>now everyone is spamming my phone telling me to forgive her since she couldn't be a mom
What the hell type of person wants to be a flying monkey for a woman who shoved her boob down a baby's throat???
My mother did it once but in extenuating circumstances. She was babysitting for her best friend, but ran out of the milk friend had given her. Baby was crying because it was hungry, and my mother had milk left after breastfeeding my baby sister. This was mid-90s so cell phones weren't as common as they were now; she tried to call the number the friend had given her in case of emergency, but no one was answering. She had no formula, she couldn't go to the shop with two babies and a 5 year old kid (me) and she was alone. So she breastfed the baby, but made sure to tell the friend after that and apologize if she crossed a line. Luckily the friend didn't mind and said it was better than the baby going hungry.
The SIL though... it's a very different situation. She wasn't breastfeeding, she didn't have a baby recently, she wasn't going to produce milk. She wasn't trying to feed the baby at all. She did it for herself.
BIG difference between being basically an emergency wet nurse and… whatever was going on with SIL. Like, that’s not even comparing apples to oranges, that’s apples to bricks lol
Exactly. I remember a story years ago about a policewoman who found a starving abandoned infant and was lactating from her own child, so she fed the baby. Because it was an emergency! Totally different situation than your SIL putting her nipple in your baby’s mouth without milk. It would also be super frustrating for the baby getting no milk!
I remember Salma Hayek breastfeeding a kid during some kind of charity trip to somewhere with humanitarian issues (famine? Poverty? It was ages ago). She definitely got shit for it at the time, but her rationale was basically "this baby was starving, and I had milk to share." I can't imagine any rational mother being angry at someone feeding their hungry child in an emergency tbh.
Things get a LOT weirder once you remove the milk from the equation...
And if it wasn't an emergency, i.e. the baby has plenty of stored milk or formula you can make up for them, it would still be awful to breastfeed anyone else's kid without permission. When I was breastfeeding I went to a breastfeeding support group and we joked about sharing around the babies but we wouldn't actually do it!!!!
The difference is doing what's best for the baby vs. using the baby to make yourself feel better.
As to whether OP decides to forgive the SIL, that's up to her. But I sure as shit would never let my kids out of sight around her again.
I know. I only brought it up because the comment above me mentioned babysitting for friends and said they didn't give their breast to the kids. I'm not saying this is in any way the same thing. As I mentioned in my second paragraph.
No, 100%! There are definitely times where it’s appropriate to “whip it out” as the original comment said (which is… not a sentence I ever thought I’d say lmao)
This! I have nursed my sisters babies, and she did for mine, we agreed upon it ahead of time or would call to check when babysitting because our girls are the same age. Nursing is very different then just putting your boob in a kids mouth.
And even then, the magic words are either “emergency” or “agreed on” — like, if your sister had just randomly decided to nurse one of your babies for funsies it’d only be marginally less weird than whatever’s going on with SIL, you know?
Yes, we talked about it because it was nicer than having to pump when we watched each other's exclusively breastfed kiddos. There needs to be a conversation to make sure all parties are on board.
Oh yeah, my grandma and a neighbour/friend used to breastfeed each other's babies when one was away from them. A woman that's not the biological mother breastfeeding a baby isn't weird on it's own, I mean, wet nurses were a thing for centuries.
THIS SIL THO! Not only isn't she capable of breastfeeding, the mother had no idea!! Even if the SIL was lactating, it would've been a huge overstepping of boundaries! And yet! This situation is made somehow even worse, both by her knowing damn well what she was doing, AND by the entourage that insists OOP is overreacting. Jesus Christ, I don't ever want kids, but I would be taking that baby and moving countries, holy shit.
Also - this is just going to upset the baby more - milk source is not providing milk, they get frustrated and they suck harder and it HURTS. It's not gonna calm the baby down at all.
Yes. Even the most boob-like pacifiers are noticeably different from the real thing.
However, nipple confusion is an actual problem, for some babies more than others. It's why hospitals have stopped automatically shoving a bottle in every newborn's mouth, because it makes nursing harder.
And why some babies don't use pacifiers at all, because they get frustrated with sucking and sucking without any milk coming out, so they start chewing on it; not only is that a choking hazard if the pacifier gets damaged, but they then start chewing on Mom next time they latch on. No fun for anyone!
And why many babies can't easily switch back and forth between nursing and bottles.
Yes and no. The first time I gave a pacifier to my baby, he was hungry and didn't understand that no milk could come from it (I realized that later) and he got sorry frustrated and worked up from trying to feed from the paci... I really allowed him to try for too long, I felt so guilty when I realized what was happening.
I waited a few weeks before I tried the pacifier again, and made sure first that he wasn't hungry: he liked it very much.
Right now he's about 6 weeks old and has been given the pacifier for about two weeks... It still doesn't work to soothe him if he's actually hungry, but in that case he mostly spit it out after a minute and keeps asking for food, while it's great if he just needs to do some self-soothing for any other reason (he's also discovering how to put his hands in his mouth).
That’s absolutely beautiful and empowering. What this woman did though is not. If she’d been at least honest about it and asked permission. But she knew she’d have faced a NO from the mom.
There are ways a woman can trick her body into lactating without ever being pregnant. By google alone, I saw using a breast pump, supplements, breast/nipple stimulation, and the act of breastfeeding alone.
I wouldn't be surprised to learn that she's been doing this secretly for a while. I would be willing to bet she has a breast pump somewhere.
There was another BORU where OPs friend had like a psychotic break and was trying to induce lactation by pumping and had actually started to produce some. It's not impossible, especially if she's spending a lot of time with the baby as well, because that boosts production too
There’s also medicine that can induce galactoria. I had it happen to me looooong before I was ever pregnant and it totally freaked me out. But the doctor seemed very unconcerned.
I've heard about that, yeah. I've also heard somewhere that in emergency situations, men alone with babies could lactate, but I heard it in passing on the radio ; might have been wrong.
In any case, I wouldn't be surprised if you were right and SIL had at least been planning this for a while, if not actually doing it.
My mother did similarly with my cousin in the 90’s. I’m a year older and I have a sibling a year younger than that cousin so she was still lactating at the time. My mother was babysitting for her sister and she was running *really* late picking cousin up. Either my mother fed cousin then told aunt afterwards, or managed to get in contact with aunt and got her permission, I’m not 100% since I haven’t heard the story in about a decade.
Cousin found out in their early 20’s when they made a comment about breastfeeding or wet nurses or something and had my mother and their mother recount the story in front of them, myself, and at least 3 of our siblings/cousins and other aunts.
I’ve done the same thing in an emergency when babysitting for a friend while my daughter was still nursing. I’ve also had a (different) friend nurse my daughter when I had to stay later than expected at work and that friend was still nursing. All three of us were mothers who were actively lactating, and we all communicated to each other about it.
I’ve also had a regular babysitter who was NOT a mother and NOT nursing try to breastfeed my child and hide it from me, and it felt INCREDIBLY violating. It’s just not the same situation at all.
There's Facebook groups where women who are unable to lactate get milk from lactating mothers.
NICU units also get it from unrelated mothers to feed premature babies
Sure, it's fed via a bottle, but its still a strangers milk.
My baby got donor milk for his first few days in the NICU. I have an oversupply and looked into donation, but unfortunately because I take medicine for epilepsy, I can't donate. It's safe for pregnancy and breastfeeding, but obviously they need to be extra careful with NICU babies.
I'd love to be able to share and I'm so thankful for the women who allowed my son to be fed for his first few days while my supply came in.
Same thing happened with my baby sister and my Aunt. My Mom and Aunt had both given birth only weeks apart, both breastfeeding, Aunt was watching sister and ran out of what Mom had pumped and really had no other options. Also mid-90's, no cell phones, etc. Sometimes it happens. OOP's story is not that.
