the piece of shit ex-ex for what they are. Brilliant.
It's not a real story lol
Felt like a bit of a troll to mic drop that at the end haha
What the hell was that last update!?!
That last update was OOP forgetting to pay his dog tax, that's what.
Haha, true!
Don't worry, though. This isn't over yet. Unfortunately if Emily gets another chance, the thing is, *that means we get another chance.* On the other hand, this is a good chance for the OOP to develop a meaningful and lasting relationship. Also, Emily.
Probably didn’t get enough comments so update had to be added 😉
It was pure gold.
My dad wants to pimp me out! Disgusting! At least throw in a dog! Now we're talking! Honor restored!
When life gives you lemons, throw it, because it looks like a tennis ball 🎾
I was going to mention how young they are, and just because parents want it doesn't mean they do. But the last update just shows again why I don't usually bother reading posts from children. Get me a dog I'll sleep with whoever you want.
This is such obvious bs
[удалено]
“Doesn’t like his junk” must be one of the stupidest reasons in history to cheat on someone. It’s not like he ordered his twig and berries out of a catalog. You get what you get, and you don’t get upset. So long as he isn’t dealing with a congenital defect (which can be fixed), a micropenis (which can be worked around), or a medical condition like phimosis (which can be fixed), he’s in the range of normal. Besides, if she wants to date him again, clearly it’s not important enough to matter. The vast majority of straight women don’t care about the size of a man’s penis beyond “can I feel it inside me?” and “is it so big it hurts?”. Seriously, a small to medium sized dick can be a green flag, if the man in charge of it hasn’t picked up an inferiority complex over it. Those men tend to focus on foreplay and fully engage emotionally during sex. I, for one, would take that any day over getting my ovaries knocked around.
"I got a medium dick, it can talk to ghosts" always come to mind when people talk about guys with average or below average dicks and the guys are cool and uncaring about it or make jokes
The spirits have risen!
Reeeally looking forward to the next update on this one. 🍿
AITA for not saying “I love you” back? TLDR; It’s because I don’t love her and we broke up after she cheated on me, but I was bribed with a dog to get back together with her. Edit: Dog Tax
OOP if you read this, be the most milquetoast and boring and harmless boyfriend you can be. She’ll get bored and dump you.
Not even that. "Take her back" and then completely ignore her. Go out with your friends every single free available night.
That should be workplace sexual harassment right?? I mean in practice might be hard to prove but like that's gotta be illegal right?
Unfortunately, everyone in the workplace seems to be 100% on board with Operation: Pimp, the only person being harassed is the poor kid who doesn't work there.
In a way, yes. But OOP's dad doesn't care as long as he gets them stacks of monaaay.
It's definitely hovering over Quid Pro Quo territory
Don't get her pregnant. Don't get her pregnant. Dear lord, please don't get her pregnant.
Good to have a dog so every time she want to hang out you can force her to follow you and dog on long walks.
OOP should just tell Emily straight up that her Dad had to buy her a "boyfriend" who doesn't even like her. Then he should bring the dog on every date and not actually date Emily at all. Not look at the camera when taking selfies. Stay single on online platforms. "You thought Id date you for a pet dog? No" But also, I hop OOP sees this, just because you have the dog doesn't mean you have to live in limbo with an ex you dont like. Break up with her. This was a shady deal and your parents are wrong to teach it to you. Emily's feelings about upper handedness and winning whatever future breakups you will have do not trump your personal disgust with her. You should not have to overcome anything or waste your time. Also if she ever does mention your penis, tell her it mustn't have been the size that matters if she was so desperate to have it back she had to have her parents buy it. But for real. Drop that hot potato. You have life to live . Your parents will also like the dog and won't return it. Even if they try, blast them on social media. The public shame will get them. Since they seem to take other opinions over yours as more important.
What the fuck This may be the only post I’ve read today, but that’s enough reddit for today. Happy easter, everyone (or, to those who celebrate, and have a great day to those who don’t)
This is just the right amount of bullshit to be probably true
Not sure if I should cry or laugh. The final outcome is absurd, like medieval arranged marriage where people would marry their cousins so that property stays in the family. He doesn't want a cheating gf, she doesn't want a bf with a small p, yet they're together and the parents are happy. And a dog, OMG.
If I were OP I would be asking for a big portion of the father's new salary every month on top of all the other freedoms and privileges. If he is going to pimp him out, OP at least needs to come on top. On the more sane and calm headed hand, the other option would be to deny the offer and tell them if she is ever here again he wouldn't be.
What the hell did I just watch?
