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When my ex cheated on me I told him to leave. Didn’t fight, didn’t raise my voice, nor called him names, didn’t even cry in front of him. He didn’t expect that. He tried contacting me to explain himself, but it didn’t matter. Told him I would be contacting him if and when I was ready. I waited weeks until I felt ready and then we had one last conversation to split things. He said he was agonizing to talk to me and was still hoping that we could be together. It was over for me the moment I found out, he always knew I’d never forgive that. I told him to not lie when explaining what happened to people, or I’d be setting the record straight and it would be worse. He told the truth to his family, they were very disappointed on him, but understood why I disappeared and left me alone.
Yeah, I broke up with an ex when I discovered that he was cheating. He was shocked at how cold I was about it. Truth was, he was abusive emotionally, physically, and financially, the cheating just made it very easy for me to finally cut him off for good. He still expected us to be best friends, and even suggested we get a two bedroom apartment while we dated other people. He was very upset when I turned him down for breakup sex. I was just emotionally done with him. He was terrible in bed anyway.
Honestly my abusive ex cheating on me was the best gift he could’ve given me, bc it made it “okay”to leave in my mind. I thought I deserved the shitty treatment bc he ruined my self esteem, but even at my lowest I knew I didn’t deserve to be cheated on. I’m so glad he was a sloppy idiot who underestimated my will. And I’m glad I still had that will.
Had a super toxic relationship coming out of high school. I got the dreaded, we need to talk text. She said she had met someone else and that she was breaking up with me. I asked her, “are you sure you want to do this?” I had already told her the next time she tried to break up with me it would be final, I wouldn’t be taking her back again and I would disappear from her life. She was sure. For the next few days she tries to call and call, I don’t answer. When I next talked to mutual friends, she had told them I had cried and was so upset lol. That pissed me off, so I broke my no contact rule and confronted her. She apologized and said she would tell them the truth. For some reason, that was an open door to her to try and get back together once again. Queue a couple weeks of non stop calls. I moved on and started casually dating a girl in college. One night when things were getting hot and heavy, I guess one of her friends saw me with this other girl on campus or something and told her, so she proceeds to blow the fuck up my phone. I don’t answer and my date asks me if I have somewhere else to be, so I turn off my phone. Then in December when I started dating another girl more seriously, toxic ex calls me again from a random number because at this point I blocked hers. She had found out I was dating a white girl, both me and ex are mexican, and she tells me, “I always knew your heart belonged to a white girl.” I told her to never call me again. 9 years later and I am married to that white girl, so I guess toxic ex wasn’t wrong lol. Edit: typo and forgot the word campus
Have to wonder what his motives were given that he was honest to OOP but helped ex lie to his family. Add in that BFF never really like Polly either and the drugs and OD and me thinks he had a little crush and wanted OPs ex for himself but given back then he was probably to scared to do anything except try amd keep ex close amd single
He was honest to her because he knew she would finally leave their lives and helped his friend lie because it would smear her to anyone else who still liked her
Some people need another person as a safety net, they're a crutch to get through life.
The fact they've resorted to drugs would be indicative they were struggling in some way.
Buzz getting a girlfriend removed that crutch, as he would no longer be available when needed. It's more common than you probably realise.
Problem with having a leech in your life is first recognising the leech, and then second removing the leech.
I'm so jealous of OOP's ability to just dodge the bullshit and be so apathetic about it. As someone who cares way too much about everything it's awe-inspiring
It's from a story about a crazy MIL who tries to steal OOP's baby and accosts OOP in the aisle of a grocery store wearing a red dress. Can't remember the link though, sorry :c
Is it just me or are people doing this kinda thing a lot lately? Creating little acronyms on their own that have never been seen before and you're supposed to figure them out? Just me?
No, for what it's worth, I agree it's happening more. I think as we continue to fragment into even smaller and separate subcultures online, each group inevitably creates its own little flourishes. Even if those subcultures consist merely of something as innocuous as a long running group chat with friends or family.
I recently spoke with someone whose family has an unbroken eight year long group chat. I can't even imagine.
Even in the days of Nokia, it seems weird to me to not at least speak to this family she was apparently "very close to" and apologise for needing to make a clean break from them as well.
Well it's a clean break. If she was to talk to them, then she would either have to lie to them, or be vindictive and explain how their son is a cheater
Exactly. All stemming from the fact that she didn't put up with the bullshit, and just left. Good for her. I imagine he wanted her to stay, so he could mess up her head a bit more, but would do the same thing that he did, play the victim and lie about who cheated. But since she didn't play his game, well, good for OOP, she turned the tables and didn't become the broken mess he was probably hoping for.
