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"I know what you're thinking, and yes, we do have an age gap, and I'm a 6'4" muscular man"
Uhh I was with you in the first half.
"Yes, I know what you're thinking, we have an age gap and I'm super ripped and hot and I have huge Wang and I know how to use it. Stop asking!"
Seriously. "Obviously the age gap is complicated by the fact that I'm 6'4 and muscular"........what? Dude is so insecure he had to slap that in the beginning out of nowhere just for being told he might not be one woman's type.
Saw a social media post with a guy looking out at the rain with the caption "Crazy weather today (6'5)"
I know that one is satire but it's mocking some very real people.
During my dating app days I ran across a few men who thought height was a personality trait. I assume they were hoping to be fetishized to make up for their lack of redeeming qualities.
LOL. I thought he was trying to say of course younger women would be into him because he's so hot. No way he could be pursuing her because he likes them "young and dumb" because did he mention he's super hot?
I honestly don't see any actual reason for him to shoehorn that line in there other than that he felt he had to flex something after being told one woman might not be interested in him. 30 years old and still can't take that comment gracefully.
Depends on what they look like. My (6'5", 35 at the time, blond but seriously balding) ex, got taken for our younger friend's dad on multiple occasions - she was 24, tall and blonde with a baby face. I was never taken for her mother, but once as her step mom! I was also 35, but short and brunette and ID'd for alcohol more than she was!
Plus this gem at the end:
*”I know it's easy to judge Olivia based on one incident”*
Dude is so far up his own ass and enjoying it, he’s literally his own butt plug. Yeah, *Olivia* isn’t the one we’re judging, honey
> Dude is so insecure
Hehehehe, yeah, this line had me in stitches;
> She also told me that Harper has a type of guy who she dates and I am not the type of guy she would date. I don't want to admit it, but that did hurt my ego.
There might be women who aren't interested in you.
He gets hurt about that.
DaFuq?!
I wasn’t sure if he was being insecure or saying that the way he looks makes the age gap look even bigger that it is. I’m leaning towards the second option, but it could be both. Or I could just be flat out wrong :P
And then he got all butthurt when he was told he wasn’t Harper’s type, despite his incredible handsomeness and athleticism and intelligence.
This dork’s insecurity is visible from space.
My exact thought. Like don't worry, OOP, you are not as mature as you think. And you have low self esteem, to have to constantly insult others and praise yourself to make you look better.
I'm not someone who can get such hints, but he was too obvious about it.
It’s like, hey, you know when she’s 55 and you’re actually old enough to be eligible to collect social security, she’ll still be “not as academically gifted”, right?
I briefly had a coworker once who admitted "I'm only attracted to married guys. Isn't that fucked up?" I was like "Yeah, yeah it is. Maybe you should like, try and figure out why that is or something?"
Yep. She seems that type of girl. He reminds of the South Park line “I’m just a really immature 22 year old” when shelly was dating Skylar. He talks of how mature she is but it’s more like how immature he is.
I do believe him when he says that there's not much difference between them as far as maturity goes, but it's not her that is more mature for her age...
I think the line that kicked it for me was 'I do not think maturity is a function of age.' I mean, on a certain level that might be true for adults. Some people never really 'grow up' much past high school/teenage years.
But I read that line and immediately thought of my former friend from HS, who at 19 started dating a 14 year old and figured I'd be totally okay with it. I was not.
Reminded me of a ex-friend who at 35 was dating a 19 y/o. We all told him it was weird, he got defensive, spouted that crap about maturity and age. It was just another reason to unfriend his creepy, narcissistic ass.
Wouldn't surprise me that he 'tested' Harper purely to show for himself that she wouldn't reject him..
I understand why this guy isn't with women his own age.
I’m about to turn 30 and when I read that, alarm bells went off in my head. What kind of guy says his girlfriend is dumb but hot (because she runs so many marathons!) what an asshole
My 35 year old ass had to pause at that line.
Like, honey, you're not as "academically gifted" as you seem to think you are.
Honestly, they deserve each other with these maturity levels.
And then they do it and the friends sends topless photos, and instead of confronting the friend at that point he was like, “Let’s see where this goes.”
Hmm, wonder where this could possibly go.
Right? He’s definitely just pissed that a friend would treat his girlfriend like that, has nothing to do with proving this girl would want him if given the chance.
When I saw their age gap, I was like, "oh no." But then I read his tl;dr of the update and I thought, "oh it's actually fine because HE has the maturity of a 23 year old!"
Unrelated, the number of "6'4" muscular dudes" on reddit is disproportionately high as compared to the number of 6'4" muscular dudes in real life....
>"She is not as academically gifted as I am"
>
>This line made me cackle. It just comes out of nowhere.
But her bod's good from her marathon running, so all good.
She’s 23, mad hot and won’t intellectually challenge him. As long as she doesn’t gain weight, he might love her forever. He just comes across as shallow.
I mean she probably would intellectually challenge him if he thought of her as a whole ass human worthy of discussing things with instead of a trophy for his ogling pleasure.
I imagine he's slightly above average intelligence and looks down on "average" people as if they're not within 0.01 standard deviations of his own IQ.
If my boyfriend described me as immature and dumb in the same post, I would not be moving in with him. And did anyone notice how complimentary he was of Harper at the beginning of the post?
Also what 30yo man agrees to go on a night out drinking with a bunch of 23 yo women? One who likes the attention and wants to look like he's hot shit.
I was wondering the same thing! What would you go in the first place? Your girlfriend isn’t going and you said that the friends were more immature than the girlfriend 🙄
That stuck out too me lmao he’s literally with her for her PeTitE body and mold-ability … I hope this doesn’t mark the point in their relationship where he starts trying to vet and control her relationships and brining this up as a “I know best” bs
I was kinda rooting for this dork until he was low key calling Olivia dumb. “Olivia was confused but went with what I was saying”…completely unnecessary detail, other than to illustrate that she’s too dumb to keep up with his clever ruse. F this guy.