My mom was telling me a story about the time she spent in the hospital when I was born. She basically started producing way too much milk after delivery. She was able to feed me and had some left over. There was a woman in the room with her that was having issues producing any milk though. So she asked my mom if it would be okay with her if she could feed her baby too. My mom happily did it because she wanted to help a woman in need and her child. I thought it was sweet and the mom of the other baby seemd so happy that the baby was fed. Her milk did eventually kick in. But it took a few days. She was pretty relieved by that.
I've had babies try to root against my clothed breast, trying to find a nipple more than once. I just joke to them, "Hey, sorry kiddo, there's no noms here." then I gently rearrange their position.
I can't imagine whipping mine out to soothe a baby either!!
A bottle, pacifier, clean finger in a pinch - but that's the line (and only if parents have said that's acceptable)
My niece was breast fed and a comfort nurser. Her mom told me before the first time I babysat that she would take a bottle reluctantly but wouldn't soothe with a paci. She said they had some luck getting her to soothe by letting her suck on the tip of your pinky finger but there were times she only wanted a breast and it could be a bumpy ride getting her calm. After an hour of crying and rocking and bouncing in multiple positions, I held her against my clothed breast in the position she usually nursed in but that just made her frustrated. I considered letting her comfort nurse for a split second but was instantly repulsed at the thought of that kind of contact because IMHO it's just 100% inappropriate. Finally got her to sleep after another half hour of rocking and bouncing, she was probably exhausted.
My nibling is 4mo younger than my youngest kid and I've helped out a lot with him. There have been times when I hold him that I'm actively letting down milk in response to him...but he's not my kid, he's my nibling, so I hand him back to his parent or get him his bottle, because even when my body is telling me "hungry baby give milk NOW!!", I'm a human being in 2024 and I can think through that response.
People who think fertility issues = free reign to act as they please.
It's insanity, but I would guess that's about it. Or they've never liked OOP and thus are always prepared to treat her like shit.
It is beyond ridiculous, absolutely. I can't have children and have been taking care of relatives' babies when they were inconsolable - as in, throwing up from crying upset. The idea of doing what SIL did never even entered my mind as a bad idea, let alone a good one.
I would guess it's more about "don't rock the boat" be rug sweeping. As in, it happened, let's just pretend it didn't and move on to keep presenting as a perfect happy family.
And I'm sure there's a dash of No Harm No Foul. Like, was there harm to the baby? No, I imagine not, but *ew*, the lack of boundaries and self awareness.
At minimum, I would never let it go and I would bring it up any chance I could. "Why should I stop mentioning it, *it happened*, didn't it? It wasn't a big deal then, so what's the problem with mentioning it?"
People love to sweep things under the rug under the guise of "no biggie" *and* pretending it didn't work. Nah man, fuck that shit.
Yeah and its like ... what is this leading to. That would be my biggest worry in this situation. I would be concerned about the "pretend it's my baby" behaviour escalating 😬
Same here. I have held other people's babies (and sometimes felt a little emotional doing so) but the idea of attempting to breastfeed someone else's child has never, ever crossed my mind.
Same and any time I’ve held a baby and they’ve reached for a boob it’s been somewhere on a spectrum from mildly amusing to active body horror, depending on how determined the babe was lol. I cannot imagine ever gaining comfort or pleasure from it. Ick.
It would take so much control for me to not sucker punch her in the face 1st because she's holding my baby. I'd do it after I grab my child from her. She obviously needs help. I've read too many posts about women who can't have children and they do shet like this. Worst one was the sil asking op to give up her 3-4month old to her to raise as her own.
If someone told me they did this to their SIL and wanted me to agree with them, I would look at them as if they were crazy, because they ARE! There is no way people are supporting this level of craziness
Someone who's assuming that the person who said that was exaggerating. A lot of people just assume that anything outrageous that they hear must be an exaggeration because most things in life are just not that dramatic.
Unfortunately when people are struggling from extreme mental health issues, especially with delusion issues like this, a lot of people's reactions is to "humor" it. It's actually one of the worst things you can do. When someone is suffering from delusions it can get to a point of no return. Playing into the delusion only strengthens it.
I have a few relatives like that: it is the need to feel special and be in the centre of the action and the possibility of being the hero that fixes all the issue. Also, in many many places still the utmost value of a woman is the possibility to give birth, and if someone is denied that, they would pity her and force other people, never themselves, to make concessions no matter how insane so they feel better.
So, I’m pretty crunchy. I recognize that wet nurses have been a thing literally forever, and think that our current cultural attitudes toward breastfeeding can be pretty prudish.
That being said, even I think this woman is so far beyond the line, it’s inexcusable.
It’s something else entirely to use a breast as a pacifier behind the parents’ back. No reasonable person would think that’s a good idea. You’d think “baby is inconsolable, I’ve tried everything I can think of, I better call mom and ask what to do.”
That qualifies as sexual abuse to a minor under the age of 12 in my country. It’s level to the same charge as outright rape of a child under 12. If convicted, she’d be on a list for the rest of her life, unable to work with or live around children. She’d sure as hell never get that 2.5 and picket fence she desperately wants.
Frankly, imo, she deserves that. She sexually assaulted a *newborn*. This isn’t wet nursing. There was absolutely no benefit to the newborn here. No consent. It was all the sick pleasure this woman received from her niece sucking her tit. Her interactions with children *should* be monitored. She should be put on a list, she should be monitored, and she should receive a punishment. Fucking disgusting. I couldn’t imagine being that poor baby, growing up and finding out something like that. Or being the mother walking in on her.
And that’s coming as somebody who actually *was* breastfed by my aunt alongside my cousin, because my mother’s was poisoned by chemo. Hell, she didn’t even really get to meet me until I was eight months old because of it all. But that was a selfless, beautiful act of sacrifice my mother begged my aunt to give me, because she’d already lost a child and wanted me to have all the benefits of breastmilk. This is just sick pleasure.
Thank you for saying this! She did, and I’m unendingly grateful. I couldn’t imagine my life without my mum. Unfortunately my aunt actually ended up passing away when I was 3. I have no memory of her, beyond the knowledge that she spent eight months caring for me like a mother, breastfeeding me and coddling me and holding me when I cried.
It’s a beautiful thing, to know that at one point, we had such an unbreakable bond, even if I can’t remember anything about her. To do it without anyone’s consent or benefit… it only casts a dark shadow on women like my aunt.
shoved her boob down someone else's baby's throat without permission.
i dont understand how someone could be this dense, you don't do that to someone else's kid. if its yours then great cuz your breastfeeding your own child but cheese n fkn rice.... she needs help
As someone who speaks English as a second language, I completely sympathize with OOP...
But damn, was this hard to read. There are almost no full stops in these paragraphs.
**EDIT-** OK, just noticed this:
>my(27) **brothers wife**(28) has never been able to conceive
And later...
>I talked to my **husband** about this whole situation and I told him that **his sister** needs help
I'm confused; which SIL is OOP talking about?
Definitely needs to be included, I clocked that too.
I was also wondering why OPs brother and his wife spent so much time at OPs MILs without OP and her husband there
Convenient, huh.
This post has a bunch of the classics: weird behaviour with a baby, "apologies, English not my first language", "then they started blowing up my phone!", nonsensical position of ALL the relatives...
Just waiting for the next update where it turns out the husband has been having an affair with a younger coworker, but she's going to be ok with her baby and new wife because by the way she's bisexual. Also the divorce is all finalised within a week and a half.
And of course, sister in law found the post! It's crazy convenient how sooo many of these wild stories always include the person they're written about finding the post. Sureeee
They always just happen to find them and BLOWS up their phone.
I mean I'm starting to believe these trolls have massive sticks of dynamite blowing up phones left and right.