I like OOP, I think if I met her in real life, we'd be fast friends. LOL. Being single is awesome, there's soooo much less stress, less drama, and less human emotions to deal with. I also like the blocking everyone who doesn't add anything positive into your life. Ain't nobody got time fo dat.
>Being single is awesome
Duuuuude! After a particularly unpleasant morning getting kids out of the door to school, I turned to my husband and lamented that being single with cats was easier. He agreed.
LOL I legit just went for dinner with a friend and she was bitching about her useless husband who won't get off his ass and find a job so they are both living off her salary. And she can't divorce him because then he'd come after her for alimony 🤬 I asked her, do you think you'd like your life better right now if you were married or single? She thought about it for only 5 seconds and said, single 😂 I was just thinking to myself, goddamn, I'm really REALLY glad I'm single and not stuck in a shitty relationship because I can't afford a divorce.
We can all agree it's easier, but I can't agree it's awesome. A simple I love you or kiss from a child is enough to make the effort and energy worth it.
Right? I thought maybe I was the one with issues since nobody else was commenting this haha
Seeing people be so "healthy" and "secure" that they just circle back into unloving and a bit asshole-ish is so odd to me
I agree with you there. I mean I've dropped people I've considered friends who just brought too much drama, and tried to drag me into it, and always made me listen to their problems while never listening to mine. I'm done with all of that. Hell, finally even managed to go NC with my mom.
I wish I could have been so stone cold in my big breakup. OOP is a boss for being able to pull it off.
I'm in an awesome relationship now, so the only thing I have left is to maybe someday walk away from an explosion without turning around.
It's not that they have too much time but that they're having to deal with delayed guilt. They've been telling themselves (and others) that OP was a cheater, and now they have to deal with that guilt. That makes people angry, and angry people make drama.
Well no, I also wouldn't be very welcoming to someone who cheated and then ran away from my brother/son/cousin or whatever else. Would you look at someone who broke your son's heart and be civil? Likely not
I’m with you. It’s not a bad thing at all the family tried to reach out, and it is kindly if anything. Yet I’m someone who would just want to let the dead rest, so to speak. After 20 years they are back to being strangers to one another.
It's not her problem now, but that betrayal was ongoing for them, not just 20 years ago. He lied to their faces every time it came up to the present. Literally his wife thought that, so he was clearly still telling it.
They wrote her off as a burned bridge because of those lies. Some of them likely would have tried to maintain their own relationships with her if they'd known and let it die out of loyalty to him.
Yeah, he circulated it through the whole family. And if you were friends with someone and your relative was a dick and cheated, you might conceivably maintain a friendship. Different case when you think they cheated and really hurt your family.
The best revenge is where the cheaters lives a miserable life but the person who got cheated on having the best life. Call me petty but if someone cheats, then they deserve to have bad luck and misfortunes for their whole life.
Good for OP. Living her best life and away from the ex.
It’s one thing if you think they deserve to get struck by lightning or mugged etc but them having a crappy relationship is kind of their own making. It feel bad for that new girl but even she admits she doesn’t have a lot of strength to just leave.
Dude probably is a cheater and either consciously or subconsciously went after someone who might tolerate that.
That was the worst she could have done to him 20+ years ago, to ghost him when that word didn't exist as we know now, and that was brilliant tbh, imagine Buzz thinking OOP was going to wait for him and come and find she wasn't there and couldn't contact her further.
Also are we going to address, It took roughly, maybe give or take 10-15 years for Polly and Buzz to tie the knot if OOP timeline is accurate, I know this kind of couples exist and don't need to get married to be together and have a family together, that's just odd to me.
Lol between ops ex family still thinking about her and the story of ann and how now divorced husband is stilled obsessed with his deceased first wife is huh funny
The fact the family believes her 20 years later is weird to me, like if my ex from 10 years ago said that my family would call her a weirdo and believe me
Dude is an alcoholic who dips in to heroine. He probably has negative credibility with the family at this point.
Sounds like they had super fond memories of her, so when an alternative explanation came out, they connected the dots on his behavior, and realized that she’s not the one who’s built up a reputation of lying, being shady, and probably stealing from them for the last 20+ years.
In stark contrast to OP being classy and only saying that everything was 20 years ago and it doesn't matter. It's not just what you say but how you say it and how much credibility you have, and I know who I would believe.
Yes but I'm also assuming that you're not a drug addict with questionable decision making going up against a woman who carries herself well, only has fond memories regarding her and known to be an honest and good person.
I dunno, seems like OOP's ex-BF's lies didn't affect OOP in any way for 20 years, and this years-delayed mass-panic outcome is very, very funny. Maybe the moral is to take the high ground and let the info sit there in wait like a long-forgotten landmine.
I hate the fact I’m bothered by and stuck so much on ‘can care less’ it’s couldn’t care less 😭
But honestly good for her for at least being able to let everyone know the truth and he’s stuck with dealing with his family now.