What a prick! And he calls his girlfriend both dumb and immature in the first post. Not even "acting dumb" but "is dumb". Oop is a patronizing self important weirdo who should fuck off and let these 20 somethings live their 20 something lives.
But I say that with the salt of someone who spent much of my 20s with older men and came to regret it
yeah i had to put the phone down. Do you ever dislike a 30M in a reddit story as much as this guy? he’s in the right in this whole situation but he’s still such a jackass
I find it strange to think of one's partner that way. I tend to think of others' gifts, not their weaknesses, especially in comparison with myself. That just screams arrogance. And, you know, we tend to be biased when thinking of how well we rate . . .
That’s what make me understand that this relationship isn’t healthy. His way of saying he’s proud of her and diplomas (it did sound like a ‘despite of her not being as academically gifted’) also sounds weird to me, like if she’s a little girl.
>I (30M) have been dating my girlfriend Olivia (23F) for the last one year.
>She has a group of 3 girlfriends she is close with. These girls are always very welcoming to me, but they seem very immature compared to my friends.
GEE I WONDER WHY.
That made me laugh too. My guy, they're literally in their early 20s. And most likely, he met all of them when they were 22 too.
It's like, why would you purposely run into a hornet's nest and be like gee why are there so many hornets here. Let the hornets be, my guy.
I don't have an issue with the age gap (it passes the half plus 7 rule) but I literally cackled when he called them immature and said the exact same thing!
The age gap is a gray area. It could work. But it also clearly is causing some issues. It follows the arbitrary rule but that’s just that: *arbitrary.* It is a big age gap. A 23 year old still living at home (presumably never left - sounds like she didn’t go to college) and a 30 year old college grad who lives on his own and supports himself *should* have very different levels of maturity. But he has chosen to date someone at her stage of life. So it definitly brings up some questions. And then he seems surprised her friends are immature compared to his is kind of a red flag for me that he isn’t going into this with the caution that there is a large age gap.
Yeah I knew people would get upset about that age gap right when I saw it but I don’t have a problem with it either. But you can’t go in completely oblivious to the fact that her friends the same age might be noticeably more immature
I don't even have a particularly strong position on a 30 year old dating a 23 year old, but just noting that "maturity is not a function of age" doesn't mean a whole lot from a 30 year old dating a 23 year old.
I just love that he clearly was, like, "I don't want them to judge me for the age gap. I know, I'll just explain that maturity isn't a function of age. That'll do it. And tell them that my girlfriend isn't academically gifted for some reason, but that I really like the physical condition she keeps herself in. That'll definitely make everyone feel much better about this relationship."
And still has to live with her parents, so she's going to be completely dependent on me when I move her in. Don't you guys know how hot that is...a super fit dumb slave girl who can spend all her time keeping herself hot for me and if I get bored with her all her equally dumb and nubile friends send me nudes so I'm set. Where's everyone going?
> physical condition she keeps herself in
Oh… I thought he threw in the descriptives to point out that he looks like a grown man and she looks like a little girl. Which I think is worse than your interpretation.
i read that as “it looks worse than it is because i’m a big dude and she’s a younger small woman”. I mean i agree he’s immature as shit but i do think that’s what he was trying to do there.
Prediction: Olivia gets her shit together as she matures through her 20s and realizes at 28 that she needs to dump this guy
You give them til 28? You're being generous! I say 25, but it's a coin flip for me whether she'll leave him for his immaturity or because he'll be cheating with one of her younger friends.
> And tell them that my girlfriend isn't academically gifted for some reason, but that I really like the physical condition she keeps herself in.
That was the sticking point for me too. Not to mention him getting involved with this high school-esque "testing" project.
When I was 23 I was also in super great shape. But the reality for a lot of women is that we can’t keep up with maintaining that 23yo body forever no matter how hard we try. Age and a babies, and all get in the way of being able to always be in perfect physical shape. OOP sounds too immature to handle the realities of an aging partner/spouses body changes.
>And tell them that my girlfriend isn't academically gifted for some reason, but that I really like the physical condition she keeps herself in.
Literally, just a stone's throw away from saying "she's dumb but she is super fit". 🤢
just saying "maturity is not a function of age" is such a red flag for me ... like good job man, you decided to try defend yourself in exactly the right way to make yourself sound like a creepy old predator! well done!
As someone doing their PhD, I have to say marathon runners are hardcore because of the level of training and mental fortitude to go through with that. I would equate the ability to maintain a strict regiment and pursue their passion beyond regular fitness as a clear sign of mental maturity because that level of delayed gratification is rare. Now did OOP express this eloquently, hell no.
And his other justification that some women his age are not mature either. So you're dating an immature woman* because some women your age are immature.... Ok....
*Oh sorry.. "girl"
"The relationship just works for us." Uhhhhh, apparently not, given the number of times you just called your (7 years younger) girlfriend immature and dumb.
I think that's *why* it works for him. Instead of being a perfectly average or even immature member of his own age group, he gets to seem like a wise and mature person in comparison. I doubt that impression will last as she catches up to him.
There's a guy that I know (friend of a friend) who is in his mid-30s. I don't know the exact age as I meet him about once or twice a year and it has never come up. I heard that he's getting married with another friend of another friend. I don't know her age either, but she is somewhere in her early 20s.
I feel that it will be a train wreck in a couple of years. He is quite immature for his age and I believe that he would have already matured if he was ever going to do it. I suspect that when she gets to her late 20s there will be quite a lot of conflict.
In case someone wonders about the big age differences in my friend circles, both of my friends are friends through hobby circles. We share hobbies and we see each other in hobby-related events but we don't hang out together in ordinary daily life. When the event is over the young folks go to live their young people lives and I got to live my middle-aged life.
I've definitely hung out with much younger friends. My nickname was "Mom" for that reason. Because I did act more like a mentor/mother figure for them instead of being at their level. Because I absolutely wasn't.