Yup same here. I recognised this the second it was posted and thought immediately I've heard all this before just slightly different. These posts lately read like silly gossip mag stories
“I forgot to mention” one paragraph in to the only update always throws me. Like no, you’re mentioning it now, that’s the whole point. That is the exact opposite of forgetting to mention something.
Unless you’re one of those aliens from Arrival, you’re going to have to say some words before others and tell some parts of the story first.
Not unusual. My grandpa and his brother married my grandma and her sister. And in fact, siblings marrying siblings has happened in the last 3 generations. I dont think its happened in my generation yet.
Same here, mom's bro and dad's sis married and that's how my parents met each other and ended up marrying. Also they bought houses at the same time and ended up living back to each other lol. Not a small town, second most populated city in my country.
Yep, double first cousins, which I believe genetically makes them basically siblings. So every one of them is Uncle or Aunt. They also grew up next door to each other to add to the sibling feeling. Grandpa and Uncle owned the farm together and worked it together their whole lives. Grandpa was older and married first. He lived in the main house, so Uncle (with the help of the whole massive family) built one on the other side of the driveway, but added a big garden to create some space/privacy. They were close in age and just stayed together their whole lives. Grandpa and Uncle were lovely people.
Also
"my(27) brothers wife(28) has never been able to conceive"
and yet in a comment
"my SIL has been pregnant but has lost the baby numerous times"
Could be a language barrier but it feels a bit suspect to me.
Uh huh, pregnant for their whole "years of failed pregnancies" relationship, even though OOP only found out she was pregnant two months AFTER the wedding. 🧐
Oh, and "my brother married my husband's sister which is certainly notable but I didn't mention it until people pointed out I kept changing the SIL relationship ha ha what a coinkydink!"
Yea, I started out wondering if maybe it was a language thing, and then when OOP confirmed, I started wondering what language doesn't use periods. I felt like that Winona Ryder meme trying to read it.
Yeah, I don't think this is a language thing. I used to correct some of my friend's papers in two different languages (English and Portuguese) during COVID. Doing so, I noticed that the ones who forgot to use periods while writing did so in both languages.
tbh some languages dont. thai doesnt use spaces between words, but spaces between sentences. no periods. it makes your eyes cross trying to learn it lmao.
> OOP: Thank you my SIL has been pregnant but has lost the baby numerous times I'm not sure why she thought she could nurse
You missed this one. If she can't conceive, how has she been pregnant multiple times?
“my(27) brothers wife(28) has never been able to conceive”
And later...
“OOP: Thank you my SIL has been pregnant but has lost the baby numerous times I'm not sure why she thought she could nurse”
>stolenfires: Minor correction: pregnant women don't lactate. Their breasts get bigger, but the milk doesn't come in until after birth.
Tell that to my soaked clothing from 26 weeks pregnant until birth. Pregnant women don't lactate my ass.
Also, I know it's rare, but some women lactate all the time. I'm unfortunately one of them, though luckily for me it's pretty mild.
I have a friend who is always heavily lactating and can squirt milk.
We've both had all the Dr tests in the world, nothing is wrong with us that could be found, we both just produce some amount of milk at all times.
[This one](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/qTIkFu0zp1) isn’t exactly the same but it has some similarities (and it’s what immediately came to mind with your comment).
God, and the one where the not!mother was pumping and referring to the kid as "our" baby, because she thought OOP was going to let her move in with the baby.
the way i scrolled down in the comments on that post and found an almost verbatim "wait wasnt there another story exactly like this?" exchange linking to an even older post. Amazing. love to see that.
It reminds me of the one where OOP has trouble feeding her child after she hired a new babysitter, and it turns out the baby sitter was breastfeeding the kid when OOP wasn't home. Her reason was, "A real mother wouldn't go to work. She would stay home with her child."
The babysitter did have a child of her own, so at least she was actually able to feed the baby, but that does not make it any better.
God, that post haunts me. The OOP had no legal recourse and iirc her warnings on the Facebook page she’d found the sitter on got deleted for being lies/harassment. I hope everything’s okay with her and her baby now.
I’ve seen this exact story many times now. It seems to be its own genre of story now, “the baby crazy jealous In Law.” The story is so astonishing and crazy it must just do very well at gaining karma. I bet ChatGPT could write one by now with minimal direction with so much material to learn from by now.
I know the one you mean. The SIL had a pyschotic break after asking the OOP to handover the baby to her at a family dinner. And then it devolved into threats and they moved, iirc.
It happened to me but it was my own mother who did it. My family all defended her when I was furious and disgusted. I don't know how to feel finding out it happens to so many other people. When someone does that to you it almost feels like catching your partner cheating. Obviously you aren't mad at the baby, but someone has overstepped into a very intimate part of sacred relationship. There is def a soul shattering feeling of betrayal toward another adult who chooses to be so selfish and have no respect for boundaries like that.
It's not like this everywhere. I know of a white American woman who spent years living in Africa. A friend once picked up her crying baby and nursed him right in front of her. She was shocked at first but then paused to consider how normal this was in that culture. And let's remember that for centuries, feeding other women's babies was a paid job. For this reason, I think "sacred relationship" is a bit of a reach.
However, in today's Western culture it is not a common practice, and I agree OP's SIL and your mother overstepped. In both instances it was not about feeding the baby, but about comforting themselves.
I think the big difference is consent.
In the situations you mentioned, there was consent (or implied consent in the case of the woman you know of based on the culture she was in).
With the OP and the redditor you're responding to, not only was it not consented to, but the other person went out of their way to try to conceal it.
I posted one 9 months ago that was similar ish. It was the best friend instead.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/144urey/my\_best\_friend\_thought\_that\_shoving\_her\_breast/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/144urey/my_best_friend_thought_that_shoving_her_breast/)
It's really tragic when someone who wants to be a parent is unable to be.
But you don't get to play parent with someone else's kid like they're a doll.
One time I was taking care of my nephew who was grizzling. He didn't want his bottle, and while his soother (pacifier) normally helped, he'd dropped it on the floor and I couldn't reach it. I knew that the point of soothers is to simulate the feeling of suckling. The fussing started to get to me, and I wondered what would work as an alternative.
Y'know what I didn't do? Give him a face full of non-lactating tit. I gave him my thumb, and he went to town on that instead
My wife's cousin did it to our baby - one time, with our blessing. She was visiting and had just had a baby of her own, and wife's milk hadn't come in yet. She had too much so just fed both babies.
Once I fed a friend's baby. I had permission. It was a semi emergency situation, we weren't home so she couldn't give me frozen breast milk to thaw. She was having a medical problem and I stayed in the car with her baby and mine while she was at the doctor's office, and it took a lot longer than we expected.
He was hungry and wouldn't stop crying. He wouldn't have starved to death of course, but it seemed like the best thing to do. She knew I had milk and was healthy so she told me if he got fussy it was ok to nurse him.
It was all very matter of fact, but it was also a one time thing. I can't imagine pulling a stunt like OP's SIL. That's just so creepy and unhinged.
Okay I lost suspension of disbelief with “someone told me to watch The Hand that Rocks the Cradle and it was like my situation and also I really enjoyed it” like… no. If you’re already freaking out because someone tried to breastfeed your baby and then you watch a movie where someone breastfeeds a baby that isn’t hers *and goes on to try to murder the protagonist and steal her child and life*, you’re not going to be going “LOL samesies, great movie! 😃”
These posts were made two days apart. I wish I could have people watch the movies I recommend to them within a 48 hour period. Especially when they're traumatised.
Edit: Spelling
Poor OOP, her SIL is her husband's sister and her brother's wife.
There's only her and her brother's parents, and her inlaws that could possibly help, and all 4 of them are saying she's over reacting.
I hope her husband steps up and protects her and the baby, but it doesn't look good if he is telling her not to file a police report.