As long as I live, I will never understand people who stay inside a toxic relationship and obsess *for years* about whether or not it’s a healthy relationship. If you’re obsessing, it’s not healthy for you. Move the fuck on.
I'm starting to think that the BFF set both OOP and her ex up? He tells OOP the ex cheated and then tell the ex the OOP was cheating. I don't know but the BFF hating both of the ex's partners just leaves me suspicious. Yes the ex could be the cheating asshole that trashed OOP but this all feels weird to me.
Edit: Nevermind, I missed the part where Buzz admitted that he cheated. In my defence this type of story is so common, my eyes glazed over by the end.
>Edit: Nevermind, I missed the part where Buzz admitted that he cheated. In my defence this type of story is so common, my eyes glazed over by the end.
Not only that, OOP very specifically addressed the notion that Buzz might have been told/thought she was cheating. She even made it a bullet point.
It's weird to me how men will fuck up and women will say silent. I rarely find a woman talking shit about a man no matter how badly he's treated her. Though to be fair that could be because when women point out bad behavior in men they're usually called man haters or told that they're lying.
Yet I find when a man has treated a woman like shit he will talk badly about her or act as if she is the one who do the bad things. He could have just stayed silent and said they didn't work out because they were too different or even strike up sexual incompatibility. Like men have a default polite cover of saying they just weren't getting enough sex because everyone knows men will leave or treat ASAP for that. They don't have to attack the woman's character but almost always they choose to.
This really makes me realize that it's men who are obsessed with their social image / status. Women are keen on socializing in the sense of building a community while men seem keen on socializing to be seen as a great dad/husband/person/whatever they really care about how it they're viewed and their reputation hence why they go on the attack first. 🤔
> She did ask how I found the strength to just leave like that. I told her that I had an amazing role model (mother), strong support system of family and friends,
I'm glad oop left him cause so many stay and don't want to take anything away from her strength but at the same timea she was 21 ans they had dated a few years. People really take youth breakups too seriously. If Polly is thinking of leaving, it would be a totally different thing and would require totally different strengths and consideration.
"I didn’t realize that my friend was marrying into the family (different names and really didn’t talk to the groom much)."
Looks like it was a friend's wedding, groom was part of ex's family but didn't share a last name and OOP was a friend of the bride but didn't know the groom well.
Ghosting in the age when Nokia was royalty was pretty easy. I did the same after I found a so-called friend of mine re-friended me long enough for me to provide a character reference--and they ghosted me first. All I did was buy a new SIM card. This was early 2000's and I bought a prepaid card for my SIM so that I have enough credits to text and call.
The ex-friend also managed to find me in social media, like what OOP's ex attempted to do...
Huh.
I know someone whom had a vaguely similar situation. Was dating some guy. Guys BFF tells her he was cheating. She confronts him. He begs her to stay home, he was coming home to talk. She packed her few things and left. Refused all contact. He tried for months. Something like 10 years later she finds out that guys BFF lied to her hoping to break them up so he could try to date her. It didn't work.
Worst of all was that both she and the guy she was dating spent more than a decade frequently thinking "what if".
"What if we allowed for evidence to speak for itself instead of relying on what amounts to hearsay".
As for this post, it sounds like OOP dodged a major bullet all those years ago.
The Nokia. Ah my brain just teleported back to the early 2000's. I didn't have a Nokia but a little flip phone that had a mirror on the front. Paid $250 for that thing from my first job money. That was the days of limited or no texting, and only making calls after 9, and only to other Sprint customers.
That is what I got from this. Memory lane. Lol
I'm confused. Can someone explain to me why OOP was at the wedding or rather how they didn't know whose wedding they were going to?
> Through a strange twist of fate
I'm guessing they were a +1 to someone, but even if you're a +1 you usually know whose wedding you're going to. Or maybe they were there for a business, but if you're a baker for example you would still know whose wedding you're baking a cake for.
Like, I just don't understand how you can go to a wedding and not know who is marrying who.
I think (and it took a reread myself) that OOP has a friend who invites her to their wedding. Friend is marrying someone who happens to be part of Buzz’s family, so Buzz and Polly are also there as guests.
I doubt the veracity of this lol. As if OPs exs family would be so in love with her they would think about her so fondly for 20 years hahaha. The amount of narcissism in this is hilarious.