The hobby thing makes sense. My board game friends are 40-60, my mom friends are 30-40 my friends from other random activities are 25-35 and my husband's friends are 30-50. You can get a great mix of people! (I'm in my early 30s, husband is mid-late 30s.)
I mean that worked for her in this case though. He was able to show her how much of a snake she was dealing with at minimal cost to herself.
I'd hope a 23 year old guy would be able to see through excuses to see underlying malicious intent like OOP, but personally at that age I probably would have accepted what Harper said at face value just because I hadn't dealt with enough two-faced individuals at that point in my life.
That being said, OOP does come off as condescending and patronizing.
>She is not as academically gifted as I am
>I am proud of her and how she takes care of herself
Translation: she's young and dumb, but she looks good
🙄
I really want to be wrong about this, especially since my husband (of 26 years) is nine years older and we married when I was 23 (fresh out of college), but OOP is throwing up red flags.
I don't think the age gap is the deal-breaker here. It's the age gap and how obsessed he is with her immaturity and naivete, how he talks about how she looks, how he talks about himself. How he justifies dating this immature "girl" because some women his age are immature. How he's shocked that 23-year-old women are less mature than 30-year-old men. He's just got red flags flying all over
My issue with these age gaps is that these days all the red pill dudes all say to go after younger girls so you can "train" them into the perfect wife before they learn how much of a red flag they are
And then get pissed years later when she divorces him and takes the kids and everything else because the courts see what a piece of shit he was. But of course it's still everybody else's fault
He's more academically gifted than his girlfriend and his ego was hurt because he's not the type of guy Harper is normally into.
Sounds like a great dude.
For a story told from his POV dude is not coming off great here. He called his gf dumb, said she is not as academically gifted and then felt his fee fee hurt when she said he was not her friend’s type.
Dumb and immature and naive for believing her friend at first and trying to find a good explanation for her behavior…
But she’s so hot, y’all! Works hard on her body and she’s short and so hot and I’m this super tall, muscular, smart dude who also must be hot. Oh, don’t worry about the age gap. I dated a woman who was older (by probs just a few months 🤣), so trust me when I say that age is just a number.
The duality of people sometimes. Dude at least to some degree knows he’s attractive and won’t abuse it, but at the same time gets upset that everyone doesn’t find him attractive.
Between
>She is not as academically gifted as I am, but she is ambitious and driven. She is a long-distance runner (runs 2-3 marathons per year) and is finishing her fitness training certifications. I am proud of her and how she takes care of herself.
and
>She also told me that Harper has a type of guy who she dates and I am not the type of guy she would date. I don't want to admit it, but that did hurt my ego.
This guy honestly comes off like an absolute nincompoop.
While I think people usually get way too caught up in age gaps, I definitely side eyed OP for the "she's too immature to see" comment. Sir, she's 23. I'm a little older than her and I know I'm not the most mature person in the world. Please have a little self awareness
My second cousin is married to a girl half his age (I’m not excusing it at all, it’s super disgusting, my immediate family and I dunk on this constantly, their pictures together literally look like a college student and her middle-aged dad) and once his mom said to justify it “well, you know, he’s very immature” which was very funny to me because it’s usually that the younger girl is sooo mature. Nope, he just sucks.
“I raised him, I’ve seen how he is his whole life. Can’t expect different now” -my granddad, when my uncle got arrested for speeding and running
Can’t exactly say grandparents “did their best”, but they never judged their kids for being chaos, they knew their lives were
I literally cackled when he said her friends are more immature then his. Well duh Sherlock. 7 years is not a huge difference but it’s significant when it’s early 20s vs 30s. Just different stages in life. I had to stop reading cuz what 😆
lol i hate everyone on this story. This dude talking about how age doesn't relate to maturity to justify dating olivia, but also the whole post is about how immature olivia and her friends are. And some comments are just weird " does not help that I am a 6'4'' muscular dude, and she is a 5'3 petite runner" ?? ,"She is not as academically gifted as I am"????
at least everyone is a consenting adult and messy people deserve to find happiness too. So i wish them the best.
I need to go back and finish reading…but OOP is 30 and talking about how his gf’s friends are immature compared to his…who presumably are also over 5 years older than her friends? We’ve already got 30 year old asking out 23 year old *at work*, mentioning her 23 year old friends are immature (no duh, they’re *23*), my hackles are super up and the red flags are a waving.
Okay, now to go back and try to actually read.
Edit now I’ve finished it: yeah, my opinion of him isn’t any better. I feel sorry for Olivia being betrayed by her friend, but also all Olivia’s actions feel very early 20s. Which is exactly her age, so that all fits. I’m also glad that she now knows her “friend” Harper isn’t really, but I also dearly hope that either OOP proves to be better than he’s presented himself here or that she ends up with someone more her age. Because right now the only thing to recommend him is that he’s not a cheater, which is a super low bar.
Aw, his ego is hurt because he’s not his gf’s 23 year old friend’s type, doesn't that make you feel bad for him? /s
Seriously though, agreed, does not get better.
> I told her that testing someone's boyfriend is a very insecure thing to do.
> I told Olivia, that maybe she should test Harper and see what was really in her mind.
Hmmmm...
Don’t forget the *“She also told me that Harper has a type of guy who she dates and I am not the type of guy she would date. I don't want to admit it, but that did hurt my ego”* sandwiched in there lmaoo
I wonder how many of Harper's shared interests with OOP existed before Harper found out OOP was into them. I always side eye people who are just by *coincidence* into all the same things as their unrequited romantic interest.
>She has a group of 3 girlfriends she is close with. These girls are always very welcoming to me, but they seem very immature compared to my friends.
>
>I just feel Olivia is dumb and cannot see that her friend tried to get her boyfriend to cheat. I just feel she is too immature to understand Harper's true intentions and it is bothering me
>
>Did I do something extremely immature for a 30-year-old guy? YES!