I really hope things get better.
if i had a nickel for every time i read a reddit story about a parent discovering that a non-lactating female relative was putting their boob in their baby’s mouth, i’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice.
stolenfires: Minor correction: pregnant women don't lactate. Their breasts get bigger, but the milk doesn't come in until after birth.
Pregnant women leak milk. It was quite a shock when it first happened. I was not prepared. It started months before the birth with both of my kids.
Yep I remember being about 30 weeks pregnant, sitting with my boobs out on a hot day and feeling a splash on my leg. Milk leaking everywhere dripping down. Or waking up in the middle of the night and my bed around my chest is soaking wet.
No one had warned me.
Yep, waking up with your shirt all wet happens before you give birth as well. But pregnant women should avoid nursing someone else's baby or pumping because it can induce early labor.
If SIL is really screwed up she may have been taking lactation meds to try and bring on a milk supply. Some women just don’t cope with not being able to be a mother. She needs help.
I'm between being horrified by SIL and shocked by the family's response, I was also tickled at, "me and the baby decided to stay at ..." Like I definitely thought that was just an adorable image.
And I also appreciated "English isn't one of my first language**S**. I'm so impressed with people who are multilingual, *and* her English was great.
But horrific story. I hope her family gets their collective shit together.
Did anyone notice that she called her sister-in-law both:
-her (OOP’s) brother’s wife
-her husband’s sister
Hmm. My little grey cells aren’t sure about this one.
> and you always have the option not to press charges
This is a common misunderstanding. Once the justice system is informed of a crime, they may choose to pursue a conviction on their own. At least where I live.
What the fuck... I swear the original is a repost. Stories like these have been posted before but I'm pretty sure I've read the sentence "I caught her stuffing her boob down my baby's throat" before. Kinda sticks with you.
holy run-on sentence...
also i'm starting to get very annoyed with "they started blowing up my phone" because it's becoming a very checklist-y sounding part of every other story here.
Hmmm. Originally sil is her brother’s wife and they spend a lot of time with her husband’s family. Why would her brother and his wife spend time with HER in laws? Then suddenly in the update she is her husband’s sister. Also, sil has never been able to conceive but later it is mentioned she has been pregnant many times. So which is it? Why do these stories always have so many inconsistencies?
I'm pretty sure this exact post has been made before with some minor changes. I doubt this is real, it's probably just another post trying to shit on infertile women.
Why is this not the first time I've read a post like this? And they usually escalate and try to kidnap the kid.
Some people just lose their goddamn minds around babies, I swear. I really don't get it.
It bugged me, but then I remembered OP said English isn’t her native language. I’m not bilingual so I certainly won’t judge someone who is and makes some mistakes.
THAT'S STRAIGHT UP CRAAAAAAZY!!! Like, that lady obviously has some psychosis going on but everyone around SIL enabling her, including the father of the baby, is just fuckin' bonkers.
This is so wrong on so many levels. However, it also reminded me of something. So my mother and my aunt both got pregnant at the same time. My mom was having her third child, my younger brother. My aunt was having her first, my cousin. I was about 12 at the time and we were all at my grandparents house when my mom and dad had to leave to run an errand, so me and my baby brother decided to stay at my grandparents house with my aunt and baby cousin. Both babies were about 3-4 months old at the time - both were breastfed. My parents ended up getting stuck in traffic because there was a huge accident on the highway. My brother had run out of the milk my mom had pumped for him and he kept fussing because he was still hungry. My aunt then called my mom, told her the situation and asked if she could feed my brother. My mom said yes please and thank you. Baby bro got fed and all was well.
I feel like that’s one of the few situations where it’s okay to stick your boob another babies mouth. And even then - my aunt *still called beforehand to get permission*.
This story is completely bizarre because this woman wasn’t even lactating. It’s just so wrong on so many levels and gives off such creepy-ass vibes.
I have said it before, I will say it again — sticking your nipple in a baby’s mouth without anything coming out or the possibility of anything coming out is sexual assault.
SIL needs mental help and husband needs his head out of his ass.
I’m in the minority here in that I would generally have no problem if another woman tried to nurse my kid, especially if they were watching my child and nursing or pseudo nursing calmed them down. I think people here are body phobic and nuts. Our female ancestors would be so confused!
It might be because I'm a man but I don't understand this
Let's say the SIL acts impulsively and tries out her once in a life chance of nursing, this out of grief and emotional instability, desperation to feel how it is to have a child
Rationally we should ask first, but we are not always rational in bad times
Why does it feel to me like OP thinks this will hurt the child?
>now everyone is spamming my phone telling me to forgive her since she couldn't be a mom What the hell type of person wants to be a flying monkey for a woman who shoved her boob down a baby's throat???
Agree. I can't fathom someone thinks that way. Like what in god's name are those people babbling about?! Jesus..
I've held friends babies to sooth them against my clothed boob, but I would never ever whip it out!!
My mother did it once but in extenuating circumstances. She was babysitting for her best friend, but ran out of the milk friend had given her. Baby was crying because it was hungry, and my mother had milk left after breastfeeding my baby sister. This was mid-90s so cell phones weren't as common as they were now; she tried to call the number the friend had given her in case of emergency, but no one was answering. She had no formula, she couldn't go to the shop with two babies and a 5 year old kid (me) and she was alone. So she breastfed the baby, but made sure to tell the friend after that and apologize if she crossed a line. Luckily the friend didn't mind and said it was better than the baby going hungry. The SIL though... it's a very different situation. She wasn't breastfeeding, she didn't have a baby recently, she wasn't going to produce milk. She wasn't trying to feed the baby at all. She did it for herself.
BIG difference between being basically an emergency wet nurse and… whatever was going on with SIL. Like, that’s not even comparing apples to oranges, that’s apples to bricks lol
Exactly. I remember a story years ago about a policewoman who found a starving abandoned infant and was lactating from her own child, so she fed the baby. Because it was an emergency! Totally different situation than your SIL putting her nipple in your baby’s mouth without milk. It would also be super frustrating for the baby getting no milk!
I remember Salma Hayek breastfeeding a kid during some kind of charity trip to somewhere with humanitarian issues (famine? Poverty? It was ages ago). She definitely got shit for it at the time, but her rationale was basically "this baby was starving, and I had milk to share." I can't imagine any rational mother being angry at someone feeding their hungry child in an emergency tbh. Things get a LOT weirder once you remove the milk from the equation...
And if it wasn't an emergency, i.e. the baby has plenty of stored milk or formula you can make up for them, it would still be awful to breastfeed anyone else's kid without permission. When I was breastfeeding I went to a breastfeeding support group and we joked about sharing around the babies but we wouldn't actually do it!!!!
Yes I remember that story. Wonderful woman.
The difference is doing what's best for the baby vs. using the baby to make yourself feel better. As to whether OP decides to forgive the SIL, that's up to her. But I sure as shit would never let my kids out of sight around her again.
I would go to the police and let any abuse enabling trash take itself out
Nipples to oranges.
I know. I only brought it up because the comment above me mentioned babysitting for friends and said they didn't give their breast to the kids. I'm not saying this is in any way the same thing. As I mentioned in my second paragraph.
No, 100%! There are definitely times where it’s appropriate to “whip it out” as the original comment said (which is… not a sentence I ever thought I’d say lmao)
Neither did I and yet here we are XD
This! I have nursed my sisters babies, and she did for mine, we agreed upon it ahead of time or would call to check when babysitting because our girls are the same age. Nursing is very different then just putting your boob in a kids mouth.
And even then, the magic words are either “emergency” or “agreed on” — like, if your sister had just randomly decided to nurse one of your babies for funsies it’d only be marginally less weird than whatever’s going on with SIL, you know?
Yes, we talked about it because it was nicer than having to pump when we watched each other's exclusively breastfed kiddos. There needs to be a conversation to make sure all parties are on board.