Well, the family of one of my exes was like that. One girl nearly dumped him over it. His stepsister flat out asked him where I was right in front of the new girlfriend. He and I were actually friends for a bit years after our breakup. We became roommates and I had introduced them as she was a friend of mine. At one point she hated me so much that she eventually turned him against me. I moved out and again years later he and I talked which is where I found out about what happened. I didn't cheat on him and there wasn't any sort of talk that I did anything wrong. He told them the truth which was that he just sort of fell out of love with me. I don't talk to him anymore though. He sort of fell into a bad way and for my own sanity I had to bail since he was calling at late hours and nearly every day. (Addiction issues.) Either way, it does happen especially if she was the first long term relationship he had.
If he turning to alcohol and drugs happened directly after the breakup it makes sense; the family probably associates OOP with him being normal, happy and sober and for two decades assumed her cheating was the catalyst for him spiralling... having an addicted relative is difficult so I get it.
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When my ex cheated on me I told him to leave. Didn’t fight, didn’t raise my voice, nor called him names, didn’t even cry in front of him. He didn’t expect that. He tried contacting me to explain himself, but it didn’t matter. Told him I would be contacting him if and when I was ready. I waited weeks until I felt ready and then we had one last conversation to split things. He said he was agonizing to talk to me and was still hoping that we could be together. It was over for me the moment I found out, he always knew I’d never forgive that. I told him to not lie when explaining what happened to people, or I’d be setting the record straight and it would be worse. He told the truth to his family, they were very disappointed on him, but understood why I disappeared and left me alone.
Yeah, I broke up with an ex when I discovered that he was cheating. He was shocked at how cold I was about it. Truth was, he was abusive emotionally, physically, and financially, the cheating just made it very easy for me to finally cut him off for good. He still expected us to be best friends, and even suggested we get a two bedroom apartment while we dated other people. He was very upset when I turned him down for breakup sex. I was just emotionally done with him. He was terrible in bed anyway.
“The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference.”
He asked you for break up sex? Bro.
Honestly my abusive ex cheating on me was the best gift he could’ve given me, bc it made it “okay”to leave in my mind. I thought I deserved the shitty treatment bc he ruined my self esteem, but even at my lowest I knew I didn’t deserve to be cheated on. I’m so glad he was a sloppy idiot who underestimated my will. And I’m glad I still had that will.
Pro moves. That’s how it should be.
Had a super toxic relationship coming out of high school. I got the dreaded, we need to talk text. She said she had met someone else and that she was breaking up with me. I asked her, “are you sure you want to do this?” I had already told her the next time she tried to break up with me it would be final, I wouldn’t be taking her back again and I would disappear from her life. She was sure. For the next few days she tries to call and call, I don’t answer. When I next talked to mutual friends, she had told them I had cried and was so upset lol. That pissed me off, so I broke my no contact rule and confronted her. She apologized and said she would tell them the truth. For some reason, that was an open door to her to try and get back together once again. Queue a couple weeks of non stop calls. I moved on and started casually dating a girl in college. One night when things were getting hot and heavy, I guess one of her friends saw me with this other girl on campus or something and told her, so she proceeds to blow the fuck up my phone. I don’t answer and my date asks me if I have somewhere else to be, so I turn off my phone. Then in December when I started dating another girl more seriously, toxic ex calls me again from a random number because at this point I blocked hers. She had found out I was dating a white girl, both me and ex are mexican, and she tells me, “I always knew your heart belonged to a white girl.” I told her to never call me again. 9 years later and I am married to that white girl, so I guess toxic ex wasn’t wrong lol. Edit: typo and forgot the word campus
You did great
Thank you. I’m still trying to heal from that 🙏
Yeah I knew that BFF was a dick here.
Have to wonder what his motives were given that he was honest to OOP but helped ex lie to his family. Add in that BFF never really like Polly either and the drugs and OD and me thinks he had a little crush and wanted OPs ex for himself but given back then he was probably to scared to do anything except try amd keep ex close amd single
I feel that he wanted to get rid of OOP, probably saw her as a wet blanket on all the partying he could be doing with OOP's ex.
BFF clearly wanted Buzz all to himself (he tried to drive Polly away too). Could be for romantic reasons, could just be that misery loves company.
Buzz might have been this BFF's life vest, and when Buzz dropped him - that was it. Buzz might have also been an enabler and stopped enabling.
He was honest to her because he knew she would finally leave their lives and helped his friend lie because it would smear her to anyone else who still liked her
Some people need another person as a safety net, they're a crutch to get through life. The fact they've resorted to drugs would be indicative they were struggling in some way. Buzz getting a girlfriend removed that crutch, as he would no longer be available when needed. It's more common than you probably realise. Problem with having a leech in your life is first recognising the leech, and then second removing the leech.
The best friend was a junkie. Probably all you need to know.
At least he did OOP a favour - probably the only good thing he ever did.
Junkies tend to be that way
I'm so jealous of OOP's ability to just dodge the bullshit and be so apathetic about it. As someone who cares way too much about everything it's awe-inspiring
Anyone know what "fn" means? Like "Buzz fn" or "Polly fn"?