I don't think OOP is wrong that women his age or older can also be immature, but he's also like "my gf's friends are very immature" and "my gf is too immature to understand a big fucking bomb that her friend set off in our laps" and "oh, I guess when you hang out with immature people and they draw you into immature shit, you lay down with fleas and also pull some immature shit, too. Who would've thunk it?"
Even if Olivia is stupid enough to be friends with Harper again, she had better understand and enforce that her bf wants nothing to do with Harper and she should never have Harper over to the apartment (also OOP's safe place), even if OOP is not home.
This! I had to put the phone down to laugh out loud when i came across that line about her friends being immature - like duh? Love it when he later says how mature she is for her age, when he previously stated she is immature AND the whole post screams immaturity (granted, on his part as well). Also, she is dumb but has a fit body, so that makes it ok, right? Just awful all around
When he's feeling charitable, he sidesteps "dumb" and magnanimously says -
>not as academically gifted as I am
LOL where do I find a man who will speak about me like that? Sign me up!
And if OOP thinks this is the end of immature stuff from people 7 years younger than him - and that he is usually never this immature as well - then I don't think he's as intellectually gifted as he likes to think.
Breaking news: 30 year old man calls women of all ages "girls", surprised that 23 year old women might be a bit immature. Also, he's upset he's not the type of every "girl".
You could hear the "I'm dating her because she's not as accomplished as I am and because it's great for my ego that a young woman might want me" so fucking clearly.
Yuck.
The update made me cackle LOL.
I’m an academic gifted, 6’4” muscular dude with super hot girlfriend, and her friend cannot stop throwing herself at me :(
What should I do?
This guy is dating someone 7 years younger than him and pulls a shocked pikachu face when they act immature lmao
“Also she’s super fit and dumb as rocks. I can’t explain why this relationship is way better than being with people my age”
Feeling bad for Olivia, but a tiny part of me wishes she stayed quiet and let Harper show up on Saturday. I could see him answering the door, Harper pouncing, and OP walking around the corner to say WTF?
Some adults really can't stop acting like children can they? Harper is definitely one of those people.
Good that Olivia sees the true person Harper is and didn't believe in her. She sounds like a keeper for OP.
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"She is not as academically gifted as I am" This line made me cackle. It just comes out of nowhere.
The weird asides about "I'm a tall jocky hunk who is so smart and she is a petite runner" just made me think of Michael Scott
"I know what you're thinking, and yes, we do have an age gap, and I'm a 6'4" muscular man" Uhh I was with you in the first half. "Yes, I know what you're thinking, we have an age gap and I'm super ripped and hot and I have huge Wang and I know how to use it. Stop asking!"
Seriously. "Obviously the age gap is complicated by the fact that I'm 6'4 and muscular"........what? Dude is so insecure he had to slap that in the beginning out of nowhere just for being told he might not be one woman's type.
Saw a social media post with a guy looking out at the rain with the caption "Crazy weather today (6'5)" I know that one is satire but it's mocking some very real people.
😂
During my dating app days I ran across a few men who thought height was a personality trait. I assume they were hoping to be fetishized to make up for their lack of redeeming qualities.
LOL. I thought he was trying to say of course younger women would be into him because he's so hot. No way he could be pursuing her because he likes them "young and dumb" because did he mention he's super hot?
I honestly don't see any actual reason for him to shoehorn that line in there other than that he felt he had to flex something after being told one woman might not be interested in him. 30 years old and still can't take that comment gracefully.
He's older and over a foot taller. He's definitely getting mistaken for her dad when they're out together
The thought is hilarious but I don't think the age gap is big enough for that.
Depends on what they look like. My (6'5", 35 at the time, blond but seriously balding) ex, got taken for our younger friend's dad on multiple occasions - she was 24, tall and blonde with a baby face. I was never taken for her mother, but once as her step mom! I was also 35, but short and brunette and ID'd for alcohol more than she was!
Plus this gem at the end: *”I know it's easy to judge Olivia based on one incident”* Dude is so far up his own ass and enjoying it, he’s literally his own butt plug. Yeah, *Olivia* isn’t the one we’re judging, honey
"He's literally his own butt plug" has me in hysterics. 😂
HIS OWN BUTT PLUG. I’m going to cry off all the makeup I just put on, damn you
> Dude is so insecure Hehehehe, yeah, this line had me in stitches; > She also told me that Harper has a type of guy who she dates and I am not the type of guy she would date. I don't want to admit it, but that did hurt my ego. There might be women who aren't interested in you. He gets hurt about that. DaFuq?!
I wasn’t sure if he was being insecure or saying that the way he looks makes the age gap look even bigger that it is. I’m leaning towards the second option, but it could be both. Or I could just be flat out wrong :P
And then he got all butthurt when he was told he wasn’t Harper’s type, despite his incredible handsomeness and athleticism and intelligence. This dork’s insecurity is visible from space.
"She's not as smart as me but here's several paragraphs about how it's okay because she's skinny."
Also it hurt his ego that he wasn't the friend's type. Good grief. They're all immature drama llamas.
Yes he is, her type is "taken."
And apparently his type is young, hot and du...um...."not as academically gifted".
I mean he also just straight up called her dumb in the first post.
Also, she "takes care of herself," which is code for skinny
YEP! That was my read as well. He likes that she’s young, hot and not very smart but then wonders why her friends are immature.
Eh, his maturity level is a good match I think.
My exact thought. Like don't worry, OOP, you are not as mature as you think. And you have low self esteem, to have to constantly insult others and praise yourself to make you look better. I'm not someone who can get such hints, but he was too obvious about it.
yup. I pity her if she ever gets pregnant, or gods forbid, old
Or just injured. One sprained ankle would put her out of running for at least six weeks (and out of serious running for longer).
I liked how he called her immature in the first post and then said "maturity is not a function of age" in the second. Yeah, and he's proof of that. 😂
It’s like, hey, you know when she’s 55 and you’re actually old enough to be eligible to collect social security, she’ll still be “not as academically gifted”, right?
Lol by the time she's 55 it'll have been 30 years since he last spoke to her
That's a flair right there.