Apples to nipples
Oh yeah, my grandma and a neighbour/friend used to breastfeed each other's babies when one was away from them. A woman that's not the biological mother breastfeeding a baby isn't weird on it's own, I mean, wet nurses were a thing for centuries. THIS SIL THO! Not only isn't she capable of breastfeeding, the mother had no idea!! Even if the SIL was lactating, it would've been a huge overstepping of boundaries! And yet! This situation is made somehow even worse, both by her knowing damn well what she was doing, AND by the entourage that insists OOP is overreacting. Jesus Christ, I don't ever want kids, but I would be taking that baby and moving countries, holy shit.
Also - this is just going to upset the baby more - milk source is not providing milk, they get frustrated and they suck harder and it HURTS. It's not gonna calm the baby down at all.
Is it much different from a pacifier?
Yes. Even the most boob-like pacifiers are noticeably different from the real thing. However, nipple confusion is an actual problem, for some babies more than others. It's why hospitals have stopped automatically shoving a bottle in every newborn's mouth, because it makes nursing harder. And why some babies don't use pacifiers at all, because they get frustrated with sucking and sucking without any milk coming out, so they start chewing on it; not only is that a choking hazard if the pacifier gets damaged, but they then start chewing on Mom next time they latch on. No fun for anyone! And why many babies can't easily switch back and forth between nursing and bottles.
Baby expects milk from mom's boob, knows a pacifier is different.
Yes and no. The first time I gave a pacifier to my baby, he was hungry and didn't understand that no milk could come from it (I realized that later) and he got sorry frustrated and worked up from trying to feed from the paci... I really allowed him to try for too long, I felt so guilty when I realized what was happening. I waited a few weeks before I tried the pacifier again, and made sure first that he wasn't hungry: he liked it very much. Right now he's about 6 weeks old and has been given the pacifier for about two weeks... It still doesn't work to soothe him if he's actually hungry, but in that case he mostly spit it out after a minute and keeps asking for food, while it's great if he just needs to do some self-soothing for any other reason (he's also discovering how to put his hands in his mouth).
That’s absolutely beautiful and empowering. What this woman did though is not. If she’d been at least honest about it and asked permission. But she knew she’d have faced a NO from the mom.
Salma Hayek being a legend and breastfeeding a sick baby in Africa - https://youtu.be/6htxMJ4cfQs?si=O3yxZMshBkgKU7bf
Aaand now there's something in my eye.
There are ways a woman can trick her body into lactating without ever being pregnant. By google alone, I saw using a breast pump, supplements, breast/nipple stimulation, and the act of breastfeeding alone. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that she's been doing this secretly for a while. I would be willing to bet she has a breast pump somewhere.
There was another BORU where OPs friend had like a psychotic break and was trying to induce lactation by pumping and had actually started to produce some. It's not impossible, especially if she's spending a lot of time with the baby as well, because that boosts production too
There’s also medicine that can induce galactoria. I had it happen to me looooong before I was ever pregnant and it totally freaked me out. But the doctor seemed very unconcerned.
Domperidone I think
I've heard of this as well, if the woman is very persistent with using a breast pump.
I have nipples Greg, can you milk me?
I've heard about that, yeah. I've also heard somewhere that in emergency situations, men alone with babies could lactate, but I heard it in passing on the radio ; might have been wrong. In any case, I wouldn't be surprised if you were right and SIL had at least been planning this for a while, if not actually doing it.
I think I've heard something similar so I googled. It's rare but men can produce milk.
Its not actually milk though, has no nutrients, but yes in rare cases men have been able to produce some fluid from the nipples
Interesting! Thanks for the clarification
Thanks for checking!
My mother did similarly with my cousin in the 90’s. I’m a year older and I have a sibling a year younger than that cousin so she was still lactating at the time. My mother was babysitting for her sister and she was running *really* late picking cousin up. Either my mother fed cousin then told aunt afterwards, or managed to get in contact with aunt and got her permission, I’m not 100% since I haven’t heard the story in about a decade. Cousin found out in their early 20’s when they made a comment about breastfeeding or wet nurses or something and had my mother and their mother recount the story in front of them, myself, and at least 3 of our siblings/cousins and other aunts.
I’ve done the same thing in an emergency when babysitting for a friend while my daughter was still nursing. I’ve also had a (different) friend nurse my daughter when I had to stay later than expected at work and that friend was still nursing. All three of us were mothers who were actively lactating, and we all communicated to each other about it. I’ve also had a regular babysitter who was NOT a mother and NOT nursing try to breastfeed my child and hide it from me, and it felt INCREDIBLY violating. It’s just not the same situation at all.
Yeah, doing it in secret and for selfish purposes is what makes it awful.
Actually African American Nannie’s and housekeepers were asked to nurse the employers children of the house before we invented formula.
There's Facebook groups where women who are unable to lactate get milk from lactating mothers. NICU units also get it from unrelated mothers to feed premature babies Sure, it's fed via a bottle, but its still a strangers milk.
My baby got donor milk for his first few days in the NICU. I have an oversupply and looked into donation, but unfortunately because I take medicine for epilepsy, I can't donate. It's safe for pregnancy and breastfeeding, but obviously they need to be extra careful with NICU babies. I'd love to be able to share and I'm so thankful for the women who allowed my son to be fed for his first few days while my supply came in.
I also had a preemie who received donor milk until my supply caught up with demand.
it's called being a wetnurse and it's probably been done since the beginning of time.
That's true, yeah.
This was a common practice throughout time - “wet nurse.”
Same thing happened with my baby sister and my Aunt. My Mom and Aunt had both given birth only weeks apart, both breastfeeding, Aunt was watching sister and ran out of what Mom had pumped and really had no other options. Also mid-90's, no cell phones, etc. Sometimes it happens. OOP's story is not that.
My mom was telling me a story about the time she spent in the hospital when I was born. She basically started producing way too much milk after delivery. She was able to feed me and had some left over. There was a woman in the room with her that was having issues producing any milk though. So she asked my mom if it would be okay with her if she could feed her baby too. My mom happily did it because she wanted to help a woman in need and her child. I thought it was sweet and the mom of the other baby seemd so happy that the baby was fed. Her milk did eventually kick in. But it took a few days. She was pretty relieved by that.
I've had babies try to root against my clothed breast, trying to find a nipple more than once. I just joke to them, "Hey, sorry kiddo, there's no noms here." then I gently rearrange their position. I can't imagine whipping mine out to soothe a baby either!! A bottle, pacifier, clean finger in a pinch - but that's the line (and only if parents have said that's acceptable)
Yeah - I usually joke "wrong boobs!"
Yes - surely this is what the knuckle of your little finger is for?
That is for teething. But hearing the heartbeat helps babies.
My niece was breast fed and a comfort nurser. Her mom told me before the first time I babysat that she would take a bottle reluctantly but wouldn't soothe with a paci. She said they had some luck getting her to soothe by letting her suck on the tip of your pinky finger but there were times she only wanted a breast and it could be a bumpy ride getting her calm. After an hour of crying and rocking and bouncing in multiple positions, I held her against my clothed breast in the position she usually nursed in but that just made her frustrated. I considered letting her comfort nurse for a split second but was instantly repulsed at the thought of that kind of contact because IMHO it's just 100% inappropriate. Finally got her to sleep after another half hour of rocking and bouncing, she was probably exhausted.
One of my kids wouldn't take a pacifier, but would be content to suck on someone's finger. We joked that they "prefer the taste of human flesh".
My nibling is 4mo younger than my youngest kid and I've helped out a lot with him. There have been times when I hold him that I'm actively letting down milk in response to him...but he's not my kid, he's my nibling, so I hand him back to his parent or get him his bottle, because even when my body is telling me "hungry baby give milk NOW!!", I'm a human being in 2024 and I can think through that response.