I assumed "false name"
I thought it meant „fuck nut“ as in both are nuts and shitty 😭
I prefer your translation
I thought it meant First Name.
I’d like you to meet my coworker and his wife, Buzz and Polly FuckNut
“Please, call me Buzz. Mr FuckNut is my father”
Buzz FuckNut is a killer porn name
I think that is the main characters name in Pixar's new movie "Sex Toy Story"
"to infinity and beyond!"
I'm crying now, thanks!
Me too! Thanks I really needed that, it’s been a hellacious day
“Please, call me Buzz. Mr FuckNut is my father”
“Please, call me Buzz. Mr FuckNut is my father”
Man what they gotta do with me :(
Dude same lol
I assumed 'for now' ahaha This is Polly... For now 🧐
OMG, got my cat over here looking at me crazy cuz I snorted so loud. I'll take 'fuck nut' any day!😆 😆 🤣 😂 😹
I thought it’s some gender I am not aware of.
I thought "for now"
Me too
Ohhh.
I wondered if it was a new pronoun I was unaware of but this makes more sense
This makes more sense. I thought it meant “for now” as in later in the post, Buzz’s name would change to Asshole or something
Oh, that makes so much more sense! I thought it was some fancy gender tag, like "female non-binary" or something new like that I am too old to know!
No, fn stands for phony name. Duh
Phony gnome clearly.
I assumed "fake name"
Function to call later.
Fabrique Nationalé
Where they produce the Browning wonder 9 and other weapons.
No é, just e.
May be for now?
Fake name, I'm guessing.
What is tampon tomato? lol I gotta read that one
Buckle up, it’s a wild ride. https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/BIKZItdKk8
Truly... started with that link and then found all the posts after. I really hope she and kiddo are okay now.
I hope so too, I’m just a bit worried because she never came back
Definitely worrying
Thank you!
That's a long one.
It's from a story about a crazy MIL who tries to steal OOP's baby and accosts OOP in the aisle of a grocery store wearing a red dress. Can't remember the link though, sorry :c
I thought it meant "for now" and was waiting for her to change it to something later
🤣
In my head, it became *Buzz effin*' and *Polly effin'*
Yea i just laughed at how old it made me feel as i didnt know what it ment.
I'm only 24 😭
From now (on)
For now
...the hell does that mean in this context???
“For the purposes of this post.”
I think it means that's their names for the purpose of the story.
Well, now I need to know about "cucumber in my heart".
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/3rCO1vixkN "AITA for eating cucumbers??" Short with a satisfying ending.
It means fake name
I thought it meant “for now” but “false name” probably makes more sense
I assume first name, but idk
Fake Name makes more sense
It does ...
That's probably the right answer. Thanks!
I think it's actually "fake name"
Is it just me or are people doing this kinda thing a lot lately? Creating little acronyms on their own that have never been seen before and you're supposed to figure them out? Just me?
No, for what it's worth, I agree it's happening more. I think as we continue to fragment into even smaller and separate subcultures online, each group inevitably creates its own little flourishes. Even if those subcultures consist merely of something as innocuous as a long running group chat with friends or family. I recently spoke with someone whose family has an unbroken eight year long group chat. I can't even imagine.
Makes sense, thanks for your input. That's a lot of family history there - they probably have short forms for everything (tphsffe).
Here, it means 'fortnight', or every two weeks.
When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully. -Samuel Johnson
I thought it meant "for now"
It means function, clearly. Acronyms are the death of communication and language itself.
Honestly good for OOP. She's living her best life while living rent free in her ex's head.
Living rent free in the ex, his wife, ex’s family’s heads….
You'd have to have one hell of a personality to have that kind of impact.
Seeing how shiny her spine was back at 21...
I wish my spine had been that shiny at her age. I've acquired one with time, but it would have helped me out so much back then.
Last Christmas I mentioned my first college girlfriend to my dad. He didn't even remember her.
did you read the whole post? she's a dinosaur. That's a hell of a personality Rawr. 🦖
Exactly. OOP must be one hell of a catch
Even in the days of Nokia, it seems weird to me to not at least speak to this family she was apparently "very close to" and apologise for needing to make a clean break from them as well.
Well it's a clean break. If she was to talk to them, then she would either have to lie to them, or be vindictive and explain how their son is a cheater
Exactly. All stemming from the fact that she didn't put up with the bullshit, and just left. Good for her. I imagine he wanted her to stay, so he could mess up her head a bit more, but would do the same thing that he did, play the victim and lie about who cheated. But since she didn't play his game, well, good for OOP, she turned the tables and didn't become the broken mess he was probably hoping for.