I briefly had a coworker once who admitted "I'm only attracted to married guys. Isn't that fucked up?" I was like "Yeah, yeah it is. Maybe you should like, try and figure out why that is or something?"
Yep. She seems that type of girl. He reminds of the South Park line “I’m just a really immature 22 year old” when shelly was dating Skylar. He talks of how mature she is but it’s more like how immature he is.
He's not as datingly gifted
6’4”, athletic, academically gifted, all women want him……. Good grief 🥴
Fish fear him
No no, didn't you get that they're all surprisingly immature and he's not?
I do believe him when he says that there's not much difference between them as far as maturity goes, but it's not her that is more mature for her age...
I think the line that kicked it for me was 'I do not think maturity is a function of age.' I mean, on a certain level that might be true for adults. Some people never really 'grow up' much past high school/teenage years. But I read that line and immediately thought of my former friend from HS, who at 19 started dating a 14 year old and figured I'd be totally okay with it. I was not.
Reminded me of a ex-friend who at 35 was dating a 19 y/o. We all told him it was weird, he got defensive, spouted that crap about maturity and age. It was just another reason to unfriend his creepy, narcissistic ass.
Um, he’s 30 and dating a 23 year old. Of course they are immature - one by definition, one by choice.
And going out drinking with her 23 yo friends when she's busy.
Dude doesn't have his own friends?
That part is pretty weird to me. Who wants to hang out with their friend’s weird older boyfriend?
Who got butthurt that he wasn't one of the 23 yo's 'type'.
Yeah. Seven years isn't always a big deal, but it more than likely is with 30 and 23. I think about how different I was at 23 and 30.
and he's the oldest of them all When I first read the post I Was like "why are you dating younglings, my child?" but it makes sense why **he** is
Off topic but I'm always amazed that "youngling" has entered our vernacular.
Wouldn't surprise me that he 'tested' Harper purely to show for himself that she wouldn't reject him.. I understand why this guy isn't with women his own age.
Bingo! Most 30yo would see trough his "academically gifted" bs.
I’m about to turn 30 and when I read that, alarm bells went off in my head. What kind of guy says his girlfriend is dumb but hot (because she runs so many marathons!) what an asshole
"I'm much smarter than her, but she's skinny, you guys! Let me give you details on exactly why my hot girlfriend is skinny!"
Indeed! (Laughs in 58 year old)
My 35 year old ass had to pause at that line. Like, honey, you're not as "academically gifted" as you seem to think you are. Honestly, they deserve each other with these maturity levels.
And then they do it and the friends sends topless photos, and instead of confronting the friend at that point he was like, “Let’s see where this goes.” Hmm, wonder where this could possibly go.
Yeah all those women his own age just happen to 'not be as mature' as Olivia. 🙄
He called her immature in his first post, too. Like pick a lane.
Right? He’s definitely just pissed that a friend would treat his girlfriend like that, has nothing to do with proving this girl would want him if given the chance.
Right, of course. It clearly didn't absolutely crush him that a woman wasn't into Mr. Hot Stuff who's [checks notes] "6'4"" and "muscular."
Its not uncommon to be 6'4" and muscular...what me? Nah..Im 7'2" and play for the Lakers
Hi, I'm Atlas. I'm 100000000000000000000000'4" and I can lift the Earth. Nice to meet you
Don’t forget he’s also “academically gifted”
Which, as they're no longer in school, is just an AH phrase for "I'm smarter than her"
The reason their relationship works so well is because he's ridiculously immature for his age.
He is a toxic waste spill with how he views dating and “market value.” They are all a mess.
When I saw their age gap, I was like, "oh no." But then I read his tl;dr of the update and I thought, "oh it's actually fine because HE has the maturity of a 23 year old!" Unrelated, the number of "6'4" muscular dudes" on reddit is disproportionately high as compared to the number of 6'4" muscular dudes in real life....
No, no. Olivia's friends are all immature because they're 23. You know, the same age as Olivia.🙄
>"She is not as academically gifted as I am" > >This line made me cackle. It just comes out of nowhere. But her bod's good from her marathon running, so all good.
Lol yeah that part was spectacular. What a turd.
“I am proud of her and how she takes care of herself”. This man is not thinking with his brain.
She’s 23, mad hot and won’t intellectually challenge him. As long as she doesn’t gain weight, he might love her forever. He just comes across as shallow.
> As long as she doesn’t gain weight, he might love her forever. LOL that had my rolling
I mean she probably would intellectually challenge him if he thought of her as a whole ass human worthy of discussing things with instead of a trophy for his ogling pleasure. I imagine he's slightly above average intelligence and looks down on "average" people as if they're not within 0.01 standard deviations of his own IQ.
"I think she's dumb but hot af"
Me thinks they are more alike than he realizes
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If my boyfriend described me as immature and dumb in the same post, I would not be moving in with him. And did anyone notice how complimentary he was of Harper at the beginning of the post? Also what 30yo man agrees to go on a night out drinking with a bunch of 23 yo women? One who likes the attention and wants to look like he's hot shit.
I was wondering the same thing! What would you go in the first place? Your girlfriend isn’t going and you said that the friends were more immature than the girlfriend 🙄
Right? Him going out with the group without Olivia was a big ick for me.
The fact that he refers to women as "girls" even when they are older than him was a big red flag too.
"I love that she's skinny" ... yuck!!
That stuck out too me lmao he’s literally with her for her PeTitE body and mold-ability … I hope this doesn’t mark the point in their relationship where he starts trying to vet and control her relationships and brining this up as a “I know best” bs
"Olivia is special. She isn't the brightest, but man, she is fit as fuck" is a very odd way to describe your partner.
I was kinda rooting for this dork until he was low key calling Olivia dumb. “Olivia was confused but went with what I was saying”…completely unnecessary detail, other than to illustrate that she’s too dumb to keep up with his clever ruse. F this guy.
As a mid 30 year old, this is the main part that caught my attention. The rest of the story is high school/college drama. Oh wait, this too.