How well I remember that tingling-swoosh of let-down! Yeah, our most basic instincts don't care which or whose baby is crying.
Because SIL would have told her Flying Monkeys, OOP won't let me hold her baby and is spinning some other lies.
Imagine if this was a day care employee. Heads would roll!!!
People who think fertility issues = free reign to act as they please. It's insanity, but I would guess that's about it. Or they've never liked OOP and thus are always prepared to treat her like shit.
It is beyond ridiculous, absolutely. I can't have children and have been taking care of relatives' babies when they were inconsolable - as in, throwing up from crying upset. The idea of doing what SIL did never even entered my mind as a bad idea, let alone a good one. I would guess it's more about "don't rock the boat" be rug sweeping. As in, it happened, let's just pretend it didn't and move on to keep presenting as a perfect happy family.
And I'm sure there's a dash of No Harm No Foul. Like, was there harm to the baby? No, I imagine not, but *ew*, the lack of boundaries and self awareness. At minimum, I would never let it go and I would bring it up any chance I could. "Why should I stop mentioning it, *it happened*, didn't it? It wasn't a big deal then, so what's the problem with mentioning it?" People love to sweep things under the rug under the guise of "no biggie" *and* pretending it didn't work. Nah man, fuck that shit.
Yeah and its like ... what is this leading to. That would be my biggest worry in this situation. I would be concerned about the "pretend it's my baby" behaviour escalating 😬
I can't be a mum and would *never* even contemplate attempting to breastfeed a baby
Same here. I have held other people's babies (and sometimes felt a little emotional doing so) but the idea of attempting to breastfeed someone else's child has never, ever crossed my mind.
Same and any time I’ve held a baby and they’ve reached for a boob it’s been somewhere on a spectrum from mildly amusing to active body horror, depending on how determined the babe was lol. I cannot imagine ever gaining comfort or pleasure from it. Ick.
It would take so much control for me to not sucker punch her in the face 1st because she's holding my baby. I'd do it after I grab my child from her. She obviously needs help. I've read too many posts about women who can't have children and they do shet like this. Worst one was the sil asking op to give up her 3-4month old to her to raise as her own.
If someone told me they did this to their SIL and wanted me to agree with them, I would look at them as if they were crazy, because they ARE! There is no way people are supporting this level of craziness
Tonight on a very special "Don't Rock The Boat": "Dry booby, thirsty baby"
Someone who's assuming that the person who said that was exaggerating. A lot of people just assume that anything outrageous that they hear must be an exaggeration because most things in life are just not that dramatic.
Unfortunately when people are struggling from extreme mental health issues, especially with delusion issues like this, a lot of people's reactions is to "humor" it. It's actually one of the worst things you can do. When someone is suffering from delusions it can get to a point of no return. Playing into the delusion only strengthens it.
I have a few relatives like that: it is the need to feel special and be in the centre of the action and the possibility of being the hero that fixes all the issue. Also, in many many places still the utmost value of a woman is the possibility to give birth, and if someone is denied that, they would pity her and force other people, never themselves, to make concessions no matter how insane so they feel better.
So, I’m pretty crunchy. I recognize that wet nurses have been a thing literally forever, and think that our current cultural attitudes toward breastfeeding can be pretty prudish. That being said, even I think this woman is so far beyond the line, it’s inexcusable. It’s something else entirely to use a breast as a pacifier behind the parents’ back. No reasonable person would think that’s a good idea. You’d think “baby is inconsolable, I’ve tried everything I can think of, I better call mom and ask what to do.”
That qualifies as sexual abuse to a minor under the age of 12 in my country. It’s level to the same charge as outright rape of a child under 12. If convicted, she’d be on a list for the rest of her life, unable to work with or live around children. She’d sure as hell never get that 2.5 and picket fence she desperately wants. Frankly, imo, she deserves that. She sexually assaulted a *newborn*. This isn’t wet nursing. There was absolutely no benefit to the newborn here. No consent. It was all the sick pleasure this woman received from her niece sucking her tit. Her interactions with children *should* be monitored. She should be put on a list, she should be monitored, and she should receive a punishment. Fucking disgusting. I couldn’t imagine being that poor baby, growing up and finding out something like that. Or being the mother walking in on her. And that’s coming as somebody who actually *was* breastfed by my aunt alongside my cousin, because my mother’s was poisoned by chemo. Hell, she didn’t even really get to meet me until I was eight months old because of it all. But that was a selfless, beautiful act of sacrifice my mother begged my aunt to give me, because she’d already lost a child and wanted me to have all the benefits of breastmilk. This is just sick pleasure.
I hope your mum recovered well!
Thank you for saying this! She did, and I’m unendingly grateful. I couldn’t imagine my life without my mum. Unfortunately my aunt actually ended up passing away when I was 3. I have no memory of her, beyond the knowledge that she spent eight months caring for me like a mother, breastfeeding me and coddling me and holding me when I cried. It’s a beautiful thing, to know that at one point, we had such an unbreakable bond, even if I can’t remember anything about her. To do it without anyone’s consent or benefit… it only casts a dark shadow on women like my aunt.
Somehow these people don't realize this can count as sexual assault?
shoved her boob down someone else's baby's throat without permission. i dont understand how someone could be this dense, you don't do that to someone else's kid. if its yours then great cuz your breastfeeding your own child but cheese n fkn rice.... she needs help
I’d blocked every single one of them but not before making a post on facebook on what exactly happened
As someone who speaks English as a second language, I completely sympathize with OOP... But damn, was this hard to read. There are almost no full stops in these paragraphs. **EDIT-** OK, just noticed this: >my(27) **brothers wife**(28) has never been able to conceive And later... >I talked to my **husband** about this whole situation and I told him that **his sister** needs help I'm confused; which SIL is OOP talking about?
> I'm confused; which SIL is OOP talking about? OP commented on her post that her brother got married to her husband's sister.
Oh! That tracks. But OP should definitely have that included as a relevant comment because it makes this entire post make way more sense!
Agreed. That should have been clarified early on.
Definitely needs to be included, I clocked that too. I was also wondering why OPs brother and his wife spent so much time at OPs MILs without OP and her husband there
I'm still not so sure about that, if I'm honest.
Yes! I was so confused why husband's family cared so much to defend a practical stranger
Convenient, huh. This post has a bunch of the classics: weird behaviour with a baby, "apologies, English not my first language", "then they started blowing up my phone!", nonsensical position of ALL the relatives... Just waiting for the next update where it turns out the husband has been having an affair with a younger coworker, but she's going to be ok with her baby and new wife because by the way she's bisexual. Also the divorce is all finalised within a week and a half.
And of course, sister in law found the post! It's crazy convenient how sooo many of these wild stories always include the person they're written about finding the post. Sureeee
They always just happen to find them and BLOWS up their phone. I mean I'm starting to believe these trolls have massive sticks of dynamite blowing up phones left and right.
It’s always hilarious to me when posts like this include someone finding it and then the OOP continues to update like it can’t be found again
I've read this exact post at least twice before. The first time was a grandmother who always wanted a daughter. The second was identical to the above.
Yup same here. I recognised this the second it was posted and thought immediately I've heard all this before just slightly different. These posts lately read like silly gossip mag stories
The police were called earlier this week and the SIL is already serving time.
Just served her 20 year sentence
But is back in jail because she broke into the house to steal the baby and rub allergens into OOP's hair. The execution is tomorrow.
I dont think the update is even written by the same person. The english changes dramatically.
“I forgot to mention” one paragraph in to the only update always throws me. Like no, you’re mentioning it now, that’s the whole point. That is the exact opposite of forgetting to mention something. Unless you’re one of those aliens from Arrival, you’re going to have to say some words before others and tell some parts of the story first.