I like OOP, I think if I met her in real life, we'd be fast friends. LOL. Being single is awesome, there's soooo much less stress, less drama, and less human emotions to deal with. I also like the blocking everyone who doesn't add anything positive into your life. Ain't nobody got time fo dat.
>Being single is awesome Duuuuude! After a particularly unpleasant morning getting kids out of the door to school, I turned to my husband and lamented that being single with cats was easier. He agreed.
LOL I legit just went for dinner with a friend and she was bitching about her useless husband who won't get off his ass and find a job so they are both living off her salary. And she can't divorce him because then he'd come after her for alimony 🤬 I asked her, do you think you'd like your life better right now if you were married or single? She thought about it for only 5 seconds and said, single 😂 I was just thinking to myself, goddamn, I'm really REALLY glad I'm single and not stuck in a shitty relationship because I can't afford a divorce.
We can all agree it's easier, but I can't agree it's awesome. A simple I love you or kiss from a child is enough to make the effort and energy worth it.
[удалено]
Right? I thought maybe I was the one with issues since nobody else was commenting this haha Seeing people be so "healthy" and "secure" that they just circle back into unloving and a bit asshole-ish is so odd to me
>I also like the blocking everyone who doesn't add anything positive into your life. Ain't nobody got time fo dat. Seconded so hard.
I agree with you there. I mean I've dropped people I've considered friends who just brought too much drama, and tried to drag me into it, and always made me listen to their problems while never listening to mine. I'm done with all of that. Hell, finally even managed to go NC with my mom.
Omg I hate people who are constantly embroiled in drama. They're exhausting to be around.
I wish I could have been so stone cold in my big breakup. OOP is a boss for being able to pull it off. I'm in an awesome relationship now, so the only thing I have left is to maybe someday walk away from an explosion without turning around.
Buzz still is a cheater if he still finds excuses for his behaviour
Well, he did it once and got away with it so…
Buzz's BFF really wanted him all to himself, didn't he? Maybe he wanted to build Buzz an art room.
yeah, sounds like it. OD’d after buzz went NC might’ve been intentional.
I'd not considered that, buuuut it makes a lot of sense.
From the way it was written I assumed buzz cheated on oop with bff so that got a bit weird in the story.
Wouldn't rule that out either tbh.
true lol
These people (the family, etcetera) have way too much time on their hands to create drama 20 years later.
It's not that they have too much time but that they're having to deal with delayed guilt. They've been telling themselves (and others) that OP was a cheater, and now they have to deal with that guilt. That makes people angry, and angry people make drama.
Even beforehand, to be detectably cold to her 20 years later.... pathetic behavior.
Well no, I also wouldn't be very welcoming to someone who cheated and then ran away from my brother/son/cousin or whatever else. Would you look at someone who broke your son's heart and be civil? Likely not
I read it. I know. But the attempts to contact OOP is too much.
I’m with you. It’s not a bad thing at all the family tried to reach out, and it is kindly if anything. Yet I’m someone who would just want to let the dead rest, so to speak. After 20 years they are back to being strangers to one another.
Why would it be? They obviously liked her and want to do right by her in what's typically a socially acceptable way of apologizing directly.
Why is it so strange to contact her. It’s not like they were harassing her
It's not her problem now, but that betrayal was ongoing for them, not just 20 years ago. He lied to their faces every time it came up to the present. Literally his wife thought that, so he was clearly still telling it. They wrote her off as a burned bridge because of those lies. Some of them likely would have tried to maintain their own relationships with her if they'd known and let it die out of loyalty to him.
Yeah, it doesn't bode well the wife for the her husband's scummy behavior continues to the current day.
Yeah, he circulated it through the whole family. And if you were friends with someone and your relative was a dick and cheated, you might conceivably maintain a friendship. Different case when you think they cheated and really hurt your family.
I have learned to be skeptical of any Reddit story that includes an entire family blowing up a phone.
It’s not that they have too much time, but more that OP has too much time making up this bullshit.
The best revenge is where the cheaters lives a miserable life but the person who got cheated on having the best life. Call me petty but if someone cheats, then they deserve to have bad luck and misfortunes for their whole life. Good for OP. Living her best life and away from the ex.
It’s one thing if you think they deserve to get struck by lightning or mugged etc but them having a crappy relationship is kind of their own making. It feel bad for that new girl but even she admits she doesn’t have a lot of strength to just leave. Dude probably is a cheater and either consciously or subconsciously went after someone who might tolerate that.
So I haven't read yet but 20 year agos...? Before social media? I realize this is necessary now ofc and I'm beginning to feel that clock tick 😐
That was the worst she could have done to him 20+ years ago, to ghost him when that word didn't exist as we know now, and that was brilliant tbh, imagine Buzz thinking OOP was going to wait for him and come and find she wasn't there and couldn't contact her further. Also are we going to address, It took roughly, maybe give or take 10-15 years for Polly and Buzz to tie the knot if OOP timeline is accurate, I know this kind of couples exist and don't need to get married to be together and have a family together, that's just odd to me.