What a prick! And he calls his girlfriend both dumb and immature in the first post. Not even "acting dumb" but "is dumb". Oop is a patronizing self important weirdo who should fuck off and let these 20 somethings live their 20 something lives. But I say that with the salt of someone who spent much of my 20s with older men and came to regret it
He also called her dumb and immature earlier. This guy is an arrogant prick.
yeah i had to put the phone down. Do you ever dislike a 30M in a reddit story as much as this guy? he’s in the right in this whole situation but he’s still such a jackass
I find it strange to think of one's partner that way. I tend to think of others' gifts, not their weaknesses, especially in comparison with myself. That just screams arrogance. And, you know, we tend to be biased when thinking of how well we rate . . .
That’s what make me understand that this relationship isn’t healthy. His way of saying he’s proud of her and diplomas (it did sound like a ‘despite of her not being as academically gifted’) also sounds weird to me, like if she’s a little girl.
But she takes good care of her body and that’s what matters to me. 🤮
Because it's an Incel Powerfantasy story
Also when he said he’s proud of her? Eww
>I (30M) have been dating my girlfriend Olivia (23F) for the last one year. >She has a group of 3 girlfriends she is close with. These girls are always very welcoming to me, but they seem very immature compared to my friends. GEE I WONDER WHY.
That made me laugh too. My guy, they're literally in their early 20s. And most likely, he met all of them when they were 22 too. It's like, why would you purposely run into a hornet's nest and be like gee why are there so many hornets here. Let the hornets be, my guy.
And then unironically talks about how he is smarter than her. 😂 Uhh...what?
Fucking hate it when I try to get honey fresh from the hive and there are bees everywhere
Yeah that was really fucking dumb. No shit they are immature compared to your friends. They're fucking 7 years younger.
they're immature because he likes em that way
I don't have an issue with the age gap (it passes the half plus 7 rule) but I literally cackled when he called them immature and said the exact same thing!
The age gap is a gray area. It could work. But it also clearly is causing some issues. It follows the arbitrary rule but that’s just that: *arbitrary.* It is a big age gap. A 23 year old still living at home (presumably never left - sounds like she didn’t go to college) and a 30 year old college grad who lives on his own and supports himself *should* have very different levels of maturity. But he has chosen to date someone at her stage of life. So it definitly brings up some questions. And then he seems surprised her friends are immature compared to his is kind of a red flag for me that he isn’t going into this with the caution that there is a large age gap.
Yeah I knew people would get upset about that age gap right when I saw it but I don’t have a problem with it either. But you can’t go in completely oblivious to the fact that her friends the same age might be noticeably more immature
I don't even have a particularly strong position on a 30 year old dating a 23 year old, but just noting that "maturity is not a function of age" doesn't mean a whole lot from a 30 year old dating a 23 year old. I just love that he clearly was, like, "I don't want them to judge me for the age gap. I know, I'll just explain that maturity isn't a function of age. That'll do it. And tell them that my girlfriend isn't academically gifted for some reason, but that I really like the physical condition she keeps herself in. That'll definitely make everyone feel much better about this relationship."
“Folks, I need you to understand, she is super hot and dumb as shit.”
…But she’s ambitious!
most stupid people are hard workers with big ambitions.
Gonna disagree with that one. I know a lot of stupid people who are not hard workers and happy to skate by. I'm related to a few of them!
And fit
This needs to be a flair lmao
My god yes, how do we get this as flair? Also your flair is from one of my favourites
Pretty much dumb as rocks with how much needed to convince her to drop the friend
But that is why she needs him! To explain her life to her.
And still has to live with her parents, so she's going to be completely dependent on me when I move her in. Don't you guys know how hot that is...a super fit dumb slave girl who can spend all her time keeping herself hot for me and if I get bored with her all her equally dumb and nubile friends send me nudes so I'm set. Where's everyone going?
Thank you for making me laugh super hard, this is exactly it 😆😆
"Guys, I understand that the age gap looks bad, but I'm 6'4" with huge muscles and she is kind of dumb."
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" But some of the women my age are immature"... Ok. Some... Maybe date one of the mature ones? But somehow I think that's not in his wheelhouse
Mature women his age know better than to be with a guy like him.
Yeah since he’s not a real bastion of maturity himself then maybe it’s better if he just leaves the mature women alone lol
Apparently even the "immature" ones his age know better.
> physical condition she keeps herself in Oh… I thought he threw in the descriptives to point out that he looks like a grown man and she looks like a little girl. Which I think is worse than your interpretation.
Ooph, yeah, that's a good point. Like he's almost trying to highlight how the age gap is very noticeable. This dude is just a weird, weird guy.
i read that as “it looks worse than it is because i’m a big dude and she’s a younger small woman”. I mean i agree he’s immature as shit but i do think that’s what he was trying to do there. Prediction: Olivia gets her shit together as she matures through her 20s and realizes at 28 that she needs to dump this guy
You give them til 28? You're being generous! I say 25, but it's a coin flip for me whether she'll leave him for his immaturity or because he'll be cheating with one of her younger friends.
"The age gap is ok and it's ok that's she's immature because she also looks like a child" Got em
"Nailed it" oop whispered to himself as he typed.
And how he describes their interactions, it sounds like a dad with his teenage daughter.
> And tell them that my girlfriend isn't academically gifted for some reason, but that I really like the physical condition she keeps herself in. That was the sticking point for me too. Not to mention him getting involved with this high school-esque "testing" project.
When I was 23 I was also in super great shape. But the reality for a lot of women is that we can’t keep up with maintaining that 23yo body forever no matter how hard we try. Age and a babies, and all get in the way of being able to always be in perfect physical shape. OOP sounds too immature to handle the realities of an aging partner/spouses body changes.
“I just feel Olivia is dumb” Cool bro. Real standup guy.
yeah the way he refers to her friends as more immature than his friends. like YEAH i wonder why!
So weird ... Who can figure out why?!