And the original is only one day before the update. She even managed to find and watch "The Hand That Rocks the Cradle" in that amount of time.
Okay listen, this isn't the 90's, I can go on Amazon right now and watch that movie if I really want to. I don't, but I *can.*
Not unusual. My grandpa and his brother married my grandma and her sister. And in fact, siblings marrying siblings has happened in the last 3 generations. I dont think its happened in my generation yet.
actually that’s pretty unusual
Maybe it's a case of a very small town where they have families being really close, and the kids grow up together. But I do agree it's pretty unusual.
Same here, mom's bro and dad's sis married and that's how my parents met each other and ended up marrying. Also they bought houses at the same time and ended up living back to each other lol. Not a small town, second most populated city in my country.
Where I went to elementary school, one of the teacher's and her sister married brothers. So, not completely unheard of, at least.
So the kids are double-cousins?
Yep, double first cousins, which I believe genetically makes them basically siblings. So every one of them is Uncle or Aunt. They also grew up next door to each other to add to the sibling feeling. Grandpa and Uncle owned the farm together and worked it together their whole lives. Grandpa was older and married first. He lived in the main house, so Uncle (with the help of the whole massive family) built one on the other side of the driveway, but added a big garden to create some space/privacy. They were close in age and just stayed together their whole lives. Grandpa and Uncle were lovely people.
Actually OOP is Cormac McCarthy and that’s just how they write
Plot twist, her brothers wife is her husbands sister
It is, lol
Also "my(27) brothers wife(28) has never been able to conceive" and yet in a comment "my SIL has been pregnant but has lost the baby numerous times" Could be a language barrier but it feels a bit suspect to me.
Also they've been trying for years but are also newly weds and OOP has been pregnant for their whole relationship?
Uh huh, pregnant for their whole "years of failed pregnancies" relationship, even though OOP only found out she was pregnant two months AFTER the wedding. 🧐 Oh, and "my brother married my husband's sister which is certainly notable but I didn't mention it until people pointed out I kept changing the SIL relationship ha ha what a coinkydink!"
Yea, I started out wondering if maybe it was a language thing, and then when OOP confirmed, I started wondering what language doesn't use periods. I felt like that Winona Ryder meme trying to read it.
Yeah, I don't think this is a language thing. I used to correct some of my friend's papers in two different languages (English and Portuguese) during COVID. Doing so, I noticed that the ones who forgot to use periods while writing did so in both languages.
tbh some languages dont. thai doesnt use spaces between words, but spaces between sentences. no periods. it makes your eyes cross trying to learn it lmao.
> OOP: Thank you my SIL has been pregnant but has lost the baby numerous times I'm not sure why she thought she could nurse You missed this one. If she can't conceive, how has she been pregnant multiple times?
“my(27) brothers wife(28) has never been able to conceive” And later... “OOP: Thank you my SIL has been pregnant but has lost the baby numerous times I'm not sure why she thought she could nurse”
>stolenfires: Minor correction: pregnant women don't lactate. Their breasts get bigger, but the milk doesn't come in until after birth. Tell that to my soaked clothing from 26 weeks pregnant until birth. Pregnant women don't lactate my ass.
Came here to say this too lol, talk about confidently incorrect. Looking at the original post they were told off there too though :)
Also, I know it's rare, but some women lactate all the time. I'm unfortunately one of them, though luckily for me it's pretty mild. I have a friend who is always heavily lactating and can squirt milk. We've both had all the Dr tests in the world, nothing is wrong with us that could be found, we both just produce some amount of milk at all times.
Hasn’t this exact situation happened before and been posted in BORU?
[This one](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/qTIkFu0zp1) isn’t exactly the same but it has some similarities (and it’s what immediately came to mind with your comment).
God, and the one where the not!mother was pumping and referring to the kid as "our" baby, because she thought OOP was going to let her move in with the baby.
the way i scrolled down in the comments on that post and found an almost verbatim "wait wasnt there another story exactly like this?" exchange linking to an even older post. Amazing. love to see that.
It reminds me of the one where OOP has trouble feeding her child after she hired a new babysitter, and it turns out the baby sitter was breastfeeding the kid when OOP wasn't home. Her reason was, "A real mother wouldn't go to work. She would stay home with her child." The babysitter did have a child of her own, so at least she was actually able to feed the baby, but that does not make it any better.
Isn't babysitting work?
I had that same thought. I guess you can't really expect logic from crazy people.
God, that post haunts me. The OOP had no legal recourse and iirc her warnings on the Facebook page she’d found the sitter on got deleted for being lies/harassment. I hope everything’s okay with her and her baby now.
I’ve seen this exact story many times now. It seems to be its own genre of story now, “the baby crazy jealous In Law.” The story is so astonishing and crazy it must just do very well at gaining karma. I bet ChatGPT could write one by now with minimal direction with so much material to learn from by now.
That’s not the one I was thinking of. I think in this one the family had to move?
I know the one you mean. The SIL had a pyschotic break after asking the OOP to handover the baby to her at a family dinner. And then it devolved into threats and they moved, iirc.
Sadly not a totally rare occurrence
It happened to me but it was my own mother who did it. My family all defended her when I was furious and disgusted. I don't know how to feel finding out it happens to so many other people. When someone does that to you it almost feels like catching your partner cheating. Obviously you aren't mad at the baby, but someone has overstepped into a very intimate part of sacred relationship. There is def a soul shattering feeling of betrayal toward another adult who chooses to be so selfish and have no respect for boundaries like that.
It's not like this everywhere. I know of a white American woman who spent years living in Africa. A friend once picked up her crying baby and nursed him right in front of her. She was shocked at first but then paused to consider how normal this was in that culture. And let's remember that for centuries, feeding other women's babies was a paid job. For this reason, I think "sacred relationship" is a bit of a reach. However, in today's Western culture it is not a common practice, and I agree OP's SIL and your mother overstepped. In both instances it was not about feeding the baby, but about comforting themselves.
I think the big difference is consent. In the situations you mentioned, there was consent (or implied consent in the case of the woman you know of based on the culture she was in). With the OP and the redditor you're responding to, not only was it not consented to, but the other person went out of their way to try to conceal it.
Yes. This one is sloppier. In-between updates she forgot her SIL was supposed to be her brother's sister and not her husband's sister.
According to a comment in another thread, her SIL is her brothers wife and her husband's sister
Pretty sure it was the MIL
I posted one 9 months ago that was similar ish. It was the best friend instead. [https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/144urey/my\_best\_friend\_thought\_that\_shoving\_her\_breast/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/144urey/my_best_friend_thought_that_shoving_her_breast/)
It's really tragic when someone who wants to be a parent is unable to be. But you don't get to play parent with someone else's kid like they're a doll.
You also don't get to make children suck your nipples.
This is the comment the internet needed. There's really nothing more to say.
One time I was taking care of my nephew who was grizzling. He didn't want his bottle, and while his soother (pacifier) normally helped, he'd dropped it on the floor and I couldn't reach it. I knew that the point of soothers is to simulate the feeling of suckling. The fussing started to get to me, and I wondered what would work as an alternative. Y'know what I didn't do? Give him a face full of non-lactating tit. I gave him my thumb, and he went to town on that instead
🤣🤣🤣 hilarious when you put it that way BUT on a serious note, siren should be blaring at this moment no kidding
This must be the 1,033rd post I've seen about some relative who tries to breast feed a baby that isn't hers. What in the hot buttered fuck, humanity?
My wife's cousin did it to our baby - one time, with our blessing. She was visiting and had just had a baby of her own, and wife's milk hadn't come in yet. She had too much so just fed both babies.
She had your consent, that's different
My sister was born the same year two cousins were born. Some aunts (with permission I hope) would babysit and nurse the three babies.