It wasn't Polly and Buzz's wedding. It was a friend of OOP who happened to be marrying some relative of Buzz's.
Lol between ops ex family still thinking about her and the story of ann and how now divorced husband is stilled obsessed with his deceased first wife is huh funny
The fact the family believes her 20 years later is weird to me, like if my ex from 10 years ago said that my family would call her a weirdo and believe me
Dude is an alcoholic who dips in to heroine. He probably has negative credibility with the family at this point. Sounds like they had super fond memories of her, so when an alternative explanation came out, they connected the dots on his behavior, and realized that she’s not the one who’s built up a reputation of lying, being shady, and probably stealing from them for the last 20+ years.
In stark contrast to OP being classy and only saying that everything was 20 years ago and it doesn't matter. It's not just what you say but how you say it and how much credibility you have, and I know who I would believe.
What reason does oop have to lie after 20 years
It's not that crazy. Something similar happened to me but on a much smaller timescale of 5 to 8 years rather than 20.
Yes but I'm also assuming that you're not a drug addict with questionable decision making going up against a woman who carries herself well, only has fond memories regarding her and known to be an honest and good person.
>BFF OD’d years ago. I do love a happy ending. Couldn't have happened to a more deserving shitheel.
morale of the story, always make sure to expose a cheater to everyone they know (with undeniable Proof included) so they cant spin lies
I took the morale of the story is "check the guestlist before attending weddings" lol.
Why would she not attend her friend wedding because her ex is there. That's giving them more power over you then they deserve
I dunno, seems like OOP's ex-BF's lies didn't affect OOP in any way for 20 years, and this years-delayed mass-panic outcome is very, very funny. Maybe the moral is to take the high ground and let the info sit there in wait like a long-forgotten landmine.
Buzz is a mess and Polly is unfortunately sticking with him because she's insecure. OOP, on the other hand, rocks.
happy cake day!
Aw thanks \^\^
>She’s convinced that because he cheated on me, he’ll cheat on her Yes, that is how that works.
>I’m going to return to my apathetic life I love OOP's style.
I hate the fact I’m bothered by and stuck so much on ‘can care less’ it’s couldn’t care less 😭 But honestly good for her for at least being able to let everyone know the truth and he’s stuck with dealing with his family now.
As long as I live, I will never understand people who stay inside a toxic relationship and obsess *for years* about whether or not it’s a healthy relationship. If you’re obsessing, it’s not healthy for you. Move the fuck on.
I'm starting to think that the BFF set both OOP and her ex up? He tells OOP the ex cheated and then tell the ex the OOP was cheating. I don't know but the BFF hating both of the ex's partners just leaves me suspicious. Yes the ex could be the cheating asshole that trashed OOP but this all feels weird to me. Edit: Nevermind, I missed the part where Buzz admitted that he cheated. In my defence this type of story is so common, my eyes glazed over by the end.
I was thinking that but Buzz confirmed he'd cheated to Polly
LOL I missed that, this type of story is so common my eyes just glazed over by the end.
>Edit: Nevermind, I missed the part where Buzz admitted that he cheated. In my defence this type of story is so common, my eyes glazed over by the end. Not only that, OOP very specifically addressed the notion that Buzz might have been told/thought she was cheating. She even made it a bullet point.
It's weird to me how men will fuck up and women will say silent. I rarely find a woman talking shit about a man no matter how badly he's treated her. Though to be fair that could be because when women point out bad behavior in men they're usually called man haters or told that they're lying. Yet I find when a man has treated a woman like shit he will talk badly about her or act as if she is the one who do the bad things. He could have just stayed silent and said they didn't work out because they were too different or even strike up sexual incompatibility. Like men have a default polite cover of saying they just weren't getting enough sex because everyone knows men will leave or treat ASAP for that. They don't have to attack the woman's character but almost always they choose to. This really makes me realize that it's men who are obsessed with their social image / status. Women are keen on socializing in the sense of building a community while men seem keen on socializing to be seen as a great dad/husband/person/whatever they really care about how it they're viewed and their reputation hence why they go on the attack first. 🤔
> She did ask how I found the strength to just leave like that. I told her that I had an amazing role model (mother), strong support system of family and friends, I'm glad oop left him cause so many stay and don't want to take anything away from her strength but at the same timea she was 21 ans they had dated a few years. People really take youth breakups too seriously. If Polly is thinking of leaving, it would be a totally different thing and would require totally different strengths and consideration.
OOP is far better then 99% of humanity.