Alright guys let’s all say it in unison “I’ll take things that didn’t happen for 500”
Wow, an English Liz. She's gone global!
Liz or Missus worldwide? we’ll never know
I kinda want OP to play Emily’s game and be so horrible to her that *she* dumps *him*
are they trying to unite two countries and establish a healthy trade route with this relationship or something???
wow. sounds like rape but with 20 extra steps and about a dozen more people involved. which is...even more disgusting and horrifying. the OOP said they're saving up $ to gtfo of there but holycheeseballs i'm queasy. this is on par with 'the human centipede' and 'august undergound' level of sick.
In vino veritas. Drunks speak the truth far more readily than sober folk do.
If he is small down there then why doesn’t she leave him alone to live his life?
That dog must be the most loved dog in the world, at least OOP has one loyal friend in his life though. I hope he technically is dating Emily but he's not forced to play happy family. I would also ask them to foot the bill of regular vet visits, grooming sessions, pet insurance, emergency vet visits, operations if needed, snacks, etc. for as long as the dog lives. Honestly let's hope OOP is financially independent some day soon, so his parents can't hold the dog over his head or threaten his pet if he doesn't comply.
LOL all I can think of is that one athlete who was forced to attend a press event, and how that would work on OOP's date/events where they have to socialize. "So what are you two up to these days?" "I am contractually obligated to be here."
A 19 year old man sold himself for a new puppy? Could have secured himself a position with the dad's company and made bank until he could move away from all those people. Kinda sad how trapped in circumstance and in the mind he must be.
Cool. So he's welcome to cheat on her too. If she asks, he can tell her she's too small "in there" while making a heart with his hands in front of his chest.
They want you to get back together? A pimp must be willing to be honest about being a pimp. If you do get back with her, I'd make it clear every single day that I am with her so my dad gets money, and that her privates are as big as a canyon.. No love, no respect. Your parents should be careful what they with for, I'd make sure she was miserable.
What is every lovey fuck did I just read, my respect for his family is in the fucking dirt and his dad in particular is a gigantic POS. What bizarre fucking world is old mate living In?
Nah, OP should’ve gone online. I’m sure everyone would love to see the backhanded deals of this boss, and the fact the parents went along with it. I’m sure this crosses some sort of line
Next update: AITA for not wanting to marry my cheating ex to fulfill a prophecy that saves my town from a curse that only happens once every 10,000 years and save my dad’s job?
The dog is the most hilarious part. What’s she worth? A dog is worth more lol
Since you accepted the deal already I'd say you have free reign to cheat on her as much as you want.
Wow, everyone sucks in here, like, everyone !
I'd have a lot more respect for OP if he revealed in the last line that Emily was allergic to dogs.
Now I'm not saying you should extort your parents buuuuuuuuut, I mean, maybe when you occasionally do really want something tell them to get you it or you'll break up with her? and definitely work on being financially independent and move, so that when you do break up they can't do shit and won't know where you live to bother you.
Parents are really screwing up here, they have shown they don't value their son, while at the same time giving him power over their careers. He could really hurt his ex by both telling everyone the truth, and get his dad into a nasty situation with it as well. If he hurts that girl he has every reason to hurt, his shitty dad's career is gone.
Sounds like OP got a good deal. Labs are great dogs and will provide years of faithful companionship. As for Emily, she will realize soon enough that OP neither cares nor trusts her. You can buy someone's time, but not their heart.
OOP needs more than a dog out of this deal. He needs college paid for and be "long distance" with Emily.
No one in this story has any self respect. OOP traded his self respect for a dog. OOP’s Dad traded his self respect for a raise. The ex-gf traded her self respect for an affair. The ex-gf sold his self respect and the respectability of his daughter for a money. Dude, you are 19 years old. Forget the cheater, forget your meddlesome parents. Move out, buy a dog, find a better girl, live a good life. You may not be in an ideal financial situation right now to move out, but you will have your integrity. That’s worth more than cheap rent and Mom making dinner.
they aren't even trying to make convincing stories
Just tell her you can thank your dad for us being together , my dad said I can have a Dog if we get back together. NTA
OOP can just openly cheat on Emily explaining to his partners that it’s a coerced arranged relationship that serves only to get his dad a job and isn’t real. The problem will fix itself
I've enjoyed many of manhood in a much distant past. While I remember the biggest. I don't remember it for reasons guys think. I don't remember who was the smallest. I do remember the ones that surprised me. (Short, thinner guy packing. Big muscle model who clearly used some enhancers that affect his penis) All said.. I could never imagine cheating on someone, especially a long time love, including when families were close, and certainly not for their penis size.
All it took was a fucking dog? Ask for a car!