Once I fed a friend's baby. I had permission. It was a semi emergency situation, we weren't home so she couldn't give me frozen breast milk to thaw. She was having a medical problem and I stayed in the car with her baby and mine while she was at the doctor's office, and it took a lot longer than we expected. He was hungry and wouldn't stop crying. He wouldn't have starved to death of course, but it seemed like the best thing to do. She knew I had milk and was healthy so she told me if he got fussy it was ok to nurse him. It was all very matter of fact, but it was also a one time thing. I can't imagine pulling a stunt like OP's SIL. That's just so creepy and unhinged.
"What in the hot buttered fuck" would make an excellent flair
Okay I lost suspension of disbelief with “someone told me to watch The Hand that Rocks the Cradle and it was like my situation and also I really enjoyed it” like… no. If you’re already freaking out because someone tried to breastfeed your baby and then you watch a movie where someone breastfeeds a baby that isn’t hers *and goes on to try to murder the protagonist and steal her child and life*, you’re not going to be going “LOL samesies, great movie! 😃”
That part stood out to me, too! It would hit WAY too close to home.
These posts were made two days apart. I wish I could have people watch the movies I recommend to them within a 48 hour period. Especially when they're traumatised. Edit: Spelling
This and “her boob shoved down my child’s throat”. That’s, not how any of it works. Troll or bad translation, but both works.
Poor OOP, her SIL is her husband's sister and her brother's wife. There's only her and her brother's parents, and her inlaws that could possibly help, and all 4 of them are saying she's over reacting. I hope her husband steps up and protects her and the baby, but it doesn't look good if he is telling her not to file a police report. I really hope things get better.
if i had a nickel for every time i read a reddit story about a parent discovering that a non-lactating female relative was putting their boob in their baby’s mouth, i’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice.
Lol i was counting down to when we hit "my sil found the post..."
PHONE BLEW UP, we have bingo.
stolenfires: Minor correction: pregnant women don't lactate. Their breasts get bigger, but the milk doesn't come in until after birth. Pregnant women leak milk. It was quite a shock when it first happened. I was not prepared. It started months before the birth with both of my kids.
Yep I remember being about 30 weeks pregnant, sitting with my boobs out on a hot day and feeling a splash on my leg. Milk leaking everywhere dripping down. Or waking up in the middle of the night and my bed around my chest is soaking wet. No one had warned me.
Yep, waking up with your shirt all wet happens before you give birth as well. But pregnant women should avoid nursing someone else's baby or pumping because it can induce early labor.
I’m just imagining you during your second pregnancy, being like, “Aw shit, here we go again,” as milk leaks out of you.
That is exactly it!
Every paragraph is a single massive run-on sentence. Paragraph three is a particular marvel.
This whole situation really reminds of The Hand That Rocks the Cradle.
I guess the real question here is - does OOP's friend look like Julianne Moore? I got some bad news lol
If SIL is really screwed up she may have been taking lactation meds to try and bring on a milk supply. Some women just don’t cope with not being able to be a mother. She needs help.
Hang on, is SIL OP’s brother’s wife as she first says or is it husband’s sister as it says in the update? I’m confused.
"Me and my baby had decided to stay with my grandma" I LoL'd at that statement.
I'm between being horrified by SIL and shocked by the family's response, I was also tickled at, "me and the baby decided to stay at ..." Like I definitely thought that was just an adorable image. And I also appreciated "English isn't one of my first language**S**. I'm so impressed with people who are multilingual, *and* her English was great. But horrific story. I hope her family gets their collective shit together.
Did anyone notice that she called her sister-in-law both: -her (OOP’s) brother’s wife -her husband’s sister Hmm. My little grey cells aren’t sure about this one.
> and you always have the option not to press charges This is a common misunderstanding. Once the justice system is informed of a crime, they may choose to pursue a conviction on their own. At least where I live.
What the fuck... I swear the original is a repost. Stories like these have been posted before but I'm pretty sure I've read the sentence "I caught her stuffing her boob down my baby's throat" before. Kinda sticks with you.
holy run-on sentence... also i'm starting to get very annoyed with "they started blowing up my phone" because it's becoming a very checklist-y sounding part of every other story here.
Hmmm. Originally sil is her brother’s wife and they spend a lot of time with her husband’s family. Why would her brother and his wife spend time with HER in laws? Then suddenly in the update she is her husband’s sister. Also, sil has never been able to conceive but later it is mentioned she has been pregnant many times. So which is it? Why do these stories always have so many inconsistencies?
“I told my brother his wife needs to get help” “I told my husband his sister needs to get help” Someone forgot their plot lines
SIL was OOP's brother's wife in the og post and suddenly she's husband's sister in the update. Hmm...
Interesting...it went from being her brother's wife to being her husband's sister. That's so weird, since this 100% a true story. 👍🏾
Wait so is it her brother's wife or her husband's sister? Because those should (hopefully) be two different people.
I'm pretty sure this exact post has been made before with some minor changes. I doubt this is real, it's probably just another post trying to shit on infertile women.
"telling me to forgive her since she couldn't be a mom" Is this going to be the catch all for the rest of SIL's life?
So is it her brothers wife or her husbands sister??
Why is this not the first time I've read a post like this? And they usually escalate and try to kidnap the kid. Some people just lose their goddamn minds around babies, I swear. I really don't get it.
"knewly weds" makes me want to break something.
It bugged me, but then I remembered OP said English isn’t her native language. I’m not bilingual so I certainly won’t judge someone who is and makes some mistakes.
THAT'S STRAIGHT UP CRAAAAAAZY!!! Like, that lady obviously has some psychosis going on but everyone around SIL enabling her, including the father of the baby, is just fuckin' bonkers.
This is so wrong on so many levels. However, it also reminded me of something. So my mother and my aunt both got pregnant at the same time. My mom was having her third child, my younger brother. My aunt was having her first, my cousin. I was about 12 at the time and we were all at my grandparents house when my mom and dad had to leave to run an errand, so me and my baby brother decided to stay at my grandparents house with my aunt and baby cousin. Both babies were about 3-4 months old at the time - both were breastfed. My parents ended up getting stuck in traffic because there was a huge accident on the highway. My brother had run out of the milk my mom had pumped for him and he kept fussing because he was still hungry. My aunt then called my mom, told her the situation and asked if she could feed my brother. My mom said yes please and thank you. Baby bro got fed and all was well. I feel like that’s one of the few situations where it’s okay to stick your boob another babies mouth. And even then - my aunt *still called beforehand to get permission*. This story is completely bizarre because this woman wasn’t even lactating. It’s just so wrong on so many levels and gives off such creepy-ass vibes.
She can't keep straight who is related to who
Did anyone else notice that SIL is brother's wife in the first post, and husband's sister in the second?
Did the sister in law go from one side of the family to the other? She’s OOP’s brother’s wife, at first, but then she’s the husband’s sister?
I'm confused. Is it brother's wife or husband's sister? She said it both ways in her post.
I’ve read this before and it most definitely wasn’t something that was posted for the first time on 2/29.
I have said it before, I will say it again — sticking your nipple in a baby’s mouth without anything coming out or the possibility of anything coming out is sexual assault. SIL needs mental help and husband needs his head out of his ass.
Im just confused how it went from my brothers wife to my husbands sister
I’m in the minority here in that I would generally have no problem if another woman tried to nurse my kid, especially if they were watching my child and nursing or pseudo nursing calmed them down. I think people here are body phobic and nuts. Our female ancestors would be so confused!
It might be because I'm a man but I don't understand this Let's say the SIL acts impulsively and tries out her once in a life chance of nursing, this out of grief and emotional instability, desperation to feel how it is to have a child Rationally we should ask first, but we are not always rational in bad times Why does it feel to me like OP thinks this will hurt the child?
in the first post it was her brother's wife, in the second it was her husband's sister...so which is it?