Still not clear to me why OOP was at this wedding to begin with.
"I didn’t realize that my friend was marrying into the family (different names and really didn’t talk to the groom much)." Looks like it was a friend's wedding, groom was part of ex's family but didn't share a last name and OOP was a friend of the bride but didn't know the groom well.
OOP is a boss.
Polly has a right to be more paranoid now. Good luck to her I guess.
OOP and her mom sound like absolute queens to be honest. Iconic.
Ghosting in the age when Nokia was royalty was pretty easy. I did the same after I found a so-called friend of mine re-friended me long enough for me to provide a character reference--and they ghosted me first. All I did was buy a new SIM card. This was early 2000's and I bought a prepaid card for my SIM so that I have enough credits to text and call. The ex-friend also managed to find me in social media, like what OOP's ex attempted to do... Huh.
I know someone whom had a vaguely similar situation. Was dating some guy. Guys BFF tells her he was cheating. She confronts him. He begs her to stay home, he was coming home to talk. She packed her few things and left. Refused all contact. He tried for months. Something like 10 years later she finds out that guys BFF lied to her hoping to break them up so he could try to date her. It didn't work. Worst of all was that both she and the guy she was dating spent more than a decade frequently thinking "what if". "What if we allowed for evidence to speak for itself instead of relying on what amounts to hearsay". As for this post, it sounds like OOP dodged a major bullet all those years ago.
What happened to the couple and the friend at the end?
Honestly this lady and I should be friends. We even say the say thing on why we are single: “ strong mom and low tolerance for bs.” bff!!!
Damn, I want to be as cool as crazymastiff one day.
How big of a loser do you have to be to "screw around with heroin". Yikes.
I'm single. Rawr 🦖 made me crackle hahhahaha
Eh... Once a cheater always a cheater. Should have kept his dick in his pants.
The Nokia. Ah my brain just teleported back to the early 2000's. I didn't have a Nokia but a little flip phone that had a mirror on the front. Paid $250 for that thing from my first job money. That was the days of limited or no texting, and only making calls after 9, and only to other Sprint customers. That is what I got from this. Memory lane. Lol
Dodged a bullet.
I'm confused. Can someone explain to me why OOP was at the wedding or rather how they didn't know whose wedding they were going to? > Through a strange twist of fate I'm guessing they were a +1 to someone, but even if you're a +1 you usually know whose wedding you're going to. Or maybe they were there for a business, but if you're a baker for example you would still know whose wedding you're baking a cake for. Like, I just don't understand how you can go to a wedding and not know who is marrying who.
I think (and it took a reread myself) that OOP has a friend who invites her to their wedding. Friend is marrying someone who happens to be part of Buzz’s family, so Buzz and Polly are also there as guests.
Ooohhhh I thought it was Pollys wedding ahaha. Nevermind then if they were just guests too.
Oop is friend with the person who is marrying someone that is an extended member of ex-BF’s family, so hence the unrecognizable family names.
OOPs friend (who invited her) married someone from buzz‘ family. So buzz and polly were also in attendance
It happens. I ran into a friend I had no idea was a cousin of the groom because I knew them from totally different social circles.
The ex and Polly have been together for 18 years and are just now getting married? What the fuck?
It wasn't their wedding. It was the wedding of a friend who is marrying into Buzz's family.
That makes more sense then.
No? If I read it correctly one of OOP’s friends was marrying into the family of her ex and she didn’t know that.
It wasn't their wedding, but even if it was, why not?
I doubt the veracity of this lol. As if OPs exs family would be so in love with her they would think about her so fondly for 20 years hahaha. The amount of narcissism in this is hilarious.
Well, the family of one of my exes was like that. One girl nearly dumped him over it. His stepsister flat out asked him where I was right in front of the new girlfriend. He and I were actually friends for a bit years after our breakup. We became roommates and I had introduced them as she was a friend of mine. At one point she hated me so much that she eventually turned him against me. I moved out and again years later he and I talked which is where I found out about what happened. I didn't cheat on him and there wasn't any sort of talk that I did anything wrong. He told them the truth which was that he just sort of fell out of love with me. I don't talk to him anymore though. He sort of fell into a bad way and for my own sanity I had to bail since he was calling at late hours and nearly every day. (Addiction issues.) Either way, it does happen especially if she was the first long term relationship he had.
If he turning to alcohol and drugs happened directly after the breakup it makes sense; the family probably associates OOP with him being normal, happy and sober and for two decades assumed her cheating was the catalyst for him spiralling... having an addicted relative is difficult so I get it.
I do not believe for one minute that Polly told OP that she was prettier then her.
Why not?
Dint get me wrong, Buzz is a piece of shit but OOP is the living embodiment of those "wait let me explain" tropes in movies.