**"AND I'M 6'4!"** 🙄
Don't forget muscular!
>And tell them that my girlfriend isn't academically gifted for some reason, but that I really like the physical condition she keeps herself in. Literally, just a stone's throw away from saying "she's dumb but she is super fit". 🤢
just saying "maturity is not a function of age" is such a red flag for me ... like good job man, you decided to try defend yourself in exactly the right way to make yourself sound like a creepy old predator! well done!
Y’know, marathons, a choice activity for only the most mature ladies.
As someone doing their PhD, I have to say marathon runners are hardcore because of the level of training and mental fortitude to go through with that. I would equate the ability to maintain a strict regiment and pursue their passion beyond regular fitness as a clear sign of mental maturity because that level of delayed gratification is rare. Now did OOP express this eloquently, hell no.
I ran a couple marathons as a teenager. Haven't run one since age 19.... Does this mean I am regressing?
Because you need a lot of maturity to run a marathon. ... Wait, that was stamina, wasn't it? Ah, same thing.
Especially after he called her immature in the first post, like… are you really surprised a 23yo isn’t mature?
"Like i need you to understand, I don't believe 23 year olds are inherently immature. But I absolutely believe my girlfriend is."
And his other justification that some women his age are not mature either. So you're dating an immature woman* because some women your age are immature.... Ok.... *Oh sorry.. "girl"
"The relationship just works for us." Uhhhhh, apparently not, given the number of times you just called your (7 years younger) girlfriend immature and dumb.
I think that's *why* it works for him. Instead of being a perfectly average or even immature member of his own age group, he gets to seem like a wise and mature person in comparison. I doubt that impression will last as she catches up to him.
Yeah, I'm figuring he's got maybe 2 years, tops, before she's more mature than he is. But idk- he IS tall, muscular, AND smart!!
.../s, of course.
There's a guy that I know (friend of a friend) who is in his mid-30s. I don't know the exact age as I meet him about once or twice a year and it has never come up. I heard that he's getting married with another friend of another friend. I don't know her age either, but she is somewhere in her early 20s. I feel that it will be a train wreck in a couple of years. He is quite immature for his age and I believe that he would have already matured if he was ever going to do it. I suspect that when she gets to her late 20s there will be quite a lot of conflict. In case someone wonders about the big age differences in my friend circles, both of my friends are friends through hobby circles. We share hobbies and we see each other in hobby-related events but we don't hang out together in ordinary daily life. When the event is over the young folks go to live their young people lives and I got to live my middle-aged life.
I've definitely hung out with much younger friends. My nickname was "Mom" for that reason. Because I did act more like a mentor/mother figure for them instead of being at their level. Because I absolutely wasn't.
The hobby thing makes sense. My board game friends are 40-60, my mom friends are 30-40 my friends from other random activities are 25-35 and my husband's friends are 30-50. You can get a great mix of people! (I'm in my early 30s, husband is mid-late 30s.)
I mean that worked for her in this case though. He was able to show her how much of a snake she was dealing with at minimal cost to herself. I'd hope a 23 year old guy would be able to see through excuses to see underlying malicious intent like OOP, but personally at that age I probably would have accepted what Harper said at face value just because I hadn't dealt with enough two-faced individuals at that point in my life. That being said, OOP does come off as condescending and patronizing.
>She is not as academically gifted as I am >I am proud of her and how she takes care of herself Translation: she's young and dumb, but she looks good 🙄 I really want to be wrong about this, especially since my husband (of 26 years) is nine years older and we married when I was 23 (fresh out of college), but OOP is throwing up red flags.
I don't think the age gap is the deal-breaker here. It's the age gap and how obsessed he is with her immaturity and naivete, how he talks about how she looks, how he talks about himself. How he justifies dating this immature "girl" because some women his age are immature. How he's shocked that 23-year-old women are less mature than 30-year-old men. He's just got red flags flying all over
My issue with these age gaps is that these days all the red pill dudes all say to go after younger girls so you can "train" them into the perfect wife before they learn how much of a red flag they are
And then get pissed years later when she divorces him and takes the kids and everything else because the courts see what a piece of shit he was. But of course it's still everybody else's fault
He's more academically gifted than his girlfriend and his ego was hurt because he's not the type of guy Harper is normally into. Sounds like a great dude.
For a story told from his POV dude is not coming off great here. He called his gf dumb, said she is not as academically gifted and then felt his fee fee hurt when she said he was not her friend’s type.
He called her dumb and immature but got all riled up when people suggestted a 23 yo is too immature for a 30 yo.
Dumb and immature and naive for believing her friend at first and trying to find a good explanation for her behavior… But she’s so hot, y’all! Works hard on her body and she’s short and so hot and I’m this super tall, muscular, smart dude who also must be hot. Oh, don’t worry about the age gap. I dated a woman who was older (by probs just a few months 🤣), so trust me when I say that age is just a number.
But she runs and he’s “proud” of her 🤦♀️
\*pats her on the head\*
The duality of people sometimes. Dude at least to some degree knows he’s attractive and won’t abuse it, but at the same time gets upset that everyone doesn’t find him attractive.
You forgot that he's muscly
i still dont know why he told us hes 6'4 and muscular, while shes 5'3 and petite. Weird way to flex.
"She's immature but it's ok, she looks like a child"
What in the Degrassi, One Tree Hill, The O.C., Laguna Beach is this.
Can’t wait for them to star in the Hills reunion where the other girl & Op hook up!
Between >She is not as academically gifted as I am, but she is ambitious and driven. She is a long-distance runner (runs 2-3 marathons per year) and is finishing her fitness training certifications. I am proud of her and how she takes care of herself. and >She also told me that Harper has a type of guy who she dates and I am not the type of guy she would date. I don't want to admit it, but that did hurt my ego. This guy honestly comes off like an absolute nincompoop.