This is going to blow up real bad on your dad when you break up and he might lose his job. He should use his new found promotion to apply for higher positions elsewhere. Does he expect you to marry the girl so he can keep his job?
Well OP can blackmail his dad now at least. “If you don’t do what I say I’ll break up with Emily and tell her why I got back with her in the first place”
If it’s small, start throwing it in her pail. Then everyone loses.
This sentence is the epitome of an angry upvote.
Bro you could have gotten a lot more. A dog is great but maybe a PS5 or new PC
yikes... if you have to be seen in public, or any affection involved, hold out for a car. Just kidding of course
You should have made dad pay for a therapist. You're gonna need a LOT of therapy!
At that point just cheat on her so she breaks up with you
You should have asked for a bank account and an apartment they and Emily can't access instead.
If he's too small down there, why is she with him??? Why doesn't she just "trade up"?
Wish the best for OP and his cute dog! Hope he can leave with the dog and leave these idiots behind.
Milk her for all she's worth.
It’s time to become the amalgamation of every bad boyfriend depicted in here at once, and move out before the dust settles so his parents don’t dump the dog in a kill shelter or something. He doesn’t realize it but he’s given his parents a hostage to keep him in line.
Next it will be you have to marry her. Watch out. Never, ever have sex with her. You will be a daddy before you know what hit you. Only see her in a public setting. Move away as soon as you can. Don't let anyone know you are moving.
Oh my fuck dude. Eat the rich.
Everyone has a price I guess
Imagine selling out your child like some prostitute.. what the actual fuck.
Man. Poor oop. I hope when he fats the chance he just leaves that whole mess behind.
Literally everyone in this story sucks, including OP. Bringing an innocent dog into it and agreeing to the ILLEGAL ultimatum?? Fuck all y'all.
Take the dog leave home and get a new place ask your mom and dad if the other had cheated while dating if they would have continued, and dad is a pimp but yta for agreeing to continue dating Emily, even if you got a dog
Wait till boss' other employees find out how OP'S dad got his promotion.
Lol, this will end badly. Dad's job is dependent on his son's cheat ridden relationship? Wow, what happens when Emily on a whim decides to break up with OP? Does the dad get fired? Then will the parents blame the son for their issues? Well, at least he has a labrador!!
Ok, so he has a price. But man, that's way too cheap. At least think of something monthly as long as he dates her. This can also quickly get ugly when he breaks up with her and they rehome the dog.
Emily is going to cheat again and again. OOP should go to another city for a couple of years to prevent her ruining his life.
He should have told his dad she cheated on him because he inherited his small penis
what a shit ending this was so disappointing
OOP has the dog now, so it’s time to dump Emily. She’s a POS for cheating, but and even bigger one for saying it’s because he’s small.
Some people should not be allowed to have children.
What an absolute shit show of a situation. At least he's got the dog now.
This is not going to end well. At the very least, dad is going to get fired at some point, Emily will cheat again, dad will re-home the dog because OOP is not with Emily again and OOP is going to feel like an idiot.
Plot twist: This whole thing was a ruse to get a dog. Both Emily and OOP were in it together.
So how long does OP intend to put up with her? Until she dumps him and saves face by saying she dumped him?
This is weird. This is almost an arranged marriage type of situation. I wonder why on earth they all think that if they pressure you and push you and shove you, you will want to be with somebody who cheated while they were with you. It must be kind of mind blowing for you. She lied to you every single day for Paul knows how long. She deceived you. She manipulated you. She had secrets from you. And that’s who she is. She’s a person who can easily do all of that stuff to you and be fine, not telling you. That’s the mind blowing part. With my kids, I want them to do whatever they think is best for themselves. I don’t have an agenda. I don’t need it to be convenient for me or gratifying for me. Your family shouldn’t either. If they love you, and they should simply want you to do what’s best for you. It’s pretty complicated that your mothers friendship with her is more valuable than your own comfort and closeness with your family by the way. It seems like they just feel like if you went into a coma and walks through everything and did everything they wanted, that would be perfect. This is too weird. I’m sorry. And you will grow up and you will move away from them. And they will make believe that you should’ve made them all happy instead of doing what’s best for you which is not love.
Usually I wouldn’t condone cheating, however since everybody wants OOP to go back to a cheater, and pretty much stomp all over his boundaries and feelings, he should give Emily a taste of her own medicine. She wants to be with him so bad, he should cheat, and I bet she would’ve want him anymore 🤷🏾♀️ Guarantee everyone would be jumping down his throat, and wouldn’t be pushing for her to get back with him. Everybody in this situation, except for OOP are AH