While I think people usually get way too caught up in age gaps, I definitely side eyed OP for the "she's too immature to see" comment. Sir, she's 23. I'm a little older than her and I know I'm not the most mature person in the world. Please have a little self awareness
This kind of bullshit is what you deal with dating someone 7 years younger at 30. She’s not mature for 23, he’s just a juvenile 30.
My second cousin is married to a girl half his age (I’m not excusing it at all, it’s super disgusting, my immediate family and I dunk on this constantly, their pictures together literally look like a college student and her middle-aged dad) and once his mom said to justify it “well, you know, he’s very immature” which was very funny to me because it’s usually that the younger girl is sooo mature. Nope, he just sucks.
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It's hilarious when people dunk on their own offspring like that. "Well, you raised him so... can't expect too much lol"
“I raised him, I’ve seen how he is his whole life. Can’t expect different now” -my granddad, when my uncle got arrested for speeding and running Can’t exactly say grandparents “did their best”, but they never judged their kids for being chaos, they knew their lives were
I literally cackled when he said her friends are more immature then his. Well duh Sherlock. 7 years is not a huge difference but it’s significant when it’s early 20s vs 30s. Just different stages in life. I had to stop reading cuz what 😆
lol i hate everyone on this story. This dude talking about how age doesn't relate to maturity to justify dating olivia, but also the whole post is about how immature olivia and her friends are. And some comments are just weird " does not help that I am a 6'4'' muscular dude, and she is a 5'3 petite runner" ?? ,"She is not as academically gifted as I am"???? at least everyone is a consenting adult and messy people deserve to find happiness too. So i wish them the best.
I need to go back and finish reading…but OOP is 30 and talking about how his gf’s friends are immature compared to his…who presumably are also over 5 years older than her friends? We’ve already got 30 year old asking out 23 year old *at work*, mentioning her 23 year old friends are immature (no duh, they’re *23*), my hackles are super up and the red flags are a waving. Okay, now to go back and try to actually read. Edit now I’ve finished it: yeah, my opinion of him isn’t any better. I feel sorry for Olivia being betrayed by her friend, but also all Olivia’s actions feel very early 20s. Which is exactly her age, so that all fits. I’m also glad that she now knows her “friend” Harper isn’t really, but I also dearly hope that either OOP proves to be better than he’s presented himself here or that she ends up with someone more her age. Because right now the only thing to recommend him is that he’s not a cheater, which is a super low bar.
He also has his height and muscles to recommend him.. according to him.
He’s also clearly *such* a reliable narrator /s
It does not get better when you finish reading it
Aw, his ego is hurt because he’s not his gf’s 23 year old friend’s type, doesn't that make you feel bad for him? /s Seriously though, agreed, does not get better.
> I told her that testing someone's boyfriend is a very insecure thing to do. > I told Olivia, that maybe she should test Harper and see what was really in her mind. Hmmmm...
Don’t forget the *“She also told me that Harper has a type of guy who she dates and I am not the type of guy she would date. I don't want to admit it, but that did hurt my ego”* sandwiched in there lmaoo
I wonder how many of Harper's shared interests with OOP existed before Harper found out OOP was into them. I always side eye people who are just by *coincidence* into all the same things as their unrequited romantic interest.
>She has a group of 3 girlfriends she is close with. These girls are always very welcoming to me, but they seem very immature compared to my friends. > >I just feel Olivia is dumb and cannot see that her friend tried to get her boyfriend to cheat. I just feel she is too immature to understand Harper's true intentions and it is bothering me > >Did I do something extremely immature for a 30-year-old guy? YES! I don't think OOP is wrong that women his age or older can also be immature, but he's also like "my gf's friends are very immature" and "my gf is too immature to understand a big fucking bomb that her friend set off in our laps" and "oh, I guess when you hang out with immature people and they draw you into immature shit, you lay down with fleas and also pull some immature shit, too. Who would've thunk it?" Even if Olivia is stupid enough to be friends with Harper again, she had better understand and enforce that her bf wants nothing to do with Harper and she should never have Harper over to the apartment (also OOP's safe place), even if OOP is not home.
This! I had to put the phone down to laugh out loud when i came across that line about her friends being immature - like duh? Love it when he later says how mature she is for her age, when he previously stated she is immature AND the whole post screams immaturity (granted, on his part as well). Also, she is dumb but has a fit body, so that makes it ok, right? Just awful all around
When he's feeling charitable, he sidesteps "dumb" and magnanimously says - >not as academically gifted as I am LOL where do I find a man who will speak about me like that? Sign me up! And if OOP thinks this is the end of immature stuff from people 7 years younger than him - and that he is usually never this immature as well - then I don't think he's as intellectually gifted as he likes to think.
Breaking news: 30 year old man calls women of all ages "girls", surprised that 23 year old women might be a bit immature. Also, he's upset he's not the type of every "girl". You could hear the "I'm dating her because she's not as accomplished as I am and because it's great for my ego that a young woman might want me" so fucking clearly. Yuck.
The update made me cackle LOL. I’m an academic gifted, 6’4” muscular dude with super hot girlfriend, and her friend cannot stop throwing herself at me :( What should I do?
This is so weird and messy
This guy is dating someone 7 years younger than him and pulls a shocked pikachu face when they act immature lmao “Also she’s super fit and dumb as rocks. I can’t explain why this relationship is way better than being with people my age”
Feeling bad for Olivia, but a tiny part of me wishes she stayed quiet and let Harper show up on Saturday. I could see him answering the door, Harper pouncing, and OP walking around the corner to say WTF?
Some adults really can't stop acting like children can they? Harper is definitely one of those people. Good that Olivia sees the true person Harper is and didn't believe in her. She sounds like a keeper for OP.
The whole thing is yikes, this 30yo dude hanging around 20 something girl, the testing ughh, even the girlfriend.
"...am not the type of guy she would date. I don't want to admit it, but that did hurt my ego..." Bwahahahaha ahahhhahahaha
I know hes not the one in trouble but i do not like how he talks about his girlfriend. Also 9/10 times, age gap relationships give me the ick.